1 00:00:00,333 --> 00:00:03,406 Previously on Bob Hearts Abishola... 2 00:00:03,474 --> 00:00:05,708 That is a sexy pharmacist. 3 00:00:06,678 --> 00:00:08,277 I'd like to take him twice a day 4 00:00:08,346 --> 00:00:10,146 on an empty stomach. 5 00:00:10,896 --> 00:00:11,897 Kemi. 6 00:00:11,916 --> 00:00:13,349 Please, eh? Don't. 7 00:00:13,418 --> 00:00:14,617 Don't what? Be happy for you? 8 00:00:14,686 --> 00:00:17,219 I am just here to pick up a prescription. 9 00:00:17,288 --> 00:00:19,789 You can lie to yourself, but don't lie to me. 10 00:00:21,084 --> 00:00:22,623 _ 11 00:00:25,248 --> 00:00:27,510 Okay. On the one side we have the Bob. 12 00:00:27,545 --> 00:00:29,365 On the other side we have Chukwuemeka. 13 00:00:29,434 --> 00:00:31,934 - We don't need to do this. - We shouldn't need to do this, 14 00:00:32,003 --> 00:00:33,736 but this way you will know for sure. 15 00:00:33,805 --> 00:00:36,272 - I know for sure. - You are wrong. 16 00:00:36,341 --> 00:00:37,773 Let's start simple. 17 00:00:37,842 --> 00:00:39,709 Nigerian. That's easy. 18 00:00:39,777 --> 00:00:42,078 Check mark for Chukwuemeka. 19 00:00:42,146 --> 00:00:43,579 One to nothing. Hmm. 20 00:00:43,648 --> 00:00:45,414 - This is a stupid game. - Mm-hmm. 21 00:00:45,483 --> 00:00:48,411 Handsomeness. Another check mark for Chukwuemeka. 22 00:00:48,446 --> 00:00:50,095 Ooh. Perfectly shaped head. 23 00:00:50,130 --> 00:00:51,887 Double check. 24 00:00:51,956 --> 00:00:53,389 Bob is handsome. 25 00:00:53,458 --> 00:00:55,458 Compared to what? 26 00:00:55,526 --> 00:00:58,194 Okay, well, what about "I like him"? 27 00:00:58,262 --> 00:01:00,196 What about "he's not boring"? 28 00:01:00,264 --> 00:01:02,231 And what about "he makes me laugh"? 29 00:01:02,300 --> 00:01:03,733 Write those checks down. 30 00:01:04,386 --> 00:01:05,568 I will give you the laugh one. 31 00:01:05,636 --> 00:01:08,404 The other ones, not important. 32 00:01:08,473 --> 00:01:10,873 Funny. Check. 33 00:01:10,942 --> 00:01:13,409 Bob is still losing very badly. 34 00:01:14,059 --> 00:01:15,444 Eh, he's a winner to me. 35 00:01:17,668 --> 00:01:18,681 So that is it. 36 00:01:18,749 --> 00:01:20,249 - You have made your choice. - I have. 37 00:01:20,318 --> 00:01:21,417 - You are sure. - Yes. 38 00:01:21,486 --> 00:01:22,718 - It is Bob. - Yes. 39 00:01:22,787 --> 00:01:23,953 - Not Chukwuemeka. - Yes! 40 00:01:24,021 --> 00:01:25,187 Okay. 41 00:01:26,624 --> 00:01:28,958 Huh. Where are you going? This is not your stop. 42 00:01:29,026 --> 00:01:30,326 I have an errand to run. 43 00:01:30,395 --> 00:01:32,595 - What errand? - Abishola, 44 00:01:32,663 --> 00:01:35,464 I stay out of your business, you stay out of mine. 45 00:01:39,137 --> 00:01:40,403 Next? 46 00:01:40,471 --> 00:01:42,438 E karo, Chukwuemeka. 47 00:02:06,633 --> 00:02:08,824 Yeah, I can see how that could be an issue. 48 00:02:08,893 --> 00:02:09,925 Who's he talking to? 49 00:02:09,994 --> 00:02:11,160 Family lawyer. 50 00:02:11,228 --> 00:02:14,463 Same guy we use for my little problem? 51 00:02:14,532 --> 00:02:16,832 No, that was a criminal lawyer. 52 00:02:17,526 --> 00:02:19,468 Makes you feel superior to me, doesn't it? 53 00:02:19,537 --> 00:02:22,838 Well, between the two of us, I'm still welcome in Canada. 54 00:02:23,672 --> 00:02:24,973 All right, I'll talk to her. 55 00:02:25,008 --> 00:02:26,075 Thanks again. 56 00:02:26,143 --> 00:02:27,176 What's going on? 57 00:02:27,244 --> 00:02:28,844 Mom never made a will. 58 00:02:28,913 --> 00:02:30,012 That's no good. 59 00:02:30,081 --> 00:02:31,180 No, it is not. 60 00:02:31,248 --> 00:02:32,848 If she died, what would happen? 61 00:02:33,174 --> 00:02:35,551 Speaking for myself, I'd be heartbroken. 62 00:02:35,619 --> 00:02:36,652 Goes without saying. 63 00:02:36,721 --> 00:02:38,921 What else would happen? 