Paola Alliata
is an elementary school librarian,
who, for the last several decades,
has resided in Brownsville, Brooklyn,
at 2520 Elton Street, apartment 2K.
It is here that she has spent her free time
creating oil paintings, mostly for herself
or, sometimes, as Christmas gifts
for friends or family.
- Mrs. Alliata? - Yes.
- Hi. Um, my name's Darby Carter.
Uh, I'm really sorry to barge in on you like this.
I know. I know.
I found this painting at a flea market,
and I think it might be yours,
so I tracked you down.
I own a gallery,
and we're always looking for new voices,
and I was wondering if you had any more work.
Come on in.
You're welcome.
I don't know; She thinks it might be a new tooth,
but he's waking up, like, five times a night,
and I'm so tired, I'm starting to hallucinate.
Why are you still taking him into bed with you?
- I thought we broke that. - No, it's just easier
to fall back asleep if he's in bed with me,
on my boob. When I try to take him out
and put him in the crib, I'm wide-awake again.
And the other day, I fell asleep on the train,
and the stroller rolled to the other side of the car,
and some woman woke me up and shamed me.
Okay, well, can you just promise me that
you'll only take the train with him during the day?
Yeah, it's fine.
Nothing's gonna happen.
- It's just... fuck. - What?
- Fuck. I dropped this fucking thing.
I don't know... whatever it's called.
- Pacifier? - Jesus.
Thank you.
- I got it. - And can you please bring
the vaccination card
into day care? Thank you.
- Oh, shit. Yes.
I forgot. Yeah.
I'll take it when I pick him up on Thursday.
No, it'll be too late by then.
They barely let him in today.
- I'll just email it to them. - No.
It has to be a... the hard copy. Just never mind.
I'll just take care of it myself.
No, no, I can do it.
It's fine.
- Can you hang up? My...
- My hands are full. - All right.
- I'll talk to you later, then. - Thank you.
Mm-hmm.
The mail is fascinating.
Come on.
Ooh! So much fun.
The arrival of Theo Arber Jeong
had turned Darby's life into a viscous soup.
Her senses had been both sharpened and dulled,
her brain and body reduced an animal state.
I know. I know.
Okay.
Life is weird, little man.
So weird.
Who's the best little New York City baby ever?
It's you.
Yes, it's you.
Did you do those paintings that are in the corner?
They're kind of weird, but they're kind of pretty.
- Hey. - Mom?
- Yes? - Please don't try to get him
to take his first steps when I'm on my way out the door
on my first night away ever.
Honey, he's not nearly ready to walk.
Look at his little bow legs.
Okay, I've pumped enough milk that you should be good
- until tomorrow. - There's Mommy.
But if you need more, there's some in the freezer.
Just please, um, check the dates
and start with the oldest ones first.
Honey, don't you think it's time
to think about letting go of the nursing?
I did your laundry, and there wasn't
a single article of clothing that wasn't covered
- with breast milk. - You know, a lot of people
don't know this, but the breast milk changes
in the second year. There's a whole different set
of nutrients that the baby needs.
And... oh, God.
I feel like I'm gonna burst into tears.
Why do I feel this awful about leaving him?
Oh, every mother feels that way, honey.
- It's completely biological. - Yeah, I know.
It's just, I've been looking forward to this for weeks.
You know, I got my hair done, and I packed
two pairs of Spanx. I'm supposed to be...
And I just... I feel like I'm gonna spend
the entire time just feeling guilty.
- Well, shit. Lose the guilt.
That never did anyone any good.
You're not even leaving the city, Darby.
I know.
I just... I wanna do everything right,
and I have, you know, like, all these books
on parenting, but then I don't have time to read them
'cause I'm parenting.
It's... it just feels like I'm failing all the time.
- Is it always this hard? - Well, the kid doesn't come
- with a manual, does he? - I do get mad sometimes,
just that it all falls to me.
You know, Augie's a great dad,
but men get off so easy.
