♪ He's got the whole world in his hands ♪
♪ He's got the whole world in his ♪
♪ Hands ♪♪
REPORTER (over TV): Oregon voters legalize psychedelic mushrooms.
Oregon becomes the first entire state to do so.
MARIANA: For the first time in a long time,
psychedelic drugs are creeping into the mainstream.
REPORTER 2 (over TV): Some psychiatrists and researchers
are giving psychedelic drugs a second look as a possible way of
treating some mental illnesses.
STEVE (over TV): Some tech workers are experimenting with LSD.
The trend is called microdosing
REPORTER (over TV): Microdosing
REPORTER 2 (over TV): Microdosing.
MARIANA: It's a psychedelics renaissance.
STEVE (over TV): I had no idea this was still out there,
that this was,
this was something people were still doing.
MARIANA: New users, new uses, and of course,
a host of new celebrity endorsements.
JADA: I was introduced ten years ago.
ADRIENNE: Mm-hmm.
JADA: To deal with my depression.
ADRIENNE: Yeah. JADA: And it knocked it out.
ELON: People should be open to psych, psychedelics.
STING: I don't think psychedelics are the,
the answer to the world's problems,
but they could be a start.
MARIANA: Still, US law classifies most psychedelics
as Schedule I drugs.
That means making, dealing, or using is highly illegal.
So those seeking to cash in are also the ones willing to
risk serious jail time.
I want to understand what this psychedelic boom looks like from
the underground, why it's happening now,
and why these drugs have been vilified for so long.
Which is how I find myself here.
This is pretty out there.
Pretty much in the middle of nowhere.
I know virtually nothing about who I'm meeting.
And only one thing about where I'm meeting him.
(phone line ringing)
They call it the Mushroom Mansion.
X (over phone): Hello?
MARIANA: Hi, I think I'm here.
X (over phone): I'm right here, in the garage.
MARIANA: How are you? I'm Mariana.
So this is it, huh?
X: Yup.
MARIANA: We're going inside?
X: Yup.
And these are sterilizers.
MARIANA: Oh. What's in here?
X: Uh, this is an incubation room.
MARIANA: Can I go in? X: Yeah.
MARIANA: Wow. This space is crazy.
There's a lot of bags here, huh?
X: Yeah. Probably close to 200.
MARIANA: And how long have you been growing mushrooms for?
X: Uh, pretty consistently for the past five years.
MARIANA: Give me an idea, a sense of how much money you make?
X: We can do a couple hundred grand a month.
Yeah.
MARIANA: Wow, that's a lot of money.
X: Like, consistently. Yeah.
MARIANA: Out of this one house in the middle of nowhere, practically.
X: Yeah. Yeah. Y: Yeah.
MARIANA: Which part do you eat? You can eat the whole part?
X: The whole thing. MARIANA: The whole thing?
X: Mm-hmm.
MARIANA: And this is pretty powerful?
Y: This one is quite visual.
Color, geometrics, fractals.
MARIANA: It's not just mushrooms that are having a moment.
I've read that the demand for other types of mind-altering drugs
like peyote, mescaline, ayahuasca,
and DMT is also increasing.
♪ Little girl ♪♪
MARIANA: But I also know that not
all mind-altering drugs are created equal.
There's one that offers the biggest highs and, allegedly,
some of the biggest profits.
It's what some consider to be the holy grail of psychedelics.
♪ My heart just won't behave ♪♪
MARIANA: So do you know anything about LSD?
X: Yes, I've eaten copious amounts of LSD.
MARIANA: And do you know anything about the business side
of it, or the making side of it?
X: Yeah. Mm-hmm.
MARIANA: Do you, do you make LSD?
X: No, I do not.
If I get caught doing this, it's not that bad.
But if you get caught making LSD, you can do life in prison.
MARIANA: Wow.
There's a reason why even guys who sell
a massive amount of drugs from a place called, "The Mushroom Mansion,"
wouldn't think of selling LSD and that reason is the 1960s.
KENNEDY: We face, therefore,
a moral crisis as a country and a people.
(rapid gunfire)
MARIANA: Historians talk about the '60s as a battle for
the soul of America.
♪ Love still hurts my tired eyes ♪
♪ 'Cause I refuse to pass you by ♪♪
MARIANA: But it was also a battle for the future of LSD.
♪ Peace in the garden of my mind ♪♪
MARIANA: Researchers had high hopes that LSD might unlock
the mystery of mental illness.
The CIA thought it had potential as a mind-control weapon against
Cold War enemies.