64 00:02:39,512 --> 00:02:41,757 Well, for starters, we might have to sell the company 65 00:02:41,826 --> 00:02:43,993 to pay the taxes on the company. 66 00:02:44,061 --> 00:02:45,094 That's not fair. 67 00:02:45,377 --> 00:02:46,528 You should call the IRS 68 00:02:46,597 --> 00:02:47,663 and tell them that. 69 00:02:47,732 --> 00:02:50,265 There's no need to talk to me like I'm a child. 70 00:02:50,334 --> 00:02:51,734 Then stop talking like one. 71 00:02:51,802 --> 00:02:53,736 "Stop talking like one." 72 00:02:53,804 --> 00:02:54,870 What's the big deal? 73 00:02:54,939 --> 00:02:57,840 So we tell Mom to make a will. 74 00:02:57,908 --> 00:02:59,041 Are you volunteering? 75 00:02:59,110 --> 00:03:01,510 - Sure. Why not? - Great. 76 00:03:01,579 --> 00:03:03,879 Go tell our mother, who's recovering from a stroke, 77 00:03:03,948 --> 00:03:06,882 that she has to make plans for when she's dead. 78 00:03:06,951 --> 00:03:09,752 Well, for one thing, I wouldn't say "dead." 79 00:03:09,820 --> 00:03:10,886 And what would you say? 80 00:03:10,955 --> 00:03:12,988 I don't know, something more poetic, 81 00:03:13,057 --> 00:03:15,324 like, "shuffling off the mortal coil." 82 00:03:15,393 --> 00:03:17,426 Did you just come up with that? 83 00:03:17,495 --> 00:03:19,995 - Shakespeare. - Oh, yeah. 84 00:03:20,064 --> 00:03:21,073 He's good. 85 00:03:22,199 --> 00:03:24,066 Well, go ahead, then. Go tell Mom 86 00:03:24,135 --> 00:03:27,069 she needs to make some plans before she shuffles. 87 00:03:27,138 --> 00:03:28,537 Fine. 88 00:03:31,976 --> 00:03:34,209 Okay, you called my bluff. I don't want to. 89 00:03:34,278 --> 00:03:36,845 That's what I thought. I'll take care of it. 90 00:03:37,706 --> 00:03:40,616 So the "mortal coil" is, like, your body? 91 00:03:40,684 --> 00:03:41,717 Yeah. 92 00:03:41,786 --> 00:03:44,453 That's very cool. 93 00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:47,790 Can we talk? 94 00:03:47,858 --> 00:03:50,959 Well, it's not like I can run away. 95 00:03:51,656 --> 00:03:53,929 Hey, I owe you an apology. 96 00:03:53,998 --> 00:03:55,197 Really? For what? 97 00:03:55,266 --> 00:03:57,166 I saw this thing on the news 98 00:03:57,234 --> 00:03:59,668 about baby powder causing cancer. 99 00:03:59,737 --> 00:04:00,969 Yeah, so? 100 00:04:01,038 --> 00:04:03,539 When you were little, I used that stuff every day. 101 00:04:03,607 --> 00:04:06,575 Dipped you in it like you were a powdered doughnut. 102 00:04:07,272 --> 00:04:08,677 So, sorry. 103 00:04:08,746 --> 00:04:10,112 Eh, you didn't know. 104 00:04:10,181 --> 00:04:12,147 Now, the smoking when you were pregnant, 105 00:04:12,216 --> 00:04:14,116 that's something you knew about. 106 00:04:14,185 --> 00:04:17,352 What can I tell you? I didn't want a big baby. 107 00:04:17,421 --> 00:04:20,355 Clearly didn't stunt your growth. 108 00:04:21,992 --> 00:04:24,126 Thanks for making this easier. 109 00:04:25,130 --> 00:04:26,895 I was just talking to Goldfischer. 110 00:04:26,964 --> 00:04:28,130 Our Jew lawyer? 111 00:04:28,199 --> 00:04:29,199 - Mom! - What? 112 00:04:29,266 --> 00:04:30,275 He says it. 113 00:04:30,334 --> 00:04:32,334 Listen to my phone messages. 114 00:04:32,403 --> 00:04:36,238 "Hi. It's Arnie Goldfischer, your favorite Jew lawyer." 115 00:04:36,307 --> 00:04:38,874 - He can say it; you can't. - Hey, 116 00:04:38,943 --> 00:04:41,810 I was at his kid's bar mitzvah. Gave him 500 bucks. 117 00:04:41,879 --> 00:04:45,214 The little pisher never sent me a thank-you card. 118 00:04:45,771 --> 00:04:48,817 - Still can't say it. - All right! 119 00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:52,454 He has informed me that despite his best efforts, 120 00:04:52,523 --> 00:04:54,890 you have refused to make out a will. 121 00:04:54,959 --> 00:04:57,793 Really? You want to talk about this now? 122 00:04:57,862 --> 00:05:01,897 Look at me. I'm like a marionette with a broken string. 