1 00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:08,717 ["Good Vibes" by Tre Wright & Levi Maddox playing] 2 00:00:14,180 --> 00:00:16,850 [Drea] When you think about vacations, you think about 3 00:00:17,142 --> 00:00:18,685 traveling the world, 4 00:00:18,768 --> 00:00:22,397 unwinding and reconnecting with your family. 5 00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:23,773 [music fades] 6 00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:26,359 But everyone knows what vacation really is. 7 00:00:26,443 --> 00:00:28,528 Vacations are war. 8 00:00:28,611 --> 00:00:30,613 ["War" by Edwin Starr playing] 9 00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:31,823 [explosions, guns firing] 10 00:00:31,906 --> 00:00:35,452 - ♪ What is it good for ♪ - ♪ Absolutely nothing... ♪ 11 00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:39,539 [Drea] And not the 1980s kind of war where you exchange dirty looks 12 00:00:39,622 --> 00:00:41,916 and propaganda movies with the Soviet Union. 13 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:44,294 - We sail into history. - ♪ Absolutely nothing... ♪ 14 00:00:44,377 --> 00:00:45,754 I'm talking war. 15 00:00:46,087 --> 00:00:48,590 Real war, where people get messed up. 16 00:00:49,007 --> 00:00:52,677 - ♪ What is it good for ♪ - ♪ Absolutely nothing ♪ 17 00:00:52,802 --> 00:00:56,014 [Drea] Now, of course, no one starts vacations at each other's throats. 18 00:00:56,097 --> 00:01:00,351 Like any war, all sides do their best to avoid any potential bloodshed 19 00:01:00,977 --> 00:01:02,395 through diplomacy. 20 00:01:03,229 --> 00:01:06,691 Wow. Look at these over-the-water bungalows in Tahiti. 21 00:01:07,984 --> 00:01:09,903 I think they call those bures. 22 00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:12,113 I think they call them 23 00:01:12,489 --> 00:01:15,408 "where God would stay if he wanted to use his AmEx points." 24 00:01:15,825 --> 00:01:17,077 Whoa. Check this out. 25 00:01:17,452 --> 00:01:21,122 They say that the sunsets in Jamaica look like God's orgasm. 26 00:01:22,332 --> 00:01:23,208 No? 27 00:01:23,291 --> 00:01:25,627 Did you know that most 28 00:01:26,377 --> 00:01:29,047 of the world's billionaires vacation on the French Riviera? 29 00:01:29,506 --> 00:01:30,840 [Joya] Mm-hmm. 30 00:01:31,549 --> 00:01:32,801 [Joya] What about the Bahamas? 31 00:01:33,301 --> 00:01:34,653 Dude, we're not going to the Bahamas. 32 00:01:34,677 --> 00:01:38,098 Bahamas is like the fucking Orlando of the Caribbean. Not doing that. 33 00:01:38,181 --> 00:01:40,475 Okay, well, we're not going to Tahiti. 34 00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:41,768 Why? 35 00:01:41,851 --> 00:01:45,980 Because we're not a Midwestern couple who's gonna take our second honeymoon 36 00:01:46,064 --> 00:01:48,691 because we hit it big on a scratcher, that's why. 37 00:01:48,775 --> 00:01:50,735 - [sighs] - We're not going to fucking... 38 00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:52,570 - Puerto Rico, either. - Why? 39 00:01:52,654 --> 00:01:54,656 Name one beautiful place in Puerto Rico. 40 00:01:54,739 --> 00:01:55,907 Vieques. 41 00:01:55,990 --> 00:01:57,492 That's not Spanish, that's German. 42 00:01:57,575 --> 00:01:59,577 - You just made that up. - You don't even know. 43 00:02:00,036 --> 00:02:02,205 Okay, how about DR? 44 00:02:02,705 --> 00:02:04,124 - DR? - DR. 45 00:02:04,207 --> 00:02:05,834 Do you... Do you love your life? 46 00:02:06,292 --> 00:02:08,332 'Cause if you love your life, we're not going to DR. 47 00:02:08,378 --> 00:02:10,338 - Why? - Because I'm not willing to die 48 00:02:10,421 --> 00:02:11,714 "of natural causes" 49 00:02:12,048 --> 00:02:14,801 as my heart explodes out of my chest. 50 00:02:14,884 --> 00:02:16,261 That shit was weird, dude. 51 00:02:16,344 --> 00:02:18,429 - What's wrong with Hawaii? - Where in Hawaii? 52 00:02:18,930 --> 00:02:20,056 Like, Oahu. 53 00:02:20,181 --> 00:02:22,642 I knew you were gonna say the worst island possible. 54 00:02:22,725 --> 00:02:24,018 And when talks fail, 55 00:02:24,102 --> 00:02:26,312 the next step is to rally your allies 56 00:02:26,396 --> 00:02:28,356 and start your campaign of misinformation. 57 00:02:29,649 --> 00:02:30,649 What up, Stink? 58 00:02:31,109 --> 00:02:32,485 Not that I have to sell Brazil 59 00:02:32,569 --> 00:02:34,863 because Brazil is Brazil, but you know, 60 00:02:35,405 --> 00:02:36,573 it is Brazil. 61 00:02:40,285 --> 00:02:43,246 Can every single creature in Australia kill you? 62 00:02:43,329 --> 00:02:45,748 Sure, but that's the price you pay 63 00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:47,667 when you wanna go somewhere they call 64 00:02:47,917 --> 00:02:49,794 "The Gold Coast." 65 00:02:54,507 --> 00:02:55,675 Costa Rica. 66 00:02:56,092 --> 00:02:58,553 It's the place Nelly Furtado went to go get cured of AIDS. 67 00:02:58,636 --> 00:03:01,931 - Nelly Furtado doesn't have AIDS. - Not anymore, she doesn't. 68 00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:03,975 [Drea] And even though alliances are made, 69 00:03:04,058 --> 00:03:05,894 they can easily be broken. 70 00:03:05,977 --> 00:03:08,271 Okay. You want these Super Soakers? 71 00:03:08,354 --> 00:03:09,230 Mm-hmm. 72 00:03:09,314 --> 00:03:11,065 All right, then it has to be Jamaica. 73 00:03:11,149 --> 00:03:12,483 - Jamaica! - Jamaica! 74 00:03:12,567 --> 00:03:13,443 [Joya] Yes! 75 00:03:13,526 --> 00:03:15,236 - Love you, Mom! - Love you! 76 00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:16,862 My guys! 77 00:03:16,946 --> 00:03:18,740 [kids laughing, yelling] 78 00:03:19,365 --> 00:03:20,365 Hey! 79 00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:22,869 [kids continue laughing] 80 00:03:23,786 --> 00:03:25,413 [both groaning] 81 00:03:25,496 --> 00:03:26,696 [Kenya] Look, calm down, guys. 82 00:03:27,373 --> 00:03:28,499 [kids] Whoa! 83 00:03:28,583 --> 00:03:29,643 - [Kenya] Listen to me. - Money! 84 00:03:29,667 --> 00:03:31,107 You don't wanna go to Jamaica, okay? 85 00:03:31,169 --> 00:03:32,479 - Trust me on this. - Yeah, we do. 86 00:03:32,503 --> 00:03:33,838 You know what Jamaica is? 87 00:03:33,922 --> 00:03:36,382 It's an island that has broken glass everywhere, 88 00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:38,635 just little pieces shattered all over the ground. 89 00:03:38,718 --> 00:03:40,553 I think Jamaica actually means, 90 00:03:40,929 --> 00:03:42,513 "island of broken glass." 91 00:03:42,597 --> 00:03:44,724 Wouldn't you rather go to a place 92 00:03:44,807 --> 00:03:48,394 we can sleep in a over-the-water Tahitian bungalow? 93 00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:49,354 [Kam] Ooh. 94 00:03:49,437 --> 00:03:52,148 [Kenya] Doesn't that seem crazy? You can sleep above sharks. 95 00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:53,816 [excitedly] What? That is so cool! 96 00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:56,694 - No, that is not so cool! - [Kenya] What do you mean? 97 00:03:56,778 --> 00:03:59,530 - Why would I wanna sleep above sharks? - What is happening? 98 00:03:59,614 --> 00:04:01,699 Why would you even be allowed to sleep above sharks? 99 00:04:01,783 --> 00:04:03,451 This place sounds super negligent, Dad. 100 00:04:04,035 --> 00:04:06,454 What are you, some kind of cop? What's wrong with you? 101 00:04:06,788 --> 00:04:08,706 [Drea] Do you like being Pops's younger brother? 102 00:04:09,207 --> 00:04:11,793 I'm the little brother, but I'm not younger. 103 00:04:11,876 --> 00:04:15,338 No, you're the little brother and you're younger than him. 104 00:04:17,590 --> 00:04:19,008 That guy's older than me? 105 00:04:19,801 --> 00:04:21,427 I find that hard to believe. 106 00:04:21,886 --> 00:04:23,447 I don't know what else is below there, man. 107 00:04:23,471 --> 00:04:25,640 Probably, like, turtles or stingrays and stuff. 