And out in San Francisco, LSD was at the heart of a growing
counterculture movement that was anti-war and anti-establishment.
TIMOTHY: Turn on, tune in, drop out.
MARIANA: The controversy landed LSD on the cover of
Life magazine in 1966.
The article read, "The genie of LSD,
with all its tantalizing possibilities for good and evil,
is out in the open."
But it wasn't out in the open for long.
Ultimately, the country's conservative impulses won the day.
REPORTER: There is a relationship between
taking dope and protesting.
MARIANA: Acid got stigmatized. Hippies got marginalized.
And then in 1969, if the drug’s fate wasn't sealed already,
the Nightly News introduced America to
LSD's most infamous users.
REPORTER (over TV): Friday night, in Los Angeles,
a movie actress and four of her friends were murdered.
The circumstances were lurid.
REPORTER 2 (over TV): Police said they were a pseudo-religious cult.
People who worked on the ranch said
they were heavy users of drugs.
MARIANA: Charles Manson was a proverbial nail in LSD's coffin.
MANSON: If I started murdering people,
there'd be none of you left.
MARIANA: He was also further justification for
Richard Nixon's war on drugs.
NIXON: America's public enemy number one in the United States
is drug abuse.
MARIANA: It was a decade that drove the drug and the chemists
making it deep underground.
More than half a century later, that's where they remain.
♪ ♪
(phone line ringing)
He's not answering his phone.
So we're following this car.
He's a, a guy in there, who knows we're following him,
who's going around downtown Vancouver selling LSD tonight.
He's gonna purchase some more from his supplier.
What we're trying, really trying to do is get to his supplier.
I'm in Vancouver, where one of my sources has connected me with
a street-level LSD dealer.
(phone line ringing)
MARIANA: Uh, so we're still following you.
Are you meeting this person at their house or?
MARIANA: Okay. So when we get there, where do you want us to be?
MARIANA: Shoot.
So I think it's here and he's asked us not to be seen.
Just keep rolling. Just keep rolling, guys.
Yeah, so it's happening right there.
See he's coming out of the car?
He's just crossing the street.
He's going into a house, I think.
(knocking)
WOMAN: Hey. RAM DASS: How are you?
WOMAN: Good, how are you?
(siren blaring)
MARIANA: Is this an ambulance siren, or police?
MARIANA: Do you guys hear the cops?
WOMAN: You betcha.
MARIANA: Is he coming out?
He is. He's coming out.
Is he?
Okay, he's walking towards us now.
Hi. So is that, is that what you just bought?
MARIANA: Can I see it?
MARIANA: Oh, wow.
Yeah, it's a reference to the Grateful Dead, right?
The dancing bear?
MARIANA: So, how many doses are in this?
MARIANA: Mm-hmm. Sorry, we're just making sure that there's no,
we were hearing cops before.
Got nervous when I heard it.
MARIANA: What would happen if the, the police found you with this stuff?
If you're driving off now in your car and
the police stops you and found this stuff?
MARIANA: You'd get time?
MARIANA: And so why do you do it? Why risk it?
MARIANA: Right.
MARIANA: How much did you buy it for?
RAM DASS: On it.
MARIANA: How much can you sell it for? How much money do you make?
MARIANA: That's good money. Why did you agree to talk to us?
MARIANA: So you truly believe that by selling LSD,
by selling acid, you're helping people.
MARIANA: I've reported on a lot of drugs in my career,
but I've never had a cocaine or heroin dealer
talk about the benefits of using.
The people I'm meeting in this psychedelic trade seem to
be a different breed.
Dealers and believers.
There's somebody supplying the person that just sold you with the LSD?
MARIANA: A chemist?
MARIANA: A hippie.
MARIANA: I push for more details,
but that's all he's got.
I'm not surprised.
Supply chains are often compartmentalized like this.
That way, if low-level dealers get caught,
they don't endanger the key players.
But, to be honest, I'm getting the sense that this LSD supply chain
isn't like others I've reported on.
So I decide I need to do a bit more digging.
MAN: Really difficult to get people to, to open up.
More so than any other drug that I've ever researched,
the people that I've spoken to are almost evangelical about the drug.
MARIANA: I talk to journalists.
MAN: This drug is not really motivated by money, necessarily.
MARK: I've heard that there are very few chemists.
MARIANA: I talk to researchers.
MARK: It's a, it's a hard thing to make.
The underground manufactures and sells,
and often they sell it to therapists who are making
this service available.
MARIANA: But if you actually want to try LSD anywhere in the world right now,
you are doing something completely illegal?
