TUANI REGION OF CORSICA
A NETFLIX SERIES
Hurry up.
It's around here somewhere. I know it.
Come on! Dig faster. Your life depends on it.
It's here. Holy shit!
The money's here!
Thank God!
Silvio? I'm in the middle of a surgery, what's going on?
What?
Okay.
Good.
Very good.
Gertrude?
Stitch her up, change of plan.
Well, then, your friend ended up finding the money.
Very good.
Oh, thank you.
Thanks, Ali. Fuck!
I told you we could count on him.
Give me 24 hours to arrange for a helicopter,
and I'll get you all out of here.
Ugh!
Thanks, Doc. You're saving our lives.
Oh, don't get too excited about it, Oliver,
because you have cancer.
What?
I'm messing with you.
Yeah.
That's a good one.
Don't laugh too hard, Joseph. You actually have leukemia.
You're starting to get my sense of humor.
That's a good one, Doctor.
What's this?
What are you all laughing about? Why are those corpses still alive?
Mr. Cavillan,
I'm happy you're here.
Turns out that all of our patients have developed an infection,
which means they need to be on antibiotics for a week before harvesting.
What kind of excuse is that? They're not sick.
It's not an excuse. They're very sick.
-We're very sick. -It's true.
This Pénélope, she fucked with your head, right?
Léonard, please put the gun down. He's right. We're sick. We're very sick.
He's telling the truth. We're on death's doorstep here.
Come on, Léonard. You have to admit
that the living conditions here weren't very sanitary.
Exactly. He's right. There's dust everywhere.
This is not a five-star establishment.
All right, all right, enough!
You better tell the truth, or I'll pop a cap in her right now.
Léonard, you're acting crazy. This is--
Un-fucking-believable.
There.
You realize we're burying €5 million worth of bodies?
We lost everything.
We could be burying your sister, so it could be worse.
Yeah, that's right. For sure. For sure.
My Lord! Thank God.
-Can you grab his feet? -Yeah.
Oh, fuck. Wow. Go ahead. Come on.
Okay.
Fuck! What a drag!
Fuck.
Dude, you realize only a few years ago
we were trying to sell an app to investors?
Look at us now.
I feel like this is what I was destined to do.
Thug life. Like father, like son. You know?
Let's finish this.
Olive.
What?
I need to tell you something.
What is it?
Come on, out with it.
You and me…
You and me are, uh…
Bro!
Exactly.
What "exactly"?
Bros.
What, bros?
You and me are brothers, bro.
Yeah, we're bros.
I mean, we're really brothers, bro.
Are you losing it? What are you saying?
Of course you're my bro. We're bros. I know that.
No, what… what I mean is your father…
-Your father… -My father, yeah.
…is my father.
He slept around on my mother with your mother.
What are you saying? Don't bullshit me.
Olive, we're blood brothers. It's… Honest.
Honestly, it's true.
Who told you that?
My father. I mean, your father. My father. Our father!
-Gérard? -Gérard.
Well, then, Gérard's talking nonsense. I mean, really…
No, no, no. Olive.
He was on that truth serum when he said it.
What?
We're brothers.
No.
We're brothers.
Come here. Come here, brother.
Come.
Wow.
Crazy, huh?
We were bros before we were brothers.
It's beautiful.
Hold on. Hold on. Wait.
So, that means Aure's my sister?
Yeah, she's your sister. Of course she's your sister.
Oh, fuck.
What is it?
Nothing. Don't worry. Never mind.
What the hell did you do?
Because of you, I killed the surgeon. Are you happy now?
What do you mean?
I'm not a baby anymore, Mom.
You went behind my back to try to save that bunch of clowns out there?
Calm down. I've been locked up in here. You're imagining things.
I'm not some bird-brained dumbass.
You've no idea what kind of mess you've made now.
What do I tell the Russians? I sold the organs,
and no one can harvest them. What do I say?
Hold on. The Hazans are still alive?
That's what you're worried about? If you love them so much, come with me.
-What are you doing? Stop it! -You'll get the same treatment.
-What is this? -Come on. Come on.
Stop it! Stop!
Uh, maybe it was the wrong monastery.
No, Ms. Benkikir, there was no mistake.
Your information was wrong.
What do the Colombians think of us now?
-We'll find the right address. -No, no, no, no.
Nice try, Ms. Benkikir, but your Hazans have cost us enough money.