108 00:04:25,723 --> 00:04:26,891 Stingrays are cool, right? 109 00:04:27,141 --> 00:04:29,644 Isn't that that thing that killed the Crocodile Hunter? 110 00:04:29,727 --> 00:04:31,562 That was just a freak accident. 111 00:04:31,646 --> 00:04:34,148 The dude hunts crocodiles, 112 00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:36,109 and got killed by a stingray? 113 00:04:37,402 --> 00:04:38,402 Fine, man. 114 00:04:38,778 --> 00:04:39,946 But how about clownfish? 115 00:04:40,029 --> 00:04:42,198 They also have clownfish you could sleep above. 116 00:04:42,448 --> 00:04:44,284 Clownfish are way cooler than sharks. 117 00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:46,327 I mean, you love clownfish. 118 00:04:46,577 --> 00:04:49,372 I do love clownfish. Nemo was a clownfish. 119 00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:52,041 Yet he also almost got eaten by a shark. 120 00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:53,126 [Kam] But he didn't. 121 00:04:53,876 --> 00:04:56,087 Didn't that shark end up becoming his friend? 122 00:04:56,504 --> 00:04:57,504 He did. 123 00:04:57,755 --> 00:04:58,840 He really did. 124 00:05:00,591 --> 00:05:03,553 What is happening right now? You two are a mess. 125 00:05:03,636 --> 00:05:04,762 Are you in or out? 126 00:05:04,846 --> 00:05:06,306 Island of broken glass 127 00:05:06,556 --> 00:05:08,182 or clownfish? 128 00:05:11,102 --> 00:05:12,102 Yes! 129 00:05:13,021 --> 00:05:14,188 [Kam] No! No! 130 00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:16,357 - No! - Dad! 131 00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:18,860 [Kenya] The boys want to go to Tahiti. 132 00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:21,279 Really? Nothing to do with you? 133 00:05:21,529 --> 00:05:23,614 'Cause they were really excited about Jamaica 134 00:05:23,698 --> 00:05:25,074 until you got in their ear. 135 00:05:25,199 --> 00:05:27,660 - [stammering] I'm... - Chloe still wants to go. 136 00:05:28,244 --> 00:05:29,954 What are you talkin' about? Okay. 137 00:05:30,455 --> 00:05:33,082 And we know which way Drea is going to sway. 138 00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:35,335 Why does that make you comfortable that one of our kids 139 00:05:35,418 --> 00:05:36,645 is always gonna be on your side? 140 00:05:36,669 --> 00:05:39,630 Because that's a great thing. That means I'm a good parent. 141 00:05:40,131 --> 00:05:41,525 That means it comes down to Brooklyn, 142 00:05:41,549 --> 00:05:43,269 and he stared at me in my face the other day 143 00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:44,761 while he took a shit in his pants. 144 00:05:44,844 --> 00:05:47,513 So as far as I'm concerned, his credibility is kind of shot. 145 00:05:47,930 --> 00:05:48,930 Agreed. 146 00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:51,768 [Kenya sighs] 147 00:05:52,101 --> 00:05:53,436 What about Fiji? 148 00:05:57,065 --> 00:05:59,442 - Fiji's actually interesting. - It is, right? 149 00:05:59,984 --> 00:06:02,945 I know how you love your hand-murdered pork 150 00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:04,906 and pineapple combination. 151 00:06:05,323 --> 00:06:07,492 I do. I think it's something... 152 00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:09,827 sexy and primal about it. 153 00:06:09,911 --> 00:06:11,204 Mm-hmm. Wait. 154 00:06:11,788 --> 00:06:12,830 Are we agreeing? 155 00:06:13,915 --> 00:06:15,375 I'm not sure. We're not... 156 00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:16,959 here a lot. 157 00:06:17,043 --> 00:06:18,503 No, we're definitely not. 158 00:06:19,170 --> 00:06:20,588 But it feels like it. 159 00:06:20,671 --> 00:06:21,923 Yeah, I think we're... 160 00:06:22,715 --> 00:06:24,675 I think we're agreeing, right? 161 00:06:24,759 --> 00:06:25,843 - Let's do this. - Yeah! 162 00:06:27,595 --> 00:06:28,429 All right. 163 00:06:28,513 --> 00:06:30,390 We're going to Fiji! 164 00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:32,683 - Yeah! - Yeah! 165 00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:34,769 - [kids cheering] - [Kenya laughs] 166 00:06:34,894 --> 00:06:36,771 It was my idea! 167 00:06:36,854 --> 00:06:38,356 [kids chanting] Mom! Mom! Mom! 168 00:06:38,439 --> 00:06:40,441 - What? - Mom! Mom! Mom! 169 00:06:40,525 --> 00:06:42,026 - What? - How was that your idea? 170 00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:43,945 - It was my idea! - We both talked on it. 171 00:06:44,028 --> 00:06:45,905 We talked about it, but it was my idea first. 172 00:06:45,988 --> 00:06:47,990 - But I was... - Who cares? It's not a competition. 173 00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:51,244 [Drea] And like Eastern Europe in the summer of 1914... 174 00:06:51,661 --> 00:06:53,329 a family heading off on vacation 175 00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:55,998 is just a powder keg waiting to explode. 176 00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:58,418 ♪ You either with me or against me, ho ♪ 177 00:06:58,501 --> 00:06:59,502 ♪ Ho ♪ 178 00:06:59,627 --> 00:07:01,254 ♪ You either with me or ♪ 179 00:07:01,587 --> 00:07:02,422 ♪ Wait ♪ 180 00:07:02,505 --> 00:07:04,674 ♪ Win, win, win, win, win ♪ 181 00:07:04,757 --> 00:07:05,757 ♪ Yeah ♪ 182 00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:08,344 ♪ Fuck everything else Win, win, win, win ♪ 183 00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:09,637 ♪ Win, yeah ♪ 184 00:07:11,139 --> 00:07:14,851 Things between us have, uh, been not great. 185 00:07:15,643 --> 00:07:17,228 Mm. That feels harsh. 186 00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:20,273 But fair. 187 00:07:21,649 --> 00:07:23,526 Our marriage is horrible right now. 188 00:07:24,193 --> 00:07:26,154 Again, harsh. 189 00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:27,488 But fair. 190 00:07:27,572 --> 00:07:29,574 You know what you did and you're okay with it? 191 00:07:29,657 --> 00:07:31,325 You're selfish. Damn! 192 00:07:31,409 --> 00:07:33,744 You think I'm riding some kind of black wave? 193 00:07:33,828 --> 00:07:36,372 What in God's name is happening on your feet? 194 00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:39,000 You're such a bad mom... Like, a failure. 195 00:07:39,083 --> 00:07:41,043 Look, there's obviously a problem here. 196 00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:43,838 Anyway, it's not just us. 197 00:07:43,921 --> 00:07:46,191 Everybody in the house is at each other's throats right now. 198 00:07:46,215 --> 00:07:47,633 Money has ruined us. 199 00:07:47,717 --> 00:07:50,261 - You've never taken us bowling. - Or to a Lakers' game. 200 00:07:50,344 --> 00:07:52,531 The whole "not trying" look only works if you're actually trying. 201 00:07:52,555 --> 00:07:53,598 I brush my hair! 202 00:07:53,681 --> 00:07:55,683 Mom and Dad thought you were high risk for autism. 203 00:07:55,766 --> 00:07:56,767 Y'all are soft. 204 00:07:56,851 --> 00:07:58,895 I shit the diaper, Mommy. 205 00:07:58,978 --> 00:08:01,189 Push comes to shove, I will eat you. 206 00:08:02,231 --> 00:08:04,901 Yeah, well, that's why we need a family vacation. 207 00:08:04,984 --> 00:08:05,818 Yes. 208 00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:08,362 We need, like, a collective release valve. 209 00:08:08,446 --> 00:08:11,032 We try to get them off once a year. Let everybody go 210 00:08:11,115 --> 00:08:14,118 just get their shit off and, you know, be themselves. 211 00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:15,577 Together. 212 00:08:15,786 --> 00:08:16,786 Remember... 213 00:08:16,954 --> 00:08:18,331 you, me, and Chloe 214 00:08:18,414 --> 00:08:20,625 used to go up to Palm Springs in that shitty Volvo? 