1
00:00:05,225 --> 00:00:07,585
Alright, Bill, see ya.
2
00:00:07,610 --> 00:00:09,179
- Later, buddy.
- Have a great weekend.
3
00:00:09,204 --> 00:00:10,510
What?
4
00:00:10,703 --> 00:00:12,078
Have a great week...
5
00:00:12,103 --> 00:00:14,359
Wait, hold on. It's... It's Friday?
6
00:00:14,384 --> 00:00:16,339
Yeeeeeah.
7
00:00:17,392 --> 00:00:18,679
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
8
00:00:18,704 --> 00:00:20,062
This can't be.
9
00:00:20,087 --> 00:00:21,382
But... why not?
10
00:00:21,407 --> 00:00:23,296
You don't have kids.
11
00:00:23,524 --> 00:00:25,453
When there's no school...
12
00:00:26,121 --> 00:00:27,882
there's no childcare.
13
00:00:28,419 --> 00:00:29,757
Bummer.
14
00:00:29,782 --> 00:00:31,039
You don't understand!
15
00:00:31,064 --> 00:00:32,859
The weekend is worse than the week!
16
00:00:32,884 --> 00:00:35,164
Is someone filming this?!
Human resources?!
17
00:00:35,189 --> 00:00:36,335
Ken!
18
00:00:36,360 --> 00:00:40,148
No, no, please, just give me more work!
19
00:00:40,173 --> 00:00:42,765
Aah! I want to stay here!
20
00:00:42,790 --> 00:00:44,923
The weekend is worse than the week!
21
00:00:45,211 --> 00:00:47,300
It's worse than the week!
22
00:00:47,325 --> 00:00:49,414
It's worse than the week!
23
00:00:50,225 --> 00:00:51,487
It's worse than the week!
24
00:00:51,512 --> 00:00:53,499
- Bill, Bill! Bill!
- Eh? Ah! Uh! Ah!
25
00:00:53,524 --> 00:00:55,445
- Bill!
- Oh!
26
00:00:55,470 --> 00:00:58,286
Oh, man, I just had a
nightmare it was the weekend.
27
00:00:58,311 --> 00:01:00,584
It is Saturday.
28
00:01:01,225 --> 00:01:03,576
So, I didn't scream at my office?
29
00:01:04,185 --> 00:01:05,293
I don't know.
30
00:01:05,318 --> 00:01:06,972
We'll find out Monday, I guess.
31
00:01:08,225 --> 00:01:09,583
God.
32
00:01:10,889 --> 00:01:12,412
Remember how weekends used to be?
33
00:01:12,437 --> 00:01:13,699
Sleep till noon.
34
00:01:13,724 --> 00:01:16,084
Yeah, take off on my motorcycle.
35
00:01:16,109 --> 00:01:17,458
Poop alone.
36
00:01:17,483 --> 00:01:19,092
Well, all that's gone.
37
00:01:19,117 --> 00:01:22,092
Now it's just kid stuff
and family obligations.
38
00:01:22,291 --> 00:01:23,641
Ooh, and this weekend,
39
00:01:23,666 --> 00:01:26,178
Emily has her first homework assignment.
40
00:01:26,493 --> 00:01:28,756
Come on. Emily has homework now?
41
00:01:28,781 --> 00:01:30,803
Just for the next 12 years.
42
00:01:31,351 --> 00:01:33,389
Happy Saturday.
43
00:01:33,974 --> 00:01:35,285
Ohh.
44
00:01:35,310 --> 00:01:36,865
Hey.
45
00:01:37,113 --> 00:01:40,246
The kids are still asleep. So...
46
00:01:40,271 --> 00:01:44,490
Mm. You want to have nervous,
silent sex while we stare at the door?
47
00:01:45,904 --> 00:01:50,865
Pancakes! Pancakes! Pancakes!
Pancakes! Pancakes!
48
00:01:58,769 --> 00:02:02,654
Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com
49
00:02:04,034 --> 00:02:05,677
We want waffles.
50
00:02:07,511 --> 00:02:09,193
And we're off.
51
00:02:11,189 --> 00:02:13,357
Mmm. Toothpaste and coffee.
52
00:02:13,382 --> 00:02:15,162
The working man's peppermint latte.
53
00:02:16,639 --> 00:02:18,249
What's the damage today, Jo?
54
00:02:18,423 --> 00:02:20,574
We've got two kids' birthday parties.
55
00:02:20,599 --> 00:02:22,039
Actual friends, fake school friends,
56
00:02:22,064 --> 00:02:24,037
family, or people we hate?
57
00:02:25,666 --> 00:02:26,958
Combo move.
58
00:02:26,983 --> 00:02:29,490
Lulu's friend and my
brother Benicio's kid.
