1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,839 This programme contains some scenes which some viewers may find 2 00:00:04,840 --> 00:00:07,240 upsetting, strong language, and some violent scenes 3 00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:18,880 MILITARY DRUMS PLAY 4 00:00:39,680 --> 00:00:41,400 MILITARY BAND PLAYS 5 00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:39,160 CHATTERING 6 00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:55,559 My truck is running low on fuel, 7 00:01:55,560 --> 00:01:57,599 so the rest must be the same. 8 00:01:57,600 --> 00:01:59,600 Permission to bring up the fuel trucks? 9 00:02:02,680 --> 00:02:06,079 Tobruk is in 120 miles. 10 00:02:06,080 --> 00:02:08,079 We need to refuel. 11 00:02:08,080 --> 00:02:09,719 Yes... 12 00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:11,439 ..I know. 13 00:02:11,440 --> 00:02:15,760 Right. So you should give the order to bring up. 14 00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:26,239 Oh, please tell me that we brought petrol trucks with us 15 00:02:26,240 --> 00:02:27,920 on this convoy. 16 00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:35,679 As a matter of fact, we didn't. 17 00:02:35,680 --> 00:02:40,639 I've been watching my own fuel gauge moving inexorably toward empty, 18 00:02:40,640 --> 00:02:44,079 and I worked out that what it must be, you see, 19 00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:48,639 is that the convoy has been fuelled with just enough petrol 20 00:02:48,640 --> 00:02:51,760 for a journey of 500km. 21 00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:54,959 Right. 22 00:02:54,960 --> 00:02:57,879 But the journey from Cairo to Tobruk 23 00:02:57,880 --> 00:02:59,800 is 500 miles, old boy. 24 00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:03,040 Indeed. 25 00:03:04,320 --> 00:03:08,079 There are Frenchmen, you see, 26 00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:10,319 in the Transport Department. 27 00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:12,159 Frenchman. Right. 28 00:03:12,160 --> 00:03:13,560 That'll be it. 29 00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:21,239 So, we will not reach Tobruk 30 00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:23,079 and the siege of Tobruk will not be relieved 31 00:03:23,080 --> 00:03:25,359 and the bombs and the shells will continue to fall 32 00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:26,960 and hundreds more men will die? 33 00:03:28,920 --> 00:03:30,200 Yes. 34 00:03:31,560 --> 00:03:33,759 Stirling, I don't care who your father was, 35 00:03:33,760 --> 00:03:36,559 you are supposed to address me as "sir". 36 00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:37,600 Uh-huh. 37 00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:47,199 MUSIC: If You Want Blood (You've Got It) by AC/DC 38 00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:48,520 Piss off. 39 00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:53,280 MUSIC CONTINUES 40 00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:02,559 Agh! 41 00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:05,519 BON SCOTT OF AC/DC SINGS: # It's criminal! 42 00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:09,159 # There ought to be a law 43 00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:11,719 # Criminal! 44 00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:15,439 # There ought to be a whole lot more 45 00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:18,799 # You get nothin' for nothin' 46 00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:22,279 # Tell me who can you trust 47 00:04:22,280 --> 00:04:25,759 # We got what you want 48 00:04:25,760 --> 00:04:28,599 # And you got the lust 49 00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:32,319 # If you want blood 50 00:04:32,320 --> 00:04:35,279 # You got it! 51 00:04:35,280 --> 00:04:39,079 # If you want blood 52 00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:42,279 # You got it! 53 00:04:42,280 --> 00:04:44,839 # Ah-ooh! 54 00:04:44,840 --> 00:04:46,839 # O positive! 55 00:04:46,840 --> 00:04:48,800 ANGUS YOUNG OF AC/DC PLAYS GUITAR SOLO 56 00:04:59,280 --> 00:05:00,959 # Aye-ah! 57 00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:02,159 WAVES CRASHING 58 00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:05,640 GUITAR SOLO CONTINUES 59 00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:16,319 # Whoa! 60 00:05:16,320 --> 00:05:22,360 CAR HORN BEEPS 61 00:05:25,120 --> 00:05:28,919 There will be another fuck-up by GHQ tomorrow! 62 00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:29,960 MUSIC CONTINUES 63 00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:40,559 # Blood on the rocks! 64 00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:44,399 # Blood on the streets! 65 00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:47,639 # Blood in the sky! 66 00:05:47,640 --> 00:05:50,719 # Blood on the sheets! 67 00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:52,559 # If you want blood... # 68 00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:54,920 GUITAR FADES OUTS BELL DINGS 69 00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:01,119 Ah, yes. 70 00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:02,559 Whisky! BANGS BAR 71 00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:04,159 I won! 72 00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:06,439 I won, I won, on a horse called Smokey. 73 00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:07,999 CHUCKLES 74 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:10,359 Girls didn't make it tonight because of the rain. 75 00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:11,839 Ah. 76 00:06:11,840 --> 00:06:14,079 Ah, invited to feel regret, 77 00:06:14,080 --> 00:06:16,159 he felt no regret. 78 00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:17,639 I like you. 79 00:06:17,640 --> 00:06:19,279 You know why? 80 00:06:19,280 --> 00:06:21,919 Because if I tell you a joke, you pretend that it's funny. 81 00:06:21,920 --> 00:06:25,120 So here goes, "Why did the chicken not reach the end of the road?" 82 00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:28,239 Because... 83 00:06:28,240 --> 00:06:31,879 ..it was a chicken who had volunteered for the Commandos, 84 00:06:31,880 --> 00:06:33,999 the British Commando Regiment. 85 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:35,599 So the order came down from GHQ 86 00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:37,999 for the chicken to set off down the road. 87 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:40,359 The fucking road. CHUCKLES 88 00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:42,319 And so the chicken packed up his equipment, 89 00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:45,599 wanked off his reckless urges, prayed to God, got in his vehicle, 90 00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:47,839 set off down the road, and then they're ahead, 91 00:06:47,840 --> 00:06:49,199 right ahead, 92 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:52,639 at exactly 120 miles... 93 00:06:52,640 --> 00:06:56,399 ..outside of Tobruk 94 00:06:56,400 --> 00:07:00,680 was the punch line of this very, very funny joke. 95 00:07:02,280 --> 00:07:04,160 What's punch line? 96 00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:07,679 Oh, it's a British military secret. 97 00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:09,560 CHUCKLES 98 00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:16,759 So we are stood down... 99 00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:18,200 ..again. 100 00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:22,599 So the chicken stays in Cairo, it goes to the races, 101 00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:25,879 it rains and the girls didn't make it. 102 00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:27,199 And you know something? 103 00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:28,479 You hate this place. 104 00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:30,839 I hate this peace. 