MICHELLE: Happy birthday, hon.
What'd you wish for?I don't want to say.
It'll jinx it.
Oh. So secretive. What a Scorpio.
Such a Scorpio.
MICHELLE: Oh, okay,
so... astrology, huh?
Mom...
No, it's just...
Well, you just all accept that stars
millions of miles away dictate all of your personality traits?
Uh, yeah.
DELIA: Okay. Yeah, no.
That-- Yeah, that's fine. That's fine.
I just don't know why you wouldn't turn to things like,
I don't know, DNA,
cultural influences, parenting.
Come on, Delia. It's fun.
Science is fun.
Your mom sounds like a Taurus.
Oh. [laughs]: That is so ridiculous.
You are a Taurus.
I know. It was a lucky guess.
[chuckling]It's silly, yes,
but what's the harm?
Oh, it's silly, huh?
Oh, well, then I guess you wouldn't care
if your new girlfriend
also happens to be a Scorpio.
How did you know that?
I didn't even know that.
U-Um...
Natalie created a fake social media profile.
What? You helped me!
Ugh. Okay, fine. Look, we only did it
so that we could check her out online without her knowing.
You-You've been cyberstalking my girlfriend?
We were just trying to make sure
that she wasn't some crazy black widow-type
who preys on single fathers with two daughters.
Oh, please.
But is she?
No. Though most serial killers are Scorpios.
WADE: Okay. All right,
now that we know she's not a murderer,
no more snooping on Shannon.
Anything I want to find out,
I'll do it the old-fashioned way.
I'll ask.
[chuckles] Okay.
You got it.Great.
Wait. Wait.
So, Scorpio is now?
So her birthday
must be soon.
Yes, it is.
[chuckling]
O-Okay. All right. Wh-When is it?
Oh, I thought you didn't want me to tell you anything else.
You know what, you're right. I don't.[chuckling]
Never mind.
Okay. Uh, damn it, just tell me.
In two days.
What-what? Two days?
Oh, my God.
What am I gonna do?
Indecisive. Ugh.
Typical Gemini.
It's not a thing!
♪
I can't believe Shannon's birthday is in two days.
I mean,
we just started dating.
I mean, if I go too big, will I scare her off?
If I go too small, what, am I-- am I a jerk?
I know. Big calendar days
at the start of relationships are minefields.
Mm-hmm.Birthdays, Valentine's Day,
Presidents' Day.
'Cause of the mattress sales.
Very intimate.
Why are we even having this conversation?
'Cause, technically, you don't know it's her birthday.
So, no gift. Problem solved.
Yeah, but I-I do know.
But you don't have to.
Yeah, but I do.
And if I didn't say anything, I would feel like I was lying.
I mean, do I... [sighs]
I don't know, do I take her out?
Do I get her a gift?
Okay, just talk to her.
Okay? Follow her lead.
If you're really listening, she'll...
That I can do.
I'm a very good listener.
Really?
'Cause I wasn't finished.[gasps]
Ooh...
See that?
[indistinct chatter]
[chuckles]: Hey.
What's this?Oh.
Well, last time you had one of these things,
I didn't bring anything for the non-birthday kids
and Kai bit me on the nose.
So, this time, I brought something for everybody,
virtually guaranteeing a bite-free celebration.
Yeah, let's say that.
I got to go get the sandwiches.
Knock yourself out.
Taylor children, I come bearing gifts!
Heck yeah!Yeah.
I got something special for everybody here.
For Zoe, I got a Frisbee.
Foqus? Isn't that the name of the company you work for?
Yeah. Yes, it is, Noah.
And that's what makes it special,
because you can't find it in stores. Hmm.
Catch, Zoe.
Okay. Really thought she'd catch that.
Um... Oh, for Kai,
I got a stress ball.
Because being five can just be so darn hard.
That also has your company's name on it.
I...
Here, Kai, catch.
Okay. Ben, you got to teach your kids how to catch.
They can catch.
And, uh,
last but not least--
and I know what it says on the side...
For Noah, a water gun.
Oh, wow.
Thanks, Forrest!
FORREST: Yeah.
I've never had one of these before!
FORREST: Cool!
That's great.Hey, Forrest,
did you just give Noah a water gun?
Yes, I did.Great.
Now I have to go take it away from him.
Take it away? Why?
What? He's-- He loves it.
There's a reason he's never had one before, Forrest.
It looks like a gun.
It doesn't look like a gun.
It's neon blue.
What am I missing here?
Uh, it's not about the color of the gun.
