1
00:00:01,187 --> 00:00:02,914
We're still on the ferry, Mum.

2
00:00:03,034 --> 00:00:05,602
- How come?!
- Because it's a 45 minute crossing

3
00:00:05,722 --> 00:00:07,838
and you only phoned 15 minutes ago.

4
00:00:07,958 --> 00:00:09,681
What way's he driving from the ferry?

5
00:00:09,801 --> 00:00:12,325
Tell him to go via Afton, not Norton Green.

6
00:00:12,446 --> 00:00:14,642
Ray says to go via Afton.

7
00:00:14,762 --> 00:00:17,284
I heard him.
We're not going that way, it takes longer.

8
00:00:17,404 --> 00:00:18,616
No, it doesn't.

9
00:00:18,736 --> 00:00:21,062
Ray's shaking his head,
he's says it doesn't.

10
00:00:21,183 --> 00:00:22,663
Give me the phone, Sue.

11
00:00:23,104 --> 00:00:24,366
You there, Simon?

12
00:00:24,487 --> 00:00:26,188
No, I've flung myself overboard.

13
00:00:26,309 --> 00:00:29,993
When you get to Yarmouth,
go via Afton, not Norton Green.

14
00:00:30,114 --> 00:00:32,668
- It'll be quicker.
- No, it won't, it takes longer.

15
00:00:32,789 --> 00:00:34,832
- No, it doesn't.
- Yes, it does!

16
00:00:34,953 --> 00:00:37,846
Listen,
I've lived on the island for 35 years.

17
00:00:37,967 --> 00:00:40,333
You should know your way round
the place then, shouldn't you?

18
00:00:40,454 --> 00:00:43,679
Will you just listen to me for once
and go via Afton?!

19
00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:45,898
I'm handing you back to your mother.

20
00:00:48,097 --> 00:00:50,686
Hello, love.
Is Donna there?

21
00:00:51,454 --> 00:00:52,746
You have a go.

22
00:00:53,873 --> 00:00:56,798
- Hello, Sue.
- Hello, Donna.

23
00:00:56,919 --> 00:00:59,826
Donna, I can't sign into my iPad.

24
00:01:01,709 --> 00:01:02,971
Okay.

25
00:01:03,836 --> 00:01:05,450
It's probably your password.

26
00:01:05,571 --> 00:01:07,350
What's your password?

27
00:01:07,471 --> 00:01:09,670
- Password?
- It's shitpipe17.

28
00:01:09,791 --> 00:01:13,107
Don't look at me like that!
Andre set it up.

29
00:01:13,228 --> 00:01:15,332
Shitpipe17.

30
00:01:15,453 --> 00:01:17,670
Why is your password Shitpipe17?

31
00:01:17,790 --> 00:01:19,471
Is is your mothers maiden name?

32
00:01:19,591 --> 00:01:22,256
- Well, can you fix it or not?
- Mum?

33
00:01:22,377 --> 00:01:24,513
Mum, can we sort this out when we get there?

34
00:01:24,634 --> 00:01:27,547
- Okay, love, yeah. Drive carefully.
- Yep. Bye.

35
00:01:27,668 --> 00:01:28,870
- Bye!
- Bye-bye.

36
00:01:28,990 --> 00:01:30,677
Did he say he'd go via Af..

37
00:01:30,798 --> 00:01:32,796
Why does your mum always think
I work in IT?

38
00:01:32,917 --> 00:01:35,472
I've no idea.
I'll put it on a long list of things

39
00:01:35,593 --> 00:01:38,820
I do not understand about that woman.
Come on, then.

40
00:01:52,581 --> 00:01:56,392
Sync and corrections: minouhse
www.addic7ed.com

41
00:01:56,513 --> 00:01:59,052
You're definitely going to split up
with me after this weekend.

42
00:01:59,173 --> 00:02:00,573
- Probably.
- No, I'm serious.

43
00:02:00,694 --> 00:02:02,533
Mum and Ray are going to do your head in.

44
00:02:04,691 --> 00:02:06,805
- Speak of the devil.
- Hello, Mum!

45
00:02:06,926 --> 00:02:08,960
We're five minutes away.

46
00:02:09,081 --> 00:02:12,843
Quick question.
Can you ask Donna if she likes raw carrot?

47
00:02:13,577 --> 00:02:15,032
Like raw carrot?

48
00:02:15,153 --> 00:02:17,458
- Yes, thanks, Sue.
- Yeah, she does, Mum.

49
00:02:17,579 --> 00:02:20,471
Thank God!
Donna does like raw carrot, Ray.

50
00:02:20,592 --> 00:02:22,285
What are you on about?

51
00:02:22,406 --> 00:02:24,770
I'll see you when you get here, love.
Bye!

52
00:02:24,891 --> 00:02:27,594
- Okay. Bye, Mum!
- Bye! Bye!

53
00:02:30,870 --> 00:02:32,968
You've just missed the turning for Afton.

54
00:02:33,653 --> 00:02:36,590
Oh, right. Well, you know, that's
the kind of bloke I am, Donna.

55
00:02:36,710 --> 00:02:39,883
If I want to go via Norton Green,
I'm going to go via Norton Green, all right?

56
00:02:40,004 --> 00:02:43,561
- You're so butch!
- I know, it's about time you bloody noticed!

