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Previously on
Bob Hearts Abishola...So-so you're divorced?
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No.But you're not together anymore?
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No, we are not.
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Well, what if you meet someone?
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Isn't that a problem?
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It is not a problem yet.
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I wasn't completely honestwith you yesterday.
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Really?
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Yes.
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When we first met
at the hospital,
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I did like you
a little bit.
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I knew it.
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I know you and I don'tmake any sense.
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We're like ice creamfor breakfast.
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Doesn't seemlike a good idea.
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But if it makes you happy,why not?
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Here, I broughtyour breakfast.
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Ice cream.
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Enjoy. I'm going
to check on your mother.
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Hey.
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Were you followed?
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Don't be ridiculous.
Of course not.
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Well, what did you
tell Abishola?
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That I was meeting
an old friend from college.
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If she asks,his name is Barry Lewis
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and he lives in Toledo
with his wife and two kids.
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Billy's eight and Sarah's five
and, boy, are they a handful.
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Why do you tell such
elaborate lies?
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Well, what did you tell Olu?
Nothing.
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I went into the bathroom
with a newspaper,
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then climbed down
the fire escape.
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We have 45 minutes before
she gets suspicious.
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It's weird, I've done this
before but I'm still nervous.
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Don't be.
You have a secret weapon.
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What's that?
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Me, Tunde.
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Don't worry, I will get youthe best engagement ring
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at a price that will makethe jeweler weep.
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I'm not really too worried
about price.
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If you're going
to say stupid things,
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go wait in the van.
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["Ifanla" by Sola Akingbola
playing]
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Good afternoon.
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I'm David.
How can I help you?
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I see your store is
empty of customers.
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So perhaps we'll be
helping you, David.
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Oh, okay.
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I'm looking for an engagementring and it doesn't have to be
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too ornate, you know?Simple, classy,
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beautiful-- just likethe woman I hope to marry.
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Well, congratulations, sir.
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Well, thanks, but let'swait until she says yes.
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Are we done with the chitchat?
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I have to walk out of the
bathroom in 22 minutes.
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How about that oneright there?
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Oh, good choice.
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This one is a beauty.
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1.5 carat,
princess cut,
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VVS1 clarity diamond
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on an 18-carat band.
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It's really nice.
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[clears throat]I mean, it's okay.
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And let those be the
last words you speak.
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How much?
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$11,995.
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[laughing]: Oh!
Did you hear that?
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Store with no customers?
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We'll give you eight.Oh...
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I-I couldn't possibly do that.
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I mean, I wish I could but...
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Then what is
your best number?
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[sighs]
I guess...
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I could knock it
down to 11-five.
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Nice meeting you, David.
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Let's go, Bob.Thanks.
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Hang on.
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Yes?
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How much were you
looking to spend?
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$8,000 for the ring
you are holding.
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Give me a minute.
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I'll have to call the owner.
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He's not calling anyone.
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This is just a part of the game.
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This isn't my first rodeo,
Tunde.
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Then act like it, cowboy.
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'Cause you are about
to get thrown from the bull.
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Okay, I can get you down
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to nine-five.
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Ah, David, I really wanted
you to make this sale
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so you could afford to move
from your parents' home.
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How did you know that?
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Because I have eyes, David.
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I have eyes.
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Come on.
W-Wait.
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Yes?
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What you got there,Bobby Socks?
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Oh, nothing.
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Come on.
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What did you put in your pocket?
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Was that a cookie?
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No, it's not a cookie.
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Remember when you were a kid
and I used to find
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cookie crumbs in your pocket?
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I don't do that anymore.
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All right then.If it's a flask,
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give Mama a hit.
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It's the middle of the day.
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That's why you use a flask.
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You want to see?
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Fine. Here.
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[gasps]
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Oh, my-- Oh.
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That's beautiful.
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I did good?
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You did really good.
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Figure I better make it officialbefore she wises up.
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Oh, good thinking.
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I was joking.What do you want me to say,
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sweetie? She's out of
your league, you know this.
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I do.
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Still, I'm so happy for you.
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Thanks.