MARK: Absolutely. Yes.
MARIANA: I talk to other psychedelic dealers.
LUCY: With psychedelics and within the community,
people that know won't talk and
the people that talk don't know.
MARIANA: I even head to my first Grateful Dead show,
to try and make some connections.
The parking lot feels like spring break for
the psychedelics crowd.
Is it easy to find here?
BEN: It's very easy to find here.
You could probably find it within, like, two minutes.
Just stand out in front of my booth.
Yeah.
It'll come, it'll come through.
MARIANA: You, you saw, I just saw the police car going
back and forth here.
BEN: Yeah. Yeah.
MARIANA: So they know that this is happening?
BEN: 100%. 100%.
MAN: I got gummy bears edibles guys!
Get them all just for $10. Get them while they're cold.
MARIANA: Eventually I find my guy, who I'm told
is a major player.
He's wearing a bacon and eggs mask and
his head is covered in beans.
♪ ♪
SPARKLES: So.
MARIANA: Do you always put on gloves?
SPARKLES: Yeah, it's pretty easy to get stung,
if you know what I mean.
So this is all liquid acid.
All these vials here, this is all LSD.
MARIANA: And each one of these little squares is a dose?
SPARKLES: It's a hit of acid, yeah.
MARIANA: Yeah. And this one? This one is free, right?
It doesn't have any.
SPARKLES: Yeah, that one doesn't have any acid on it.
MARIANA: Does it smell like anything?
SPARKLES: I mean, not really. It's diluted with alcohol.
MARIANA: Yeah. It smells a little bit like alcohol...
SPARKLES: Yeah. MARIANA: Right?
MARIANA: In a basement that smells of Chinese food,
I meet Sparkles, who claims to be one of
the West Coast's biggest suppliers of LSD.
SPARKLES: I just like spreading the love, you know?
Everybody's gotta do this, this is crazy.
MARIANA: How do people find you?
SPARKLES: Just through friends, you know?
MARIANA: And then, so if you trust this person,
then how do you send it off?
SPARKLES: It's pretty easy to disguise.
You can just put it in a card, you can put it in a book.
It's a piece of paper, literally.
This is probably as good as it gets.
It's extremely pure.
MARIANA: This stuff here? SPARKLES: Yeah.
MARIANA: And where did you get this from?
SPARKLES: Um, I get it from, it's just, you know,
it's an old friend who is pretty involved in the industry.
MARIANA: Do you think that person would talk to us?
SPARKLES: I don't think they would.
MARIANA: I ask if he knows the hippie chemist in the mountains.
SPARKLES: I don't know him personally.
I know that there's only really been one and from as far as I understand,
he's been retired for a few years now.
I think, you know, he's getting older,
or he's got his life.
He's made his money.
He's happy to kind of just relax.
MARIANA: And, so who, there's somebody else making it?
SPARKLES: Well, currently we're just still kind of
running through old stock.
You don't need very much, right?
So, like, a single gram of LSD is 10,000 doses.
MARIANA: Wow, so it's still this, this big batch of.
SPARKLES: Yeah, we're still using the same batch.
For now, anyways.
MARIANA: That's right, the drug is so potent that
the hippie chemist who seems to be supplying all of
Vancouver's acid is supposedly a retired hippie chemist,
who hasn't made a new batch in years.
So why do you think it's so secretive?
Apart from the fact that it's illegal.
SPARKLES: Yeah. Yeah, it's illegal.
But it's also just, kind of, like an
old wizard's club, you know?
It's kind of like the Acid Illuminati.
That way they keep their secrets.
They don't really want a lot of people knowing who they are.
MARIANA: The reverence he has for these chemists surprises me.
Typically drug supply chains lead back to ruthless
cartel bosses or gang leaders.
But Sparkles talks of these chemists more like
misunderstood healers or shamans.
Not everyone agrees.
DENNIS: I think it all comes down to greed and profit.
MARIANA: Dennis Wichern was a DEA agent for more than 30 years
and feels strongly about the dangers of LSD.
DENNIS: You're putting something in your body that
you don't know how it's made.
You don't know what the dose is.
Allegedly a dose of LSD is contained in a microgram.
We're talking specs off the tip of a pen.
So if it's too much, that's gonna alter the effect.
And then you don't know the quality control either.
And you know what? You're playing Russian roulette.
MARIANA: In 2000, the DEA made the biggest bust in LSD history.
REPORTER (over TV): DEA agents believe the LSD lab is
one of the largest in the world
MARIANA: The lab of chemist Leonard Pickard was hidden
inside a decommissioned missile silo in Kansas.
