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[soft music]
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[bird shrieking]
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[Jeremy] Gerald had been
diagnosed with prostate cancer.
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Something that Kaleb and I discussed
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while trying to do
what our absent friend normally does.
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Bollocks.
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No.
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No.
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[Jeremy] It's bloody complicated.
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[Kaleb] Yeah.
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[Jeremy] I've been phoning round
doctors and things I know.
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[Kaleb] Yeah?
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[Jeremy] And his odds are really good.
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- But it's scaring him to death.
- [Kaleb] Yeah.
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[Kaleb] He doesn't understand.
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No, I know he doesn't understand.
And he's bewildered.
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Because, for obvious reasons,
somebody said : "Sorry, it's cancer."
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- That's all he heard.
- Yeah.
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[Jeremy] He's desperately upset.
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Terrified, poor man.
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No.
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[Kaleb] He's a strong man.
He's worked the land all of his life.
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He's not unfit, is he?
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He can do a day's work at...
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- What age is he?
- 74.
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He's amazing.
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[sighs]
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[theme music playing]
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[upbeat music]
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[Jeremy] We were now heading
into late autumn.
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And on Kaleb's side of the farm,
in one of the arable fields,
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things were not going well.
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So, Jeremy and Charlie said
it was too late to plant oilseed rape.
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I took the decision, as farm manager now,
to plant it myself.
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And unfortunately, it's failed.
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[sighs]
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Fucking annoying.
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[Jeremy] And when Kaleb
came over to see me,
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he became even more annoyed.
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Who the fuck is that?
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It's interesting you should ask that,
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because it's actually
half of Groove Armada.
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Who?
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Half of...
He was in Groove Armada.
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I don't know what that is.
Why is he drilling my field?
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[Jeremy] Er...
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[Jeremy] The thing is that fellow
Doncaster-boy Andy Cato
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no longer does this for a living.
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["If Everybody Looked the Same"
by Groove Armada]
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Like me, he's now moved into farming.
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And a couple of weeks earlier,
he and his business partner, George Lamb,
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had dropped round
to talk about their big idea.
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- I know it's called regenerative farming.
- Yeah.
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But I'd really like
to understand what it is.
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Our current farming system
declares war on natural systems.
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And tt's got us in a bit of a fix.
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Our soils have been pounded and poisoned
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to a point where they're within
a few decades of giving up.
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We've lost 80% of our insects,
so we can't keep doing that.
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Regenerative farming is a way of farming
which tries to copy natural systems.
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- But it's not organic?
- [Andy] No.
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In organic, the main thing
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is about not using any chemicals.
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Where we're different is we're about
assessing each bit of farmland
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and trying to figure out what it needs.
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So if we took the plant
and we took a reading from it,
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and it told us
that you were missing boron,
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or magnesium or something specific,
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we can feed according to need,
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rather than going and just dumping
thousands of kilos onto the field.
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[Jeremy] That's what we do.
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We filled a sprayer up
with gallons and gallons of chemicals
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and just go out and do every field.
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[Jeremy] Andy then explained
that the goal with regenerative farming
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was to copy the way nature
likes to mix things up.
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One thing you'll never find in the woods
or along a hedgerow
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or any natural system,
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is one type of plant.
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Nature never allows one type of plant
to grow in a big area.
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If you look in a drought year
like this year,
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all the bits that stood up to it
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are the hedgerows, the woodlands
and the bits that we haven't touched.
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The bits that have stayed green?
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Yeah. And the thing is,
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as the hedgerow or the woodland
or the meadowland prove,
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when that's working,
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you don't need to put anything on it.
Nature's got it sorted.
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So what we've got
to get away from is monocultures.
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{\an8}[dramatic clang]
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You're suggesting
planting wheat and something else
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- in the same field at the same time?
- [Andy] Yeah.
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So the idea of wheat and beans
is a good starting point.
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- In the same field?
- [Andy] Yes.
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Two things are happening there.