59
00:02:30,008 --> 00:02:32,240
Do we have to go to the Benicio thing?
60
00:02:33,308 --> 00:02:36,098
Do you know how annoying
he'll be if we don't go?
61
00:02:36,123 --> 00:02:37,873
As annoying as if we do go?
62
00:02:38,257 --> 00:02:39,715
And we have a funeral.
63
00:02:39,740 --> 00:02:41,216
Oh, God!
64
00:02:41,241 --> 00:02:43,066
Your family constantly dies.
65
00:02:43,091 --> 00:02:44,474
Who is it this time?
66
00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:48,341
My cousin Luis.
The guy with all the turtles.
67
00:02:48,366 --> 00:02:50,176
Enh. They were tortoises.
68
00:02:50,201 --> 00:02:51,866
Well, whatever they were, he died,
69
00:02:51,891 --> 00:02:53,302
and they ate his toes.
70
00:02:54,085 --> 00:02:56,624
Hey. I hope you do that to me.
71
00:02:57,521 --> 00:02:59,657
At least both birthdays
are at Party Pizza,
72
00:02:59,682 --> 00:03:01,703
so, you know, we won't be
stuck in the car with the kids.
73
00:03:01,727 --> 00:03:03,107
Oh, thank God.
74
00:03:03,731 --> 00:03:05,121
Oh. Wait.
75
00:03:05,146 --> 00:03:06,707
No. Sorry.
76
00:03:06,732 --> 00:03:08,897
They're at two different Party Pizzas...
77
00:03:08,922 --> 00:03:11,013
40 miles apart?! What the...
78
00:03:11,422 --> 00:03:13,279
Aren't weekends relaxing?
79
00:03:13,304 --> 00:03:15,412
Ugh. Boy, do I need it.
80
00:03:16,184 --> 00:03:17,832
Why? What'd you do all week?
81
00:03:17,857 --> 00:03:20,808
Bought pantyhose, saw the dentist,
82
00:03:20,833 --> 00:03:22,810
mailed a letter.
83
00:03:23,976 --> 00:03:25,904
I don't know how I got it all done.
84
00:03:27,943 --> 00:03:29,181
Ahh.
85
00:03:29,206 --> 00:03:30,771
Ooh, that's good joe.
86
00:03:34,427 --> 00:03:36,563
Ahhhhh.
87
00:03:36,588 --> 00:03:38,175
Tell you what... Let's
just drive aimlessly
88
00:03:38,199 --> 00:03:39,802
- until that first party starts.
- Yeah.
89
00:03:40,940 --> 00:03:43,135
Oh, look. They're opening our gift.
90
00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:46,263
I grabbed something Lulu
never opened on her birthday.
91
00:03:46,288 --> 00:03:47,376
It's the perfect crime.
92
00:03:47,404 --> 00:03:49,471
Aw, look!
93
00:03:49,857 --> 00:03:52,191
"To Lulu. Happy Birthday.
94
00:03:52,216 --> 00:03:53,912
Love, Daphne."
95
00:03:56,680 --> 00:03:57,758
Since you already hate us,
96
00:03:57,783 --> 00:03:59,339
we're gonna take a pizza for the car.
97
00:04:09,018 --> 00:04:10,261
Thank you.
98
00:04:10,286 --> 00:04:11,643
What are we doing with our lives, huh?
99
00:04:11,667 --> 00:04:13,186
We work all week so we can do all this?
100
00:04:13,210 --> 00:04:14,210
Yes.
101
00:04:14,235 --> 00:04:15,646
You wanted to have kids.
102
00:04:15,671 --> 00:04:17,675
Uh, no, I didn't. You did.
103
00:04:18,356 --> 00:04:20,972
Well, I guess there's been
a huge miscommunication.
104
00:04:21,740 --> 00:04:24,569
Come on, babe, why do we have
to go to all your family events?
105
00:04:24,767 --> 00:04:27,527
Because otherwise, we're not a family.
106
00:04:27,552 --> 00:04:29,432
We're just a bunch of
people in the same city
107
00:04:29,457 --> 00:04:30,816
with the same nose.
108
00:04:31,550 --> 00:04:34,785
All I wanted to do today was
watch the U. Colorado game.
109
00:04:35,204 --> 00:04:36,424
You can do that.
110
00:04:36,449 --> 00:04:39,260
Jo, we made one promise.
111
00:04:39,434 --> 00:04:41,277
To never lie to each other, okay?
112
00:04:41,302 --> 00:04:43,804
Please do not violate
that sacred covenant now,
113
00:04:43,829 --> 00:04:46,292
or we... have nothing.