It's about the color of my son.
Yeah. It's not safe for him to be out waving that thing around.
He and I had that talk a long time ago.
Mm.
Hey, Noah.
Noah. Hey. Don't you run from me.
[sighs] God, I should've just taken the bite on the nose.
[sighs]: God.
How could I have been so stupid,
especially with everything that's going on in the world?
I'm sure it's not as bad as you think it was
or Michelle would've called me to talk about it.
Well, how can you be so sure about that?
Because we talk about everything.
[chuckles] You don't know if you talk about everything,
because you only talk about the stuff that you talk about.
That's absurd.Oh, is it? Is it?
Mm-hmm. Mm. Mm-hmm.Is it though? Is it absurd?
I thought it was absurd, too,
until I stepped into a big stinking pile
of my own white privilege.
Have I been making the same mistakes
with Michelle all these years?
[stammers] You may have.
[gasps] Oh! Ugh! Mm.
I just remembered. Every time I see her, I always go,
"Hey, girl! What's up?"
[groans]Oh!
Is that a microaggression?
Have I been microaggressing?
I don't know! I don't--
This is why I can't sleep![sighs]
[exhales]
Well, now I can't sleep!
Couple glasses of wine.Mm.
Low lighting.Mm.
A high-level game of footsie going on under the table.
Mr. Felton,
are you trying to seduce me?Yes.
And, I must say, I am very surprised
at how strong your feet are.[chuckles]
Well, I used to be a gymnast.
You were?Mm-hmm.
I-I didn't know that. You know, I also didn't know that y...Sorry.
Excuse me. Just one second. Hey, Orlando!
Could you take the bone broth off the fire for me?!ORLANDO: Sure.
Sorry. I'm sorry. It's-- You were saying something.
Uh, I-I didn't know you were a gymnast.
Yes. Yeah.Yeah.
And, uh... and I also didn't know
that, uh, your birthday was coming up so soon.
Smooth transition.
Okay. Okay, who snitched?
Was it Orlando?
My girls told me.
Right after they told me
they created a fake social media profile
to do some semi-innocent spying on you.
Oh, I'm impressed.
And a little bit frightened.
[exhales] No, they were just looking out for their daddy.
Okay, well, look, I-- just so you know,
I'm not really a birthday person.
I just like to stay at home
and let the day go by like it was any other day.
That makes sense, right?
Uh... sure. Yeah, totally.
Uh, got it loud and clear.Okay.
So...
um, can we rap?
Rap?Not-not... not rap.
Um, you know, talk,
but like in a... like in a real way.
Like real talk. Like, keeping it real.
Uh, no. Um...
Is this about the squirt gun?
Yes, it is. It is. It is. It is.
So, um, it just brought up some, um, uncomfortable feelings...
for me, and I just couldn't help but wonder,
have there been other microaggressions,
or macroaggressions, or mid-size aggressions,
which I guess are really just aggressions?
Uh, so, then, you know, but can we, you know, talk about it?
I hear you.Mm-hmm.
And we can do that.Okay.
But does it have to be right now?
No, no. No.
Whenever you're comfortable. Okay.
Could be now, could be.
Or could be later. Could be. I'm just... I'm easy, girl.
Friend. Friend.
Friend. Girlfriend.
That's worse. Yeah. Okay.
So maybe I'll just put it in an e-mail.
Looking forward to it.Okay.
[knocking]Hey, hey.
Hey, Wade. Girls, your dad's here!
Hey. So...
I listened to Shannon.
All right.Good. And?
And she hates birthdays.
She does?NATALIE: Hmm. That's odd.
She never mentioned that on Facebook.
Or Instagram.Or LinkedIn.
You have a profile on LinkedIn?
I'm a chief operating officer in Milwaukee.
[laughs]
Well, she knows you know.
And she said that you don't have to do anything.
Case closed.
Yeah. Yeah, case closed.Mm-hmm.
DELIA: Mm. Right.No.
No. No, case open.DELIA: No.
Yeah, it's open. No. No, it's open.
It's op-- I just opened it.
No, I-I can't let her do nothing for her birthday.
Yes, you can.Uh...
Because she said so explicitly.
No. I can't. It's sad. I...
No, I ha... I have to do something.
I have to. Come-come on, girls.
No, you think you do, but you don't!
Bye.
What a softy.Ugh.
Classic Gemini.
Oh, you people.
Astrology people.
I meant astrology people.
I meant astrology people. You know I meant astrology people.
Shannon will love a plant. I mean, everybody loves a plant.