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One is that the nitrogen
from the atmosphere,
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of which there's an infinite abundance...
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80% of it, isn't it?
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The beans are taking that down
and putting it in the soil,
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- to replace fertiliser inputs.
- The beans are?
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- The beans are.
- They're great nitrogen fixers.
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[Andy] And so, by putting
two plant families in the same field,
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we're starting that process
of feeding the soil microbes,
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which we need to help recover
with a diversity of plants.
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Your yields are going to be way down.
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You're not going to grow as many beans
as if you just had a bean field
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or as much wheat, surely?
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Here's the thing.
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The overall output will be higher.
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- [Jeremy] Really?
- [Andy] Yeah.
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[Charlie] I know what you mean.
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- Net-margin-wise, at the bottom line.
- [George] Yes.
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Overall you might do less yield
in actual weight with us.
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But if you take
all those input costs out,
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for example, the chemical prices
are going up and up and up -
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our margin is higher.
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Plus, you're also building health
into your soil
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so you can farm indefinitely.
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If you carry on using the same
extractive system based on chemicals,
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the likelihood is in a couple
of generations' time,
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you won't be able to produce food
on your farm.
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So if we started to think
not in terms of yield,
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like the weight we get out of a field,
but in how much money...
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We only ever talk about
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"We got so many tonnes per acre."
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If we start to talk about
how many pounds per acre...
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Yeah.
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[Jeremy] I like the sound of this.
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Yeah, because you're not having
to give Mr CF Industries
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£1,000 for your fertiliser.
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Exactly.
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[Jeremy] Then came
the really enticing bit.
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Andy and George would guarantee
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to buy any crops
we grew using their method
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for a premium price.
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You buy it?
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- [Andy] We buy it off you at a premium.
- That's even better.
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You buy for more than I would get
from an ordinary grain merchant ?
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Yeah. For sure.
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Who do you sell it to?
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We're at about 250 regular customers,
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and that spreads
from small artisan bakeries
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to Marks & Spencers.
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- Marks & Spencers?
- Marks & Spencers?
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[George] Marks & Spencers.
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So your flour that you sell us
can be going into M&S.
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[dramatic clang]
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[Jeremy] Charlie and I were sold.
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So I'd handed over
one of the fields to Andy...
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[upbeat music]
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To see if his new soil-friendly system
would work.
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And now, I just had to hope
that Kaleb wouldn't mind.
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That's pissing me off
seeing him in there.
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You don't know what he's drilling yet,
wheat and beans.
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I see a bean bag.
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Yeah, he's got wheat and beans
in his hopper.
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[Kaleb] It's my field, though.
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I've drilled this field
for the last 6 years now.
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You won't have to this year
because he's doing it.
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He's putting it in with a disc drill.
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- That's not gonna work.
- Why not?
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Look out there. What do you see?
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- Mud.
- No. The other thing with the mud.
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- Stones.
- Yes.
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Do you know how a disc drill works?
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We've got a tine drill for that reason.
It moves the stone out the way
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then plants the seed.
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- Yeah.
- Yes?
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You put a disc drill through that,
that'll go over the stone
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and plant the seed on top of the stone.
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- Will it?
- Yes.
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[Jeremy] Hmm...
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He's probably on Boy's Land.
This is Man's Land.
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[Jeremy] I then put on
my "Boutros Boutros" hat,
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because it was time
for the two of them to meet.
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Be nice. Don't be petulant like a child.
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Andy, Kaleb.
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- [Andy] How you doing?
- Kaleb, Andy.
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- He's thrilled.
- Nice to meet you.
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- He's thrilled.
- Looking pretty thrilled, yeah.
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- [Jeremy] No. Oh, here's somebody else.
- [Charlie] Hi.
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- [Jeremy] Been planting with a trowel?
- [Kaleb] Scratching like a chicken.
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Yeah.
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The first thing he says is you're using
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a disc drill,
which won't work in that field.
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- Yeah?
- [Kaleb] There's a lot of stone.