105 00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:33,159 FOOTSTEPS APPROACH 106 00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:37,279 War, my friend... 107 00:07:37,280 --> 00:07:39,520 ..is where you find it. 108 00:07:42,680 --> 00:07:44,680 AUSTRALIAN VOICE: A bottle and two glasses. 109 00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:52,639 Ah, pog. 110 00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:53,680 SPITS 111 00:07:56,680 --> 00:07:59,239 Eh, pog, 112 00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:02,679 any of you pogs ever leave fucking Cairo? 113 00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:05,759 Any of you Brits even seen an Italian yet? 114 00:08:05,760 --> 00:08:07,199 Ah, Australians. 115 00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:09,759 I love Australia. 116 00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:12,719 Wildlife and fauna 117 00:08:12,720 --> 00:08:14,559 designed by a lunatic. 118 00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:15,800 Fuck you. 119 00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:28,399 FAINT RECITING OF POETRY 120 00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:33,479 # Let me mind the house of dust Where my sojourn shall be long 121 00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:37,199 # In the nation that is not Nothing stands that stood before; 122 00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:42,039 # There revenges are forgot And the hater hates no more; 123 00:08:42,040 --> 00:08:45,879 # And naked to the hangman's noose The morning clocks will ring. # 124 00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:47,080 CLATTERING 125 00:08:51,560 --> 00:08:54,400 TENSE MUSIC PLAYS 126 00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:08,479 KEYS JANGLE 127 00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:10,319 DOOR UNLOCKS 128 00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:12,400 How's your colleague? 129 00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:17,560 I hope I did no permanent damage. 130 00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:20,799 Irish fucker. 131 00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:23,279 Fucker first and foremost, 132 00:09:23,280 --> 00:09:25,799 Irish is a contributing factor, perhaps. 133 00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:30,200 But in other times I am a friend to the friendless. 134 00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:33,679 Your colleague was being unpleasant to a smaller man, 135 00:09:33,680 --> 00:09:35,239 it got my goat. 136 00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:38,399 Well, we are about to be unpleasant to you. 137 00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:41,399 You won't be using military policeman as a punchbag any more. 138 00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:43,639 You're a mental case. 139 00:09:43,640 --> 00:09:47,079 No-one will be surprised to find you dangling in the morning. 140 00:09:47,080 --> 00:09:48,960 # And beyond the gallows clack. # 141 00:09:52,280 --> 00:09:55,759 Well, if you want me to walk on air, 142 00:09:55,760 --> 00:09:58,480 it means you're going to have to find naked neck first. 143 00:09:59,960 --> 00:10:02,519 Cos I'm used to uneven battles, boys. 144 00:10:02,520 --> 00:10:04,719 So... 145 00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:06,720 ..begin your search. 146 00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:14,679 Desert storms, 147 00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:15,919 dysentery, 148 00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:17,279 sand in your arse, 149 00:10:17,280 --> 00:10:18,599 sand in your eyes, 150 00:10:18,600 --> 00:10:19,879 sand in your lungs, 151 00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:21,319 sand in your kidneys, 152 00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:23,079 sand in your foreskin, 153 00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:24,559 all will be forgotten. 154 00:10:24,560 --> 00:10:27,119 BOMB DROPPING SPEECH DROWNED OUT 155 00:10:27,120 --> 00:10:28,480 EXPLOSION Take it. 156 00:10:30,600 --> 00:10:32,039 Now, 157 00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:34,239 let's take a drink of rum. BOMB DROPPING 158 00:10:34,240 --> 00:10:36,359 EXPLOSION SCREAMS 159 00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:39,319 Drink. Do not think. 160 00:10:39,320 --> 00:10:41,280 Do not be yourself tonight. 161 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:44,959 Remember this... 162 00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:47,359 When we are among them, 163 00:10:47,360 --> 00:10:49,080 your mother is not watching. 164 00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:53,159 Let's move. 165 00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:55,040 EXPLOSION 166 00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:08,760 CHATTERING IN DISTANCE 167 00:11:19,120 --> 00:11:21,119 10 seconds... 168 00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:23,239 ..then mad... 169 00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:24,800 ..wild. 170 00:11:31,640 --> 00:11:33,319 You even seen action? 171 00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:36,039 Repeatedly stood down, I'm afraid. 172 00:11:36,040 --> 00:11:37,759 Well, we've seen action. 173 00:11:37,760 --> 00:11:39,759 Oh, I'm sensing resentment. 174 00:11:39,760 --> 00:11:40,999 You fucking asshole. 175 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:42,359 And I understand it. 176 00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:44,119 When one has faced danger, 177 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:47,079 oh, it takes a long time to lose the animal rage. 178 00:11:47,080 --> 00:11:49,239 He talks like a fucking typewriter. 179 00:11:49,240 --> 00:11:52,959 The rain always does this to people. Why don't you leave him alone, huh? 180 00:11:52,960 --> 00:11:54,959 Yeah? 181 00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:56,520 We lost two good men. 182 00:12:01,040 --> 00:12:02,280 Theft. 183 00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:06,839 Well, I'm afraid theft is something I cannot tolerate. 184 00:12:06,840 --> 00:12:08,599 But... 185 00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:10,599 ..if we are going to engage, 186 00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:12,879 first, let me give you a small warning. 187 00:12:12,880 --> 00:12:15,319 I am a particular kind of soldier, 188 00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:18,679 a commander. I trained with other men like myself, 189 00:12:18,680 --> 00:12:21,919 some live only to fight and kill the enemy, 190 00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:23,679 others are careless of uniforms 191 00:12:23,680 --> 00:12:26,439 and will fight anyone at all. 192 00:12:26,440 --> 00:12:28,399 There are mercifully few of us, 193 00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:33,200 but in war, we are allowed to be the beasts that we are. 194 00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:37,479 We are taught to kill silently, 195 00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:38,999 and it becomes instinctive, 196 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:40,479 almost like swallowing. 197 00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:42,079 And the cursed thing is, once learned, 198 00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:44,000 you can't unlearn it. 199 00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:46,800 Do you understand? 200 00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:52,879 You shake hands with a man and you can't help 201 00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:54,679 but glance at his throat. 202 00:12:54,680 --> 00:12:55,999 GASPS 203 00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:59,719 Every part of his body is an invitation to be eagerly accepted 204 00:12:59,720 --> 00:13:02,160 as a dog accepts a bone. 205 00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:07,959 Eyes are for thumbs to push... 206 00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:09,599 ..into the brain. 