Honey, I'm gonna tell you something
that you might not wanna hear.
The buck stops with you now.
No man can do what we do,
and no one would ever expect him to.
And if he did, he'd be considered
the hero of the year.
Great.
Well, now I feel so much better.
Well, but here's the good news.
The moms get all the best stuff
on the B-side.
I mean, look at us.
What, I just have to wait 30 years?
More or less.
Are you gonna leave those in?
No, I'm gonna take them out when I get to the hotel.
- Okay, don't... - God.
I won't forget.
Carter?
Yes, I have a corner king above the tenth floor.
I'm so sorry, Ms. Carter.
Looks like there is a mix-up.
There are no longer any corner kings available.
Seriously?
I requested one when I booked it.
I talked to somebody named Siena.
I confirmed it more than once.
- I'm Siena. - Hi.
I have a baby, Siena.
I haven't slept in a year,
and my mom flew from Los Angeles
so that I could have this one night.
So, please. I'm begging you.
I need this.
I do apologize.
I can upgrade you to a suite
and have a bottle of wine sent to your room.
- Thank you, Siena. You're an angel.
- My sister just had twins. - Oh, that sucks.
Hi.
Um, can I get the cheeseburger, please?
Sitting alone in the serenity
of her hotel room, waiting for a slab of red meat
cooked by someone else,
Darby was almost able to form a thought
that was entirely her own.
But then the thought was drowned out
by the sound of her breast pump...
whispering what sounded like,
"whore house, whore house, whore house, whore house."
Room Service.
Just a second!
You can just leave it!
Thank God you guys are here. I barely know anybody.
Well, I think it's a lot of their AA people.
It's crazy how much changes
- in two years. - We've been stalking them
on Instagram to make sure Angelo's not a con man.
There's not that much to do in Minnesota.
- Hey, don't say that. - Sorry.
- I'm on tenure track. - Okay, okay.
Yeah, I don't see Sara as much
as I would like, but, you know,
the baby's kind of made me a hostage
in my own home. So...
- She's doing really well. - Yeah?
I got a 20-page letter.
I got a 25-page letter.
Yeah. I guess she just did
worse shit to me.
The only thing
crazier than Sara getting married
is Sara getting married in a church.
- I know. Well, especially 'cause
the last time we were hanging out,
she committed larceny.
While Darby had once considered marriage
the ultimate symbol of love's success,
she now knew firsthand how many people make that jump
for the wrong reasons, motivated by something
other than love.
- Friends, how lucky are we? How blessed are we?
And yet, in this moment,
she was struck by Sara's
beautiful connection with Angelo.
- With this ring... - I give you my hopes...
I give you my hopes...
- My dreams... - My dreams...
- And my heart. - Nana!
It's Nana.
She's busy.
You can take it. Take it, yeah.
- Yeah. - Sorry.
She sent it to voice mail.
And now, by the power vested in me
by the state of New York,
I pronounce that you are married.
You are husband, you are wife,
and you should kiss!
Whoo!
- Good luck, Sara! - It's your day!
I'm so jealous of that ceremony.
Like, can we have a big wedding?
- No, no, no, no, no. - You guys...
- Ab... - Have another ceremony.
- No! Please don't encourage her.
- You wanna pay for this? - Oh, come on.
Yeah, I'll pay for it. I'll chip in.
- Okay. - I'll start a Kickstarter.
Perfect, a big party.
Big, big party.
- You're up. - Thank you.
I was just about to write something,
and then I realized I've written the same thing
in about 100 of these, and I'm tired of myself.
Uh, well, just dig deep, you know?
Try not to fuck it up.
- Shit. I've never actually met Angelo.
Sorry, I'm just writing
something profound here.
Maybe I need a drink first.
Well, you know what Hemingway said.
"I'm gonna kill myself in Idaho"?
"Write drunk; Edit sober."
Oh, sure, everybody knows that one.
Do you wanna get your picture taken for the book?
Yeah.
Wanna come be in this with me?
I don't wanna do it alone.
