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<i>Previously on</i> Bob Hearts Abishola...

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"MaxDot Therapeutic Hosiery.

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Robert J. Wheeler, president."

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Hmm. "Therapeutic hosiery." Mm.

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Very fancy.

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He was actually quite nice.

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He said he didn't want to be a bother,

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and if I changed my mind,
"the ball is in my court."

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Oh, like in basketball.

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No, no, it's tennis.

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Ever seen how big this man is?

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He does not play tennis.

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- It's just a saying.
- What is?

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The ball in your court.
It means she can call him.

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Well, I'm not calling anybody.

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I have work, I have school,
I have my son.

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I have no time for balls.

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Well, there goes the second date.

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Auntie, Uncle,
can we speak privately, please?

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Don't worry. Uh, we are Team Bob.

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What is he doing here?

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We invited him for tea and biscuits

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to discuss whether a
match could be made.

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A match? I do not want a match.

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It's not about what you want.

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It's about what is good
for the whole family.

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Okay, it is decided.

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Abishola will have tea with
you on Tuesday afternoon.

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The only way I would
spend time with Abishola

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is if she wants to.

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Ooh. This is bad.

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Abishola?

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I will have tea with you.

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Are you sure?
'Cause I don't want you to do

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anything against your will.

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I said will have tea with you.
Stop talking.

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Oh, that's wonderful news.

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Your brother's grandson got accepted

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to the University of Nigeria.

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- Which grandson?
- Which grandson?

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Number 12.

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Oh. David.

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Good. Ooh. Ask her
to send us a bag of stockfish.

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You can get that at the supermarket.

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Oh, they don't sell the heads.
I like the heads.

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Okay. Please send stockfish.

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Make sure you wrap it properly.

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Last time, the suitcase smelled terrible

49
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and I had to tell the man at the airport

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that Tunde had a leg infection.

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You didn't have to tell him anything.

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We could have just left.

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Good morning, Auntie and Uncle.

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- Good morning, Abishola.
- Good morning.

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Yes, Abishola is doing very well.

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She finally met a man.

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Uh-uh. Who are you talking to?

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- My sister.
- Which one?

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The one who gave birth to you.

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Mommy, I did not meet anyone.

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Move away. This is my conversation.

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Between work and school,

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Abishola had no chance
of meeting somebody

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until I stepped in.

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You're welcome.

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His name is Bob, he's American
and he owns a big sock company.

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He was so honored to meet us
that he followed us to our home.

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Eh, after he caught you spying on him.

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I have already said you are welcome.

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Uh, Dele, the grown-ups are talking.
Go to school.

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- But I'm hungry.
- Be hungry for knowledge.

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Yes, he's handsome.

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Like Kevin James with a mustache...

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...only more orobo.

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Orobo? Bob is not that fat.

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Yes.

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Trust me, he's orobo.

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_

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So if I want to say
hello in her language...

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- E karo.
- E karo.

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No, no, no, e karo.

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Pretty sure that's what I said.

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Now, how do you say goodbye?

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- O dabo.
- O dabo. O dabo.

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O dabo, o dabo.
You know, I speak Mandarin.

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I did not know that.

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_

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Nice. Now I want Chinese for lunch.

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Okay, this is important.

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How do you say, "I'm sorry
your aunt and uncle forced you

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"to spend time with me,
but I really enjoyed myself

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and I'd like to do it again"?

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Ma binu iya iya re
ati egbon re fi agbara

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mu o lati lo akoko pelu mi,

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sugbon mo gbadun ara mi ati
Mo fe lati se e leekansi.

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Uh, w-what's that first word? Binu?

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It means, "I'm sorry."

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That's good. That's all I need.

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_

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So, how are things with
you and the sock king?

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There are no things.

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There is just tea.

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Very good.

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It's going very good.

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Every sock king needs a sock queen.

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Stop it, both of you.

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If I were to marry again...

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- You will.
- I won't.

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- You will. You wi...
- I won't. I won't.

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But if I were to marry again,

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it would only be to a Nigerian man.

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Only? That kind of narrows
down your options, doesn't it?

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Don't listen to her.
She has many options.

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Top of the list,
Nigerian man, same tribe.

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- Yoruba.
- Mm-hmm.

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Then Nigerian man, different tribe.

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- Igbo.
- Mm-hmm.

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Then other Africans.

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Except Tunisians and Egyptians.

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Obviously.

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Then Caribbean, then white,

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then African-American.

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- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.

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Wait, wait.

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So, a black man is last on your list?

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Below white men?

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You get it.

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I get that you full of crap.

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- Hmm?
- Huh-uh.