It's thoughtful, but not extravagant.
And, hey, what, I'm just a... I'm just a plant guy, right,
just dropping off a plant on a day
that happens to be her birthday.
I mean, it's the perfect non-gift gift.
Yeah, why didn't I just give Noah a plant?
Because he's 11. Stop beating yourself up.
God, I just didn't know, man.
I just didn't know you can't give a water gun
to a B-L-A-C-K boy.
Why did you spell "Black"?
I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know where the line is anymore,
and I don't want to screw anything else up.
You'll be fine. Ben's our friend.
I work in HR. [laughs]
I train people in implicit bias
and respecting others.
I thought I was woke.
But my blind spot was thinking that I didn't have a blind spot.
Yeah. It's tough.
It's like when I realized
that Ben won't even go for a walk without his I.D.
Of course. He might get stopped.
Yeah.Oh, wow.
Wait. How can you be more woke than me?
You drive a pickup truck full of dirt.
It's potting soil, and you shouldn't judge people
by the kind of car they drive.
Oh. You're right. You're right.
Whoa. Hey, hey, look at this!
A key lime tree.
She works with food, I work with plants. This is both.
And maybe I'll even get a pie out of the deal.
Damn. Maybe if I had put as much thought into my gifts,
instead of just randomly grabbing them out
of my office swag closet,
I wouldn't have messed things up with Ben.
You know what? Ben'll be fine.
If I were you, I'd try to make it up to Noah.
That kid holds a grudge.
[knocking]
Hey, Ben... my friend.
Hey.Um...
you know, I was thinking.
It must be awful to have to tell your kids
that-that they can't have something
that other kids can have.
Thanks?And, uh, you know, I know I can't go back in time,
and-and keep my ignorance from doing the damage that it did,
but I can look to the future and try to heal the rift
that I caused between you and your boy.
So many words, Forrest.Yeah, hold this for a second.
Hey, Noah, come down here for a second!
Your dad got you something!
What the hell, man?! Get out of here with this thing!
[shushing]
Is that a Nintendo Switch?
I don't know, don't ask me. I didn't get it, your dad did.
Don't ask me.
Every mean name I called you yesterday,
I take them all back.
Aw, that's so sweet.
Mean names? What mean names?
Oh, what do you have there?
My father's love, Mama. My father's love.
How and why does our son have a new video game?
Well, uh, because I'm rededicating myself. To what?
To exploring our differences.
This must be about that water gun.
See, you told her.
I-I knew it was a big deal. I knew it.
It wasn't a big deal in the way
that you're making it a big deal.
Well, any time you take a toy away
from a child, it's a big deal.
But if you're serious about rededicating yourself,
it's gonna take a whole lot more than...
You know what?
I'm gonna stay out of this one.
'Cause I just had this talk last week with my study group,
and after Zoe's gymnastics,
and I'm only halfway through Delia's mile-long
"how can I help you?" e-mail.
I am exhausted.
My Black hurts.
Did she just say...
her back hurts or her Black hurts?
B-L-A-C-K.
I knew you had to spell it.
Oh, boy. Come with me. We need to talk.
You're breaking up with me, aren't you?
[sighs heavily]
This better be a stripper, otherwise, you guys
don't know me at all.
Oh, hello.[loud chatter]
I know this looks bad.
This is not what it looks like. I mean, yes, it is,
it's a party.You don't have to explain, honestly.
I-I shouldn't have come, really.
It's-- Oh, uh, this is-- This is for you.
Uh, thank you. Thanks.
But-but please don't go.
MAN: Shannon, shots!
Would you... would you come in?
Please. I feel terrible.
No, really, it's-it's okay.
ERIN: I'm drinking your shot, bitch!
Oh, one drink, okay? One drink.
Please, so I can explain.
Okay. Okay.
Yeah, uh, one-one drink.
Okay. Thank you, thank you. Come on, come on, come on.
[exhales sharply]
You bought Noah a $300 gaming system.
$350... with the extended warranty.
I-I got that because he's so clumsy.
You're doing too much, man.
I don't think I'm doing enough.
I mean, tell me,
what books can I read, what organizations can I join?
I want to do better.
But this, what you're doing now, this isn't better.
Come on, man, you're putting all your guilt on me,
because you want me to make you feel better
about the things I have to deal with.
I-I don't know if I'd put it exactly like that, but...
Forrest, I love you, and I know you mean well,
but I cannot do your work for you.
I know it's hard out there for Black people,
but I didn't think it was like that for you.