123 00:05:02,626 --> 00:05:05,868 I know it's an uncomfortable subject, but we would have a hard time 124 00:05:05,936 --> 00:05:10,005 holding on to this business if you were to suddenly... 125 00:05:10,074 --> 00:05:12,407 shuffle off your mortal coil. 126 00:05:14,411 --> 00:05:15,978 Shakespeare. 127 00:05:16,046 --> 00:05:17,179 Nice. 128 00:05:18,551 --> 00:05:22,084 So if I were to write up this will, what do you think would be fair? 129 00:05:22,152 --> 00:05:23,719 Split up the company equally 130 00:05:23,787 --> 00:05:25,821 between you, Christina and Douglas? 131 00:05:25,890 --> 00:05:27,155 Well, I mean, yeah, traditionally, 132 00:05:27,224 --> 00:05:28,824 that would be the way to go. 133 00:05:28,893 --> 00:05:30,659 But you got to take into account 134 00:05:30,728 --> 00:05:34,296 the reality of the current management structure. 135 00:05:34,365 --> 00:05:35,464 Oh, just spill it. 136 00:05:35,533 --> 00:05:36,899 Douglas and Christina are dead weight. 137 00:05:36,967 --> 00:05:39,268 You need to give me control of the company. 138 00:05:39,336 --> 00:05:41,537 Attaboy. 139 00:05:41,605 --> 00:05:43,539 All right, let me think on it. 140 00:05:43,607 --> 00:05:45,007 What's to think about? 141 00:05:45,075 --> 00:05:46,408 Bob... 142 00:05:46,477 --> 00:05:49,378 while my children may not be equal, 143 00:05:49,446 --> 00:05:51,680 I love them equally. 144 00:05:52,534 --> 00:05:54,850 Well, that's a beautiful sentiment. 145 00:05:54,919 --> 00:05:56,218 Oh, good, you believe me. 146 00:05:57,764 --> 00:05:59,519 Now go call Goldfischer 147 00:05:59,554 --> 00:06:01,690 and tell him to come by next week. 148 00:06:01,759 --> 00:06:04,359 Unless it's one of his holidays. 149 00:06:11,780 --> 00:06:13,648 _ 150 00:06:15,306 --> 00:06:18,240 How you feel about Puerto Rican cops? 151 00:06:18,309 --> 00:06:19,341 Excuse me? 152 00:06:19,410 --> 00:06:20,909 My husband's partner just got divorced, 153 00:06:20,978 --> 00:06:23,278 and he's looking to get back on the horse. 154 00:06:24,315 --> 00:06:26,348 And I would be the horse? 155 00:06:27,551 --> 00:06:30,352 Only if you like grown men with braces. 156 00:06:30,421 --> 00:06:33,088 On his teeth or his legs? 157 00:06:33,157 --> 00:06:36,258 His teeth. He was a thumb-sucker as a child. 158 00:06:36,327 --> 00:06:37,526 He sounds quite wonderful, 159 00:06:37,595 --> 00:06:39,895 but I'm trying to make it work with Bob. 160 00:06:39,964 --> 00:06:43,231 No hurry. I'm guessing he'll be single for a while. 161 00:06:43,946 --> 00:06:45,167 - Hello. - Hey. 162 00:06:45,235 --> 00:06:46,602 Were you able to run your errands? 163 00:06:46,670 --> 00:06:47,679 What? 164 00:06:47,738 --> 00:06:48,804 Oh, yes, yes. 165 00:06:48,872 --> 00:06:51,206 He's also a year away from retirement, 166 00:06:51,275 --> 00:06:54,276 so you'd get a pension and a Winnebago. 167 00:06:54,345 --> 00:06:57,245 Again, thank you, but I'm sticking with Bob. 168 00:06:57,314 --> 00:06:58,647 That reminds me. 169 00:06:58,716 --> 00:07:00,382 Since you are no longer interested in Chukwuemeka, 170 00:07:00,451 --> 00:07:03,085 what would you think if I set him up with somebody else? 171 00:07:03,153 --> 00:07:06,254 Why would you do that? He's so boring and arrogant. 172 00:07:06,323 --> 00:07:07,789 Yes, you are right. But maybe there's 173 00:07:07,858 --> 00:07:10,192 a woman out there who can see past those flaws. 174 00:07:10,260 --> 00:07:12,561 Someone with a lot of love to give 175 00:07:12,630 --> 00:07:15,664 and enough frequent flyer miles to take him to Aruba. 