207 00:13:09,600 --> 00:13:11,439 Mouths can be torn open, 208 00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:12,639 necks are a gift. 209 00:13:12,640 --> 00:13:14,159 GROANS 210 00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:15,679 God's ultimate mistake. 211 00:13:15,680 --> 00:13:17,279 SCREAMS Ah-oh! 212 00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:19,799 Spoons, tea towels, 213 00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:22,079 cups of tea... They are all weapons. 214 00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:24,879 Everything you touch... 215 00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:26,959 ..is a weapon. You are a weapon. 216 00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:28,959 SCREAMS 217 00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:32,920 If our gentlemen generals have the sense to unleash us... 218 00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:36,840 ..can you even imagine? 219 00:13:38,680 --> 00:13:40,080 EXPLOSION 220 00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:44,679 Ordinary men... 221 00:13:44,680 --> 00:13:46,759 ..when they encounter us, are... 222 00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:48,679 WHIMPERS 223 00:13:48,680 --> 00:13:52,279 ..understandably reluctant to make our acquaintance, 224 00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:54,679 but if you really do insist. 225 00:13:54,680 --> 00:13:55,719 GRUNTS 226 00:13:55,720 --> 00:13:57,119 KNIFE SLICES 227 00:13:57,120 --> 00:13:58,840 SCREAMS 228 00:14:00,880 --> 00:14:01,920 GROANS 229 00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:12,999 Not my stop, boys. 230 00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:15,279 Not my fucking stop. 231 00:14:15,280 --> 00:14:16,800 Not today. 232 00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:22,680 CHUCKLES 233 00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:30,039 Well... 234 00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:31,800 We're just here for the girls. 235 00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:40,080 My winnings. 236 00:14:48,160 --> 00:14:49,679 Buy yourselves a drink, 237 00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:51,879 raise a toast... 238 00:14:51,880 --> 00:14:53,360 ..to fallen comrades. 239 00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:58,640 BARMAN CHUCKLES 240 00:15:02,840 --> 00:15:06,199 Instead of spending a fucking year in Scotland climbing mountains, 241 00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:08,239 sleeping in ditches and strangling cattle, 242 00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:10,159 I should have just memorised that speech, 243 00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:12,239 because it works every time. 244 00:15:12,240 --> 00:15:14,239 SIGHS 245 00:15:14,240 --> 00:15:15,800 Get me a whisky, old boy. 246 00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:20,199 MUSIC: It's a Hap-Hap-Happy Day by Arthur Askey 247 00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:21,640 To whisky. 248 00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:30,319 # It's a hap-hap happy day 249 00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:31,559 WRETCHES 250 00:15:31,560 --> 00:15:33,359 # Toodle-oodle-oodle-oodle-oodle-ay 251 00:15:33,360 --> 00:15:35,559 # For you and me, for us and we 252 00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:37,559 # All the clouds have rolled away 253 00:15:37,560 --> 00:15:40,039 # It's a hap-hap happy day 254 00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:41,759 # Toodle-oodle-oodle-oodle-oodle-ay 255 00:15:41,760 --> 00:15:44,599 # The sun shines bright and the world's all right 256 00:15:44,600 --> 00:15:46,999 # It's a hap-hap happy day 257 00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:49,159 # Four and twenty sunbeams 258 00:15:49,160 --> 00:15:51,999 # Are dancing round my face 259 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:55,639 # Four score and twenty more are dancing every place 260 00:15:55,640 --> 00:15:57,399 # It's a hap-hap happy day 261 00:15:57,400 --> 00:15:59,239 # Toodle-oodle-oodle oodle-oodle-ay... # 262 00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:00,879 Good morning, Sir. 263 00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:02,679 # You can't go wrong if you sing the song 264 00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:04,839 # It's a hap-hap happy day... # 265 00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:06,999 Sir. 266 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:09,839 # Let's celebrate, let's get that holiday spirit... # 267 00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:12,239 Sir. Morning, Sir. 268 00:16:12,240 --> 00:16:14,319 Someone fix that fucking thing. 269 00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:15,360 Sir. 270 00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:18,919 Oh! 271 00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:20,879 # Shout it out so everybody can hear it... # 272 00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:23,519 Doesn't this fucking squeaking drive you insane? 273 00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:26,119 # It's a hap-hap happy day. # 274 00:16:26,120 --> 00:16:28,239 Fix the fucking thing. 275 00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:29,839 Sir. Morning, Sir. 276 00:16:29,840 --> 00:16:31,919 # All the clouds have rolled away 277 00:16:31,920 --> 00:16:33,719 # It's a hap-happy day... # 278 00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:36,159 SHOUTING OUTSIDE 279 00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:37,759 SOLDIERS: One, two, three, hut! 280 00:16:37,760 --> 00:16:39,879 # And the world all right 281 00:16:39,880 --> 00:16:41,519 # It's hap-hap happy day 282 00:16:41,520 --> 00:16:43,119 # Four and twenty sunbeams... # 283 00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:44,719 Morning, Sir. 284 00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:46,080 MUSIC STOPS 285 00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:53,439 KNOCK AT DOOR 286 00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:55,440 DOOR OPENS 287 00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:00,239 SIGHS 288 00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:01,959 There's a bit of a thing. 289 00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:05,479 Drinks, etc. Nibbles and whatnot, tonight... 290 00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:07,320 ..at the, eh... 291 00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:10,079 At the what? 292 00:17:10,080 --> 00:17:11,839 At the embassy. 293 00:17:11,840 --> 00:17:14,199 A sort of farewell thing for someone, 294 00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:16,319 some old boy going home. 295 00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:17,879 A chance for everyone to... 296 00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:20,319 A chance for everyone to formulate a plan 297 00:17:20,320 --> 00:17:23,519 for our next assault on Tobruk? 298 00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:24,719 What? 299 00:17:24,720 --> 00:17:27,719 A chance for everyone to say goodbye and good luck to him, 300 00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:29,719 whoever he is, 301 00:17:29,720 --> 00:17:31,799 and you'll be there, Stirling. 302 00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:34,640 Tobruk is under 24 hour bombardment. 303 00:17:36,120 --> 00:17:38,479 Second attempt to relieve Tobruk is being discussed. 304 00:17:38,480 --> 00:17:40,639 Actually, it'll be a third attempt. 305 00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:42,519 Indeed. 306 00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:44,840 SQUEAKING 307 00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:49,599 The fans don't work. 308 00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:52,879 I can't fucking salute any more. 309 00:17:52,880 --> 00:17:56,600 The map on the wall keeps being redrawn... 310 00:17:57,600 --> 00:17:59,319 ..and men are dying. 