114
00:04:48,380 --> 00:04:49,860
What if this weekend,
115
00:04:49,885 --> 00:04:53,371
we each got to do one
small thing for ourselves?
116
00:04:53,396 --> 00:04:54,859
Totally depends. What's yours?
117
00:04:54,884 --> 00:04:56,714
I'd like to get my nails done.
118
00:04:56,739 --> 00:04:58,993
My feet look like a
Johnny Depp necklace.
119
00:04:59,018 --> 00:05:01,521
Deal. Game today. Nails on Sunday.
120
00:05:01,546 --> 00:05:02,682
Whoo-hoo!
121
00:05:06,017 --> 00:05:08,568
Okay, Benicio is depressing,
122
00:05:08,593 --> 00:05:11,621
so don't encourage it
for your own amusement.
123
00:05:11,646 --> 00:05:13,927
Ah, come on. That's the only
joy I can get out of the guy.
124
00:05:13,952 --> 00:05:16,996
I've met him, like, 300 times.
He never remembers who I am.
125
00:05:17,610 --> 00:05:19,318
Nine siblings, and you're the only one
126
00:05:19,343 --> 00:05:21,407
who showed for my son's birthday.
127
00:05:21,579 --> 00:05:22,902
Typical.
128
00:05:24,251 --> 00:05:27,191
Benicio, I-I'm sure Chuy
just has our other brothers
129
00:05:27,216 --> 00:05:29,027
helping out at Luis' funeral.
130
00:05:29,052 --> 00:05:30,809
You know how he is.
131
00:05:30,886 --> 00:05:32,496
Oh, I know how he is.
132
00:05:32,521 --> 00:05:34,115
You know Chuy stole my life, right?
133
00:05:34,140 --> 00:05:36,121
- Yes.
- No. How?
134
00:05:37,709 --> 00:05:39,904
September 10, 2001.
135
00:05:39,929 --> 00:05:41,371
Oh, boy.
136
00:05:41,857 --> 00:05:44,253
I spot Brie Gonzalez
at the school dance,
137
00:05:44,278 --> 00:05:48,808
and I turn to my brother Chuy,
and I say, "Dibs."
138
00:05:50,857 --> 00:05:53,378
The next thing you know,
they're married and have kids,
139
00:05:53,403 --> 00:05:55,448
like I never had dibs.
140
00:05:55,473 --> 00:05:57,003
That's crazy.
141
00:05:57,933 --> 00:06:00,158
I should be living in his
house with his family,
142
00:06:00,183 --> 00:06:01,211
and he should be the one
143
00:06:01,236 --> 00:06:03,347
whose air mattress exploded last night.
144
00:06:03,514 --> 00:06:05,542
You can't call dibs on a person.
145
00:06:05,567 --> 00:06:07,192
I think you can, you know?
146
00:06:07,217 --> 00:06:09,128
I-I'm on your side.
147
00:06:09,682 --> 00:06:13,802
It may be Luis' funeral,
but it is Chuy who's dead to me.
148
00:06:13,827 --> 00:06:15,253
Forever.
149
00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:17,749
My sister's so rude.
150
00:06:17,923 --> 00:06:19,480
I'm Benicio, by the way.
151
00:06:20,561 --> 00:06:23,042
I'm... also Benicio.
152
00:06:33,661 --> 00:06:35,425
You're the only family who showed.
153
00:06:35,450 --> 00:06:38,542
Well, of course.
I show up to everything.
154
00:06:38,567 --> 00:06:39,839
Where are the other brothers?
155
00:06:39,864 --> 00:06:42,449
I don't know. We just saw
Benicio at his kid's birthday.
156
00:06:42,474 --> 00:06:45,933
Hey, Benicio isn't still
talking about dibs, is he?
157
00:06:46,909 --> 00:06:48,389
Yeah, he was.
158
00:06:48,414 --> 00:06:49,660
You know how he is.
159
00:06:49,685 --> 00:06:52,160
Uh, yeah. I know how he is.
160
00:06:53,392 --> 00:06:56,027
Well, time to go crush this funeral.
161
00:06:58,050 --> 00:06:59,691
The game starts in an hour.
162
00:06:59,716 --> 00:07:01,145
Don't worry, babe.
We'll sit in the back.
163
00:07:01,169 --> 00:07:02,895
- If it goes too long, we'll sneak out.
- Okay, okay.
164
00:07:02,919 --> 00:07:04,683
Bill! Jo!
165
00:07:04,708 --> 00:07:07,300
There's seats up front! Get over here!
166
00:07:07,325 --> 00:07:10,082
Look at this whole row! Come with me!
167
00:07:11,058 --> 00:07:13,239
Okay, look, Chuy barely knew Luis.