176 00:07:17,267 --> 00:07:18,467 Are you interested in him? 177 00:07:18,535 --> 00:07:21,303 Me? No. I was thinking of somebody else. 178 00:07:21,372 --> 00:07:22,404 Kemi. 179 00:07:22,472 --> 00:07:24,272 Well, maybe. 180 00:07:24,341 --> 00:07:25,507 I haven't given it much thought. 181 00:07:25,576 --> 00:07:27,175 Either way, I wouldn't do anything 182 00:07:27,244 --> 00:07:28,844 without talking to you first. 183 00:07:28,912 --> 00:07:30,946 If it's somebody else, I don't care. 184 00:07:31,015 --> 00:07:32,681 And if it is me? 185 00:07:34,551 --> 00:07:37,486 To be honest, I don't think I'll feel comfortable with that. 186 00:07:37,554 --> 00:07:39,488 Yes, of course. Good. 187 00:07:39,556 --> 00:07:41,123 And you have to be honest. 188 00:07:41,191 --> 00:07:42,691 Honesty is best. 189 00:07:45,829 --> 00:07:47,663 It is me. 190 00:07:47,731 --> 00:07:48,797 - I knew it. - There it is. 191 00:07:48,866 --> 00:07:50,175 Calm down, everybody. 192 00:07:50,233 --> 00:07:51,800 Nothing has happened yet. 193 00:07:51,869 --> 00:07:53,669 - Did he ask you out? - He did. 194 00:07:53,737 --> 00:07:55,570 But I told him I didn't want to upset you 195 00:07:55,639 --> 00:07:56,938 and I would talk to you first. 196 00:07:57,007 --> 00:07:58,874 - It will not upset me. - You said it would. 197 00:07:58,942 --> 00:08:01,143 I said it would make me uncomfortable. 198 00:08:01,211 --> 00:08:04,680 You said that, but your face was upset. 199 00:08:04,748 --> 00:08:07,616 Well, if you're asking my permission, I say no. 200 00:08:07,685 --> 00:08:08,884 You are my best friend. 201 00:08:08,952 --> 00:08:10,619 It would be too strange. 202 00:08:10,688 --> 00:08:12,721 Okay. Well, then that is the end of it. 203 00:08:12,790 --> 00:08:14,923 Yes, eh? That is the end of it. 204 00:08:18,495 --> 00:08:20,796 Is not actually the end. 205 00:08:20,864 --> 00:08:22,364 Oh, Mother Mary! 206 00:08:22,433 --> 00:08:23,865 You agreed to go out with him? 207 00:08:25,069 --> 00:08:26,168 So you lied to me. 208 00:08:26,236 --> 00:08:29,204 Uh-uh. I was slow in telling you the truth. 209 00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:31,907 Now I am upset. 210 00:08:37,881 --> 00:08:40,482 How you feel about Puerto Rican cops? 211 00:08:41,666 --> 00:08:43,583 _ 212 00:08:45,923 --> 00:08:47,723 Christina! 213 00:08:47,791 --> 00:08:49,191 Come in here! 214 00:08:49,259 --> 00:08:51,026 Aw, damn. 215 00:08:56,166 --> 00:08:57,933 Get a move on! 216 00:08:59,903 --> 00:09:01,470 Is everything okay? 217 00:09:01,538 --> 00:09:02,904 No. Come on in. Close the door. 218 00:09:06,577 --> 00:09:08,143 What's going on? 219 00:09:09,179 --> 00:09:11,046 I don't know if Bob told you, 220 00:09:11,115 --> 00:09:13,381 but I am drawing up a will. 221 00:09:13,450 --> 00:09:16,051 Oh, Mom, no, I-I don't want to talk about that. 222 00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:18,120 You're gonna live a long, long time. 223 00:09:18,188 --> 00:09:20,756 I can't imagine a world where you're not a part 224 00:09:20,824 --> 00:09:22,524 - of my every day... - Shut up. 225 00:09:23,827 --> 00:09:24,960 Before I die... 226 00:09:25,028 --> 00:09:26,795 Can we please use a different word? 227 00:09:26,864 --> 00:09:29,164 Honey, I just said "shut up." 228 00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:33,535 Before I die, I want to know 229 00:09:33,604 --> 00:09:37,139 the company that your father and I built is in good hands. 230 00:09:37,207 --> 00:09:39,041 You mean Bob? 231 00:09:39,109 --> 00:09:40,142 I mean you. 232 00:09:40,210 --> 00:09:42,144 - What? - You heard me. 233 00:09:42,212 --> 00:09:44,813 You want me to run the company? 234 00:09:44,882 --> 00:09:47,249 Oh, Mom, I-I don't think I'm ready. 235 00:09:47,317 --> 00:09:48,817 You're not. 236 00:09:49,939 --> 00:09:51,987 But with the time I have remaining, 237 00:09:52,055 --> 00:09:54,256 I could groom you for the job. 238 00:09:54,324 --> 00:09:55,791 - Really? - Really. 