57
00:03:11,510 --> 00:03:13,548
- Hello, Mum!
- Hello, love!

58
00:03:16,418 --> 00:03:18,648
- Hello, Donna!
- Hi, Sue.

59
00:03:19,110 --> 00:03:20,931
Welcome to the island!

60
00:03:24,855 --> 00:03:26,711
- Peanuts!
- Oh, I'm sorry!

61
00:03:26,832 --> 00:03:29,294
She wets herself when she gets excited.

62
00:03:29,415 --> 00:03:31,203
I have the same problem with her, Mum.

63
00:03:31,597 --> 00:03:34,397
- I doubt that for a second!
- These are for you, Sue.

64
00:03:34,518 --> 00:03:35,748
They're lovely!

65
00:03:35,869 --> 00:03:38,208
- Did you go via Afton?
- No, no.

66
00:03:38,329 --> 00:03:39,955
Well, that's why you're late.

67
00:03:40,076 --> 00:03:42,426
- We're not late, are we?
- Look at these.

68
00:03:42,547 --> 00:03:45,499
Well, they'll need to go in the
lean-to because of my lips.

69
00:03:46,070 --> 00:03:47,567
Well, you weren't to know, Donna,

70
00:03:47,688 --> 00:03:50,289
these'll give Ray a runny nose and big lips.

71
00:03:50,410 --> 00:03:53,904
- Hello, Donna, welcome to the island!
- Hello, Ray, nice to see you.

72
00:03:55,482 --> 00:03:58,357
- How's my favourite stepson?
- I'm good. How are you, Ray?

73
00:03:59,143 --> 00:04:02,061
 I'm fine. Do you want
to park your car in front of mine?

74
00:04:03,156 --> 00:04:05,588
Can't I just leave it there?
It's been a long drive.

75
00:04:06,119 --> 00:04:07,813
Just pop it in front of mine.

76
00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:11,027
- Right.
- I'll clean it for you later.

77
00:04:11,148 --> 00:04:12,621
You don't have to.

78
00:04:17,590 --> 00:04:19,860
I'll hoover the inside as well.

79
00:04:24,326 --> 00:04:28,138
Ray went into Totland this morning,
Donna, and got you a block of lard.

80
00:04:28,977 --> 00:04:30,206
Thanks.

81
00:04:30,568 --> 00:04:33,378
We noticed when we came to visit
you didn't have any.

82
00:04:38,614 --> 00:04:42,674
Now, would you kids like to
have lunch inside or outside, Donna?

83
00:04:43,550 --> 00:04:45,145
I don't mind.

84
00:04:45,748 --> 00:04:48,355
Well, it might be nice to have it outside.

85
00:04:48,476 --> 00:04:51,822
You don't think it's too hot to eat
gala pie in the garden?

86
00:04:52,285 --> 00:04:53,605
Maybe.

87
00:04:54,903 --> 00:04:57,106
Although we might regret it
if we have it inside.

88
00:04:57,227 --> 00:04:59,006
Let's eat in the garden, then.

89
00:05:02,097 --> 00:05:03,707
What about the midges?

90
00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:05,946
Well, let's eat inside, then.

91
00:05:06,423 --> 00:05:08,871
Although the midges don't really
bother me and Ray.

92
00:05:08,992 --> 00:05:11,022
Well, let's eat outside, then, Mum.

93
00:05:11,143 --> 00:05:13,659
It seems a shame
when you've come all this way.

94
00:05:13,780 --> 00:05:17,740
Right. Ray, change of plan,
the kids want to eat outside now.

95
00:05:18,323 --> 00:05:20,883
- I thought they would!
- Yeah, make up your mind, Donna!

96
00:05:22,350 --> 00:05:23,975
Bloody hell, is that you?

97
00:05:24,096 --> 00:05:27,117
Yeah, that was my storing food
in my cheeks phase.

98
00:05:27,238 --> 00:05:30,352
Fair play to your mum for not
lobbing you in to the sea at birth.

99
00:05:31,599 --> 00:05:34,420
- The eagles have landed!
- Hello, pal! How are you?

100
00:05:34,541 --> 00:05:36,647
- Good.
-  You remember my stepbrother?

101
00:05:36,768 --> 00:05:38,675
- Yeah. Hello David.
- Hello, Donna!

102
00:05:38,796 --> 00:05:41,110
Oh, wow!
Nice shoes!

103
00:05:41,767 --> 00:05:44,731
Oh, thanks, they're just plimsolls.

104
00:05:45,179 --> 00:05:47,210
No absolutely,
that was a bit much, wasn't it?

105
00:05:47,331 --> 00:05:48,740
Rein it in, David!

106
00:05:49,465 --> 00:05:51,899
- So, how are you, David?
- I'm good, I'm good.

107
00:05:52,403 --> 00:05:55,311
I lost my job but, you know,
it's probably for the best.

108
00:05:55,866 --> 00:05:57,230
Why, what happened?

109
00:05:57,350 --> 00:06:00,731
To a large extent,
for some reason, working on ferries,

110
00:06:00,852 --> 00:06:03,502
specifically the ones I've worked on,
and I think there should be

111
00:06:03,623 --> 00:06:06,501
a documentary made about this,
bullying occurs.