168
00:07:13,264 --> 00:07:15,128
This'll be 10 minutes, tops.
169
00:07:16,185 --> 00:07:18,829
First, I'd like to thank
the tortoise community
170
00:07:18,854 --> 00:07:21,253
for your incredible support.
171
00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:24,654
What can you say about Luis?
172
00:07:25,234 --> 00:07:26,221
Nothing.
173
00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:27,433
Good.
174
00:07:27,458 --> 00:07:29,769
But what can I say about Luis?
175
00:07:29,794 --> 00:07:31,929
A whole buttload of stuff.
176
00:07:32,589 --> 00:07:33,714
Bad.
177
00:07:34,050 --> 00:07:36,306
Luis loved baseball.
178
00:07:36,331 --> 00:07:38,855
He watched every Rockies game.
179
00:07:39,675 --> 00:07:42,292
162 a year!
180
00:07:44,047 --> 00:07:45,657
In his honor,
181
00:07:45,706 --> 00:07:50,605
we will now take 162 moments of silence.
182
00:07:54,063 --> 00:07:55,472
One...
183
00:07:55,934 --> 00:07:57,998
Game starts in five minutes.
184
00:07:58,023 --> 00:07:59,783
Oh, just start recording it.
185
00:07:59,924 --> 00:08:01,253
Two...
186
00:08:02,364 --> 00:08:04,027
101...
187
00:08:05,255 --> 00:08:07,355
Why did Luis love tortoises?
188
00:08:07,380 --> 00:08:09,208
Who cares?
189
00:08:09,233 --> 00:08:11,378
They're so slow,
190
00:08:11,865 --> 00:08:15,167
and everyone hates when things go slow.
191
00:08:15,192 --> 00:08:16,722
Yeah, amen.
192
00:08:17,159 --> 00:08:19,652
What's the rush? Hmm?
193
00:08:19,677 --> 00:08:21,197
Everyone's in a hurry to get somewhere
194
00:08:21,222 --> 00:08:23,027
better than where they are.
195
00:08:23,451 --> 00:08:26,183
And all these things
that we rush past...
196
00:08:28,706 --> 00:08:30,582
well, that's life.
197
00:08:31,149 --> 00:08:32,652
Slow down!
198
00:08:34,464 --> 00:08:36,589
Enjoy your life!
199
00:08:37,360 --> 00:08:38,972
Live.
200
00:08:39,452 --> 00:08:40,627
Like.
201
00:08:41,394 --> 00:08:43,082
A.
202
00:08:43,811 --> 00:08:45,386
Tortoise.
203
00:08:48,040 --> 00:08:50,152
He always gets me at the end.
204
00:08:50,720 --> 00:08:52,527
Thank you, Denver! Good night!
205
00:08:53,675 --> 00:08:55,769
Okay, look, I-I got to get out of here
206
00:08:55,794 --> 00:08:57,012
before someone tells me the score.
207
00:08:57,036 --> 00:08:58,796
- I'll just see you at the car, okay?
- Okay.
208
00:09:02,124 --> 00:09:03,699
Bill, did you see the game?!
209
00:09:03,724 --> 00:09:05,730
No, Mo... Shh, shh, shh. I recorded it.
210
00:09:05,755 --> 00:09:07,496
Wait, where is it?
211
00:09:07,521 --> 00:09:09,292
Oh, it asked if I wanted to record it,
212
00:09:09,317 --> 00:09:11,757
but I didn't see any reason,
'cause I was already watching it.
213
00:09:14,447 --> 00:09:16,153
And there you have it!
214
00:09:16,177 --> 00:09:19,839
The greatest comeback
victory in Colorado history!
215
00:09:19,864 --> 00:09:23,246
I feel bad for anyone who missed it!
216
00:09:27,974 --> 00:09:30,714
Please don't touch the remote.
I'm recording something.
217
00:09:33,973 --> 00:09:37,480
It's worse than the week!
It's worse than the week!
218
00:09:37,505 --> 00:09:39,128
- It's worse than the week!
- Bill!
219
00:09:39,153 --> 00:09:42,527
Eh! Ah! Ah! Oh, no.
220
00:09:42,824 --> 00:09:45,691
- I just had a nightmare it's...
- It is Sunday.
221
00:09:47,324 --> 00:09:49,875
The kids are still asleep, so...
222
00:09:49,900 --> 00:09:51,371
Oh.
223
00:09:52,033 --> 00:09:55,914
Waffles! Waffles! Waffles! Waf...
224
00:09:59,244 --> 00:10:00,851
Let me guess. You want pancakes?
225
00:10:00,876 --> 00:10:02,961
No. Cereal.