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All you Africans think
you better than us.

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- Well...
- Well, what?

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You don't make it easy for yourselves.

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- What's that supposed to mean?
- Oh, come on.

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Gangbangers, welfare stamps,
the baby mamas.

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You're just buying into
that racist propaganda

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you see on TV.

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There are more white people
on food stamps and welfare

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than black people.

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That's not what it says on the Fox News.

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- Which is fair and balanced.
- Mm-hmm.

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Okay, I'll tell you what.

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Next time I get an e-mail
from a Nigerian prince,

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you want me to assume it's one
of you heffas trying to scam me?

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Calm down, both of you. Heffa?
Who are you calling heffa?

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Kemi, Kemi, you are upsetting Gloria.

146
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You both upsetting Gloria.

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You think white folks see
a difference between us?

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To them, we all look the same.

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You get pulled over by a cop,

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he's not gonna see your
little ranking system.

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He's just gonna see this.

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We wouldn't get pulled over.

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We obey the traffic laws.

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_

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Hey, what are you doing there? Get away.

156
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Why are you reading about Nigeria?

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I said, get away.

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All right, all right.

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- You ever hear of privacy?
- Ah, calm down.

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It's not like there's any porn on there.

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- How do you know?
- I looked.

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Mom's browsing history is
more interesting than yours.

163
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So, why Nigeria?

164
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Don't worry about it.

165
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Ooh. Is it a charity thing?

166
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People buy a pair of socks,

167
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we give away a pair to a poor person?

168
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We're not doing that.

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You sure? We don't really
have to give anything away.

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Nobody checks.

171
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That's not happening.

172
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So, what's the deal, then?

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None of your business.

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We're only as sick as our secrets,
big brother.

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- Where'd you get that?
- Alcoholics Anonymous saying.

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Are you...?

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No, no, no. I just like
dating women in recovery.

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- Why is that?
- Less pressure.

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They hate themselves
before they sleep with me.

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Come on. What's the deal?

181
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Fine. I met somebody.

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In Nigeria?

183
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- No.
- Then where?

184
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In the hospital.

185
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That nurse you were looking for.

186
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- Yeah.
- Oh.

187
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So, she's Nigerian, then?

188
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Yeah.

189
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Just to be clear,
we're not talking African-American,

190
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we're talking, like, African-African?

191
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Or just African.

192
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Right.

193
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Looking at a map, where's Nigeria?

194
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Between Benin and Cameroon.

195
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Oh, sure, yeah. Now I know.

196
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By the way, you and her,
it'll never work.

197
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Why not?

198
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Bob. Bob. Bob.

199
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A bird may love a fish,

200
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but where will they
build a home together?

201
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Is that more words to live
by from women in recovery?

202
00:08:34,985 --> 00:08:37,269
Actually,
that's from Fiddler on the Roof.

203
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Which I saw

204
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'cause I was dating a Jewish girl

205
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who was also in recovery,
so, yeah, I guess.

206
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Hello, Richard.

207
00:08:50,117 --> 00:08:51,366
Hey, Abishola.

208
00:08:51,451 --> 00:08:52,951
How's it going with Bob?

209
00:08:53,003 --> 00:08:56,421
Huh... how do you know about Bob?

210
00:08:58,625 --> 00:09:00,509
My God.

211
00:09:04,131 --> 00:09:05,797
You told the bus driver?

212
00:09:06,850 --> 00:09:09,217
I told everybody.

213
00:09:09,303 --> 00:09:10,769
In this terrible world that we live in,

214
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people need to hear good news.

215
00:09:13,811 --> 00:09:16,024
You need to stop telling
people my business.

216
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- Okay, okay.
- Thank you.

217
00:09:20,147 --> 00:09:22,731
I put it on my Facebook.

218
00:09:22,816 --> 00:09:25,317
I got 75 likes.

219
00:09:25,369 --> 00:09:26,451
Take it down.

220
00:09:26,486 --> 00:09:28,620
Why? I'm excited for you

221
00:09:28,655 --> 00:09:30,789
and so are 75 people you don't know.

222
00:09:30,824 --> 00:09:33,792
I just need you to stop
talking and respect my privacy.

223
00:09:34,263 --> 00:09:35,877
Stop talking?

224
00:09:35,963 --> 00:09:37,295
As you wish.

225
00:09:42,533 --> 00:09:44,169
Don't be like that.

226
00:09:44,221 --> 00:09:47,806
Like what?
I'm just respecting your privacy.

227
00:09:47,841 --> 00:09:50,842
Mm. Richard,

228
00:09:50,894 --> 00:09:53,311
did you know that Kemi is single?