311 00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:01,480 Stirling, what would it take to make you call me sir? 312 00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:05,879 It would take respect. 313 00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:08,519 Stirling, you are not the soldier your father was, 314 00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:10,079 and you never will be. 315 00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:12,519 You're the kind of drunken, insubordinate malcontent 316 00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:14,999 he would have despised. You will come to the party. 317 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:16,919 You will arrive sober and on time. 318 00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:19,160 Or you, my friend, will be on a charge. 319 00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:40,800 Our Father... 320 00:18:42,160 --> 00:18:45,279 ..who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. 321 00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:48,479 Thy kingdom come, thy will be done 322 00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:51,079 on Earth as it is in heaven. 323 00:18:51,080 --> 00:18:55,519 Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, 324 00:18:55,520 --> 00:18:58,519 as we forgive those who trespass against us. 325 00:18:58,520 --> 00:19:02,639 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. 326 00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:06,359 For thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory, 327 00:19:06,360 --> 00:19:09,560 for ever and ever. Amen. 328 00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:24,440 OFFICER CALLS ORDERS 329 00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:38,399 Last night, we dispatched 50 enemy soldiers 330 00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:41,160 and destroyed one key gun emplacement. 331 00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:45,800 We had only one casualty. 332 00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:48,920 Matthews died in the night. 333 00:19:52,520 --> 00:19:53,960 WHIMPER 334 00:19:58,720 --> 00:20:00,039 Did you sleep well? 335 00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:02,719 I was exhausted with the work we did, sir, but... 336 00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:04,680 ..satisfied with our achievement. 337 00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:07,960 Slept on my boots. 338 00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:11,560 I always sleep well, sir. 339 00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:23,320 We have spent 112 days defending this place... 340 00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:27,960 ..amidst the rats and the scorpions and the flies. 341 00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:32,239 We must continue to show fortitude. 342 00:20:32,240 --> 00:20:34,600 NEARBY EXPLOSION 343 00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:44,480 RAGGED BREATHING 344 00:20:47,800 --> 00:20:52,319 Command are sending another convoy to relieve us. 345 00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:55,879 Our beloved friends at GHQ might this time remember 346 00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:59,759 to fill the armoured cars with enough petrol in the tanks 347 00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:01,959 to reach the destination. 348 00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:04,320 They can be quite forgetful. 349 00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:09,599 RAGGED BREATHING 350 00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:14,879 In the meantime, tonight, I will be taking a flight to Cairo 351 00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:16,599 on urgent business. 352 00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:20,479 If THQ can't relieve us, I'm formulating a plan 353 00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:23,160 that might just get us out of this mess. 354 00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:33,360 Move out the way! 355 00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:35,920 Move! 356 00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:40,280 Move those fucking camels! 357 00:21:41,360 --> 00:21:43,000 Get out the way! 358 00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:50,080 GUNFIRE RATTLES 359 00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:05,160 SHOUTING 360 00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:23,879 Sir. Permission to steal donated food rations from the Australians? 361 00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:25,480 Permission granted. 362 00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:31,359 So what is it we're looking for, sir? 363 00:22:31,360 --> 00:22:33,839 I got a message from one of the dockworkers 364 00:22:33,840 --> 00:22:35,759 who I bribed with hashish. 365 00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:37,400 I asked him... 366 00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:41,159 ..to keep an eye out 367 00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:44,679 in the swirling chaos of equipment and supplies for parachutes. 368 00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:46,240 And lo... 369 00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:50,720 ..a set of parachutes have appeared. 370 00:22:51,960 --> 00:22:54,399 And...who do they belong to, sir? 371 00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:56,719 EXPLOSION, SHOUTING 372 00:22:56,720 --> 00:22:58,919 This is the British Army. 373 00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:01,879 No-one owns anything. No-one knows anything. 374 00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:04,599 Nothing is certain. Nothing is as it seems. 375 00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:07,120 And whatever the fuck you have in your hands belongs to you. 376 00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:11,679 And what use do you have for parachutes, sir? 377 00:23:11,680 --> 00:23:13,720 I'm going to jump out of aeroplanes with them. 378 00:23:17,120 --> 00:23:19,559 And do you know parachutes, sir? Do you...? 379 00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:22,039 "Do you know parachutes?" 380 00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:25,680 I know you strap them to your back, you jump... 381 00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:28,720 ..the thing becomes enormous. 382 00:23:31,080 --> 00:23:32,480 And you land safe. 383 00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:37,920 Catch the damn thing before it blows into the sea, Almonds. 384 00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:42,080 Put it back in. 385 00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:45,720 How, sir? How the hell should I know? 386 00:23:46,920 --> 00:23:49,640 I think it's meant to be a very precise procedure. 387 00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:52,159 Then be precise. 388 00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:54,879 Have them all loaded onto a truck and sent to the airstrip 389 00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:56,439 for tonight's flight. 390 00:23:56,440 --> 00:23:58,440 EXPLOSION 391 00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:04,479 Oh, and you will be on that flight as well, Sergeant. 392 00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:06,679 Along with Riley. 393 00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:09,040 I've decided you are the right kind of men. 394 00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:12,720 The right kind of men for what? 395 00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:18,039 In a world where there are no rules, no order, 396 00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:20,679 no organised plan, 397 00:24:20,680 --> 00:24:25,120 certain men are identified by war itself as its natural executors. 398 00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:30,360 Those natural executors take matters into their own hands. 399 00:24:31,960 --> 00:24:34,320 I've decided to form a parachute regiment. 