1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000
Downloaded from
YTS.MX
2
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000
Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
3
00:00:17,001 --> 00:00:18,959
[birds chirping]
4
00:00:20,626 --> 00:00:24,001
- Sing Goddess, Achilles' rage
5
00:00:24,126 --> 00:00:29,084
black, murderous, that cost
the Greeks incalculable pain
6
00:00:29,209 --> 00:00:33,251
pitched countless souls
of heroes into Hades' dark.
7
00:00:34,501 --> 00:00:36,209
Left their bodies to rot
8
00:00:36,459 --> 00:00:40,209
as corpses for dogs
and birds.
9
00:00:41,792 --> 00:00:43,501
- Did you learn that
last night?
10
00:00:43,626 --> 00:00:44,709
- [sighs]
11
00:00:44,834 --> 00:00:45,834
There's not a lot here is there,
12
00:00:45,876 --> 00:00:47,292
really,
when you think about it?
13
00:00:47,334 --> 00:00:48,876
- No, it's not like the film.
14
00:00:49,001 --> 00:00:50,834
It was all sandy beaches,
wasn't it?
15
00:00:51,209 --> 00:00:55,126
- Greeks were camped here
for ten years.
16
00:00:55,542 --> 00:00:57,459
- Too long, isn't it?
- Too long to camp.
17
00:00:58,584 --> 00:01:00,251
I can do a week, tops.
18
00:01:00,459 --> 00:01:02,917
- In the Lake District.
- Yeah, with a pillow.
19
00:01:03,209 --> 00:01:04,584
I won't camp
without a pillow.
20
00:01:06,876 --> 00:01:08,751
- Had a bad dream last night.
21
00:01:09,001 --> 00:01:10,959
- How was it, a portent?
22
00:01:11,084 --> 00:01:13,834
- I don't know,
it was, it was bad.
23
00:01:15,417 --> 00:01:18,084
- I had a portent once
on the old groundsheet.
24
00:01:19,334 --> 00:01:21,417
Stick your head out more.
25
00:01:21,501 --> 00:01:24,376
Find your light.
That's it.
26
00:01:24,501 --> 00:01:25,751
Do an "ah-hah."
27
00:01:27,334 --> 00:01:29,042
- Ah-hah!
- Got it.
28
00:01:29,542 --> 00:01:31,709
[instrumental piano music]
29
00:01:31,751 --> 00:01:33,709
??
30
00:01:48,001 --> 00:01:49,126
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
31
00:01:49,251 --> 00:01:51,001
- Here's to an enjoyable
excursion.
32
00:01:51,126 --> 00:01:52,376
- Yeah, hmm.
33
00:01:52,501 --> 00:01:53,667
Hmm.
34
00:01:53,792 --> 00:01:55,501
Bellissimo.
- Hmm, hmm, hmm.
35
00:01:56,876 --> 00:01:58,834
It's very odd, isn't it,
to start
36
00:01:58,959 --> 00:02:00,834
a trip to Greece in Turkey?
37
00:02:01,001 --> 00:02:05,334
- It was the Observers' idea, um,
to retrace the steps of, um
38
00:02:05,417 --> 00:02:08,292
Odysseus and the Odyssey,
so that-- that's we're doing.
39
00:02:08,417 --> 00:02:10,667
- A ten-year odyssey
in six days, I mean
40
00:02:10,792 --> 00:02:12,376
it's a-- it's ambitious, Steve.
41
00:02:12,501 --> 00:02:14,709
- It-- it might sound ambitious,
but if you think of
42
00:02:14,834 --> 00:02:16,834
uh, "Ulysses," by James Joyce.
43
00:02:16,959 --> 00:02:18,959
- Thanks for telling me the author,
I'd never have known.
44
00:02:19,084 --> 00:02:21,251
- I'm just putting the information
out there in case you don't...
45
00:02:21,417 --> 00:02:22,376
I don't want, you know...
46
00:02:22,501 --> 00:02:23,709
- Well, that's like me saying
47
00:02:23,834 --> 00:02:26,251
"Harry Potter"
by J. K. Rowling.
48
00:02:26,376 --> 00:02:28,292
- I wouldn't put "Harry Potter"
and "Ulysses"
49
00:02:28,417 --> 00:02:30,376
in the same,
in the same camp.
50
00:02:30,501 --> 00:02:32,501
Apart from they're both books.
But, um--
51
00:02:32,626 --> 00:02:34,376
- "Harry Potter"
has sold truckloads of books.
52
00:02:34,501 --> 00:02:36,167
- Yeah, but the thing is,
I don't measure success by
53
00:02:36,292 --> 00:02:37,959
units sold.
54
00:02:38,084 --> 00:02:39,959
- You're always telling me
the figures for your TV shows.
55
00:02:40,084 --> 00:02:41,167
- And, yes,
but it's not it's just--
56
00:02:41,334 --> 00:02:43,501
- And the consolidated ones at that.
- It's yes.
57
00:02:43,542 --> 00:02:45,542
- 'Cause the actual time of
viewing aren't impressive
58
00:02:45,584 --> 00:02:48,376
but you do tell me
the consolidated figures.
59
00:02:48,501 --> 00:02:51,084
- It's nice to be liked,
but you shouldn't go out there
60
00:02:51,209 --> 00:02:52,626
trying to be liked.
61
00:02:52,751 --> 00:02:55,126
[utensils clattering]
62
00:02:58,834 --> 00:03:01,834
- If you think that we
have been doing these
63
00:03:01,959 --> 00:03:04,459
trips for nearly ten years
64
00:03:04,584 --> 00:03:07,709
then I suppose the,
in a macro sense
65
00:03:07,834 --> 00:03:09,959
we've been on this odyssey
for ten years.
66
00:03:10,084 --> 00:03:11,376
- Yeah?
- Is it ten years?
67
00:03:11,501 --> 00:03:13,584
- Yeah. It is.
68
00:03:13,709 --> 00:03:14,876
Since the Lakes.
69
00:03:15,584 --> 00:03:16,709
- Hmm.
70
00:03:17,042 --> 00:03:18,792
- A bit of Richard Gere there.
Hmm.
71
00:03:18,917 --> 00:03:20,209
Just looking off.
72
00:03:20,334 --> 00:03:21,959
- Huh.
- Yeah, lovely.
73
00:03:22,126 --> 00:03:24,417
Yeah. And you're looking
more like him as well.
74
00:03:24,501 --> 00:03:27,001
- That's good?
- No, I wasn't being serious.
75
00:03:27,126 --> 00:03:28,334
I was joking.
- Oh.
76
00:03:28,459 --> 00:03:30,751
- You look nothing like him.
- Ah.
77
00:03:30,876 --> 00:03:33,167
- My God, you lapped the
compliment up, didn't you?
78
00:03:33,292 --> 00:03:35,167
Look at that.
- Well, it's not unreasonable.
79
00:03:35,292 --> 00:03:36,667
I'm-- I'm not... I, I mean,
I'm wearing my years
80
00:03:36,792 --> 00:03:38,251
reasonably well.
81
00:03:38,376 --> 00:03:39,834
- Yeah, but in no way do you
resemble Richard Gere.
82
00:03:39,959 --> 00:03:41,167
- Okay, I don't think--
83
00:03:41,292 --> 00:03:42,376
- You look like a great
Steve Coogan.
84
00:03:42,501 --> 00:03:43,876
'Cause you're looking terrific.
85
00:03:44,001 --> 00:03:45,209
- And I'm happy with that,
more than that.
86
00:03:45,334 --> 00:03:46,834
- Yeah, you clutched
at Richard Gere.
87
00:03:46,959 --> 00:03:48,751
- I look better as I get older.
Lots of women say that.
88
00:03:48,876 --> 00:03:50,209
- Yes, you do,
yes, you do.
89
00:03:50,334 --> 00:03:51,542
Well, I'm gonna,
I'm just gonna say it as well
90
00:03:51,667 --> 00:03:52,584
I'm saying it,
you look better older.
91
00:03:52,709 --> 00:03:53,834
- Well, thank you.
92
00:03:53,959 --> 00:03:55,542
- You were unpalatable
as a young man.
93
00:03:55,667 --> 00:03:57,251
[machine whirring]
94
00:03:59,334 --> 00:04:00,667
What's this?
95
00:04:00,792 --> 00:04:02,667
- If I'm not mistaken,
it's a Penguin classic.
96
00:04:02,792 --> 00:04:04,376
- And it's by Aristotle.
97
00:04:04,501 --> 00:04:07,042
- I know Ari, yeah.
I know all the Stotles.
98
00:04:07,167 --> 00:04:09,251
- Poetics.
Listen to this.
99
00:04:09,376 --> 00:04:12,917
"Epic poetry and the composition
of tragedy, as well as comedy
100
00:04:13,042 --> 00:04:15,792
"and the arts of poetry
and music are
101
00:04:15,917 --> 00:04:18,626
"all imitations.
102
00:04:18,751 --> 00:04:22,501
"Imitation comes naturally
to human beings.
103
00:04:22,626 --> 00:04:27,167
And so does the universal
pleasure in imitation."
104
00:04:28,292 --> 00:04:29,376
- Um...
- Not my words.
105
00:04:29,501 --> 00:04:30,876
The words of Aristotle.
106
00:04:31,001 --> 00:04:33,209
[sizzling]
107
00:04:35,959 --> 00:04:38,626
So much of-- of art
and acting is imitation.
108
00:04:38,751 --> 00:04:39,959
Nothing wrong with it.
109
00:04:40,084 --> 00:04:42,751
You did a fantastic imitation
110
00:04:42,876 --> 00:04:47,501
uh, of Stan Laurel in
Stan and Ollie, it was superb.
111
00:04:47,626 --> 00:04:50,626
- Hmm. I'm not sure it's an imitation,
that's the thing.
112
00:04:50,751 --> 00:04:52,251
- I watched it
on a BAFTA screener.
113
00:04:52,376 --> 00:04:54,959
I only paused it three times
to go to the kitchen.
114
00:04:55,417 --> 00:04:56,917
And that in our house...
115
00:04:57,042 --> 00:04:58,501
That's good.
- Yeah. Okay, well, yeah.
116
00:04:58,626 --> 00:05:01,209
- You had--
You had this, yeah?
117
00:05:01,334 --> 00:05:03,584
Had the-- the pause,
you know the pause?
118
00:05:03,709 --> 00:05:05,126
- Hmm.
- You did that beautifully.
119
00:05:05,251 --> 00:05:07,501
- I certainly did.
- Hmm!
120
00:05:07,626 --> 00:05:12,084
Now, why don't you just stop
sitting there and help me?
121
00:05:12,209 --> 00:05:13,501
Hmm?
122
00:05:13,626 --> 00:05:15,834
- Well, I'd-- I'd try,
but, uh, I-- I...
123
00:05:15,959 --> 00:05:17,584
I don't know what you
want me to do.
124
00:05:17,709 --> 00:05:20,626
- Stan Laurel
and Tom Hardy, ready?
125
00:05:21,126 --> 00:05:24,292
Why don't you just come and
hit me instead of sitting there?
126
00:05:24,376 --> 00:05:25,876
- I can't hear what
you're saying, Tom
127
00:05:26,042 --> 00:05:27,584
you always mumble your lines.
128
00:05:27,709 --> 00:05:29,084
- Hmm!
129
00:05:29,459 --> 00:05:31,126
[utensils clattering]
130
00:05:35,792 --> 00:05:38,084
Thank you very much.
Lovely, really nice.
131
00:05:38,334 --> 00:05:40,542
I'm being bitten.
132
00:05:40,751 --> 00:05:42,542
It doesn't help
that we're under a tree.
133
00:05:42,792 --> 00:05:46,209
Insects love to be under trees.
Do you know why?
134
00:05:46,334 --> 00:05:48,334
- Yeah, I-- I went out
on my land recently.
135
00:05:48,459 --> 00:05:49,959
- Yeah.
- Uh, to sit under a tree.
136
00:05:50,084 --> 00:05:51,917
- Thirty-six acres, isn't it?
- Thirty-eight.
137
00:05:52,042 --> 00:05:53,792
And I went to sit under
a tree just to--
138
00:05:53,917 --> 00:05:55,459
- To think.
Just to think?
139
00:05:55,584 --> 00:05:58,626
- No, no, to read a book,
actually, I put a blanket down
140
00:05:58,751 --> 00:06:01,292
just 'cause, you know, there's a
tree, and I sat under it and, um
141
00:06:01,417 --> 00:06:02,834
started to read,
and loads of flies started
142
00:06:02,959 --> 00:06:04,376
hovering over my head, so...
143
00:06:04,501 --> 00:06:06,501
So, I just got up
and just went back in the house.
144
00:06:06,626 --> 00:06:07,959
I had this idea that it would--
145
00:06:08,084 --> 00:06:09,292
- Steve Coogan,
ladies and gentlemen
146
00:06:09,417 --> 00:06:11,834
wonderful stories
from Steve, um
147
00:06:11,959 --> 00:06:14,417
and there'll be more from him
at the same time next week.
148
00:06:14,542 --> 00:06:17,084
You know, you must do that one
about the flies under the, uh
149
00:06:17,209 --> 00:06:19,542
under the tree, I mean,
it-- it's wonderful stuff.
150
00:06:19,667 --> 00:06:22,001
Fred said he saw you at, uh,
Lords Taverner's
151
00:06:22,126 --> 00:06:23,334
doing that, and, uh
152
00:06:23,459 --> 00:06:25,001
had the room
in the palm of his hand
153
00:06:25,126 --> 00:06:26,626
that's, that's what he said.
154
00:06:26,751 --> 00:06:28,334
Wonderful story.
155
00:06:28,459 --> 00:06:29,709
The new Ustinov.
156
00:06:30,376 --> 00:06:32,126
- [laughs]
157
00:06:32,251 --> 00:06:33,834
- Steve Coogan.
158
00:06:33,959 --> 00:06:34,917
If you heard that story
Steve's telling?
159
00:06:35,042 --> 00:06:36,501
No, what is it?
160
00:06:36,626 --> 00:06:38,334
Oh, he's at the house,
you know the house in Sussex?
161
00:06:38,459 --> 00:06:40,626
Yeah.
Well, he-- he took a book out.
162
00:06:40,751 --> 00:06:42,792
No, go on.
Um, he wanted to read.
163
00:06:43,167 --> 00:06:44,751
And he went out,
and he's got 38 acres.
164
00:06:44,876 --> 00:06:47,959
Yes. He finds a tree,
puts a blanket down.
165
00:06:48,084 --> 00:06:49,584
Oh, it's idyllic.
166
00:06:49,709 --> 00:06:52,001
And, uh, flies gathered
above his head.
167
00:06:52,126 --> 00:06:53,542
He went back in the house.
168
00:06:53,667 --> 00:06:56,292
- [laughs]
169
00:06:56,417 --> 00:06:59,417
- I mean, he's...
Oh, God.
170
00:06:59,542 --> 00:07:02,042
God. And some people say
he's just Alan Partridge.
171
00:07:02,167 --> 00:07:03,417
He's not.
172
00:07:03,542 --> 00:07:05,251
There's whole other sides
to him.
173
00:07:06,459 --> 00:07:07,751
- So, sir, your main courses.
174
00:07:07,876 --> 00:07:10,167
- Oh, lovely, very nice.
- Thank you.
175
00:07:10,292 --> 00:07:12,459
- Lamb chops.
- Chop, chop.
176
00:07:13,501 --> 00:07:15,126
- With mint sauce.
- Looks lovely.
177
00:07:18,751 --> 00:07:19,751
- Enjoy, monsieur.
- That's lovely.
178
00:07:19,876 --> 00:07:21,501
Thank you very much.
179
00:07:21,626 --> 00:07:23,209
- You like lamb, don't you?
- I do, I love lamb.
180
00:07:23,334 --> 00:07:26,167
Lamb's very good because, um,
it doesn't lend itself
181
00:07:26,251 --> 00:07:28,667
to intensive farming, so if you
can't make an organic choice
182
00:07:28,834 --> 00:07:30,042
lamb's a safe bet.
183
00:07:31,292 --> 00:07:33,417
[speaking in foreign language]
184
00:07:38,709 --> 00:07:40,501
My publisher wants me to use
185
00:07:40,626 --> 00:07:43,417
the "Odyssey" as a peg
on which to hang my Odyssey
186
00:07:43,542 --> 00:07:46,459
through life of the media.
187
00:07:46,584 --> 00:07:48,584
- Isn't that what you wrote
when we were in Spain?
188
00:07:48,709 --> 00:07:51,209
- A version of that, yeah,
but, um, it was successful
189
00:07:51,334 --> 00:07:53,834
so they want sort
of a variation on the theme.
190
00:07:54,251 --> 00:07:58,334
- I do think as you get older it's
inevitable, you repeat yourself.
191
00:07:58,584 --> 00:08:00,376
But this is the fourth time
we've been on one of these
192
00:08:00,501 --> 00:08:01,709
little jaunts.
193
00:08:01,834 --> 00:08:03,334
- Well, originality is overrated.
194
00:08:03,459 --> 00:08:05,584
'Cause everything's
a derivative of something.
195
00:08:05,709 --> 00:08:06,959
The greatest poem
in the Roman Empire
196
00:08:07,001 --> 00:08:08,876
was a rip-off
of the "Odyssey."
197
00:08:08,917 --> 00:08:09,917
- Which one?
198
00:08:10,084 --> 00:08:11,417
- "The Aeneid."
- Oh.
199
00:08:11,542 --> 00:08:13,542
- hereas the "Odyssey's"
about Odysseus fleeing
200
00:08:13,667 --> 00:08:16,209
Troy to-- to go home, um
201
00:08:16,334 --> 00:08:19,209
the "Aeneid" is about a Trojan
fleeing the city
202
00:08:19,334 --> 00:08:21,626
uh, with his father
and his son.
203
00:08:21,751 --> 00:08:23,376
- What about his wife?
204
00:08:23,917 --> 00:08:25,126
- He's lost her
along the way, you know.
205
00:08:25,251 --> 00:08:26,667
Shit, shit happens.
206
00:08:26,792 --> 00:08:28,834
Um, on the plus side,
he went on to found Rome
207
00:08:28,959 --> 00:08:31,584
so lose a wife,
found an empire.
208
00:08:31,709 --> 00:08:33,709
[utensils clattering]
209
00:08:36,542 --> 00:08:38,542
This was like a kind
of interrogation.
210
00:08:38,667 --> 00:08:39,751
Sitting like this.
211
00:08:39,834 --> 00:08:41,667
- [laughing]
212
00:08:43,001 --> 00:08:44,251
- Your desserts, sir.
- Thank you.
213
00:08:47,001 --> 00:08:48,042
[speaks in foreign language]
214
00:08:48,834 --> 00:08:49,709
It's black mulberry sauce.
215
00:08:49,959 --> 00:08:51,126
- Thank you very much,
could we have the bill please?
216
00:08:51,167 --> 00:08:52,584
- Okay, sir.
- Thank you very much.
217
00:08:53,001 --> 00:08:54,709
- If it was an interrogation,
this would be very
218
00:08:54,834 --> 00:08:56,251
this would be the nice part
before the nasty one.
219
00:08:56,376 --> 00:08:57,501
Let's have some dessert.
220
00:08:57,626 --> 00:08:59,126
- We'd, we'd, uh...
I wanna make this
221
00:08:59,251 --> 00:09:01,084
as pleasant as possible,
so, uh...
222
00:09:01,209 --> 00:09:03,334
- Oh, great, yeah,
what do you want to know?
223
00:09:03,459 --> 00:09:05,751
- Hmm.
- Lovely, isn't it?
224
00:09:05,876 --> 00:09:07,626
Lovely combination of textures.
This is not...
225
00:09:07,751 --> 00:09:10,084
[phone rings]
226
00:09:10,209 --> 00:09:11,584
This is not too light.
227
00:09:12,792 --> 00:09:14,792
But it's light.
- Hello?
228
00:09:14,917 --> 00:09:16,251
- Hey, Steve, you alright?
229
00:09:16,376 --> 00:09:18,126
Just calling to check
everything's okay?
230
00:09:18,376 --> 00:09:20,834
- Everything is wonderful,
I'm here with, uh, Rob Brydon.
231
00:09:20,959 --> 00:09:22,334
But apart from that
everything's wonderful.
232
00:09:22,459 --> 00:09:23,667
- Hi, hi, Rob,
how are you doing?
233
00:09:23,792 --> 00:09:25,459
- All is well.
He's not gone missing.
234
00:09:25,501 --> 00:09:26,876
I'm keeping an eye on him.
235
00:09:27,209 --> 00:09:28,209
- What do you mean?
What are you talking about?
236
00:09:28,292 --> 00:09:29,626
- In Morocco,
she was very worried
237
00:09:29,667 --> 00:09:31,126
when you went off the grid.
238
00:09:31,167 --> 00:09:32,126
Yeah?
239
00:09:32,292 --> 00:09:33,834
She was gonna call
the authorities
240
00:09:34,084 --> 00:09:37,334
all the newspapers,
"British comic goes missing."
241
00:09:37,459 --> 00:09:39,751
- Yeah, British actor,
British actor, writer
242
00:09:39,876 --> 00:09:41,209
producer goes missing.
243
00:09:41,334 --> 00:09:43,001
- British Actor goes missing,
friends say
244
00:09:43,126 --> 00:09:46,501
"We had no idea the mental
turmoil he was under."
245
00:09:46,834 --> 00:09:48,667
We spoke to his close friend
Rob Brydon.
246
00:09:48,792 --> 00:09:50,417
Well, I must say...
247
00:09:50,751 --> 00:09:52,501
- Spoke to his asso,
his associate.
248
00:09:52,751 --> 00:09:54,626
- We spoke to his dear confidante,
Rob Brydon.
249
00:09:54,751 --> 00:09:56,334
- Just his sometime
collaborator.
250
00:09:56,459 --> 00:09:59,084
- We spoke to popular entertainer,
Rob Brydon who said--
251
00:09:59,209 --> 00:10:01,084
- He's a, a light, light
entertainer, Rob Brydon.
252
00:10:01,209 --> 00:10:04,251
- We spoke to popular light
entertainer and confidante
253
00:10:04,376 --> 00:10:05,709
of troubled star, Rob Brydon.
254
00:10:05,834 --> 00:10:07,376
- Troubled TV funny man.
255
00:10:07,792 --> 00:10:10,459
Who said, I had no idea Steve
was suffering
256
00:10:10,501 --> 00:10:12,001
in the way he was.
257
00:10:12,126 --> 00:10:13,667
- We didn't know he was suffering,
but then we realized
258
00:10:13,834 --> 00:10:15,542
he'd spent, uh, six days
with Roby Brydon
259
00:10:15,667 --> 00:10:17,917
and things started
to fall into place then.
260
00:10:18,042 --> 00:10:20,709
- We think this might
be a cry for help.
261
00:10:21,084 --> 00:10:22,209
- Sorry, I've got to go.
262
00:10:22,334 --> 00:10:23,876
I just wanted to let you know
that your boat
263
00:10:24,001 --> 00:10:26,542
is gonna be leaving
Asos at 2:30.
264
00:10:26,667 --> 00:10:29,501
So, go to Asos, to the boat,
by 2:30, okay
265
00:10:29,626 --> 00:10:31,126
then your Range Rover's gonna
be waiting for when you arrive.
266
00:10:31,459 --> 00:10:33,292
- Get our asses
in the boat when?
267
00:10:33,417 --> 00:10:35,376
- Wonderful, looking forward
to it, sweetheart, ta-ta.
268
00:10:35,501 --> 00:10:37,001
- Bye, alright, see you.
269
00:10:37,376 --> 00:10:38,376
- Do you understand
any of that?
270
00:10:38,417 --> 00:10:39,667
- Yeah.
271
00:10:39,792 --> 00:10:41,667
Range Rover waiting
for us at Lesbos.
272
00:10:44,959 --> 00:10:47,126
[instrumental music]
273
00:10:47,167 --> 00:10:49,126
??
274
00:10:51,959 --> 00:10:56,417
- This is what UNESSO
says about Asos.
275
00:10:56,584 --> 00:10:59,959
In antiquity,
its hilltop location made
276
00:11:00,084 --> 00:11:03,167
Asos an easily defensible
port city.
277
00:11:03,292 --> 00:11:05,876
The oldest Doric temple
in Asia Minor
278
00:11:06,001 --> 00:11:09,417
the Temple of Athena at Asos,
is located
279
00:11:09,542 --> 00:11:11,084
on the top of the Acropolis.
280
00:11:15,209 --> 00:11:17,584
- That's Lesbos,
that's the, uh,
281
00:11:17,626 --> 00:11:19,542
border between Asia
and Europe.
