[opening theme music plays]
[siren blaring]
[horn honks]
[siren blaring]
[tires screech]
[snoring]
[snoring continues]
[gasps]
[groaning, panting]
[grunting]
[Shifty] Jackpot!
I landed the big one!
A fresh coat of paint and I can sell this for a fortune
at my pawn shop. [chuckles]
Huh?
[screams]
Mr. Buyyourstuff, can you tell us exactly
what you believe you saw this afternoon?
I was fishing for bargains when, out of nowhere,
a beast as big as an island of gently used merchandise
located conveniently on the corner of 7th and Main,
rushed my boat.
It was the Quacken! The Quacken!
Shifty's Pawn Shop! Open Sundays!
Sailors tell stories of a giant monster they call the Quacken.
The Quacken? It's horrifying!
It destroys anything in its path!
And while there have been no confirmed sightings of the beast,
many still believe in its existence.
In unrelated news, world renowned archaeologist
and adventurer Jessica Sharpe made an unexpected stop here today.
What brought her here?
We'll interrupt your programs to keep you informed.
[tense music]
[grunts]
Whoa! You're welcome to use the door.
I try to make a habit of never taking the easy way.
Good afternoon, gentlemen, I'm Jessica--
Sharpe! Everyone knows who you are!
[Duke] Jessica Sharpe.
Born on the wrong side of the tracks.
You graduated from Smarterthan University
at the age of 20 with a degree in Adventure.
Currently recognized as the world's
greatest archaeologist and treasure hunter.
Welcome to our city, Ms. Sharpe.
You boys do your homework.
So you must know why I'm here?
-Uh... -Hm...
I seek the Quaken and need your help to bring it to justice.
We can't get involved.
It's outside our jurisdiction and, technically,
the Quacken's done nothing wrong.
He's right. No can do.
Unless the Quacken's attackin' your plan, we can't be backin'.
What are you all talking about?
The Quacken doesn't exist.
It most certainly does and I'm going to prove it.
You sure you won't join me?
You'll be missing out on a lot of fame and fortune.
We're here to protect this city from danger, not seek it out.
Suit yourselves, gentlemen. I'll do it.
[grunts] With or without you.
I'm with Jessica Sharpe,
adventure-seeker and overcomer of impossible obstacles.
Jessica, what brought you to our city so abruptly?
I'm here to finally give proof to the existence of the Quacken
by capturing and bringing it back here to the city.
Wow! How do you intend to do that?
I had hoped for police assistance,
but it seems I'll have to find a different team.
But fear not, if I have to,
I will find the Quacken and drag it back by myself!
Cut! You were great!
So inspiring.
You know, if you need a crew,
I'd start with Captain Facepatch and the Guardian of the Oceans.
Captain who and the what now?
[Facepatch] Mop, people, mop!
The deck must be spic and span
before we break for a spot of tea
and a civil discourse on Renaissance poetry.
-Ooh, ooh. Can't wait! -I prefer mopping!
[Jessica] Ahoy there!
Who amongst you has the courage to face the Quacken?
No, thank you.
It swallows armadas for breakfast!
I would but I have a dentist appointment tomorrow.
Think of the fame and fortune.
None of you are up to the challenge?
-[Gabby] I'll join your crew. -Gabby?
I've always wanted a life of adventure.
I can make news and report on it at the same time.
Are you sayin' that this here Quacken hunt is gonna be televised?
Every second of it.
Oh! Then count us in!
Everyone, we're going to be on the telly!
Now, back to work!
The ship must be impeccably polished.
Spit spot!
[Surly] Who made this guy captain?
[Facepatch] We're now in the exact location
the Quacken was last spotted.
[Jessica] Excellent.
The plan is to lure it by gobbling like scared turkeys
and throwing a giant piece of toast overboard
as both are well known Quacken attractors.
I've spotted it! The Quacken!
[ominous music]
This is Gabby Tocamera live aboard the Guardian of the Oceans.
As you can see, we have located the Quacken!
I did it! I found the Quacken!
Now to capture the beast!
Keep your cameras rolling, Gabby.
What are you doing? Isn't this enough!