400 00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:37,480 You've decided? 401 00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:42,039 Our generals still think we are fighting the First World War. 402 00:24:42,040 --> 00:24:46,239 They dither and debate every order, and all this 403 00:24:46,240 --> 00:24:48,479 while the Nazis, whose conviction 404 00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:50,919 cuts through us like fucking steel blades... 405 00:24:50,920 --> 00:24:53,520 EXPLOSION 406 00:24:54,920 --> 00:24:58,079 We are chased across the fucking desert. 407 00:24:58,080 --> 00:24:59,799 Comedy. 408 00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:02,319 Except for the viciousness of their ideology. 409 00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:03,959 SHOUTED ORDERS 410 00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:06,639 Do you know what they're doing to the children in Berlin? 411 00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:09,159 The devil sent me those tins of beef. 412 00:25:09,160 --> 00:25:10,760 God sent me those parachutes. 413 00:25:11,880 --> 00:25:13,759 I'm going to give it a whirl. 414 00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:17,439 I am bringing together men of a particular calibre, 415 00:25:17,440 --> 00:25:19,359 and you are amongst them. 416 00:25:19,360 --> 00:25:22,640 The others are all insane, in jail, or like me, in despair. 417 00:25:27,040 --> 00:25:29,280 Let's go and win the fucking war. 418 00:25:40,920 --> 00:25:44,679 # It's grand to know the thumbs are up in England 419 00:25:44,680 --> 00:25:47,959 # A sign that shows that everything's OK 420 00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:51,799 # The boys have brought a word back home to England 421 00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:55,559 # For over there they always used to say 422 00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:59,479 # Put your thumbs up and say it's tiggerty boo 423 00:25:59,480 --> 00:26:03,399 # Cos tiggerty boo means everything will be fine 424 00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:07,559 # You'll always wear a smile if you'll only say 425 00:26:07,560 --> 00:26:11,119 # It's tiggerty boo, tiggerty boo Tiggerty boo today 426 00:26:11,120 --> 00:26:14,599 # Put your thumbs up and say it's tiggerty boo... # 427 00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:17,040 MUSIC SLOWS AND DISTORTS 428 00:26:21,120 --> 00:26:22,480 SIGHS 429 00:26:26,360 --> 00:26:27,560 Hangover? 430 00:26:29,040 --> 00:26:32,560 Justified by inner rage. 431 00:26:37,320 --> 00:26:38,999 What do you need? 432 00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:42,799 A medical reason not to attend a fucking cocktail party. 433 00:26:42,800 --> 00:26:45,679 And while you're at it, get me out of drill for a few days. 434 00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:49,199 You can't rationalise drill because it is meant to make you accept 435 00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:51,520 that the meaningless is important. 436 00:26:52,640 --> 00:26:54,639 Last night there was an officer looking for you. 437 00:26:54,640 --> 00:26:58,399 He wanted to know if the dysentery report of two weeks ago was genuine. 438 00:26:58,400 --> 00:27:00,119 They think you are malingering. 439 00:27:00,120 --> 00:27:02,719 It's not me that's fucking malingering. It's GHQ. 440 00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:04,919 Layer upon layer of fossilised shit. 441 00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:06,799 A freemasonry of mediocrity. 442 00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:08,559 Yeah, they're onto you. 443 00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:10,639 Court martial. 444 00:27:10,640 --> 00:27:12,759 Invented illnesses. 445 00:27:12,760 --> 00:27:14,119 Are you lying? 446 00:27:14,120 --> 00:27:15,639 Of course. 447 00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:18,399 THEY LAUGH 448 00:27:18,400 --> 00:27:21,239 Oh...so what did he actually ask you about? 449 00:27:21,240 --> 00:27:24,159 I've been in the dark, so it's all a bit unclear. 450 00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:27,679 He had a message from a Lieutenant Jack Lewes in Tobruk. 451 00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:28,959 Jock Lewes. 452 00:27:28,960 --> 00:27:31,519 Whatever. My God, you are through the roof. 453 00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:35,359 Whisky. Bang, bang, bang, one after the other. 454 00:27:35,360 --> 00:27:37,000 Memories of Scotland. 455 00:27:38,120 --> 00:27:39,999 You know how a bear in a cage 456 00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:43,480 sort of stands there and sways from side to side? 457 00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:47,759 HISSING HE LAUGHS 458 00:27:47,760 --> 00:27:49,240 THEY LAUGH 459 00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:55,239 So what did Jock Lewes say? 460 00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:57,559 HIGH-PITCHED: Ah, here. 461 00:27:57,560 --> 00:28:00,679 Go to the Empire Club tonight, meet Paddy Mayne, 462 00:28:00,680 --> 00:28:02,519 and bring him to the Tipperary Club 463 00:28:02,520 --> 00:28:04,559 for a reunion of the Three Musketeers. 464 00:28:04,560 --> 00:28:06,040 What the fuck does that say? 465 00:28:07,480 --> 00:28:09,160 Just says "parachutes". 466 00:28:32,400 --> 00:28:34,840 The dead arose and appeared to many. 467 00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:38,479 Welcome home. 468 00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:39,800 No. 469 00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:44,960 Were you arrested? 470 00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:47,040 Detained. 471 00:28:49,440 --> 00:28:51,439 Were you identified? 472 00:28:51,440 --> 00:28:56,239 No. I said my name was Mr Hyde, and I had no papers. 473 00:28:56,240 --> 00:28:59,440 He gave me a ten-shilling fine for not having identification. 474 00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:03,559 They were going to hang me, as a matter of fact. 475 00:29:03,560 --> 00:29:05,360 For having no ID? 476 00:29:06,440 --> 00:29:08,159 No, for seeking justice. 477 00:29:08,160 --> 00:29:10,079 What is this soup? 478 00:29:10,080 --> 00:29:12,560 It's the gazelle you shot. 479 00:29:15,400 --> 00:29:16,800 Oh, it's very nice. 480 00:29:18,760 --> 00:29:20,080 Thank you. 481 00:29:23,600 --> 00:29:25,119 Now.. 482 00:29:25,120 --> 00:29:27,160 ..eventually, of course... 483 00:29:29,920 --> 00:29:32,600 ..you are going to get yourself hung. 484 00:29:35,080 --> 00:29:37,519 They say it is an exquisite death. 485 00:29:37,520 --> 00:29:42,040 Though who the people are that know that is unrecorded. 486 00:29:43,960 --> 00:29:46,279 You were supposed to be in hospital. 487 00:29:46,280 --> 00:29:47,760 Why did you leave? 488 00:29:48,880 --> 00:29:51,159 Well, I don't so much have malaria any more 489 00:29:51,160 --> 00:29:52,760 as much as share a bed with it. 490 00:29:53,840 --> 00:29:57,119 My only symptom now is soaking the sheets every night. 491 00:29:57,120 --> 00:29:59,519 I sweat so much, I'm embarrassed to have the nurses 492 00:29:59,520 --> 00:30:00,760 come wring them out. 493 00:30:02,680 --> 00:30:04,960 So I went and sweated in a nightclub instead. 494 00:30:06,600 --> 00:30:09,519 And somebody got my goat. 495 00:30:09,520 --> 00:30:11,680 There's no more to it than that. 496 00:30:16,040 --> 00:30:17,999 Mm. 497 00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:22,239 Last night, someone was here with a message 498 00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:24,959 from a Lieutenant Jock Lewes in Tobruk. 499 00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:26,959 Something about parachutes. 500 00:30:26,960 --> 00:30:30,239 You're due at the Empire tonight to meet a fella called Stirling. 501 00:30:30,240 --> 00:30:32,600 To reunite the Three Musketeers. 