112
00:06:06,622 --> 00:06:08,980
No-one wants to hear about this
again, David.

113
00:06:09,101 --> 00:06:13,316
I'm sorry Dad, but comments were
made about the length of my trousers.

114
00:06:13,838 --> 00:06:15,893
I was ostracised by the other
cafeteria staff and,

115
00:06:16,014 --> 00:06:18,912
on top of that,
I had my coffee sweetener stolen.

116
00:06:19,033 --> 00:06:22,193
And I said to the captain,
"It's not lost, it's stolen!"

117
00:06:24,559 --> 00:06:26,959
Me and David shared this room.

118
00:06:27,079 --> 00:06:29,039
Wow, what was that like?

119
00:06:29,159 --> 00:06:30,846
Yeah.
He chatted a lot.

120
00:06:33,576 --> 00:06:35,990
- Is this all right for you, Donna?
- Yeah, it's great.

121
00:06:36,111 --> 00:06:38,119
Right. Well,
there's a spare duvet under there,

122
00:06:38,239 --> 00:06:41,303
- and I've emptied these drawers out for you.
- Brilliant, thanks.

123
00:06:41,424 --> 00:06:43,791
Right, well, I'll get out of your hair,
let you get settled.

124
00:06:43,912 --> 00:06:44,976
Thanks, Mum.

125
00:06:45,097 --> 00:06:49,028
I'll just quickly plug
this air purifier in for you, Donna.

126
00:06:52,199 --> 00:06:54,318
Do you want me
to put your suitcase in the loft?

127
00:06:54,439 --> 00:06:55,657
No, we're all right.

128
00:06:55,929 --> 00:06:58,394
Ray?
No, we're all right.

129
00:07:00,098 --> 00:07:02,077
- Are you sure?
- Yeah, we're fine.

130
00:07:02,745 --> 00:07:06,574
Fair enough. Well, give us a shout
when you want me to put it up there.

131
00:07:06,879 --> 00:07:09,175
We don't want to put them in the loft.

132
00:07:09,499 --> 00:07:11,878
Right.
If you say so.

133
00:07:14,079 --> 00:07:16,039
Right, I think that's about it.

134
00:07:17,064 --> 00:07:19,423
Donna, do you need any washing doing?

135
00:07:20,472 --> 00:07:21,983
No, it's okay, thanks.

136
00:07:23,593 --> 00:07:25,153
You won't need that.

137
00:07:30,879 --> 00:07:32,639
Right, do you need anything else?

138
00:07:32,759 --> 00:07:34,663
No, we're fine, thanks, Mum.

139
00:07:34,784 --> 00:07:36,499
Well, I'll let you get on with it.

140
00:07:37,559 --> 00:07:40,920
- We've got a new paper shredder.
- Cool.

141
00:07:41,679 --> 00:07:43,275
Yeah.
I'll be going.

142
00:07:47,199 --> 00:07:49,829
I'm so glad you've come
over for your birthday.

143
00:07:49,950 --> 00:07:52,119
Well, thanks for having us, Mum.

144
00:07:52,239 --> 00:07:55,159
I can't believe my little boy's
going to be 40.

145
00:07:57,205 --> 00:07:59,201
Where does the time go, eh?

146
00:08:05,914 --> 00:08:07,474
They're really sweet.

147
00:09:03,618 --> 00:09:07,883
- Come and have some food, Mum!
- Yeah, come on, Sue! Come and sit down!

148
00:09:08,204 --> 00:09:09,832
Pass us the piccalilli, David.

149
00:09:10,488 --> 00:09:11,764
Absolutely!

150
00:09:12,468 --> 00:09:14,228
Stop shouting, please.

151
00:09:14,349 --> 00:09:17,281
Yep, no, keep volume to a reasonable level.

152
00:09:18,079 --> 00:09:20,171
- So, are you living here now?
- Yes.

153
00:09:20,292 --> 00:09:23,259
Dad's been very generous
and patient and has allowed me

154
00:09:23,380 --> 00:09:25,559
to stay here until I'm back on my feet.

155
00:09:25,679 --> 00:09:28,798
Well, you've got a month
and then you're out on your arse.

156
00:09:28,919 --> 00:09:31,655
There's only so much wittering
a man can take, Donna.

157
00:09:32,313 --> 00:09:34,214
Sausages!

158
00:09:37,501 --> 00:09:38,741
Eat up, everybody.

159
00:09:39,519 --> 00:09:40,991
Oh, my God!

160
00:09:42,599 --> 00:09:44,287
Everything all right, Mum?

161
00:09:45,799 --> 00:09:47,319
What's she doing now?!

162
00:09:51,625 --> 00:09:53,335
Napkin rings!

163
00:09:57,523 --> 00:09:59,555
At least we can all relax now.

164
00:10:01,314 --> 00:10:02,514
Thank you.

165
00:10:07,069 --> 00:10:09,694
- How's your mum, Donna?
- Yeah, good.

166
00:10:11,079 --> 00:10:13,800
- How's your dad, Donna?
- Good, thanks.

167
00:10:13,921 --> 00:10:15,938
Lovely.
Give them my love.

168
00:10:16,327 --> 00:10:20,101
Bloody hell, Suzie, you're talking as if
you know them, you've never even met them!

