[opening theme music plays]
[siren blaring]
[horn honks]
[siren blaring]
[tires screech]
[Rooky] I love the night shift.
The city's so quiet.
-Nothing but the sound of-- -[slurps]
Grizzled, can you stop slurping?
It's coffee. I have to slurp it.
It's iced coffee!
I don't want to get a brain freeze.
And I'm trying to stay awake.
Oh, I know what will keep us awake.
Looking at my family photo album.
That's my Great-Great Aunt Judy
who planted the first tree in City Center Square.
Here's Great Uncle Larry who chopped down that tree
and used it to build the first public library.
And there's Aunt Sue! She invented the late fee.
[snoring]
-[car horn beeps] -So many sheep...
If you're gonna talk about your relatives,
I need more coffee! [slurps]
You know, I just realized,
all my relatives made their mark on this city,
but I haven't yet.
That jelly donut you ate made a mark on your uniform.
I'm talking about doing something positive for the city
that people will remember forever.
-[thud] -[alarm wailing]
-Arr! -A pirate just robbed that mansion!
Times must be tough
if pirates are committing land-based crimes.
[Rooky and Grizzled panting]
Arr? Arr!
Keep going! I know a short cut.
[Bilgewater grunting]
-[thuds] -[grunts]
[Rooky] How do you find these shortcuts?
I hate running. [slurps]
-[Rooky] Who are you, pirate? -Arr! Arr!
Why were you stealing this peg leg?
Tell us what we want to know!
I'll never tell ya.
My name's One-Eyed Bilgewater and I stole the peg leg
because it leads to the lost treasure
of Captain Nosepatch!
Uh... You just did.
Blimey!
Well, I certainly won't tell you
that another pirate hired me to steal it.
You just did.
Double blimey!
Well, did I tell you I was meeting him this Thursday
on the Guardian of the Oceans vessel?
-Not yet. -And I never will!
You know what this means?
That this pirate should be called "One-Eyed Spill-The-Beans?"
Nosepatch's treasure is one of the great unsolved mysteries of the city!
We find it, I make my mark!
Slow down, jelly donut.
First, we gotta find the pirate who hired him.
You'll never find him!
It's Thursday, which is pirate day on his ship,
so everyone on board is dressed as a pirate!
Then we'll go undercover as pirates.
Arr!
The plan is to go undercover as pirates,
find One-Eyed's contact, and recover the treasure.
Yup.
So, why are you dressed like you're going on a tropical vacation?
Always wanted to take a cruise.
[Billy] Avast, you scurvy scalliwags!
You barnacle-sucking bilge rats!
Whoa. Hey! What's with the insults?
Actually, in pirate,
"Barnacle-sucking bilge rats" is quite a compliment.
Oh. Uh... Thank you?
Allow me to introduce myself.
I'm Captain Facepatch,
and this is my first mate, Billy Bones.
And who be ye, smelly sea urchins?
I'm Miss...
Behavior.
Miss Behavior. Because I'm, uh, really bad.
I'm Grizzled.
Because I'm Grizzled.
Well, welcome aboard.
Billy here will show you the ropes.
Here's the big rope, small rope, and jump rope.
-Any questions? -Yeah.
Where's the Party Deck?
We don't have a Party Deck.
[groans] Guess I'll have to make one.
-Arrg! -Arrg!
Ahoy there, mateys!
You salty pretzels don't know the combination
to Davy Jones' locker, do you?
I'm sorry, what did you say?
I hear there may be some booty on the poop deck!
We have no idea what you're saying.
[sighs] I'm sorry.
I'm not fluent in pirate.
Neither are we.
We're just here for "Pirate Thursday."
I'm an accountant.
I'm a chiropractor!
[grunts] Online chiropractor!
Miss Behavior,
will ye be joining us for the Top Pirate Challenge?
Sure, you big pile of whale vomit!
[both gasp]
What, I was speaking pirate!
I was trying to give you a compliment.
Eh. In pirate, "whale vomit" means "whale vomit."
Oh.
[Billy] Alright, everyone, gather around.
It's time for our first pirate activity.
Cannon shooting.
-Oh, yeah, awesome! -[all cheering]
Before we get started, repeat after me.
"I will not shoot other pirates out of the cannon."
[all] I will not shoot other pirates
out of the cannon.
Okay. Now, load your cannons and--
-[Surly grunts] -[cannon fires]
-[Wanda screams] -Avast!