You wanted proof, and now you have it!
I'll do it. With or without you.
[panting]
Oh.
I guess I'll have to capture the Quacken by myself!
[grunts]
What are you doing?
You're taking us too close to the rocks!
I didn't come this far to turn back now!
[groaning]
We are in pursuit of the beast!
Any moment now, we'll be face to face with the monster!
[wailing]
[growling]
There it is! The Quaken!
[all screaming]
It's terrifying!
It's ferocious! It's...
-[all gasp] -A giant rubber duck?
What? It's rubber?
It's not a monster.
-[crew 1] Eh, that's not so bad. -[Surly] Not a big deal.
[crew 2] One of those lives in my bath tub.
[crew 3] That's actually kinda cute.
[crew 4] Well, yellow still makes me anxious.
[Facepatch] Ms. Sharpe, I implore you!
Take this ship to safety!
I let my ambition get the best of me,
and now, I've put this entire crew in danger.
I can fix this.
[gasps]
[grunts]
[suspenseful music]
[groaning]
-[rubber duck squeaks] -[all screaming]
[Facepatch] The Quacken!
Oh, no.
In an attempt to capture the Quacken,
Jessica Sharpe has accidentally sent it on a collision course
with the harbor.
[Gabby] Its impact will no doubt be devastating.
What have I done?
I'm Gabby Tocamera, Breaking News!
Ms. Sharpe ignored all of our warnings,
and now, she's brought a true crisis to the city.
You gotta admit, though, a giant rubber duck
unleashing havoc on the city? That's a totally rad crisis!
I have a plan.
I need a Sky Police helicopter
and the world's greatest cop that isn't me.
Because the only way to stop a giant floating monster...
is with a giant floating hero.
[Grizzled] I'm approaching the Cubby Balloon.
[Duke] Do you remember the plan?
I'm not that old.
[Grizzled] Push the Cubby Balloon to intercept the Quacken
before it reaches the city.
Are you sure you want me to do this?
I realize by sending Cubby out to sea,
we may never see him again.
But that is a sacrifice we must be willing to make
to save the city. [sighs sharply]
Do it.
Good luck and goodbye, old friend.
It's too fast! We can't catch it!
We'll never stop it from crashing into the city!
We can see the city on the horizon!
I estimate impact in less than two minutes!
There it is!
See? I was telling the truth...
And I'll happily recount my tale
with any purchase made at Shifty's Pawn Shop.
Open daily nine to five!
Huh?
The air current coming in off the water
is making it hard to control the helicopter...
and Cubby!
[wind whooshing]
[grunts] I've gotta turn back!
[Grizzled] I can't fight these shifting winds!
[car engine revving]
-[tires screeching] -[grunts]
There goes out last hope.
Look! The Quacken!
-[quacks] -[girls screaming]
[all screaming]
[dramatic music]
-[Shifty] Look, again! -All right!
Get him, Cubby!
[Gabby] We're in city harbor
where Cubby is challenging the Quacken
to a monster beatdown.
Who will be victorious?
[rubber duck squeaks]
That be it?
Disappointed, I be.
[cheering]
[crowd] Cubby! Cubby! Cubby!
[grunts]
The Quacken went that way, Ms. Sharpe.
Don't you have some chasing to do?
Please, call me Jessie.
And I admit, I've been terribly reckless
in my need to capture the Quacken.
I was only thinking about fame and fortune,
and wasn't considering the well-being of the good people
of this wonderful city.
Sounds like you learned a valuable lesson.
Adventuring isn't only about what you have to gain,
but what you have to lose.
To succeed,
sometimes, we have to make enormous sacrifices.
[Duke] Isn't that right, Cubby?
Welcome home, buddy!
[Facepatch] Come on, men!
Let's follow Cubby back into the city
for a night of polite celebration
and reasonably portioned meals.
[all crew] Huzzah!
Are these pirate outfits ours to keep?
[Gabby] And so concludes Breaking News.
I'm Gabby Tocamera, and I'm looking forward
to transitioning back to full-time news anchor
behind my nice, dry desk.
Shifty's Pawn Shop! Open Sundays!
[closing theme music plays]