226
00:10:07,580 --> 00:10:09,929
So, JoJo, Sunday plans. What do you got?
227
00:10:09,954 --> 00:10:11,984
Uh, there's...
228
00:10:13,277 --> 00:10:14,844
nothing.
229
00:10:16,218 --> 00:10:19,672
No parties, nothing with my family.
230
00:10:19,909 --> 00:10:21,703
Oh, my God.
231
00:10:21,728 --> 00:10:24,945
I have dreamed of this day for so long.
232
00:10:25,304 --> 00:10:27,351
I know.
233
00:10:27,376 --> 00:10:29,836
Now that it's here,
I have no idea what to do with it.
234
00:10:29,861 --> 00:10:31,531
Ooh, I have an idea...
235
00:10:31,556 --> 00:10:32,984
Nothing.
236
00:10:33,842 --> 00:10:35,287
Just relax.
237
00:10:35,312 --> 00:10:36,367
- Oh, yes.
- Right?
238
00:10:36,392 --> 00:10:39,179
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just stay home and relax.
239
00:10:39,204 --> 00:10:41,789
Oh, my gosh.
That actually sounds amazing.
240
00:10:44,704 --> 00:10:46,890
Bang! Bang! Whap! Bang!
241
00:10:46,915 --> 00:10:48,830
Ahhhh!
242
00:10:48,855 --> 00:10:50,289
We got to get out of here.
243
00:10:51,846 --> 00:10:53,261
What can we do?
244
00:10:53,286 --> 00:10:54,765
And don't say...
245
00:10:55,009 --> 00:10:56,609
or they will make us do it.
246
00:10:56,634 --> 00:10:57,640
A movie?
247
00:10:57,665 --> 00:11:00,359
Movie! We're going to a movie!
248
00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:02,556
Oopsie doodle.
249
00:11:04,025 --> 00:11:05,672
Fine, we'll take you to a movie,
250
00:11:05,697 --> 00:11:07,415
but then you have to do
your homework tonight.
251
00:11:07,439 --> 00:11:09,601
Yay! I'll get my jacket!
252
00:11:10,717 --> 00:11:12,851
Okay, look, babe, after the movie,
253
00:11:12,876 --> 00:11:14,055
I'll take the kids to the food court,
254
00:11:14,079 --> 00:11:15,359
and you can get your nails done.
255
00:11:15,384 --> 00:11:17,778
And then a bottle of wine and oblivion.
256
00:11:19,819 --> 00:11:21,664
Can't wait for that.
257
00:11:23,590 --> 00:11:25,250
I literally can't wait for that.
258
00:11:25,275 --> 00:11:27,094
I'm gonna make that happen right now.
259
00:11:28,044 --> 00:11:31,273
Okay, you get the car,
I'll get the kids, okay?
260
00:11:31,298 --> 00:11:33,148
Kids! Come on! Let's go!
261
00:11:33,500 --> 00:11:36,672
I can't find my jacket!
262
00:11:36,890 --> 00:11:38,054
Emily's jacket.
263
00:11:38,079 --> 00:11:40,062
You left it at the funeral yesterday.
264
00:11:41,038 --> 00:11:43,047
Thank you, but we...
We really got to go.
265
00:11:43,072 --> 00:11:44,883
Oh, I'll be brief. Please, come in.
266
00:11:48,011 --> 00:11:51,101
I-I can't stop thinking about
what God said yesterday.
267
00:11:51,275 --> 00:11:53,773
When He spoke through
me at Luis' funeral.
268
00:11:54,760 --> 00:11:56,422
Chuy, we're really in a hurry.
269
00:11:56,447 --> 00:11:58,014
Well, when God and I said that
270
00:11:58,039 --> 00:12:00,125
everyone is in way
too much of a hurry...
271
00:12:00,150 --> 00:12:02,627
Okay, yeah, but we
actually are in a hurry, okay?
272
00:12:05,043 --> 00:12:06,436
Lulu's jacket.
273
00:12:06,798 --> 00:12:08,594
You left it at Jose's party.
274
00:12:08,619 --> 00:12:09,703
Thank you, Beni.
275
00:12:09,728 --> 00:12:11,679
Uh, kids, we got to get out of here!
276
00:12:11,704 --> 00:12:13,406
That's okay. I've got a minute.
277
00:12:14,541 --> 00:12:16,226
Brother.
278
00:12:16,251 --> 00:12:18,054
Once upon a time.
279
00:12:18,223 --> 00:12:20,225
I see what you did, Jo.
280
00:12:20,250 --> 00:12:22,360
You left one jacket at the
funeral and the other at...
281
00:12:22,384 --> 00:12:24,898
At Jose's party, knowing
we would each feel compelled
282
00:12:24,923 --> 00:12:26,011
to return the jacket...