On hand was enough LSD for nearly 400 million hits of acid.
DENNIS: In effect, you took a, a, a world class LSD chemist off
the table who could no longer manufacture LSD.
MARIANA: But finding other chemists hasn't been easy.
DENNIS: The LSD supply chain, historically,
has been hard to crack because it's been
a small group of people with the scientific expertise to make it.
The LSD cooks and the users have kind of like a cult following.
MARIANA: It's that cult-like following that still
has me itching to find a chemist myself.
So yeah, so this is where she said we should meet her.
Okay, yeah. This is her.
Hi!
MICHELLE: Hi. How's it going?
MARIANA: How are you, Michelle? Good.
MICHELLE: I'm good. MARIANA: Thanks for meeting me.
Should we go for a little ride, then?
MICHELLE: Yeah, absolutely.
MARIANA: Back in Los Angeles, I turn to a journalist with
deep connections in the psychedelics world,
Michelle Lhoog.
MICHELLE: Have you ever done psychedelics?
MARIANA: I am terrified of drugs, so.
MICHELLE: Oh, interesting.
MARIANA: That's, I'm really afraid of losing control.
MICHELLE: Well, it's interesting that you say you're, like,
a little afraid of drugs, because I think psychedelics
kind of change a lot of the paradigm of what
people consider to be drugs.
MARIANA: Mm-hmm.
MICHELLE: Especially now, that these substances are recognized
as therapeutic, and there's, like, real research coming out.
MARIANA: Right.
MICHELLE: Honestly, trying to find an LSD chemist is one of
the most difficult things that you can try and do.
MARIANA: And why is that?
MICHELLE: Because I think there are only, like,
about ten people who make LSD.
So, you know, it's a very, you have to be, like,
a really good organic chemist to be able to do this.
MARIANA: So it's a mystery for you, even for you?
And you've been doing this for years.
MICHELLE: Nobody knows.
I talk to dozens of dealers and underground sources.
Nobody knows.
It literally is, I think, one of the greatest mysteries
in the underground drug world.
MARIANA: But I know these chemists are out there and
I'm going to do my best to find one.
♪ ♪
MAN: Weeds are our common enemy.
Here at the Dow Chemical Company,
revolutionary chemical killers are being produced to
help rid us of these costly pests.
MARIANA: In 1966, a Dow chemist best known for creating
the first biodegradable pesticide,
left the corporate world to focus on his
private obsession; psychedelics.
His name was Alexander Shulgin.
Working quietly in his backyard lab,
east of San Francisco, Shulgin began synthesizing new drugs.
He tested them on himself first.
If promising, he gave doses to his wife and a group of friends.
ALEXANDER: What I'm searching for are materials that could
open up ways of understanding how the mind works.
MARIANA: Over the years he discovered more than 200 new psychedelics.
Many of which he thought had great potential for
the treatment of depression, phobias, and PTSD.
But by the late 1980s, there was a renewed crackdown
on illegal drugs.
REAGAN: I will announce tomorrow a series of
new proposals for a drug free America.
MARIANA: Shulgin, like other chemists,
began to fear that the Feds might be
spying on him and his research.
So he decided to share his secrets, eventually,
self-publishing two books of his compounds and findings.
ALEXANDER: 25 milligrams, no effect.
40, no effect.
81 milligrams, smooth shift into a light intoxication.
MARIANA: Two years later, the DEA raided his lab,
calling his writings a cookbook for how to make illegal drugs.
REAGAN: Just say no.
(cheering)
(singing in native language).
MARIANA: Definitely a very isolated place.
We're in the middle of this sort of valley.
Got this mountain with boulders.
There's a lot of trailers up on the mountain
and on the side of the road.
(phone line ringing)
Hey. How are you?
I'm not sure we're in the right place.
We're coming down this sort of mountain.
PRODUCER (over phone): I'm going to send you a pin to
the location that he sent me.
We, we've been talking to proxies.
MARIANA: Is that a security?
Is he just not comfortable talking to you?
PRODUCER (over phone): I think it's a security measure, yeah.
MARIANA: Yeah.
PRODUCER (over phone): So I'll send you a pin and the pin is to a gate.
You get out at the gate and then you take your first left
onto a dirt pass, and he'll be there waiting for you.
MARIANA: Okay, great, thanks. Bye.
I've hit brick wall after brick wall in my search
for an LSD chemist.
But I think I may have found another way in.
I see another abandoned trailer.
Is it this way, you guys think?