282
00:11:21,709 --> 00:11:22,876
- It's close, isn't it?
283
00:11:23,001 --> 00:11:24,959
- Yeah, I could swim that.
284
00:11:25,084 --> 00:11:26,542
- You could not.
285
00:11:26,876 --> 00:11:29,792
- Somebody like Byron
swimming the Alice Pont
286
00:11:30,001 --> 00:11:33,167
from, you know, Asia to Europe
and Istanbul.
287
00:11:33,292 --> 00:11:35,251
That's why all the refugees come
this way 'cause it's so easy.
288
00:11:35,417 --> 00:11:37,376
- They don't swim it,
they do it in boats.
289
00:11:37,501 --> 00:11:39,126
- Yeah, very little boats.
290
00:11:39,251 --> 00:11:41,834
Byron said of all the things
he'd achieved
291
00:11:41,959 --> 00:11:44,542
swimming the Alice Pont was the
thing that made him most proud.
292
00:11:45,709 --> 00:11:47,292
- Oh, fair enough.
293
00:11:48,209 --> 00:11:50,959
What would you say was the
thing you were most proud of?
294
00:11:51,084 --> 00:11:53,917
- Uh, my seven BAFTAs.
295
00:11:54,042 --> 00:11:56,501
- Hmm, and for me,
it would be my children.
296
00:11:56,626 --> 00:11:59,209
- Yeah, well, 'cause, yeah, 'cause
you haven't got any BAFTAs.
297
00:11:59,334 --> 00:12:01,959
- Though you have got children,
which is interesting.
298
00:12:08,459 --> 00:12:09,917
Now, William, uh, some
of the men are not happy
299
00:12:10,001 --> 00:12:11,209
there are rumblings.
300
00:12:11,334 --> 00:12:13,001
- Oh, there are rumblings,
are there?
301
00:12:13,126 --> 00:12:14,626
Well, you tell the men
that we will sail around
302
00:12:14,751 --> 00:12:17,376
the Cape of Good Hope
and we'll sail around the horn.
303
00:12:17,542 --> 00:12:19,459
- I think if the weather
was this nice
304
00:12:19,584 --> 00:12:21,209
they would have been
a lot more relaxed.
305
00:12:21,334 --> 00:12:23,667
They're loving it, Bill.
They really are.
306
00:12:23,792 --> 00:12:25,417
- Well, thank you very much,
uh, Fletcher.
307
00:12:25,459 --> 00:12:27,376
You don't mind if I call you
Fletcher do you?
308
00:12:27,417 --> 00:12:28,834
- Sall me Fletcher
if you like, mate.
309
00:12:28,876 --> 00:12:30,042
- Thank you very much,
I'll call you Fletch.
310
00:12:30,251 --> 00:12:31,251
- San I call you Bill?
311
00:12:31,292 --> 00:12:33,084
- Yeah, of course, you can,
I'd rather call you Mr. Shristian.
312
00:12:33,209 --> 00:12:34,417
- Not Fletch?
313
00:12:34,542 --> 00:12:36,709
[instrumental violin music]
314
00:12:36,751 --> 00:12:38,709
??
315
00:12:42,834 --> 00:12:45,209
[ship horn blares]
316
00:12:54,084 --> 00:12:55,584
- Ah-ha!
317
00:12:56,084 --> 00:12:57,376
- [chuckles]
318
00:12:57,417 --> 00:12:59,001
Said, "Ah-hah."
319
00:12:59,126 --> 00:13:00,126
- Is that?
320
00:13:01,501 --> 00:13:03,042
- Ah-ha!
321
00:13:05,501 --> 00:13:06,709
- Ah-hah!
322
00:13:11,709 --> 00:13:13,542
- You've got a huge drive then?
323
00:13:13,667 --> 00:13:14,917
- Yeah, it was a monster really.
324
00:13:15,042 --> 00:13:16,417
- So are you flying back now?
325
00:13:16,542 --> 00:13:18,876
- Yeah.
Uh, here the keys.
326
00:13:19,626 --> 00:13:21,334
- Thank you.
- Yeah, enjoy.
327
00:13:21,459 --> 00:13:24,001
- Full tank?
- Tank's full and it's a hybrid.
328
00:13:24,126 --> 00:13:25,501
- Steve?
329
00:13:27,042 --> 00:13:28,709
- Alright. Good.
- Safe flight.
330
00:13:28,834 --> 00:13:30,209
Sheers. Bye-bye.
331
00:13:30,626 --> 00:13:32,876
- Steve, how are you?
This is Kareem.
332
00:13:33,667 --> 00:13:36,126
Do you remember me?
We worked together in Mykonos.
333
00:13:37,376 --> 00:13:39,501
I played, uh,
refugees in the beach.
334
00:13:39,792 --> 00:13:40,959
- Okay.
335
00:13:42,167 --> 00:13:43,959
- Do you remember me?
- Refugee?
336
00:13:44,084 --> 00:13:45,001
- Yes.
- How are you?
337
00:13:45,126 --> 00:13:46,084
- I am Kareem,
how are you?
338
00:13:46,209 --> 00:13:47,709
- Hi, very good.
- I'm good.
339
00:13:47,834 --> 00:13:49,626
- Good to see you,
yeah, really good.
340
00:13:49,751 --> 00:13:51,126
- Hiya. Rob.
- That's Rob, yeah, yeah.
341
00:13:51,251 --> 00:13:52,542
- Nice to meet you.
I'm Kareem.
- Hello.
342
00:13:52,667 --> 00:13:54,334
- How are you doing?
What are you doing here?
343
00:13:54,459 --> 00:13:56,917
- Uh, well, it's not a holiday,
we're-- we're actually working
344
00:13:57,042 --> 00:13:58,959
with-- with we're retracing
the-- the steps
345
00:13:59,084 --> 00:14:00,459
of, um, Odysseus,
you know
346
00:14:00,584 --> 00:14:01,876
going from Troy to Ithaca.
347
00:14:02,001 --> 00:14:04,084
What about you?
Are you still with the refugees?
348
00:14:04,209 --> 00:14:06,042
- I'm working
with the refugees still.
349
00:14:06,167 --> 00:14:07,459
- Right.
- Are there refugees still here?
350
00:14:07,584 --> 00:14:09,126
- Yes, yes, yes.
Thousands of refugees.
351
00:14:09,251 --> 00:14:10,251
- Thousands?
- Yes.
352
00:14:10,376 --> 00:14:12,709
You know,
maybe I need a lift
353
00:14:12,792 --> 00:14:16,001
maybe it could be so good
for you, come and see?
354
00:14:16,126 --> 00:14:17,501
It is very good
for you all to see.
355
00:14:17,626 --> 00:14:18,542
- See?
- Some see it now?
356
00:14:18,667 --> 00:14:20,084
- Yes.
- I would love to.
357
00:14:20,251 --> 00:14:21,376
But we've gotta...
Where have we gotta go next?
358
00:14:21,501 --> 00:14:23,126
We've got a--
- Do you know what?
359
00:14:23,251 --> 00:14:25,751
We're-- we're not so busy that
we can't spare enough time
360
00:14:25,876 --> 00:14:27,709
to drop him off.
361
00:14:27,834 --> 00:14:30,042
That's what odysseys are all about,
we'll hop in the car.
362
00:14:30,167 --> 00:14:33,459
It'd be good for, uh, Rob to see
a refugee camp, it's true.
363
00:14:33,584 --> 00:14:36,001
- Yeah, it'd be, be good for me
to see a refugee camp.
364
00:14:36,126 --> 00:14:37,126
- Thank you, thank you, guys,
for the lift.
365
00:14:37,251 --> 00:14:38,417
- Yes.
- No worries.
366
00:14:40,459 --> 00:14:42,251
- It's a really nice car, Steve.
367
00:14:42,376 --> 00:14:44,917
- Thanks, not mine, it's, um...
368
00:14:45,042 --> 00:14:47,376
It was loaned to me for this...
369
00:14:47,501 --> 00:14:49,501
- Us.
- Thing we're doing. To us.
370
00:14:49,626 --> 00:14:51,584
I mean, it's a hybrid,
so it's half-electric.
371
00:14:51,667 --> 00:14:54,167
So it kind of cushions
the impact that
372
00:14:54,292 --> 00:14:55,959
a monster gas guzzler
like this normally--
373
00:14:56,084 --> 00:14:57,584
- It's important to you, isn't it?
That's important.
374
00:14:57,709 --> 00:14:59,959
- Well, it is, yeah.
- All the environmental thing.
375
00:15:00,126 --> 00:15:02,001
- But, uh--
- Steve's got nine cars, Kareem.
376
00:15:02,126 --> 00:15:04,542
- Nine car? So good, man.
- Yeah, nine cars.
377
00:15:04,667 --> 00:15:06,459
- That's, that's,
that's irrelevant.
378
00:15:06,584 --> 00:15:08,251
- How many of them
are electric?
379
00:15:08,376 --> 00:15:09,709
- I have an electric car.
- Yeah.
380
00:15:09,834 --> 00:15:11,001
- We're writing an article, uh...
381
00:15:11,126 --> 00:15:12,584
I'm writing an article for--
382
00:15:12,709 --> 00:15:14,917
- I'm writing an article.
- Well, Rob is. And...
383
00:15:15,042 --> 00:15:17,542
Steve doesn't have time
to actually write it.
384
00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:20,126
- I do.
- Got lot of weighty thoughts.
385
00:15:20,251 --> 00:15:22,167
Gotta service his cars, I mean,
that takes a lot of his time.
386
00:15:22,292 --> 00:15:25,167
- I do. Anyhow, so, so what's,
what's been going on?
387
00:15:25,292 --> 00:15:28,292
What, uh, wh-- what are you up
to-- up to at the moment?
388
00:15:28,417 --> 00:15:31,334
- I'm here now set up,
uh, a cultural event
389
00:15:31,417 --> 00:15:32,876
it's a musical and dance.
390
00:15:33,001 --> 00:15:34,126
- Really?
391
00:15:34,334 --> 00:15:36,792
- We do some music courses,
music therapy.
392
00:15:37,042 --> 00:15:38,334
I dance some,
they do some teaching.
393
00:15:38,459 --> 00:15:39,792
- Great.
- Fantastic.
394
00:15:39,917 --> 00:15:42,126
- Some community building,
inclusion.
395
00:15:42,292 --> 00:15:43,167
- Great.
396
00:15:43,209 --> 00:15:45,417
- Here we are.
This is a small city.
397
00:15:45,917 --> 00:15:48,959
- Wow. Gosh.
398
00:15:49,084 --> 00:15:50,959
So, what's this barbed wire for?
That's...
399
00:15:51,084 --> 00:15:52,834
- It looks like a prison camp.
400
00:15:52,959 --> 00:15:55,501
Is that to stop people getting in
or stop them getting out?
401
00:15:55,626 --> 00:15:58,209
- Obviously, of this camp
is really prison.
402
00:15:58,917 --> 00:16:02,251
- It's more established
than I would have expected.
403
00:16:06,626 --> 00:16:08,084
Really nice to meet you.
404
00:16:08,209 --> 00:16:10,167
Good luck with everything,
hope it all works out.
405
00:16:12,126 --> 00:16:13,292
Goodbye.
406
00:16:13,959 --> 00:16:15,959
- Oh, Steve,
thank you very much.
407
00:16:16,084 --> 00:16:17,751
- Okay, thank you.
408
00:16:17,876 --> 00:16:19,876
- I'm coming to Britain, right?
I hope, we'll see you there.
409
00:16:20,001 --> 00:16:21,459
- Well, you've got my email so...
- Yes.
410
00:16:21,584 --> 00:16:23,251
I will contact you,
thank you.
411
00:16:23,417 --> 00:16:25,584
Do the turning here,
I will go inside.
412
00:16:32,209 --> 00:16:33,751
[exhales]
413
00:16:42,584 --> 00:16:44,042
- Well, that was sobering.
414
00:16:44,167 --> 00:16:47,626
- Imagine living in that for years
and years and years.
415
00:16:47,751 --> 00:16:49,376
- Hmm. Well,
it's just like the Greeks.
416
00:16:49,501 --> 00:16:51,126
Uh, camped outside Troy
417
00:16:51,251 --> 00:16:52,917
for the best part of ten years.
418
00:16:53,001 --> 00:16:55,251
- Too long, I've said it before,
I'll say it again
419
00:16:55,376 --> 00:16:57,167
that's too long for camping.
420
00:16:58,584 --> 00:16:59,751
Nice guy.
421
00:17:00,167 --> 00:17:03,376
- Uh, yes, he's, yeah, well, um,
yeah, he's a very nice bloke.
422
00:17:03,792 --> 00:17:07,084
I mean, I, I know him, we worked
together last year on a film.
423
00:17:07,501 --> 00:17:08,584
- He said.
424
00:17:08,709 --> 00:17:09,792
- He play...
He played a sort
425
00:17:09,917 --> 00:17:11,626
of version of himself.
426
00:17:11,751 --> 00:17:13,584
- You didn't remember him,
did you?
427
00:17:13,709 --> 00:17:15,584
- What?
Of course, I remembered him.
428
00:17:16,667 --> 00:17:19,834
I bloody worked with him
for a month at least.
429
00:17:19,959 --> 00:17:21,709
So I...
Of course I remembered him.
430
00:17:21,834 --> 00:17:24,292
Like maybe not at first,
but eventually, yeah, like, yeah.
431
00:17:24,417 --> 00:17:26,126
"Hey, how you doing?"
You know, and, uh...
432
00:17:27,709 --> 00:17:29,084
- What's his name?
433
00:17:31,751 --> 00:17:32,959
What's his name?
434
00:17:33,042 --> 00:17:34,584
- Well, I'm not gonna be tested
by you just asking me
435
00:17:34,709 --> 00:17:36,126
what his name,
what's his name?
436
00:17:36,251 --> 00:17:37,876
- I'm not testing you,
I'm just interested to see
437
00:17:38,001 --> 00:17:39,042
what's his name?
438
00:17:43,667 --> 00:17:44,584
- Khaled.
439
00:17:44,751 --> 00:17:46,501
- [scoffs]
440
00:17:46,626 --> 00:17:48,167
It's Kareem.
441
00:17:48,292 --> 00:17:49,876
- Okay, so I got the first
syllable right.
442
00:17:50,001 --> 00:17:51,417
- Oh, well done.
443
00:17:54,876 --> 00:17:57,001
- You know where the word lesbian
comes from?
444
00:17:57,126 --> 00:17:58,417
- Yes, Mr. Bond.
445
00:17:58,542 --> 00:18:00,292
It's from the island,
it's from Lesbos.
446
00:18:00,417 --> 00:18:03,417
- Sappho was the priestess
who wrote erotic poetry
447
00:18:03,542 --> 00:18:07,542
to all these women she loved
and, uh, and was obsessed with.
448
00:18:07,667 --> 00:18:13,042
And she was the most celebrated
poet, not lesbian
449
00:18:13,167 --> 00:18:15,751
but the most celebrated poets
in Ancient Greece.
450
00:18:15,834 --> 00:18:18,584
And she was a woman
and she was a lesbian.
451
00:18:19,126 --> 00:18:20,917
- It's a shame
we're getting the ferry.
452
00:18:21,042 --> 00:18:23,667
I would like to stay
in the Hotel Lesbian
453
00:18:24,209 --> 00:18:25,501
as I'm sure you would.
454
00:18:25,667 --> 00:18:28,042
- I think...
Come, come, Mr. Bond
455
00:18:28,167 --> 00:18:29,792
you like staying in
the Hotel Lesbian
456
00:18:29,834 --> 00:18:31,542
just as much as I do.
457
00:18:31,584 --> 00:18:34,001
- If I can get my head down
in the Lesbian,
458
00:18:34,042 --> 00:18:36,501
I'm more than happy.
459
00:18:37,459 --> 00:18:38,876
Welcome to the Hotel Lesbian.
460
00:18:39,001 --> 00:18:41,251
You can check out
any time you like.
461
00:18:41,376 --> 00:18:43,751
But you can never leave.
- But you can never leave.
462
00:18:49,417 --> 00:18:52,042
[foghorn blaring]
463
00:19:00,376 --> 00:19:06,334
[Rob singing]
- ? Sailing I am sailing ?
464
00:19:06,917 --> 00:19:10,459
? Home again ?
465
00:19:10,584 --> 00:19:13,917
? Across the sea ?
466
00:19:14,459 --> 00:19:17,501
? I am sailing ?
467
00:19:18,042 --> 00:19:21,709
? Stormy waters ?
468
00:19:21,834 --> 00:19:25,334
? To be near you ?
469
00:19:25,709 --> 00:19:28,834
? To be free ?
470
00:19:30,292 --> 00:19:31,792
When I was in Australia,
there was
471
00:19:31,917 --> 00:19:34,251
a 25-year-old girl
on the crew
472
00:19:34,334 --> 00:19:36,626
who had never heard
of Rod Stewart.
473
00:19:36,751 --> 00:19:39,542
Never heard those two words
in that order.
474
00:19:40,084 --> 00:19:41,834
- So, when I used to go out with
a girl, they used to say, uh
475
00:19:41,959 --> 00:19:44,001
"Remember this and
remember that," and I'd just go
476
00:19:44,126 --> 00:19:46,376
"When I was young,
we used to do this."
477
00:19:54,001 --> 00:19:57,417
- Stagira is the birth place
of Aristotle.
478
00:19:57,542 --> 00:19:59,001
Stagira was besieged
479
00:19:59,126 --> 00:20:01,959
and destroyed in 348 B.C.
by Philip of Macedon.
480
00:20:02,084 --> 00:20:05,959
The inhabitants were enslaved,
later Philip rebuilt the city
481
00:20:06,084 --> 00:20:09,376
as a reward for Aristotle being
tutored to his son, Alexander.
482
00:20:12,334 --> 00:20:14,001
How much further is it?
483
00:20:14,126 --> 00:20:17,084
- Uh, it's just around, it's just
to the the top of this road.
484
00:20:19,167 --> 00:20:21,209
- I've got a stone
in my sandal again.
485
00:20:22,876 --> 00:20:24,209
- [heavy breathing]
486
00:20:24,334 --> 00:20:25,501
Come on.
487
00:20:26,209 --> 00:20:27,501
- What do you mean,
"Come on"?
488
00:20:29,292 --> 00:20:33,251
- Well, this is it,
this is the shine to Aristotle.
489
00:20:33,667 --> 00:20:36,959
Well, they imported
his ashes, uh, back here
490
00:20:37,084 --> 00:20:38,751
specially to,
to leave them here
491
00:20:38,876 --> 00:20:42,126
as, it's his hometown,
you know.
492
00:20:42,251 --> 00:20:43,876
- It's not a lot to look at,
is it?
493
00:20:44,417 --> 00:20:46,084
You can see why
they don't charge.
494
00:20:46,209 --> 00:20:47,292
There'd be uproar.
495
00:20:47,417 --> 00:20:48,917
That Legoland costs a fortune
496
00:20:49,042 --> 00:20:50,292
but you get a lot
for your money.
497
00:20:50,417 --> 00:20:51,334
- [sighs]
498
00:20:52,792 --> 00:20:54,667
- Do you think there'll be
a memorial to you?
499
00:20:54,792 --> 00:20:56,292
- I don't believe in monuments.
500
00:20:56,376 --> 00:20:58,334
- Just something modest
in Manchester?
501
00:20:58,459 --> 00:20:59,792
- Uh, yeah, a plaque.
502
00:21:01,042 --> 00:21:03,251
[speaking in foreign language]
503
00:21:08,584 --> 00:21:10,542
- I didn't picture
Macedonia like this.
504
00:21:10,709 --> 00:21:12,626
It's, I-- I imagined it
to be quite rugged
505
00:21:12,751 --> 00:21:17,626
I didn't think it would be
verdant and soft.
506
00:21:18,167 --> 00:21:19,376
- Well...
507
00:21:21,001 --> 00:21:22,209
- Excuse me.
- Your starters, sir.
508
00:21:22,334 --> 00:21:23,501
- Thank you.
509
00:21:24,251 --> 00:21:25,584
- As a starter,
we have the mussels
510
00:21:25,834 --> 00:21:27,959
on smoked pine needles
with parmesan cheese
511
00:21:28,084 --> 00:21:28,667
spring asparagus,
512
00:21:28,709 --> 00:21:30,876
a little bit of citrus
and espresso powder.
513
00:21:30,917 --> 00:21:32,251
- Enjoy.
- Thank you, Mr. Tim.
514
00:21:32,376 --> 00:21:33,876
- Thank you.
- My pleasure.
515
00:21:34,001 --> 00:21:36,792
- Espresso powder dust,
that's, uh, an ingredient
516
00:21:36,876 --> 00:21:39,209
I wasn't expecting,
but, uh, it's also, uh
517
00:21:39,334 --> 00:21:40,917
piqued my curiosity.
518
00:21:41,042 --> 00:21:42,542
So have a little...
519
00:21:43,667 --> 00:21:45,584
Hmm!
520
00:21:45,709 --> 00:21:48,501
Well, that's, uh...
- Hmm, that's complex.
521
00:21:48,626 --> 00:21:50,542
- That is absolutely divine.
522
00:21:52,792 --> 00:21:54,292
[utensils clattering]
523
00:21:57,209 --> 00:21:58,626
People who talk about
Alexander the Great
524
00:21:58,751 --> 00:22:02,501
will overlook all the psychotic
tendencies he had.
525
00:22:02,626 --> 00:22:04,709
With his mother,
he conspired to kill
526
00:22:04,834 --> 00:22:07,209
his father,
and then after that
527
00:22:07,334 --> 00:22:10,542
went on a killing spree rounding
up all his half-siblings
528
00:22:10,667 --> 00:22:13,042
and, uh, cousins who might have
a legitimate claim
529
00:22:13,167 --> 00:22:15,209
to the throne,
and just ruthlessly
530
00:22:15,334 --> 00:22:16,709
and horribly murdered them.
531
00:22:16,792 --> 00:22:19,126
- He was a gangster,
an old-fashioned gangster.
532
00:22:19,251 --> 00:22:20,876
- Why do we call him
Alexander the Great?
533
00:22:21,209 --> 00:22:24,542
- They call me great,
but I'm actually just a gangster.
534
00:22:24,667 --> 00:22:26,667
I'm gonna commit
atrocious crimes.
535
00:22:26,792 --> 00:22:28,417
I'm doing Marlon Brando.
536
00:22:28,542 --> 00:22:29,709
- Good.
I'm glad you flagged that up?
537
00:22:29,834 --> 00:22:31,626
- Commit atrocious crimes.
538
00:22:31,792 --> 00:22:33,709
I'm gonna behave despicably.
539
00:22:33,834 --> 00:22:36,209
- You know you need to make it
more, give it more weight
540
00:22:36,334 --> 00:22:37,626
when you speak like that,
you know.
541
00:22:37,751 --> 00:22:39,126
- Well, why are you doing it
differently?
542
00:22:39,251 --> 00:22:40,667
- You're going to look like that
but for...
543
00:22:40,709 --> 00:22:42,084
[mumbles]
544
00:22:42,209 --> 00:22:44,001
- What are you doing here?
Lemme hear it.
545
00:22:44,626 --> 00:22:46,251
- It's, uh, he speaks like
546
00:22:46,376 --> 00:22:48,667
he has his cheeks
are full of cotton wool.
547
00:22:48,792 --> 00:22:50,501
- Well, they were full
of cotton wool.
548
00:22:50,626 --> 00:22:53,334
- I know, but they weren't full
with those things that dentists
549
00:22:53,459 --> 00:22:54,626
use to shove in the side
of your mouth.
550
00:22:54,751 --> 00:22:56,751
- Dental swab,
a dental swab.
551
00:22:56,834 --> 00:22:58,917
- A swab. They don't use them
anymore for some reason.
552
00:22:59,042 --> 00:23:00,042
- They don't need them.
- I don't know why.
553
00:23:00,084 --> 00:23:02,042
- Because dentistry
has advanced.
554
00:23:02,084 --> 00:23:03,709
- Dentistry has advanced.
555
00:23:03,834 --> 00:23:05,792
- They've made a lot of great
strides in dentistry.
556
00:23:05,917 --> 00:23:07,667
- I know it has, you know,
dentistry's advanced
557
00:23:07,792 --> 00:23:09,459
quite a lot, actually,
that's, you know what.
558
00:23:09,584 --> 00:23:12,959
That I'd like to hire you,
Aristotle, to, uh, to educate
559
00:23:13,126 --> 00:23:15,709
my son, I'd like you to teach
him a lot about philosophy.