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It'll be fun-- all
of us under one roof.
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"Us"?
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Well, you know how the
Nigerians are with family.
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We'll have Olu, Tunde,
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Dele...
probably a couple of cousins
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they stashed away somewhere.
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You just got
to make it
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clear to them I'm keeping
the downstairs bedroom.
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Y-You're not going
back to your house?
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Someday.
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You know, when you're
feeling better.
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I'll tell them
about the bedroom.
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The pepper soup
is wonderful.
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Thank you.
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So, where were you
this afternoon?
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What are you talking about?
I was here.
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Tunde!
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What?
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After you left the bathroom,
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I went in to change the towels.
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So?So...
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it did not smell the way it does
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after you have been there
for 45 minutes.
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You mean like something died?
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No one asked you.
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Were you betting money
on those skinny dogs again?
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00:06:54,870 --> 00:06:56,437
No.
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00:06:56,480 --> 00:06:58,134
And they are called greyhounds.
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Named after the bus.
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Tunde, tell me the truth.
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Where were you?
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We cannot discuss this
in front of the boy.
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Go away, boy.
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Tell me.
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Okay, but you must promise
not to tell Abishola.
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Of course.
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Good news!
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[indistinct chatter]
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I have a secret.
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But you have to promise
not to tell anyone.
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Then don't tell me.Me, either.
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Well, I have to
tell someone.
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Bob is going to ask me
to marry him.
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What?!Eh?
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How do you know?
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My uncle helped
him buy a ring.
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Oh, so he got a good price.
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Her uncle can get a discount
at the 99 Cents Store.
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This means we all have
to go to Nigeria.
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For the wedding?
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For the approval.
Bob has to
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present himself to
Abishola's family.
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If they don't like him,
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they can forbid the marriage.
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So are you telling me
if Bob rubs
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some second cousin the wrong
way, you can't marry him?
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No, I still can.
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00:08:17,561 --> 00:08:18,997
But she can never return
to Nigeria.
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Or Texas.Huh?
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I have family there.
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Poor sock man.
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He tries to give you
a diamond ring
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00:08:26,352 --> 00:08:28,746
and suddenly he's proposing
to a whole village.
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00:08:28,790 --> 00:08:30,966
It's not the
whole village.
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At most, it would
be 200 people.
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And that is the easy part.
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I also have to ask
my husband for a divorce.
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That's right. I always
forget you're still married.
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So get a divorce, big deal.
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It's not like America.
You cannot just order one
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at the drive-through
like Kentucky nuggets.
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If her husband doesn't
agree to the divorce,
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she will have to bribe
many officials and judges.
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Oh, so they're corrupt.
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No.
No.
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00:09:01,518 --> 00:09:03,651
[chuckles]
I'm going to make
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such a beautiful bridesmaid.
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00:09:05,653 --> 00:09:07,742
Why don't you wait
for me to ask you?
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00:09:07,785 --> 00:09:09,221
You're going to ask me.
Don't be stupid.
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00:09:13,443 --> 00:09:15,532
You look beautiful today.
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00:09:15,576 --> 00:09:17,447
Thank you, Bob.
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00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:20,189
It's weird how this bench
has kind of become
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ourbench.
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Actually, the plaque on the back
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says it's in loving memory
of Stanley Webber.
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00:09:26,674 --> 00:09:28,153
Yeah, well, it looks like
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00:09:28,197 --> 00:09:30,155
Stanley's all
done using it.
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00:09:30,199 --> 00:09:32,070
Anyway...
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This spot has become
very special for us.
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00:09:35,247 --> 00:09:37,772
Which is why I
thought it would be
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00:09:37,815 --> 00:09:39,730
the perfect place to...No.
214
00:09:39,774 --> 00:09:41,863
What?You do not have to do this.
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00:09:41,906 --> 00:09:43,299
You know?
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00:09:43,342 --> 00:09:44,387
Of course I know.
217
00:09:44,430 --> 00:09:47,172
Tunde.
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00:09:47,216 --> 00:09:50,132
Bob... [sighs]
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00:09:50,175 --> 00:09:54,049
You have no idea what marryinga Nigerian woman entails.