I'm sure you'll be fine.
I'm feeling a little self-conscious.
Ugh, not as self-conscious as me.
My tits are about to start leaking,
so I'm good.
Not... no. Not, like, as a sexy thing.
Can I get a martini, dirty, please?
We have a mocktail called a "faux-jito,"
but I'm afraid we won't be serving alcohol tonight.
- No, come on. What is all this?
- Whatever. I'll have a faux-jito.
- Me too. Thank you.
Three faux-jitos.
- Darby, meet Angelo. - Angelo.
- Finally. - It's good to meet you.
You take care of this one.
- You look stunning. Hi.
So beautiful.
I'm so grateful you're here.
- See you later. - Yeah, of course.
- Go, go, go, go. - No, we're fine.
So now we're just figuring out co-parenting,
which is a lot of me doing
a lot of the work, so far.
Well... well, I bet you guys will figure it out.
- No, no, no. We will. We'll figure it out.
Or he'll complain about
being tired one more time,
and I will punch him in the face.
- Hello. - Hello again.
- Are you stalking me? This is my stalker.
Uh, actually, this is my table,
and you're the one who brought up the leaky breasts.
They're legitimately just leaking milk for my child.
So I am... yeah.
It will actually go to him now 'cause I was trying to
poison it with alcohol, but that's not gonna happen.
- Hey. - How you doing?
- Good, how are you? - I'm good, yeah. I'm Grant.
- I'm Mallory. - Hi. Taryn.
- Nice to meet you. - Grant,
I would like to say that I misjudged you.
- Oh, yeah? - I would really like
- to be your friend. - You're just using me
- for my flask? - Very much so, yeah.
- You guys want some? - Yeah, we'd also like to
- use you. - Yeah, I had a feeling
this was gonna be a dry wedding.
The only thing worse than going to
a wedding alone is going to a dry wedding alone.
Mm, have you noticed, um,
you talk about being alone a lot?
Everything all right over there?
Yeah, I think I'm gonna need a little bit more
of that liquor before we get into
my existential dread.
- By all means, then. Get dark.
- Okay, you guys. These Spanx are cutting off
the blood flow to my head.
- What up, bro? - Hey, congratulations.
But you look so beautiful.
I'm so happy for you, I'm gonna throw up
all over your dress.
- Shut up, you idiot. I love you.
Can we go find somewhere to hide?
'Cause I'm so tired of being "on."
- Yeah. Yeah, let's go.
No, this is good. Are you comfy?
Am I comfy?
No, that's a negative.
- Not comfy. - Oh.
Sara.
Whew!
I feel like I should say
something important right now,
but I'm gonna start crying again,
and I don't want to.
I feel like I cried every single day
my first year sober.
I was like, "Who is this loser I have to live with now?"
No, I was... I've been a weepy mess most days lately
'cause of the baby, so I'm like a total psychopath.
The neighbors are afraid of me.
So fucking crazy.
You are literally in charge of ruining
- someone's life right now. - Don't!
- Yeah! - Don't! Oh, my God.
That's all I think about.
Just like, "Darby",
don't pass down your damage, please."
He's so, like, perfect right now.
He's, like, small and vulnerable and so tiny.
- Dude. I'm sure you're a great mom.
I, honestly, just hope you have time to, like,
take care of yourself, you know.
Yeah, I am.
I'm trying, anyway.
Sweet one.
Darby, you know that my life would be horrible
or over if it wasn't for you.
I love you so fucking much.
I love you, Mama.
You're the mama.
Oh, my God. That's true.
- You hot little mamacita. - Actual...
Actual mother.
Have you spoken to Grant, by the way?
- Yeah. - He's the best.
And don't think that table assignment
- was an accidente,bitch. - Oh, my God.
I'm glad to see you're still out
of your fucking mind.
Talk to him.
- I'm talking to him. - He's British.
Yeah, he's British.
And he's, like...
Looks as delicious as some fish and chips.
All right, I'd like a scone.