560
00:23:15,834 --> 00:23:18,542
- Well, I-- I.. I'm, I'm very
flattered by the offer
561
00:23:18,667 --> 00:23:21,251
but I must say I'm finding it
very hard to forget
562
00:23:21,376 --> 00:23:23,584
what you did to Stagira,
which was a smashing spot.
563
00:23:23,709 --> 00:23:25,334
- Oh, you know what, I tell you
what, tell what I'm gonna do.
564
00:23:25,459 --> 00:23:27,751
If you don't teach my son,
I'll rip your head off and shit down
565
00:23:27,876 --> 00:23:29,667
your goddamn fucking neck,
you too big, dick sucking
566
00:23:29,792 --> 00:23:32,084
mother fucking asshole, okay?
567
00:23:32,209 --> 00:23:34,084
- But it's essentially
being a gangster.
568
00:23:34,501 --> 00:23:36,959
Maybe in the East End of London
could be right, Winston?
569
00:23:37,084 --> 00:23:40,001
If you're gonna be teaching
my boy, Aristotle
570
00:23:40,084 --> 00:23:42,417
right?
I don't want some airy
571
00:23:42,542 --> 00:23:44,959
fairy nuns coming here...
What... Thank you.
572
00:23:45,084 --> 00:23:46,667
- Lovely. Very nice.
- That's wonderful.
573
00:23:46,792 --> 00:23:48,292
Ab...
Compliments to the chef.
574
00:23:48,417 --> 00:23:50,042
Yeah, very nice.
- I will, certain.
575
00:23:50,167 --> 00:23:51,959
- Ahem. Mr. Tim.
576
00:23:52,834 --> 00:23:54,376
- Thank you.
- Is that your Christian name?
577
00:23:54,709 --> 00:23:55,876
- Yes, it is.
- Yes, good, good.
578
00:23:56,001 --> 00:23:57,417
Mr. Steve, Mr. Rob.
579
00:23:57,542 --> 00:23:58,959
- Nice to meet you.
- Hello.
580
00:23:59,084 --> 00:24:00,501
- He-- he won't know
who Basil Brush is.
581
00:24:00,626 --> 00:24:02,167
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
582
00:24:02,292 --> 00:24:05,084
- Now you listen to me,
I wanna make sure it's not
583
00:24:05,209 --> 00:24:07,042
just airy fairy thinking.
584
00:24:07,167 --> 00:24:08,584
It's not a great Ray Winstone.
585
00:24:08,709 --> 00:24:10,834
- I lost a part to him you know.
- What's the...
586
00:24:10,959 --> 00:24:12,251
- Seriously, we were--
- Why was he...
587
00:24:12,376 --> 00:24:14,126
- We got... I went..
That's what I thought.
588
00:24:14,251 --> 00:24:16,167
[speaking in foreign language]
589
00:24:19,251 --> 00:24:21,626
- I saw you do Henry VIII once,
which I thought was,
590
00:24:21,667 --> 00:24:24,167
I mean, he's a great actor,
but I thought that was odd.
591
00:24:24,376 --> 00:24:25,709
- I gave him the cockney accent,
didn't he?
592
00:24:25,834 --> 00:24:27,542
- Yeah, he was Henry VIII with,
with a cockney accent.
593
00:24:27,667 --> 00:24:30,084
I was like,
I really fancied Anne Boleyn.
594
00:24:30,209 --> 00:24:32,042
I got this old trout
on me back.
595
00:24:32,167 --> 00:24:34,084
Catherine of Aragon.
Don't know what to do about it.
596
00:24:34,209 --> 00:24:35,167
- Sire--
- I'm thinking of getting her.
597
00:24:35,334 --> 00:24:36,792
I wanna bag her,
I wanna bed her.
598
00:24:36,917 --> 00:24:38,709
- Sire, might I interrupt?
- I wanna do her.
599
00:24:38,834 --> 00:24:40,709
- Uh, your, your new palace,
Hampton Court
600
00:24:40,834 --> 00:24:42,834
is-- is ready, sir,
we've had the Jacuzzi put in
601
00:24:42,959 --> 00:24:44,542
would you like to inspect it?
602
00:24:44,667 --> 00:24:46,709
- Fucking Pope's saying
I can't get a fucking divorce.
603
00:24:46,834 --> 00:24:48,709
I'm saying what about if I say,
well, I'm in charge?
604
00:24:48,834 --> 00:24:50,209
I'm the head of the church,
how about that?
605
00:24:50,334 --> 00:24:51,667
What do you think
about that then?
606
00:24:51,792 --> 00:24:53,209
How about I went round
all your monasteries
607
00:24:53,334 --> 00:24:55,209
and fucking knocked
the shit out of them?
608
00:24:55,334 --> 00:24:57,001
I mean,
every single fucking one
609
00:24:57,126 --> 00:25:00,376
so I fucking level them,
how about that, Mr. Fucking Pope?
610
00:25:00,459 --> 00:25:03,042
- Your-- Your Royal Highness,
um, I, Ann-- Anne Boleyn
611
00:25:03,167 --> 00:25:05,126
is-- is waiting for you
in the ante chamber
612
00:25:05,251 --> 00:25:06,709
Your Royal Highness,
shall I bring her through?
613
00:25:06,834 --> 00:25:09,417
- Yeah, that, yeah,
I got a-- a real boner, yeah.
614
00:25:09,792 --> 00:25:11,251
- Yeah, I'm pleased to hear it,
Your Royal Highness
615
00:25:11,376 --> 00:25:13,501
and might I say your one's
royal boner is looking
616
00:25:13,626 --> 00:25:14,751
particularly majestic
this morning.
617
00:25:14,876 --> 00:25:16,376
- Yeah, cheers.
I really like her.
618
00:25:16,542 --> 00:25:18,834
Take her to me, uh, chamber,
or whatever you call it.
619
00:25:18,959 --> 00:25:20,626
- Is sire speaking
euphemistically?
620
00:25:20,751 --> 00:25:23,292
- What? Why are you talking
like a nonce?
621
00:25:23,417 --> 00:25:25,542
- Because I'm terrified of you, sir.
I'm not a nonce.
622
00:25:25,667 --> 00:25:28,084
I'm not a nonce, sir.
I'm not a nonce.
623
00:25:28,209 --> 00:25:29,376
This is a rumor
that has been put around
624
00:25:29,501 --> 00:25:30,834
the court by Cromwell.
625
00:25:30,959 --> 00:25:32,501
- Alright, alright,
alright, whatever.
626
00:25:32,626 --> 00:25:34,084
I really like Anne Boleyn.
627
00:25:34,251 --> 00:25:35,834
- She's nice.
She likes you, sir.
628
00:25:35,959 --> 00:25:38,626
- If she messes me around,
I'll chop her fucking head off.
629
00:25:38,709 --> 00:25:41,042
Literally chop
her fucking head off.
630
00:25:41,167 --> 00:25:43,251
If she dicks me about,
I'll get a swordsman
631
00:25:43,376 --> 00:25:44,876
over from France and--
- Oh, sire.
632
00:25:45,001 --> 00:25:46,667
- She can kneel
and I can do it across her.
633
00:25:46,792 --> 00:25:50,542
- That speaks so clearly of,
of sire's class, sir,
634
00:25:50,667 --> 00:25:53,376
to chop off milady's head
with a swordsman.
635
00:25:55,126 --> 00:25:57,042
[speaking in foreign language]
636
00:25:59,834 --> 00:26:01,001
- Hello.
637
00:26:02,001 --> 00:26:04,001
I don't like seeing my chin
in this dome.
638
00:26:05,376 --> 00:26:06,834
- Thank you.
- Your dessert.
639
00:26:06,959 --> 00:26:08,584
Gentlemen.
- Oh.
640
00:26:08,709 --> 00:26:10,917
- We have the almond crumble
with use of cream
641
00:26:11,042 --> 00:26:13,792
fresh citrus and blood orange
on top of that, enjoy.
642
00:26:13,917 --> 00:26:14,709
- Thank you, thank you.
- Thank you very much.
643
00:26:14,751 --> 00:26:15,667
- My pleasure.
644
00:26:18,876 --> 00:26:20,959
- Who would you be
if you could be a Greek God?
645
00:26:21,042 --> 00:26:22,501
Which God would you be?
646
00:26:22,917 --> 00:26:24,459
- I have been cast
as a Greek God.
- When?
647
00:26:24,876 --> 00:26:26,667
I played Hades in Percy Jackson,
"The Lightning Thief."
648
00:26:26,959 --> 00:26:28,376
- Yes, in Percy Jackson,
"The Lightning Thief."
649
00:26:28,501 --> 00:26:31,334
Yes.
They made more of those films.
650
00:26:31,459 --> 00:26:33,751
- Hmm, hmm.
- What happened to Hades?
651
00:26:33,876 --> 00:26:34,834
- They just didn't
invite me back.
652
00:26:34,959 --> 00:26:36,667
[cellphone rings]
653
00:26:38,751 --> 00:26:39,917
Hello, Joe?
654
00:26:40,042 --> 00:26:41,751
Joe?
655
00:26:41,876 --> 00:26:43,876
- Hey, dad, how are you?
- Good, good.
656
00:26:44,001 --> 00:26:45,959
What's going on?
- Yeah, um...
657
00:26:46,084 --> 00:26:47,167
Granddad's in hospital again.
658
00:26:47,292 --> 00:26:49,084
- What?
659
00:26:49,209 --> 00:26:51,667
- Yeah, um, so, yeah, I've been
to see him, and he's okay.
660
00:26:51,792 --> 00:26:54,626
- But what, what, okay, so what is it,
the same thing as before?
661
00:26:54,959 --> 00:26:57,376
- Yeah, yeah, yeah,
same thing as before, it's, uh
662
00:26:57,501 --> 00:27:00,251
it's all routine,
they're doing some tests.
663
00:27:00,334 --> 00:27:01,834
- Your check, sir.
- Oh, thank you very much.
664
00:27:01,959 --> 00:27:03,292
- Did you like the dessert?
- Yeah, it was lovely.
665
00:27:03,417 --> 00:27:05,126
I-- I can't eat citrus,
so I had to leave it.
666
00:27:05,251 --> 00:27:06,417
Thank you.
- Oh, that's okay.
667
00:27:07,334 --> 00:27:09,084
- I'm glad you're there, yeah.
668
00:27:09,209 --> 00:27:10,917
- I'm at mum's actually, um...
- Okay.
669
00:27:11,251 --> 00:27:14,584
Philip's moved out,
he's, he's left her, so, um...
670
00:27:15,126 --> 00:27:16,959
- Philip?
671
00:27:17,084 --> 00:27:19,042
- Yeah, Philip,
her-- her partner.
672
00:27:19,209 --> 00:27:20,584
Well, her boyfriend.
- Oh, yeah.
673
00:27:20,709 --> 00:27:22,042
He's been living with her
for two years.
674
00:27:22,167 --> 00:27:23,917
- Yeah, yeah,
I-- I think I met him, yeah.
675
00:27:24,042 --> 00:27:26,667
- A very good evening to you
and welcome to this very special
676
00:27:26,792 --> 00:27:29,959
Greek edition of Guess the Bill
coming to you from the beautiful
677
00:27:30,084 --> 00:27:33,001
Greek island of Beach here
in the northernmost part
678
00:27:33,126 --> 00:27:36,001
of Southern Greece, and, uh,
joining us to play tonight
679
00:27:36,126 --> 00:27:38,667
is our returning champion from
Peventry in the North of England
680
00:27:38,792 --> 00:27:40,459
it's Stephen Coogan, Steve.
681
00:27:40,542 --> 00:27:42,542
Good evening.
Ur, hello.
682
00:27:42,667 --> 00:27:45,292
- Um, uh, uh, if you need me to
come back, uh, just let me know
683
00:27:45,417 --> 00:27:47,209
I'll jump on a plane, alright?
684
00:27:47,667 --> 00:27:48,834
Okay, I love you.
685
00:27:48,959 --> 00:27:51,042
- Love you too, dad.
Bye-bye.
686
00:27:51,167 --> 00:27:52,792
- And the wonderful thing
about it, Steve
687
00:27:52,917 --> 00:27:55,501
is you never pick another person
up on what they're doing.
688
00:27:55,626 --> 00:27:58,126
No, it would literally
never occur.
689
00:27:58,251 --> 00:28:01,209
Oh, here he is,
the man himself, Stephen.
690
00:28:01,376 --> 00:28:03,126
On this beautiful
beachside setting
691
00:28:03,251 --> 00:28:05,501
would you like to play
"Guess the Bill?"
692
00:28:05,626 --> 00:28:07,042
- [sighs]
693
00:28:07,167 --> 00:28:08,334
Not really, no.
694
00:28:08,751 --> 00:28:11,001
- Alright, it's 307 euro.
695
00:28:12,626 --> 00:28:15,126
[instrumental piano music]
696
00:28:15,501 --> 00:28:16,917
??
697
00:28:27,501 --> 00:28:28,709
Hey, Shloe, it's daddy.
698
00:28:28,959 --> 00:28:30,876
- Hi.
- Hi.
699
00:28:31,001 --> 00:28:32,376
How are you?
700
00:28:32,834 --> 00:28:34,459
- Good.
- Good, what you up to?
701
00:28:34,834 --> 00:28:37,459
- Just watching
some stuff on my iPad.
702
00:28:37,584 --> 00:28:39,376
- And where's Charlie?
703
00:28:39,917 --> 00:28:43,084
- Charlie isn't here,
he's sleeping right now.
704
00:28:43,334 --> 00:28:45,251
- Alright, then let me speak
straight to mummy then, darling
705
00:28:45,376 --> 00:28:47,417
and I'll, and I'll talk to you
again tomorrow.
706
00:28:47,542 --> 00:28:50,209
- She's not here.
- She's not there as well?
707
00:28:50,584 --> 00:28:51,751
Where-- where is she?
708
00:28:51,876 --> 00:28:53,667
- At, um, the theater.
709
00:28:54,042 --> 00:28:54,876
- Mummy's at the theater,
710
00:28:54,917 --> 00:28:56,542
what's she gone to see
at the theater?
711
00:28:57,001 --> 00:28:58,209
- I don't know.
712
00:28:58,709 --> 00:29:00,376
- And who did she go with?
713
00:29:00,876 --> 00:29:02,709
- Don't know that either.
714
00:29:03,376 --> 00:29:05,334
- But you know
she's gone to the theater?
715
00:29:06,751 --> 00:29:08,376
- Yes.
- Ah.
716
00:29:08,501 --> 00:29:09,542
Oh. Alright.
717
00:29:14,001 --> 00:29:15,417
- Get a move on!
[horse neighing]
718
00:29:20,542 --> 00:29:21,834
Keep moving!
719
00:29:24,042 --> 00:29:25,251
Are you okay?
720
00:29:30,876 --> 00:29:32,042
You alright?
721
00:29:38,042 --> 00:29:39,334
Catherine!
722
00:29:39,459 --> 00:29:41,376
- Oh, husband that I love.
723
00:29:41,459 --> 00:29:44,626
Why do you choose to give in
to such wild grief?
724
00:29:44,751 --> 00:29:46,292
- Catherine!
725
00:29:46,417 --> 00:29:47,667
- Farewell.
726
00:29:48,584 --> 00:29:53,084
And do not fail in your love
for our son.
727
00:29:53,584 --> 00:29:55,542
- [gasping]
728
00:30:03,001 --> 00:30:04,042
Oh.
729
00:30:06,751 --> 00:30:08,751
[groans]
730
00:30:14,584 --> 00:30:15,626
[sighs]
731
00:30:24,001 --> 00:30:25,167
[sighs]
732
00:30:27,501 --> 00:30:31,001
[Rob singing]
- ? I solve my problems
and I seen the light ?
733
00:30:31,126 --> 00:30:36,501
? We got a loving thing
we've gotta treat it right ?
734
00:30:36,626 --> 00:30:39,751
? There ain't no danger
we can go too far ?
735
00:30:39,876 --> 00:30:41,209
? We start believing it now ?
736
00:30:41,334 --> 00:30:44,834
- Are you singing "Grease"
because we're in Greece?
737
00:30:45,001 --> 00:30:46,876
- ? Greece is the word ?
738
00:30:48,042 --> 00:30:50,626
? They think our love
is just a growing thing ?
739
00:30:50,751 --> 00:30:51,834
- You know that,
you know that "Grease"
740
00:30:51,959 --> 00:30:53,751
is not about
the country Greece?
741
00:30:53,876 --> 00:30:55,959
- When I'm in Greece,
I hear the word Greece
742
00:30:56,251 --> 00:30:57,542
I think "Grease."
743
00:30:57,584 --> 00:30:59,542
- Yes, but it's not the same thing
as it... It's a homophone.
744
00:30:59,667 --> 00:31:00,667
- No, no, no.
- It's a homophone.
745
00:31:00,792 --> 00:31:02,501
- It's a... How dare you?
746
00:31:02,584 --> 00:31:04,626
How dare you?
747
00:31:04,751 --> 00:31:06,001
I'm not a homophone.
748
00:31:06,126 --> 00:31:07,834
- I'm a heterosexual.
- I'm a hetero...
749
00:31:07,959 --> 00:31:12,042
I'm not, I'm a human being,
um, good evening.
750
00:31:12,167 --> 00:31:14,292
Um, no, look, Steve,
look, for-- for me, Steve
751
00:31:14,417 --> 00:31:16,084
Greece is the word, yes?
752
00:31:16,209 --> 00:31:17,459
It's the word that you heard
753
00:31:17,584 --> 00:31:19,084
it's got a groove,
it's got a meaning.
754
00:31:19,209 --> 00:31:20,751
Greece is the time,
it's the place, it's the motion.
755
00:31:20,876 --> 00:31:22,792
Well, Greece
is the way we're feeling.
756
00:31:22,917 --> 00:31:23,917
Talk more about that.
757
00:31:24,042 --> 00:31:26,376
Expand on that. Um...
758
00:31:26,542 --> 00:31:28,917
Do you know
who wrote "Grease?"
759
00:31:29,042 --> 00:31:30,792
Steve Coogan, did you know
who wrote "Grease?"
760
00:31:30,917 --> 00:31:32,376
- No, I don't know who--
- It was Barry Gibbs.
761
00:31:32,501 --> 00:31:34,209
- I know who, a lot of the writers
from Ancient Greece are
762
00:31:34,334 --> 00:31:35,584
but I know that's not
as important to you
763
00:31:35,709 --> 00:31:37,251
as who wrote the song
"Grease."
764
00:31:37,376 --> 00:31:39,709
- It was written by Barry Gibb,
because Robert Stigwood
765
00:31:39,834 --> 00:31:42,001
the Bee Gees' manager,
was producing the music.
766
00:31:42,126 --> 00:31:44,292
Now, the original stage musical,
of course, it didn't have
767
00:31:44,376 --> 00:31:46,209
the song, "Grease,"
and Robbie said to Barry
768
00:31:46,334 --> 00:31:49,126
We're enjoying such great such
success with Saturday Night Fever
769
00:31:49,251 --> 00:31:52,334
the old records,
the "Tragedy," uh...
770
00:31:52,459 --> 00:31:54,917
- Do you know who wrote that,
uh do you know who wrote that
771
00:31:55,042 --> 00:31:57,042
a friend to everyone
is a friend to no one?
772
00:31:57,251 --> 00:31:57,959
- Yes, Aristotle.
773
00:31:58,001 --> 00:31:59,959
Now, let me tell you this--
- Only because I told you.
774
00:32:00,084 --> 00:32:01,542
- No, I knew it already.
775
00:32:01,584 --> 00:32:03,792
- No, you didn't, if you-- you,
you don't, you don't know
776
00:32:03,917 --> 00:32:06,917
you, you, you,
you learn more about...
777
00:32:07,084 --> 00:32:10,042
You know more about, uh,
these irrelevant things like
778
00:32:10,084 --> 00:32:13,751
who wrote the song "Grease,"
these, these trivialities
779
00:32:13,792 --> 00:32:15,459
than anything to do
with Ancient Greece
780
00:32:15,584 --> 00:32:19,042
other than what I've spoon-fed
you over the last few days.
781
00:32:19,667 --> 00:32:22,167
- ? Grease is the time
it's the place ?
782
00:32:22,292 --> 00:32:23,792
? It's the motion ?
783
00:32:23,876 --> 00:32:27,459
? And Grease is the way
we are feeling ?
784
00:32:28,501 --> 00:32:30,084
[rain pattering]
785
00:32:32,251 --> 00:32:34,834
You know the Greeks thought
Delphi was the center
786
00:32:35,084 --> 00:32:37,834
of the world, literally the
center of the Greek world.
787
00:32:37,959 --> 00:32:40,042
- The navel, as it were?
- Yes.
788
00:32:40,167 --> 00:32:41,751
I think so.
789
00:32:41,876 --> 00:32:45,084
- And they had a, a cave
790
00:32:45,626 --> 00:32:48,417
the woman in the cave sitting
on a tripod
791
00:32:48,584 --> 00:32:52,084
with um, smoke coming up
underneath her.
792
00:32:52,209 --> 00:32:53,751
They'd have a, they'd have
a prophet there to interpret
793
00:32:53,876 --> 00:32:55,084
she would then,
the smoke would come up
794
00:32:55,209 --> 00:32:57,376
and she'd start going...
795
00:32:57,501 --> 00:32:59,959
And, uh, they'd have
a prophet to interpret
796
00:33:00,084 --> 00:33:02,542
what she was saying,
and the people believed
797
00:33:02,667 --> 00:33:06,376
that it was Apollo sending
his words up in smoke
798
00:33:06,459 --> 00:33:09,209
through her vagina,
and out of her mouth.
799
00:33:10,792 --> 00:33:13,251
And she was
the Priestess Pythia.
800
00:33:13,501 --> 00:33:14,834
- [sighs]
801
00:33:14,876 --> 00:33:16,251
Well, aren't you going to make
a joke about it?
802
00:33:16,376 --> 00:33:17,417
- No.
803
00:33:18,042 --> 00:33:20,917
If I did, it wouldn't
be one of my pithier comments.
804
00:33:21,042 --> 00:33:23,376
- Ha. I knew there was something
lurking in there somewhere.
805
00:33:23,501 --> 00:33:26,709
- Probably where the phrase,
"Blowing smoke up
806
00:33:26,834 --> 00:33:28,376
your ass" comes from.
807
00:33:28,542 --> 00:33:31,167
- It's a, it's a vagina,
it was a vagina, not her ass.
808
00:33:31,292 --> 00:33:32,876
I hope you know the difference
by now, Rob.
809
00:33:33,959 --> 00:33:35,251
God help your wife.
810
00:33:35,876 --> 00:33:37,209
I bet she doesn't know
which way to turn.
811
00:33:37,334 --> 00:33:39,834
- Now, this here
is the stone that
812
00:33:39,959 --> 00:33:42,584
Zeus dropped to signify
the center of the world.
813
00:33:42,709 --> 00:33:44,834
The navel of the world
just there.
814
00:33:45,292 --> 00:33:47,292
- Looks more like a clitoris
though, doesn't it?
815
00:33:47,917 --> 00:33:49,667
It does though, it looks more
like a giant clit.
816
00:33:49,792 --> 00:33:52,292
Well, that's just, that's almost
certainly deliberate.
817
00:33:52,751 --> 00:33:55,501
This was a shrine
to the female, to-- to Gaya
818
00:33:55,626 --> 00:33:58,292
Mother Earth, the creative.
819
00:33:58,417 --> 00:34:01,292
And, uh, until, of course,
Apollo came along
820
00:34:01,417 --> 00:34:03,084
claimed all the credit
for himself,
821
00:34:03,126 --> 00:34:05,001
surprise, surprise.
822
00:34:05,209 --> 00:34:07,459
It was ever thus,
the patriarchy, uh
823
00:34:07,709 --> 00:34:10,417
claim, claiming credit.
824
00:34:10,584 --> 00:34:12,376
- Very spiritual, isn't it?
825
00:34:12,501 --> 00:34:13,501
- Yeah.
826
00:34:13,626 --> 00:34:15,292
[thunder rumbles]
827
00:34:18,792 --> 00:34:20,334
[bell tolling]
828
00:34:22,251 --> 00:34:25,334
- Michelin starred
Varoulko Seaside
829
00:34:25,542 --> 00:34:28,959
in Piraeus, Athens,
is widely regarded
830
00:34:29,084 --> 00:34:33,501
heh, as Greece's
top seafood restaurant.
831
00:34:37,334 --> 00:34:39,709
[indistinct chatter]
832
00:34:43,917 --> 00:34:45,251
Well, it's very nice, isn't it?