I mean, that's what the pin's telling me.
In my research, I've learned that one of the key ingredients
in LSD is a difficult to find precursor chemical called
ergotamine tartrate.
It's highly regulated and closely watched by the DEA.
I'm told that one kilo on the black market can go
for hundreds of thousands of dollars.
But without it, there can be no LSD.
MICHELLE (over phone): These chemists don't talk to anybody.
Everybody else in the pipeline has no idea who this chemist is
where they're getting their source.
Almost like a cult.
MARIANA: In the past, much of the underground supply
came from Europe or Asia.
But Michelle told me that she's learned of a chemist
that's making it right here in the United States.
I'm eager to hear what an insider might know.
Plus, there's nothing I like better than heading into
the woods to meet a stranger in a mask.
♪ ♪
MARIANA: How are you? JOE: Joe.
MARIANA: Hi, Joe. Nice to meet you.
Thanks for meeting with us.
I'll take a seat here.
Nice place. Really isolated.
Um...
How did it all start for you?
(sighs)
JOE: Pardon me. MARIANA: No worries.
We can take as many breaks as you want.
That's not a comfortable way...
JOE: It's not a comfortable question, either.
I went to a birthday party of some of my friends and
met some other people that were there.
And I didn't know that those were the people that
were trying to hire me.
And then later on they approached me for the job.
They wanted to see who I was and how I acted.
MARIANA: So tell me a little bit about what you did,
I guess we can start there.
JOE: Um, so there's a lot of things that go into making LSD
and one of the things that I do is synthesize the precursors.
MARIANA: Ergotamine? JOE: Right.
Something that hasn't been done in the States recently.
Instead of buying it off the dark web,
from Ukraine, or something like that.
MARIANA: Right.
What we heard is that there's not a lot of people actually
making it outside of pharmaceutical companies
because it is so difficult.
JOE: That's correct.
MARIANA: And how are you capable of doing that?
JOE: I mean, whatever someone makes in a pharmaceutical lab,
with the right equipment, I can make also.
MARIANA: I've found my way to a chemist who makes ergotamine tartrate,
the hardest to source ingredient in LSD.
You have a chemistry degree?
JOE: Sure.
You know, chemistry is not something you just wanna wake-up
and smoke a joint and do...
MARIANA: Mm-hmm.
JOE: And what I do maybe takes, like, two and a half weeks.
MARIANA: Oh, for a batch of ergotamine?
JOE: Right.
To do it, you need to make a large amount at one time.
MARIANA: We asked if we could go to your lab, several times.
JOE: Mm-hmm. MARIANA: And what did you say?
JOE: That's a definite no. MARIANA: And why is that?
JOE: It would be dangerous for you,
it would be dangerous for everyone I work for.
Yeah, it's not, that's not smart.
And that's not how we do things.
We definitely wouldn't do that.
MARIANA: I know you don't wanna talk about the lab much,
but can you give me a sense?
Does it look like a professional lab?
That's like a lab-lab?
JOE: It looks like a house.
And there's like a, a kitchen that looks like it's a normal kitchen.
And someone goes in there and washes dishes,
that aren't really dishes.
Someone goes and mows the yard.
And, uh, we only come over there once, or twice a year.
MARIANA: Really? JOE: Yeah.
MARIANA: So they actually have people go there and
do jobs that aren't necessary,
only to pretend like it's a, you know.
JOE: 100%, to make it look like someone's lives there.
No one lives there.
MARIANA: Oh.
So what, once a week somebody goes and mows the lawn?
JOE: Mows the lawn, yeah, waves to the neighbors.
Stuff like that.
MARIANA: So it doesn't, doesn't smell like anything?
JOE: We make sure it doesn't smell.
There's many filters. Air controlled environments.
Yup. Vacuum sealed rooms.
Very common.
MARIANA: And do the neighbors ever look at you or?
JOE: Yeah, you wave to them and you smile,
like you're the friends going over to a party.
You might bring a bottle of wine,
or something that you never drink.
MARIANA: Hmm.
JOE: You wanna make sure everything look like it's normal.
Sometimes I'll bring up flowers, or something.
Or sometimes I'll act like I'm doing something that
normal person would do.
MARIANA: Mm-hmm.
JOE: And I don't wear my lab coat.
MARIANA: And so, twice a year, more or less,
you and other people, an LSD chemist, go into this house.
JOE: Sure. Other people,
their job might take longer or less time than mine.
MARIANA: Mm-hmm.
JOE: Usually we work separate from each other.
I've been there when two or three people are working at
the same time and that's okay.