[water splashes]
-[Surly] That was great! -[Wanda] I wanna go again!
You shot other pirates out of the cannon!
Ai-yi-yi, we did not sign up to be pirates
to follow the rules!
-No. -[both laugh]
[grunts]
Is there anyone who didn't shoot a pirate
out of their cannon?
I didn't even fire my cannon yet.
Perfect! Then fire away!
[cannon fires]
-[water splashing] -[Billy] That went really far!
Miss Behavior wins!
Nice job, ya smelly octopus armpit!
He's never called me a "smelly octopus armpit."
Teacher's pet.
What kind of pirate might ye be, eh?
Tropical pirate.
I'm plundering the sun's golden rays.
I want to steal the sun's gold!
Then you need to defend yourself.
What? Cutlass?
Cannon?
Sunscreen.
Ah, SPF 50.
You are a wise pirate.
This next pirate activity be called "Dodge the barrels."
Begin!
[exciting music]
[grunting]
[groans]
Ha-ha-har! [grunts]
[grunting]
Yes!
Miss Behavior wins again! Ha-har!
You're on track to be Top Pirate
and learn all the secrets of the ship!
Ooh! I want to be Top Pirate!
Then you'll have to pass the final challenge,
-the... -[cannon fires]
Stop shooting each other out of cannons!
[Wanda] It's just so much fun!
[Billy] Captain, this sea dog wants to be Top Pirate.
Oh, do you think you can pass the challenge
-of the Captain's Cutlasses? -Yes!
Then juggle! [laughs]
Whoa. Whoa!
This is tricky!
You think this is tricky?
The old challenge was shark boxing!
Hey! I'm getting the hang of this!
She can't take much more, Captain!
-We shall see! -[gasps]
Whoo! [laughing]
Twenty-five cutlasses?
That's a new record!
Everyone, we have a new Top Pirate!
[all cheering]
Whoo-hoo!
Uh, you can stop juggling the cutlasses now.
Uh...
Actually, I can't!
She's gonna blow!
-[Rooky gasping] -[all screaming]
[whimpers]
[yells]
[both grunting]
Now, to become the official Top Pirate,
I must anoint you with the sacred peg leg
of Captain Nosepatch!
Hey! That peg leg is the same as mine!
Redbeard's ghost!
It's the other lost peg leg of Captain Nosepatch!
Do you know what this means?
-He had a hard time walking? -Uh, no.
It means we have the complete map to his lost treasure!
Wait a second.
This looks like a map of the harbor.
And this "X" means
the treasure is just below the ship!
To the submarine!
Billy, who knows what dangers we'll encounter down there?
This sub only has enough oxygen for six hours.
If you haven't heard from us by sunset,
assume the worst.
[Facepatch] Now, lower us down!
[water splashes]
[Facepatch] Hooray! We found the treasure!
Which means... [grunts]
I found my bad guy!
What is the meaning of this?
You hired One-Eyed Bilgewater
to steal the peg leg from the mansion!
I don't know a One-Eyed Bilgewater!
Don't play dumb.
This was your master plan to find the treasure!
Actually, it was my master plan!
-[both] Billy? -Yes!
I hired One-Eyed Bilgewater.
Our plan was to also steal Facepatch's peg leg
to find the treasure and keep it for ourselves!
But then the police came aboard, didn't ye?
You knew I was a cop all along?
Ever since "dodge the barrels."
You dropped your badge.
[sighs]
Now, the treasure is mine!
Oh, and I'll also be stealing this submarine,
if ye don't mind.
Oh, I mind, Billy!
[grunts]
[both grunting]
Ha-harr!
You're shark food now!
Ow! [groans]
Sorry, buddy,
that shuffleboard disk got away from me.
Great work, Grizzled!
You caught the criminal mastermind.
Who? Billy?
Right. I knew that.
Less talk, more treasure opening!
Spit spot.
[Grizzled] It's just a bunch of old doorknobs.
Gold doorknobs!
What is it with this city and doors?
These must be worth millions.
Eh, it's no chocolate fountain.
[Wheeler] Rad work, Rooky!
You found the lost treasure of Nosepatch!
Thanks, Chief!
I finally made my mark on the city.
And I made a mark on Billy's face!
Ye sure did!
[all laugh]
-[cannon fires] -[screaming in distance]
I said stop shooting each other out of cannons!
[closing theme music plays]