215 00:08:20,708 --> 00:08:23,336 Oh, my God! Whatever happened to that car? 216 00:08:23,836 --> 00:08:25,838 I sold it, remember? 217 00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:27,673 She didn't sell it. 218 00:08:27,924 --> 00:08:29,717 She was supposed to sell it. 219 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:31,969 She drove it up to Palmdale, got out, 220 00:08:32,053 --> 00:08:34,889 left it on the side of the road and took a town car back. 221 00:08:35,264 --> 00:08:36,641 Who did you sell it to? 222 00:08:37,141 --> 00:08:39,644 I don't remember. It's just so long ago. 223 00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:41,687 After the Volvo, 224 00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:43,648 it was Mexico, 225 00:08:43,814 --> 00:08:45,066 - flying coach. - Mmm. 226 00:08:45,149 --> 00:08:46,776 [Kenya laughing] 227 00:08:46,859 --> 00:08:50,112 And then things started to pick up for both of us professionally. 228 00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:52,657 Um, yeah, we started stepping up our game a little bit. 229 00:08:53,157 --> 00:08:56,327 You know, making that left instead of the right when you get on the plane. 230 00:08:56,410 --> 00:08:58,496 Flying first class is just a different experience. 231 00:08:58,579 --> 00:09:00,081 It's really almost not like flying. 232 00:09:00,164 --> 00:09:01,499 Honestly, I kinda feel like 233 00:09:01,582 --> 00:09:03,709 the people in the back of the plane are animals now. 234 00:09:03,793 --> 00:09:05,419 Like, that's, like, a cargo hold. 235 00:09:07,296 --> 00:09:09,840 Yo, guys, honestly, fuck that first-class bullshit. 236 00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:12,552 That isn't when we arrive, this trip is when we arrive. 237 00:09:13,135 --> 00:09:15,263 I really did it. Set this shit off this time. 238 00:09:15,346 --> 00:09:17,265 Went in my bag and went for it. 239 00:09:17,848 --> 00:09:18,683 [exhales] 240 00:09:18,766 --> 00:09:20,768 I did it. It's PJ time. 241 00:09:21,352 --> 00:09:22,645 It's PJ o'clock. It's... 242 00:09:22,728 --> 00:09:23,938 It's half-past PJ. 243 00:09:24,438 --> 00:09:26,941 PJ's "private jet." Why didn't I just say, "private jet." 244 00:09:27,441 --> 00:09:29,443 If I'm acting nervous, it's because I'm nervous. 245 00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:31,696 Private jets are, like, really expensive. 246 00:09:31,779 --> 00:09:34,282 In fact, I've heard people with a lot of money say 247 00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:35,992 "It's the quickest way to go broke." 248 00:09:36,492 --> 00:09:37,493 Scottie Pippen, 249 00:09:37,994 --> 00:09:40,204 perhaps the greatest swing man in the history 250 00:09:40,496 --> 00:09:43,165 of the National Basketball Association, went broke... 251 00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:46,335 [exhaling]...doing what I'm doing. 252 00:09:47,795 --> 00:09:48,795 He's in my head. 253 00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:52,049 I have my concerns. I mean, that guy could shoot, 254 00:09:52,216 --> 00:09:54,760 defend, rebound, really just a complete package. 255 00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:56,845 Broke. 256 00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:58,639 Doing what I'm doing. 257 00:10:03,311 --> 00:10:04,311 Fuck it. 258 00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:06,772 I'm gonna be a hero to my fucking family. 259 00:10:06,856 --> 00:10:08,691 ["Kinda Like a Big Deal" by Clipse playing] 260 00:10:08,774 --> 00:10:10,526 ♪ I'm kinda like a big deal ♪ 261 00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:11,777 ♪ It's unbelievable ♪ 262 00:10:11,861 --> 00:10:14,238 ♪ You see my warning Gives you big chills ♪ 263 00:10:14,322 --> 00:10:15,823 ♪ The flow runnin' on Big's heels ♪ 264 00:10:15,906 --> 00:10:19,368 ♪ My life after death Big ain't get to see how this feels ♪ 265 00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:21,495 ♪ Third time's a charm baby ♪ 266 00:10:21,579 --> 00:10:24,624 ♪ After two classics Another stripe up on my arm baby ♪ 267 00:10:24,707 --> 00:10:27,835 ♪ Pardon me, I must say, I'm kinda like a big deal... ♪ 268 00:10:27,918 --> 00:10:30,463 Yo, ain't know I was gonna do them like this though, right? 269 00:10:30,546 --> 00:10:32,256 Hit them over the head with that privé! 270 00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:33,465 Bla-lah! 271 00:10:33,966 --> 00:10:34,966 I did okay, right? 272 00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:38,262 Taking that PJ to Fi-J, you know what I'm saying? 273 00:10:38,971 --> 00:10:40,181 You guys see this? 274 00:10:40,681 --> 00:10:41,682 We out 'chere. 275 00:10:42,099 --> 00:10:43,893 Big things in these... streets. 276 00:10:45,227 --> 00:10:47,021 Okay, go fuck myself, I guess. 277 00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:52,276 Family vacation has a pretty loose meaning in this family. 278 00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:55,696 It's why Jo's cousin, Peaches, and my assistant Danny are tagging along. 279 00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:58,032 The PJ's a flat fee so it actually makes sense, 280 00:10:58,115 --> 00:11:00,201 because the more people that come along, 281 00:11:00,409 --> 00:11:02,870 the less it amortizes out to be, and if you get enough people, 282 00:11:02,953 --> 00:11:06,749 it's basically cheaper than a commercial flight, is what I've been telling myself. 283 00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:09,250 Yeah. 284 00:11:09,627 --> 00:11:10,461 It's cheaper. 285 00:11:10,544 --> 00:11:13,104 - You know, this is the bigger one. - Do they have two bathrooms? 286 00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:14,632 - [Chloe] Q! - [Kenya] I'm sure. 287 00:11:14,715 --> 00:11:15,925 [Marquise] Chloe! 288 00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:18,094 - Yeah! - [both laughing] 289 00:11:18,636 --> 00:11:19,637 [Chloe] Oh, my God! 290 00:11:20,137 --> 00:11:21,430 [Chloe laughing] 291 00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:24,600 - Did you know he was coming? - Marquise? 292 00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:26,018 Yeah, Marquise. 293 00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:27,687 No. 294 00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:28,979 Did you know he was coming? 295 00:11:29,063 --> 00:11:30,439 No, I didn't know he was coming. 296 00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:31,523 Wait. 297 00:11:31,732 --> 00:11:33,234 Did you know he was coming? 298 00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:34,360 No. 299 00:11:34,443 --> 00:11:35,361 [continues laughing] 300 00:11:35,444 --> 00:11:37,613 Of course I knew Marquise was coming. 301 00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:40,366 It was the only way to get Chloe to come. 302 00:11:40,449 --> 00:11:42,243 If I had said no and made her go, 303 00:11:42,326 --> 00:11:45,204 she would've been little a bitch the whole time. So what's the point? 304 00:11:45,287 --> 00:11:47,164 [Drea] So why didn't you just tell Dad? 305 00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:50,251 Because he would've been a little bitch the whole time. 306 00:11:50,334 --> 00:11:51,460 So what's the point? 307 00:11:54,755 --> 00:11:55,755 What the fuck? 308 00:11:58,634 --> 00:12:00,261 What's up with this fucking guy? 309 00:12:00,344 --> 00:12:02,513 He just picks up people's bags? Who does that? 310 00:12:02,888 --> 00:12:05,975 You don't even like helping with the bags. You hate helping with the bags. 311 00:12:06,058 --> 00:12:07,101 I don't care, man. 312 00:12:07,184 --> 00:12:09,770 You don't just pick up another man's family's bags. 313 00:12:09,854 --> 00:12:12,148 I'm the Dad. I decide who does that. 314 00:12:13,023 --> 00:12:15,317 - Okay, you're ridiculous. - You're ridiculous! 