220
00:09:54,092 --> 00:09:57,400
The process will be very
stressful and unpleasant.
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00:09:57,443 --> 00:09:59,837
Because I'm a white guy?
222
00:09:59,881 --> 00:10:02,187
That does not help.
223
00:10:02,231 --> 00:10:03,841
Listen to me.
224
00:10:05,669 --> 00:10:06,844
[sighs]
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00:10:06,888 --> 00:10:09,325
I do not want to marry you,
226
00:10:09,368 --> 00:10:12,371
but I do want to spend
the rest of my life with you.
227
00:10:12,415 --> 00:10:13,677
Do you understand?
228
00:10:15,548 --> 00:10:16,854
Not really.
229
00:10:18,943 --> 00:10:21,511
Trust me,
it might not seem like it,
230
00:10:21,554 --> 00:10:22,860
but it's for the best.
231
00:10:26,255 --> 00:10:28,561
You want to at least
see the ring?Oh, no.
232
00:10:28,605 --> 00:10:31,173
I'm sure it's very beautiful,
but there is no need.
233
00:10:31,216 --> 00:10:32,348
Okay.
234
00:10:36,831 --> 00:10:39,050
This really isour special place.
235
00:10:39,094 --> 00:10:41,923
Yeah, on a dead guy's bench.
236
00:10:46,405 --> 00:10:47,972
What was she thinking?
This is craziness.
237
00:10:48,016 --> 00:10:50,453
It is so humiliating.
238
00:10:51,759 --> 00:10:53,151
I'm sorry you're upset.
239
00:10:53,195 --> 00:10:55,763
Tell me the proposal
word for word.
240
00:10:55,806 --> 00:10:58,156
Maybe then I'll know
what you did wrong.
241
00:10:58,200 --> 00:10:59,505
Because it could not
have been the ring.
242
00:10:59,549 --> 00:11:02,421
Tunde, relax. It's for the best.
243
00:11:02,465 --> 00:11:05,337
Bob, you may lie to yourself--
244
00:11:05,381 --> 00:11:06,425
in fact,
you are quite good at it...
245
00:11:07,905 --> 00:11:09,602
...but you may not lie to me.
246
00:11:09,646 --> 00:11:10,995
Well, what do you want me to do?
247
00:11:11,039 --> 00:11:12,301
You can't force someone
to marry you.
248
00:11:12,344 --> 00:11:13,650
No, you cannot.
249
00:11:13,694 --> 00:11:15,260
Unless you're willing to buy
250
00:11:15,304 --> 00:11:17,262
her father a Subaru Crosstrek.
251
00:11:18,786 --> 00:11:20,048
He's outdoorsy.
252
00:11:21,310 --> 00:11:22,790
I will talk to her.
253
00:11:22,833 --> 00:11:24,487
No. You've done enough.
254
00:11:24,530 --> 00:11:27,098
I thought I had,
but here we are,
255
00:11:27,142 --> 00:11:30,232
returning a ring I
worked so hard for.
256
00:11:33,844 --> 00:11:36,499
Hey, Bob,
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00:11:36,542 --> 00:11:37,761
I just heard.[sighs]
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00:11:37,805 --> 00:11:40,024
I don't want to talk about it.
259
00:11:40,068 --> 00:11:43,071
Oh, completely understandable.
260
00:11:43,114 --> 00:11:44,899
You remember when I went silent
261
00:11:44,942 --> 00:11:47,466
for a couple of monthsafter my divorce?
262
00:11:47,510 --> 00:11:49,033
Well, actually,you probably don't,
263
00:11:49,077 --> 00:11:50,687
because I didn'tcome to work.
264
00:11:52,210 --> 00:11:54,560
But I was at home, silent.
265
00:11:55,997 --> 00:11:58,477
Abishola and I
are still together.
266
00:11:58,521 --> 00:12:00,741
But she doesn't want
to marry you?
267
00:12:00,784 --> 00:12:02,655
She does not.
268
00:12:02,699 --> 00:12:04,353
Oh.
269
00:12:04,396 --> 00:12:06,921
[French accent]:
How very French of you.