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There are?
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- Do you think it'll work?
- [Andy] I'm with you with the stones.
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This drill is set up
to sow two things at the same time
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and put a bit of probiotic liquid
down with the seed.
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If we get through the stones,
we can get the job done.
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What's the liquid for? Fertiliser?
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No, it's like, er...
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We're gonna try
and bring the soil back to life.
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- and get all the things...
- It is alive.
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If I farm that bit there
and you rip this bit up and put your...
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00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:54,600
whatever you're doing, in here,
you'll get a better yield?
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00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:56,200
No, no, no.
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00:09:56,360 --> 00:09:58,720
Okay. Would you make more money
than I would?
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00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:01,640
Well, let's go back a step,
because if...
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00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:05,040
- You're tall as the sun.
- [Andy] What's that? [laughs]
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00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:07,640
- [Andy] If...
- My neck.
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00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:09,400
Do you want me
to come down the downslope?
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00:10:09,520 --> 00:10:10,360
[Kaleb] Yeah, if that's all right.
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00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:12,280
- Yeah, better.
- That's better!
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00:10:13,040 --> 00:10:15,240
[Kaleb] What are you planting? Wheat?
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00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:18,520
- [Andy] And beans.
- How do you harvest it
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00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:20,360
and not lose anything out the back?
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00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:22,760
You set it so you're not
losing anything out the back.
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00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:26,520
- It'll go through a grain cleaner.
- Which costs more money.
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00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:30,280
You don't have to take care of that
because part of the deal is
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00:10:30,440 --> 00:10:33,160
that we'll just take the wheat and beans
together and we'll sort it all out.
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00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:35,160
- They do that.
- Do we sell it to you then?
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00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:36,200
[Andy and Jeremy] Yeah.
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00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:38,400
- [Jeremy] And they pay a premium.
- [Kaleb] Fine.
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00:10:40,880 --> 00:10:42,840
[Kaleb] Next question, then.
Was you in a band?
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00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:44,760
- I was.
- [Kaleb] I can tell.
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00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:45,760
Because?
218
00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:49,320
Because you've left your tractor running
at a pound a litre.
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00:10:49,520 --> 00:10:51,440
[all laughing]
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[upbeat music]
221
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[Jeremy] It was now late November.
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00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:05,520
And I had my head buried
in my latest homework.
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00:11:06,680 --> 00:11:08,040
[Jeremy] Yorkshire pig.
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00:11:08,560 --> 00:11:10,360
[in Yorkshire accent]
Who are you looking at?
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00:11:10,560 --> 00:11:14,720
[Jeremy] Because despite
Charlie's protests, I'd bought some pigs
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00:11:14,920 --> 00:11:17,960
and their arrival was only days away.
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00:11:19,120 --> 00:11:20,600
[Jeremy] Corrugated iron.
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00:11:22,520 --> 00:11:23,400
[Jeremy] As a result,
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00:11:23,560 --> 00:11:27,680
I had to get
three big pens built in the potato field.
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00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:33,040
This would be a lot of work
and I really needed some expert help.
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00:11:36,160 --> 00:11:37,360
Kaleb is ill.
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00:11:37,880 --> 00:11:39,440
- [Lisa] Okay.
- [Jeremy sighs]
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00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:44,920
First rule, you would have thought with
farming, you go to work. The end.
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00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:46,560
There is a really bad cold going around.
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00:11:46,720 --> 00:11:49,080
- Yeah, but it's a cold!
- It's horrible.
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00:11:49,280 --> 00:11:50,480
Foetuses. Honestly.
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00:11:50,680 --> 00:11:54,360
Could you grab the telehandler?
Since it's an emergency.
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00:11:54,560 --> 00:11:56,480
[rock music]
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00:11:58,640 --> 00:11:59,640
[Jeremy] Look at this!
240
00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:02,560
This is the Diddly Squat
Heavy Machinery Unit
241
00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:04,720
swinging into action here.