A... ew.
I'd like a scone with jam.
- Oh, gosh. Yeah, get it.
- Here. Your dress is all in my way.
- So annoying. Will you just hold it for me?
- Guys, get the fuck out here. People, come on.
You go dance.
Oh.
Let's go.
Nine, eight, seven,
six, five,
four, three, two, one.
Happy New Year!
Happy New year!
Yeah, we recently found this amazing woman,
um, Paola Alliata.
She does these truly stunning oil paintings.
She's just been, like, sitting on decades of work
in total obscurity, and we're building
this whole exhibit around her for the spring.
- Mm. - Really exciting.
Cool, man.
Well, that's a lot cooler than me.
- Mm? - Yeah, I'm in a...
I'm in cybersecurity... at Etsy.
- Oh. No, somebody's gotta protect
all those mittens and the tin signs and shit.
But once, actually,
I thought I had a beat on a Russian troll farm,
but, really, it was just some kid who wanted
a bootleg Bart Simpson sweatshirt.
So it's pretty lame.
And I need to find something else to do with my life.
Yeah, well, we just
gotta find you something more fulfilling.
- Right? - Oh, you're gonna help me?
- Oh, yeah. I'm invested now.
- All right. - No, you gotta make the jump.
I did it. I didn't have health here
for a year and a half, but worth it in the end.
And, I mean, I was considering buying something for my kid
off of Etsy... I gotta be honest with you.
It didn't seem like a very secure site,
so, obviously, your heart's not in it.
Well, there you go.
It's pretty fucking cool that you're a mom.
That's a new one.
- No, seriously. It's cool, man.
I would much sooner have a kid than get married again.
Whoa, dropping bombs.
Oh.
That's it.
Mm.
What are you thinking?
Get drinks somewhere else?
Yeah, maybe just one.
I got 15 hours away from my kid.
- I'll make the most of it. - All right.
Oh, I have to do the guest book.
- Okay, I'm gonna get coats. - Great.
Mm.
Hi.
Sara, I'm so proud of you.
Sometimes, I wish things were what they used to be again,
but I also know that you're happy now...
so much happier,
and I can't even fucking explain the way it feels
to see that you found yourself.
You deserve everything, and no matter what,
I am gonna love you for my whole life.
Love, Darby.
So what's the situation between you and the dad?
- Mm. I still have Theo with me.
Oh, so you guys don't do the every-other-weekend thing?
Well, I'm sure we'll share custody at some point,
but he's tiny right now, and, as you know, I'm nursing.
And... yeah, he's with my mom tonight.
- Well, that's great. - Yeah.
You get to be out, free babysitter.
- Absolutely. - Take it.
Yeah, we used to spend most weekends at my grandma's.
My mom would drop us off on a Friday,
come get us on Sunday night,
so she got to have the whole weekend to herself.
- That's nice. - Yeah, I think my mom,
she was a bit of a party animal
- when she was young. - Oh.
I'll be honest. I've barely been out
since I had Theo, and even, like,
my one big chance, I miss him.
- Yeah. - You're great. Fantastic.
- But I miss my kid. - He probably misses you too.
- So what's your situation? - Me?
Yeah, you know, um,
like, how many women's lives have you destroyed?
- Oh. - Is... come on.
It's gotta be just broken hearts everywhere.
- No, come on. It hasn't always been my fault.
You know, sometimes, it just... just takes a while
to realize you're in the wrong relationship.
Yeah.
In my experience, it's usually about
three to six months.
- Oh. - Mm-hmm.
So you're, like, a serial dater?
Well, I was married.
- Okay. No, that's true. You did say that.
Yeah, we were actually gonna have a kid,
and, uh, we weren't having any luck.
So we went to see a fertility doctor,
who actually said...
my sperm... dynamite;
Her eggs... phenomenal.
They just, uh... they just don't want anything
to do with each other.
- Shit. That's tragic.
Yeah.