502 00:30:34,280 --> 00:30:36,160 BAND PLAYS JAZZ MUSIC 503 00:31:34,120 --> 00:31:36,320 Help you tonight, sir? Not tonight, dear. 504 00:31:39,560 --> 00:31:41,880 No, no, no, no. 505 00:31:42,920 --> 00:31:44,240 I'm afraid not. 506 00:31:45,400 --> 00:31:48,479 I don't know what a red flower on the table signifies 507 00:31:48,480 --> 00:31:50,319 in the language of Cairo, 508 00:31:50,320 --> 00:31:53,199 but I'm not looking for a brief accord, 509 00:31:53,200 --> 00:31:55,119 if that's what you're thinking. 510 00:31:55,120 --> 00:31:56,839 "A brief accord"? 511 00:31:56,840 --> 00:31:58,279 You are a poet. 512 00:31:58,280 --> 00:31:59,880 As a matter of fact, I am. 513 00:32:01,400 --> 00:32:03,639 And I'm a journalist. 514 00:32:03,640 --> 00:32:05,400 "I'm a journalist," said the spy. 515 00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:08,479 Of course I am a spy. 516 00:32:08,480 --> 00:32:10,319 In war, we must all repurpose 517 00:32:10,320 --> 00:32:12,399 our professional talents. Sorry, old chap. 518 00:32:12,400 --> 00:32:13,440 Fuck! 519 00:32:18,320 --> 00:32:20,280 And what is your purpose? 520 00:32:21,320 --> 00:32:23,879 I am an intelligence officer who reports directly to 521 00:32:23,880 --> 00:32:26,880 the free French government in exile, General de Gaulle. 522 00:32:27,960 --> 00:32:30,959 From his bar stool in a pub in Dean Street. 523 00:32:30,960 --> 00:32:33,400 How are you enjoying Cairo, Paddy Mayne? 524 00:32:34,640 --> 00:32:35,879 How do you know my name? 525 00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:39,759 Lieutenant Mayne, your victory over the Vichy French at the Litani River 526 00:32:39,760 --> 00:32:42,719 was the first piece of good news for the French who oppose Hitler 527 00:32:42,720 --> 00:32:44,240 in a long time. 528 00:32:45,360 --> 00:32:47,679 I would like you to give me an assessment of the morale 529 00:32:47,680 --> 00:32:50,719 of pro-Nazi French soldiers that you came into contact with 530 00:32:50,720 --> 00:32:53,759 so that I can file a report to the general. 531 00:32:53,760 --> 00:32:55,999 All the pro-Nazi French soldiers 532 00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:58,400 I personally came into contact with are dead. 533 00:32:59,440 --> 00:33:00,600 So... 534 00:33:01,680 --> 00:33:04,480 ..their morale is pretty poor, I would say. 535 00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:10,439 My father was a brigadier. 536 00:33:10,440 --> 00:33:13,319 He taught me to ride, shoot, 537 00:33:13,320 --> 00:33:15,119 and kill. 538 00:33:15,120 --> 00:33:17,719 Kill with cutlery if necessary. 539 00:33:17,720 --> 00:33:21,719 Well, if you're in need of cutlery, I'd go and find another table. 540 00:33:21,720 --> 00:33:23,480 I'm here to attend a meeting. 541 00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:29,519 Very well. Apologies. Ah, no, fuck it, no. 542 00:33:29,520 --> 00:33:31,159 Do you know what? I'll go. 543 00:33:31,160 --> 00:33:33,199 Didn't want to be here anyway. 544 00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:34,839 I only came to politely say no. 545 00:33:34,840 --> 00:33:37,399 Would you wait for him and pass on a message from me? 546 00:33:37,400 --> 00:33:39,039 Wait for who? Just tell him 547 00:33:39,040 --> 00:33:42,119 Paddy Mayne says no because he has decided to go to Burma 548 00:33:42,120 --> 00:33:44,199 to fight the Japanese instead. 549 00:33:44,200 --> 00:33:48,759 It'll be a very tall man who will be drunk or will get drunk. 550 00:33:48,760 --> 00:33:51,399 And when you give him my message, he might get angry, 551 00:33:51,400 --> 00:33:52,840 so you should leave. 552 00:33:57,440 --> 00:33:59,120 Just tell him Paddy Mayne says no. 553 00:34:00,160 --> 00:34:01,200 All right? 554 00:34:07,560 --> 00:34:09,160 JAZZ MUSIC CONTINUES 555 00:34:32,480 --> 00:34:34,119 MUSIC STOPS 556 00:34:34,120 --> 00:34:36,120 APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 557 00:34:38,960 --> 00:34:42,999 I would like to introduce to you Elena Carnet. 558 00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:45,199 APPLAUSE 559 00:34:45,200 --> 00:34:47,080 MUSIC STARTS 560 00:35:05,840 --> 00:35:08,919 GASPS I'm sorry, this table is booked. 561 00:35:08,920 --> 00:35:10,599 You crept up on me. 562 00:35:10,600 --> 00:35:12,679 You'll have to go, I'm afraid. 563 00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:14,239 I have a message for you. 564 00:35:14,240 --> 00:35:16,599 Ooh. A message from who? 565 00:35:16,600 --> 00:35:18,119 Paddy Mayne. 566 00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:22,479 He was here, but he said he has decided he's going to Burma 567 00:35:22,480 --> 00:35:24,119 to fight the Japanese. 568 00:35:24,120 --> 00:35:25,839 The... 569 00:35:25,840 --> 00:35:27,320 Right. 570 00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:30,040 He said you would be angry. 571 00:35:32,040 --> 00:35:33,560 No, I'm not. 572 00:35:34,640 --> 00:35:35,799 Was he sober? 573 00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:37,399 I think so. 574 00:35:37,400 --> 00:35:39,359 But he was quite odd. Yes, he is. 575 00:35:39,360 --> 00:35:40,919 Drink, sir? Whisky. 576 00:35:40,920 --> 00:35:42,080 Yes, sir. 577 00:35:44,640 --> 00:35:45,879 He was right. 578 00:35:45,880 --> 00:35:47,320 You are tall. 579 00:35:49,040 --> 00:35:51,839 Who the fuck are you? 580 00:35:51,840 --> 00:35:55,239 I'm the deputy head of French military intelligence in Cairo. 581 00:35:55,240 --> 00:35:57,879 Oh, so you're the head of French military intelligence in Cairo? 582 00:35:57,880 --> 00:35:59,400 Because I know your boss... 583 00:36:00,640 --> 00:36:02,559 ..and he's always drunk. 584 00:36:02,560 --> 00:36:04,319 Are you new? 585 00:36:04,320 --> 00:36:06,279 To Cairo, yes. 586 00:36:06,280 --> 00:36:08,560 In every other way, I'm not new. 587 00:36:09,680 --> 00:36:10,880 Mmm. 588 00:36:16,240 --> 00:36:18,000 Listen, in other times... 589 00:36:19,040 --> 00:36:21,759 ..I would love to stay and make conversation, but right now beauty 590 00:36:21,760 --> 00:36:23,320 is not a currency I value. 591 00:36:25,960 --> 00:36:27,199 Oh, apologies. 592 00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:29,519 That sounded like an attempt to be charming, didn't it? 593 00:36:29,520 --> 00:36:30,919 It wasn't meant to be. 594 00:36:30,920 --> 00:36:33,079 It wasn't taken as charming at all. 595 00:36:33,080 --> 00:36:34,720 Not even remotely. 596 00:36:35,880 --> 00:36:39,319 Sometimes the French and the British misunderstand each other. 597 00:36:39,320 --> 00:36:42,080 It's like the difference between kilometres and miles. 598 00:36:44,280 --> 00:36:46,960 The result can be...unfortunate. 599 00:36:47,960 --> 00:36:49,399 You heard about that. 600 00:36:49,400 --> 00:36:51,600 You will learn that I tend to hear about everything. 601 00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:54,279 Whisky. 602 00:36:54,280 --> 00:36:58,240 I need a car. Where to, sir? Tipperary fucking Tea Club. 603 00:37:08,120 --> 00:37:09,800 Lieutenant Stirling. 604 00:37:11,000 --> 00:37:13,679 For the avoidance of doubt, 605 00:37:13,680 --> 00:37:16,639 I share your impatience with the conduct of the war, 606 00:37:16,640 --> 00:37:18,640 and I intend to do something about it. 607 00:37:21,240 --> 00:37:22,959 MUSIC SWELLS 608 00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:24,600 APPLAUSE 609 00:37:28,960 --> 00:37:31,760 APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 610 00:37:48,120 --> 00:37:49,480 Cheers, lads. 611 00:37:51,680 --> 00:37:53,520 SINGS TO HIMSELF 612 00:38:00,160 --> 00:38:01,400 Well? 613 00:38:03,640 --> 00:38:05,359 Did you go and meet him? 614 00:38:05,360 --> 00:38:06,440 I did. 615 00:38:07,520 --> 00:38:10,160 There were red flowers and French spies. 616 00:38:11,880 --> 00:38:13,160 And? 617 00:38:14,360 --> 00:38:15,879 What did you tell him? 618 00:38:15,880 --> 00:38:17,319 I didn't tell him anything. 619 00:38:17,320 --> 00:38:19,680 I left him a message to say I'm going to the Far East. 620 00:38:22,920 --> 00:38:24,239 You are? 621 00:38:24,240 --> 00:38:29,399 So whatever it is he and that mad martinet Lewes, 622 00:38:29,400 --> 00:38:32,199 whatever it is they're planning, 623 00:38:32,200 --> 00:38:34,079 they can do it without me. 624 00:38:34,080 --> 00:38:35,759 Who are they, anyway? 625 00:38:35,760 --> 00:38:37,400 Just men I trained with. 626 00:38:38,520 --> 00:38:42,320 Stirling, you could dismiss as a drinker. 627 00:38:43,520 --> 00:38:45,199 Gambler. 