242
00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:08,360
[rock music continues]
243
00:12:08,560 --> 00:12:09,600
[Jeremy] Whoa.
244
00:12:10,440 --> 00:12:11,240
[wind howling]
245
00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:12,520
Bloody hell.
246
00:12:12,920 --> 00:12:13,720
Wind!
247
00:12:13,880 --> 00:12:14,720
[laughing]
248
00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:15,800
[sighing]
249
00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:18,880
No! I've got my own sail!
250
00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:19,840
[sighing]
251
00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:21,200
[loud thud]
252
00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:23,680
- [Jeremy] You know what pigs I'm getting?
- [Lisa] No.
253
00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:25,720
[Jeremy] They're called
Shandy and Blacks.
254
00:12:25,920 --> 00:12:28,200
- Ooh!
- And they are from...
255
00:12:28,360 --> 00:12:30,640
- See the forest over there?
- Yeah?
256
00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:32,400
That's where they're from.
Forest of Wychwood.
257
00:12:32,560 --> 00:12:33,800
- You are kidding?
- No.
258
00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:35,320
- [Jeremy] A few years ago...
- Uh-huh?
259
00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:37,080
[Jeremy] There was only one...
260
00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:39,360
man pig left.
261
00:12:39,520 --> 00:12:42,320
- [Lisa] Boar?
- Yeah. One left in the whole world.
262
00:12:42,480 --> 00:12:45,720
- [Lisa] No way?
- And it was rescued by a farm in Dean.
263
00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:49,600
They're bringing it back.
So I've decided to get Shandy and Blacks.
264
00:12:49,760 --> 00:12:53,720
It sounds like a sort of thing
a northern woman would drink in a pub.
265
00:12:53,920 --> 00:12:55,400
- [Lisa] 83 m ?
- There.
266
00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:57,640
- [Jeremy] This is the other corner.
- Here we go.
267
00:12:59,240 --> 00:13:01,520
Look, a farmer! At work!
268
00:13:01,680 --> 00:13:04,280
Possibly with a light cold, mild flu,
269
00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:06,360
but able to go to work.
270
00:13:08,440 --> 00:13:12,560
[Jeremy] Having measured out the pens,
our next job was to install the fences
271
00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:16,680
using a post knocker
I'd nicked from Kaleb's yard.
272
00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:18,160
Right.
273
00:13:19,040 --> 00:13:22,160
- What we need to do is get that pin...
- [Lisa] In the middle.
274
00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:23,640
- [Jeremy] Into there.
- Okay.
275
00:13:23,840 --> 00:13:25,160
[mechanism grinding]
276
00:13:25,320 --> 00:13:26,440
Oh, wow!
277
00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:27,760
- Are we happy?
- Yep.
278
00:13:29,280 --> 00:13:30,480
Oh nice.
279
00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:35,000
Can you imagine putting
someone's head there? 'Oomph! Gone.
280
00:13:35,160 --> 00:13:37,880
-"Gangs of London."
- This would be a great one.
281
00:13:38,040 --> 00:13:40,240
- We should do "Gangs of Chipping Norton"!
- [laughs]
282
00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:42,480
Put people's heads on this!
283
00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:46,000
- [Lisa] Shall I put these every 3 metres?
- [Jeremy] Yeah.
284
00:13:48,040 --> 00:13:49,680
[thud]
285
00:13:52,120 --> 00:13:56,120
[Jeremy] It really is raining now
and officially night.
286
00:13:58,160 --> 00:13:59,320
- [Jeremy] I've done the maths.
- Yep.
287
00:13:59,480 --> 00:14:02,240
And we're gonna have
to put in 75 fence posts
288
00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:04,760
before we start putting
the actual fencing up.
289
00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:05,720
[Lisa moans]
290
00:14:05,880 --> 00:14:08,560
[Jeremy] We're not quick,
but it is our first day.
291
00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:10,440
- [Lisa] Yep.
- And we can be proud of ourselves.