MARIANA: Mm-hmm. JOE: But we don't hang out.
We don't chill and talk about our, our work.
We're not friends.
MARIANA: So it's compartmentalized?
JOE: Of course. I separate myself completely.
MARIANA: But there is a person at the top, I'm assuming?
JOE: You would assume, yeah. MARIANA: You would assume, okay.
One of the things that we've heard is that people that are
making LSD, that there are some chemists out there that
are making millions of dollars.
JOE: That's correct.
MARIANA: Are you making millions of?
JOE: I'm not gonna tell you that.
MARIANA: Do you even know the chemist that makes the LSD?
JOE: No.
MARIANA: And if you did, do you think he'd talk to us, basically?
JOE: Absolutely not. MARIANA: But you are.
JOE: Sure.
Those people, to say that they're camera shy would be an understatement.
Like a hermit. Beyond a hermit.
I really doubt it.
MARIANA: The irony, of course, is that even as the makers of
the drug remain a mystery, the users I've spoken with are
only too eager to taut the drug's power in helping them
work through trauma, like PTSD.
MATT: Oh, damn.
So, I enlisted in the military when I was 19 years old.
Here I am in 2006 going to Iraq for the first time.
MARIANA: Oh, that's you.
MATT: Yeah, this is me right here.
Yeah, I was, I was probably 20, 21 there, actually.
Iraq was such a hot combat zone that I didn't really know what
I was getting into.
I volunteered for a job which involved scanning the roads for,
for bombs, for roadside bombs.
MARIANA: Mm-hmm. MATT: For IEDs.
I drove this, this vehicle called The Husky.
It was a, it was a metal detector and the vehicle behind
it would drive up and it had a giant robotic arm,
which would inspect the area right there.
MARIANA: Mm-hmm.
MATT: So we dealt with a lot of live explosives.
MARIANA: IEDs, at this point,
were the number one killer of soldiers...
MATT: Yeah.
MARIANA: American soldiers in Iraq.
MATT: Oh yeah. We found, like, 1,600 roadside bombs in a year.
MARIANA: Wow. MATT: Yes.
MARIANA: And your job was to go out and look for IEDs?
MATT: Oh yeah.
And I would rather take the explosion than let my, my fellow,
my fellow comrades take it.
MARIANA: One day, Matt was tasked with clearing what
the Army calls, "Black routes."
MATT: We were going in, like, uncharted lands,
and we didn't know what was buried in there.
We were the ones that would made black routes green.
We would make them safe again for people.
That day, I remember going through villages,
and most of the time people would wave at you and
be so happy that you were there.
And we happened to go through a village and, you know,
absolutely nobody was there.
And immediately that fear is in your stomach.
(explosion)
MARIANA: Ooh. MATT: Yeah.
I didn't happen to find the, the, the bomb in time.
It went off and destroyed my vehicle.
It cut my communications off from my team and
I was just kind of sitting there.
(radio static)
MARIANA: The force of the blast knocked
Matt unconscious for several minutes.
MATT: I had to jump from the top of that vehicle to the concrete.
MARIANA: And were you injured?
Were you, what were you feeling at this moment?
MATT: Nothing. Just pure adrenaline.
I'm getting shot at.
MARIANA: And you were being shot at the same time?
MATT: Oh yeah, yeah. After I got blown up, yeah.
(rapid gunfire)
I remember just running, and running, and running.
At the time, being so young and stuff, I, I, I,
I told them my back hurt and I told them I was,
I was in pain, and, uh,
I kinda didn't, I didn't take care of it.
I didn't take it seriously.
I just kind of let it ride and
I had actually injured myself pretty bad.
MARIANA: Matt had a damaged spine and nerves,
injuries that would be compounded by years of physical
and mental stress in war-zones.
He served two tours in Iraq and another in Afghanistan,
before returning home to Minnesota.
MATT: So the lowest point after, after I got out of the military,
landed a really good job and,
and things kind of, kind of fell through
with that, and, uh, I didn't feel too good about myself.
I had all this time and I started to just dwindle away.
And pretty soon I was in bed just not even, not even leaving.
And just, just laying there.
MARIANA: That's been particularly hard on his two sons.
MATT: I don't have a very good relationship with them,
because of the PTSD.
It's just, it's so inconsistent.
You're just not there.
You're not, you're not there when you should be.
And like, I don't, you can't help it,
you wanna be, but you just sit there and you can't do it.
You just physically can't with your mind.
And you just, it's like you're protecting yourself,
but you have these children that needs you.