315 00:12:16,110 --> 00:12:18,779 Babe, I'm the dad. I decide about the bags. 316 00:12:18,863 --> 00:12:21,198 - You are the dad. - That's... That's just how it goes. 317 00:12:21,866 --> 00:12:22,866 Okay. 318 00:12:24,034 --> 00:12:25,745 [Kenya] Yo, Danny. Playboy. 319 00:12:26,078 --> 00:12:27,639 I want you to bang out a family pic for me. 320 00:12:27,663 --> 00:12:30,016 - Oh, but then I can't be in it. - I know, I know, it's all good, bud. 321 00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:31,834 - Just... Just get that done for me. - Okay. 322 00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:34,754 Kids! Let's get together for a pic. 323 00:12:35,337 --> 00:12:36,338 - [Kam] No! - Now! 324 00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:38,758 No, come on, everybody. Yes, you have to. 325 00:12:38,841 --> 00:12:40,986 - I'm gonna get on the plane. - No, you're not! No, you're not. 326 00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:44,180 - I wanna watch TV on the plane. - Please turn around. Please turn around. 327 00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:46,932 Marquise, don't worry really about being in this. 328 00:12:47,016 --> 00:12:49,518 - Don't feel... Oh, you're in it. - I'm part of the family! 329 00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:51,145 - Oh, my God. - Wow, this is... 330 00:12:51,228 --> 00:12:52,956 - You're so close to me! Scoot. - I don't care! 331 00:12:52,980 --> 00:12:54,332 - [kids overlapping] - [Danny] This is really clear. 332 00:12:54,356 --> 00:12:55,191 Is this a phone or... 333 00:12:55,274 --> 00:12:57,818 - Can you please take the picture? - I'm taking it. I can't... 334 00:12:57,902 --> 00:13:00,696 Just take it. Okay, fine. The picture's taken. It's fine. 335 00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:02,198 It's fine. It's fine. 336 00:13:02,281 --> 00:13:04,533 Just give me the camera. Everybody, get on the plane. 337 00:13:06,952 --> 00:13:08,370 White leather. 338 00:13:08,454 --> 00:13:09,872 This is nice, guys, right? 339 00:13:11,290 --> 00:13:13,417 Um, you know, there's Wi-Fi. 340 00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:16,629 It'll make your music you're using to drown me out louder. 341 00:13:17,129 --> 00:13:18,130 Um... 342 00:13:18,672 --> 00:13:19,924 There's food in the back. 343 00:13:20,007 --> 00:13:22,760 You know, it's, like, shrimp and crab for you. Only. 344 00:13:22,843 --> 00:13:23,761 - Okay. - Thanks, Pops. 345 00:13:23,844 --> 00:13:25,054 No, it's for... 346 00:13:27,097 --> 00:13:29,058 Ba-ba! Want some juice later? 347 00:13:29,141 --> 00:13:31,369 - I want some juice now. - [Kenya] Okay, you can have some. 348 00:13:31,393 --> 00:13:33,371 Okay, I'll get you some juice, but don't tell Peaches. 349 00:13:33,395 --> 00:13:34,395 She'll drink it all. 350 00:13:34,438 --> 00:13:37,107 What up, boys? Got the couch option, I see. 351 00:13:37,191 --> 00:13:38,901 Nice white leather. 352 00:13:38,984 --> 00:13:41,529 There's beverages in the back. I think I saw a La Croix 353 00:13:41,612 --> 00:13:43,072 and some other things you may like. 354 00:13:43,155 --> 00:13:44,740 Danny, you're welcome, buddy. 355 00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:46,492 Seriously. I know this is a big day. 356 00:13:46,867 --> 00:13:48,410 That shirt's dog shit too, by the way. 357 00:13:48,911 --> 00:13:50,079 This is us, guys. 358 00:13:51,163 --> 00:13:52,163 All right. 359 00:13:53,582 --> 00:13:55,167 Ridiculous, I swear. 360 00:13:55,251 --> 00:13:56,251 Fucking... 361 00:13:57,294 --> 00:13:58,294 Look at that. 362 00:13:59,171 --> 00:14:00,464 Hashtag ungrateful. 363 00:14:00,589 --> 00:14:01,882 Can you stop? 364 00:14:02,341 --> 00:14:04,718 This is for us. That's okay. 365 00:14:05,761 --> 00:14:07,388 Everybody knows you're a baller. 366 00:14:07,471 --> 00:14:09,723 They're just used to it. And that's a good thing. 367 00:14:09,807 --> 00:14:10,641 [Kenya] How? 368 00:14:10,724 --> 00:14:13,477 'Cause otherwise they would be maniacs running around 369 00:14:13,561 --> 00:14:16,647 trying to eat all the prosciutto and melon before we take off. 370 00:14:17,606 --> 00:14:19,149 There's prosciutto and melon? 371 00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:22,111 Guys! Prosciutto and melon is also available. 372 00:14:22,194 --> 00:14:25,489 It's delicious. I'm gonna get everybody a plate. It comes with the plane. 373 00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:31,382 [Chloe] Let's see what movies are playing. 374 00:14:33,497 --> 00:14:34,707 You know? You know? 375 00:14:37,084 --> 00:14:39,670 Why are you staring at Chloe with crippling sadness? 376 00:14:39,753 --> 00:14:41,046 [scoffing] I'm not. 377 00:14:42,089 --> 00:14:45,009 [Izzy] So, my sisters always fight. Like, they hate each other. 378 00:14:45,092 --> 00:14:47,469 Then, for some reason when we go on vacation, 379 00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:49,013 they're like best friends. 380 00:14:49,221 --> 00:14:52,433 But now Chloe has Marquise, and Drea's all alone. 381 00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:55,978 She's really in her feelings about it. It's hilarious. 382 00:14:56,061 --> 00:14:58,439 [Izzy laughing] 383 00:15:00,649 --> 00:15:02,693 You need therapy. Bad. 384 00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:05,487 At least I didn't lose my only friend. 385 00:15:05,571 --> 00:15:08,073 [continues laughing] 386 00:15:10,576 --> 00:15:11,576 Thanks. 387 00:15:12,494 --> 00:15:14,330 You have such a beautiful family. 388 00:15:14,413 --> 00:15:15,789 So well put together. 389 00:15:15,873 --> 00:15:17,333 - Thank you. - And your husband, 390 00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:20,419 so lucky he just gets to throw on a track suit. 391 00:15:20,502 --> 00:15:22,296 Bet he can't do that at his normal job. 392 00:15:22,379 --> 00:15:23,756 [chuckles] 393 00:15:23,964 --> 00:15:25,299 [Joya] I get off on this shit. 394 00:15:25,382 --> 00:15:28,385 She is dying to know what we do for a living. 395 00:15:28,469 --> 00:15:31,138 She's like, "How do these black people have so much money?" 396 00:15:31,555 --> 00:15:34,308 And the tattoos. You really only see that in... 397 00:15:34,850 --> 00:15:37,686 the music industry, or on athletes or... 398 00:15:38,604 --> 00:15:39,688 drug dealers. 399 00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:43,651 [laughing] That's fu... Yeah. That is where you see those. 400 00:15:44,985 --> 00:15:46,070 Dying. 401 00:15:46,445 --> 00:15:49,448 If you need anything, or just wanna talk about your life, 402 00:15:49,740 --> 00:15:50,574 I'll be around. 403 00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:51,658 Thanks. 404 00:15:52,159 --> 00:15:53,994 Actually, there is, uh, one thing. 405 00:15:54,328 --> 00:15:55,328 Yeah. 406 00:15:56,246 --> 00:15:58,791 Do you have any warm nuts? 407 00:15:59,667 --> 00:16:02,336 - Just, like, cashews or almonds? - Yeah. Okay. 408 00:16:02,711 --> 00:16:04,129 Thank you. 409 00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:06,131 She came back, 410 00:16:06,215 --> 00:16:09,301 and I organically slipped in that I was a lawyer. 411 00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:11,261 Blew her mind. [chuckles] 412 00:16:11,345 --> 00:16:14,390 [Drea] Yeah, I'm sure it was super organic. 413 00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:19,979 Danny Fricka-Fricka-Fresh. Oh, my God, or Sir White-A-Lot. 414 00:16:20,062 --> 00:16:21,331 - Oh, I like that. I like that. - Yeah? 415 00:16:21,355 --> 00:16:23,983 I know you can get mad bitches with that. And I'll twerk for you. 416 00:16:24,066 --> 00:16:24,942 [Danny] You will? 417 00:16:25,025 --> 00:16:26,878 And I'll be your Fly Girl, you know what I'm saying? 