628 00:38:45,200 --> 00:38:48,399 One of those toffs, you know, who climbed through the ranks 629 00:38:48,400 --> 00:38:50,800 on the branches of their family tree. 630 00:38:52,720 --> 00:38:57,560 Lewes, you could say, is a bully with a bitter little mind. 631 00:38:59,920 --> 00:39:01,719 You could dismiss him, too. 632 00:39:01,720 --> 00:39:03,759 But you don't dismiss them. 633 00:39:03,760 --> 00:39:04,840 No. 634 00:39:06,280 --> 00:39:09,760 No, because when the moment comes, they are not themselves. 635 00:39:11,400 --> 00:39:14,720 None of the above is who they are. They are... 636 00:39:16,680 --> 00:39:18,520 They are dead man... 637 00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:21,520 ..just awaiting confirmation. 638 00:39:23,200 --> 00:39:25,320 LAUGHS Like me. 639 00:39:32,520 --> 00:39:35,360 But as I say, I'm going to the Far East. 640 00:39:36,640 --> 00:39:39,919 Ship me somewhere east of Suez, 641 00:39:39,920 --> 00:39:42,239 where the best is like the worst. 642 00:39:42,240 --> 00:39:45,119 The Far Eastern theatre will be a grand show 643 00:39:45,120 --> 00:39:46,640 when it starts, you know. 644 00:39:55,520 --> 00:39:57,879 Here, do you want to come as well? 645 00:39:57,880 --> 00:40:01,120 I'm putting together a unit. I can request you if you want. 646 00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:04,479 Yeah. 647 00:40:04,480 --> 00:40:06,160 Fuck it. 648 00:40:07,320 --> 00:40:08,440 Why not? 649 00:40:18,160 --> 00:40:19,600 Thank you very much. 650 00:40:22,120 --> 00:40:23,919 Ah. 651 00:40:23,920 --> 00:40:25,479 Ah! 652 00:40:25,480 --> 00:40:28,479 Where's Mayne? You were supposed to bring him. 653 00:40:28,480 --> 00:40:31,719 Mayne says he's going to Burma to fight the Japanese. 654 00:40:31,720 --> 00:40:33,319 They're not at war with Japan yet. 655 00:40:33,320 --> 00:40:35,640 No, but if Paddy's going, we will be quite soon. 656 00:40:36,920 --> 00:40:39,439 There's tea. Oh, enjoy it, old man. 657 00:40:39,440 --> 00:40:41,439 It's for you. 658 00:40:41,440 --> 00:40:43,119 No, it's not. 659 00:40:43,120 --> 00:40:45,080 It's not my tea. 660 00:40:46,440 --> 00:40:47,999 I have an idea for you. 661 00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:49,399 A map! 662 00:40:49,400 --> 00:40:51,999 Oh, goodness, this must be serious. 663 00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:56,760 Yes, it's actually a very large map, which is a nuisance. 664 00:41:07,360 --> 00:41:08,679 Excuse me, gentlemen. 665 00:41:08,680 --> 00:41:10,959 I'd like to use this table for a demonstration. 666 00:41:10,960 --> 00:41:12,879 How long will you be? It's a tournament. 667 00:41:12,880 --> 00:41:14,519 We're going to be here all night. 668 00:41:14,520 --> 00:41:16,479 And if you're going to stand there staring, 669 00:41:16,480 --> 00:41:18,199 we will charge you admission. 670 00:41:18,200 --> 00:41:19,319 THEY LAUGH 671 00:41:19,320 --> 00:41:23,039 Yes. I'm afraid I have a rendezvous at the Kit-Kat Club later 672 00:41:23,040 --> 00:41:25,959 and I don't have all night, gentlemen. 673 00:41:25,960 --> 00:41:29,439 I've just got back from a deep desert patrol 674 00:41:29,440 --> 00:41:31,120 and I am mad as fuck. 675 00:41:34,520 --> 00:41:35,559 What's he doing? 676 00:41:35,560 --> 00:41:36,799 Grenade! 677 00:41:36,800 --> 00:41:37,879 Out! Quickly! 678 00:41:37,880 --> 00:41:38,919 SHOUTING 679 00:41:38,920 --> 00:41:40,240 Out of the way! 680 00:41:43,440 --> 00:41:45,559 My men are bored. They make these little novelties 681 00:41:45,560 --> 00:41:46,599 to brighten their day. 682 00:41:46,600 --> 00:41:49,679 This one's excellent if you can't get a seat on a train. 683 00:41:49,680 --> 00:41:51,919 You haven't changed, then, Stirling. 684 00:41:51,920 --> 00:41:54,279 No. You haven't grown up or anything. 685 00:41:54,280 --> 00:41:55,919 I'm still about 12. 686 00:41:55,920 --> 00:41:58,239 Stink bombs and bike sheds. 687 00:41:58,240 --> 00:41:59,440 Set. 688 00:42:00,680 --> 00:42:02,199 Except now the stink is dead bodies. 689 00:42:02,200 --> 00:42:04,680 Oh, if that's what you're proposing, yes. 690 00:42:06,400 --> 00:42:07,919 You drew this yourself? 691 00:42:07,920 --> 00:42:10,519 GHQ maps are inaccurate and outdated. 692 00:42:10,520 --> 00:42:13,319 That's because the Germans keep advancing while we fold our arms 693 00:42:13,320 --> 00:42:15,839 and say, "Not ideal, unattractive, gloomy." 694 00:42:15,840 --> 00:42:18,919 Do you know any general that doesn't speak like a nursery nurse? 695 00:42:18,920 --> 00:42:22,679 The Germans have advanced 800 miles in six weeks. 696 00:42:22,680 --> 00:42:24,719 Everywhere it's Rommel this and Rommel that. 697 00:42:24,720 --> 00:42:26,879 But in my opinion, he's made a mistake. 698 00:42:26,880 --> 00:42:28,279 He's moved too fast. 699 00:42:28,280 --> 00:42:29,840 Look at this supply line. 700 00:42:31,440 --> 00:42:35,039 Hmm. It's around 300 miles too long. 701 00:42:35,040 --> 00:42:38,079 So far, we have been attacking the German convoys from the sea. 702 00:42:38,080 --> 00:42:39,639 That is why we are always expected. 703 00:42:39,640 --> 00:42:41,399 Right. And you have a better idea? 704 00:42:41,400 --> 00:42:42,440 Yes. 705 00:42:44,040 --> 00:42:47,920 A doctor stoned on laughing gas said something about parachutes. 706 00:42:49,080 --> 00:42:51,799 Instead of attacking from the sea, 707 00:42:51,800 --> 00:42:53,599 we should be attacking 708 00:42:53,600 --> 00:42:55,120 from the sea of sand. 709 00:42:56,360 --> 00:42:59,559 We parachute units of selected men into the interior 710 00:42:59,560 --> 00:43:02,319 and then attack Rommel's supply line from the desert. 711 00:43:02,320 --> 00:43:05,999 A disciplined group of men. Ah, discipline. 712 00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:09,199 You see, I myself would consult quickly with Johnnie Walker 713 00:43:09,200 --> 00:43:10,359 before each engagement. 714 00:43:10,360 --> 00:43:12,799 How would that be with your idea of discipline? 715 00:43:12,800 --> 00:43:15,280 Is that important to you? It's an indicative example. 716 00:43:16,400 --> 00:43:20,239 I once had this idea in a sweaty dream one night 717 00:43:20,240 --> 00:43:23,039 that all regimental discipline is horseshit. 718 00:43:23,040 --> 00:43:26,199 Each man should be a chess piece that can move in any direction. 719 00:43:26,200 --> 00:43:29,119 His idiosyncrasies are his own business. 720 00:43:29,120 --> 00:43:30,759 The most important thing is courage. 721 00:43:30,760 --> 00:43:34,479 The most important thing is wit, in every sense of that word. 722 00:43:34,480 --> 00:43:37,999 Anything expected fails. Never be where you are meant to be. 723 00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:40,319 Actually, the first thing we would need to do is prove 724 00:43:40,320 --> 00:43:43,239 that the principle of a parachute drop is sound. 725 00:43:43,240 --> 00:43:46,079 No-one has ever parachuted in the desert before. 726 00:43:46,080 --> 00:43:47,519 Whatever. 727 00:43:47,520 --> 00:43:50,599 When a vulture spreads its wings out there, it goes up, not down. 728 00:43:50,600 --> 00:43:51,640 Hmm. 729 00:43:55,520 --> 00:43:59,040 So someone would need to try it. 730 00:44:01,080 --> 00:44:02,320 Yes. 731 00:44:03,320 --> 00:44:04,639 Just us. 732 00:44:04,640 --> 00:44:06,159 You and I. 733 00:44:06,160 --> 00:44:09,439 I was hoping Mayne would join us, but we can do it without him. 734 00:44:09,440 --> 00:44:11,199 We prove it can be done, 735 00:44:11,200 --> 00:44:13,959 and we prove to each other that we are committed. 736 00:44:13,960 --> 00:44:15,920 No-one to stand us down. 737 00:44:17,080 --> 00:44:18,840 No-one to stand us down. 738 00:44:21,760 --> 00:44:23,360 What should we call ourselves? 739 00:44:26,520 --> 00:44:27,760 So you're in? 740 00:44:29,320 --> 00:44:30,880 Stirling. Are you in? 741 00:44:32,840 --> 00:44:35,279 You steal the parachutes. 742 00:44:35,280 --> 00:44:37,280 I will steal an aeroplane. 743 00:45:10,280 --> 00:45:12,719 There's just no way. There is no... 744 00:45:12,720 --> 00:45:14,199 Ah, Lieutenant. This man claims 745 00:45:14,200 --> 00:45:16,119 he has authority to commandeer my plane. 746 00:45:16,120 --> 00:45:17,639 At ease. He has permission. 