292
00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:15,080
[upbeat music]
293
00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:22,320
{\an8}[Jeremy] Right, we've gotta thread this
through here. Yeah.
294
00:14:22,520 --> 00:14:24,760
[music continues]
295
00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:27,720
[Lisa] Ooh, that was juicy.
296
00:14:28,640 --> 00:14:30,480
[Jeremy] Right, now, here we go.
297
00:14:30,640 --> 00:14:33,760
When I drive forwards,
it's going to tension it.
298
00:14:41,680 --> 00:14:43,160
[creaking]
299
00:14:43,320 --> 00:14:45,280
[Lisa] No, no, no, no, no, no!
300
00:14:45,440 --> 00:14:47,440
Jeremy? Whoa, whoa!
301
00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:48,960
You've pulled it over.
302
00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:50,560
[Jeremy] What? Pulled what?
303
00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:53,200
[Lisa] I was screaming at you
and you can't hear.
304
00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:57,000
- What have I pulled over?
- You pulled the last post over.
305
00:14:57,760 --> 00:14:59,160
Eejit.
306
00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:03,600
Fucking ripped the whole thing up.
307
00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:07,960
[Lisa] You're meant to be looking at me.
308
00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:10,120
- We could have used the phone.
- We can all blame each other.
309
00:15:10,280 --> 00:15:11,080
No, it's not that.
310
00:15:11,240 --> 00:15:13,520
I was trying to make sure that
the thing wasn't wobbling at the front.
311
00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:15,280
"Blame each other"?
312
00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:18,120
We're gonna have to put the post--
How are we gonna...
313
00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:21,560
Wait. This is more of a problem.
No, stop just for a second.
314
00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:23,920
The corner post has to go there
to be in line with that
315
00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:25,480
- and in line with this.
- Uh-huh.
316
00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:27,280
And we've loosened the ground up,
haven't we?
317
00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:28,920
We hav-- "We" have?
318
00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:30,800
Yeah, "we" have.
319
00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:34,360
[Jeremy] When the fences were all up,
320
00:15:34,520 --> 00:15:38,000
we quickly discovered
we'd given ourselves a problem.
321
00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:40,960
[Lisa] Hang on. Let's think about this.
322
00:15:41,160 --> 00:15:42,720
If you open that one...
323
00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:46,440
Yep.
324
00:15:47,760 --> 00:15:50,080
Right. So we have to open this one first.
325
00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:51,760
Or we have to take this one off. Do we?
326
00:15:51,920 --> 00:15:54,320
Well, if we open this one first...
327
00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:57,320
- No, it's...
- We fucked up.
328
00:15:57,480 --> 00:15:59,920
- I know we did. It should've been...
- So take that off.
329
00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:01,480
Yes. Exactly.
330
00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:06,960
[Jeremy] Despite the setbacks, though,
we managed without Kaleb or Charlie
331
00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:08,880
to finish the pens.
332
00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:12,960
And then,
we had to start work on the pig houses,
333
00:16:13,120 --> 00:16:15,840
which came with my least favourite thing:
334
00:16:16,200 --> 00:16:17,640
an instruction manual.
335
00:16:18,880 --> 00:16:22,960
From this to this in 30--?
Fuck off! 30 minutes my arse. Look!
336
00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:26,080
- That goes on there like that, yeah?
- Oh, yeah? Okay.
337
00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:28,360
It's IKEA, but for pigs.
338
00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:29,640
[screw-gun]
339
00:16:29,840 --> 00:16:30,640
- Yeah?
- [Lisa] Yeah.
340
00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:31,920
Yeah.
341
00:16:32,120 --> 00:16:34,480
Is that on the...
where it's painted?
342
00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:35,880
[screw-gun]
343
00:16:36,520 --> 00:16:38,040
- Okay.
- Perfect.
344
00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:39,680
Er...
345
00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:42,480
- Oh for fuck's sake!
- What?
346
00:16:42,680 --> 00:16:44,040
There's no door.