And so, Ms. Cendron,
you and your shitty lawyer here, who has connections and her leads,
keep them to yourself.
We're suspending the search.
Am I clear?
You better, uh, take it down a notch.
Don't give us your lecture. You suck too.
Excuse me? What are you talking about?
With Nicole Brown Simpson, you really sucked.
Of course O.J. was the one who stabbed them. Come on!
Dumbass!
And what about Ted Kaczynski? Quite the problem, huh?
Where could he be? Oh, where was he?
Maybe check yourselves
and not sketch him looking like Michael Jackson!
Who drew that?
JonBenét Ramsey?
What about JonBenét Ramsey?
How dumb do you have to be not to have any leads yet?
You were terrible!
You blew it!
Some sense of humor. She's kidding.
You suck balls, Shitlock Holmes!
Oh God!
We're on the north end…
-Yeah, but it still hurts. -That's normal. Don't worry.
Just breathe.
This our dorm here.
Straight ahead, next to us here are the showers.
There's the crapper.
When you go through here, there's a corridor.
I don't know if it's one or two doors.
Hey, Oli, do you remember if it's one or two? I can't remember.
Fuck, bro. Olive! Concentrate for a second. How many doors?
No, yeah, yeah, it's definitely one or two doors for sure.
Are you shitting me? That's your answer?
Catherine?
-Oh! -My God!
My love! I thought they'd killed you.
I'm fine. I'm fine. I was worried about you guys too. I was so worried.
Uh, where did he take you? What happened?
They… they forced me to translate, uh, for a deal with some Russians.
They… they wanted to buy your organs. It was awful.
Bastards!
Don't worry. It's all over now. We'll be leaving here soon.
We're plotting our way out of the monastery.
Yeah. We have to get out of here, or he's gonna kill us.
Is this your plot?
-Mm-hmm. -Yeah.
Yeah, this is the map.
-There. -Thank you.
You know, I did the same thing.
What?
With Olivio.
I found an Oliver lookalike and pretended I'd moved on.
Same as you with William.
I'm right here.
Right. How are ya? Good. Great.
Don't listen to her, my love.
That's total bullshit. They look nothing alike.
"Bullshit! They look nothing alike."
Exactly what I said. Yeah.
You're still in love with Joseph,
or you wouldn't be doing all this for him. Hmm?
Saved by the bell.
You lucky girl.
Yeah, hello?
Dr. Prévot, this is Mr. Finanouk.
Hello, Mr. Finanouk.
Yes, I'm listening.
Did you just put me on speakerphone?
Yeah. No. I mean, I did, but yes.
Uh, just because I'm in the middle of shaving my pussy!
Ah. Uh…
-Well, don't cut yourself. -Of course.
Listen, I'm afraid I have very bad news, unfortunately,
about your loan application. I can't approve it.
I'm sorry. There's nothing I can do
about your hoo-cat hookah bar.
But I have another offer for you,
an offer that would call upon your skills… …as a surgeon.
Well, I'm interested. Tell me more.
All right.
So, I need you to harvest the organs of three men and two women.
Fuck, even Ludmilla?
The surgeon I originally hired had an unfortunate accident,
and my client is in a hurry.
So I need to know quickly if you're available.
Uh, that depends, Mr. Finanouk. How much?
If we act like pros, they'll think we're pros.
Go on. Answer him.
It's €120,000. That's non-negotiable.
-Yes, yes, okay. -Say yes.
Yes, that is indeed non-negotiable.
It's a no, good sir.
-What are you doing? -Are you serious?
Hold on. I've got principles. For that price, no way.
He's our only way in. Call him back now.
I won't be ripped off like that.
Clémentine, I swear I'm about to slap you. Call him.
Calm down. He'll call back.
What if he doesn't?
Why wouldn't he call back?
He'll call back. He has my number.
No, no, no. We can't go through here.
It's a bad idea. We'll be exposed.
-However, if we go this way… -Mm-hmm.
…we can take a passageway leading to where the cars are parked.
There, in the parking area is an old, red 4x4.
Hmm.
We need to take that one
because the back driver's side door can't be locked.
Why are you staring at me like that? Do I have a booger?
Huh?
No, no, no, no. I'm listening.
So, did you hear that?
Take the red SUV
because the back driver's side door is always open.
Yeah. We heard you, all right.
But wait. Okay, I'm sorry. How do you know all this?
I saw it when I was translating for the Russians.
Hmm.
-That means nothing, Joseph. -Oh, it does.