229
00:09:58,841 --> 00:10:00,915
_

230
00:10:02,856 --> 00:10:04,072
Working late?

231
00:10:04,157 --> 00:10:05,357
- Yup.
- Me, too.

232
00:10:05,409 --> 00:10:08,443
Thank God for caffeine
and Adderall, huh?

233
00:10:08,528 --> 00:10:10,195
You're still taking that stuff?

234
00:10:10,247 --> 00:10:13,615
Oh, yeah. It, uh, helps
with my attention deficit disorder.

235
00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:15,784
Well, I guess that's good,
but be careful,

236
00:10:15,869 --> 00:10:17,452
you don't want to start depending on it.

237
00:10:17,537 --> 00:10:19,671
I'm sorry, what?

238
00:10:19,706 --> 00:10:22,540
Nothing. I'll see you later.

239
00:10:22,626 --> 00:10:24,676
Oh, hey, Bob?

240
00:10:24,711 --> 00:10:26,928
You want to keep your
personal life personal,

241
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don't talk about it with Douglas.

242
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Aw, damn it. You're right. Stupid.

243
00:10:31,635 --> 00:10:35,103
And speaking of stupid,
are you out of your freaking mind?

244
00:10:35,188 --> 00:10:37,022
- What?
- Bob,

245
00:10:37,057 --> 00:10:38,890
you spent 12 years married to a woman

246
00:10:38,942 --> 00:10:40,475
who shared everything with you.

247
00:10:40,560 --> 00:10:42,611
I mean, you ate the same foods,

248
00:10:42,696 --> 00:10:44,112
you enjoyed the same movies,

249
00:10:44,197 --> 00:10:46,865
hell, you kind of looked the same.

250
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Not at the beginning.
She turned into me.

251
00:10:50,570 --> 00:10:54,372
Well, my point is, you still
couldn't make the marriage work.

252
00:10:54,408 --> 00:10:56,074
How do you think it's gonna go

253
00:10:56,126 --> 00:10:57,409
if you get involved with someone

254
00:10:57,494 --> 00:10:59,577
you have absolutely
nothing in common with?

255
00:10:59,663 --> 00:11:01,079
Well, did you ever stop to consider

256
00:11:01,164 --> 00:11:03,248
that maybe opposites attract?

257
00:11:03,300 --> 00:11:06,718
Baloney. Opposites avoid each other.

258
00:11:06,753 --> 00:11:07,969
They hate each other.

259
00:11:08,055 --> 00:11:11,256
They stab each other with steak knives.

260
00:11:12,105 --> 00:11:14,392
Feels like we should be talking
about your failed marriage.

261
00:11:14,428 --> 00:11:16,344
Why would you say that?

262
00:11:17,014 --> 00:11:18,847
Well, you stabbed your ex-husband

263
00:11:18,932 --> 00:11:20,649
in the ass with a steak knife.

264
00:11:21,768 --> 00:11:24,653
Like you've never made a mistake!

265
00:11:24,738 --> 00:11:27,405
- Good talk. Love you!
- Drop dead, Bob!

266
00:11:32,419 --> 00:11:34,389
_

267
00:11:37,994 --> 00:11:40,529
- E karo, Goodwin.
- E karo, Mr. Wheeler.

268
00:11:40,581 --> 00:11:42,932
- Have you seen your lady friend again?
- Not yet,

269
00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:45,167
but we have plans to have tea tomorrow.

270
00:11:45,202 --> 00:11:47,620
How do you say "tea" in her language?

271
00:11:47,705 --> 00:11:49,622
- Tii.
- Tii.

272
00:11:49,707 --> 00:11:51,206
Perfect.

273
00:11:51,259 --> 00:11:54,009
Look at me,
trying to date a woman from Nigeria.

274
00:11:54,045 --> 00:11:55,344
You are pressing the envelope.

275
00:11:56,621 --> 00:11:58,547
- E karo.
- E karo.

276
00:11:58,599 --> 00:12:00,599
Karo.

277
00:12:00,685 --> 00:12:02,635
E karo, Mr. Wheeler.

278
00:12:03,875 --> 00:12:04,968
_

279
00:12:05,143 --> 00:12:08,050
_

280
00:12:08,198 --> 00:12:09,456
_

281
00:12:09,477 --> 00:12:10,576
Hey, Mr. Wheeler.

282
00:12:11,327 --> 00:12:15,072
_

283
00:12:15,073 --> 00:12:17,310
_

284
00:12:19,737 --> 00:12:21,403
O dabo.

285
00:12:23,094 --> 00:12:25,198
_

286
00:12:27,244 --> 00:12:30,045
- Bob, got a minute?
- Yeah.