283
00:12:26,036 --> 00:12:27,390
And settle the feud
284
00:12:27,415 --> 00:12:28,812
- between us.
- Between us.
285
00:12:29,852 --> 00:12:31,219
Right. Yeah.
286
00:12:31,244 --> 00:12:32,571
'Cause we're not just
two stressed-out people
287
00:12:32,595 --> 00:12:35,101
with kids leaving crap everywhere we go.
288
00:12:36,410 --> 00:12:38,422
This ends right here, right now.
289
00:12:38,447 --> 00:12:40,664
Hey, do you guys maybe want
to do this at a Starbucks?
290
00:12:40,689 --> 00:12:42,172
'Cause...
291
00:12:51,503 --> 00:12:52,945
Hey, aren't you worried?
292
00:12:52,970 --> 00:12:55,156
No. I hope they kill each other.
293
00:12:56,108 --> 00:12:59,265
Alright, we made it,
with three minutes to spare.
294
00:12:59,290 --> 00:13:02,328
Ha! For once,
our family didn't blow up our lives.
295
00:13:02,353 --> 00:13:03,531
Uh-oh.
296
00:13:04,056 --> 00:13:05,056
What?
297
00:13:09,967 --> 00:13:11,620
My God.
298
00:13:11,778 --> 00:13:13,109
I mean, we can't wake them.
299
00:13:13,134 --> 00:13:14,570
No way.
300
00:13:14,595 --> 00:13:16,594
They'll turn into demons.
301
00:13:17,439 --> 00:13:19,219
Bye, movie.
302
00:13:19,244 --> 00:13:21,000
Bye, $50.
303
00:13:21,617 --> 00:13:24,094
You know, I swear,
they're messing with us.
304
00:13:25,907 --> 00:13:28,126
Another weekend disaster.
305
00:13:28,432 --> 00:13:30,515
Ohh. No, come on, babe.
306
00:13:30,540 --> 00:13:31,540
Look, I missed my game,
307
00:13:31,565 --> 00:13:33,304
but you can still go
get your nails done.
308
00:13:33,329 --> 00:13:35,287
I can't leave you alone.
309
00:13:35,709 --> 00:13:37,276
You have to.
310
00:13:37,930 --> 00:13:39,273
I can't.
311
00:13:39,298 --> 00:13:40,304
Eh...
312
00:13:40,329 --> 00:13:42,812
I'm already dead. It's too late for me.
313
00:13:42,837 --> 00:13:44,562
But you can still live.
314
00:13:44,587 --> 00:13:47,025
Go. Get your nails done.
315
00:13:48,528 --> 00:13:50,867
- What if they wake up?
- They will.
316
00:13:51,235 --> 00:13:53,867
Now... go, before they do.
317
00:13:57,930 --> 00:13:59,570
Remember me!
318
00:14:20,330 --> 00:14:22,047
- They're closing.
- Oh.
319
00:14:25,878 --> 00:14:27,039
God.
320
00:14:27,064 --> 00:14:29,109
What are we about to walk into here?
321
00:14:36,838 --> 00:14:38,898
Damn it. Everyone's still alive.
322
00:14:41,877 --> 00:14:44,562
The feud that has destroyed this family
323
00:14:44,587 --> 00:14:46,328
is at last resolved.
324
00:14:47,069 --> 00:14:49,554
We finally realized
what the problem was.
325
00:14:49,690 --> 00:14:51,795
Great. What was it?
326
00:14:51,820 --> 00:14:52,929
You.
327
00:14:54,222 --> 00:14:55,992
What are you talking about?
328
00:14:56,017 --> 00:14:59,336
Jo, you stoked the flames of this feud.
329
00:14:59,361 --> 00:15:01,031
You pitted us against each other,
330
00:15:01,056 --> 00:15:03,195
like a demon puppet-master.
331
00:15:04,060 --> 00:15:05,687
That's insane.
332
00:15:05,712 --> 00:15:07,117
Is it, Jo?
333
00:15:07,142 --> 00:15:09,586
Yesterday, when I asked you
if Chuy was mad at me,
334
00:15:09,611 --> 00:15:11,961
you said, "You know how he is."
335
00:15:11,986 --> 00:15:14,219
And when I asked you if
Benicio was mad at me,
336
00:15:14,244 --> 00:15:15,945
you said, "You know how he is."
337
00:15:17,164 --> 00:15:18,308
So?
338
00:15:18,333 --> 00:15:20,118
How am I, Jo?
339
00:15:20,330 --> 00:15:21,853
And how am I?
340
00:15:23,512 --> 00:15:25,234
Like this!