833
00:34:45,376 --> 00:34:47,501
This is, uh,
not what I expected of Athens
834
00:34:47,626 --> 00:34:49,667
I was thinking hot and dusty
and not wet--
835
00:34:49,792 --> 00:34:52,667
- Not, well, uh, this is exactly
what I expected of
836
00:34:52,834 --> 00:34:54,459
of Athens,
because lots of boats
837
00:34:54,584 --> 00:34:56,167
because it's a,
it was a naval power.
838
00:34:56,292 --> 00:34:58,251
Uh, the-- the Athenian Navy
defeated
839
00:34:58,376 --> 00:35:01,584
the Persians
in the Battle of Salamis.
840
00:35:01,709 --> 00:35:04,167
- The Battle of Salamis?
- Yeah.
841
00:35:04,709 --> 00:35:06,542
So are you gonna do something
about two guys with salamis
842
00:35:06,626 --> 00:35:08,084
hitting each other
on the head?
843
00:35:08,209 --> 00:35:10,001
Or the fact that salami's
a bit like cocks?
844
00:35:10,126 --> 00:35:11,542
- Yeah, no, no,
I wasn't gonna go there, but...
845
00:35:11,667 --> 00:35:12,917
- Really? Well,
the Battle of Salami's...
846
00:35:13,042 --> 00:35:14,876
- The Battle of Salami's.
847
00:35:15,001 --> 00:35:18,334
Yeah, but they had Battle of,
um, Marathon not far from here
848
00:35:18,459 --> 00:35:20,001
that wasn't a naval battle,
was it?
849
00:35:20,126 --> 00:35:21,376
- I didn't say all the battles
were naval.
850
00:35:21,501 --> 00:35:23,709
- And that's where
we get the marathon from.
851
00:35:23,834 --> 00:35:26,376
It was a guy,
a soldier, came, he ran
852
00:35:26,501 --> 00:35:29,376
from the Battle at Marathon,
all the way back to Athens.
853
00:35:29,501 --> 00:35:31,917
And then, you won't know this,
he dropped dead.
854
00:35:32,084 --> 00:35:33,584
- And what did he shout
just before he died?
855
00:35:33,709 --> 00:35:35,584
- He said, "I've got shooting
pains down my arm
856
00:35:35,709 --> 00:35:37,042
and sort of followed
by a crushing
857
00:35:37,167 --> 00:35:38,334
feeling across my chest."
858
00:35:38,459 --> 00:35:40,251
- No, no, Nike!
- Please.
859
00:35:40,376 --> 00:35:41,792
- What?
Thank you very much.
860
00:35:41,917 --> 00:35:45,251
[indistinct]
861
00:35:45,376 --> 00:35:46,667
Thank you very much.
862
00:35:46,751 --> 00:35:48,084
- And a premium salad
from white grouper.
863
00:35:48,209 --> 00:35:50,084
Boiled eggs
and brioche, crispy.
864
00:35:50,209 --> 00:35:51,667
- Thank you, thank you.
- Bon appetite.
865
00:35:51,792 --> 00:35:53,042
- Thank you.
866
00:35:53,167 --> 00:35:55,209
Uh, he shout,
he shouted, "Nike!"
867
00:35:55,334 --> 00:35:56,876
- He had a sponsorship deal,
he wanted to
868
00:35:57,001 --> 00:35:58,626
thank the guys at Nike.
869
00:35:58,751 --> 00:36:01,376
- No, he shouted Nike 'cause Nike
is the Goddess of Victory.
870
00:36:01,501 --> 00:36:03,959
[utensils clattering]
871
00:36:04,084 --> 00:36:05,626
[indistinct chatter]
872
00:36:07,292 --> 00:36:08,709
Have you ever run
a marathon?
873
00:36:08,834 --> 00:36:10,376
- No, of course not, no.
874
00:36:10,876 --> 00:36:12,959
- I have.
- Really?
875
00:36:13,292 --> 00:36:14,876
If you died at the end
of a marathon
876
00:36:15,001 --> 00:36:18,292
I would gladly try and resuscitate
you, you know, to...
877
00:36:18,417 --> 00:36:19,959
- What, are you doing,
waving goodbye to me?
878
00:36:20,084 --> 00:36:22,917
- No, I'm pressing your chest,
and staying alive.
879
00:36:23,042 --> 00:36:25,042
- That, you don't do that, you
don't, you-- you don't pat us
880
00:36:25,167 --> 00:36:27,167
pat someone on the back.
881
00:36:27,251 --> 00:36:30,376
Arms together.
Elbows locked.
882
00:36:30,501 --> 00:36:33,542
Push down,
30 chest compressions, 30.
883
00:36:33,667 --> 00:36:34,667
And you count them.
884
00:36:34,792 --> 00:36:36,001
One, two, three,
885
00:36:36,126 --> 00:36:37,709
four, five, six...
886
00:36:37,834 --> 00:36:39,251
- ? Staying alive
staying alive ?
887
00:36:39,376 --> 00:36:41,084
- ...ten, you do thirty of those.
888
00:36:41,209 --> 00:36:43,042
- ? Steve's gonna die
Steve's gonna die ?
889
00:36:43,167 --> 00:36:45,042
- Then two breaths.
- Yeah.
890
00:36:45,167 --> 00:36:48,542
- Pinch the nose, head back,
two breaths, not your nose.
891
00:36:48,667 --> 00:36:50,001
The nose of the person you're
breathing into their mouth.
892
00:36:50,126 --> 00:36:51,542
- Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
- Head back.
893
00:36:51,667 --> 00:36:52,876
- We've lost him.
- So something around his neck.
894
00:36:53,001 --> 00:36:53,959
What happened?
We've lost him.
895
00:36:54,126 --> 00:36:56,126
But I'm pinching my nose.
896
00:36:56,251 --> 00:36:57,709
Not your nose, you idiot.
897
00:36:57,834 --> 00:36:59,917
- Well, it's 'cause
you make people laugh
898
00:37:00,042 --> 00:37:02,459
and while losing valuable seconds,
that will be good.
899
00:37:02,584 --> 00:37:03,834
- What if you found it funny
900
00:37:03,959 --> 00:37:05,501
and you sprung back
to life laughing?
901
00:37:05,626 --> 00:37:07,959
Well, I-- I'd have to be
conscious for that to
902
00:37:08,042 --> 00:37:10,459
uh, to happen, so, so if I'm
conscious, then there's no need
903
00:37:10,584 --> 00:37:12,042
to resuscitate me,
it doesn't make sense, so...
904
00:37:12,167 --> 00:37:13,417
- Alright, I'm banging your chest,
can I break a rib?
905
00:37:13,542 --> 00:37:14,709
Would you mind
if I broke a rib?
906
00:37:14,834 --> 00:37:15,834
- Two breaths,
then thirty more.
907
00:37:15,959 --> 00:37:18,251
One, two, three, four.
908
00:37:18,376 --> 00:37:22,126
- ? Ah ah ah ah Steve's gonna die
Steve's gonna die ?
909
00:37:22,251 --> 00:37:25,626
- Yeah, and why, why do they say
do it to the, to the beat
910
00:37:25,751 --> 00:37:27,417
of, uh, the Bee Gees, why?
911
00:37:27,542 --> 00:37:29,751
- Because it's the number of beats
per minute is, is the exact--
912
00:37:29,876 --> 00:37:30,876
- And how many beats
per minute is it?
913
00:37:31,001 --> 00:37:32,417
- A hundred and twenty.
- Yes.
914
00:37:32,542 --> 00:37:34,501
- 'Cause that's
the classic disco beat.
915
00:37:34,542 --> 00:37:35,959
- Yes, I know.
916
00:37:36,001 --> 00:37:37,834
- Then we've got a very dangerous
area because then it might
917
00:37:37,959 --> 00:37:40,167
be time to try
mouth to mouth.
918
00:37:40,292 --> 00:37:42,876
And I would not be comfortable
with that.
919
00:37:43,251 --> 00:37:45,542
- I'm glad. I'm glad you wouldn't
be comfortable with that.
920
00:37:45,667 --> 00:37:47,626
- I would, I would,
I would find it hard
921
00:37:47,667 --> 00:37:48,792
to press my lips to yours.
922
00:37:48,834 --> 00:37:49,917
- I'm glad you wouldn't be
comfortable with it
923
00:37:50,042 --> 00:37:53,251
'cause I enjoy it more
when you don't enjoy it.
924
00:37:53,376 --> 00:37:55,334
[laughing]
925
00:38:02,292 --> 00:38:04,626
- Marathon man, Hoffman,
Dustin Hoffman
926
00:38:04,751 --> 00:38:06,417
Laurence Olivier,
they're very different actors.
927
00:38:06,542 --> 00:38:08,917
- Olivier acts from the outside in,
he's not a method actor
928
00:38:09,042 --> 00:38:12,626
never was, he likes
to look in the mirror
929
00:38:12,751 --> 00:38:15,084
and look like someone different.
930
00:38:15,209 --> 00:38:17,751
And then make that
the basis of his character.
931
00:38:17,917 --> 00:38:20,167
- Whereas Dustin is...
- Dustin would like that.
932
00:38:20,292 --> 00:38:21,459
- I think I'm quite like Dustin.
933
00:38:21,584 --> 00:38:23,459
I'm not short.
I don't like Dustin.
934
00:38:23,584 --> 00:38:24,917
- Yeah, well, that,
that's Dustin Hoffman.
935
00:38:25,042 --> 00:38:26,417
- Oh.
- Oh, yeah, Dustin.
936
00:38:26,542 --> 00:38:27,917
- Oh.
937
00:38:28,001 --> 00:38:29,459
- Mrs. Robinson, are you trying
to seduce me?
938
00:38:29,584 --> 00:38:32,501
- Are you trying
to seduce me, Mrs. Robinson?
939
00:38:32,626 --> 00:38:34,667
- Mrs. Robinson, are you trying
to seduce me?
940
00:38:34,792 --> 00:38:37,042
- Then what would
you choose next?
941
00:38:37,167 --> 00:38:38,417
I'll tell you,
"Midnight Cowboy."
942
00:38:38,542 --> 00:38:40,126
Why did he choose that?
John Schlesinger.
943
00:38:40,251 --> 00:38:41,251
'Cause it was so different.
944
00:38:41,376 --> 00:38:42,667
Who did he play?
Ratso? Ritso?
945
00:38:42,792 --> 00:38:44,084
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Who was opposite him?
946
00:38:44,209 --> 00:38:45,792
John Voight.
- John Voight, yeah.
947
00:38:45,917 --> 00:38:47,376
John Voight's a Trump supporter,
mad Trump supporter.
948
00:38:47,501 --> 00:38:48,542
- But we didn't know that then.
949
00:38:48,667 --> 00:38:50,376
John Voight says
950
00:38:50,501 --> 00:38:53,584
"Well, hell, I'm a hustler,
you didn't know that?"
951
00:38:53,709 --> 00:38:55,334
And Dustin says, "Well, how am
I supposed to know that?
952
00:38:55,459 --> 00:38:57,126
You've gotta tell the person
these things.
953
00:38:57,292 --> 00:38:59,084
I mean, I understand,
the broad starts crying
954
00:38:59,209 --> 00:39:00,459
I cut my heart out for her.
955
00:39:00,584 --> 00:39:02,334
You will meet my friend
O'Daniel."
956
00:39:02,459 --> 00:39:04,584
- Can you do an interpret?
- I haven't finished doing it.
957
00:39:04,709 --> 00:39:07,542
"You will meet my friend
O'Daniel, he runs a business..."
958
00:39:07,667 --> 00:39:09,334
- That's very good.
- I still haven't finished.
959
00:39:09,417 --> 00:39:12,084
"You will meet my O'Daniel,
he runs the biggest..."
960
00:39:12,209 --> 00:39:15,292
Now I'm getting it wrong
'cause you get in my fricking way.
961
00:39:15,417 --> 00:39:17,751
I'm walking here,
I'm walking here.
962
00:39:17,876 --> 00:39:20,376
Well, I'm talking here,
let me finish this thing right now.
963
00:39:20,501 --> 00:39:21,959
"You'll meet my friend O'Daniel
964
00:39:22,084 --> 00:39:23,834
he runs the biggest stable
in the whole goddamn
965
00:39:23,959 --> 00:39:25,084
metropolitan area."
966
00:39:25,209 --> 00:39:27,792
It's crazy,
a stud like you paying.
967
00:39:28,584 --> 00:39:30,584
And then there was "Tootsie,"
of course.
968
00:39:30,626 --> 00:39:31,626
- I knew that.
969
00:39:31,751 --> 00:39:33,084
- Michael,
nobody will employ you
970
00:39:33,209 --> 00:39:34,709
you played a tomato,
they went two days over
971
00:39:34,834 --> 00:39:36,501
'cause you wouldn't sit down.
972
00:39:36,626 --> 00:39:38,751
- I'm a woman, I-- I don't like
the way you speak to women.
973
00:39:38,917 --> 00:39:40,626
If you say that again to me,
I'm gonna knock your balls
974
00:39:40,751 --> 00:39:42,751
right through
the roof of your mouth.
975
00:39:42,876 --> 00:39:43,876
- I'm not Dorothy Michaels.
976
00:39:44,001 --> 00:39:45,292
- I-- I'm not Dorothy Michaels.
977
00:39:45,417 --> 00:39:47,167
- I'm Michael Dorsey.
- Michael Dorsey.
978
00:39:47,292 --> 00:39:49,001
[laughs]
979
00:39:49,084 --> 00:39:50,876
[speaking in a foreign language]
980
00:39:53,251 --> 00:39:54,542
I'm an excellent driver.
981
00:39:54,667 --> 00:39:56,417
- I'm gonna, yeah, okay.
- I'm an excellent driver.
982
00:39:56,542 --> 00:39:57,792
- Can you do...
- Oh.
983
00:39:57,917 --> 00:40:00,209
- Can you do,
uh, a Godzilla
984
00:40:00,334 --> 00:40:02,292
animation in a film?
985
00:40:02,876 --> 00:40:04,251
Kind of like the stop frame
animation.
986
00:40:04,376 --> 00:40:05,792
- No.
- Okay, watch me.
987
00:40:06,584 --> 00:40:08,209
[roaring]
988
00:40:19,376 --> 00:40:20,501
It's very good, isn't it?
989
00:40:20,626 --> 00:40:22,376
- I still prefer
your Neil Kinnock.
990
00:40:22,501 --> 00:40:23,792
- Um...
- If I had to choose.
991
00:40:23,917 --> 00:40:25,251
If I had to choose
with a gun to my head.
992
00:40:25,376 --> 00:40:27,251
- And can you...
I can do dubbing films where
993
00:40:27,376 --> 00:40:28,709
the voice doesn't matter.
994
00:40:28,834 --> 00:40:30,334
- Yeah, you've done this before.
- I know.
995
00:40:30,417 --> 00:40:31,917
It was good though,
watch.
996
00:40:32,042 --> 00:40:33,251
- Are you gonna do it?
- Yeah.
997
00:40:33,376 --> 00:40:36,417
Um... Don't be ridiculous.
998
00:40:36,542 --> 00:40:39,084
And I told you time
and time again
999
00:40:39,209 --> 00:40:41,959
every time you come here,
your voice doesn't suit you at all
1000
00:40:42,084 --> 00:40:43,667
and when you lose
your temper
1001
00:40:43,792 --> 00:40:45,209
it should be like this.
1002
00:40:45,334 --> 00:40:46,584
Hey, you!
1003
00:40:46,709 --> 00:40:48,001
You're a fool.
1004
00:40:48,126 --> 00:40:49,292
- [laughs]
1005
00:40:49,417 --> 00:40:51,126
Fair enough.
1006
00:40:51,251 --> 00:40:52,751
In "The Marathon Man",
of course
1007
00:40:52,876 --> 00:40:54,667
in-- in that scene where you
said, is it safe?
1008
00:40:54,792 --> 00:40:58,501
- Is it safe?
Is it safe?
1009
00:40:58,626 --> 00:41:00,126
- Yes, it's safe.
1010
00:41:00,292 --> 00:41:01,667
- Oh, yes, it's safe,
oh, yes, it's very, very safe.
1011
00:41:01,792 --> 00:41:03,626
- Are you going to do
both parts?
1012
00:41:03,751 --> 00:41:04,751
- Is it safe?
1013
00:41:04,876 --> 00:41:06,751
- It's safe, it's safe, yeah.
1014
00:41:06,876 --> 00:41:08,709
- Does this hurt?
1015
00:41:09,251 --> 00:41:11,417
You have a cavity
at the back.
1016
00:41:11,917 --> 00:41:13,417
- Ha, but see,
this is where you got it wrong.
1017
00:41:13,542 --> 00:41:15,042
'Cause he doesn't do that.
1018
00:41:15,167 --> 00:41:17,251
The whole point is,
he doesn't go, ugh, does he?
1019
00:41:17,376 --> 00:41:19,126
He's very,
that's what makes it scary.
1020
00:41:19,251 --> 00:41:22,001
'Cause he does it ever so gently,
like he's like a dentist.
1021
00:41:22,126 --> 00:41:24,709
And that's why he's ahead,
because he's so...
1022
00:41:24,834 --> 00:41:27,459
Now, try it again, Steve.
I want you for this part.
1023
00:41:27,584 --> 00:41:30,126
But at the moment--
- You have a slight cavity.
1024
00:41:31,626 --> 00:41:33,501
Just...
- Oh!
1025
00:41:33,626 --> 00:41:36,167
Oh, oh, oh, and then you
get the oil of cloves.
1026
00:41:36,292 --> 00:41:38,376
- Yes. Simple oil of cloves.
- But you do it very caringly.
1027
00:41:38,501 --> 00:41:41,251
Very caringly.
- Simple oil of cloves.
1028
00:41:41,417 --> 00:41:42,626
- Oh, oh.
1029
00:41:42,751 --> 00:41:44,542
- It makes it so much better.
1030
00:41:44,667 --> 00:41:46,334
- [panting]
1031
00:41:46,459 --> 00:41:48,251
It's, it's not safe,
it's not safe.
1032
00:41:48,376 --> 00:41:49,667
Very dangerous.
1033
00:41:49,792 --> 00:41:52,084
- [imitating drill whirring]
1034
00:41:52,167 --> 00:41:53,167
- What are you doing there?
Are you drilling?
1035
00:41:53,292 --> 00:41:54,667
- Yeah.
1036
00:41:54,792 --> 00:41:56,876
- [imitating drill whirring]
1037
00:42:00,542 --> 00:42:03,501
Phew.
I'm now lightheaded. Seriously.
1038
00:42:03,834 --> 00:42:05,501
- Yeah, that was, that was,
that was actually quite good.
1039
00:42:05,626 --> 00:42:06,917
- It was good,
I'll do it again.
1040
00:42:07,042 --> 00:42:09,001
[imitating drill whirring]
1041
00:42:15,626 --> 00:42:16,917
- [laughing]
1042
00:42:19,042 --> 00:42:20,751
And now from deep inside
Dustin's mouth
1043
00:42:20,876 --> 00:42:23,292
comes this, comes this,
comes this...
1044
00:42:24,001 --> 00:42:25,626
Help me, get me out of here,
I'm a tiny tooth.
1045
00:42:25,876 --> 00:42:27,834
I can't get out
of Dustin Hoffman's mouth.
1046
00:42:27,959 --> 00:42:31,251
Oh, my God. I'm a molar and I
can't get out of Dustin's mouth.
1047
00:42:31,334 --> 00:42:34,376
- He thinks he's some sort
of wise guy, but he's not.
1048
00:42:37,251 --> 00:42:39,084
- I just don't know why
you dubbed.
1049
00:42:39,334 --> 00:42:41,001
- Well, I don't know, why are you
a small man in a box?
1050
00:42:41,126 --> 00:42:43,626
- Well, it's a funny notion,
but I'm not, I'm small, I'm small--
1051
00:42:43,751 --> 00:42:46,209
- It's a funny notion that...
It's a funny notion that someone
1052
00:42:46,334 --> 00:42:48,459
might walk round in real life
being dubbed.
1053
00:42:48,584 --> 00:42:50,334
- Yeah, but, but then--
- It doesn't make sense.
1054
00:42:50,459 --> 00:42:52,251
- In this instance,
we're in a...
1055
00:42:52,376 --> 00:42:53,834
Because we're in
a dental setting.
1056
00:42:54,084 --> 00:42:56,292
- And a man's trapped in a box,
why in a dentist?
1057
00:42:56,501 --> 00:42:58,709
- A tooth is trapped
in a mouth.
1058
00:42:58,834 --> 00:43:00,251
- And the tooth talks?
1059
00:43:00,376 --> 00:43:02,042
- I'm trapped inside Dustin
Hoffman's mouth.
1060
00:43:02,167 --> 00:43:04,084
- Well, this is where your
claim for logic
1061
00:43:04,251 --> 00:43:06,001
falls to the ground,
Mr. Rob Brydon.
1062
00:43:06,126 --> 00:43:08,376
There's no possible way
of, uh, offering
1063
00:43:08,501 --> 00:43:09,542
an explanation for that.
1064
00:43:09,667 --> 00:43:10,751
Case dismissed.
1065
00:43:14,251 --> 00:43:17,209
- So, it's your first visit in,
uh, our hotel, sir?
1066
00:43:17,334 --> 00:43:19,751
- Uh, first visit to this hotel,
yes, but I've been to Athens
1067
00:43:19,876 --> 00:43:20,917
though, a couple
of times before.
1068
00:43:21,334 --> 00:43:23,376
- Hello.
- Hello.
1069
00:43:23,501 --> 00:43:26,334
How are you?
- Nice to hear your voice.
1070
00:43:26,501 --> 00:43:28,251
- Hey, Greg, how you doing?
1071
00:43:28,334 --> 00:43:29,334
- I'm very good, very good,
how are you?
1072
00:43:29,459 --> 00:43:31,126
- Uh, good, good, yeah, great.
1073
00:43:31,251 --> 00:43:32,667
- How's Rob?
Is he keeping you on your toes?
1074
00:43:32,792 --> 00:43:34,459
He's a very,
he's a very funny man
1075
00:43:34,584 --> 00:43:36,292
he really, really does
make me laugh.
1076
00:43:36,417 --> 00:43:38,251
- Yes, he's very funny, yes.
1077
00:43:38,376 --> 00:43:39,834
- What, uh,
what can I do for you?
1078
00:43:39,959 --> 00:43:42,584
- Is there any news
on the Damien Chazelle film?
1079
00:43:42,709 --> 00:43:45,376
- Yes, uh, yes,
but it's a no, I'm afraid
1080
00:43:45,542 --> 00:43:48,001
from them,
they do, they loved you
1081
00:43:48,126 --> 00:43:50,667
they-- they thought what you
did was absolutely fantastic.
1082
00:43:50,792 --> 00:43:53,542
- I cry, I cried and,
uh, I did the whole...
1083
00:43:53,626 --> 00:43:55,501
I mean, I did the whole bit.
1084
00:43:55,626 --> 00:43:58,209
- Yeah, I know, though, though
the crying was, was great
1085
00:43:58,334 --> 00:44:00,042
they-- they mentioned
they loved it.
1086
00:44:00,167 --> 00:44:05,334
- Listen, I've had an idea,
why don't you, at the end of this
1087
00:44:05,459 --> 00:44:07,501
which is Ithaca,
why don't you come out
1088
00:44:07,626 --> 00:44:11,042
and you and I could have
a few days together?
1089
00:44:16,251 --> 00:44:18,251
[indistinct chatter]
1090
00:44:20,542 --> 00:44:22,251
- Hello.
- Ah, there they are. Hello.
1091
00:44:22,376 --> 00:44:24,626
- Hey.
- Alright?
1092
00:44:24,751 --> 00:44:26,167
- Nice to see you.
- Nice to see you again.
1093
00:44:26,334 --> 00:44:27,501
- Nice to see you, too.
1094
00:44:27,626 --> 00:44:29,834
- You alright? Thanks.
- Very good.
1095
00:44:29,959 --> 00:44:33,209
- Good. Nice to see you.
- You look fantastic.
1096
00:44:33,292 --> 00:44:35,459
- Right, photograph.
- Yes.
1097
00:44:35,584 --> 00:44:38,209
- At the Epidaurus, the theater.
- Mm-hmm.
1098
00:44:38,334 --> 00:44:40,417
- Since Greece
is the birthplace of drama.
1099
00:44:40,542 --> 00:44:42,251
- Good.
- A bit on the nose.
1100
00:44:42,376 --> 00:44:43,626
- Steve, it was your idea.
1101
00:44:44,542 --> 00:44:46,126
- Was it?
- Yeah.
1102
00:44:46,376 --> 00:44:47,959
Uh, right, let's do it.
- Okay.