287
00:12:30,081 --> 00:12:31,797
I just spoke to Douglas.

288
00:12:33,116 --> 00:12:35,217
There is nothing to
be embarrassed about.

289
00:12:35,252 --> 00:12:36,552
I think it's wonderful.

290
00:12:36,587 --> 00:12:38,304
- Really?
- Absolutely.

291
00:12:38,389 --> 00:12:40,306
You have my complete support.

292
00:12:40,391 --> 00:12:42,174
Wow, thanks, Mom.

293
00:12:42,259 --> 00:12:44,226
You're welcome, honey.

294
00:12:45,852 --> 00:12:47,563
I don't know if I ever told you this,

295
00:12:47,598 --> 00:12:49,264
but I used to hang around the clubs

296
00:12:49,350 --> 00:12:51,400
back when Motown Records
was getting started.

297
00:12:51,435 --> 00:12:53,352
- Is that so?
- Oh, yeah.

298
00:12:53,437 --> 00:12:55,187
Of course,
that was before I met your father.

299
00:12:55,272 --> 00:12:57,940
There were a couple of
night spots in Detroit

300
00:12:58,025 --> 00:13:00,859
where you could spend time
with the actual musicians.

301
00:13:00,945 --> 00:13:03,996
Okay...

302
00:13:04,081 --> 00:13:06,448
Not to brag,
but your mom sang a little harmony

303
00:13:06,534 --> 00:13:09,118
with two Temptations and a Pip.

304
00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:12,204
Good story. Thanks.

305
00:13:12,289 --> 00:13:15,290
You remember that song
"You Can't Hurry Love"?

306
00:13:16,504 --> 00:13:17,559
None of them did.

307
00:13:21,197 --> 00:13:22,965
Hello.

308
00:13:27,811 --> 00:13:30,291
_

309
00:13:32,299 --> 00:13:36,445
Oh, yeah,
that is one very funky gallbladder.

310
00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:37,980
Sponge stick.

311
00:13:39,533 --> 00:13:41,116
Thank you.

312
00:13:41,152 --> 00:13:45,287
So, Abishola, I hear there's
a new fellow in your life now.

313
00:13:46,824 --> 00:13:47,873
Where did you hear this?

314
00:13:47,958 --> 00:13:49,658
Oh, a little bird told me.

315
00:13:49,710 --> 00:13:50,876
Forceps.

316
00:13:50,961 --> 00:13:53,829
Does this little bird
have a Facebook page?

317
00:13:53,881 --> 00:13:56,331
Yes, and a Snapchat.

318
00:13:58,719 --> 00:14:00,219
Oh, my God.

319
00:14:00,304 --> 00:14:02,721
You know,
my brother married a white girl.

320
00:14:02,807 --> 00:14:06,558
She became a Hindu, wore a sari,
did everything right.

321
00:14:06,644 --> 00:14:08,644
It was still a disaster.

322
00:14:08,679 --> 00:14:10,979
I am not marrying anyone.

323
00:14:11,015 --> 00:14:13,565
Well, if you do,
don't count on your family

324
00:14:13,651 --> 00:14:15,517
to provide much in the way of support.

325
00:14:15,569 --> 00:14:17,186
To this day, my mother refuses

326
00:14:17,271 --> 00:14:19,488
to be in the same room with Betty Jo.

327
00:14:20,547 --> 00:14:22,024
I got you,

328
00:14:22,076 --> 00:14:24,076
you slippery bastard.

329
00:14:24,161 --> 00:14:25,449
Hot potato.

330
00:14:27,198 --> 00:14:29,448
Okay, let's sew him up.

331
00:14:33,504 --> 00:14:34,753
I hope you're happy.

332
00:14:34,839 --> 00:14:36,038
How can I not be?

333
00:14:36,123 --> 00:14:39,041
I'm making green Jell-O
for hundreds of sick people.

334
00:14:39,835 --> 00:14:40,843
Because of you,

335
00:14:40,878 --> 00:14:44,047
everybody in this hospital
now knows about me and Bob.

336
00:14:44,082 --> 00:14:47,349
I'm sorry. I did as you asked,
I took down the Facebook page,

337
00:14:47,384 --> 00:14:49,101
and I returned the GoFundMe money

338
00:14:49,186 --> 00:14:50,886
for your bachelorette party.

339
00:14:53,274 --> 00:14:54,723
Mm-mm. More sugar.

340
00:14:55,893 --> 00:14:58,310
Well, people are still talking.

341
00:14:58,395 --> 00:15:02,030
Because they are rooting for you.
People love love.