I mean... if I'm honest,
I think she just probably didn't wanna be
with someone who could blow a week's rent
on betting on the Champions League,
and, you know, I didn't wanna be with someone
who wasn't gonna call me out on it.
- So... - Oh, my God.
Those are red flags. Those are giant red flags.
- That was so many red flags. - I'm trying to get better.
But, you know, if you think about it,
if everyone had to be perfect before they fell in love,
human race would die out.
I mean, you're not wrong.
So what's it like being a mom?
Come on.
- No. - You don't have to ask that.
Nobody... nobody cares about moms.
I am genuinely fascinated and curious.
Oh, God, we're revealing a lot tonight.
I feel like I'm on a podcast.
- Um... - Excuse me.
I have just bared my soul to you.
- So... - Fine. Yeah.
I...
I look at the whole world differently.
- In what way? - Different things matter.
Um, I think about... Think about dying a lot.
- You do? - 'Cause somebody needs me now.
- And you didn't before? - Think about dying?
Not a lot. You think about dying?
I mean, yeah.
Maybe that means I'm secretly a father,
and I just don't know it.
Oh.
I mean, speaking of parenthood,
I do have to go back to my room and pump.
- Um... - Cool.
I mean... you into that?
I mean, not "no."
All right, you sick fuck.
- Let's get out of here. - All right.
You know, I thought before, I was gonna be
the sad, old loner in there tonight.
- Oh, yeah? - And I wasn't, so thank you.
No, you still got sad loner vibes.
- Oh, yeah? - Yeah, yeah.
Do you know, I've never been
punked this hard before,
and I kind of like it.
But seriously, if it's gonna be awkward
with me coming up and... this...
N... no, it's chill.
- Chill? - It's chill, yeah.
- It'll be funny. Come on. - Okay.
All right.
Kind of embarrassing how nice it is, right?
Mm.
Oh, thank God you made a move.
It was gonna be so awkward
if I actually had to go through with the whole pumping bit.
Yeah, I was never gonna let that happen.
Mm, sorry.
I just actually do really need to pump.
Um, maybe you should make me a drink.
Okay.
I'm gonna take this stuff into the bathroom,
pump really quickly,
and then my breasts will not be painfully turgid.
Cool.
I'm glad your breasts will be comfortable.
- Damn! - What?
It's, like, 150 bucks for $30 worth of Grey Goose.
Eh, fuck it, right?
- Let's do it. - Nah.
I'm gonna go to the store.
Um, vodka, yeah?
- Always. - All right.
See you in a sec.
It felt so good lying there on the bed,
knowing her son was safe
and that someone was looking after her for once.
As a result, Darby's limbs simply unwound
and her brain clicked off,
as if her body was showing her exactly what she needed.
Darby?
Hello?
Darby.
Hey.
- Hi. - Oh.
Yeah, that's right.
He bought the weapons from a third party in Kosovo.
Okay, I'll send you the transcript,
but just give me a call if you have any more thoughts
on that story.
Okay. Thanks, Bridget.
Yeah. It's okay.
- Hello. - Hi.
He said hi.
- How was the wedding? - It's good.
- Yeah? - It was weird.
Sara's got this, like, whole new life now,
which is obviously great, but...
- Yeah. - Kinda bittersweet.
- Uh-huh. - How was Kosovo?
Played some table tennis.
Turns out Asians are not the only ones
who take it very seriously.
Well, I hope you're ready to do this,
'cause you are not leaving this apartment
until our child sleeps through the night.
You hear that, Captain Poopy-pants?
You ready for some sleep training?
- Yeah. - 'Cause we are!
Hell yeah.
Come on, man.
That's not... It's not this kind of thing.
I need you at full capacity.
It's just CBD.
- Oh. Well, then, come on.
Is he asleep?
Says you're supposed to let him nurse until he's asleep.
Okay, he's out.
- Okay. Put him right in the crib.
No, I have to burp him first.
Yeah, no, but it says right here
that once he falls asleep,
you have to put him in right away.
Okay.