169
00:10:25,119 --> 00:10:26,772
Are you too hot, Donna?

170
00:10:26,893 --> 00:10:28,493
No, I'm fine, thanks.

171
00:10:31,809 --> 00:10:33,799
Do you want to go in the shade, love?

172
00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:35,640
Yes, I think so.

173
00:10:36,579 --> 00:10:38,965
Move yourself a little to the left, then.

174
00:10:39,086 --> 00:10:41,479
Mum doesn't know
if she's sitting in the shade or not.

175
00:10:41,599 --> 00:10:43,439
Am I in the shade now?

176
00:10:43,559 --> 00:10:45,496
No, no, just a bit more.

177
00:10:45,999 --> 00:10:48,410
- Now?
- A bit more.

178
00:10:48,531 --> 00:10:50,239
- Now?
- Now you're in.

179
00:10:50,359 --> 00:10:52,254
Oh, yeah, that feels better!

180
00:10:52,694 --> 00:10:54,792
You don't know if you're
in the shade or not, do you, Mum?

181
00:10:54,913 --> 00:10:57,399
No, I've never been able to tell
where the sun ends

182
00:10:57,519 --> 00:10:58,903
and the shade begins, Donna.

183
00:11:02,079 --> 00:11:03,519
It's a worry, isn't it?

184
00:11:03,639 --> 00:11:06,565
No, it isn't!
Slap him for me, Donna!

185
00:11:10,759 --> 00:11:12,759
Everybody enjoying their gala pie?

186
00:11:12,879 --> 00:11:14,947
- Yeah. Yes, lovely.
- Very good.

187
00:11:15,068 --> 00:11:17,999
If this recipe was online,
I'd give it a digital kiss.

188
00:11:18,119 --> 00:11:21,472
Oh, David, that's a lovely thing to say!

189
00:11:24,801 --> 00:11:26,586
What's that you're eating there, David?

190
00:11:26,707 --> 00:11:28,547
Sweetcorn niblet pie.

191
00:11:29,638 --> 00:11:33,010
David's a vegetarian,
but he doesn't really eat vegetables.

192
00:11:33,131 --> 00:11:35,838
- You live on cereal, don't you, David?
- Absolutely.

193
00:11:36,279 --> 00:11:40,159
A big bowl of granola drenched
in full fat lactose-free milk

194
00:11:40,279 --> 00:11:41,952
is my crack cocaine!

195
00:11:42,839 --> 00:11:44,482
Would you like some more gala pie?

196
00:11:44,603 --> 00:11:45,879
No, I'm fine, thank you.

197
00:11:45,999 --> 00:11:48,567
- Have that little bit.
- Honestly, I'm full.

198
00:11:48,688 --> 00:11:51,485
Go on, eat it, it'll only go to waste.

199
00:11:55,559 --> 00:11:57,724
Have you met anyone famous lately, David?

200
00:11:58,307 --> 00:12:02,807
Yes, I have. I met Clare Balding
at the Medina Centre back in April,

201
00:12:02,928 --> 00:12:06,518
and Dan Walker at the Southampton Boat Show.

202
00:12:06,639 --> 00:12:09,172
- He's a creationist, you know?
- Oh, is he?

203
00:12:09,839 --> 00:12:12,259
David likes to have his
photo taken with celebrities.

204
00:12:14,596 --> 00:12:16,174
Have you met anyone else?

205
00:12:16,295 --> 00:12:20,092
Well, next month I'm popping over to
the Bournemouth International Centre

206
00:12:20,236 --> 00:12:23,556
to see if I can get a selfie with
Gladys Knight & The Pips.

207
00:12:24,674 --> 00:12:27,470
I think it's high time you left
these celebrities alone.

208
00:12:27,591 --> 00:12:30,811
I've seen the photos,
and they look very, very wary of you.

209
00:12:31,385 --> 00:12:32,705
Very wary.

210
00:12:39,239 --> 00:12:42,035
Oh, yeah, Mum, why's there a bread
knife in the downstairs loo?

211
00:12:46,735 --> 00:12:48,066
It's for David.

212
00:12:49,439 --> 00:12:51,109
Can we just leave it there?

213
00:12:51,363 --> 00:12:52,569
All right.

214
00:12:53,427 --> 00:12:56,529
As Suzie was saying,
I don't eat enough vegetables or grains.

215
00:12:57,912 --> 00:13:00,239
Sometimes the flush isn't powerful enough,

216
00:13:00,366 --> 00:13:02,246
so it just needs a bit of persuasion.

217
00:13:03,154 --> 00:13:05,425
- You know, chop it up.
- Oh, God!

218
00:13:07,567 --> 00:13:09,199
More gala pie, Donna?

219
00:13:10,635 --> 00:13:12,134
Andre, love.

220
00:13:13,064 --> 00:13:15,499
- I've pruned the roses, boss.
- Good lad.

221
00:13:15,620 --> 00:13:18,205
Andre, would you like some quiche, love?

222
00:13:19,016 --> 00:13:20,479
I don't know, really.

223
00:13:21,480 --> 00:13:23,517
I don't usually like your food, Sue.

224
00:13:27,020 --> 00:13:29,479
Well, help yourself, then.

225
00:13:41,719 --> 00:13:42,919
That's horrible.