1103
00:44:49,126 --> 00:44:51,501
[dramatic orchestral music]
1104
00:44:51,667 --> 00:44:53,626
??
1105
00:44:54,959 --> 00:44:58,459
- This is, um, hot, if I was
looking for one word.
1106
00:44:58,584 --> 00:45:00,709
To describe this weather,
you'd be hard...
1107
00:45:00,834 --> 00:45:02,584
[indistinct chatter]
1108
00:45:02,709 --> 00:45:05,417
- Mad dogs, Englishmen
and, uh, Welshmen.
1109
00:45:06,751 --> 00:45:09,209
- Oh, it's very hot.
- I know it's hot.
1110
00:45:09,334 --> 00:45:11,876
- Masks?
- Comedy? Tragedy?
1111
00:45:12,209 --> 00:45:14,584
- This is, they look like BAFTAs,
is that the idea?
1112
00:45:14,667 --> 00:45:16,792
- It does look like a BAFTA.
- Here we are,
you're on familiar ground.
1113
00:45:16,917 --> 00:45:18,751
I've got tragedy,
are you happy with that?
1114
00:45:18,876 --> 00:45:20,667
- Um, I don't know,
what do you reckon?
1115
00:45:20,792 --> 00:45:22,001
- I'd go with that.
- Somedy.
1116
00:45:22,126 --> 00:45:23,459
You're know as a titan
of comedy.
1117
00:45:23,584 --> 00:45:24,917
- I should have the smile
1118
00:45:25,042 --> 00:45:26,709
because of the number
of BAFTAs I've won.
1119
00:45:26,834 --> 00:45:28,417
- And I should have the frown
'cause I've spent
1120
00:45:28,542 --> 00:45:29,876
a week with you.
Some on, let's do it.
1121
00:45:30,001 --> 00:45:32,959
- On the other hand,
Rob is known for
1122
00:45:33,084 --> 00:45:35,417
accessible light entertainment.
1123
00:45:35,542 --> 00:45:36,959
Smiley face.
1124
00:45:37,084 --> 00:45:41,792
And I'm now known for,
uh, dramatic roles.
1125
00:45:41,917 --> 00:45:45,501
Ah, because I got
a BAFTA nomination for
1126
00:45:45,626 --> 00:45:47,251
playing Stan Laurel.
1127
00:45:47,376 --> 00:45:50,209
- For impersonating a comedian.
So we give it back to you.
1128
00:45:50,376 --> 00:45:51,959
- Yeah, I wasn't really
impersonating a comedian, though
1129
00:45:52,084 --> 00:45:54,292
because BAFTA, the nomination
was for best acting...
1130
00:45:54,376 --> 00:45:56,167
- It certainly was. Hmm.
- ...in a drama.
1131
00:45:56,792 --> 00:45:58,084
- Guys, can you take off
the hats?
1132
00:45:58,334 --> 00:45:59,751
- What?
- Hats. Lose the hats.
1133
00:45:59,876 --> 00:46:01,584
- Right, I'm gonna burn
without a hat.
1134
00:46:01,709 --> 00:46:03,292
- Okay, we will do it quickly.
1135
00:46:03,417 --> 00:46:05,042
- I'm not sure about--
- Why is he on a higher level?
1136
00:46:05,167 --> 00:46:07,251
This is just exacerbating
the height thing.
1137
00:46:07,376 --> 00:46:08,834
- You can go on
the same level.
1138
00:46:08,959 --> 00:46:10,959
- I don't think Rob can be
on the same level.
1139
00:46:11,084 --> 00:46:12,459
Oh, he's talking physically,
I see.
1140
00:46:12,584 --> 00:46:14,501
I've got it, okay,
yep, yep, yep, yep.
1141
00:46:14,626 --> 00:46:16,084
- Try and do like
that proper Greek actors
1142
00:46:16,209 --> 00:46:18,334
like a proper drama.
1143
00:46:18,459 --> 00:46:19,209
- As if we're all Greek actors.
1144
00:46:19,251 --> 00:46:21,001
Right, I'll stab you.
That will come easy.
1145
00:46:21,042 --> 00:46:23,501
Ready? Go on.
- Yeah, some kind of
drama there.
1146
00:46:23,626 --> 00:46:25,876
Yeah.
- Sing Goddess Achilles.
1147
00:46:26,001 --> 00:46:27,751
Rage black and murderous
1148
00:46:27,876 --> 00:46:30,167
that cost the Greeks
incalculable pain.
1149
00:46:30,334 --> 00:46:32,084
And cast countless souls
of heroes
1150
00:46:32,209 --> 00:46:35,834
into Hades' black,
dark pit.
1151
00:46:35,917 --> 00:46:39,501
- I am from BAFTA
and I'm afraid
1152
00:46:39,626 --> 00:46:42,376
your performance,
whilst impressive
1153
00:46:42,501 --> 00:46:44,501
didn't quite meet the criteria.
1154
00:46:46,001 --> 00:46:47,709
[Rob singing]
- ? It's a tragedy ?
1155
00:46:47,834 --> 00:46:51,417
? When a feeling's gone and you
can't go on it's tragedy ?
1156
00:46:51,959 --> 00:46:54,001
? When the morning cries
and you don't know why ?
1157
00:46:54,126 --> 00:46:55,959
? It's hard to bear ?
1158
00:46:56,084 --> 00:46:59,542
? With no one beside you
you're going nowhere ?
1159
00:46:59,667 --> 00:47:00,959
- San you sort of...
1160
00:47:01,084 --> 00:47:02,501
Yeah, but it's not a tragedy,
is it?
1161
00:47:02,626 --> 00:47:03,834
That's just depression.
1162
00:47:03,959 --> 00:47:05,084
- Well, that's what
a doctor would say
1163
00:47:05,209 --> 00:47:06,126
but Barry's not a doctor
1164
00:47:06,251 --> 00:47:08,001
Barry's a, a wordsmith.
1165
00:47:08,126 --> 00:47:10,251
So he's-- he's employing
his poetic license.
1166
00:47:11,792 --> 00:47:12,876
? Tragedy ?
1167
00:47:12,917 --> 00:47:14,751
- Oh, look at this rubbish here.
Look at that.
1168
00:47:14,959 --> 00:47:17,417
- Look at that.
Some on, come on, Greece.
- Oh, the bloody Greeks.
1169
00:47:17,792 --> 00:47:20,209
- Some on, Greece,
two and a half thousand years.
1170
00:47:21,792 --> 00:47:24,876
- Hi, it's Emma.
Hello, hi, yeah.
1171
00:47:25,251 --> 00:47:26,251
Um, I'm just checking
that you're there,
1172
00:47:26,292 --> 00:47:27,876
we're about to pull in.
1173
00:47:28,209 --> 00:47:30,376
Great. Oh, brilliant.
Alright then. Fab.
1174
00:47:32,001 --> 00:47:33,876
[indistinct chatter]
1175
00:47:43,917 --> 00:47:45,167
Oh, hi, Yugov.
- Hi, Emma, welcome.
1176
00:47:45,292 --> 00:47:46,626
- Nice to meet you,
how you doing?
1177
00:47:47,001 --> 00:47:48,459
So you're gonna meet them
tomorrow with the car
1178
00:47:48,501 --> 00:47:49,501
and then back here.
1179
00:47:49,542 --> 00:47:51,126
- Yes, yes.
- Yeah. Okay, brilliant.
1180
00:47:51,292 --> 00:47:52,417
- We're going on
one of the big yacht?
- Thank you.
1181
00:47:52,542 --> 00:47:54,376
- Um, where does the ferry
go from?
1182
00:47:54,459 --> 00:47:56,209
- The ferry's down there
on the right.
- Okay, brilliant.
1183
00:47:56,334 --> 00:47:58,334
- Have a good time.
- Bye, Yugov. Thank you so much.
1184
00:47:58,459 --> 00:47:59,459
- Okay, let's go.
1185
00:48:00,876 --> 00:48:02,542
- There's no cars allowed
on Piedra.
1186
00:48:02,667 --> 00:48:03,584
- Really?
- Gotta get a ferry, yeah.
1187
00:48:03,709 --> 00:48:04,626
- That's good.
1188
00:48:04,751 --> 00:48:05,876
- Yeah, it is good.
1189
00:48:06,001 --> 00:48:08,167
[instrumental orchestral music]
1190
00:48:08,209 --> 00:48:10,167
??
1191
00:48:23,626 --> 00:48:25,792
[bell tolling]
1192
00:48:34,459 --> 00:48:36,126
[laughs]
1193
00:48:36,209 --> 00:48:37,376
- Hi.
- Hi.
1194
00:48:37,501 --> 00:48:39,834
- I can take your bags?
- Oh, amazing.
1195
00:48:39,959 --> 00:48:41,667
Ah, we're gonna stay
at the Hedria.
- Yes.
1196
00:48:41,792 --> 00:48:42,959
- Where is the Hedria?
- It's over there.
1197
00:48:43,084 --> 00:48:44,042
- Okay, right.
- Very near.
1198
00:48:44,167 --> 00:48:45,626
- And you'll take us
to reception?
1199
00:48:45,751 --> 00:48:47,042
Okay, brilliant.
1200
00:48:47,167 --> 00:48:49,334
[instrumental music continues]
1201
00:48:49,376 --> 00:48:51,334
??
1202
00:48:54,251 --> 00:48:57,001
[speaking in foreign language]
1203
00:48:57,126 --> 00:49:00,084
- Right here we have
the sea mustard gazpacho.
1204
00:49:00,542 --> 00:49:02,042
- Oh.
- Wow. Amazing.
1205
00:49:02,167 --> 00:49:03,459
- Wow.
- Wow, it's amazing.
1206
00:49:05,042 --> 00:49:06,417
Delicious, thank you.
1207
00:49:06,542 --> 00:49:08,167
[indistinct chatter]
1208
00:49:09,542 --> 00:49:11,917
How are your kids, Rob? Good.
- Good, thank you.
1209
00:49:12,167 --> 00:49:15,751
Um, Chloe is ten,
Charlie is four.
1210
00:49:15,876 --> 00:49:17,876
- Wow.
- They're a handful.
1211
00:49:18,001 --> 00:49:19,001
- [chuckles]
1212
00:49:19,126 --> 00:49:20,542
- Well...
- How's yours?
1213
00:49:20,667 --> 00:49:22,459
- Very well, thanks,
she's four.
1214
00:49:22,584 --> 00:49:24,917
- Would you have another one
do you think at your age now?
1215
00:49:25,042 --> 00:49:26,792
- I just think at a certain age
you probably
1216
00:49:26,917 --> 00:49:29,084
it's probably, uh, not fair
on the kids, is it? You know.
1217
00:49:29,209 --> 00:49:30,876
- That'll keep you young, though,
look at Jagger.
1218
00:49:31,001 --> 00:49:33,251
Have you seen that clip of him
after he had his operation?
1219
00:49:33,376 --> 00:49:35,084
- I've seen that,
where he's dancing.
- Where he's dancing, yeah.
1220
00:49:35,209 --> 00:49:36,501
It's amazing.
- How long, we-- well..
1221
00:49:36,626 --> 00:49:37,834
How long was it
after his operation?
1222
00:49:37,959 --> 00:49:39,376
I don't know, not long.
Here, look.
1223
00:49:39,501 --> 00:49:40,667
- Like pretty soon after.
It was incredible.
- Really?
1224
00:49:40,792 --> 00:49:42,417
Golly, go on,
let me have a look.
1225
00:49:42,542 --> 00:49:43,917
- But he has many
young children, right?
1226
00:49:43,959 --> 00:49:45,334
So he needs to keep fit.
1227
00:49:45,376 --> 00:49:47,167
- He's, pretty soon,
he'll be the only man in Britain
1228
00:49:47,209 --> 00:49:49,126
with an earlier bed time
than his child.
1229
00:49:49,376 --> 00:49:51,167
- [laughing]
1230
00:49:51,626 --> 00:49:53,126
- Don't wanna go to bed.
I wanna stay up,
1231
00:49:53,167 --> 00:49:54,417
I wanna watch
the "One Show."
1232
00:49:54,834 --> 00:49:56,626
- You can share their nappies.
1233
00:49:56,959 --> 00:49:58,751
- Oh, hang on, he's found it,
I hope he has.
1234
00:49:58,876 --> 00:50:01,167
Or either that or he's having
some sort of a fit.
1235
00:50:01,292 --> 00:50:02,417
- I've-- I've, I knocked
the screen off.
1236
00:50:02,542 --> 00:50:04,667
- Oh, whoops, don't worry.
1237
00:50:04,792 --> 00:50:06,626
It's impressive though, right?
- No, it's, uh, very impressive.
1238
00:50:06,751 --> 00:50:08,709
- He's got a three-year-old.
He's obviously a...
1239
00:50:08,834 --> 00:50:11,334
- Yeah.
- Imagine him in the hospital.
1240
00:50:11,459 --> 00:50:13,876
"Oh, can I just say,
this ward is like
1241
00:50:14,001 --> 00:50:17,834
really noisy and 'cause we
can't, keep it down."
1242
00:50:17,959 --> 00:50:20,834
- "What time is visiting hours?"
- "When's the magazines coming
around?
1243
00:50:20,959 --> 00:50:22,251
I've finished this one."
- Here we are. Here we are.
1244
00:50:22,376 --> 00:50:24,626
"See the bloke
in the next bed?
1245
00:50:24,751 --> 00:50:27,001
He's done nothing but complain
since he got here."
1246
00:50:27,126 --> 00:50:30,001
"The nurses are-- are,
they're like, they're like
1247
00:50:30,126 --> 00:50:32,167
"they're like,
angel nurses in their...
1248
00:50:32,292 --> 00:50:35,001
"And he doesn't know who would
complain. I'm like, one elbow.
1249
00:50:35,167 --> 00:50:37,334
"You know, you, we should know
if you're alive.
1250
00:50:37,417 --> 00:50:40,084
"You know what I mean...
And-- and him over there.
1251
00:50:40,209 --> 00:50:43,126
"He has no visitors,
really sad.
1252
00:50:43,251 --> 00:50:44,834
"No one comes to see him.
1253
00:50:44,959 --> 00:50:48,001
You alright? Hello!"
"Yeah."
1254
00:50:48,126 --> 00:50:50,501
"You-- you doing alright?"
"Yeah."
1255
00:50:50,626 --> 00:50:52,876
- Do you think he was
on the ward at Papworth?
1256
00:50:53,001 --> 00:50:54,792
- Yeah, no, he probably had
a private room, didn't he?
1257
00:50:54,917 --> 00:50:56,209
- Yeah.
- Yeah, most likely.
1258
00:50:56,334 --> 00:50:57,876
- "Never mind, I can't get
no satisfaction
1259
00:50:58,001 --> 00:51:00,209
"I can't get no sleep.
The bloody noise.
1260
00:51:00,334 --> 00:51:02,959
"That one over there is moaning
and groaning all night.
1261
00:51:03,084 --> 00:51:04,459
You know, oh, oh, oh.."
1262
00:51:04,584 --> 00:51:06,042
- "Oh, it's talking to himself."
1263
00:51:06,167 --> 00:51:07,626
- "No wonder he don't
get any visitors.
1264
00:51:07,751 --> 00:51:10,126
- I mean, it's a nightmare."
- "Yeah."
1265
00:51:10,251 --> 00:51:12,001
- "But, you know,
Keith's come to visit
1266
00:51:12,126 --> 00:51:13,542
"and Ronny's come to visit
1267
00:51:13,667 --> 00:51:15,542
you know and Charlie's
come to visit."
1268
00:51:15,917 --> 00:51:17,501
- What, what?
- Didn't him and Keith
have a bit of a falling out?
1269
00:51:17,626 --> 00:51:19,959
- No, no.
- It's-- it's like me and him.
1270
00:51:20,084 --> 00:51:22,042
We get on, we love each other.
- Yeah, we have a little, uh...
1271
00:51:22,167 --> 00:51:24,167
"Me and Keith, we sometimes
have a bit of a, you know."
1272
00:51:24,292 --> 00:51:25,334
- He said he had a tiny toddler,
though.
1273
00:51:25,459 --> 00:51:26,626
Isn't there some article about...
1274
00:51:26,751 --> 00:51:28,876
- I, no, no, no. I've seen him...
No.
1275
00:51:29,001 --> 00:51:30,917
- Would you forgive Rob
if he said that?
- Sometimes.
1276
00:51:31,042 --> 00:51:32,876
- Well, people would know
if it wasn't true.
1277
00:51:33,001 --> 00:51:35,959
- This cat's,
this cat's gonna be his...
1278
00:51:36,084 --> 00:51:39,167
When he goes swimming, right,
like when he's facing down
1279
00:51:39,292 --> 00:51:41,376
it's like he's dredging,
you know, it's like he's--
1280
00:51:41,501 --> 00:51:43,667
- Oh, God.
1281
00:51:43,792 --> 00:51:45,792
- That's what Keith Richards,
and when he, when he laughs...
1282
00:51:45,917 --> 00:51:47,459
[wheezes]
1283
00:51:47,584 --> 00:51:50,251
...it's like the last death
throes of Mutley.
1284
00:51:50,376 --> 00:51:51,459
Yeah.
1285
00:51:51,584 --> 00:51:52,834
[gasping]
1286
00:51:53,584 --> 00:51:55,376
[speaking in foreign language]
1287
00:51:58,751 --> 00:52:00,501
He's loving it, isn't he?
Look at that.
1288
00:52:00,626 --> 00:52:02,834
- I could do that.
- It is actually quite risky.
1289
00:52:02,959 --> 00:52:05,667
- Did I tell you about the time
I free climbed Helmet Srag?
1290
00:52:05,792 --> 00:52:07,126
- Yes, you did.
1291
00:52:07,251 --> 00:52:09,251
- What is he doing?
- Ooh.
1292
00:52:09,376 --> 00:52:10,834
- Whoa. Look at that.
- Oh, my God.
1293
00:52:10,959 --> 00:52:13,876
- You could be nastily
thrown against the rocks.
1294
00:52:14,001 --> 00:52:15,917
- I couldn't do that.
- So, and here we have--
1295
00:52:16,042 --> 00:52:18,501
- Ah, oh, wow.
- Shell fishes.
1296
00:52:18,626 --> 00:52:20,084
- Thank you.
- Rice.
1297
00:52:22,376 --> 00:52:24,417
- That looks so good.
- Thank you.
1298
00:52:24,542 --> 00:52:26,001
- It looks lovely.
- Oh, amazing.
1299
00:52:26,126 --> 00:52:27,792
Now this reminds me of
when the tide goes out.
1300
00:52:27,917 --> 00:52:29,334
- Are we meant to just slurp this
like you would an oyster?
1301
00:52:29,459 --> 00:52:31,167
- I think you do, yeah.
- What did you do?
1302
00:52:31,292 --> 00:52:32,667
- Well, you sort of do that,
you sort of do it like--
1303
00:52:32,792 --> 00:52:34,209
- Yeah, well, I think we do...
- Oh, God.
1304
00:52:34,334 --> 00:52:36,334
- Isn't it like just fresh oyster
that-- that's like with that
1305
00:52:36,584 --> 00:52:37,667
smothered in garlic?
1306
00:52:37,917 --> 00:52:39,167
- That is amazing.
1307
00:52:39,334 --> 00:52:41,001
- That is gorgeous.
- Oh, my God.
1308
00:52:41,667 --> 00:52:43,376
- I might go for a dive later,
if you--
1309
00:52:43,417 --> 00:52:44,709
- Really? Okay.
- Yeah.
1310
00:52:45,084 --> 00:52:47,417
I can't do a backflip like that
but I can swallow dive.
1311
00:52:47,792 --> 00:52:49,167
- What's a swallow dive?
1312
00:52:49,292 --> 00:52:51,542
- Well, you have to put your
arms out like this
1313
00:52:51,667 --> 00:52:53,459
because if you,
if you do this
1314
00:52:53,584 --> 00:52:55,376
if you do it from a great height,
if you do this
1315
00:52:55,501 --> 00:52:57,251
you just go over onto your back,
so you have to
1316
00:52:57,376 --> 00:53:00,084
your center of gravity,
your chest, right, doing this
1317
00:53:00,209 --> 00:53:02,001
and then bring your arms in
at the last minute.
1318
00:53:02,126 --> 00:53:03,292
- Okay.
- Yeah.
1319
00:53:03,917 --> 00:53:06,584
- Hey, Chloe. How you doing?
You alright?
1320
00:53:07,084 --> 00:53:10,459
- I'm good.
- Good, how was school today?
1321
00:53:10,834 --> 00:53:12,709
- Hey, Joe, it's dad.
1322
00:53:13,251 --> 00:53:15,709
- Oh, hi, dad.
I've just been to see granddad.
1323
00:53:15,834 --> 00:53:17,209
- Alright, go on.
1324
00:53:17,417 --> 00:53:19,376
- He's a bit woozy, um
1325
00:53:19,584 --> 00:53:20,959
they've had to run
a few more tests.
1326
00:53:21,292 --> 00:53:23,001
- Are you gonna miss mummy
when she comes out?
1327
00:53:24,209 --> 00:53:25,251
- Yeah.
1328
00:53:25,542 --> 00:53:27,292
- I'm gonna go back in
to see him tonight.
1329
00:53:27,501 --> 00:53:29,501
- Brilliant.
That's good.
1330
00:53:29,626 --> 00:53:31,334
- Yeah.
Mum's gonna drive me.
1331
00:53:31,459 --> 00:53:34,292
- Oh, great, that's fantastic.
How is she?
1332
00:53:34,417 --> 00:53:37,042
- No, she's good, yeah, yeah.
She said to say hello.
1333
00:53:37,167 --> 00:53:40,001
- Okay, well, uh...
Yeah, say hello back to her so...
1334
00:53:40,126 --> 00:53:44,126
And I thank you for, obviously,
uh, stepping into the fray.
1335
00:53:44,251 --> 00:53:46,376
- It'll be fun with granny though,
won't it?
1336
00:53:46,751 --> 00:53:50,751
Yeah, good forehead, darling,
well done. Hello.
1337
00:53:51,417 --> 00:53:53,751
[instrumental piano music]
1338
00:53:53,792 --> 00:53:55,751
??
1339
00:53:58,167 --> 00:53:59,251
[water splashes]
1340
00:54:02,459 --> 00:54:03,667
- Good luck.
1341
00:54:04,667 --> 00:54:06,792
- Oh, Ms. Jones.
1342
00:54:07,042 --> 00:54:09,876
Ms. Jones, you look wonderful
tonight, Ms. Jones.
1343
00:54:10,001 --> 00:54:12,042
- Thank you, as do you.
1344
00:54:12,167 --> 00:54:15,584
- The Himalayas are unmistakable,
Ms. Jones.
1345
00:54:16,001 --> 00:54:17,542
Would you-- would you--
Would you join me, Ms. Jones
1346
00:54:17,667 --> 00:54:18,667
on the terrace for a drink?
Would you?
1347
00:54:18,709 --> 00:54:20,667
- I'm just wondering here
Leonard Cohen's house
1348
00:54:20,792 --> 00:54:22,542
might have been.
He had a house on here.
1349
00:54:22,667 --> 00:54:23,959
Do you think he's got
a blue plaque
1350
00:54:24,084 --> 00:54:25,292
Leonard Cohen lived here?
1351
00:54:25,417 --> 00:54:26,667
- Oh, yes,
I would think so.
1352
00:54:26,792 --> 00:54:29,667
I mean, Lennon and McCartney
had them.
1353
00:54:29,792 --> 00:54:32,126
[instrumental music]
1354
00:54:34,417 --> 00:54:35,459
- Bravo!
1355
00:54:39,792 --> 00:54:42,709
- It's not really high enough
to do a proper swallow dive.
1356
00:54:42,876 --> 00:54:44,501
- No, I think that was perfect.
1357
00:54:44,751 --> 00:54:47,709
- Well, actually it's,
this is a very difficult dive.
1358
00:54:47,959 --> 00:54:50,459
You-- you-- you've gotta
arch your back, you see
1359
00:54:50,584 --> 00:54:52,251
and, uh,
i-- if-- if you don't get
1360
00:54:52,376 --> 00:54:53,792
the right entry,
it's lethal.
1361
00:54:53,917 --> 00:54:54,876
- I know.
1362
00:54:55,917 --> 00:54:58,501
- You know they're gonna
have fireworks later.
1363
00:54:59,001 --> 00:55:01,584
- Ah, how do you know?
- Because I've been here before.
1364
00:55:01,959 --> 00:55:03,542
- Oh, I thought you were being
metaphorical.
1365
00:55:04,167 --> 00:55:05,959
[instrumental piano music]
1366
00:55:06,001 --> 00:55:07,459
??