347
00:16:44,240 --> 00:16:46,600
- We were supposed to use that.
- [Lisa] Oh those go there.
348
00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:48,680
- [Jeremy sighs]
- Jesus.
349
00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:49,800
[Lisa] Okay?
350
00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:52,640
I picked up the nearest bit of wood.
I didn't realise you needed a door.
351
00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:54,560
But pigs need doors.
352
00:16:54,760 --> 00:16:56,960
We've gotta swivel it round, haven't we?
Yeah.
353
00:16:57,520 --> 00:16:59,000
We've now been exactly half an hour.
354
00:16:59,160 --> 00:16:59,960
[Lisa] Right.
355
00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:02,360
Sansa? Arya?
356
00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:04,280
[Lisa] Oh! I'm going backwards.
357
00:17:05,120 --> 00:17:08,080
[Jeremy] Sansa! Arya! Come here.
358
00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:11,200
Sansa? Arya? Dogs?
359
00:17:11,320 --> 00:17:12,280
[Jeremy sighs]
360
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:14,240
Oh, they're here.
361
00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:16,480
Sit.
362
00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:18,040
Sit.
363
00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:19,760
Arya, sit.
364
00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:21,640
[screw-gun]
365
00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:22,880
Sit.
366
00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:24,200
Sit.
367
00:17:25,040 --> 00:17:25,880
Sit.
368
00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:27,800
[Lisa] Oh, God.
369
00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:30,320
Right, look, well, it's firm-- ish.
370
00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:32,320
That's good.
Let's get the next one.
371
00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:33,480
[screw-gun]
372
00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:35,280
[upbeat music]
373
00:17:39,920 --> 00:17:41,680
I can't remember
how many days it's taken us
374
00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:44,480
to build this pig migration centre,
375
00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:47,560
but we have pretty much done it.
376
00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:49,760
[Lisa] Yep.
377
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:52,200
Perfect.
378
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:56,040
[laughing]
379
00:17:56,480 --> 00:17:59,440
[Jeremy] I am actually feeling
really rather pleased with that.
380
00:17:59,960 --> 00:18:04,000
If there's any pig farmers watching
who wanna write in, do.
381
00:18:04,160 --> 00:18:07,320
Mark your envelope:
"Yeah, we were impressed as well."
382
00:18:07,480 --> 00:18:08,520
Er...
383
00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:11,880
"Diddly Squat Farm,
Chipping Norton, Oxfordshire."
384
00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:17,200
[Jeremy] But, despite our best efforts,
385
00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:20,160
the pig hotel wasn't quite finished
386
00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:22,920
by the time our guests arrived.
387
00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:25,720
[tense music]
388
00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:27,520
- I'm Jeremy.
- [man] Hello, Jeremy.
389
00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:29,560
[Jeremy] How are you?
This is Lisa. Wherever she is.
390
00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:31,440
- [man] Hello, there. How are you?
- [Lisa] Nice to meet you.
391
00:18:31,560 --> 00:18:34,320
- [man] Nice to meet you too.
- [Peter] Hi. I'm Peter.
392
00:18:34,520 --> 00:18:36,520
- [Josh] Hi. Josh. Nice to meet you.
- Hello, Josh. How are you?
393
00:18:36,720 --> 00:18:38,480
- What have you got here?
- [Peter] Proper pig boards.
394
00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:40,000
[Jeremy] What are they for?
395
00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:42,920
[Josh] To steer the pigs in the paddocks,
so they don't run that way.
396
00:18:43,440 --> 00:18:46,320
- Oh, you use the board. I see.
- [Lisa] Oh, right. Easy.
397
00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:48,440
You can't put them on a lead.
398
00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:49,400
[all laughing]
399
00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:53,560
I've seen Babe!
I know how it works.
400
00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:55,400
Piggies!
401
00:18:56,560 --> 00:18:58,200
- How old are these ones?
- [man] About a year.
402
00:18:58,320 --> 00:19:00,760
[Jeremy] Are they what you call weaners?