226
00:13:59,141 --> 00:14:00,886
Can't believe they reckon it's
going to rain later.

227
00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:03,410
Oh, it won't rain, it's lovely.

228
00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:09,653
Do you want to stop for a breather, love?

229
00:14:10,159 --> 00:14:11,559
Please, love.

230
00:14:13,058 --> 00:14:14,538
Where's that over there?

231
00:14:15,662 --> 00:14:17,466
That's Tennyson Down.

232
00:14:18,239 --> 00:14:22,559
Round the corner, there, past those
chalky bits, over The Solent,

233
00:14:22,679 --> 00:14:23,897
that's Lymington.

234
00:14:24,128 --> 00:14:26,202
Where they filmed Howard's Way.

235
00:14:26,483 --> 00:14:30,397
Can we go one day without you
mentioning that bloody programme?!

236
00:14:30,518 --> 00:14:33,619
Sorry, I was just so fond of that series.

237
00:14:33,740 --> 00:14:36,628
Donna, do you want to see this trick?
Peanuts, sit.

238
00:14:36,749 --> 00:14:39,702
Good, sit!
No, howl for Donna!

239
00:14:57,121 --> 00:14:59,535
Believe it or not,
eventually he going to shit on this.

240
00:14:59,656 --> 00:15:01,230
Good girl, good girl!

241
00:15:01,971 --> 00:15:03,496
Isn't she clever, Donna?

242
00:15:03,617 --> 00:15:04,819
Yeah, she certainly is.

243
00:15:04,940 --> 00:15:07,288
Yeah, I think a better trick
might be to teach her not to

244
00:15:07,409 --> 00:15:09,304
piss on people's shoes, Mum.

245
00:15:13,364 --> 00:15:16,508
This is the spot where we
want our ashes scattered.

246
00:15:16,629 --> 00:15:19,916
- I don't want to talk about this now, Mum.
- No, you have to, you know?

247
00:15:20,037 --> 00:15:22,287
Cos you never know what's going to happen.

248
00:15:22,408 --> 00:15:24,779
I mentioned it to your mum
about scattering them in The Solent

249
00:15:24,900 --> 00:15:27,200
but she said no, cos she can't swim.

250
00:15:27,321 --> 00:15:28,611
Well, I can't!

251
00:15:43,705 --> 00:15:45,429
- Oh, man.
- What?

252
00:15:45,550 --> 00:15:46,928
Don't you dare, Ray.

253
00:15:47,049 --> 00:15:49,941
- What's going on?
- I'm not having this again.

254
00:15:50,062 --> 00:15:51,742
Come on, Peanuts.

255
00:15:52,102 --> 00:15:53,662
Ray?
What are you doing?

256
00:15:55,022 --> 00:15:56,670
Ray says this is a right of way,

257
00:15:56,791 --> 00:15:59,558
so he doesn't see why
we should have to walk round.

258
00:16:01,507 --> 00:16:02,742
Mum?!

259
00:16:04,847 --> 00:16:06,207
I should probably...

260
00:16:12,138 --> 00:16:13,338
Excuse me?!

261
00:16:18,218 --> 00:16:20,605
It's that little prat from the village again.

262
00:16:22,879 --> 00:16:25,539
Sorry, so sorry.
Sorry!

263
00:16:27,626 --> 00:16:28,721
Sorry about this.

264
00:16:28,842 --> 00:16:31,729
- Every time we play a match.
- What is your problem, mate?

265
00:16:31,850 --> 00:16:33,689
Come on, let's get out of here.

266
00:16:34,345 --> 00:16:36,270
At least their cricket match
will be rained off.

267
00:16:36,391 --> 00:16:38,076
That's the spirit, Ray, live and let live!

268
00:16:38,197 --> 00:16:40,627
Good job we bought these umbrellas,
isn't it, Simon?

269
00:16:41,302 --> 00:16:43,062
We'd get absolutely soaked!

270
00:16:59,128 --> 00:17:00,542
Is that Dad?!

271
00:17:09,853 --> 00:17:11,111
Hi, Simon.

272
00:17:11,381 --> 00:17:12,658
Hi, Dad.

273
00:17:13,839 --> 00:17:16,302
- Hi, Sue.
- Hi, Larry.

274
00:17:17,109 --> 00:17:18,829
This is Melissa, everyone.

275
00:17:19,502 --> 00:17:22,222
Hi, hi, everyone, great to meet you.

276
00:17:22,342 --> 00:17:24,534
This is my son, Simon.

277
00:17:25,076 --> 00:17:27,111
Wow, Simon!

278
00:17:27,232 --> 00:17:28,613
This is Donna.

279
00:17:28,734 --> 00:17:30,167
- Hello. 
- Hi, Donna.

280
00:17:30,288 --> 00:17:32,640
Nice to meet you at long last.

281
00:17:32,761 --> 00:17:34,719
Where have you been hiding this one, Simon?

282
00:17:35,016 --> 00:17:37,182
Yeah.
Have you dyed your hair, Dad?

283
00:17:37,302 --> 00:17:38,811
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, that was my idea.

284
00:17:38,932 --> 00:17:41,382
- Embarrassing.
- It looks great, doesn't it?

285
00:17:41,503 --> 00:17:42,742
I have.