MARIANA: Mm-hmm. MATT: It's really hard.
You know, I had, I had thoughts of, like, it's,
it's time to go.
You can, nobody, you know, nobody cares about you.
Just go ahead and kill yourself.
MARIANA: Matt says he tried every FDA approved drug for PTSD
but felt like nothing was working.
MATT: So in those days when you take the, the medicine from, from the VA,
you just essentially become a sitting zombie.
There's no life, you're just a vegetable.
I told a buddy what was going on and he, he kind of talked to me,
and he said, "I have this acid."
And I was like, I was like, "An acid?"
He's like, "Yeah, you've never taken acid before?"
What I figured, I had nothing to lose.
I had this little piece of paper and I kind of laughed and,
you know, "What would it do?"
And I, I put it in my mouth.
♪ ♪
THERAPIST: Okay, Matt.
Well, it's that time for the medicine.
And as you know, that we here at Akasa Journeys
don't provide the medicine, we just sit for you.
You checked it out, you know your sources.
MATT: Yeah, my medicine's safe.
THERAPIST: Very good.
♪ ♪
MARIANA: After years of struggling with PTSD and
on the brink of suicide, Iraq veteran, Matt,
says he turned the corner after a first time at
home dose of LSD.
MATT: I remember I got out of bed and I took a shower,
and I put clothes on and I came out of the room,
and interacted with everybody.
And I played with my kids.
We had the best night ever.
The thing in my mind was gone, there was no fear.
MARIANA: So, that one time alone changed you completely?
MATT: Yeah, where I don't want to kill myself anymore.
And everybody needs to see this and experience it.
MARIANA: And that is what led Matt to seek out
a new form of underground treatment for trauma.
One that uses talk therapy and guided tripping sessions
under the influence of illegally sourced LSD.
MATT: I'm, I'm pretty nervous.
I'm ready to almost grab this blanket and prepare myself for blastoff.
THERAPIST: Okay.
MARIANA: It takes nearly an hour before Matt even begins to feel
the LSD in his system.
He's nervous about where the trip might take him.
THERAPIST: Yeah, you just wanna let that stuff flow.
You know, when you had that accident and got blown up,
and then you were left alone for a while.
You know, that's a very tough experience.
You know, it's an unfolding.
You know, 'cause psychedelics open a door to a stairway.
And it may be difficult, you know,
and that's part of the process.
MATT: I don't know.
You're, like, you're playing heads or tails,
if it's going to be a good time, or a bad time.
If you're going to have to deal with something traumatic.
MARK: If you look at something like PTSD,
it's a tape loop...
(rapid gunfire)
That horrible experience replays itself again and
again and again.
And it's triggered.
It's triggered uncontrollably.
MARIANA: Earlier in my investigation,
I talked to researchers in Vancouver who helped shed light
on why psychedelics can be so effective in therapy.
MARK: Traditional treatments can go there and find the tape loop,
but they trigger the tape loop and there's a huge fear response.
Psychedelics allow access to the unconscious mind.
You can actually go there and find the tape loop without
the big fear response.
You can go into the tape loop and essentially release its energy.
MARIANA: But the optimism around psychedelics
doesn't exist in a vacuum.
ERIC (over TV): The people who called police said the man,
who was apparently high on LSD,
was acting erratically and actually attacked another man.
(yelling)
MARIANA: Retired DEA agent Dennis Wichern is quick to
point out there's no shortage of tragic incidents in either
case files or the evening news.
DENNIS: On the law enforcement side,
you see the pain and misery by a family member when their, their child's
taken it and had some effect, you know,
like death or effect that's lifelong.
One decision is forever life changing.
MARIANA: In truth, there are no known overdose deaths from pure LSD.
But that's not to say there's no risk,
either from impairment under the influence,
or from pre-existing conditions.
So before knowing anything about LSD,
what were your thoughts?
MATT: I mean, drugs, in general, were, were horrible.
That's what, that's what my community believes.
MARIANA: They don't approve of it?
MATT: No, no they don't.
We're labeled as drug addicts and,
generally bad people because of the choices we make.
MARIANA: Have you explained to them what it's done to you?
MATT: They don't want to, people don't wanna listen to it.
But this truly improved mental health.
I take no medication now and I just finished
my first semester of college, full-time.
And I got 3.85 GPA, so.
MARIANA: Nice, congrats. MATT: This is, yeah, thanks.
This is, this is doing great things.
MARIANA: What are you studying? MATT: I'm studying psychology.
MARIANA: Matt still has bad days,
but he credits LSD with helping to get his life back on track.