418 00:16:26,902 --> 00:16:28,112 - I know. - Oh, my God! 419 00:16:28,195 --> 00:16:29,738 - I so believe in you. - You do? 420 00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,841 - Yes! I wouldn't twerk for everybody. - Oh, my God. 421 00:16:31,865 --> 00:16:34,243 D. Let me holla at you for a second, playboy. 422 00:16:37,705 --> 00:16:39,307 [whispering] What the fuck are you doing, dude? 423 00:16:39,331 --> 00:16:41,125 - What? - You don't talk to the help! 424 00:16:41,208 --> 00:16:42,042 But I am the help. 425 00:16:42,126 --> 00:16:44,396 What are you talking about? No, you're not. You're my family. 426 00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:45,295 Oh, that's nice. 427 00:16:45,379 --> 00:16:47,983 'Cause before when you asked me to take the picture, I was feeling left out. 428 00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:49,967 Dude, why does everything have to get weird? 429 00:16:50,050 --> 00:16:52,052 Just don't talk to Peaches. 430 00:16:52,136 --> 00:16:53,220 - Don't talk to her. - Why? 431 00:16:53,303 --> 00:16:55,681 Because that's Joya's family. She's a plant. 432 00:16:55,764 --> 00:16:58,600 Joya uses her to get information on me. Do not talk to her. 433 00:16:59,101 --> 00:17:01,186 She's just helping me come up with DJ names. 434 00:17:01,270 --> 00:17:02,938 Goddamn it, Danny! 435 00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:05,208 You're not a fuckin' DJ! Don't you see what's happening? 436 00:17:05,232 --> 00:17:07,792 - I'm sorry, I just don't understand. - No, you don't understand. 437 00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:09,570 She is using you, dude. 438 00:17:09,653 --> 00:17:12,072 She's making you believe that you can do anything. 439 00:17:12,156 --> 00:17:14,450 Then she takes all the information. Next thing you know, 440 00:17:14,742 --> 00:17:15,826 I'm... I'm dead. 441 00:17:15,909 --> 00:17:17,619 By the way, have you seen this bathroom? 442 00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:19,848 - It's incredible. I'll use the toilet now. - Incredible. 443 00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:21,915 No, you can't use it. The... 444 00:17:21,999 --> 00:17:24,960 The captain has some rule, like, only immediate family members. 445 00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:26,795 I thought you said I was your... 446 00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:29,798 No, I'm just saying, like, this is the captain's rules, not mine. 447 00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:30,758 - Okay. - Okay. 448 00:17:30,841 --> 00:17:32,801 But there's a squat pot or something. 449 00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:33,885 That's... Okay. 450 00:17:34,303 --> 00:17:36,096 Danny? You my family. 451 00:17:37,806 --> 00:17:39,558 No, not that kind of family. 452 00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:44,855 Hi, um, could I get a glass of champagne? 453 00:17:46,815 --> 00:17:49,276 - Sure, let me get that for you. - Thank you. 454 00:17:49,359 --> 00:17:51,737 So, fake IDs? That's what we're doing now? 455 00:17:52,029 --> 00:17:55,365 Hey, it doesn't matter anyways. We're in international waters. 456 00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:58,744 Uh, we're not in the water. We're in the air. 457 00:17:58,827 --> 00:18:00,913 Okay, how about you get a glass and loosen up? 458 00:18:01,121 --> 00:18:02,289 I don't like champagne. 459 00:18:02,706 --> 00:18:06,293 Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you had such a refined alcohol palate 460 00:18:06,376 --> 00:18:08,796 to not like the world's most beloved drink. 461 00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:10,589 I like other alcohol. 462 00:18:11,006 --> 00:18:12,006 Like what? 463 00:18:13,217 --> 00:18:14,217 Vodka. 464 00:18:14,802 --> 00:18:15,802 What kind? 465 00:18:16,470 --> 00:18:17,470 Ciroc. 466 00:18:17,554 --> 00:18:18,554 What flavor? 467 00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:20,641 Guava. 468 00:18:21,517 --> 00:18:24,186 You are so lame! 469 00:18:24,269 --> 00:18:26,647 You literally chose the one flavor that they don't make. 470 00:18:26,730 --> 00:18:28,899 Look, they have apple, 471 00:18:28,982 --> 00:18:30,859 pineapple, red berry, 472 00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:31,943 - amaretto. - Here you go. 473 00:18:32,402 --> 00:18:33,445 Thank you so much. 474 00:18:33,529 --> 00:18:35,614 You know what? I don't have to take shit from you. 475 00:18:35,697 --> 00:18:38,909 Peach, limited edition white grape. Yummy! 476 00:18:38,992 --> 00:18:41,286 Yo, I just had a transformative dream. 477 00:18:42,329 --> 00:18:44,206 And it was beautiful. 478 00:18:44,289 --> 00:18:45,289 [Chloe] Mmm. 479 00:18:47,334 --> 00:18:49,128 Okay, they have French vanilla, 480 00:18:49,336 --> 00:18:52,548 mango, pineapple, coconut. 481 00:18:55,175 --> 00:18:56,175 All right. 482 00:18:56,593 --> 00:18:58,595 [laughing] 483 00:18:58,762 --> 00:19:00,973 Come on. You just gotta pull the hand out. 484 00:19:01,098 --> 00:19:02,738 It's a really simple game. Move your hand. 485 00:19:02,808 --> 00:19:04,434 Are you serious about this clown? 486 00:19:04,518 --> 00:19:06,770 Why did you just call my boyfriend a clown? 487 00:19:06,854 --> 00:19:09,273 - [Kam giggling] - I get it. You guys are a college thing. 488 00:19:09,356 --> 00:19:11,859 But it's a college thing and then it's over, right? 489 00:19:11,942 --> 00:19:13,026 [Chloe] Look at him. 490 00:19:13,485 --> 00:19:15,445 - [Kenya] I'm looking at him. - He's so cute. 491 00:19:15,529 --> 00:19:17,739 You know who else was cute? Manson. 492 00:19:18,198 --> 00:19:22,077 - Just tell me it's gonna stop soon. - Dad, it's my choice, okay? 493 00:19:22,536 --> 00:19:24,413 Can we not talk about this right now? 494 00:19:25,414 --> 00:19:27,749 I've always questioned Chloe's judgment, but... 495 00:19:28,125 --> 00:19:29,125 this is different. 496 00:19:29,668 --> 00:19:30,752 This is scary. 497 00:19:30,836 --> 00:19:33,589 [Marquise] Excuse me, Pops, can I talk to you for a quick second? 498 00:19:33,714 --> 00:19:34,714 Hey, man. 499 00:19:35,841 --> 00:19:38,135 I just wanna say this is a really amazing opportunity 500 00:19:38,218 --> 00:19:40,262 and it's so dope that you put all this together. 501 00:19:40,762 --> 00:19:41,763 It's special. 502 00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:43,515 You know, I don't have a dad. 503 00:19:43,724 --> 00:19:46,143 I mean, I'm not saying you're my dad. I'm just, 504 00:19:46,226 --> 00:19:48,770 you know, you just have such a beautiful family and... 505 00:19:49,688 --> 00:19:52,983 I guess I'm just really thankful you decided to include me in all of this. 506 00:19:53,066 --> 00:19:55,110 So, like, I don't know, real talk, thank you. 507 00:19:56,445 --> 00:19:57,445 Mm-hmm. 508 00:19:58,989 --> 00:20:00,157 Mmm. 509 00:20:00,365 --> 00:20:02,868 You're a Jamaican dude. You wanna marry a Swedish model 510 00:20:02,951 --> 00:20:04,119 and move to Pasadena, 511 00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:06,580 that's what your kid's gonna look like. Remember that. 512 00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:09,082 ["Quiet Storm (Remix)" by Mobb Deep playing] 513 00:20:09,166 --> 00:20:11,543 ♪ We done seen it all And been through it all, yo ♪ 514 00:20:11,627 --> 00:20:15,297 ♪ Let y'all niggas know right now Word to mother, for real, for real ♪ 515 00:20:15,422 --> 00:20:17,883 [Drea] Rarely do I give my parents credit for anything... 