286
00:17:43,241 --> 00:17:44,614
- Do you like it?
- I love it!

287
00:17:45,008 --> 00:17:47,066
Superb!
Congratulations!

288
00:17:47,531 --> 00:17:49,614
- It's very nice, Larry.
- Yeah, it's great.

289
00:17:49,735 --> 00:17:50,937
Yeah, so far, so good,

290
00:17:51,058 --> 00:17:54,422
I've had a lovely reaction
from everyone I've met.

291
00:17:54,542 --> 00:17:57,712
I just don't think you suited being grey.
I mean, who does? You know?

292
00:17:57,833 --> 00:18:00,358
It just made his face look so old.

293
00:18:03,192 --> 00:18:07,378
Melissa wanted me to have a full head of,
you know, darker hair.

294
00:18:07,499 --> 00:18:10,820
And we're getting that varicose vein
seen to in the New Year.

295
00:18:10,941 --> 00:18:12,742
Again, congratulations!

296
00:18:12,862 --> 00:18:15,045
Do you have to tell everyone darling?

297
00:18:15,166 --> 00:18:17,349
Isn't that a dangerous procedure?

298
00:18:17,470 --> 00:18:22,909
No, no. Basically they just heat up the leg
until the vein collapses.

299
00:18:23,030 --> 00:18:26,068
They said it might hurt a little and
I have to wear a big stocking for a month...

300
00:18:26,189 --> 00:18:28,588
- But it'll be so worth it!
- Of course, it'll be worth it.

301
00:18:28,709 --> 00:18:31,942
It'll be worth it. Yeah, it's worth it.
You know, no pain, no gain.

302
00:18:32,063 --> 00:18:35,235
Well, I wish you all the best
with your endeavours, simple as that.

303
00:18:35,356 --> 00:18:37,058
Thank you!

304
00:18:37,140 --> 00:18:38,611
That's really sweet.

305
00:18:39,145 --> 00:18:41,396
- Right, Larry, we should...
- Oh, yes.

306
00:18:41,485 --> 00:18:43,928
Hey, listen, it's been a real pleasure.

307
00:18:45,422 --> 00:18:47,130
- Lovely to meet you, Donna.
- And you.

308
00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:52,646
You are still coming to Simon's
birthday lunch, aren't you, on Sunday?

309
00:18:55,021 --> 00:18:57,245
Of course we are!
What time?

310
00:18:57,366 --> 00:18:58,970
We said about one.

311
00:18:59,091 --> 00:19:00,902
Excellent, with bells on.

312
00:19:01,022 --> 00:19:02,911
- Okay. Bye, now.
- Bye, everyone.

313
00:19:03,032 --> 00:19:04,777
Bye, Dad.
Bye, Melissa.

314
00:19:04,898 --> 00:19:06,858
Bye, see you Sunday.

315
00:19:11,822 --> 00:19:15,167
- I'm not saying anything.
- Can we just go? I'm bursting.

316
00:19:19,262 --> 00:19:22,582
- Your dad's in better nick than you are.
- Oh, thanks very much.

317
00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:27,102
Do you know he's got a tattoo
of a skull on his shoulder blade?

318
00:19:27,222 --> 00:19:28,547
Has he?

319
00:19:29,583 --> 00:19:31,256
You don't seem that surprised.

320
00:19:31,377 --> 00:19:33,737
You're like two peas in a pod, you two.

321
00:19:35,098 --> 00:19:37,178
What do you think of his new girlfriend?

322
00:19:37,338 --> 00:19:40,731
Oh, yeah, lovely, yeah.
Really nice, really unpretentious,

323
00:19:40,852 --> 00:19:43,107
just the sort of person you want
coming to your birthday

324
00:19:43,228 --> 00:19:44,668
I'm sure it'll be fine.

325
00:19:44,789 --> 00:19:46,686
Yeah, I'm sure it will be.

326
00:19:48,404 --> 00:19:49,879
Are you all right mate?

327
00:19:50,136 --> 00:19:52,824
Oh, sorry.
I'm just afraid of birds getting in here.

328
00:19:53,028 --> 00:19:54,039
What?!

329
00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:56,321
I don't like it when birds come
through the door.

330
00:19:56,442 --> 00:19:57,935
Has that happened?

331
00:19:58,056 --> 00:20:00,191
Oh, yes.
It's very disorientating.

332
00:20:00,312 --> 00:20:02,985
And it's a double threat because
they drop their faeces everywhere,

333
00:20:03,106 --> 00:20:04,943
and last time I got incredibly ill.

334
00:20:05,383 --> 00:20:06,742
Sorry, what are you on about?

335
00:20:06,862 --> 00:20:10,825
I was given the bacteria virus
campylobacter by a garden wren, Simon.

336
00:20:11,731 --> 00:20:13,011
Oh, you may mock,

337
00:20:13,132 --> 00:20:15,757
but it saw an opportunity
and managed to squeeze its way in.

338
00:20:15,878 --> 00:20:17,778
I had a rolled up copy of the Radio Times,

339
00:20:17,922 --> 00:20:20,022
and dad had a rolled up copy
of the County Press,

340
00:20:20,143 --> 00:20:22,375
and we finally managed to guide it out.