And he's not alone.
It's these stories of transformation that inspire me
to keep looking for one of these ever elusive chemists.
Through some mix of persistence and luck,
it finally happens in a broken down school bus in Wyoming.
♪ ♪
MARIANA: So, how did you become a chemist?
CASEY: You know, I took LSD.
Changed my life.
Set me free.
Unleashed my mind.
MARIANA: After months of searching for a chemist,
I finally found one in Wyoming.
Casey Hardison is known in certain circles
as a drug wizard.
We have spoken to so many people about their first acid trip and
I think you're the first person that even
gets emotional when you talk about this.
Why?
CASEY: I experienced freedom.
I experienced complete, absolute peace.
Complete relief from all of my cares, concerns,
and anxieties, and hang-ups,
and I had just had an immensely profound spiritual awakening.
MARIANA: So, you know how to make every drug out there, right?
CASEY: No. But I could, could follow any protocol.
MARIANA: Mm-hmm.
CASEY: There's no protocol out there that I couldn't,
you know, get the equipment,
set up the reaction and complete the process.
LSD needs a lot more precision.
And you also need to know what you're doing.
You need to know how to run a laboratory.
MARIANA: You were in the UK working? You had a lab in England?
CASEY: Yeah. Yeah.
Matter of fact, I even said the words to a friend,
"I think I'm flying under the radar."
MARIANA: Mm-hmm.
CASEY: I had no idea that they were out in a field way across
from me in a horse box, listening, watching, observing.
MARIANA: And then what happened that day?
CASEY: I worked in a lab for a while.
Then I went up to a bar called The Sanctuary,
and they came in, one of the detectives leaned over and said,
"I'm here to arrest you for being concerned in
the manufacturing of controlled drugs."
And I just said, "How do you wanna do it?"
You know, I was high, actually, I was on LSD at the time,
"As peacefully as possible."
I'm like, "That works for me."
MARIANA: At the height of your production as a chemist,
how much were you making?
CASEY: A little under 200 grams.
Not a lot, you know.
Enough. But not, not, not, not massive.
Not like kilos, some other people are doing.
MARIANA: And why not?
CASEY: Limited ergotamine supplies.
MARIANA: So were you doing it for the money, or the ideals?
CASEY: Dude, I was doing it for the alchemical adventure.
MARIANA: Was there a part of you that was doing it for the money?
CASEY: You know, if I worked hard I could make 50,000 a month.
Didn't have to work that hard. You know.
MARIANA: That's a lot of money.
CASEY: Yeah. MARIANA: Was your stuff good?
CASEY: My stuff was delicious.
You know, smelled like grape popsicles,
strangely enough.
They say it's odorless, tasteless, colorless.
Well it is, and it's a crystal.
But as an oil it smells like grape popsicles.
MARIANA: So we've been trying to find an LSD chemist to talk
to us for months and no one is willing to talk to us.
Why do you think that is?
CASEY: Life sentences. Federal mandatory minimums.
MARIANA: And why are you talking to us?
CASEY: 'Cause I'm not practicing.
I'm not, uh, I'm not concerned.
I've already served my time, done my sentence and I'm,
you know, shamelessly, proud of my accomplishments.
The war on drugs is a war on people and we can't possibly
win a war on people.
It cost us all that gangster criminal trafficking.
Clogs the prison system.
It's not working.
The idea that you are going to extinguish people's desire
to alter their mental functioning is, um,
that's the craziest idea ever.
MARIANA: I mean, do you think you could put us in touch with a chemist?
CASEY: When considering such a question,
it brings to mind what I lost in being arrested.
I knew my purpose.
I knew who I was, what I was up to,
and the law took that away.
And I'm not sure I wanna risk that for them.
That was my greatest joy.
And now I can't do the thing I want to do most.
I truly believe in the transformation that
psychedelics can, can catalyze.
And these chemists know that they're making a molecule that
causes that transformation.
They believe they're making a difference and
I don't wanna take that from them.
I don't want them to lose that.
I lost it.
I (bleep) want it back.
I want the freedom to alter my mental function as I see fit and
to make molecules to help others to do the same.
That's all I want.
MARIANA: I've met plenty of drug dealers who've done hard time in prison.
But I've never seen one weep as he describes being robbed of
what he calls his purpose.
Perhaps I shouldn't be surprised.
After all, indigenous communities have used
psychedelics in spiritual and therapeutic ceremonies
for thousands of years.
Some say it's time for the rest of us to catch up.
Captioned by Cotter Media Group.