Or are they gilts?
403
00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:03,040
[man] Moving on
from weaners to gilts, yeah.
404
00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:05,160
[Jeremy] I can't wait to get them.
Can we get them out?
405
00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:06,440
[Lisa] Yeah.
406
00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:08,440
[Jeremy] Here they come!
407
00:19:09,680 --> 00:19:10,720
[man] Good pigs.
408
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:16,240
[Jeremy] Oh, they are fantastic!
Look at them!
409
00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:18,560
You rare breed, you!
410
00:19:19,320 --> 00:19:22,080
- So those are how old?
- [man] They're coming up to a year now.
411
00:19:22,680 --> 00:19:24,320
[Jeremy] I love their socks
they've got on.
412
00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:25,800
[Lisa] I know!
413
00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:30,200
But there's one... Oh, bigger pig.
414
00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:32,760
Much bigger pig coming.
415
00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:36,080
- Why is this one so much bigger?
- [Josh] She's much older.
416
00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:38,160
- How old is she?
- This is a breeding sow.
417
00:19:38,320 --> 00:19:40,720
About two. So she has had baby.
418
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:42,080
They haven't met before.
419
00:19:42,280 --> 00:19:44,680
- [Jeremy] Oh, haven't they?
- [Josh] No. So there might be a little
420
00:19:44,880 --> 00:19:45,800
of working who's who.
421
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:47,320
I'll keep these back, shall I? Come on.
422
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:50,320
- And they're all lady pigs?
- [Josh] All lady pigs.
423
00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:52,880
They've got their hackles up
on the back of their neck.
424
00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:53,800
[Jeremy] Like a dog?
425
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:56,560
[Josh] That's how you know they're
getting a bit grouchy with each other.
426
00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:58,720
And they just don't like
each other because...?
427
00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:01,480
They've not met before.
They'll make friends soon.
428
00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:02,760
[squealing]
429
00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:05,800
- [Jeremy] Fight! Fight! Fight!
- [Josh] Girls, be nice.
430
00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:07,560
[Jeremy] This is a proper...
431
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:09,080
[Josh] She's much bigger,
432
00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:11,920
but they've got each other,
so they'll stand their ground.
433
00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:14,240
[squealing]
434
00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:17,800
Shall we get the electric gates on?
There you go. You're on now.
435
00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:19,640
We're on.
So if they touch it now...
436
00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:20,640
[squealing]
437
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:21,560
- [Jeremy] There you go.
- [Josh] It's working.
438
00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:24,760
- [Jeremy] The electric fence is on.
- [Josh] Yeah.
439
00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:29,760
[Jeremy] It was then time to put
the young piglets in their compound.
440
00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:33,520
- [man] Ten in here for you.
- [Jeremy] I'm looking forward to this.
441
00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:36,320
- [squeals]
- [Jeremy laughs]
442
00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:40,160
Come on, piggies.
Welcome to Diddly Squat.
443
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,640
- [woman] They're gorgeous.
- [Jeremy] Aren't they fantastic?
444
00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:45,040
[woman] Yeah, they're glorious.
445
00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:47,480
[Jeremy] Piggly Squat.
That's what the herd's called.
446
00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:49,040
[woman] It is a superb breed.
447
00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:51,800
[Jeremy] When the sun shines on them,
they look metallic.
448
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:54,680
[woman] Chestnut. They're like conkers.
449
00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:57,800
Nobody here
will remember the NSU Ro 80.
450
00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:00,080
There was a car called the NSU Ro 80.
451
00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:03,160
You used to be able to get that
in exactly the same colour.
452
00:21:03,320 --> 00:21:05,640
- [woman] Really?
- A sort of metallic bronze.
453
00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:06,560
[man] Yeah.
454
00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:10,560
- [Jeremy] He's found the potatoes, look.
- [man] Yeah.
455
00:21:11,160 --> 00:21:14,240
[woman] They're gorgeous. Look at them
running around. They like it.