341
00:15:26,451 --> 00:15:28,125
Well, we disagree.
342
00:15:28,538 --> 00:15:30,086
You’re the one who is.
343
00:15:30,111 --> 00:15:32,250
And who continues to be "is."
344
00:15:33,499 --> 00:15:34,929
Me?
345
00:15:34,954 --> 00:15:37,984
I am the one who holds
this whole family together.
346
00:15:38,009 --> 00:15:39,500
Listen, guys, we're the only ones
347
00:15:39,525 --> 00:15:41,919
who go to every party and funeral.
348
00:15:42,082 --> 00:15:44,539
I mean, Jo is the glue of your family.
349
00:15:44,564 --> 00:15:47,033
And you actually think I'm the problem?
350
00:15:47,058 --> 00:15:48,799
Yes, that's what we just said.
351
00:15:51,733 --> 00:15:52,984
Sure.
352
00:15:53,009 --> 00:15:54,954
Hey, whatever helps you sleep at night.
353
00:15:54,979 --> 00:15:56,156
1,000 burpees.
354
00:15:56,181 --> 00:15:58,273
Children's Benadryl and vermouth.
355
00:16:01,661 --> 00:16:04,898
Chuy Marco Alejandro Rodriguez,
356
00:16:06,456 --> 00:16:08,734
I release the dibs.
357
00:16:10,081 --> 00:16:12,606
Benicio Alejandro Marco Rodriguez,
358
00:16:12,991 --> 00:16:14,508
I thank you.
359
00:16:14,541 --> 00:16:16,117
We're brothers again.
360
00:16:19,687 --> 00:16:23,811
And, Sandy, you are a miracle worker.
361
00:16:25,870 --> 00:16:27,881
W-What did she do?
362
00:16:29,914 --> 00:16:35,108
I told them you can't
call dibs on a person.
363
00:16:38,091 --> 00:16:39,920
Well, I think you can.
364
00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:43,123
Let's all go out and celebrate!
365
00:16:43,148 --> 00:16:45,171
Oh! I'm buying, boys.
366
00:16:45,845 --> 00:16:48,170
Okay, we'd love to, but we can't.
We got the kids.
367
00:16:48,195 --> 00:16:50,733
Too bad! Come on, fellas.
368
00:16:51,675 --> 00:16:54,373
You know, you really got to
learn to enjoy the weekend, man.
369
00:16:54,398 --> 00:16:56,069
By the way, I'm Benicio.
370
00:16:57,582 --> 00:16:59,367
Well, we did it.
371
00:16:59,604 --> 00:17:01,344
Another weekend in the books.
372
00:17:01,613 --> 00:17:03,788
No, we didn't do it.
373
00:17:03,813 --> 00:17:06,294
Emily's homework, remember?
374
00:17:06,631 --> 00:17:08,311
Unbelievable.
375
00:17:08,552 --> 00:17:11,092
Every time we feel like we're done,
we're not done.
376
00:17:11,953 --> 00:17:13,748
Emily, let's go.
377
00:17:13,773 --> 00:17:15,905
Why can't I just play with Play-Doh?
378
00:17:15,930 --> 00:17:17,105
It's in the name.
379
00:17:18,509 --> 00:17:21,366
Because you can't just do whatever
you want every second, sweetie.
380
00:17:21,391 --> 00:17:23,564
You do whatever you want.
381
00:17:25,625 --> 00:17:27,147
What?!
382
00:17:27,172 --> 00:17:29,264
Your dad wanted to watch the game.
383
00:17:29,289 --> 00:17:31,038
I wanted to get my nails done.
384
00:17:31,063 --> 00:17:33,834
We didn't get to do anything
we wanted to do this weekend.
385
00:17:33,859 --> 00:17:35,741
Well, I want ice cream.
386
00:17:35,766 --> 00:17:37,942
No. Do your homework.
387
00:17:37,967 --> 00:17:39,493
I'll do it if you give me ice cream.
388
00:17:39,518 --> 00:17:41,030
No ice cream!
389
00:17:41,055 --> 00:17:43,318
Okay? Go! Do your homework! Now!
390
00:17:43,343 --> 00:17:46,038
You're so mean! I hate you, Mom!
391
00:17:50,344 --> 00:17:52,678
Wow, that was an emotional hit job.
392
00:17:52,705 --> 00:17:53,944
Alright.
393
00:17:53,969 --> 00:17:55,202
Look, she doesn't hate you.
394
00:17:55,227 --> 00:17:56,997
I know, but still.
395
00:17:57,022 --> 00:17:58,123
Gosh.
396
00:17:58,148 --> 00:18:01,131
Why are, like,
the simplest things so hard?