239 00:09:55,859 --> 00:09:57,459 Sweetheart, 240 00:09:57,528 --> 00:10:00,262 I see a lot of me in you. 241 00:10:00,330 --> 00:10:03,799 I feel a lot of you in me. 242 00:10:03,867 --> 00:10:07,736 So we just need to get you ready to be a leader. 243 00:10:07,805 --> 00:10:09,471 - Okay. - A boss. 244 00:10:09,540 --> 00:10:11,173 - Great. - It's not gonna be easy. 245 00:10:11,241 --> 00:10:13,775 You have to do exactly what I say. 246 00:10:13,844 --> 00:10:14,976 Of course. 247 00:10:15,045 --> 00:10:17,312 For starters, you want people to respect you, 248 00:10:17,381 --> 00:10:19,447 you need to respect yourself. 249 00:10:19,516 --> 00:10:21,683 So no more whoring around. 250 00:10:21,752 --> 00:10:24,500 Oh, Mom, you can't say that. 251 00:10:24,535 --> 00:10:26,188 That's called slut-shaming. 252 00:10:26,256 --> 00:10:27,989 Then stop being a slut. 253 00:10:28,058 --> 00:10:29,324 And for God's sake, 254 00:10:29,393 --> 00:10:31,393 no more dating musicians. 255 00:10:31,461 --> 00:10:33,495 From now on, you only go out 256 00:10:33,564 --> 00:10:35,699 with guys who are capable of taking care of you, 257 00:10:35,734 --> 00:10:37,582 not the other way around. 258 00:10:37,617 --> 00:10:39,968 Would a deejay be considered a musician? 259 00:10:40,037 --> 00:10:42,370 - Yes. - Rats. 260 00:10:42,439 --> 00:10:43,672 So, do we have a deal? 261 00:10:43,740 --> 00:10:45,941 You do exactly as I tell you, 262 00:10:46,009 --> 00:10:48,476 and in my will, I will make you 263 00:10:48,545 --> 00:10:51,613 majority shareholder and president 264 00:10:51,682 --> 00:10:53,782 of MaxDot Therapeutic Hosiery. 265 00:10:53,851 --> 00:10:56,585 What about Bob and Douglas? 266 00:10:56,653 --> 00:10:58,286 This has to stay between you and me. 267 00:10:58,355 --> 00:11:00,789 They don't need to know till after I'm gone. 268 00:11:01,625 --> 00:11:03,725 You'll never be gone in my heart. 269 00:11:04,761 --> 00:11:06,494 Okay, great. 270 00:11:06,563 --> 00:11:08,597 Now, 271 00:11:08,665 --> 00:11:12,100 before we talk about your clown makeup, 272 00:11:12,169 --> 00:11:15,136 I need you to run over to my house. 273 00:11:15,205 --> 00:11:18,373 And in my nightstand, next to my bed, 274 00:11:18,442 --> 00:11:20,375 is a... 275 00:11:20,444 --> 00:11:22,878 let's call it a "back massager." 276 00:11:22,946 --> 00:11:25,914 Check the batteries and bring it to me. 277 00:11:25,983 --> 00:11:29,351 If your back is hurting, I can work on it for you. 278 00:11:30,314 --> 00:11:32,287 No, you really can't. 279 00:11:33,824 --> 00:11:34,856 Now go. 280 00:11:35,769 --> 00:11:37,659 I just want to thank you for this opportunity 281 00:11:37,728 --> 00:11:39,094 and for believing in me... 282 00:11:39,162 --> 00:11:41,029 Go! 283 00:11:45,602 --> 00:11:47,035 Hey, Siri. 284 00:11:47,104 --> 00:11:49,104 Call Douglas Wheeler. 285 00:11:52,127 --> 00:11:53,913 _ 286 00:12:03,784 --> 00:12:04,924 Really? 287 00:12:04,992 --> 00:12:06,892 You are being very foolish. 288 00:12:08,195 --> 00:12:10,996 I'm just going to keep talking until you talk back. 289 00:12:13,958 --> 00:12:16,802 All these people will know our business. 290 00:12:19,106 --> 00:12:20,806 Okay, then. 291 00:12:20,875 --> 00:12:24,009 Yes, I should've asked you first about dating Chukwuemeka, 292 00:12:24,078 --> 00:12:25,711 but I didn't think you'd care. 293 00:12:26,664 --> 00:12:28,447 You were afraid I would say no. 294 00:12:29,984 --> 00:12:31,917 I was afraid you'd say no. 295 00:12:31,986 --> 00:12:33,052 Is anybody sitting there? 296 00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:35,521 She's sitting there. Are you blind? 297 00:12:39,293 --> 00:12:40,859 Look at it from my viewpoint. 