341
00:20:22,563 --> 00:20:26,336
So, as you can imagine,
I'm keen not to experience that again.

342
00:20:47,622 --> 00:20:50,341
Good heavens, that's a thick one!

343
00:20:52,582 --> 00:20:55,519
Bloody hell!
Why don't you cut your own toenails, Ray!

344
00:20:56,584 --> 00:20:58,464
Cos Sue does it better than me.

345
00:20:58,980 --> 00:21:01,449
- And it turns me on!
- Oh, how lovely.

346
00:21:05,142 --> 00:21:08,998
Donna, can you pass me that little
Tupperware container, please?

347
00:21:12,992 --> 00:21:14,212
Thank you, Donna.

348
00:21:28,281 --> 00:21:30,062
Go on, you naughty thing!

349
00:21:37,823 --> 00:21:40,613
You'll be doing this for him
in a few years, Donna.

350
00:21:41,714 --> 00:21:43,198
Trust me, I won't.

351
00:21:46,410 --> 00:21:49,370
What time do you normally go to bed, Donna?

352
00:21:52,058 --> 00:21:53,959
I dunno, about half ten?

353
00:21:54,310 --> 00:21:56,338
That's the time we'll all go to bed, then.

354
00:21:56,459 --> 00:21:59,021
- No, no. We don't have to.
- No, no.

355
00:22:01,271 --> 00:22:02,814
What are you watching David?

356
00:22:02,935 --> 00:22:04,728
I'm on Google Maps.

357
00:22:04,849 --> 00:22:06,522
Just having a look round Hollywood.

358
00:22:07,382 --> 00:22:08,631
Oh, right.

359
00:22:08,752 --> 00:22:10,915
It's a fascinating place.

360
00:22:12,027 --> 00:22:14,434
I've just turned in to Hugh Hefner's street.

361
00:22:16,058 --> 00:22:19,048
My word, there are so many
cars parked on his driveway!

362
00:22:22,987 --> 00:22:25,213
He's not blessed is he, that Andy Murray?

363
00:22:25,334 --> 00:22:28,717
He's like his mother,
his neck's as thick as his head.

364
00:22:30,905 --> 00:22:33,261
How much do them Wimbledon winners get paid?

365
00:22:33,382 --> 00:22:35,463
Why, are you thinking of entering, Ray?

366
00:22:37,862 --> 00:22:41,323
Siri, how much do Wimbledon winners
get paid?

367
00:22:41,444 --> 00:22:42,644
Let me think.

368
00:22:43,415 --> 00:22:47,813
Here's what I found on the web for
"How much do Wimbledon winners get paid?"

369
00:22:48,867 --> 00:22:50,884
£2 million?!

370
00:22:51,005 --> 00:22:52,412
That's amazing, Suzie,

371
00:22:52,533 --> 00:22:54,834
and the women get paid the same as the men!

372
00:22:54,955 --> 00:22:57,700
Which doesn't make sense,
because they're not as good.

373
00:22:58,238 --> 00:22:59,582
And they only play three sets.

374
00:22:59,702 --> 00:23:02,949
Well, that's because they bring
in the same amount of audience, isn't it?

375
00:23:03,070 --> 00:23:05,634
- We don't watch the women, do we, Sue?
- No.

376
00:23:06,070 --> 00:23:09,916
To be honest, Donna,
I don't like the ones who grunt.

377
00:23:10,335 --> 00:23:12,833
Mum, do you know you say Donna's name a lot?

378
00:23:13,323 --> 00:23:16,257
- Do I?
- Yeah, at the end of a lot of your sentences.

379
00:23:16,378 --> 00:23:17,632
Doesn't matter.

380
00:23:18,074 --> 00:23:19,942
I've not noticed her saying "Donna."

381
00:23:20,062 --> 00:23:23,374
- Well, I have, that's why I brought it up.
- Honestly, it's fine.

382
00:23:23,495 --> 00:23:25,542
I think you're making a mountain
out of a molehill.

383
00:23:25,662 --> 00:23:27,912
Oh, do you, Ray?
That's not like you to have an opinion.

384
00:23:28,033 --> 00:23:29,248
Simon!

385
00:23:29,369 --> 00:23:33,220
You didn't seem to mind what Suzie said
when we gave you our old car last year.

386
00:23:33,341 --> 00:23:36,461
- What's that supposed to mean?
- Well, look at the state of it!

387
00:23:36,820 --> 00:23:38,342
Now's not the time, Ray.

388
00:23:38,462 --> 00:23:40,148
Sorry, what's your point?

389
00:23:40,269 --> 00:23:43,462
When we gave it to you it was spotless.
Now look it.

390
00:23:43,582 --> 00:23:45,669
All that crap in the footwells.

391
00:23:45,790 --> 00:23:49,102
That's the problem with you Simon,
you don't know how to look after things.

392
00:23:49,222 --> 00:23:50,302
What are you on about?!

393
00:23:50,422 --> 00:23:53,975
That car was a present, 
and you turn it in to a dustbin.

394
00:23:54,154 --> 00:23:57,355
In fact, we feel quite disrespected.

395
00:23:57,476 --> 00:24:00,443
Well, if I'm not looking after it to your
standard, you can have it back if you want.

396
00:24:00,564 --> 00:24:02,639
Oh, stop it, the pair of you!