747 00:45:17,640 --> 00:45:19,519 I've already explained this is war work 748 00:45:19,520 --> 00:45:21,959 and we have a licence to behave badly. 749 00:45:21,960 --> 00:45:23,839 I'm a fucking postman, you know. 750 00:45:23,840 --> 00:45:25,599 I deliver military mail. 751 00:45:25,600 --> 00:45:27,799 I want to know what's going on. 752 00:45:27,800 --> 00:45:30,159 I want to know who you are and the name of your unit. 753 00:45:30,160 --> 00:45:32,040 Ooh, did you think of a name? No, not yet. 754 00:45:33,640 --> 00:45:37,039 If you're even considering using my plane to make a parachute drop, 755 00:45:37,040 --> 00:45:39,239 you're not going anywhere in this weather, you know. 756 00:45:39,240 --> 00:45:41,199 Forecast has this blowing over in one hour. 757 00:45:41,200 --> 00:45:43,319 No-one parachutes in the desert. 758 00:45:43,320 --> 00:45:44,439 We know. 759 00:45:44,440 --> 00:45:47,599 And your parachutes have static lines. They have what? 760 00:45:47,600 --> 00:45:49,119 They have static lines. 761 00:45:49,120 --> 00:45:51,719 Look - these lines have to be clipped to a steel cable 762 00:45:51,720 --> 00:45:53,439 attached fore and aft. 763 00:45:53,440 --> 00:45:55,279 My plane is a De Havilland. 764 00:45:55,280 --> 00:45:57,799 It doesn't have a cable. Mmm. 765 00:45:57,800 --> 00:45:59,239 Well, we'll use the seats. 766 00:45:59,240 --> 00:46:01,479 Yes, we'll tie the parachute cables to the seats. 767 00:46:01,480 --> 00:46:03,679 The legs of the passenger seat. 768 00:46:03,680 --> 00:46:06,439 How much actual parachute training have you had? 769 00:46:06,440 --> 00:46:08,879 We spent three weeks jumping from scaffolding 770 00:46:08,880 --> 00:46:12,079 and moving vehicles. And rolling forwards and sideways. 771 00:46:12,080 --> 00:46:14,199 And the door opens to the wind? 772 00:46:14,200 --> 00:46:16,839 Almonds, take the door off. Yes, sir. 773 00:46:16,840 --> 00:46:19,719 But by the time this weather blows over, it will be dark. 774 00:46:19,720 --> 00:46:22,679 So how will you find your way back if it's dark? 775 00:46:22,680 --> 00:46:24,200 ..Lewes? 776 00:46:25,240 --> 00:46:26,839 The stars. The stars. Yes. 777 00:46:26,840 --> 00:46:31,079 Sir, with this storm and the failing light, why don't we think again? 778 00:46:31,080 --> 00:46:34,799 Lewes, it sounds like your sergeant is suggesting that we stand down. 779 00:46:34,800 --> 00:46:37,719 We do not fucking stand down any more. 780 00:46:37,720 --> 00:46:40,239 That should be the name of our unit. 781 00:46:40,240 --> 00:46:42,159 The men who refused to stand down. 782 00:46:42,160 --> 00:46:45,999 I believe, on the grounds of hazard, I could refuse to take you. 783 00:46:46,000 --> 00:46:48,159 If you don't want to fly... 784 00:46:48,160 --> 00:46:50,279 ..I flew a crop for him once. 785 00:46:50,280 --> 00:46:52,079 I'll fly that thing myself. 786 00:46:52,080 --> 00:46:53,919 Good God, he's American. 787 00:46:53,920 --> 00:46:55,280 Even so, he's OK. 788 00:46:56,360 --> 00:46:58,759 You're all fucking mad. 789 00:46:58,760 --> 00:47:00,800 At last! He gets it. 790 00:47:02,200 --> 00:47:03,560 I need a piss. 791 00:47:09,040 --> 00:47:10,439 Chop-chop. 792 00:47:10,440 --> 00:47:11,800 Yes, sir. 793 00:47:25,240 --> 00:47:27,480 YELLS 794 00:47:43,600 --> 00:47:47,439 WIND GUSTS, CAMEL GRUNTS 795 00:47:47,440 --> 00:47:50,440 MUSIC: Live Wire by AC/DC 796 00:48:10,040 --> 00:48:11,520 Good luck, sir. 797 00:48:18,600 --> 00:48:20,400 Ah! Here, Stirling. 798 00:48:55,800 --> 00:48:58,040 # Well, if you're looking for trouble 799 00:48:59,720 --> 00:49:01,480 # I'm the man to see 800 00:49:02,880 --> 00:49:05,280 # If you're looking for satisfaction 801 00:49:06,680 --> 00:49:08,720 # I'm satisfaction guaranteed 802 00:49:10,440 --> 00:49:13,240 # I'm as cool as a body on ice 803 00:49:14,720 --> 00:49:17,159 # Hotter than the rolling dice 804 00:49:17,160 --> 00:49:20,719 # Send you to heaven Take you to hell 805 00:49:20,720 --> 00:49:24,119 # I ain't foolin' Can't you tell? # 806 00:49:24,120 --> 00:49:26,200 Now head back to the airstrip! 807 00:49:27,680 --> 00:49:30,360 # I'm a live wire 808 00:49:31,480 --> 00:49:33,600 # I'm a live wire 809 00:49:35,520 --> 00:49:39,280 # Going to set this town on fire! # 810 00:49:40,920 --> 00:49:43,240 60 seconds until we go. 811 00:49:53,920 --> 00:49:56,320 # And if you need some lovin' 812 00:49:57,480 --> 00:49:59,759 # And if you need some man... # 813 00:49:59,760 --> 00:50:02,160 What do you think about just before? 814 00:50:03,480 --> 00:50:07,040 I think about the voice inside of my head that says, "So what?" 815 00:50:08,480 --> 00:50:10,400 "So fucking what?" 816 00:50:11,640 --> 00:50:15,199 # You've got the thirst and I've got the booze 817 00:50:15,200 --> 00:50:18,959 # Give you an inch Take you a mile 818 00:50:18,960 --> 00:50:21,919 # I'm going to make you fry 819 00:50:21,920 --> 00:50:24,079 # I'm a live wire 820 00:50:24,080 --> 00:50:25,999 # Live wire 821 00:50:26,000 --> 00:50:27,839 # I'm a live wire 822 00:50:27,840 --> 00:50:29,519 # Live wire 823 00:50:29,520 --> 00:50:31,159 # I'm a live wire 824 00:50:31,160 --> 00:50:32,760 # Live wire 825 00:50:34,160 --> 00:50:36,760 # Holy smoke and sweet desire 826 00:50:42,400 --> 00:50:44,600 # Like a hot rod, baby! 827 00:50:49,240 --> 00:50:51,920 # Oh, stick this in your fuse box! # 828 00:51:32,920 --> 00:51:34,399 GASPS 829 00:51:34,400 --> 00:51:36,360 YELLS 830 00:51:38,920 --> 00:51:40,520 WIND HOWLS 831 00:51:44,360 --> 00:51:46,120 YELLS 832 00:51:53,520 --> 00:51:55,399 YELLS 833 00:51:55,400 --> 00:51:56,760 THUMP 834 00:52:11,000 --> 00:52:13,560 RAGGED BREATHING 835 00:52:15,320 --> 00:52:17,000 GROANS 836 00:52:34,520 --> 00:52:36,520 Did you have a fall, sir? 837 00:52:43,200 --> 00:52:45,160 Yes, Father, I did. 838 00:52:46,920 --> 00:52:48,920 Am I dead? Not quite. 839 00:52:50,440 --> 00:52:51,920 In between, I think. 840 00:52:54,760 --> 00:52:57,239 Remember when you said you could climb the old oak tree 841 00:52:57,240 --> 00:52:58,960 with one arm tied behind your back? 842 00:53:00,400 --> 00:53:02,839 You always imagined you could do things you couldn't do - 843 00:53:02,840 --> 00:53:04,720 climb higher than your natural limit. 844 00:53:06,000 --> 00:53:08,560 One would have hoped you might have grown out of it by now. 845 00:53:11,920 --> 00:53:13,359 GRUNTS 846 00:53:13,360 --> 00:53:15,159 I can't... 847 00:53:15,160 --> 00:53:17,320 I can't move my legs, Dad. 848 00:53:19,840 --> 00:53:21,759 I can't feel my legs. 849 00:53:21,760 --> 00:53:23,439 GASPS 850 00:53:23,440 --> 00:53:26,719 I can't see anything below my waist. 851 00:53:26,720 --> 00:53:30,799 Many a time I have been half in love with easeful Death. 852 00:53:30,800 --> 00:53:32,039 GROANS 853 00:53:32,040 --> 00:53:34,999 Call'd him soft names in many a mused rhyme, 854 00:53:35,000 --> 00:53:38,640 To take into the air my quiet breath; 855 00:53:40,040 --> 00:53:42,959 Now more than ever seems it rich to die. 856 00:53:42,960 --> 00:53:44,439 No, no, no. 857 00:53:44,440 --> 00:53:46,199 It was always your favourite poem. 858 00:53:46,200 --> 00:53:47,680 Always in the back of your mind. 859 00:53:49,200 --> 00:53:52,320 Half in love with easeful Death. 860 00:53:53,880 --> 00:53:55,279 I have things to do. 861 00:53:55,280 --> 00:53:56,999 I will not be pushed. 862 00:53:57,000 --> 00:53:58,360 I will not... 863 00:53:59,440 --> 00:54:01,240 ..so I will not be stood down. 864 00:54:02,440 --> 00:54:03,760 Not even by God. 865 00:54:05,200 --> 00:54:07,679 YELLS: You hear me, God? 866 00:54:07,680 --> 00:54:10,039 You hear me, Father? 867 00:54:10,040 --> 00:54:11,840 I will win this fucking war. 868 00:54:16,120 --> 00:54:20,039 I will not be stood down. 869 00:54:20,040 --> 00:54:23,120 BREATHES RAGGEDLY 870 00:54:26,480 --> 00:54:29,719 MUSIC: A Hard Road by Black Sabbath 871 00:54:29,720 --> 00:54:33,919 # Old men crying Young men dying 872 00:54:33,920 --> 00:54:38,760 # World still turns as Father Time looks on 873 00:54:40,920 --> 00:54:42,560 # On and on 874 00:54:45,520 --> 00:54:49,519 # Children playing, dreamers praying 875 00:54:49,520 --> 00:54:54,120 # Laughter turns to tear as love has gone 876 00:54:56,280 --> 00:54:58,000 # Has it gone? 877 00:55:01,440 --> 00:55:07,960 # Oh, it's a hard road 878 00:55:08,960 --> 00:55:14,200 # Oh, it's a hard road. #