1367
00:55:07,501 --> 00:55:08,876
[fireworks bursting]
1368
00:55:09,001 --> 00:55:10,876
[crowd cheering]
1369
00:55:33,792 --> 00:55:36,084
[music continues]
1370
00:55:47,001 --> 00:55:48,959
[distant church bell ringing]
1371
00:56:04,251 --> 00:56:06,001
[piano music continues]
1372
00:56:06,042 --> 00:56:08,001
??
1373
00:56:08,876 --> 00:56:10,126
- I have to get the ferry.
1374
00:56:10,459 --> 00:56:11,417
- Okay.
1375
00:56:12,501 --> 00:56:13,542
- Bye.
1376
00:56:14,209 --> 00:56:15,834
- [sighs]
1377
00:56:19,251 --> 00:56:21,001
[Rob singing]
- ? Forever and ever ?
1378
00:56:21,251 --> 00:56:26,834
? Forever and ever
you'll be the one ?
1379
00:56:26,959 --> 00:56:27,876
- Wait, it's a, it's...
1380
00:56:28,001 --> 00:56:29,251
- ? Who shines on... ?
1381
00:56:29,376 --> 00:56:30,917
- It's falsetto, isn't it?
1382
00:56:31,042 --> 00:56:33,084
- It gets to falsetto,
it doesn't start falsetto.
1383
00:56:33,209 --> 00:56:36,792
- It's okay, and it's not, no,
it's not forever, it's, it's...
1384
00:56:36,917 --> 00:56:38,209
? Ever and ever ?
1385
00:56:38,334 --> 00:56:39,584
- Don't start there, Steve.
1386
00:56:39,709 --> 00:56:41,501
As-- as-- as your proctologist
1387
00:56:41,584 --> 00:56:43,501
I would advise you
do not start there.
1388
00:56:43,626 --> 00:56:44,876
- Let's see what happens.
1389
00:56:45,042 --> 00:56:46,709
? Ever and ever ?
1390
00:56:46,834 --> 00:56:50,584
? Forever and ever
you'll be the one ?
1391
00:56:50,709 --> 00:56:53,084
- See, what's happened,
half the audience has left.
1392
00:56:53,209 --> 00:56:54,709
- ? Ever and ever ?
1393
00:56:54,834 --> 00:56:59,084
? Forever and ever
you'll be the one ?
1394
00:56:59,209 --> 00:57:00,459
- Hello viewers.
- Alright, alright.
1395
00:57:00,584 --> 00:57:01,959
? Ever and ever ?
1396
00:57:02,084 --> 00:57:06,542
? Forever and ever
you'll be the one ?
1397
00:57:06,667 --> 00:57:12,834
? Who shines on me
for all eternity ?
1398
00:57:12,959 --> 00:57:14,501
- To be fair, when Denis did it,
he had a very--
1399
00:57:14,626 --> 00:57:16,001
- ? Ever and ever ?
1400
00:57:16,126 --> 00:57:19,917
? Forever and ever
you'll be the one ?
1401
00:57:20,042 --> 00:57:22,084
Use falsetto.
- Are you deliberately
doing it badly?
1402
00:57:22,167 --> 00:57:23,251
- ? Shines on me ?
1403
00:57:23,376 --> 00:57:24,459
- Right, okay, ready?
1404
00:57:24,584 --> 00:57:27,042
- ? For all etern... ?
1405
00:57:27,209 --> 00:57:28,917
That... Yeah, go on.
- Can I have a go?
1406
00:57:30,626 --> 00:57:32,417
? Ever and ever ?
1407
00:57:32,542 --> 00:57:37,167
? Forever and ever
you'll be the one ?
1408
00:57:37,292 --> 00:57:38,376
- But you didn't do that,
you did falsetto.
1409
00:57:38,501 --> 00:57:39,584
- ? That sh-- ?
1410
00:57:39,709 --> 00:57:41,501
- You used falsetto.
- Did I?
1411
00:57:41,626 --> 00:57:45,584
Talk over you doing it
and tell you how to do it? No.
1412
00:57:45,709 --> 00:57:47,167
- No, because you don't know
how to do, 'cause you
1413
00:57:47,292 --> 00:57:48,709
'cause, well, you obviously
don't know how to do it.
1414
00:57:48,834 --> 00:57:50,542
'Cause it's falsetto.
You went into falsetto.
1415
00:57:50,667 --> 00:57:51,584
- ? Ever and ever ?
1416
00:57:51,709 --> 00:57:52,959
Yes, he went into it
1417
00:57:53,084 --> 00:57:54,709
but I haven't reached
that stage yet.
1418
00:57:54,834 --> 00:57:56,334
He didn't start in falsetto,
did he, Steve?
1419
00:57:56,459 --> 00:57:58,667
- No, no.
- Did I start in falsetto?
1420
00:57:58,792 --> 00:57:59,834
- No.
- No, so I was doing
the same as Denis.
1421
00:57:59,959 --> 00:58:01,167
- When you got
to the high notes
1422
00:58:01,292 --> 00:58:02,709
you also remained
out of falsetto
1423
00:58:02,792 --> 00:58:05,084
- Car.
- Out of falsetto you remained.
1424
00:58:05,209 --> 00:58:07,334
- Here we go.
Right. Here we go, here we go.
- Even the high notes.
1425
00:58:07,501 --> 00:58:09,792
- How about you do a sponsored
silence now for charity?
1426
00:58:09,917 --> 00:58:12,126
- Okay, go on.
- Here we go.
1427
00:58:12,251 --> 00:58:14,167
? Ever and ever ?
1428
00:58:14,292 --> 00:58:20,209
? Forever and ever
you'll be the one ?
1429
00:58:20,334 --> 00:58:24,042
? That shines on me ?
1430
00:58:24,167 --> 00:58:28,042
? Like the morning sun ?
1431
00:58:28,167 --> 00:58:32,209
? Ever and ever
and ever and ever ?
1432
00:58:32,334 --> 00:58:36,209
? You'll be be the one ?
1433
00:58:36,334 --> 00:58:41,167
[high pitched singing]
? Who shines on me
like the morning sun ?
1434
00:58:41,292 --> 00:58:44,126
- It's not Castrato.
- Wait, wait, wait.
1435
00:58:44,209 --> 00:58:48,334
? All my life
and now I have been yearning ?
1436
00:58:48,501 --> 00:58:49,959
- Shall I call--
Shall I call an ambulance?
1437
00:58:50,084 --> 00:58:51,376
Shall I call an ambulance?
1438
00:58:51,501 --> 00:58:53,959
? Every day with you ?
1439
00:58:54,084 --> 00:58:59,001
? My heart is churning ?
1440
00:58:59,126 --> 00:59:00,792
[deep pitch singing]
? Forever and ever ?
1441
00:59:00,917 --> 00:59:02,709
- What the hell are you doing?
You're all over the place.
1442
00:59:04,292 --> 00:59:06,501
- You were shocked
by the power of my falsetto.
1443
00:59:10,667 --> 00:59:13,042
[phone line ringing]
1444
00:59:16,251 --> 00:59:18,084
- Hello.
- Hey, hello.
1445
00:59:18,209 --> 00:59:19,876
Are you alright?
- Yeah, very good, thank you.
1446
00:59:20,001 --> 00:59:21,792
- Is everything sorted?
- It is.
1447
00:59:21,917 --> 00:59:23,834
Emma's organized it all.
She says it'll be fine.
1448
00:59:25,501 --> 00:59:27,751
- Hello?
- Hey, Katherine.
1449
00:59:27,876 --> 00:59:31,376
Ah, it's, uh, um, uh, it's Steve.
Um, how are you?
1450
00:59:31,626 --> 00:59:33,709
- Yeah, I'm fine, thank you.
What can I do for you?
1451
00:59:34,042 --> 00:59:36,126
- Yeah, I'm trying to get Joe,
he's not answering his mobile.
1452
00:59:36,251 --> 00:59:39,126
Is-- is he there?
- Ah, yep, yep.
1453
00:59:39,251 --> 00:59:40,167
I'll just get him for you.
- Oh, good.
1454
00:59:40,292 --> 00:59:41,459
- Oh.
1455
00:59:42,126 --> 00:59:44,417
I'm sorry about your dad
by the way.
1456
00:59:44,876 --> 00:59:46,501
- Oh, thank you.
Yeah, yeah.
1457
00:59:46,751 --> 00:59:48,459
- Joe's here.
Have a chat with him.
1458
00:59:48,584 --> 00:59:49,709
Take care, okay, bye.
1459
00:59:49,834 --> 00:59:51,584
- Thanks, love.
- Thanks.
1460
00:59:51,709 --> 00:59:54,292
Hey, dad.
- Hey, how you doing?
1461
00:59:54,751 --> 00:59:56,792
- Yeah, I'm alright, thanks.
How are you?
1462
00:59:56,917 --> 00:59:59,376
- Great, great.
Listen, how's granddad?
1463
00:59:59,501 --> 01:00:00,751
- Oh, he's okay.
1464
01:00:01,001 --> 01:00:02,459
You know,
I mean, same as yesterday.
1465
01:00:02,584 --> 01:00:04,167
He seems,
he seems stable.
1466
01:00:04,459 --> 01:00:06,751
[speaking in foreign language]
1467
01:00:13,084 --> 01:00:14,542
- What's amazing about
the Mani is that
1468
01:00:14,834 --> 01:00:16,167
thousands of years ago
when it was ruled by
1469
01:00:16,292 --> 01:00:18,792
when Sparta was
the most powerful nation state
1470
01:00:18,917 --> 01:00:20,542
in Ancient Greece
1471
01:00:20,667 --> 01:00:24,334
to be part of the ruling council
you had to be over 60 years old.
1472
01:00:24,459 --> 01:00:27,417
- Yes. Yes, yes.
- So, I would be too young to
be part of the government.
1473
01:00:27,542 --> 01:00:30,459
I'd be like some, I'd be like
some young, rapscallion
1474
01:00:30,584 --> 01:00:32,126
the-- the ruling council
will be there in their robes
1475
01:00:32,251 --> 01:00:34,417
the elders, very wise,
and I'd be hanging around
1476
01:00:34,542 --> 01:00:36,251
and they'd be going,
"Get outta here, Steve
1477
01:00:36,376 --> 01:00:38,084
you silly young thing."
1478
01:00:38,209 --> 01:00:41,001
- Would you ever run
for public office?
- No, no.
1479
01:00:41,126 --> 01:00:42,792
- Because you'd be a great orator,
wouldn't you
1480
01:00:42,917 --> 01:00:45,126
with your, with your,
with your skills of speaking.
1481
01:00:45,209 --> 01:00:46,292
- I don't...
1482
01:00:46,417 --> 01:00:48,251
[mumbles]
1483
01:00:48,709 --> 01:00:50,792
- Are you worried they'd-- they'd
be digging through your past?
1484
01:00:50,959 --> 01:00:52,834
- No, I don't, I'm not bothered,
I'm not worried about that.
1485
01:00:52,959 --> 01:00:54,751
- Because that's a pro--
That's a pro nowadays.
1486
01:00:54,876 --> 01:00:57,709
I mean, look at,
look at some of these people.
1487
01:00:57,834 --> 01:00:59,126
Look at your Trumps
and your Johnsons.
1488
01:00:59,251 --> 01:01:00,876
- Yeah.
- They've all done stuff.
1489
01:01:01,001 --> 01:01:02,501
- Yeah, well, you know, I mean...
- Not at your level but--
1490
01:01:02,626 --> 01:01:05,501
- The one's, if you think
if you think about Heracles
1491
01:01:06,042 --> 01:01:07,209
he was someone who--
1492
01:01:07,334 --> 01:01:09,001
- Heracles?
Don't you mean Hercules?
1493
01:01:09,126 --> 01:01:10,709
- Ah, if you're,
if you're using
1494
01:01:10,834 --> 01:01:12,042
the Roman name,
then yes, it would be Hercules.
1495
01:01:12,167 --> 01:01:13,751
- I only know him from the film.
- Okay.
1496
01:01:13,876 --> 01:01:17,459
Well, Heracles is the
Greek name for him
1497
01:01:17,584 --> 01:01:19,376
he murdered his wife
and children--
1498
01:01:19,501 --> 01:01:21,959
- Arnold Schwarzenegger
played him, in the movie.
1499
01:01:22,084 --> 01:01:24,334
- Okay, the labors of Hercules,
if you like.
1500
01:01:24,417 --> 01:01:27,042
- "Hercules In New York."
- Was, if you--
1501
01:01:27,167 --> 01:01:29,001
- One of my first movies.
- Thank you.
1502
01:01:29,126 --> 01:01:31,209
From a Christian perspective
1503
01:01:31,334 --> 01:01:33,251
is basically,
him serving his penance.
1504
01:01:33,417 --> 01:01:36,042
Can't even imagine Christianity
forgiving a man
1505
01:01:36,167 --> 01:01:37,501
for murdering his wife
and children, you've got--
1506
01:01:37,626 --> 01:01:39,126
- Quite right, too.
1507
01:01:39,251 --> 01:01:40,792
Mr. Coogan,
are you suggesting that
1508
01:01:40,917 --> 01:01:43,167
that the man standing
before us today
1509
01:01:43,292 --> 01:01:44,584
who murdered his wife
and children
1510
01:01:44,709 --> 01:01:46,251
should be,
should be forgiven?
1511
01:01:46,376 --> 01:01:50,417
Hercules, Arnold played him in,
"Hercules In New York."
1512
01:01:50,542 --> 01:01:53,334
- "Hercules In New York."
- It was one of my first films.
1513
01:01:53,459 --> 01:01:55,626
- "One of my first."
You sound a bit like, uh,
1514
01:01:55,667 --> 01:01:57,042
Werner Herzog there.
1515
01:01:57,084 --> 01:01:58,834
- That's right. That's who I was
doing. I was doing Werner.
1516
01:01:58,959 --> 01:02:03,626
- It was one of my first films.
It very hard to do.
1517
01:02:03,751 --> 01:02:05,667
I had to get
Arnold Schwarzenegger
1518
01:02:05,751 --> 01:02:07,167
to do it for me.
1519
01:02:07,292 --> 01:02:11,126
- My name is Georgia,
everybody calls me George.
1520
01:02:11,834 --> 01:02:13,126
[scatting]
1521
01:02:15,001 --> 01:02:17,126
- Anyway, um--
- Remember that?
1522
01:02:17,251 --> 01:02:18,417
- Sir.
- Oh.
1523
01:02:18,542 --> 01:02:20,876
- We are going to start
with one salad.
1524
01:02:21,001 --> 01:02:22,376
- Good idea.
- Thank you.
1525
01:02:22,501 --> 01:02:23,459
- Thank you.
- Oh, this...
1526
01:02:23,584 --> 01:02:24,917
- Yeah, perfect.
1527
01:02:25,042 --> 01:02:27,042
Make some space
and put it into the middle.
1528
01:02:27,167 --> 01:02:29,292
- Mm-hmm.
- Thank you.
1529
01:02:29,417 --> 01:02:30,751
One melitzana dip.
1530
01:02:30,876 --> 01:02:32,167
And just one moment
for the bread please.
1531
01:02:32,292 --> 01:02:33,417
- Okay.
- Thank you.
1532
01:02:33,542 --> 01:02:35,084
- Already enjoy.
- Thank you.
1533
01:02:35,376 --> 01:02:36,626
- She's charming.
- Did you hear that?
1534
01:02:36,751 --> 01:02:38,251
- Charming little thing.
- Already enjoy.
1535
01:02:38,376 --> 01:02:40,251
- What a lovely slogan.
- It is a lovely, yes, it is.
1536
01:02:40,376 --> 01:02:42,167
- I'd like to have that
on a T-shirt.
1537
01:02:43,167 --> 01:02:44,667
Already enjoy.
- Yeah.
1538
01:02:44,751 --> 01:02:46,751
Well, you're a bit old
for T-shirts with slogans on
1539
01:02:46,876 --> 01:02:48,001
if you don't mind me saying.
1540
01:02:48,292 --> 01:02:50,251
- Sir. Some bread.
- Thank you very much.
1541
01:02:50,376 --> 01:02:52,042
My friend was just saying,
what a lovely thing to say
1542
01:02:52,167 --> 01:02:53,626
"Already enjoy."
1543
01:02:53,751 --> 01:02:55,709
- Now you can enjoy
completely.
1544
01:02:55,876 --> 01:02:57,167
- Imagine it on a T-shirt.
1545
01:02:57,292 --> 01:02:59,042
- Yes. It would be nice.
- Yes?
1546
01:02:59,167 --> 01:03:01,751
- He's too old to have T-shirts
with logos on.
1547
01:03:01,876 --> 01:03:03,667
- You're never too old for this.
1548
01:03:03,792 --> 01:03:05,959
- No, I think, yeah.
That's a nice thing to say.
1549
01:03:06,084 --> 01:03:08,876
- Just to be clear,
"No, you're never too old."
1550
01:03:09,001 --> 01:03:10,459
- I know.
- Thank you very much.
1551
01:03:10,584 --> 01:03:12,792
Thank you very much.
Already enjoying, thank you.
1552
01:03:12,917 --> 01:03:15,792
- Yeah.
- She was very, she was
unequivocal there, not too old.
1553
01:03:15,917 --> 01:03:18,126
- She, well, what's she gonna say?
Yeah you're right, he's past it.
1554
01:03:18,251 --> 01:03:19,959
- Well, she could have agreed
with you, if you're
1555
01:03:20,084 --> 01:03:21,376
if you're as persuasive
as you think you are.
1556
01:03:21,501 --> 01:03:23,459
- She was being politically adept
1557
01:03:23,584 --> 01:03:25,042
and that's the best thing
to say about it.
1558
01:03:25,167 --> 01:03:26,501
- Just to be clear,
are you saying that you could
1559
01:03:26,584 --> 01:03:28,584
wear a T-shirt
with a slogan on it?
1560
01:03:28,709 --> 01:03:30,751
- Um, I think, I thi...
- You think your four months--
1561
01:03:30,876 --> 01:03:33,126
- It's nothing to do,
it's nothing to do with age
1562
01:03:33,251 --> 01:03:36,667
it's to do with how you look,
and that's the brutal truth is
1563
01:03:36,834 --> 01:03:39,501
yes, I think
I am more likely to get away
1564
01:03:39,626 --> 01:03:41,667
with a T-shirt
with a logo on it than you are.
1565
01:03:41,792 --> 01:03:43,834
Not by much
but just more likely.
1566
01:03:43,959 --> 01:03:44,917
Yeah.
1567
01:03:46,334 --> 01:03:48,292
- Anyway, already enjoy.
1568
01:03:49,917 --> 01:03:50,834
Yeah?
- Mm-hmm.
1569
01:03:50,959 --> 01:03:53,376
[speaking in foreign language]
1570
01:03:56,667 --> 01:03:58,292
You know, the,
the Ancient Greeks recognized
1571
01:03:58,542 --> 01:04:00,709
that people were a combination
of good and bad.
1572
01:04:00,834 --> 01:04:03,376
There's not this,
this social media idea
1573
01:04:03,501 --> 01:04:05,167
of demonizing people
completely.
1574
01:04:05,292 --> 01:04:09,626
They're either persona non grata
or they're heroic is nonsense.
1575
01:04:09,709 --> 01:04:12,584
Their Gods, you know,
were complex people
1576
01:04:12,709 --> 01:04:15,334
and, um, it's interesting
because this
1577
01:04:15,459 --> 01:04:20,042
this is a good example of it,
this review of Stan and Ollie...
1578
01:04:20,209 --> 01:04:23,501
- Wait. Review of Stan and Ollie?
Is a good example of what?
1579
01:04:23,626 --> 01:04:26,167
- Ah, of...
- You're tying this
into Greek mythology?
1580
01:04:26,292 --> 01:04:27,626
- Yes.
1581
01:04:27,751 --> 01:04:29,042
Um, the review
of Stan and Ollie
1582
01:04:29,167 --> 01:04:30,334
in the Spectator says
1583
01:04:30,459 --> 01:04:31,709
"It's a good job Steve Coogan
1584
01:04:31,834 --> 01:04:33,542
"is a brilliant actor.
1585
01:04:33,667 --> 01:04:35,751
"He conveys Stan's
likability so well
1586
01:04:35,876 --> 01:04:37,626
"that for 97 minutes
you forget
1587
01:04:37,751 --> 01:04:40,709
what a self-regarding ass
Coogan himself is in real life."
1588
01:04:40,834 --> 01:04:46,917
Now, my takeaway from that is
he thinks I'm a brilliant actor.
1589
01:04:47,001 --> 01:04:48,084
- That's what
you take away from it?
- Yeah.
1590
01:04:48,209 --> 01:04:50,001
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Yeah.
1591
01:04:50,126 --> 01:04:52,417
[speaking in foreign language]
1592
01:05:00,084 --> 01:05:02,001
- That was a lovely,
it was just, eh...
1593
01:05:02,251 --> 01:05:04,126
It wasn't too much.
- Did you like it?
1594
01:05:04,251 --> 01:05:05,834
- We loved it.
- Wonderful, yeah, lovely.
1595
01:05:05,959 --> 01:05:07,376
Really, just fresh.
- Thank you.
1596
01:05:07,501 --> 01:05:09,292
- Thank you very much.
- Thank you very much.
1597
01:05:09,417 --> 01:05:11,917
Do you want to continue?
- I think so.
1598
01:05:12,042 --> 01:05:13,334
- Yeah?
- I think so, yeah.
1599
01:05:13,459 --> 01:05:15,751
Is there,
is there an option not to?
1600
01:05:16,209 --> 01:05:17,167
No, we'll continue, yeah.
- It's your choice.
1601
01:05:17,292 --> 01:05:19,167
- No, we'll continue,
yeah, yeah.
1602
01:05:19,292 --> 01:05:21,167
[chuckles]
Never been asked that before.
1603
01:05:21,292 --> 01:05:22,459
- Yeah, well,
it's a good question.
1604
01:05:22,584 --> 01:05:24,376
- Yeah.
- At our age.
1605
01:05:24,501 --> 01:05:25,667
- Thank you.
1606
01:05:26,792 --> 01:05:28,709
- That's a German accent,
isn't it? She's got.
1607
01:05:28,834 --> 01:05:30,042
Think she's German?
She's not Greek.
1608
01:05:30,167 --> 01:05:31,626
"Do you want to continue?"
1609
01:05:31,751 --> 01:05:34,501
- She could have been asking us
about our lives.
1610
01:05:34,626 --> 01:05:35,917
"Do you want to continue?"
1611
01:05:36,042 --> 01:05:37,834
- What, she's seen our age
and gone
1612
01:05:37,959 --> 01:05:39,876
"Do you want to continue
or would you prefer
1613
01:05:40,042 --> 01:05:42,334
I administer the drug now?"
1614
01:05:42,459 --> 01:05:44,167
- Well, don't, she...
Not all Germans are Nazis.
1615
01:05:44,292 --> 01:05:45,584
- I'm not saying she's a Nazi.
1616
01:05:45,709 --> 01:05:47,251
I'm saying she's in
some lovely clinic
1617
01:05:47,376 --> 01:05:48,917
where we go in Switzerland.
1618
01:05:49,042 --> 01:05:52,001
- Yeah, I know what you were
driving at, are you? Okay.
1619
01:05:52,126 --> 01:05:54,417
- I'm not saying
she's the occupying force
1620
01:05:54,542 --> 01:05:56,751
I'm saying she's in a clinic
and she's saying
1621
01:05:56,876 --> 01:05:58,876
"Do you want to continue?
Or would you like--"
1622
01:05:59,001 --> 01:06:00,376
- Don't mention the war.
1623
01:06:00,501 --> 01:06:02,001
- [laughing]
1624
01:06:02,126 --> 01:06:04,084
I'm not, but seriously.
- Yeah, she's lov--
1625
01:06:04,209 --> 01:06:06,209
I like, I like a foreign accent
on a, on a woman.
1626
01:06:06,334 --> 01:06:08,709
- You like women.
- Mr. Bond.
1627
01:06:08,792 --> 01:06:11,042
You know, it's like you,
"Oh, where's she from?"
1628
01:06:11,167 --> 01:06:12,334
- Oh, one of th--
1629
01:06:12,459 --> 01:06:14,626
- So, we continue with risotto.
1630
01:06:14,751 --> 01:06:15,876
- Thank you.
- One for you.
1631
01:06:16,001 --> 01:06:18,042
- Oh, look at that.
- Oh, wow, wow.
1632
01:06:18,167 --> 01:06:19,626
- Nice and soft for Steve.
Thank you.
1633
01:06:19,792 --> 01:06:21,209
- And one for you.
- There we are.