298 00:12:40,928 --> 00:12:43,429 There is a single Nigerian man with a good job 299 00:12:43,497 --> 00:12:44,997 and a 32-inch waistline. 300 00:12:45,874 --> 00:12:48,801 Yes, he's from the Igbo tribe, and that is unfortunate, 301 00:12:48,869 --> 00:12:50,636 but he's still Nigerian. 302 00:12:50,705 --> 00:12:53,505 Which, in Detroit, is nothing to blow your nose at. 303 00:12:54,875 --> 00:12:56,342 You went behind my back. 304 00:12:56,410 --> 00:12:58,510 What kind of friend does that? 305 00:12:59,665 --> 00:13:00,813 A lonely friend. 306 00:13:00,881 --> 00:13:02,948 A friend with a dead husband. 307 00:13:03,453 --> 00:13:04,994 She's really not sitting there. 308 00:13:05,052 --> 00:13:06,151 Yes, she is! 309 00:13:08,356 --> 00:13:10,022 Abishola, 310 00:13:10,091 --> 00:13:11,590 please forgive me. 311 00:13:11,659 --> 00:13:13,659 I don't care about who you date. 312 00:13:13,728 --> 00:13:15,561 I care about you lying to me. 313 00:13:18,065 --> 00:13:19,298 Where are you going? 314 00:13:19,367 --> 00:13:21,634 Oh, I have to run some errands. 315 00:13:24,405 --> 00:13:25,971 Now can I sit there? 316 00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:28,073 Do whatever you want. 317 00:13:32,380 --> 00:13:35,881 So, this guy you guys are fighting over, is he hot? 318 00:13:38,252 --> 00:13:40,185 I'll stand. 319 00:13:41,622 --> 00:13:43,989 So, we have an agreement? 320 00:13:44,058 --> 00:13:45,491 You go back to school 321 00:13:45,559 --> 00:13:47,326 and get a business degree. 322 00:13:47,395 --> 00:13:49,561 Yeah, absolutely. 323 00:13:49,630 --> 00:13:51,964 You don't sound very enthusiastic. 324 00:13:52,033 --> 00:13:56,702 I am, it's just... business is kind of boring. 325 00:13:58,020 --> 00:14:01,240 You want me to name you president of MaxDot, 326 00:14:01,308 --> 00:14:03,242 you need a business degree. 327 00:14:03,310 --> 00:14:05,411 Do I? Or do I delegate the business stuff 328 00:14:05,479 --> 00:14:07,546 to my underlings? 329 00:14:07,615 --> 00:14:09,715 You know what? Never mind. 330 00:14:09,784 --> 00:14:12,451 All right, I'll do it! 331 00:14:13,654 --> 00:14:15,721 And you can't keep smoking pot all the time. 332 00:14:15,790 --> 00:14:17,156 Just weekends and Wednesdays. 333 00:14:17,224 --> 00:14:19,224 - No more! - No more! 334 00:14:20,828 --> 00:14:22,561 And you find a nice girl. 335 00:14:22,630 --> 00:14:24,997 Get married, start a family. 336 00:14:25,066 --> 00:14:27,733 Okay, to be clear, that has always been my goal. 337 00:14:27,802 --> 00:14:32,404 Nice girls don't get paid $1,000 at the end of the date. 338 00:14:32,473 --> 00:14:33,539 How do you know about that? 339 00:14:33,607 --> 00:14:36,075 You charged it to the company. 340 00:14:36,143 --> 00:14:39,011 I had to send her a W-2. 341 00:14:40,017 --> 00:14:41,613 She still on the payroll? 342 00:14:41,682 --> 00:14:43,215 You want this or not? 343 00:14:43,284 --> 00:14:46,919 I do. And, yes, I will find a nice girl. 344 00:14:46,987 --> 00:14:49,221 But what about Bob and Christina? 345 00:14:49,290 --> 00:14:51,090 This has to stay between you and me. 346 00:14:51,158 --> 00:14:53,926 They don't need to know till after I'm dead. 347 00:14:53,994 --> 00:14:55,728 Which won't be for many, many years. 348 00:14:55,796 --> 00:14:58,030 Sure. 349 00:14:58,099 --> 00:14:59,331 Now, I don't know how much 350 00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:02,601 time I have left, so we need to get going. 351 00:15:02,670 --> 00:15:03,675 Fine. 352 00:15:04,711 --> 00:15:05,838 Hey, where you headed? 353 00:15:05,906 --> 00:15:07,906 To get a haircut. 354 00:15:09,810 --> 00:15:11,043 You wanted to see me? 355 00:15:11,112 --> 00:15:12,117 Yeah. 356 00:15:12,146 --> 00:15:13,779 I've made some decisions about my will, 357 00:15:13,848 --> 00:15:15,614 and I think you're gonna be very happy. 