270
00:12:06,964 --> 00:12:08,792
That's exactly
what we were going for.
271
00:12:08,836 --> 00:12:12,187
Well, I'm happy you're stillin a relationship.
272
00:12:12,230 --> 00:12:13,579
[chuckles]
273
00:12:13,623 --> 00:12:15,407
Would I like to be in one?
274
00:12:15,451 --> 00:12:18,410
Eh, more and more,I don't think so.
275
00:12:18,454 --> 00:12:21,370
I mean, if I need sex,
I can always go out and get it,
276
00:12:21,413 --> 00:12:26,897
but in the meantime,
I am flying solo and thriving.
277
00:12:26,941 --> 00:12:28,769
Good for you.Mm.
278
00:12:28,812 --> 00:12:30,553
You know,when you stop chasing
279
00:12:30,596 --> 00:12:34,122
after the relationship
that's gonna fix you,
280
00:12:34,165 --> 00:12:36,124
that's when you find outwho you really are.
281
00:12:36,167 --> 00:12:37,516
[chuckles]
282
00:12:37,560 --> 00:12:41,433
I am on a journey
of self-discovery
283
00:12:41,477 --> 00:12:43,958
that has nothing to do
with who I'm married to
284
00:12:44,001 --> 00:12:45,176
or who I'm dating.
285
00:12:46,874 --> 00:12:50,225
Alone and by myself,I am enough.
286
00:12:51,879 --> 00:12:53,054
[crying]:
I am a complete person,
287
00:12:53,097 --> 00:12:55,404
and I like me.
288
00:12:57,362 --> 00:12:59,625
I thought you came in here
to cheer me up.
289
00:12:59,669 --> 00:13:01,540
Best-laid plans, huh?
290
00:13:03,542 --> 00:13:04,630
Come here.
291
00:13:06,458 --> 00:13:08,025
It's okay.
292
00:13:08,069 --> 00:13:09,157
Hey, I just heard.
293
00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:11,202
Not a good time, Douglas!
294
00:13:12,638 --> 00:13:13,770
[door closes]
295
00:13:16,120 --> 00:13:18,470
This should help
with your discomfort.
296
00:13:18,514 --> 00:13:21,169
What are you giving him?Relax, she knows
what she's doing.
297
00:13:21,212 --> 00:13:22,648
She's a professional.
298
00:13:22,692 --> 00:13:24,955
Fine, swallow poison.What do I care?
299
00:13:24,999 --> 00:13:27,436
I hope it's poison.
300
00:13:27,479 --> 00:13:28,524
KEMI:
Hello.
301
00:13:30,178 --> 00:13:31,744
Ah, Mr. Clark,
you have barely eaten.
302
00:13:31,788 --> 00:13:33,355
Oh, he doesn't care for eggs.
303
00:13:33,398 --> 00:13:34,312
I can talk to the woman.
304
00:13:35,923 --> 00:13:38,360
I don't care for eggs.
305
00:13:38,403 --> 00:13:40,144
These are more powder than egg,
306
00:13:40,188 --> 00:13:41,798
but we can find you
something else.
307
00:13:41,842 --> 00:13:43,017
Don't bother, I'll be dead soon.
308
00:13:43,060 --> 00:13:45,193
Why would you say that?
309
00:13:45,236 --> 00:13:47,369
That's a horrible thing to say.
310
00:13:47,412 --> 00:13:49,197
Let me go, Doreen.
311
00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:51,503
Marry my brother like
you know you wanted to.
312
00:13:51,547 --> 00:13:53,941
MRS. CLARK:I went on one date with him
313
00:13:53,984 --> 00:13:55,725
43 years ago.
314
00:13:55,768 --> 00:13:56,944
What about Atlantic City?
315
00:13:56,987 --> 00:13:59,555
All right, two dates.
316
00:13:59,598 --> 00:14:01,035
ABISHOLA:
Uh, excuse me.
317
00:14:01,078 --> 00:14:02,950
I have other patients.
318
00:14:02,993 --> 00:14:05,126
Hand me that blanket.Are you cold?