516 00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:19,343 but Fiji? 517 00:20:19,927 --> 00:20:21,970 Why did it take us so long to come here? 518 00:20:22,179 --> 00:20:24,556 ♪ Blowin' niggas With rusty-ass German things ♪ 519 00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:27,017 ♪ Keepin' it thorough Is our motherfuckin' claim to fame ♪ 520 00:20:27,100 --> 00:20:29,811 ♪ Throw on your wetsuit When it rains it pours and all ♪ 521 00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:31,055 ♪ Hit 'em with the four... ♪ 522 00:20:31,104 --> 00:20:33,232 - [conch sounding] - [yells] 523 00:20:33,315 --> 00:20:35,359 ♪ Niggas wanna clap me Snitches wanna rat me? ♪ 524 00:20:35,442 --> 00:20:37,236 ♪ Put it right where they back be ♪ 525 00:20:37,319 --> 00:20:39,696 ♪ Keep my Dunns close to me Enemies even closer ♪ 526 00:20:39,780 --> 00:20:41,823 ♪ Sendin' kites with the Motorolas, yo ♪ 527 00:20:41,907 --> 00:20:44,493 ♪ Give 'em the cold shoulder With a hollow-tip to match ♪ 528 00:20:44,576 --> 00:20:46,703 ♪ Bad apple outta the batch Obsessed with gats ♪ 529 00:20:46,787 --> 00:20:49,539 ♪ Since a little dude Eating niggas food buck-fifty's ♪ 530 00:20:49,623 --> 00:20:51,625 ♪ Niggas can kill me But they comin' wit me ♪ 531 00:20:51,708 --> 00:20:54,211 ♪ How about that Send the Queen Bee to attack ♪ 532 00:20:54,294 --> 00:20:56,588 ♪ Only a fly bitch like that Can leave 'em relaxed ♪ 533 00:20:56,672 --> 00:20:59,132 ♪ Rock 'em to sleep Make 'em think the drama is dead ♪ 534 00:20:59,216 --> 00:21:01,677 ♪ Yo, I smile up in your face Though I'm plottin' instead ♪ 535 00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:03,863 ♪ Yo, it's the real shit Shit to make you feel shit ♪ 536 00:21:03,887 --> 00:21:07,015 ♪ Thump 'em in the club shit Have you wilding out when you bump this ♪ 537 00:21:07,140 --> 00:21:08,892 ♪ Drugs to your eardrum The raw uncut ♪ 538 00:21:08,976 --> 00:21:11,144 ♪ Have a nigga OD 'Cause it's never enough ♪ 539 00:21:11,228 --> 00:21:13,563 ♪ Yo, it's the real shit Shit to make you feel shit ♪ 540 00:21:13,689 --> 00:21:16,817 ♪ Thump 'em in the club shit Have you wilding out when you bump this ♪ 541 00:21:16,900 --> 00:21:19,027 ♪ Drugs to your eardrum The raw uncut ♪ 542 00:21:19,111 --> 00:21:21,321 ♪ Have a nigga OD 'Cause it's never enough ♪ 543 00:21:22,114 --> 00:21:25,242 I'll be honest, this would not be a bad place to play Count the Black People. 544 00:21:25,701 --> 00:21:27,411 It would be an extremely short game. 545 00:21:27,494 --> 00:21:29,579 Like, almost immediately over. [laughing] 546 00:21:29,663 --> 00:21:31,915 Ooh, what about that African family right over there? 547 00:21:33,375 --> 00:21:34,960 - No. - No. 548 00:21:35,043 --> 00:21:37,063 [Kenya] Africans don't really fuck with African-Americans. 549 00:21:37,087 --> 00:21:38,130 They look down on us. 550 00:21:38,213 --> 00:21:39,881 See? Didn't even say hi. 551 00:21:40,590 --> 00:21:42,426 They're kind of better than us in some ways. 552 00:21:42,509 --> 00:21:44,261 We're the black people that got caught. 553 00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:48,932 [Drea] If you're still following the war/powder keg metaphor, 554 00:21:49,016 --> 00:21:51,601 room assignments were basically the matches. 555 00:21:58,525 --> 00:21:59,776 No, no, no. 556 00:22:00,277 --> 00:22:02,821 You two can share the couch. I'm taking the bed. 557 00:22:04,072 --> 00:22:05,741 Izzy's always pushing me around. 558 00:22:06,408 --> 00:22:07,408 Not this trip. 559 00:22:07,826 --> 00:22:09,661 This time, I'm going to stick up for myself. 560 00:22:09,786 --> 00:22:10,787 You know what, Izzy? 561 00:22:11,288 --> 00:22:14,374 I don't think you understand. It is not okay to ju... 562 00:22:16,460 --> 00:22:18,420 I just folded those! 563 00:22:19,671 --> 00:22:20,671 [Kam] What the... 564 00:22:21,214 --> 00:22:23,383 - [Pops] Izzy! - I really don't care what you think. 565 00:22:25,719 --> 00:22:28,805 Don't worry, little bro. You can stay on the couch with me. 566 00:22:30,807 --> 00:22:32,434 [Kam] I love my little brother. 567 00:22:32,517 --> 00:22:33,894 I mean big brother. 568 00:22:35,479 --> 00:22:37,689 This is going to take some getting used to. 569 00:22:37,939 --> 00:22:39,775 I mean, he's just so soft. 570 00:22:40,275 --> 00:22:42,277 It's fine. It's just who I am. 571 00:22:42,694 --> 00:22:44,237 No, it's not fine. 572 00:22:44,321 --> 00:22:46,031 You got to stand up for yourself. 573 00:22:46,239 --> 00:22:48,283 You can't be a victim your whole life. 574 00:22:50,035 --> 00:22:52,079 You see why this guy confuses me? 575 00:22:56,249 --> 00:22:58,460 Um, what is he doing in here? 576 00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:01,296 Um, this is actually me and Marquise's room, so... 577 00:23:01,421 --> 00:23:02,255 [Kenya laughs] 578 00:23:02,339 --> 00:23:05,509 No, it is fucking not. Are you crazy? 579 00:23:05,967 --> 00:23:07,386 Nope, not on my watch. 580 00:23:07,469 --> 00:23:09,971 I mean, I'm a cool dad. I'm not that fucking cool. 581 00:23:10,055 --> 00:23:12,724 You will be staying with your sister in this room. 582 00:23:13,725 --> 00:23:15,519 And I'm going to be staying with... 583 00:23:15,602 --> 00:23:17,104 I wish you weren't here, 584 00:23:17,229 --> 00:23:19,773 but since you are, you're going to be staying with Danny. 585 00:23:19,856 --> 00:23:21,656 - Yes! - Who, unfortunately, only has one bed. 586 00:23:22,567 --> 00:23:24,069 - Respect. - To Danny. 587 00:23:26,988 --> 00:23:28,990 I sleep in the nude, FYI, so... 588 00:23:29,074 --> 00:23:30,826 - Me too. - Real life crazy person. 589 00:23:35,163 --> 00:23:37,249 - This is really beautiful, dude. - Yeah. 590 00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:41,729 It's hot as fuck, though. Did you know it was gonna be this hot out here? 591 00:23:41,753 --> 00:23:43,255 I mean, yeah. It's an island. 592 00:23:43,505 --> 00:23:45,132 Yeah, I guess that's right. 593 00:23:45,549 --> 00:23:46,633 Yo, man, look. 594 00:23:47,384 --> 00:23:49,261 I need you to watch Marquise for me. Seriously. 595 00:23:49,344 --> 00:23:51,555 Like, don't let him outta your eyes this entire trip. 596 00:23:51,638 --> 00:23:53,198 Sweet. That guy has it all figured out. 597 00:23:53,223 --> 00:23:55,684 I feel like I can learn a lot just by being in his orbit. 598 00:23:55,934 --> 00:23:57,734 Do I have to worry about you fucking him, too? 599 00:23:57,811 --> 00:23:58,811 What? 600 00:23:59,020 --> 00:24:01,481 Do I have to worry about you fucking him, too? 601 00:24:01,565 --> 00:24:03,024 He's dating your daughter already. 602 00:24:03,108 --> 00:24:05,652 - I mean, it's not even a... - That's not the answer, dude! 603 00:24:05,735 --> 00:24:06,570 What do... 604 00:24:06,653 --> 00:24:08,029 - No? - I mean, he's taken. 605 00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:09,197 [sighs] 606 00:24:09,281 --> 00:24:11,384 Dude, I'm gonna go cut these into shorts. I'll be back. 607 00:24:11,408 --> 00:24:12,701 - Do you need help? - No, man! 608 00:24:12,784 --> 00:24:14,178 - I'll hold your... - What's going on? 609 00:24:14,202 --> 00:24:15,202 Okay, nothing! 610 00:24:17,956 --> 00:24:18,956 [Kenya] Yo, yo! 611 00:24:19,833 --> 00:24:21,168 - [Joya] Yo. - What's up, cutie? 612 00:24:21,251 --> 00:24:22,711 - Hey. - How you doing? 613 00:24:23,086 --> 00:24:24,086 Good. 614 00:24:24,838 --> 00:24:26,006 Not bad, right? 615 00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:27,883 Beautiful. 616 00:24:28,592 --> 00:24:31,219 I got that island. Rented that for us for lunch. 617 00:24:31,303 --> 00:24:32,220 That's ours. 618 00:24:32,304 --> 00:24:33,889 This big island? 619 00:24:33,972 --> 00:24:34,973 No, that... 620 00:24:35,807 --> 00:24:36,808 It's that one. 621 00:24:37,350 --> 00:24:38,935 Was it expensive? 622 00:24:39,561 --> 00:24:42,189 It wasn't cheap. It's an island. 