358 00:15:15,683 --> 00:15:16,815 Oh, okay. 359 00:15:16,884 --> 00:15:20,085 There's just a couple of things we need to go over. 360 00:15:22,407 --> 00:15:23,486 _ 361 00:15:23,557 --> 00:15:25,924 So, when it became clear to me 362 00:15:25,993 --> 00:15:27,760 that the future of pharmaceutical sales 363 00:15:27,828 --> 00:15:28,927 would be online, 364 00:15:28,996 --> 00:15:30,763 I began developing a website 365 00:15:30,831 --> 00:15:34,600 called AskChukwuemeka.com. 366 00:15:34,668 --> 00:15:37,102 And here is the part where I'm very clever... 367 00:15:37,171 --> 00:15:39,338 Abishola was right. 368 00:15:39,406 --> 00:15:41,440 He is so boring! 369 00:15:41,509 --> 00:15:43,175 ...over-the-counter and prescription drugs. 370 00:15:43,244 --> 00:15:46,445 Every time I recommend a drug, I would get a penny 371 00:15:46,514 --> 00:15:48,113 from each drug manufacturer... 372 00:15:48,182 --> 00:15:49,648 His head is perfect. 373 00:15:49,717 --> 00:15:51,936 If only it didn't have a mouth. 374 00:15:52,187 --> 00:15:54,319 ...if half of them ask my opinion, 375 00:15:54,388 --> 00:15:56,021 that is a lot of pennies... 376 00:15:56,090 --> 00:15:57,723 Maybe if I didn't listen to him, 377 00:15:57,792 --> 00:15:59,132 we could make a life together. 378 00:15:59,227 --> 00:16:00,993 ...even after taxes, 379 00:16:01,061 --> 00:16:03,295 this will make me a very wealthy man. 380 00:16:03,364 --> 00:16:05,597 Don't listen, don't listen, don't listen. 381 00:16:05,666 --> 00:16:08,934 I will use my great riches to help the people of Nigeria. 382 00:16:09,003 --> 00:16:11,103 Oh, dear God, stop talking! 383 00:16:11,172 --> 00:16:12,271 And maybe someday, 384 00:16:12,339 --> 00:16:14,173 there will be a movie on the Netflix 385 00:16:14,241 --> 00:16:16,008 that will tell the story of my humble... 386 00:16:16,076 --> 00:16:17,142 It's not working! 387 00:16:17,211 --> 00:16:19,178 I cannot drown him out! 388 00:16:19,246 --> 00:16:22,347 ...as a simple pharmacist at a CVS pharmacy... 389 00:16:22,416 --> 00:16:27,152 What have I done? I lost my best friend for this beautiful idiot! 390 00:16:27,221 --> 00:16:29,221 ...or the Hulu! 391 00:16:31,576 --> 00:16:33,874 _ 392 00:16:36,430 --> 00:16:37,729 Incoming. 393 00:16:37,798 --> 00:16:38,864 What? 394 00:16:38,933 --> 00:16:39,965 Oh. 395 00:16:40,739 --> 00:16:41,967 I just came to tell you 396 00:16:42,036 --> 00:16:45,003 that I realize our friendship is more important than any man. 397 00:16:45,909 --> 00:16:47,873 I will not be seeing Chukwuemeka again, 398 00:16:47,942 --> 00:16:49,842 even though we had a fantastic dinner last night 399 00:16:49,910 --> 00:16:52,678 and enjoyed each other's company very much. 400 00:16:52,746 --> 00:16:54,513 You are lying again. 401 00:16:56,283 --> 00:16:58,317 I am. 402 00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:00,052 I told you. 403 00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:02,521 There is a reason why a man that handsome 404 00:17:02,590 --> 00:17:04,590 still lives with his mother. 405 00:17:05,893 --> 00:17:07,593 I'm sorry I didn't believe you. 406 00:17:07,661 --> 00:17:08,760 Please forgive me. 407 00:17:08,829 --> 00:17:10,462 I only want to be your friend. 408 00:17:12,499 --> 00:17:13,932 I forgive you. 409 00:17:14,377 --> 00:17:16,768 We must make a vow never to let a man come between us. 410 00:17:16,837 --> 00:17:18,503 I will make that vow. 411 00:17:18,606 --> 00:17:20,706 - As will I. - Ah. 412 00:17:20,774 --> 00:17:23,508 This is such a relief. I hated being angry with you. 413 00:17:23,577 --> 00:17:24,743 I hated it, too. 414 00:17:24,812 --> 00:17:26,511 Especially after I realized 415 00:17:26,580 --> 00:17:28,847 the only reason Chukwuemeka went out with you 416 00:17:28,916 --> 00:17:30,883 was to make me jealous. 