342
00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:04,533
There is no love.

343
00:15:05,583 --> 00:15:06,785
Give it time.

344
00:15:06,871 --> 00:15:11,290
I didn't really love my husband
until after he was dead.

345
00:15:11,375 --> 00:15:13,959
I know you want the best for me.

346
00:15:14,044 --> 00:15:16,245
I'm asking, please leave it alone.

347
00:15:17,263 --> 00:15:20,833
Okay, consider it left and alone.

348
00:15:20,918 --> 00:15:22,251
Thank you.

349
00:15:25,923 --> 00:15:28,423
I can't believe this is what
you are feeding the patients.

350
00:15:28,476 --> 00:15:32,427
Are you joking? This is
the healthiest thing on the menu.

351
00:15:33,849 --> 00:15:35,843
_

352
00:15:53,450 --> 00:15:56,451
- Mum?
- Hmm?

353
00:15:56,504 --> 00:15:57,953
Are you okay?

354
00:15:58,005 --> 00:16:00,372
Yes, uh, just tired.

355
00:16:00,457 --> 00:16:03,208
- Can I ask you a question?
- Make it quick.

356
00:16:03,294 --> 00:16:05,594
Are you going to marry the sock man?

357
00:16:08,465 --> 00:16:10,432
Of course not. Where did you hear that?

358
00:16:10,467 --> 00:16:12,384
Cousin Yemisi sent me
a Facebook message.

359
00:16:12,469 --> 00:16:14,853
Ah, they are talking about it in London?

360
00:16:14,939 --> 00:16:17,773
Amsterdam. They're on holiday.

361
00:16:17,808 --> 00:16:21,360
Oh, my God.
Stay off the Facebook, please.

362
00:16:21,445 --> 00:16:23,061
It's also on Twitter.

363
00:16:23,147 --> 00:16:25,564
Stay off all of it.

364
00:16:25,649 --> 00:16:26,899
Okay.

365
00:16:28,310 --> 00:16:30,035
What should I tell my dad?

366
00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:33,655
Your father has another
family and he lives in Lagos.

367
00:16:33,741 --> 00:16:35,040
This is none of his business.

368
00:16:35,125 --> 00:16:37,709
Yes, Mum.

369
00:16:37,795 --> 00:16:39,711
Have you been talking to him about it?

370
00:16:39,797 --> 00:16:41,163
Not anymore.

371
00:16:45,263 --> 00:16:48,420
E karo, Abishola. Here's your tii.

372
00:16:48,505 --> 00:16:50,806
Your tii. Your tii.

373
00:16:50,841 --> 00:16:52,424
- Hello, Bob.
- Hey!

374
00:16:52,509 --> 00:16:56,845
Uh, e karo, Abishola. Here's your tii.

375
00:16:56,897 --> 00:16:59,898
Yes, e karo, but I cannot stay.

376
00:16:59,984 --> 00:17:02,851
- Why not?
- I have decided

377
00:17:02,903 --> 00:17:05,320
that it is not right for us to be...

378
00:17:07,191 --> 00:17:11,526
I do not know what we are,
but we cannot be... it.

379
00:17:11,579 --> 00:17:13,362
I don't understand.

380
00:17:13,414 --> 00:17:16,782
You are a very nice man, and I am sorry,

381
00:17:16,867 --> 00:17:18,333
but this is what has to happen.

382
00:17:23,374 --> 00:17:25,374
O dabo.

383
00:17:36,075 --> 00:17:38,183
_

384
00:17:38,218 --> 00:17:40,190
_

385
00:17:41,023 --> 00:17:45,542
_

386
00:17:47,607 --> 00:17:49,916
_

387
00:17:55,182 --> 00:17:58,366
_

388
00:17:58,367 --> 00:18:00,039
_

389
00:18:00,944 --> 00:18:02,838
_

390
00:18:03,870 --> 00:18:05,132
_

391
00:18:06,749 --> 00:18:07,928
_

392
00:18:10,603 --> 00:18:12,654
_

393
00:18:14,291 --> 00:18:15,763
_

394
00:18:16,842 --> 00:18:18,550
- _
- _

395
00:18:18,551 --> 00:18:21,115
_

396
00:18:21,787 --> 00:18:22,816
_

397
00:18:22,817 --> 00:18:25,328
_

398
00:18:26,163 --> 00:18:27,518
_

399
00:18:29,598 --> 00:18:32,766
_

400
00:18:33,260 --> 00:18:34,683
_

401
00:18:35,405 --> 00:18:36,536
_

402
00:18:36,537 --> 00:18:38,602
_

403
00:19:05,814 --> 00:19:07,891
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