Okay, now you're supposed to rouse him
so that his eyes open just a little bit.
Why would I do that?
Apparently, he'll close 'em again almost immediately
and it... it teaches him to put himself back to sleep.
Yeah, I'll do it.
Hey, buddy.
Okay, okay, okay,
okay, okay, okay.
Oh, shit.
Fuck.
Shit.
No, I can't... I can't just listen to this...
- No, no, no. Come on, come on.
I know this fucking sucks.
Come on, come on.
I don't think this is any better.
At least he can't see us now.
Oh, fuck.
- Oh. - How long has it been?
Only 15 minutes.
- Oh, fucking hell. - Oh, this poor little guy.
- He's doing the... - Shh.
Okay.
- Hit the... - Shh.
Theo, go to sleep!
- Oh, come on. Come on.
You got this, buddy.
Come on, man.
Stop snoring.
Oh, sorry.
- Yeah. - Yay!
Sorry.
Um, you guys get locked out?
What?
Oh. Oh, fuck.
Oh, my...
Hey, little man!
Oh, my goodness!
We did it!
We're so proud of you, buddy.
Oh, can you believe we made this?
- Look at that face. - Yeah.
- Look at him. - Steel stare.
He gets that from you.
He looks exactly like you when he does that.
- Oh, thank you. - So intense.
Maybe Mama'll let you stay at my place
a few nights a month, huh?
- Yeah, maybe. Maybe.
- Probably. - Probably?
- Probably. - Okay, good.
Just, you know, no hookers when he's there.
Sure.
What about Destiny though? She's great with kids.
- You wanna go see Daddy? - Yeah?
- You wanna go see Daddy? Yeah. - Gonna come see me?
I see Daddy.
- Look at that. - Sleepy little angel.
Yeah.
I've just got the bacon, egg, and cheese coming.
- Okay. That's $5.27
$5.27.
Sorry.
Oh, God. Shit.
I'm so sorry. Um...
- Here. I'll get these.
- No, that's okay. I'll just...
- Um... - There you go.
- Wow. Uh, I'm so sorry, sir.
Yes, this kind gentleman will be paying for my sandwich.
Oh, my God!
Thanks for that. I'll pay you back.
- Yeah? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I know you're good for it.
This is great, actually.
I'm really glad I ran into you
so that you could see,
you know, just how beautiful I am
in the cold light of the bodega.
This is great.
I mean, you're looking pretty good to me.
Oh, Jesus.
You look like you're in an ad for this outfit.
- I do? - Yeah.
- Ah. Thank you.
So?
What are you getting into today?
Just feeding and changing diapers.
I thought we'd go for a walk.
Then some more feeding and changing diapers.
- This the little man? - Oh, yeah.
Theo, Grant. Grant, Theo.
- Hey. - Yeah.
Hey, Theo.
How you doing, bro?
- Oh, rude. - Okay.
- Thank you. - Yeah.
Here you go.
- That's for you. - Thank you very much.
- Take this. Thank you, mate.
Um, let me get the door.
Oh.
Darby didn't know it yet,
but this was her person
and would be for what remained of her days.
She would later realize that this particular moment
was contrary to many of her expectations.
For instance, she didn't suddenly feel
like a whole new person,
at long last fixed by the perfect partner.
Walking beside Grant, she didn't feel fireworks
or hear some loud marching band
"announcing itself like, "Here it is.
Here's love."
Instead, it was quiet and calming
and still.
Finally, Darby had stopped wondering
whether or not she was worth loving
and simply cracked herself open.
Simply cracked her whole life open.
After all,
it wasn't just hers anymore.
I can't get over Theo.
What a little dancer.
Oh, he gets it from his dad, not me.
And Grant's so cute with him too.
- I know. Kills me.
If only my ex-husbands were alive to see all this.
- Oh, my God! - Thank you, Darby.
- Oh, are you kidding? You're such a superstar.
Will you put her in an Uber for me, please?
You know what, splurge. Get an Uber Black.