It means "I have serious doubts about your ability to speak Russian."
So, what did she just say, huh?
No idea. But it seems she speaks Russian.
I said, "Then we need to get to the airport in Bastia."
Why Bastia?
-We're in Corsica? -Yes, we are.
-We are? -No. That's bullshit.
Everyone speaks Spanish here.
Even the cops, the cops that brought us back here.
-It's true. -Yeah, maybe.
But when they asked me to translate, they took me to a Corsican village.
Oh, really? And how was it? Was the food nice?
Was there Orezza and brocciu?
Yeah, there was brocciu.
So fucking lucky.
But we have to leave by 7:00 a.m.
No. No way. I disagree. It's too dangerous.
The longer we're here, the less safe it is.
We wait for the middle of the night. When they're deep asleep, we move.
No, between 7:00 and 7:30, there's a gap in the guard shift.
It's our best chance of not being seen.
That's fucking crazy, unheard of. How could she know that?
Did you see that as well?
Hey, are you gonna contradict her every time she says something, huh?
You don't have anything, all right?
Only a big mouth. So let's listen to her.
-We're listening, honey. -She knows a little too much.
-We're listening, my love. -He is.
And how do we get out of the dorm?
Catherine?
To get out of the dorm,
we're gonna use this.
Hmm. A cardboard box. Super.
They're matches, Jo.
-Sure, it's matches. -Are you blind?
Those are matches.
There you go.
-Answer! Pick it up! -Let him wait a bit.
I love this ringtone. I set it three days ago. I just love it.
-Pick up the phone! -Oh!
Hello?
-Dr.-- -Mr. Finanouk.
-I've-- -Yeah. I'm sorry. There's another call.
Hello?
-No, I'm not busy. -Fuck, Clémentine!
Shh! Shut the fuck up! Are you nuts?
Shh!
Okay, so, if I remember,
I have the 30 megabytes of data with unlimited texting,
but it's been tight with all the videos I'm watching.
Put him back on the phone, for fuck's sake!
Can't you see I'm negotiating?
You're not the one paying extra charges every month.
Narcissist.
I have to call you back. I can't hear myself think.
Have a great day.
So rude!
Mr. Finanouk, I'm listening.
Mm-hmm.
Perfect. You can count on us.
Okay. All right. Copy that. Take care.
Love you. Love you.
Okay, bye now.
Gotta go. Gotta go. Gotta go. Going. Talk to you--
He hung up.
-Youssef. -Hmm?
Pack your panties in plastic. We're off in an hour.
Where to?
Corsica.
-Corsica? -Yeah.
Island of Beauty.
I was listening, Aure. I'd just do it another way.
You know, I just wanna say that I'm sorry about Joseph.
I don't know what he's holding against you.
I don't know.
It's complicated sometimes with children.
Yeah.
I mean…
I don't have any, but I imagine it must be complicated.
Yes, it is.
I knew you were brilliant, but I'm really impressed, my love.
Oh, come on. It's just basic chemistry.
It's saltpeter, sulfur, a spark, and then boom.
"Boom."
-All right, grind it up. -Yeah.
Aure, get it closer to the wall.
-This is fine. -It's not. It'll fall on the floor.
It's all falling inside. Scrape instead of complaining.
All right.
Hey, be honest, Olive.
You don't think it's weird, that tattoo she has?
You're ridiculous. You just won't drop it. You're a broken record, Jo.
Dollar-shaped tattoos are a teenage mistake.
It doesn't mean anything.
I told you she used to be a stripper. She wanted the cash in her panties.
Stripper, my ass!
All right, it's a coinkidink
she happens to have the same exact tattoo as that psycho.
She speaks Russian.
It's a coinkidink she knows the monastery by heart.
And now, she's a bomb expert. Yeah, right!
It's a coinkidink she disappears the day the doctor is butchering us,
then magically reappears afterwards.
Now, come on. That's a lot of coinkidinks.
Listen, Jo, I trust her, all right? Catherine is reliable.
And remember, she risked her life to get you out of prison.
Did you forget that?
So, what? She's a stranger to me. That's it.
No, she's not. She's Dad's girlfriend. That means she's family.
No, she's not family. I don't give a shit. I don't trust her.
You're so fucking stubborn.
I think Catherine's okay. She's beautiful, smart--
Stop, okay? We get it. You just wanna fuck her.
I do wanna fuck her, but that's not the point.
I trust her. That's all.