1634
01:06:21,334 --> 01:06:22,251
- Enjoy it.
1635
01:06:23,501 --> 01:06:24,834
[speaking in foreign language]
1636
01:06:30,417 --> 01:06:33,042
- Oh, boy.
Look at that, Rob.
1637
01:06:35,542 --> 01:06:36,876
- Three sirens?
1638
01:06:37,334 --> 01:06:38,667
Yeah?
On the rocks.
1639
01:06:38,792 --> 01:06:41,417
- Yeah, yeah.
Ugh. Luring me.
1640
01:06:41,542 --> 01:06:43,334
- Well, Odysseus strapped himself
to the mast
1641
01:06:43,459 --> 01:06:45,876
so he wouldn't be tempted by
that sort of a hussy.
1642
01:06:46,001 --> 01:06:47,584
- Mm, yeah.
- That's what you need,
isn't it?
1643
01:06:47,667 --> 01:06:49,126
You've needed that in your life,
I think.
1644
01:06:49,251 --> 01:06:51,042
Someone to strap you
to the mast
1645
01:06:51,167 --> 01:06:52,542
to stop you doing mischief.
1646
01:06:53,084 --> 01:06:54,751
- The other sailors put bungs
in their ears
1647
01:06:55,126 --> 01:06:57,334
so they wouldn't hear
the sirens' song.
1648
01:06:57,459 --> 01:06:59,667
He wants to hear it,
but he didn't want to be lured.
1649
01:06:59,792 --> 01:07:02,376
So, he wants to check,
check out the sirens--
1650
01:07:02,542 --> 01:07:04,251
- Couldn't be more like you.
Couldn't be more like you.
1651
01:07:04,376 --> 01:07:07,292
You want, you want to
experience it up to a point.
1652
01:07:07,417 --> 01:07:09,917
- But halfway through,
he begs them to untie him
1653
01:07:10,042 --> 01:07:13,209
so that he could go and
consummate or, uh, you know...
1654
01:07:13,334 --> 01:07:15,001
- If I had strapped you
to the mast
1655
01:07:15,126 --> 01:07:17,334
I would stick with the agreement.
I wouldn't untie you.
1656
01:07:17,459 --> 01:07:19,084
And I'd take
some pleasure in it.
1657
01:07:19,209 --> 01:07:21,917
I'd have a little cotton things
in my ears, right?
1658
01:07:22,042 --> 01:07:23,459
You'd be on the mast
and you'd go
1659
01:07:23,584 --> 01:07:25,959
"Oh, Rob, Rob, Rob,
I-- I regret my decision
1660
01:07:26,084 --> 01:07:27,626
please untie me,
the Sirens--"
1661
01:07:27,751 --> 01:07:29,626
- I wouldn't, why would it be
in a Mancunian accent?
1662
01:07:29,709 --> 01:07:31,251
- Hm?
- Why would I be...
1663
01:07:31,376 --> 01:07:32,917
If I was playing Odysseus...
- You're not playing.
1664
01:07:33,042 --> 01:07:34,334
No, I'm not saying you're
playing Odysseus
1665
01:07:34,459 --> 01:07:36,292
I'm saying you are you,
and I am me.
1666
01:07:36,417 --> 01:07:39,126
- I'd be going, "Let me go!"
- And I'd say, "I'm sorry."
1667
01:07:39,251 --> 01:07:42,709
- Let me swim to the Sirens.
I demand it!
1668
01:07:42,876 --> 01:07:44,542
- You'd have your hands would be
by your side, wouldn't you?
1669
01:07:44,667 --> 01:07:47,709
You'd be stuck there,
wouldn't you? Yeah. Okay.
1670
01:07:47,834 --> 01:07:49,626
- Let me swim to the Sirens.
1671
01:07:49,751 --> 01:07:51,542
- I'm sorry, Steve, um,
I've got--
1672
01:07:51,667 --> 01:07:53,292
- I demand it!
1673
01:07:53,417 --> 01:07:55,001
- Steve,
do you recognize this?
1674
01:07:55,126 --> 01:07:57,834
- My name is Odysseus.
Not Steve.
1675
01:07:57,959 --> 01:07:59,876
Who is this Steve
you speak of?
1676
01:08:00,001 --> 01:08:02,042
- He's a conceited ass
that I know from Manchester.
1677
01:08:02,167 --> 01:08:05,334
- Well, I know not of him,
but I have heard of his talent.
1678
01:08:05,459 --> 01:08:07,751
I believe he's won
seven BAFTAs.
1679
01:08:07,876 --> 01:08:09,459
- Seven BAFTAs?
- Yes.
1680
01:08:09,542 --> 01:08:11,792
- What is a BAFTA
that you speak of?
1681
01:08:11,917 --> 01:08:13,751
[speaking in foreign language]
1682
01:08:16,542 --> 01:08:18,084
[bell rings]
- Service.
1683
01:08:20,167 --> 01:08:22,959
- Spartan women
had a reputation
1684
01:08:23,126 --> 01:08:25,126
for being the most beautiful
women in the world.
1685
01:08:25,251 --> 01:08:27,417
- Yet, the men were gay.
Go figure.
1686
01:08:27,542 --> 01:08:29,001
- Hello.
- Hi.
1687
01:08:29,126 --> 01:08:30,959
- So I have some fish for you.
1688
01:08:32,292 --> 01:08:33,126
- Thank you.
1689
01:08:33,459 --> 01:08:35,042
- And one for you.
It's Grouper.
1690
01:08:35,292 --> 01:08:36,251
- Thank you.
1691
01:08:37,167 --> 01:08:38,667
- Enjoy it.
- Thank you very much.
1692
01:08:39,001 --> 01:08:40,292
- Thank you.
1693
01:08:42,376 --> 01:08:43,292
[Steve sighs]
1694
01:08:43,417 --> 01:08:45,459
- That's lovely,
that's lovely.
1695
01:08:45,584 --> 01:08:47,251
Make sure you mop up
a lot of that sauce.
1696
01:08:47,376 --> 01:08:50,876
- Oh, yes.
- After lunch, we'll go
and see the caves.
1697
01:08:50,959 --> 01:08:52,959
- Why?
- It's the Observer's idea.
1698
01:08:53,084 --> 01:08:55,792
The Greeks,
as I'm sure you know
1699
01:08:55,917 --> 01:08:57,626
believed that in this area
1700
01:08:57,751 --> 01:09:00,251
caves were entrances
to the underworld
1701
01:09:00,376 --> 01:09:01,959
and I thought
we could tie that in
1702
01:09:02,084 --> 01:09:06,001
and also I could mention you
as Hades...
1703
01:09:06,459 --> 01:09:08,876
...flog a few, um,
Percy Jackson DVDs.
1704
01:09:10,667 --> 01:09:12,501
- Is everything fine?
- Mm, wonderful.
1705
01:09:12,626 --> 01:09:13,542
- Lovely, yeah.
- Yeah.
1706
01:09:13,667 --> 01:09:14,834
- Gorgeous.
1707
01:09:15,751 --> 01:09:17,626
- Beautiful bay.
- It's very nice.
1708
01:09:17,876 --> 01:09:20,251
We have tomorrow
a swim race.
1709
01:09:20,376 --> 01:09:21,959
It's called Ocean Man.
1710
01:09:22,084 --> 01:09:25,042
They start from the pier,
right there.
1711
01:09:25,167 --> 01:09:26,667
- Can you see it?
- Yeah.
1712
01:09:26,792 --> 01:09:29,667
- They will start there and swim
into this direction
1713
01:09:29,751 --> 01:09:32,459
to Neo Itilo,
to the beach Sepa.
1714
01:09:33,001 --> 01:09:34,667
- Alright.
- It's international.
1715
01:09:34,792 --> 01:09:36,834
People all around the world
are coming here.
- Wow.
1716
01:09:36,959 --> 01:09:38,417
- Maybe you will see it.
1717
01:09:38,542 --> 01:09:39,834
- I would love to,
I would love to stay for that.
1718
01:09:39,959 --> 01:09:41,251
That sounds amazing.
But, uh--
1719
01:09:41,376 --> 01:09:42,667
- We cannot stay,
we have to leave.
1720
01:09:42,792 --> 01:09:44,376
But, uh, it sounds lovely.
1721
01:09:44,501 --> 01:09:45,959
- I'd like to join the race,
I'd like to,
1722
01:09:46,126 --> 01:09:47,751
I'd like to join in,
I think.
1723
01:09:47,876 --> 01:09:48,792
- Maybe you can do.
1724
01:09:48,917 --> 01:09:50,209
- Yeah, I think so.
1725
01:09:50,751 --> 01:09:52,542
- No?
- I don't so.
1726
01:09:52,667 --> 01:09:54,667
- Maybe.
- He's joking with you.
1727
01:09:54,792 --> 01:09:56,209
He's joking with you.
- I'm not, I'm not joke...
1728
01:09:56,334 --> 01:09:58,792
I-- I'm, I'm in pretty good
shape for my age.
1729
01:09:58,917 --> 01:10:01,667
- We will see.
- We will see. We will see.
1730
01:10:02,292 --> 01:10:03,417
- Thank you.
1731
01:10:04,834 --> 01:10:06,584
- Pity.
I'd like to do that.
1732
01:10:06,709 --> 01:10:09,084
I'd like to join in the race,
join in the...
1733
01:10:09,209 --> 01:10:10,792
Not competitively,
just, but, uh...
1734
01:10:10,876 --> 01:10:12,376
- That's a long way,
look at it.
1735
01:10:12,501 --> 01:10:13,876
- I have got very good stamina.
1736
01:10:14,001 --> 01:10:16,292
- Neither you,
nor I could do that.
1737
01:10:16,667 --> 01:10:18,876
- I could certainly, I could beat
you in a race, I reckon.
1738
01:10:21,334 --> 01:10:22,959
- Well, I don't think you could
1739
01:10:23,209 --> 01:10:26,042
and we don't have time,
so, it's academic.
1740
01:10:26,209 --> 01:10:27,501
- Oh, that's convenient.
1741
01:10:29,001 --> 01:10:30,792
- Okay, go to the caves
and then we have a race.
1742
01:10:31,042 --> 01:10:32,251
- Great. Brilliant.
1743
01:10:32,376 --> 01:10:33,584
- You sure?
- Yeah.
1744
01:10:33,876 --> 01:10:35,834
[both scatting]
1745
01:10:50,292 --> 01:10:53,376
- The Swingle Singers
live at Cheddar Gorge.
1746
01:10:53,584 --> 01:10:57,626
- This is more really suited
to sort of Gregorian chant
1747
01:10:57,751 --> 01:10:59,876
it being like a sort of
Cathedral of sound.
1748
01:11:00,001 --> 01:11:01,709
- I love Greg.
- Ahh...
1749
01:11:01,834 --> 01:11:03,001
Wait, what?
- I love Greg.
1750
01:11:03,126 --> 01:11:04,334
- Greg who?
- Gregorian.
1751
01:11:04,459 --> 01:11:06,792
- Oh, Gregorian chant, yeah.
Very good.
1752
01:11:06,959 --> 01:11:08,792
- Well, I don't mind
whether Greg or Ian chant.
1753
01:11:08,917 --> 01:11:11,334
I mean they're both good.
- [laughing]
1754
01:11:11,459 --> 01:11:13,751
- Would you rather, Ian?
Ian, you sit this one out.
1755
01:11:13,876 --> 01:11:14,917
Greg's gonna do it.
1756
01:11:14,959 --> 01:11:16,751
[both vocalizing]
1757
01:11:31,667 --> 01:11:33,667
[instrumental music]
??
1758
01:11:34,042 --> 01:11:35,667
- You girls,
w-- why don't you shout
1759
01:11:35,917 --> 01:11:37,042
why don't you say, "Go?"
1760
01:11:37,167 --> 01:11:38,834
Yeah, say,
"Three, two, one, go."
1761
01:11:39,542 --> 01:11:40,584
- Yeah, sure.
1762
01:11:40,876 --> 01:11:42,751
- Alright, don't--
Don't push me.
1763
01:11:42,876 --> 01:11:45,292
- Ready? Steady? Go!
1764
01:11:52,251 --> 01:11:54,209
[indistinct chatter]
1765
01:12:01,834 --> 01:12:04,001
[instrumental orchestral music]
1766
01:12:04,042 --> 01:12:05,459
??
1767
01:12:33,167 --> 01:12:35,126
[music continues]
1768
01:12:43,209 --> 01:12:45,167
- Alright, okay, you win.
1769
01:12:45,292 --> 01:12:46,417
I've... It's my shoulder.
1770
01:12:46,542 --> 01:12:47,876
- Come on, yes!
1771
01:12:48,709 --> 01:12:49,584
Yes!
1772
01:12:56,042 --> 01:12:58,001
[water dripping]
1773
01:13:08,667 --> 01:13:10,751
- Yes, wh... Yes.
1774
01:13:13,251 --> 01:13:14,542
Journey.
1775
01:13:20,376 --> 01:13:22,667
[dramatic music]
??
1776
01:13:22,792 --> 01:13:24,501
[crows cawing]
1777
01:13:36,292 --> 01:13:37,584
Dad?!
1778
01:13:40,959 --> 01:13:42,001
Dad!
1779
01:13:48,334 --> 01:13:49,376
Journey.
1780
01:13:50,501 --> 01:13:52,459
[music continues]
??
1781
01:13:54,042 --> 01:13:55,876
- I knew your devotion
would prevail
1782
01:13:56,126 --> 01:13:57,792
over all the rigor
of the journey
1783
01:13:57,917 --> 01:13:59,334
and bring you
to your father.
1784
01:14:01,209 --> 01:14:04,126
Am I to be allowed to look upon
your face, my son?
1785
01:14:05,542 --> 01:14:07,334
To hear the voice
I know so well
1786
01:14:07,584 --> 01:14:09,376
and answer it with my own.
1787
01:14:10,667 --> 01:14:13,251
I know how many lands
you've travelled
1788
01:14:13,626 --> 01:14:16,542
and how many seas you've sailed
to get to me here.
1789
01:14:17,876 --> 01:14:19,626
- Give me your hand.
1790
01:14:32,501 --> 01:14:33,709
[sighs]
1791
01:14:33,834 --> 01:14:35,626
[birds chirping]
1792
01:14:42,042 --> 01:14:43,084
- Steve.
1793
01:14:45,084 --> 01:14:46,667
What are you doing?
1794
01:14:47,001 --> 01:14:48,126
- Having a swim.
1795
01:14:48,251 --> 01:14:49,584
- We're supposed to go.
1796
01:14:49,709 --> 01:14:50,917
- What?
1797
01:14:51,042 --> 01:14:52,459
- We're supposed to go.
1798
01:14:54,834 --> 01:14:57,751
Gonna be going near Olympia.
Why don't we stop there?
1799
01:14:57,876 --> 01:14:59,334
- It's gonna be full of tourists,
1800
01:14:59,459 --> 01:15:02,334
American tourists
piling out of coaches.
1801
01:15:02,584 --> 01:15:06,292
- The Olympic Games were held
every four years
1802
01:15:06,417 --> 01:15:08,251
throughout Classical Antiquity.
1803
01:15:08,376 --> 01:15:11,751
The site is a major tourist
attraction
1804
01:15:11,876 --> 01:15:13,251
and has two museums
1805
01:15:13,417 --> 01:15:17,084
one devoted to the ancient
and modern games.
1806
01:15:17,209 --> 01:15:18,126
- We're not going there.
1807
01:15:18,251 --> 01:15:20,667
We're going to Hellos
1808
01:15:20,792 --> 01:15:22,167
uh, home of King Nester.
1809
01:15:24,792 --> 01:15:26,542
- [humming "Vangelis"]
1810
01:15:43,084 --> 01:15:44,459
Vangelis, Greek.
1811
01:15:44,584 --> 01:15:46,709
[scatting]
1812
01:15:46,834 --> 01:15:48,292
- You're doing it
like a horn though.
1813
01:15:48,417 --> 01:15:50,209
It was a piano.
1814
01:15:50,626 --> 01:15:53,001
[imitating a piano]
1815
01:15:53,126 --> 01:15:54,542
- Oh, sorry, glang
is the word for piano?
1816
01:15:54,709 --> 01:15:56,376
- [imitating a piano]
1817
01:16:01,626 --> 01:16:03,084
- I'll be the percussion.
1818
01:16:03,876 --> 01:16:04,917
[scatting]
1819
01:16:18,501 --> 01:16:19,626
- Yeah.
1820
01:16:19,751 --> 01:16:21,084
Yeah, hate that.
Hate that film.
1821
01:16:21,876 --> 01:16:25,959
Some posh students from Oxford
learned to run really quickly.
1822
01:16:26,084 --> 01:16:27,251
The end.
1823
01:16:28,667 --> 01:16:30,209
- I think there's
a psychological disadvantage
1824
01:16:30,459 --> 01:16:32,959
to sitting in the
passenger seat in a car.
1825
01:16:33,459 --> 01:16:37,584
The driver automatically
assumes higher status.
1826
01:16:37,751 --> 01:16:40,126
- I remember,
as a child there was a chap
1827
01:16:40,251 --> 01:16:42,834
whose wife drove
and he didn't
1828
01:16:42,959 --> 01:16:45,459
and I remember thinking
"Oh, that poor guy."
1829
01:16:45,584 --> 01:16:48,292
And that's to me, I thought it
was completely emasculating
1830
01:16:48,417 --> 01:16:51,917
and, um, that woman divorced
that man that couldn't drive
1831
01:16:52,042 --> 01:16:54,709
and in my head, even though
I was a child, I always thought
1832
01:16:54,792 --> 01:16:56,876
"If he'd learned to drive,
he might still be married."
1833
01:16:57,334 --> 01:17:00,459
- Yeah, the-- the relationship
I was in before Sally
1834
01:17:00,584 --> 01:17:04,876
was a long one, and-- and
when it ended, I was very bereft
1835
01:17:05,001 --> 01:17:06,834
and I went and stayed
with my parents
1836
01:17:06,959 --> 01:17:08,792
and they said, "Well, let's go
for a ride in the car."
1837
01:17:08,917 --> 01:17:12,167
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
- And they drove down
to West Wales.
1838
01:17:12,292 --> 01:17:14,376
But I was sitting in the back.
- Oh, dear.
1839
01:17:14,501 --> 01:17:17,001
- And not only was I now
without my relationship
1840
01:17:17,167 --> 01:17:18,751
I was also a little boy
in the back of the car.
1841
01:17:18,876 --> 01:17:20,667
And at one point,
near Sarmarthen
1842
01:17:20,792 --> 01:17:22,626
I had to say,
"Stop, pull over."
1843
01:17:22,751 --> 01:17:23,959
And I made my mum
get in the back.
1844
01:17:25,501 --> 01:17:28,417
- Look at that
breathtaking view.
1845
01:17:28,542 --> 01:17:31,209
Soastal Pilos presides
over the Southern end
1846
01:17:31,334 --> 01:17:33,042
of an immense bay.
1847
01:17:36,542 --> 01:17:39,542
Was this the palace
of King Nestor, huh?
1848
01:17:39,667 --> 01:17:43,584
- No, no, this is an
old Ottoman fortress
1849
01:17:43,709 --> 01:17:46,292
and from dates, this dates
from the Ottoman Empire.
1850
01:17:46,834 --> 01:17:48,417
- At Ottoman Empire
1851
01:17:48,542 --> 01:17:52,042
there are great savings
on Ottomans of all sizes.
1852
01:17:52,167 --> 01:17:54,126
Open bank holiday Monday.
1853
01:17:54,251 --> 01:17:56,876
Put your feet up
at Ottoman Empire.
1854
01:17:58,376 --> 01:18:02,542
Otterman.
Half-otter, half-man.
1855
01:18:02,667 --> 01:18:05,251
New to the Marvel
comic universe.
1856
01:18:05,376 --> 01:18:07,126
- Half-man, half...
- You could play him.
1857
01:18:07,251 --> 01:18:10,459
- ...half useable foot stool
storage facility.
1858
01:18:10,584 --> 01:18:11,709
- "Have you heard
what Steve's doing?
1859
01:18:11,834 --> 01:18:13,876
Now he's playing Otterman?"
"What?"
1860
01:18:14,001 --> 01:18:15,751
"Yeah, you know,
he thinks it can be good.
1861
01:18:15,834 --> 01:18:17,834
I read the script.
It's awful."
1862
01:18:17,959 --> 01:18:19,792
"And he's gonna do it?
Is he alright?"
1863
01:18:19,917 --> 01:18:23,542
"I don't know.
I'm worried about Steve.
1864
01:18:23,667 --> 01:18:25,584
"He was doing so well
1865
01:18:25,709 --> 01:18:28,251
and then he-- he signed up
for Otterman."
1866
01:18:28,376 --> 01:18:30,709
- Tell me a bit more about,
tell me more about
1867
01:18:30,834 --> 01:18:33,251
uh, Steve Coogan's decision
to play Otterman?
1868
01:18:33,376 --> 01:18:35,876
- Well, this was towards the end
of his life and I think--
1869
01:18:36,001 --> 01:18:37,626
- Is that, well, you-- you,
you said that.
1870
01:18:37,751 --> 01:18:41,001
I-- I want you to talk
more about, his-- his talent.
1871
01:18:41,167 --> 01:18:43,917
- Well, I mean, talent is a very
subjective thing, isn't it?
1872
01:18:43,959 --> 01:18:46,334
I spent a lot of time with him.
- Yeah, but we all know
that he was a great talent
1873
01:18:46,376 --> 01:18:47,834
and what we want to know
was why was he so great
1874
01:18:47,959 --> 01:18:50,167
so please, please,
you know, just expand on that.
1875
01:18:50,292 --> 01:18:52,292
- Well that's still a mystery to me.
I mean, I spent a lot of--
1876
01:18:52,417 --> 01:18:55,459
- Yes, but we-- we-- we know,
we know it's a mystery to you.
1877
01:18:55,584 --> 01:18:57,667
[laughing]
What I want to know is why...
1878
01:18:57,751 --> 01:18:59,751
Can you encapsulate
in an sentence
1879
01:18:59,876 --> 01:19:01,542
the-- the genius
of Steve Coogan?
1880
01:19:01,667 --> 01:19:03,584
- Well, not really, I mean,
I will say I met a lot of people
1881
01:19:03,709 --> 01:19:05,001
over the years
who didn't like him.
1882
01:19:06,667 --> 01:19:08,501
- We've not got much time left.
- No.
1883
01:19:08,834 --> 01:19:10,292
- Are you gonna miss me?
1884
01:19:10,417 --> 01:19:13,584
- Oh, yes, and, and, no.
1885
01:19:13,709 --> 01:19:16,334
- Yes and no.
Bloody hell.
1886
01:19:16,459 --> 01:19:20,751
- Find you very entertaining,
but, uh, you can be exhausting.
1887
01:19:20,917 --> 01:19:23,042
- Exhausting? Me?
1888
01:19:23,167 --> 01:19:25,292
Good God,
you should meet you!
1889
01:19:25,959 --> 01:19:29,501
- I have met me and, uh,
we got on like a house on fire.
1890
01:19:32,459 --> 01:19:35,084
- Is what they're saying
it looked like?
1891
01:19:35,209 --> 01:19:37,084
- That looks like a, sort of...
- Yeah. That's incredible.
1892
01:19:37,167 --> 01:19:41,292
Looks like a halls of residence
in a 1960s British university.
1893
01:19:41,417 --> 01:19:42,959
- Well, yeah,
and what's wrong with that?
- Isn't it?
1894
01:19:43,084 --> 01:19:44,792
That's modernism.
That's Utopian Modernism.
1895
01:19:44,917 --> 01:19:50,084
That is incredible, that's,
that's, that's 1200 B.C. that.
1896
01:19:50,209 --> 01:19:52,459
So that's 800 years
before the Parthenon.
1897
01:19:52,584 --> 01:19:55,209
- On "Grand Designs" imagine
Kevin McCloud going back to...
1898
01:19:55,334 --> 01:19:56,917
- Yeah, and that's why
it's amazing.
1899
01:19:57,042 --> 01:19:58,709
- ...see if they're happy
with their underfloor heating.
1900
01:19:58,834 --> 01:20:00,417
We are beginning to feel
the pinch, Kevin
1901
01:20:00,584 --> 01:20:03,751
but we do, we do want to see it
through because you know...
1902
01:20:03,876 --> 01:20:05,584
Well-- well...
It's our dream house.
1903
01:20:05,709 --> 01:20:07,501
- It's the same amount of time
between that and the Parthenon
1904
01:20:07,626 --> 01:20:09,001
is, is between us
and the building
1905
01:20:09,126 --> 01:20:10,917
of Canterbury Cathedral.