319
00:14:05,169 --> 00:14:07,215
MR. CLARK:Yeah, I'm-I'ma little chilly.
320
00:14:07,258 --> 00:14:10,914
There. There, is that better?
321
00:14:10,958 --> 00:14:13,134
Yeah.
What were we talking about?
322
00:14:13,177 --> 00:14:15,136
Your brother and Atlantic City.
323
00:14:16,267 --> 00:14:18,269
Why are you making trouble?
324
00:14:18,313 --> 00:14:20,402
I want to hear
the end of the story.
325
00:14:20,445 --> 00:14:22,491
So do I.
326
00:14:24,275 --> 00:14:25,494
MRS. CLARK:
I don't know why
327
00:14:25,537 --> 00:14:27,626
you have to keep
bringing that up.
328
00:14:27,670 --> 00:14:30,107
She definitely picked
the wrong brother.
329
00:14:34,242 --> 00:14:35,721
What's wrong?
330
00:14:35,765 --> 00:14:37,593
Them.
331
00:14:37,636 --> 00:14:38,899
The constant bickering?
332
00:14:38,942 --> 00:14:40,639
I don't mind it.
333
00:14:40,683 --> 00:14:43,947
It's just noise.
Old, white noise.
334
00:14:43,991 --> 00:14:46,254
It is beautiful.
335
00:14:46,297 --> 00:14:48,212
I hope, many years from now,
336
00:14:48,256 --> 00:14:50,649
I can argue with Bobwhile he's dying.
337
00:14:50,693 --> 00:14:52,913
[laughs softly] It doesn't
have to stop when they're dead.
338
00:14:52,956 --> 00:14:55,698
Every time I go to the
cemetery to visit my husband,
339
00:14:55,741 --> 00:14:58,614
I shout at his headstone
until I am asked to leave.
340
00:15:04,533 --> 00:15:07,101
Ah, geez. What?
341
00:15:07,144 --> 00:15:10,365
We are here to congratulate youon the success of your proposal.
342
00:15:10,408 --> 00:15:12,845
Thank you, but she said no.
343
00:15:12,889 --> 00:15:14,412
Exactly. Well done, sir.
344
00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:17,720
You get to be with
a Nigerian woman
345
00:15:17,763 --> 00:15:19,243
without the inconvenience
of marriage.
346
00:15:19,287 --> 00:15:21,506
Yes, you are notpurchasing the cow
347
00:15:21,550 --> 00:15:22,986
because you arereceiving the milk
348
00:15:23,030 --> 00:15:25,467
for no money downand no monthly payments.
349
00:15:26,642 --> 00:15:28,165
And you don't have to worry
350
00:15:28,209 --> 00:15:30,124
about winning over the
cow's judgmental family.
351
00:15:30,167 --> 00:15:32,604
You don't even haveto live with the cow.
352
00:15:33,997 --> 00:15:35,956
Can we please stop
calling her a cow?
353
00:15:35,999 --> 00:15:37,609
Why?
354
00:15:37,653 --> 00:15:40,264
Cows are both beautifuland delicious.
355
00:15:40,308 --> 00:15:42,658
Guys, I, uh,
I appreciate you coming by--
356
00:15:42,701 --> 00:15:44,181
uh, you know, actually, I don't.
357
00:15:44,225 --> 00:15:46,401
Can we go back to work?GOODWIN:Of course.
358
00:15:46,444 --> 00:15:48,794
We are just happy it all out.Worked out?
359
00:15:48,838 --> 00:15:50,753
The woman I love
thinks marrying me is not worth
360
00:15:50,796 --> 00:15:52,363
the whole Nigerian rigamarole.
361
00:15:52,407 --> 00:15:53,799
"Rigamarole"?
362
00:15:53,843 --> 00:15:56,019
I-It's like "kerfuffle."
363
00:15:56,063 --> 00:15:59,196
Regardless, you area man to be admired.
364
00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:00,284
KOFO [laughs]:Our hats
365
00:16:00,328 --> 00:16:01,764
are off our heads to you.