623 00:24:43,648 --> 00:24:46,651 Anyway, you want to go to the beach? Everybody's hanging out. 624 00:24:46,735 --> 00:24:48,945 - Nah. - Nah? 625 00:24:50,614 --> 00:24:52,282 We also could, you know, maybe... 626 00:24:52,908 --> 00:24:54,576 Uh, no, I... 627 00:24:55,243 --> 00:24:57,037 I'm just getting situated. 628 00:24:57,120 --> 00:24:58,514 You know, I got to get my bearings. 629 00:24:58,538 --> 00:24:59,748 - Sure. - Yeah. 630 00:24:59,831 --> 00:25:02,667 This is "vacation mode" for Jo. She never wants to do anything. 631 00:25:02,751 --> 00:25:04,127 I mean, literally nothing. 632 00:25:04,461 --> 00:25:07,964 The point of vacation is not to do anything. 633 00:25:08,048 --> 00:25:09,090 To relax. 634 00:25:09,758 --> 00:25:12,969 This is an indication that I'm in a very good place in my life. 635 00:25:13,053 --> 00:25:14,304 If I wasn't relaxed, 636 00:25:14,387 --> 00:25:16,515 I would be manic and nobody wants that. 637 00:25:16,932 --> 00:25:19,410 The guess the point of this vacation was to work on our marriage. 638 00:25:19,434 --> 00:25:20,435 She said it was horrible. 639 00:25:20,852 --> 00:25:23,605 You heard her. She literally said those words, so... 640 00:25:24,064 --> 00:25:25,440 Here I am, working. 641 00:25:25,941 --> 00:25:26,941 On our marriage. 642 00:25:27,442 --> 00:25:29,945 - Um, all right, have a good day. - Thank you. 643 00:25:30,028 --> 00:25:32,614 We could also do other, like, top stuff if you want. 644 00:25:33,740 --> 00:25:34,991 No, forget it. All right. 645 00:25:35,784 --> 00:25:37,244 - Have a good day. - You too. 646 00:25:37,327 --> 00:25:39,037 Doing whatever it is you're doing. 647 00:25:40,038 --> 00:25:41,038 Jump! 648 00:25:44,543 --> 00:25:46,670 - [Peaches] Get in the pool, Brooklyn. - No. 649 00:25:47,712 --> 00:25:49,089 Get in the pool, you coward. 650 00:25:49,172 --> 00:25:50,257 [Kenya] Yo, babe. 651 00:25:50,340 --> 00:25:51,567 - [Brooklyn] No. - [Peaches] Come on! 652 00:25:51,591 --> 00:25:53,591 We've got some light. We should do something, dude. 653 00:25:53,635 --> 00:25:56,555 Like, get on a fucking jet ski or go snorkel or some shit. 654 00:25:56,638 --> 00:25:59,808 Get one of those stand-up paddle boards the white dudes be doing. 655 00:26:00,559 --> 00:26:01,476 Nah. 656 00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:05,105 I mean, or we could find, like, a spot on the beach 657 00:26:05,188 --> 00:26:08,567 kind of secluded, like, maybe just me and you. 658 00:26:08,650 --> 00:26:09,776 Nah. 659 00:26:09,859 --> 00:26:10,859 [Kenya groans] 660 00:26:10,902 --> 00:26:11,902 Right. 661 00:26:13,321 --> 00:26:14,823 Yo, my man. 662 00:26:15,365 --> 00:26:16,366 [tapping] 663 00:26:16,616 --> 00:26:18,868 It's gonna fuckin' be a long night. 664 00:26:18,952 --> 00:26:21,746 Just keep the drinks coming, doubles for both of us. 665 00:26:22,205 --> 00:26:24,624 - Two for me, please. - Hey, she wants two. 666 00:26:28,962 --> 00:26:29,962 Vacation. 667 00:26:31,214 --> 00:26:33,300 Double team! The double team! 668 00:26:33,592 --> 00:26:35,135 - Dude! - [guys laughing] 669 00:26:35,218 --> 00:26:37,846 What are you guys doing? Marquise! 670 00:26:37,929 --> 00:26:38,805 Huh? 671 00:26:38,888 --> 00:26:41,099 I'm just splashing with my bros. Splash bros. 672 00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:44,519 Okay, well, when you're done splashing with your bros, 673 00:26:44,603 --> 00:26:48,231 your girlfriend will be over here, in a bikini, all alone. 674 00:26:48,732 --> 00:26:50,567 - Don't do that, babe. - Don't do what? 675 00:26:50,650 --> 00:26:52,569 You know, every single time we go somewhere, 676 00:26:52,652 --> 00:26:54,654 you find some random bros to play with. 677 00:26:54,738 --> 00:26:57,115 Like your meditation bro, Josh from Ojai. 678 00:26:57,198 --> 00:26:59,075 Your yoga bro, Steven from Big Bear. 679 00:26:59,159 --> 00:27:00,535 I miss Steven so much. 680 00:27:01,077 --> 00:27:02,412 [man grunting] 681 00:27:02,537 --> 00:27:03,747 Wait a second. 682 00:27:04,289 --> 00:27:06,082 - Is Marquise bi? - [Chloe] What? 683 00:27:07,876 --> 00:27:10,128 'Cause that would connect a lot of dots for me. 684 00:27:10,545 --> 00:27:12,839 You think I'd be with him if he was into guys? 685 00:27:12,922 --> 00:27:15,050 Do you really think any girl would be cool with that? 686 00:27:15,508 --> 00:27:16,426 I would. 687 00:27:16,509 --> 00:27:17,844 No, you wouldn't. 688 00:27:17,927 --> 00:27:19,638 [laughing] You don't know what I would do. 689 00:27:19,721 --> 00:27:21,014 Yeah, I do. 690 00:27:21,222 --> 00:27:22,582 When you're sleeping with someone, 691 00:27:22,641 --> 00:27:25,644 you want them to be 100% satisfied with what you're bringing to the table. 692 00:27:26,186 --> 00:27:29,773 Chloe, bisexuality and monogamy are not mutually exclusive. 693 00:27:30,148 --> 00:27:32,400 - [laughs] - What? What's so funny? 694 00:27:32,484 --> 00:27:34,277 Oh, it's not funny, it's hilarious. 695 00:27:34,402 --> 00:27:37,030 Everything you know about sex, you learned from a TED Talk. 696 00:27:37,113 --> 00:27:39,407 Okay, Peggy Orenstein is a highly regarded... 697 00:27:39,491 --> 00:27:42,911 Okay, no. I am done being lectured on sex by a virgin. 698 00:27:49,793 --> 00:27:52,420 - Yo, what's up, dude? - Nothing. Everything's chill. 699 00:27:52,504 --> 00:27:53,880 - How's it going? - Good, good. 700 00:27:53,963 --> 00:27:56,025 I was actually gonna ask you if I could run to my room 701 00:27:56,049 --> 00:27:57,175 and grab some sunscreen? 702 00:27:57,258 --> 00:28:00,321 No, dude! What are you talking about? You're supposed to be watching Marquise! 703 00:28:00,345 --> 00:28:02,597 I'm sorry, I'm just heating up. I feel the sun. 704 00:28:02,681 --> 00:28:04,933 There's sunscreen over by the fucking toilet. It's... 705 00:28:05,183 --> 00:28:06,601 in a pump or some shit. 706 00:28:06,685 --> 00:28:08,478 I don't know what SPF it is. 707 00:28:08,561 --> 00:28:10,956 What the fuck are you talking about, dude? Just watch Marquise! 708 00:28:10,980 --> 00:28:12,148 Okay, yeah, no problem. 709 00:28:14,609 --> 00:28:16,212 [Kenya] Sometimes it seems like being white 710 00:28:16,236 --> 00:28:18,863 is like the hardest fucking thing in the world to be. 711 00:28:19,322 --> 00:28:20,657 Can't even be in the sun. 712 00:28:21,157 --> 00:28:24,452 Like, what kind of fucked up evolutionary trait is that? 713 00:28:25,036 --> 00:28:26,204 The sun? 714 00:28:27,247 --> 00:28:30,417 How are there so many of them? How've they lasted this long? 715 00:28:31,084 --> 00:28:32,085 On top? 716 00:28:32,502 --> 00:28:34,254 It's SPF 45, is that enough? 717 00:28:34,337 --> 00:28:37,173 Okay, yeah. No, this'll work. They didn't have anything for your face? 718 00:28:37,257 --> 00:28:38,967 What the fuck, man? Fuck your face! 719 00:28:39,050 --> 00:28:40,802 - No, no. Fuck my face. - This is important! 720 00:28:40,885 --> 00:28:42,321 - Yeah, no, I got this. - Oh, my God. 721 00:28:42,345 --> 00:28:43,430 I got... I got you. 722 00:28:44,139 --> 00:28:46,867 - Are you reading the ingredients? - No, no, not at all. No, it's just... 723 00:28:46,891 --> 00:28:49,394 - Just use it! - Okay, I'll use it. Yep. 724 00:28:50,812 --> 00:28:52,105 This isn't going to work. 725 00:28:52,939 --> 00:28:55,191 This is going to be Aruba all over again. 726 00:28:55,275 --> 00:28:58,236 [R&B playing] 727 00:29:01,948 --> 00:29:05,160 [Drea] For my family, day one had gone relatively smoothly. 728 00:29:05,577 --> 00:29:08,079 Dinner that night was the first time we'd gathered for a meal 729 00:29:08,163 --> 00:29:09,873 in probably six months. 