Extraordinary.
Look, Oliver agrees with me for once. This time, you must really be wrong.
-Why are you saying that? -Yeah, why do you say that?
Why? Because look at you two. Together like peas in a pod,
agreeing on everything. Yeah, yeah.
We're not together now. I'm scraping the saltpeter.
And we disagree all the time.
He's right. We disagree all the time.
You're close. It's fine by me. No problem.
I just feel like I don't exist sometimes. Do you get that?
-What? -Really?
Yes.
Well, if that's how you feel, I'm sorry.
Truthfully, it's not intentional. It's just that you're so confident,
it seems like you've got your shit together.
It's true. I mean, it feels like you don't really need us.
Yeah, well, you're wrong about that.
I do need you.
Okay, there's something I need to tell you about Ollie.
What?
-You're not-- -No, wait. Easy, Jo. Wait.
Don't get carried away right now.
There. See? You're hiding stuff from me again.
-My shoulders are killing me anyway. -If we got closer to the wall--
We're here.
It does actually look a little like Colombia.
Huh?
Okay, listen up, Clémentine. Enough about Colombia.
Once we're through that gate, it's over. You got that?
I swear to God, there's no turning back. Get that through your head.
I understand, of course. What's up? You scared? You wanna call the police?
-What about the police? -Keep them out of it.
I don't want them to go to prison.
Listen, I'm all fired up and ready. You?
Of course I am. I booked the boat. We'll handle this like pros.
-Here, put this on. -What the hell are you doing?
You need to look less gangster, all right? Believe me.
Come on. I look like a samurai.
Fuck, I look like a samurai.
A fucking badass samurai! You know what I mean?
-Yeah. -Seriously, let's do this.
Ready!
All right. All right.
All right! All right!
Clém, knock it off, okay?
-Shit! -No.
Hello.
Hey!
-Thanks for coming. -Pleasure.
You are Dr. Prévot and Dr. Ben Aflahak?
-Ben Affleck. -Aflahak, righteousness.
Oh! Those are toucans.
Ca-caw-caw-caw-caw-caw!
It's their mating season, you see? I'll give that birdie a boner.
Ca-caw-caw-caw-caw!
Quiet. That's enough. Shut up now.
Shut the fuck up!
Look, it's the speakers. Can't you see? It's all fake. It's…
All of this is staged.
I mean, look at the cacti. That was my idea. I shipped them.
We wanted the hostages to think they were in South America.
-To confuse them, cover our tracks. -Of course.
-Brilliant. -It's lame.
It's not working at all. I could totally tell they were fake.
Well, maybe I'll put you up on a branch, and you can chirp instead.
No. It's all very believable.
Hand over your cell phones.
A matter of discretion.
I'll give them back later.
Hey!
I wanted to upgrade anyway.
-Oh really? -That one was awful.
Yeah. You'll have to now.
-Yeah. -Uh…
Shall we get started now?
No. You can sit back and relax.
My clients are expecting the organs tomorrow,
so let's harvest them last-minute. It's easier.
Oh yeah. That's for the best.
Come on. Let's go.
-Take it down a notch. -Okay.
So, can we examine them beforehand and assess the situation?
No. I told you. I'll take you to see them tomorrow.
You need to rest tonight. Come and I'll show you to your rooms.
It's going to be a long day. I'd prefer if you both, uh, took it easy.
Ah, right. But I really need to take a crap.
You know, all that travel…
What are you doing?
Nothing.
This will give us a little privacy.
What is it?
Uh…
Fuck!
My darling…
Catherine, will you marry me?
Are you serious?
I love you.
And, well, who knows how long we have to live?
So, yes, I'm serious.
Will you be my wife?
My heart.
What?
Yes.
Yes, as in you will?
Yes, I will.
You're still up?
Yeah.
No, no, no. I'm just… I'm a little nervous about tomorrow's escape.
Aren't you?
Yeah, a little.
What are they doing?
Just sleeping. Nothing special.
Okay.
All right, bro, good night.
Yeah, bro, good night.
-Hey, Olive? -Yeah?
I was thinking…
-Since we're really brothers now… -Yeah?
Maybe we don't have to say "bro" all the time.
You got a point, bro.
Forget about it.
All right, bro, good night.
Yeah, sweet dreams, bro.
-What are you looking at? -Nothing.
-What nothing? -No, Jo, don't look. Don't look.
Bro, what the hell?
You said they were sleeping, but his dick is out. What is that?