366
00:16:12,818 --> 00:16:14,603
[phone chimes]
367
00:16:16,822 --> 00:16:19,042
Chukwuemeka is cookingfor me tonight.
368
00:16:19,086 --> 00:16:21,175
Oh, that is nice.
369
00:16:21,218 --> 00:16:24,743
We probably won't be having sexbecause the lasagna is so heavy.
370
00:16:24,787 --> 00:16:27,007
And also, becausehe's so unattractive
371
00:16:27,050 --> 00:16:29,270
when he tends to melike a woman.
372
00:16:29,313 --> 00:16:31,489
Mm.He wears that apron,
373
00:16:31,533 --> 00:16:34,188
and I dry up like a desert.
374
00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:39,062
Hey.
375
00:16:39,106 --> 00:16:40,542
Bob.
376
00:16:40,585 --> 00:16:41,934
You mind if I cut in?
377
00:16:41,978 --> 00:16:43,153
Be my guest.
378
00:16:43,197 --> 00:16:44,633
I'm getting nothingfrom this conversation.
379
00:16:45,938 --> 00:16:47,375
What are you doing here?
380
00:16:47,418 --> 00:16:50,204
Well, I had to talk to you.
381
00:16:50,247 --> 00:16:51,596
I need to talk to you, too.
382
00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:54,599
Listen, I know this whole
thing is a hassle, but...
383
00:16:54,643 --> 00:16:56,862
have you ever eaten crab legs?
384
00:16:56,906 --> 00:16:58,473
What?
385
00:16:58,516 --> 00:17:00,562
Well, they serve themwith a hammer.
386
00:17:00,605 --> 00:17:02,781
Y-You got to crack them openand pull them apart--
387
00:17:02,825 --> 00:17:04,740
it's a mess,but in the end,
388
00:17:04,783 --> 00:17:06,872
i-it's worth it.
389
00:17:06,916 --> 00:17:10,572
So much better than just gettinga pile of meat in a bowl.
390
00:17:10,615 --> 00:17:13,009
This is what you wanted
to talk to me about?
391
00:17:13,053 --> 00:17:15,403
No.
392
00:17:15,446 --> 00:17:17,579
I wanted to tell you I love you.
393
00:17:19,581 --> 00:17:21,539
I love you, too.
394
00:17:21,583 --> 00:17:23,541
This is going to be
395
00:17:23,585 --> 00:17:27,806
so hard, but when have things
ever been easy for us?
396
00:17:27,850 --> 00:17:29,243
What are you saying?
397
00:17:31,897 --> 00:17:33,725
Bob?
398
00:17:35,553 --> 00:17:36,946
Will you marry me?
399
00:17:39,035 --> 00:17:40,471
Yes.
400
00:17:43,692 --> 00:17:47,087
Have you idiots not seen
a single romantic comedy? Clap!
401
00:17:47,130 --> 00:17:48,566
[applause]
402
00:17:49,872 --> 00:17:52,222
Can I see the ring?
403
00:17:52,266 --> 00:17:53,745
Oh, you know,
I-I actually returned it.
404
00:17:53,789 --> 00:17:55,878
Uh, this was sort of
a spur-of-the-moment thing.
405
00:17:55,921 --> 00:17:57,227
There's no ring. Stop clapping.
406
00:17:57,271 --> 00:17:58,663
Stop clapping!
407
00:18:04,278 --> 00:18:05,366
This time, let me
do the talking.Fine, pay retail,
408
00:18:05,409 --> 00:18:06,889
see if I care.
409
00:18:06,932 --> 00:18:08,325
I'm not gonna pay retail.
410
00:18:11,328 --> 00:18:12,677
Oh, hi.
411
00:18:12,721 --> 00:18:14,331
Welcome back.
How can I help you?
412
00:18:14,375 --> 00:18:16,246
We're here for the ringI returned.
413
00:18:16,290 --> 00:18:18,074
Oh, sure.
414
00:18:19,336 --> 00:18:23,471
I believe we settled on $8,500.
415
00:18:23,514 --> 00:18:25,342
When it was new.
416
00:18:25,386 --> 00:18:29,738
Now... it's secondhand.