730 00:29:10,373 --> 00:29:13,001 So my dad took the opportunity to make a toast, 731 00:29:13,084 --> 00:29:15,253 and by toast, I mean stand up 732 00:29:15,336 --> 00:29:18,131 and loudly remind us that he's the reason for all of this. 733 00:29:18,423 --> 00:29:20,467 [clinking] 734 00:29:21,050 --> 00:29:22,302 [Kenya] Thank you guys so much. 735 00:29:22,385 --> 00:29:25,680 Fuckin' love you guys, seriously. Just wanted to say a couple words. 736 00:29:27,307 --> 00:29:29,934 As I... I'm reminded as I look out 737 00:29:30,518 --> 00:29:31,770 over this warm 738 00:29:32,145 --> 00:29:33,313 Atlantic Ocean. 739 00:29:33,646 --> 00:29:35,732 This is South... we're in the South Pacific. 740 00:29:36,733 --> 00:29:38,026 It's the Pacific Ocean. 741 00:29:38,234 --> 00:29:39,652 Same thing. All I'm trying to... 742 00:29:39,736 --> 00:29:42,989 Not the same thing. It's two different bodies of water. 743 00:29:43,406 --> 00:29:44,449 Opposite. 744 00:29:45,074 --> 00:29:47,660 Right. The point I was trying to get at is Hawaii. 745 00:29:47,994 --> 00:29:50,914 You know, we are so close to Hawaii and it just makes... 746 00:29:50,997 --> 00:29:52,457 Not that close to Hawaii. 747 00:29:52,540 --> 00:29:54,876 Not very close at all to Hawaii. 748 00:29:55,418 --> 00:29:57,879 - [Kenya] Right, I... - [Joya] Same ocean, but... 749 00:29:57,962 --> 00:29:59,798 Beautiful, smart woman. You are right. 750 00:29:59,881 --> 00:30:01,201 Lawyer. That's why I married her. 751 00:30:01,257 --> 00:30:02,509 All I'm saying is Hawaii... 752 00:30:02,801 --> 00:30:05,094 birthplace of Barack Obama. 753 00:30:05,178 --> 00:30:06,530 - [Joya sighing] - [cell phone vibrating] 754 00:30:06,554 --> 00:30:08,114 [Kenya] That's what that reminds me of. 755 00:30:08,264 --> 00:30:11,392 And I think that, much like Barack, who is considered a hero... 756 00:30:11,476 --> 00:30:13,603 - Check it! - Whoa. 757 00:30:15,021 --> 00:30:17,357 - [Izzy] We're going to get that. - Yeah. Totally. 758 00:30:18,107 --> 00:30:19,107 Not you. 759 00:30:19,609 --> 00:30:23,112 Hey, we might need him to take the fall if we get busted. 760 00:30:23,196 --> 00:30:24,636 [Kenya continues toast indistinctly] 761 00:30:24,697 --> 00:30:26,699 I changed my mind. You can come. 762 00:30:27,158 --> 00:30:28,158 Sick! 763 00:30:29,160 --> 00:30:31,871 And what it makes me think about, when I think about Obama, 764 00:30:31,955 --> 00:30:33,248 is I start to reminisce, 765 00:30:33,540 --> 00:30:35,875 about what a great man he was. We all miss him. 766 00:30:35,959 --> 00:30:38,119 - [phone vibrating] - We miss him. I think about him... 767 00:30:39,337 --> 00:30:42,298 frolicking in those sugarcane fields, 768 00:30:42,632 --> 00:30:44,759 that beatific smile, you know, and I... 769 00:30:44,843 --> 00:30:46,094 [Peaches] Beatific smile? 770 00:30:46,177 --> 00:30:47,720 Barack has smoker's lip. 771 00:30:47,971 --> 00:30:50,598 Shit, that's why he was my president. 772 00:30:50,807 --> 00:30:55,019 You think I wasn't gonna vote for somebody who smoke Newports and blunts?[laughs] 773 00:30:55,395 --> 00:30:56,729 Y'all get it, right? 774 00:30:57,981 --> 00:30:59,983 [Kenya] First of all, Peaches, very funny. 775 00:31:00,066 --> 00:31:02,026 But if you had even woken up 776 00:31:02,527 --> 00:31:04,487 on voting day early enough to vote, 777 00:31:04,821 --> 00:31:07,574 I'm not sure that the ballot you cast would have counted 778 00:31:07,657 --> 00:31:09,534 because I'm pretty sure 779 00:31:09,617 --> 00:31:11,202 you're a felon. 780 00:31:11,286 --> 00:31:13,913 [Kenya] And secondly, that little outburst 781 00:31:13,997 --> 00:31:17,375 just earned you what we call a separate check. 782 00:31:17,458 --> 00:31:19,210 Waiter, she's on her own tonight. 783 00:31:19,294 --> 00:31:21,004 So, enjoy that. [clicks tongue] 784 00:31:21,087 --> 00:31:21,921 It's fine. 785 00:31:22,005 --> 00:31:26,009 Anyway, when I think about Barack, I remember Barack because I think that 786 00:31:26,509 --> 00:31:27,844 Barack was a hero. 787 00:31:28,636 --> 00:31:31,973 And, you know, you guys probably, because I'm a husband and father, 788 00:31:32,181 --> 00:31:33,391 think of me as a hero. 789 00:31:34,726 --> 00:31:36,978 At this point he'd had six Lava Flows. 790 00:31:37,312 --> 00:31:38,312 Minimum. 791 00:31:39,105 --> 00:31:40,607 But I'm just a man, 792 00:31:41,149 --> 00:31:44,152 and as a man who happens to be the provider... 793 00:31:44,611 --> 00:31:46,696 sole provider of this family. 794 00:31:46,988 --> 00:31:49,198 And also in family, you learn to tolerate 795 00:31:49,699 --> 00:31:50,742 family. 796 00:31:51,409 --> 00:31:52,869 And people who are not family 797 00:31:52,952 --> 00:31:55,204 and probably will never hopefully be, 798 00:31:55,288 --> 00:31:58,333 if God is a real thing in this world, family. 799 00:31:58,416 --> 00:31:59,459 [phone vibrating] 800 00:31:59,542 --> 00:32:00,542 [Kenya] But... 801 00:32:00,919 --> 00:32:01,961 Barack Obama... 802 00:32:02,086 --> 00:32:05,298 You know my man, Sean? He kinda looks like a young Junior Seau? 803 00:32:05,965 --> 00:32:07,967 He was telling me about a party the locals set up 804 00:32:08,051 --> 00:32:10,094 that's supposed to be dope. You wanna pull up later? 805 00:32:10,178 --> 00:32:12,615 Yeah, yeah, that sounds cool. We can just dip out after dinner. 806 00:32:12,639 --> 00:32:15,183 - I might try to get some cardio in first. - Okay. 807 00:32:15,516 --> 00:32:16,976 Where are we dipping out to? 808 00:32:17,060 --> 00:32:18,937 No, you are not dipping with us. 809 00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:20,939 What? Why? 810 00:32:21,022 --> 00:32:23,358 Because I'm not in the mood to babysit you tonight. 811 00:32:23,441 --> 00:32:25,818 Oh, you have to babysit me? 812 00:32:25,902 --> 00:32:27,904 Look, we're just all on different paths. 813 00:32:28,446 --> 00:32:29,446 Really? 814 00:32:29,572 --> 00:32:31,991 Because you're so grown-up and so mature? 815 00:32:32,367 --> 00:32:33,910 College forces you to grow up. 816 00:32:34,202 --> 00:32:35,036 [phone vibrating] 817 00:32:35,119 --> 00:32:38,456 But Barack, like your heroic dad, is just a man. 818 00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:42,377 And as a man, you learn very quickly that... 819 00:32:42,460 --> 00:32:43,378 [phone vibrating] 820 00:32:43,461 --> 00:32:45,505 - I'm sorry. Can you... - [Joya] Yeah. 821 00:32:46,339 --> 00:32:49,219 - I don't need to get that. I'm all good. - It's fine. They keep calling. 822 00:32:49,300 --> 00:32:50,620 - I'll get it. - No, please don't. 823 00:32:51,844 --> 00:32:53,972 Hey, girl, hey! Bula! 824 00:32:54,055 --> 00:32:56,265 [Kenya] Look, Lavette. We're in the middle of vacation. 825 00:32:56,349 --> 00:32:58,726 - Here we go. - Can you please call us back? 826 00:32:58,810 --> 00:33:00,228 I know you're on vacation. 827 00:33:00,311 --> 00:33:03,773 I just spent half the afternoon talking to the front desk manager 828 00:33:04,190 --> 00:33:05,566 begging him to hook you up. 829 00:33:05,650 --> 00:33:07,777 Why are you talking to our hotel manager for us? 830 00:33:07,860 --> 00:33:11,698 Do you think I would let my girl have some rinky-dink hotel room 831 00:33:11,781 --> 00:33:13,658 on the day of her book signing? 832 00:33:13,992 --> 00:33:15,368 - What? - Kenya, come on. Stop it. 833 00:33:15,451 --> 00:33:18,538 All right, Lavette. I'm just gonna call you back, okay? Bye. 834 00:33:24,502 --> 00:33:25,503 Book event? 835 00:33:26,004 --> 00:33:28,089 Please, don't do this right now. Okay? 836 00:33:28,172 --> 00:33:31,426 Don't do what? Act like you're the horrible person that you are? 837 00:33:32,593 --> 00:33:33,720 You're an asshole. 838 00:33:34,512 --> 00:33:37,098 - [Kenya] I'm the asshole? - Yeah. You're an asshole. 839 00:33:37,181 --> 00:33:38,181 Okay. 840 00:33:39,976 --> 00:33:42,895 [Drea] Remember when I said vacation was a powder keg? 841 00:33:43,563 --> 00:33:45,148 It was at that moment, 842 00:33:45,231 --> 00:33:47,817 war had officially been declared.