You're back.
Was he funny?
No, he was not funny at all.
He was quite nervous.
He asked so many questions about you.
What did you tell him?
How was Sarah?
I mean, she's...
Young, excitable.
I don't know.
But she's gorgeous, right?
Eh...
She is! I saw her.
I mean, like...
Sure, but...
The whole small talk thing she was trying to do
was kind of awful, you know?
Hm.
We did some things...
Oh yeah?
Yeah, it was weird, he had different moves.
Like what?
Like... I don't know, he was trying to spell my name.
Elizabeth is a nine-letter word, it's pretty huge in Scrabble.
-Hm. -Good for him.
Then he put his hands--
You know, that's my capacity for details, thanks.
Good night.
Did you wear a condom?
Come on, really?
I have to ask.
Oh.
Yes, but I didn't put it in.
Did she not let you after you used the phrase "put it in"?
Huh?
Are you okay? Are you okay? Are you okay?
Yes, I am.
I love you.
I love you too.
Was it weird?
Yeah, a little bit, but it was fun.
But I'm happy to be back here with you.
Me too.
Good morning Los Angelinos. It's 08.07 am and a balmy 77 degrees.
The freeways are looking good,
and to be perfectly honest with you, LA...
Oh God, I'm just going to say it, I'm feeling optimistic!
You know those days when you just feel like "Yeah, I've got this.
I'm living a great life.
I'm happy, healthy, successful,
and most importantly, I'm in control."
Today, Los Angeles, that is I.
Holler at me if you're having a great morning on 818 833 6000.
Hey Ralph. What's up, buddy?
-Hey. -Hey there little man.
-Hey, sir! -Mikey!
Hey, did you just call me sir?
Yep.
Do I look like a knight to you?
-Yeah. -Yeah?
Yeah.
Do you want to, um...
play with Lady Libby and I for a bit, since you're here so early?
-Morning! -Yeah?
-Would you play with me? -Um...
Yeah, I could, I just have to go to work,
so I wouldn't, I wouldn't want to get, like,
like, you invested in the game,
and then I have to leave before we're finished,
and you feel abandoned.
Hey. Lady Libby doesn't know how to talk to knights your age.
But, you know, I'll play with you.
High five. Boom! Get out of here.
Never fails to amaze me how bad you are with kids, huh.
Come on.
We're going to be late.
Go with your work wife.
Take care of her for me, okay?
I always do!
-Hey. -Hey.
How are you?
-Good. -Okay.
You know, I suggested it to my husband.
We discussed it, and he said if I hooked up with anyone else,
he'd kill me.
His exact words were, "I would stab you with your favorite knife."
Adam must be like a pig in shit.
Hm. It was my idea.
-You make me sick. -No!
We're going to be together for ever and ever, and I just don't want...
to grow up
and resent him.
What if you fall in love with someone?
No, I won't.
And he won't.
We have rules.
One: only from the app. Two: only one night.
It's just a little adventure,
and it keeps us exciting to each other.
Honestly, I think we have cracked monogamy.
Absolutely.
Keep going...
Mm-hm. Still love you.
Kiss me.
Kiss you?
-Oh shit! -What?
Somebody wanting to hook up?
No, it's not from the app.
Not that app, anyway...
You're angry?
What makes you say that?
We don't have secrets.
It was an accident.
Oh what, you just slipped and fell and...
found your soulmate?
I took it years ago, Adam.
Years ago, when you were twelve?
When we were on a break, remember?
What break? When? Hm?
When I said I might not want kids.
Listen.
You're scared of kids, that's all, okay?
We've worked on it, and whatever you decide, I'm fine.
I'm over it.
I know, but I thought it was the only time that we might be done,
so I took the test.
And nothing came up,
which I took as a sign that you were my soulmate,
and I should forget about it.
Who is he?
Stop it!
This is so weird!
-It's so weird. -It's insane.
You're honestly not bi or gay?
Yeah, I kissed a few girls in college.
More to impress frat guys, but I, uh...
I was a really bad feminist back then.
I'm much better now.
It's cool you came here.
On vacation.
I'm a substitute teacher, so, you know, a lot of free time.
Oh, you're kidding. Adam is a teacher too.
-Really? -Yeah.
-Oh, what do you teach? -Montessori elementary, 1 to 2.
Ah... Is that the "follow your bliss" one?
What do you teach?
Everything, at a very low level.
I am efficient in first grade of everything.
I think we should go and get a drink.
-Yeah! -That's a great idea.
No, I mean the two of us. If that's okay?
No, absolutely.
Yeah, you two should get to know each other.
I'll make us some dinner.