-He took out his dong. -Ew! What the heck?
Looks like I'm not the only new member of the family.
Enough with the stupid jokes. He's your father now. Have some respect.
He's been my father five minutes. I don't give a shit.
You can't fucking do that, Ollie! Stop staring. Pervert!
Well, I'm watching. I can do what I want.
-They're in doggy style. -Holy shit!
Damn, they're struggling. They look like dogs.
Yeah, it's not going in.
They're out of sync, these two. There's no chemistry there.
It'll never work for them. Nope.
Check out that dick.
It's incredible, bro. It looks like a maple bar.
Yeah, our dad's got a great schlong.
-So, that's the family schlong? -Yeah.
-You're not packing a schlong like that. -I have one.
I've never seen a schlong like that on you.
Bro, when you see it, it's dormant. It's normal.
But when it's activated…
-Shit! -Oh!
Did you bring your suicide vest?
What? Why would you ask me that?
-Huh? -Why would you ask me that?
No. No reason. I just, uh…
Are you a racist, or not?
Please, no. It's just 'cause… beard.
That's what I'm saying. You're a racist.
Oh man! Unbelievable.
Jewish people take everything so personally.
-What are you talking about? -There.
Grab those ropes. Let's go to the parking lot.
-What for? -Because! Just trust me, okay?
Okay, give me the saltpeter and sulfur.
Uh, where is it?
Over there in the desk.
Uh…
Um, but nothing's in here.
What are you talking about? It was right there.
What's going on here?
-Look harder. -Is this a joke?
-It's not there. -This is impossible.
You… you lost the mixture now?
Fuck, I can't believe it. Fuck!
Now, we can't follow the plan Catherine laid out.
It's a disaster.
It's fine. Thankfully, I have another matchbox.
That's extraordinary. Wow.
We're saved. She has a second matchbox.
Yeah, thank God.
It's a crazy coincidence that she has a second matchbox
considering she's been held captive all this time.
Good job, Catherine. Well done.
If we all start scratching, we can still make it out in time.
No. The only thing you're scratching is my butthole. Understand?
I can't bite my tongue anymore. I can't stand her, and I don't trust her.
She's been setting us up since the beginning, guys.
Open your fucking eyes.
She's got two matchboxes? From where? How did that happen?
If we follow her, death is waiting behind that door.
You've completely lost your mind, Joseph.
-Don't tell me you threw out the powder. -Of course he did.
All right, fine, everyone. I have something to confess.
I threw away the powder.
Joseph, I wanna hit you. I swear, I wanna punch your face so hard.
You not liking Catherine is your own problem.
But now you're the reason
we're all gonna die here, you damned idiot.
Hey, I'll be back with the Hazans. Tell the doctors to get ready.
When will you open your eyes? Can't you see that she's being shady?
You're shady, Joseph.
You're always ruining everything. You're the one being shady.
I always ruin everything? Stop letting this bitch manipulate you.
-Hey, don't talk about my wife that way. -What's that mean, "your wife?"
Yes, she's my wife.
Because we're getting married.
-What? -You are?
You're not marrying anyone. We follow her, we're dead. Give me it.
-No! Jo! -Hey!
-Hand it over now. -Get off of me!
Stop!
Calm down and listen. Listen to me.
I know it's a complicated situation.
But I swear I only meant well.
You think I've been shady, and you're entitled to that, Joseph,
but you have to trust me,
because I'm the only one who can get us out of here.
So, please…
-Go one. -Jo, bro.
Give it.
Fuck.
Take 'em. Go ahead. Follow her.
So, you were trying to stab me in the back, huh?
Wait. Léonard, calm down. It's not what you think.
-I'm trying to work things out. -You weren't planning to escape with them?
Calm down, please. Put down the gun. You wouldn't shoot--
Catherine? Catherine? Catherine!
Mommy. Mom! Mom!
Get out of the way. Move!
-Mom, can you hear me? -Fuck.
Mom? Mom?
José, vamos.
Did he say, "Mom"?
I told you.
Did I hear that right? He called her Mom.
-Whoa. Dad, you okay? -I feel dizzy. I don't feel well.
Okay, do you wanna sit down? Wait. Get him on the ground.
-He's passing out. -Dad! Dad, what's going on?
-Are you okay? -Dad, stay with us.
-Dad? -Yo! Yo!
Can you hear me? Come on, open your eyes.
-Gérard! Gérard! -Oh fuck!