417 00:17:30,951 --> 00:17:33,385 Uh-oh. 418 00:17:33,454 --> 00:17:35,120 "The only reason"? 419 00:17:35,189 --> 00:17:36,455 Isn't it obvious? 420 00:17:36,523 --> 00:17:38,824 When he saw that I was not interested in him, 421 00:17:38,893 --> 00:17:41,760 then he suddenly started chasing my best friend. 422 00:17:41,829 --> 00:17:43,662 Oh, I see. 423 00:17:43,731 --> 00:17:46,598 So, he couldn't possibly be attracted to me for me. 424 00:17:46,667 --> 00:17:48,767 Uh, that is not what I'm saying. 425 00:17:48,836 --> 00:17:51,003 That is what you are saying. You know how I know? 426 00:17:51,071 --> 00:17:52,471 Because it's what you said. 427 00:17:53,707 --> 00:17:55,040 Is that not what she said? 428 00:17:55,109 --> 00:17:56,475 Don't put me in the middle. 429 00:17:56,543 --> 00:17:58,777 But that is what you said. 430 00:17:58,846 --> 00:18:01,580 And how do you know he wasn't using you to get to me? 431 00:18:01,649 --> 00:18:02,714 Don't be ridiculous. 432 00:18:02,783 --> 00:18:03,815 Why is it ridiculous? 433 00:18:03,884 --> 00:18:05,784 I am much more fun to be with than you. 434 00:18:05,853 --> 00:18:07,572 Fun or easier to sleep with? 435 00:18:08,222 --> 00:18:10,222 Uh-oh, again. 436 00:18:19,667 --> 00:18:20,832 E karo. 437 00:18:22,136 --> 00:18:24,369 Uh, I wanted to jump in. That's all I got. 438 00:18:25,989 --> 00:18:28,035 _ 439 00:18:31,238 --> 00:18:32,244 Karo. 440 00:18:32,313 --> 00:18:33,545 Karo. 441 00:18:33,614 --> 00:18:35,414 How is your mother today? 442 00:18:35,482 --> 00:18:36,915 She's all right. She's talking to 443 00:18:36,984 --> 00:18:38,684 our lawyer right now about her will. 444 00:18:38,752 --> 00:18:41,019 Oh, for when she takes her well-deserved rest. 445 00:18:41,088 --> 00:18:44,256 Now, see, that's a nice way to put it. 446 00:18:45,104 --> 00:18:47,259 Why are you eating lettuce with lemon juice? 447 00:18:47,328 --> 00:18:50,329 Apparently, I'm losing 60 pounds by next summer. 448 00:18:50,397 --> 00:18:51,697 Good for you. 449 00:18:51,765 --> 00:18:53,432 Yeah, good for me. 450 00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:55,534 How have you been? 451 00:18:55,602 --> 00:18:57,135 Not so great. 452 00:18:57,204 --> 00:18:59,671 I had a terrible fight with my friend Kemi. 453 00:18:59,740 --> 00:19:01,412 Aw, that's too bad. I like her. 454 00:19:01,643 --> 00:19:04,476 I like her, too, but she lied to me. 455 00:19:04,545 --> 00:19:05,644 About what? 456 00:19:07,047 --> 00:19:10,048 Um, a thing. 457 00:19:10,117 --> 00:19:11,650 "A thing"? Oh, that narrows it down. 458 00:19:11,719 --> 00:19:13,552 Can't you be a little more speci... 459 00:19:22,409 --> 00:19:24,160 _ 460 00:19:24,411 --> 00:19:26,855 A little wider. 461 00:19:26,924 --> 00:19:28,957 Thank you. 462 00:19:29,026 --> 00:19:30,526 Douglas? 463 00:19:31,829 --> 00:19:32,838 Lick. 464 00:19:36,767 --> 00:19:38,400 Very good. 465 00:19:38,469 --> 00:19:40,636 Bob, seal. 466 00:19:43,708 --> 00:19:44,774 Perfect. 467 00:19:44,859 --> 00:19:47,543 Now, who would like to run Mommy's last will 468 00:19:47,611 --> 00:19:48,910 and testament over to Goldfischer? 469 00:19:48,980 --> 00:19:50,679 - I'll do it. - That's okay, I got it. 470 00:19:50,748 --> 00:19:51,914 I should do it! 471 00:19:51,982 --> 00:19:54,216 I got this. 472 00:19:56,987 --> 00:19:59,855 I should've had a stroke years ago. 473 00:20:00,873 --> 00:20:02,820 _ 474 00:20:08,999 --> 00:20:10,632 I'm sorry. 475 00:20:10,701 --> 00:20:12,801 I'm sorry, too. 476 00:20:34,091 --> 00:20:35,123 Ready to go home? 477 00:20:35,192 --> 00:20:37,192 Yes. I just need to get my coat. 478 00:20:37,261 --> 00:20:38,494 Good. I will wait. 479 00:21:12,473 --> 00:21:14,613 - synced and corrected by sot26 - www.addic7ed.com