Oh no, no, I'm fine, I've eaten.
Don't worry about me.
Then I'll grab something somewhere.
Okay, cool.
I, I, uh... I looked up some of your art.
-You what? -Mm-hm.
No way! Well it's definitely not, not art.
-Shut up! -It's corporate.
It's just whatever the client wants it to be, so...
I... It was great. I...
-No, shut up. -Yeah!
I think it must be so frustrating though,
you know, having to fight them all the time.
No, no, I gave that up a long time ago.
You know, I just do what they want me to do and then I go home. It's...
I'm much happier this way.
I was with this guy for like, nearly a year,
it's the longest relationship I've ever had,
and I walk in on him,
and he's shopping for a ring.
-No way! Shit. -Yeah. So I panic, and I shout,
"I think we're soulmates, and we should take the test to prove it."
So basically, you took the test
because you didn't know how to break up with someone?
-Yeah! Yeah! -Very nice!
I can't argue with that!
Were you, were you annoyed when you saw it was me?
I don't know, I, uh...
I guess the whole "having one person for everything",
uh, um, it sort of gives me the chills, so,
when I saw it was you, and that you're married,
I thought "Yeah, that makes sense",
because my soulmate would be like my best friend, not a partner.
Adam was so relieved.
I bet he was.
-Yeah, he was. -I...
I think he's really great.
Wow, he was so handsome.
Oh, Matt wanted to move in after, like, a month.
He didn't know the difference between love and co-dependence.
It was really sad.
I moved in to Adam's apartment after two weeks.
Oh...
I called it love.
Yeah, yeah. I'm sure it was.
I'm sorry.
No...
He was so handsome, you're crazy.
Stop, you'll make me regret it.
-What's this? -Wait, no, please--
Wait, wait, wait...
-Did you do these? -No, it's...
-I'm... a teacher. -You're an artist?
No, it's nothing, it's...
You're an artist. Why didn't you tell me?
I feel so stupid now.
Why aren't you doing this for a living?
They're magic.
Hey!
Adam, she's... She's great. She's, like, a real artist!
I feel we have known each other for years.
Like, it was so easy to talk to her--
Libby, should I be worried?
-What? -Should I be worried, seriously?
No, no.
We'll be, like, best friends.
You two should hang out.
You'll really, really like her.
You're not allowed to sleep with her.
What?
Seriously.
I'm not saying I would, but we've done that lots of times.
Yeah, but this is different. And if you sleep with her,
-I mean, it'll mean something. -No, you're worrying for nothing.
Promise me.
It would destroy us.
-You're being dramatic. -It would, do you not see that?
You're being paranoid.
Listen.
Listen, it's really good that she's here.
You should get to know her,
because there's nothing to worry about.
Okay?
Okay.
Oh my God.
-17, 18... -I can definitely do more than you.
Okay, keep going. 19, 20.
21, oh my goodness, 22.
-Not bad. -Wait, I'm not done.
23, 24, 25!
Okay, now you're making me look bad.
Why did you make me show off?
I didn't. You're the one acting like you're in a prison movie.
That's insane.
Jesus.
Hey.
-You sleep okay? -Yeah.
I made you breakfast, it's in the fridge.
Okay.
-Let's go! -Okay!
So as you can see, that's New Year's, so she was really really drunk, um...
Oh...
Very nice.
Oh wait, that's actually, uh...
-Santa Barbara, back in 2026. -Aw.
When we got married.
-Oh, look at you. -Mm-hm.
-So cute. -Thanks.
You look so in love.
Were you, uh, were you always sure, you know, from when you first met?
Yeah. I mean, when you know, you know, right?
-Oh! Hi. -Hey.
Hey.
-How are you feeling? -Good.
Good.
We should get going. We're going to be late.
Okay.
You know, you're right.
It was good to spend some time with her.
I really like her, she's cool.
I didn't like you showing her our wedding photos.
Are you being serious, babe? Come on.
It felt disrespectful, to her and to me.
Oh.
You are serious.
You might as well have peed in a circle around her.
It was embarrassing.
I was making friends, like you asked.
Well, be respectful of me--
Excuse me, I think I'm being incredibly respectful
of all of this.
Whatever you asked for, I've done it. You wanted to do the app, we did it.
You wanted me to meet your soulmate, we did it.
I've done everything.
So please don't sit here and tell me that I'm not being respectful, babe.
Oh, we're still meeting Miranda later, right?
This one is fascinating.
I mean, they're all great, but...
I like this one.
That's not the one they want. They say it's too quiet.
Yeah, but...
I mean, that's why it stands out.
Like when somebody whispers and you have to lean in, it's cool.