397
00:18:01,156 --> 00:18:02,570
Yeah, I can't wait until
they're out of the house.
398
00:18:02,594 --> 00:18:04,577
We can just sit here, drinking naked.
399
00:18:08,563 --> 00:18:11,194
Imagine doing whatever we want again.
400
00:18:11,506 --> 00:18:13,465
I would watch every game.
401
00:18:13,592 --> 00:18:14,889
The whole game.
402
00:18:16,399 --> 00:18:18,194
Any sport. I don't care.
403
00:18:18,789 --> 00:18:20,138
I would just sleep.
404
00:18:20,163 --> 00:18:22,057
Ooh. Me, too. I change my answer.
405
00:18:22,082 --> 00:18:23,702
That's a good one.
406
00:18:24,006 --> 00:18:26,569
I can't believe we've
sacrificed all our freedom
407
00:18:26,594 --> 00:18:28,366
just to get screamed at.
408
00:18:29,235 --> 00:18:31,006
Babe, you know who
I'm almost jealous of?
409
00:18:31,031 --> 00:18:32,631
- Hmm?
- Luis.
410
00:18:33,936 --> 00:18:36,123
He watched every game, and then he died.
411
00:18:38,306 --> 00:18:40,381
Death is sleep.
412
00:18:40,546 --> 00:18:43,636
Yeah, but only like eight
people showed up to his funeral.
413
00:18:44,177 --> 00:18:46,962
I don't know. Maybe Chuy was right.
414
00:18:47,051 --> 00:18:48,741
You know, maybe we should just...
415
00:18:48,766 --> 00:18:52,117
try to enjoy this time and slow down.
416
00:18:53,517 --> 00:18:55,928
Hey. You know what?
417
00:18:55,953 --> 00:18:57,045
I bet 30 years from now,
418
00:18:57,070 --> 00:18:59,007
we'd kill to have a weekend like this.
419
00:19:00,563 --> 00:19:02,866
Dude, I'm so tired.
420
00:19:03,254 --> 00:19:05,535
Like, I literally don't
care about anything.
421
00:19:05,560 --> 00:19:06,879
Do you?
422
00:19:07,278 --> 00:19:08,809
Nope.
423
00:19:10,325 --> 00:19:11,645
Emily?
424
00:19:11,670 --> 00:19:13,661
Let's have some ice cream!
425
00:19:15,051 --> 00:19:17,020
Ohh. Mm.
426
00:19:17,045 --> 00:19:19,794
I'm sorry, Mommy. I love you.
427
00:19:19,819 --> 00:19:22,387
It's just that I get mad
when I don't get what I want.
428
00:19:22,412 --> 00:19:24,231
I know, pumpkin.
429
00:19:24,256 --> 00:19:25,431
Me, too.
430
00:19:25,456 --> 00:19:26,583
Yeah, me, too.
431
00:19:26,608 --> 00:19:27,652
Oop.
432
00:19:30,790 --> 00:19:32,606
I'll do my homework.
433
00:19:32,631 --> 00:19:33,893
Okay.
434
00:19:37,801 --> 00:19:39,895
What lesson did we just teach?
435
00:19:40,723 --> 00:19:43,012
Who cares? Tomorrow,
she's the school's problem again.
436
00:19:48,437 --> 00:19:51,136
"My Weekend, by Emily Ryan.
437
00:19:51,161 --> 00:19:55,044
I went to two parties and
ate six pieces of cake."
438
00:19:55,138 --> 00:19:57,879
"My uncles fought in my living room.
439
00:19:57,904 --> 00:20:00,895
Plus, my parents don't work on weekends,
440
00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:03,528
so I got to spend two
whole days with them.
441
00:20:03,834 --> 00:20:06,706
I have the best family."
442
00:20:07,169 --> 00:20:09,067
Ohhhhh!
443
00:20:09,550 --> 00:20:12,147
You see? She has no idea
we're completely inept.
444
00:20:14,648 --> 00:20:15,965
What are you doing?
445
00:20:15,990 --> 00:20:18,521
Making the kids' lunches. Why?
446
00:20:18,546 --> 00:20:19,678
It's Monday.
447
00:20:19,915 --> 00:20:21,684
It's a holiday weekend.
448
00:20:23,488 --> 00:20:25,458
Boy, do I need it.
449
00:20:29,340 --> 00:20:31,255
Ahhhhh.
450
00:20:40,713 --> 00:20:42,019
Excuse me.
451
00:20:50,981 --> 00:20:52,667
Ahhhhhhh.
452
00:20:52,692 --> 00:20:55,700
Aaaaaaaaaaah!
453
00:20:56,330 --> 00:20:57,723
Uh-oh.
454
00:20:59,786 --> 00:21:04,786
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