397
00:24:03,428 --> 00:24:06,931
Honestly, Donna, they're like oil and water,
they just don't mix.

398
00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:09,222
Oh, I've said Donna again.

399
00:24:13,647 --> 00:24:17,143
For God's sake, you and Ray
are a bloody nightmare sometimes.

400
00:24:17,264 --> 00:24:19,028
Well, getting Mum to cut his toenails?

401
00:24:19,149 --> 00:24:22,305
- What does he think he is, a parrot?
- Can you just rise above it, please?

402
00:24:22,426 --> 00:24:24,350
I'm here as well, so it affects me.

403
00:24:26,896 --> 00:24:29,813
God, this bed is so uncomfortable.

404
00:24:29,934 --> 00:24:32,049
It's like lying on a cattle grid.

405
00:24:36,141 --> 00:24:39,257
I don't think my dad remembered it
was my birthday this weekend.

406
00:24:42,801 --> 00:24:44,633
Do you fancy going into Ventor tomorrow?

407
00:24:44,754 --> 00:24:47,608
We could have a look at some of
those knick-knack shops that you hate.

408
00:24:47,729 --> 00:24:49,684
Great, yeah,
I'll look forward to that.

409
00:25:04,302 --> 00:25:06,236
Oh, for fu...

410
00:25:06,822 --> 00:25:08,102
Hello?!

411
00:25:13,462 --> 00:25:16,582
Can you deal with this?
Otherwise I'll head-butt someone. God.

412
00:25:24,892 --> 00:25:27,736
Hello, Donna.
I just wanted to say, you don't

413
00:25:27,857 --> 00:25:31,541
have to get up early in the morning,
stay in bed as long as you like.

414
00:25:31,825 --> 00:25:34,967
- Okay, thanks.
- But we'll still be getting up at six.

415
00:25:36,142 --> 00:25:38,102
But we won't have breakfast
until you come down.

416
00:25:38,222 --> 00:25:40,332
No, no, if you're hungry, have breakfast.

417
00:25:40,453 --> 00:25:43,110
- We'll grab something when we get up.
- Yeah, we'll grab something.

418
00:25:43,675 --> 00:25:45,329
No,
We'll wait for you.

419
00:25:45,450 --> 00:25:47,347
Now, have you got enough pillows?

420
00:25:47,556 --> 00:25:49,022
- Yeah, thanks.
- Yeah.

421
00:25:49,142 --> 00:25:50,882
Are you sure you
wouldn't like a couple off our bed?

422
00:25:51,003 --> 00:25:52,406
No, don't worry, we're fine.

423
00:25:52,527 --> 00:25:54,585
I'll get you a couple, just in case.

424
00:25:57,350 --> 00:25:59,382
Oi, why are you taking my pillows?

425
00:25:59,502 --> 00:26:02,907
Ray, will you put your pyjama bottoms on?!

426
00:26:05,262 --> 00:26:08,498
There you are, Donna.
Now, is there anything else I can do for you?

427
00:26:08,619 --> 00:26:11,360
- No, thanks. 
- Well, I'll say goodnight, then.

428
00:26:11,481 --> 00:26:14,109
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight, Giuseppe!

429
00:26:15,005 --> 00:26:18,025
- Night, Mum.
- Come to bed, you daft cow!

430
00:26:18,146 --> 00:26:20,181
Simon and Donna are going to bed!

431
00:26:20,302 --> 00:26:22,615
- Goodnight!
- Goodnight!

432
00:26:24,097 --> 00:26:25,995
It's like Piccadilly Circus!

433
00:26:26,881 --> 00:26:28,913
- G'night, Donna.
- G'night.

434
00:26:29,034 --> 00:26:30,344
Goodnight, David.

435
00:26:30,465 --> 00:26:31,677
Goodnight.

436
00:26:31,798 --> 00:26:34,189
- Night, Dad.
- Go to bed, David!

437
00:26:34,698 --> 00:26:37,207
- Absolutely!
- Stop shouting, David!

438
00:26:37,886 --> 00:26:39,874
- Night-night!
- Night.

439
00:26:39,995 --> 00:26:41,235
Night-night.

440
00:26:47,130 --> 00:26:48,978
Why's your mum got a paper shredder?

441
00:26:49,099 --> 00:26:52,647
She does a lot of secret work for
the Ministry of Defence, you know?

442
00:26:52,768 --> 00:26:55,017
In between keep fit and the craft club.

443
00:27:01,908 --> 00:27:05,407
- Are you all right?
- Yeah. You?

444
00:27:06,200 --> 00:27:09,062
- Are you sure?
- Yeah. Why?

445
00:27:09,424 --> 00:27:11,783
They're not too mental for you, are they?

446
00:27:15,770 --> 00:27:18,479
- I'm loving it.
- Thought you might.

447
00:27:19,322 --> 00:27:20,862
Goodnight, Giuseppe.

448
00:27:22,646 --> 00:27:24,149
Yeah, goodnight.

449
00:27:33,102 --> 00:27:34,582
Suzie?!

450
00:27:35,178 --> 00:27:37,498
Any idea where the bread knife is?!

451
00:27:37,618 --> 00:27:42,218
Sync and corrections: minouhse
www.addic7ed.com