Yeah, it's cool.
Aw, she's so adorable!
Do you want to hold her?
Oh!
Hi!
I read a book that said
the more people that hold your baby in the first six months,
the more well-rounded they'll be.
Well then this is so important!
Look at you, you are so cute! Aren't you?
You're the cutest.
Oh hey...
-You want a hold? -No, no. No thanks.
I think she wants you to. Look.
No, no, no, I'm allergic to babies. She'll cry.
I think the baby's chosen you.
-No, no. No thanks. -Come on.
-Are you sure? -It's fine.
Okay, so...
You just have to hold her, like that.
And all she needs to know is that she's safe.
Hey?
Ah, there we go...
Hi.
See?
You're a natural.
Right. She's not crying.
Hi.
How come your longest relationship was only one year?
Because I'm a monster.
Because I've never had one I wanted to last longer.
Why not?
I don't know.
Okay, yeah, I do know.
Sad story?
Yeah, but you'll get over it.
Uh, so... My dad died when I was little,
and my mom was sick for all my life,
so between the age of 8 to 17, I was her caretaker.
That's sad, I'm sorry.
Yeah, and no. I mean, I, uh... I sort of resented her.
She didn't need as much help as she thought she did,
not for the first few years anyway.
So when she was gone, I vowed never to do that again.
You know, people can cope on their own.
We're all stronger than that, we're all fine.
You can even hold a baby if you have to.
It was really nice meeting you.
-You're excellent. -Aw.
-Thank you, Adam. -Yeah, of course.
Hey, I'm a hugger, come on.
You charmer!
I'll see you again.
You better.
I'm going to miss you.
Take care.
Why am I feeling this way?
Come on.
You go. Ready?
Sorry, babe.
Hey!
Oh! What is happening?
Nothing, we're just being silly and picking tomatoes.
Hm. You want one?
Hey, how are you?
Yeah, I'm... I'm really good, thank you.
Hey, we miss you. You should come back to stay with us.
I am just trying to find a free week.
-Guess what? -What?
I have a new boyfriend!
Really?!
What? What?
Yeah, he's a dad of one of the kids I teach.
He asked me out at a parent-teacher thing.
Is it allowed?
I don't know, but he's very sexy.
You should bring him with you next time you come over.
No! No.
It's way too soon for him to meet the fam.
Hey, I wanted to ask how it's been?
Do you mind if we don't talk today?
I mean, yes I do, but okay.
We should have an adventure.
We haven't done it in ages.
I thought you were done with that?
No...
Okay.
Sounds good.
You know what we haven't done yet?
What?
Daniel and Zora.
A couple?
That's some next-level shit.
-She's your type. -What?
-Married? -Surfer hair, big mouth...
Surfer hair, big mouth? All the things!
Hm?
I'm so lucky to have you.
What are you talking about?
Me too.
It tells you everything you need.
Energy. Ambition. Results.
Libby?
Hm.
I don't like it.
Excuse me?
It's generic.
Everyone's fighting for the biggest and the loudest,
so we should make it quieter.
To get people to notice you through all that noise,
you have to whisper.
It was amazing.
They went for it.
I was like, "Let's do something that actually looks good",
and they went "Yeah".
Cool, babe, I'm telling you, get your greatness, girl!
Miranda! Hey, guess what?
I just... I just want to see you.
That guy was awful. I... I didn't even like him, I...
I was just trying to distract myself. I want to see you all the time.
Hey.
Adam's working still, so I don't know--
What will Adam say?
I don't know.
I love you.
I love you too.
-It's out here. -Oh, this is so nice.
Wow!
This is Daniel and Zora.
You know, I told you, I just...
It's not the same, you know?
They were from an app.
An app.
And you promised me.
I didn't promise you, you made an ultimatum.
That's different, Adam.
No! Look, she's your goddamn soulmate.
Something was bound to happen.
Do you love her?
But I love you too. So much.
But you can't have us both.
-Why not? -Because it doesn't work that way.
Why not?
I told you.
I...
I told you, this would destroy us.
It doesn't have to.
Yes, it does.
No.
Yes.
Unless you choose.
You cannot...
You cannot ask me...
You cannot ask me to do that.
Please, Adam.
Her or me.
Adam...
Her...
Or me.
Morning!
Hey! Sorry, I didn't make breakfast.
Ah don't worry, I'll grab something at work.
Are you excited?
Ugh, why did you convince me to do this? I'm just a teacher!
Everyone will love it, you'll see. I promise.
Coffee?
No, actually I have to go get the posters, so...
Okay...
I didn't forget.