1906
01:20:11,792 --> 01:20:13,376
And as the sun sprang up...
1907
01:20:13,626 --> 01:20:15,084
- Oh, you look very good there.
1908
01:20:15,209 --> 01:20:17,126
- ...leaving the brilliant water
in its wake.
1909
01:20:17,209 --> 01:20:18,501
- You look like
you've come to inspect
1910
01:20:18,626 --> 01:20:20,417
the building regulations.
1911
01:20:20,709 --> 01:20:22,709
- Climbed the bronze dawn
to show light
1912
01:20:23,001 --> 01:20:25,959
onto immortal Gods
and mortal men.
1913
01:20:26,376 --> 01:20:30,334
The ship sailed into Pilos
where people lined the beaches
1914
01:20:30,459 --> 01:20:33,459
sacrificing sleek black bulls
to Poseidon.
1915
01:20:33,584 --> 01:20:35,751
[instrumental orchestral music]
1916
01:20:35,792 --> 01:20:37,751
??
1917
01:20:42,001 --> 01:20:45,876
- Driving quite fast
for a narrow road
1918
01:20:46,001 --> 01:20:47,917
if you don't mind me saying.
1919
01:20:48,042 --> 01:20:50,209
- Thank you.
There's a shortcut.
1920
01:20:51,292 --> 01:20:53,251
- That's not the road though,
is it?
1921
01:20:53,376 --> 01:20:54,834
- No, but it's what--
- This is the road, here.
1922
01:20:57,876 --> 01:20:59,376
Are we allowed to do this?
1923
01:20:59,584 --> 01:21:00,959
- Am I allowed?
- Yeah.
1924
01:21:01,084 --> 01:21:02,251
- I was born allowed, me.
1925
01:21:03,626 --> 01:21:04,959
[instrumental music]
??
1926
01:21:05,084 --> 01:21:06,501
[engine revving]
1927
01:21:10,334 --> 01:21:12,126
Gotta "Top Gear" this, eh?
1928
01:21:12,542 --> 01:21:15,376
- Oh, that is a bit of a ridge here,
wow. Good Lord.
1929
01:21:15,501 --> 01:21:19,667
- Without the, uh, prehistoric
Neanderthal world views.
1930
01:21:34,001 --> 01:21:36,501
[instrumental music]
??
1931
01:21:36,626 --> 01:21:38,251
Well, this is it.
1932
01:21:38,417 --> 01:21:43,626
This is where King Nestor
had a huge feast for Telemachus
1933
01:21:43,751 --> 01:21:45,292
two and a half thousand
years ago.
1934
01:21:45,417 --> 01:21:46,959
- Is that why they call it
ox belly bay
1935
01:21:47,084 --> 01:21:49,042
because of all the bulls
they sacrificed?
1936
01:21:49,167 --> 01:21:50,959
- No, 'cause it's-- it's
the shape of an ox's belly.
1937
01:21:51,084 --> 01:21:53,459
- Yeah, I know.
Right, we've seen it, let's go.
1938
01:21:53,917 --> 01:21:57,084
- See the mouth of the bay there,
I reckon I could swim that.
1939
01:21:57,501 --> 01:21:59,959
- I could swim that, it's hardly
the Hellespont, is it?
1940
01:22:00,084 --> 01:22:02,209
It's not even Asos to Lesbos.
1941
01:22:02,334 --> 01:22:04,501
- I'll race you.
And my shoulder's better now.
1942
01:22:04,667 --> 01:22:05,834
- I'm not ra...
Come on, seriously, let's go.
1943
01:22:05,959 --> 01:22:07,334
Let's go. Come on.
1944
01:22:07,459 --> 01:22:08,584
- Alright.
1945
01:22:08,709 --> 01:22:10,292
[cellphone ringing]
1946
01:22:13,209 --> 01:22:14,542
Hello?
1947
01:22:14,667 --> 01:22:15,667
Hello, Joe.
1948
01:22:15,876 --> 01:22:17,667
- Hey, dad, um...
1949
01:22:18,751 --> 01:22:19,667
- Hey.
1950
01:22:20,876 --> 01:22:22,042
- It's, uh...
1951
01:22:22,959 --> 01:22:24,334
It's granddad.
1952
01:22:25,292 --> 01:22:26,876
- Yeah, what about him?
1953
01:22:28,834 --> 01:22:30,792
- I'm really sorry, he-- he...
1954
01:22:32,876 --> 01:22:35,042
- What?
- I'm really sorry.
1955
01:22:39,251 --> 01:22:40,751
He's died.
1956
01:22:44,084 --> 01:22:45,751
I'm-- I'm sorry, dad.
1957
01:22:51,667 --> 01:22:53,001
- Are you okay?
1958
01:22:54,459 --> 01:22:58,459
- Yeah. Yeah, I'm, I'm fine.
1959
01:22:58,709 --> 01:23:00,042
Are you okay?
1960
01:23:01,251 --> 01:23:03,417
- Yeah. I'm...
1961
01:23:06,834 --> 01:23:08,459
I'll come straight home.
1962
01:23:09,667 --> 01:23:10,834
- Yeah.
1963
01:23:12,292 --> 01:23:13,417
Okay.
1964
01:23:15,292 --> 01:23:18,126
- Alright, I'll, I'll see,
I'll see you soon.
1965
01:23:18,251 --> 01:23:20,292
- Yeah. See you soon.
- Love you.
1966
01:23:20,501 --> 01:23:22,542
- Love you too.
Bye.
1967
01:23:41,376 --> 01:23:43,542
[phone ringing]
1968
01:23:44,209 --> 01:23:45,667
- Hey, Steve.
1969
01:23:45,917 --> 01:23:47,042
- Hey, Emma.
1970
01:23:47,459 --> 01:23:49,459
- I'm so sorry about your dad.
1971
01:23:49,834 --> 01:23:52,334
- Who-- who told you?
- Joe called me.
1972
01:23:52,459 --> 01:23:55,334
Listen, I've checked out all the
flights and the best way home
1973
01:23:55,459 --> 01:23:57,709
is to get on the Ferry
with Rob to Ithaca.
1974
01:23:57,834 --> 01:24:00,334
It stops at Sami
in Kefalonia
1975
01:24:00,459 --> 01:24:01,751
and then you can get
a direct flight
1976
01:24:01,876 --> 01:24:03,792
back to Manchester, okay?
1977
01:24:03,917 --> 01:24:05,251
- Okay, great.
1978
01:24:05,376 --> 01:24:07,126
- Um, Joe said that you're staying
at Katherine's
1979
01:24:07,292 --> 01:24:09,459
and for you to stay there,
is that okay?
1980
01:24:09,584 --> 01:24:11,334
Or would you rather
I book you a hotel?
1981
01:24:11,584 --> 01:24:13,834
- Ah, yeah, if that's what Joe
wants, I'll go straight there.
1982
01:24:14,084 --> 01:24:15,459
- Alright, okay.
1983
01:24:15,501 --> 01:24:18,084
Um, listen,
sending lots of love, okay?
1984
01:24:18,376 --> 01:24:20,292
- Okay, bye-bye.
1985
01:24:20,376 --> 01:24:22,542
- Eighty-two.
- Yeah, we got one only...
1986
01:24:25,334 --> 01:24:27,834
- [shuddering]
1987
01:24:30,792 --> 01:24:32,042
- What's going on?
1988
01:24:34,417 --> 01:24:35,792
- My dad's died.
1989
01:24:38,459 --> 01:24:39,251
- What?
1990
01:24:40,251 --> 01:24:43,542
- Yeah, so, um,
I've gotta fly home.
1991
01:24:48,126 --> 01:24:50,917
- Um, God. I'm sorry.
1992
01:24:51,459 --> 01:24:52,792
I-- I'll drive.
1993
01:24:52,917 --> 01:24:56,167
- No, I-- I wanna drive,
I wanna, to keep busy.
1994
01:25:00,459 --> 01:25:02,167
Look at all these butterflies.
1995
01:25:07,959 --> 01:25:09,876
[engine revving]
1996
01:25:19,042 --> 01:25:21,209
[intense music]
1997
01:25:21,251 --> 01:25:23,209
??
1998
01:25:35,209 --> 01:25:37,376
[instrumental music]
1999
01:25:37,417 --> 01:25:39,376
??
2000
01:25:47,709 --> 01:25:49,584
[foghorn blares]
2001
01:25:52,334 --> 01:25:55,042
[seagulls squawking]
2002
01:26:05,209 --> 01:26:07,376
[music continues]
2003
01:26:07,417 --> 01:26:09,376
??
2004
01:26:35,376 --> 01:26:37,542
[music continues]
2005
01:26:37,584 --> 01:26:39,542
??
2006
01:26:42,792 --> 01:26:44,876
[indistinct chatter]
2007
01:26:49,792 --> 01:26:52,084
[instrumental music]
??
2008
01:27:02,001 --> 01:27:04,709
[singing in foreign language]
2009
01:27:18,751 --> 01:27:19,917
- Sami.
2010
01:27:21,334 --> 01:27:22,917
- It's beautiful, isn't it?
2011
01:27:27,667 --> 01:27:29,084
And that's Ithaca.
2012
01:27:32,501 --> 01:27:34,376
Have to come back
another day.
2013
01:27:34,501 --> 01:27:36,292
- Yeah, we will.
2014
01:27:38,042 --> 01:27:40,376
[singing in foreign language]
2015
01:27:40,501 --> 01:27:42,959
- Ah, I better go
and get the bags.
2016
01:27:49,167 --> 01:27:51,876
Okay, I'll, uh,
give you a call.
2017
01:27:52,001 --> 01:27:54,459
- Be strong. Yeah?
- Yeah, yeah. Thanks.
2018
01:27:58,584 --> 01:28:00,876
[singing in foreign language]
2019
01:28:08,917 --> 01:28:11,084
[music continues]
2020
01:28:11,126 --> 01:28:13,084
??
2021
01:28:16,042 --> 01:28:18,542
[singing in foreign language]
2022
01:28:23,542 --> 01:28:26,084
[door creaking]
2023
01:28:44,959 --> 01:28:48,042
- Gimme a wave!
Gimme a wave!
2024
01:28:48,167 --> 01:28:50,126
[singing in foreign language]
2025
01:28:51,251 --> 01:28:52,709
[car horn honking]
2026
01:28:52,834 --> 01:28:53,917
- Back again.
2027
01:28:56,667 --> 01:28:57,834
- That's me.
2028
01:28:58,876 --> 01:29:00,376
- I'm coming aboard.
2029
01:29:03,292 --> 01:29:05,209
- I don't love your mother!
2030
01:29:06,626 --> 01:29:08,501
[horn blaring]
2031
01:29:17,376 --> 01:29:19,501
- I'm going to the airport,
yeah.
2032
01:29:19,626 --> 01:29:21,251
- Yes, sir.
- How long does it take?
2033
01:29:21,376 --> 01:29:23,084
- Forty-five minutes
approximately.
2034
01:29:26,501 --> 01:29:28,876
[mellow music]
??
2035
01:29:29,959 --> 01:29:31,001
- It's a bit windy.
2036
01:29:32,501 --> 01:29:34,042
- You'll get blown away!
2037
01:29:36,542 --> 01:29:37,876
- Oh, wow.
2038
01:29:38,001 --> 01:29:39,459
- Mm. Mm!
2039
01:29:39,917 --> 01:29:41,792
- Oh, my God!
Ugh.
2040
01:29:41,917 --> 01:29:43,417
- How windy is it?
2041
01:29:43,542 --> 01:29:44,501
- Hi.
2042
01:29:46,542 --> 01:29:48,834
- God, I've missed you.
- I've missed you, too.
2043
01:29:49,084 --> 01:29:51,876
Oh, my Goddess.
How nice to see you.
2044
01:29:58,334 --> 01:29:59,667
So, how's it been?
2045
01:29:59,917 --> 01:30:01,167
- Agh.
2046
01:30:01,292 --> 01:30:02,834
It's, uh, been
a bloody long journey
2047
01:30:02,959 --> 01:30:04,959
- I'll tell you that.
- An odyssey.
2048
01:30:05,167 --> 01:30:07,542
- I didn't know Greece
was so big.
2049
01:30:08,126 --> 01:30:10,459
- But it's over now,
you're home.
2050
01:30:21,834 --> 01:30:23,042
Wow.
2051
01:30:23,167 --> 01:30:25,542
[foghorn blaring]
2052
01:30:27,334 --> 01:30:29,376
[music continues]
2053
01:30:29,417 --> 01:30:31,251
??
2054
01:30:36,959 --> 01:30:38,376
- Nice to be driving the car.
2055
01:30:38,501 --> 01:30:41,667
- Don't you normally?
- No. I do not.
2056
01:30:42,167 --> 01:30:43,167
- He doesn't let you?
2057
01:30:43,292 --> 01:30:45,209
- It's not a question
of letting me drive
2058
01:30:45,334 --> 01:30:47,542
he likes to drive, so I let him.
- He likes the feel of driving?
2059
01:30:47,667 --> 01:30:50,542
- I let him drive.
2060
01:30:51,084 --> 01:30:52,209
- Fair enough.
2061
01:30:53,084 --> 01:30:55,542
- I like to drive.
Ergh, I like to drive.
2062
01:30:55,667 --> 01:30:57,501
I like to be in control.
2063
01:30:57,667 --> 01:31:00,959
You got, you got your hands
at ten-to-two, that's good.
2064
01:31:01,084 --> 01:31:03,459
But, eh, no,
you can follow the line
2065
01:31:03,584 --> 01:31:05,334
the racing line.
2066
01:31:05,876 --> 01:31:09,209
You break into the bend.
Accelerate out.
2067
01:31:09,459 --> 01:31:11,376
- Are you glad I'm here?
'Cause you get to drive?
2068
01:31:11,501 --> 01:31:12,959
- Yeah, 'cause I'm the boss.
2069
01:31:13,084 --> 01:31:14,167
- [chuckling]
2070
01:31:14,209 --> 01:31:18,209
- I am glad you are here
for a multitude of reasons.
2071
01:31:18,334 --> 01:31:21,376
- It's so strange to be
without the kids.
2072
01:31:21,584 --> 01:31:23,292
- Welcome to my world.
It's not, you know...
2073
01:31:23,417 --> 01:31:25,084
- Have you had a hard time?
2074
01:31:25,209 --> 01:31:27,584
- It is hard,
you miss the kids, yes,
2075
01:31:27,626 --> 01:31:30,167
I don't apologize for that.
2076
01:31:30,251 --> 01:31:31,376
- Not all fun and games.
2077
01:31:31,501 --> 01:31:34,876
- No. It's mostly fun
and games.
2078
01:31:39,209 --> 01:31:41,001
- Poor Steve.
2079
01:31:41,126 --> 01:31:42,792
It's awful to lose your dad.
2080
01:31:48,251 --> 01:31:50,209
[car horns sounding]
2081
01:31:53,459 --> 01:31:55,417
It's an amazing natural bay.
2082
01:31:55,542 --> 01:31:57,667
I can see why Odysseus
wanted to get home, can't you?
2083
01:31:57,792 --> 01:31:59,334
- Look at it!
- Yeah.
2084
01:31:59,542 --> 01:32:03,084
- We should come back here
when I'm in my 70s.
2085
01:32:03,209 --> 01:32:05,959
- And I'm in my 60s.
2086
01:32:06,084 --> 01:32:08,751
- I think, in all likelihood,
and please don't take this
2087
01:32:08,876 --> 01:32:11,959
the wrong way, I do think by
then I'll have married again.
2088
01:32:12,084 --> 01:32:14,042
I'll have done a Rod.
- Yeah. Fair enough.
2089
01:32:14,167 --> 01:32:18,209
- And I'll be with a Pilates
instructor in her mid--
2090
01:32:18,251 --> 01:32:19,292
- Very light--
2091
01:32:19,417 --> 01:32:21,084
- Oh, yes, very flexible.
2092
01:32:21,251 --> 01:32:22,959
- Very bendy. Yeah.
- Very broad-minded.
2093
01:32:23,084 --> 01:32:24,751
And, eh,
now you'll have my money.
2094
01:32:24,876 --> 01:32:26,501
- Good, yeah.
- So it's not all--
2095
01:32:26,584 --> 01:32:29,167
- It's not all doom and gloom.
- No, no, no, no, no, no.
2096
01:32:29,292 --> 01:32:31,334
You'll have a nice place
down in Torquay.
2097
01:32:31,459 --> 01:32:33,459
- Or here?
- Well, no, not if I'm coming.
2098
01:32:33,584 --> 01:32:35,376
I wouldn't come here
if you were here, would I?
2099
01:32:37,126 --> 01:32:39,334
I'd want to come
just me and Consuela.
2100
01:32:47,792 --> 01:32:49,376
- Hi, darling.
2101
01:32:49,709 --> 01:32:52,376
- Hi.
- Hello. How are you?
2102
01:32:54,126 --> 01:32:55,376
- Good, how are you?
2103
01:32:55,501 --> 01:32:56,959
- Yeah, we, we're,
we're, we're good.
2104
01:32:57,084 --> 01:32:58,667
- Hi, Chloe.
- Yeah, yeah, we're both here.
2105
01:32:58,792 --> 01:33:00,626
- Mummy's here,
she's arrived.
2106
01:33:04,501 --> 01:33:06,584
[somber music]
2107
01:33:06,626 --> 01:33:08,584
??
2108
01:33:20,042 --> 01:33:23,167
Ah, yes, ah, Penelope
2109
01:33:23,292 --> 01:33:26,459
how wonderful to see you
again in our, gosh,
2110
01:33:26,584 --> 01:33:29,917
crikey, marital bed
after all these years.
2111
01:33:30,334 --> 01:33:32,501
- Penelope's not
a very sexy name, is it?
2112
01:33:33,209 --> 01:33:36,292
- Then I shall call you Penny,
Moneypenny.
2113
01:33:38,751 --> 01:33:40,209
- Is Sally a sexy name?
2114
01:33:40,334 --> 01:33:43,126
- Oh, I'd say so.
I think Sally's very sexy.
2115
01:33:43,292 --> 01:33:47,459
I am sure she's sexy actually,
very, very sexy. Sexy Sally.
2116
01:33:52,667 --> 01:33:54,376
- Thank you.
2117
01:33:54,501 --> 01:33:56,417
- Very difficult
to say you're from Mitcham.
2118
01:33:56,542 --> 01:33:58,834
You're from Mitcham.
No, I'm from Edinburgh.
2119
01:33:58,959 --> 01:34:00,292
Well, you said you
were from Mitcham.
2120
01:34:00,417 --> 01:34:01,667
No, I'm from Edinbur...
Alright, I can see--
2121
01:34:01,792 --> 01:34:03,334
- Do you stop talking?
2122
01:34:03,459 --> 01:34:06,126
- It's, eh, it's time to begin, right.
Oh, goodness me.
2123
01:34:06,251 --> 01:34:08,376
I wondered where
I left my phone.
2124
01:34:08,917 --> 01:34:11,959
When I make love, I make love
for Queen and country
2125
01:34:12,084 --> 01:34:15,959
although I admit, making love
to you would be a pleasure.
2126
01:34:16,542 --> 01:34:18,709
[music continues]
2127
01:34:18,751 --> 01:34:20,709
??
2128
01:34:28,001 --> 01:34:29,251
[doorbell dings]
2129
01:34:35,417 --> 01:34:36,834
[door latch clacks]
2130
01:34:40,876 --> 01:34:41,834
- Hey.
2131
01:34:45,751 --> 01:34:46,751
Are you alright?
2132
01:34:46,876 --> 01:34:48,626
- Yeah. Are you?
2133
01:34:49,834 --> 01:34:50,959
- Yeah.
2134
01:34:54,667 --> 01:34:57,792
Let me take that.
You got here quick.
2135
01:34:57,917 --> 01:34:59,167
- Yeah.
2136
01:34:59,292 --> 01:35:01,209
- Do you want a cup of tea
or anything?
2137
01:35:01,334 --> 01:35:03,292
- Yes, please.
2138
01:35:03,417 --> 01:35:06,001
- Mum says you can have
the spare room.
2139
01:35:06,376 --> 01:35:08,126
- Great. Good.
2140
01:35:08,209 --> 01:35:10,001
Um, I'm sorry I wasn't here.
2141
01:35:11,417 --> 01:35:12,751
- No, it's okay.
2142
01:35:15,334 --> 01:35:16,709
- Were you with him?
2143
01:35:19,709 --> 01:35:22,334
- Yeah.
Yeah, I was.
2144
01:35:30,209 --> 01:35:32,626
[boat engine whirring]
2145
01:35:34,376 --> 01:35:36,542
[somber music]
2146
01:35:36,584 --> 01:35:38,542
??
2147
01:35:52,876 --> 01:35:54,042
- [snores]
2148
01:36:07,959 --> 01:36:10,126
[music continues]
2149
01:36:10,167 --> 01:36:12,126
??
2150
01:36:32,209 --> 01:36:33,334
[utensil clatters]
2151
01:36:41,042 --> 01:36:43,209
[music continues]
2152
01:36:43,251 --> 01:36:45,209
??
2153
01:37:03,501 --> 01:37:04,626
[sighs]
2154
01:37:10,334 --> 01:37:11,709
- Hello, Steve.
2155
01:37:11,834 --> 01:37:13,834
- Oh, hello.
2156
01:37:16,334 --> 01:37:18,626
- Sorry to hear
about your dad.
2157
01:37:18,751 --> 01:37:19,667
- Thank you.
2158
01:37:21,126 --> 01:37:22,251
- You okay?
2159
01:37:22,376 --> 01:37:24,792
- Yeah, I'm fine.
2160
01:37:25,334 --> 01:37:28,042
Yeah. It's strange being back
here after all these years.
2161
01:37:28,167 --> 01:37:29,417
- Yeah, that it is.
2162
01:37:31,001 --> 01:37:32,626
- How are you?
2163
01:37:32,876 --> 01:37:35,209
- I'm good.
Yeah.
2164
01:37:35,626 --> 01:37:37,251
Yeah, I'm good.
Thank you.
2165
01:37:37,376 --> 01:37:40,292
- Hey. It's...
It's time to go see granddad.
2166
01:37:40,417 --> 01:37:41,876
They'll take us.
2167
01:37:43,417 --> 01:37:45,626
- Do you want me
to come with you?
2168
01:37:45,751 --> 01:37:48,542
- Um, no, I'll be fine.
2169
01:37:49,126 --> 01:37:51,001
- You'll stay here till
the funeral, won't you?
2170
01:37:52,667 --> 01:37:54,126
- Oh, thank, yes,
thank you.
2171
01:37:54,251 --> 01:37:56,417
[mellow music]
2172
01:37:56,459 --> 01:37:58,417
??
2173
01:38:12,334 --> 01:38:13,626
- Quite shallow here.
2174
01:38:14,792 --> 01:38:16,292
Ah...
2175
01:38:16,417 --> 01:38:18,376
Oh, it's very, argh.
2176
01:38:18,501 --> 01:38:21,292
Very pebbly.
Oh, God.
2177
01:38:22,042 --> 01:38:23,834
Quite, argh.
2178
01:38:24,376 --> 01:38:26,209
Quite jagged on your feet.
2179
01:38:30,501 --> 01:38:31,501
Ah.
2180
01:38:31,834 --> 01:38:33,792
[engine rumbling]
2181
01:38:42,876 --> 01:38:46,792
He wept as he held
the wife he loved
2182
01:38:46,917 --> 01:38:51,126
sole of discretion,
in his arms at last.
2183
01:38:51,876 --> 01:38:55,834
Joy,
warm is the joy felt by
2184
01:38:55,959 --> 01:38:59,751
shipwrecked sailors
as they sight land...
2185
01:39:01,459 --> 01:39:03,459
...joyous too for her
2186
01:39:03,584 --> 01:39:07,959
the sight of her husband,
vivid in her gaze
2187
01:39:08,251 --> 01:39:12,292
as her white arms
embracing his neck
2188
01:39:12,417 --> 01:39:15,209
would never let him go.
2189
01:39:17,751 --> 01:39:19,917
I'm doing Anthony Hopkins.
2190
01:39:20,751 --> 01:39:22,501
- I know.
2191
01:39:22,626 --> 01:39:24,376
[laughs]
2192
01:39:28,209 --> 01:39:29,542
I do love you.
2193
01:39:30,751 --> 01:39:31,917
You know that?
2194
01:39:38,042 --> 01:39:40,376
[instrumental music]
2195
01:39:40,417 --> 01:39:42,376
??
2196
01:39:58,959 --> 01:40:01,126
[music continues]
2197
01:40:01,167 --> 01:40:03,126
??