Why not? Because I know you.
Oh, so you think the struggle with racial injustice
only applies to the Black people you don't know.
Apparently I did, yeah.
Okay, I couldn't help but overhear...
Screw it, I was eavesdropping.
Now, this type of thing might be new to you,
but this is all we've ever known.
It's our life every single day.
Do you know how often I-I am followed around a store,
or somebody touches my hair without my permission?!
Ooh, don't get me started.
I was about to get started.
Don't get started, babe.
[whispers]: I'm glad she didn't get started.
You really want to know what you can do?
Yes. Listen.
Listen. Yeah. Great.
Ah, good, good, good. Listen.
Mm. Listen...
to...
Me! Right.
Black people. Black people.
And believe us.
Because we get told that we're imagining things
when we talk about our own experiences.
Yeah. Or that when we protest, we shouldn't.
Or that we're doing it wrong.
Even though that is the only way
anything has ever changed for us.
[exhales sharply] I believe you.
Thank you.
Because I've got a lot on my plate right now.
Lately, I've been really busy, taking away toys from my kids.
Oh, man, too soon.
[laughing]
If you do the work, I will be right here with you,
because you're my friend.
You know what, Forrest,
there is one thing you can do for us.
But you can't take it.
It was a gift from my dad.
Uh, yeah, um, about that.
You see, I lied. It was from me.
So I have to suffer because you lied?
Yeah. Yeah.
I'm sorry, I got to go.
Wade, here you go. All right,
please let me explain.Shannon,
it's okay. [sighs]
Look, I know. I-I should have taken a hint.
You don't want me here, and that's-that's totally cool.
Is that what you think is going on?
Well, isn't it?
Hey, guys.
This is Wade. ERIN: Hey, Wade.
Oh, my God. Hey, hey, it's Wade.
It's the guy that Shannon's been dating
and refuses to shut the hell up about.
ERIN: Well, turn around so we can see
if that ass is half as amazing as Shannon swears it is.
Okay, don't do that. Don't do that.
This is why I lied to you.
I mean, it's so early on in this... thing we're doing,
and I didn't want you to feel pressure.
I mean, it's, you know, a big party,
and my knucklehead friends would be poking on you.
And I just-- I didn't want to scare you away.
Wow.
I-I totally get it.
You do?
Boy, wait till you meet my friends.
[chuckles] Um, so you're not scared away?
Uh... No, no. I don't scare that easy.
Look, I-I don't know what this is yet,
but I know that I like you,
and I think about you.
And I just wanted you to know that
on your birthday or-or any other day.
I like the key lime tree.
I'm gonna make you a pie, obviously.
Oh, well, that was my secret agenda.
Yeah, I know. I know.Clearly.
[chuckles] I, uh...
I better get home to the girls. Why? No.
Well, I didn't know that there was a party going on.
Oh, oh, okay. Okay, bye. Okay. Bye-bye.
ERIN: There it is!
Walk that around.
Come on, ladies, you're better than that.
No, they're not. They're not.
ERIN: Show it, baby! Show it to me, baby!
[trilling]
[all shouting, clamoring]
COLEMAN: Dollar bills, yes!
ERIN: I've got a whole bunch in my purse, baby.
COLEMAN: Wait, come back.ERIN: It's burning a hole in my pocket. Ow!
Michelle. I just wanted to tell you
that I'm having my book club read White Fragility,
and I just really want to get your take on it.
Why would I read that?
What? Oh, oh, you must.
It is, like, so eye-opening.
Each page, I'm like, what?
Okay, we're gonna talk.Good. Because I have so many things
I want to talk out with you, I just...
You know what, this time I'll talk
and you can listen.
Of course.
Mm-hmm.Okay, that's a good idea.
So much better.
Can't be it. Oh!I don't know...
So, she didn't invite you to the party
becauseshe likes you too much?Apparently.
[scoffs] That's what passes for game these days?
And yeah, man, sure, you've got a great ass.
Thank you. You're welcome.
I mean, literally, you could be a butt model.
It's fantastic. I mean, I would love to just
bounce a quarter off it.Whoa.
But cheering is gratuitous, right?
GRACE: Hey, Dad?
Where you going? Hey.
Shannon just DM'd us on our fake Instagram.
Did she? What did she say?
"Dear Grace and Natalie,
"thank you for telling your father about my birthday.
I love my key lime tree."
Ah.She had to get the last word.
How Scorpio of her.
Oh, stop it. Stop.
There's nothing wrong with Scorpios; Scorpios are amazing.
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