Good luck with the presentation, you are going to kill it.
Thank you.
I love you.
I love you too.
-Okay, bye! -Okay.
Doors opening.
Honestly, I love new you.
You are incredible.
I can't believe they went for it.
-You are kicking all kinds of-- -Great job, Libby.
I got to go pee.
It's clear, it's specific...
-I think it's bold. -Exactly.
Miranda, her eye, right? There's something missing from her eye?
I get it. You're saying life is always unfinished.
I didn't really think about it, no.
-No? -Nuh-uh.
I think it's about time, no?
-It's like-- -Hey, that was great!
-Oh, thanks. -Oh my gosh!
It's like the candle is going to cover you.
That's huge.
-Hey! -Hello!
Hi! Oh, sorry.
Um, congrats on the piece!
Congratulations!
Cheers!
-You're snoring. Again. -What? I'm not.
Just try sleeping on your side, okay?
But there are a lot of people with fine art degrees
that aren't doing art either.
Does that mean they can't, and that means,
does it mean that I shouldn't be?
All it means is a type of validation,
once again, we're disempowering ourselves.
-So self-doubt... -Psst!
...is part of the game.
-Psst! -Success is pushing on through
that self-doubt and getting the job...
Would you still love me if I looked like this?
Teach yourself everything you learn.
If your nose was broken?
No, if I, if I like...
looked like this?
...a certificate on the wall.
Do you have to give up your day job?
Uh-huh.
Okay, this is a question I've wrestled with over the years.
One thing I can say without doubt is, there's no...
Are you getting out, or not?
I don't want to give him my cold.
You're a psychopath, you know that?
-Hey. -Hey, how's it going?
-Hey. -Hey!
Good.
I think I've come down with something.
Oh, well you should rest.
We can go out, and you can sleep, yeah?
Um, no. No, we'll go. Um...
Gerry's playing later at Los Ochos if you're still up.
Okay.
See you, Libby.
-See you later. -Bye, guys.
You didn't even say hi to them.
You've had people every night this week.
I thought you liked having fun?
I do.
But sometimes, when I'm sick,
I just like to stare at the TV with my girlfriend.
I moved here for you.
I got a new job, I changed my life.
Still that's not enough for you?
You're just freaking out because I have a cold.
No I'm not.
You haven't even kissed me hello.
Yeah, well, it's not good if we both get sick, is it?
Yeah, sure.
I thought you might...
Never mind.
Might what?
I don't know, take care of me for a minute?
I have a cold, not the plague!
-When Adam was sick-- -I am not Adam.
I am not kind,
and nurturing, and funny, and laidback.
I am not like him.
It's just, I need my space, I am stressed, and I--
I don't know how to do this.
I thought that taking the test would fundamentally change me,
but it hasn't. I'm still the same.
I still feel like I just want to run away.
This all just happened so fast.
And I love you.
So, so much.
But I just don't know how to do it.
I wish Adam was here.
You're really going to make me sick.
Alright, everybody in!
Come on! Time to go inside.
Three options.
Either you go in, we get arrested,
or I kill you.
Come on, get out of my car. Just...
Go do a speech.
Hi.
I was wrong to choose her.
I should have tried to... make it work.
With both of you.
When did you get so greedy?
Hm. Wouldn't it be great, though?
You know, I, um...
I thought about fighting for you most days.
But there was no point.
I'd lost.
I knew it the day I saw you with the baby in the café.
And you weren't having a full-blown panic attack.
It was extraordinary, you know?
She did that.
Not me.
But you feel like home.
You're my heart.
You make me feel like everything's going to be okay.
You always have.
I took the test.
Okay.
We spoke,
and, um, she's English.
Tom-ah-to?
Tom-ah-to.
Tom-ah-to...
She's flying over next week.
Don't you think there's a way to make it work?
Hi.
Hey.
Hi.
So we're really hoping that you don't freak out.
Okay.
This is my wife, Libby.
Hi. You're very pretty.
And this is her soulmate, Miranda.
He's told us so much about you, he really likes you.
I love him. We've been together since I was eighteen.
And I love her too. We're good together, but not perfect.
But whatever she doesn't get from me, she gets from Miranda.
I love Libby, but I don't want her all the time,
because commitment sends me crazy, because of my mother.
And I want you in my life, because ever since we spoke on the phone,
I just knew you were meant for me.
Right.
I'm sure you weren't expecting this,
but we all thought that we could maybe be together?
It might take the pressure off, you know?
It's kind of crazy to expect one person to be your everything.
If you want to walk away now, none of us will judge you.
Um...
Could we maybe just, um...
Start with a coffee?
Baby steps.