456
00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:15,920
[squealing]
457
00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:16,880
Oh!
458
00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:19,440
[chuckling] Lisa's beside herself!
459
00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:21,520
[Lisa] You're so cute!
460
00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:23,520
[Jeremy] Aren't they just the best?
461
00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:25,160
[Lisa chuckling] Yeah!
462
00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:26,560
"It's potatoes! Potatoes!"
463
00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:27,760
[Jeremy] Look at them!
They've gone mental!
464
00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:32,400
"Oh, this is lunch! It's literally lunch
everywhere you look!"
465
00:21:32,560 --> 00:21:34,800
[Lisa] They all follow each other.
Oh my God, they're so cute.
466
00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:36,920
[Jeremy] That one thinks it's a dog.
467
00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:38,040
[squeals]
468
00:21:40,320 --> 00:21:42,880
- [Jeremy chuckling]
- [Lisa] What are you doing down there?
469
00:21:44,280 --> 00:21:46,240
[Jeremy keeps chuckling]
470
00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:49,320
[Lisa] So how long are they here for?
A couple of months?
471
00:21:49,480 --> 00:21:51,440
[Jeremy] Yeah. They winter up here.
472
00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:52,600
[Lisa] Hey, girlies.
473
00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:54,360
[Jeremy] Till they've eaten
all the potatoes.
474
00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:58,360
- [Jeremy] And then they're off.
- [Lisa] Oh! The Piggly Squats!
475
00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:00,120
[upbeat music]
476
00:22:00,280 --> 00:22:03,320
[Jeremy] Finally, we had to release
the last group of pigs
477
00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:07,320
into the pen where...
sex would take place.
478
00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:10,400
So this for the middle field
is a sow, a gilt and a boar.
479
00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:13,000
- So sows had babies before?
- Yeah.
480
00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:14,720
- A gilt--
- [Lisa] A gilt hasn't.
481
00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:16,560
[man] This is Mabel.
She can be a bit cheeky.
482
00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:18,960
- [Jeremy] And Mabel is a sow?
- [man] Yes.
483
00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:20,840
Come on, Sarah.
484
00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:21,880
[Lisa] Come on, Sarah!
485
00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:23,480
[man] Come on, darling. Come, pig.
486
00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:26,640
[Jeremy] I do know the boar
is called Ajax.
487
00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:28,400
- Ajax?
- Ajax.
488
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:30,960
[Jeremy] Here we go.
489
00:22:31,120 --> 00:22:33,480
- [Lisa] He's a young boar.
- [Jeremy] Yeah, he is.
490
00:22:35,240 --> 00:22:36,800
He's nowhere near as stocky
as I thought he'd be.
491
00:22:36,960 --> 00:22:38,160
[Lisa] He's young, though.
492
00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:40,960
- [Jeremy] Here he goes. Look.
- [Lisa] Here we go.
493
00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:43,800
Hello. Look at this.
This is the meeting of...
494
00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:46,040
- [Lisa] "Hello, sailor."
- [Jeremy] Sarah and Ajax.
495
00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:47,520
[woman] Love at first sight.
496
00:22:47,720 --> 00:22:49,240
Aw, they're kissing.
497
00:22:51,120 --> 00:22:55,680
[Jeremy] There was, however, no time
to enjoy this Mills & Boon moment.
498
00:22:56,880 --> 00:22:58,240
[screw-gun]
499
00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:02,600
Because we had to get
the throuple's pig house built
500
00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:04,680
before nightfall.
501
00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:06,760
[upbeat music]
502
00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:08,800
[Jeremy] Here comes your house
503
00:23:09,560 --> 00:23:12,560
Ajax and Sarah and Mabel.
504
00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:15,560
[music continues]
505
00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:19,440
So if there's a big "clonk",
I could squidge a pig.
506
00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:20,960
[clonk]
507
00:23:21,120 --> 00:23:22,040
[Lisa] That's good.
508
00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:24,400
It is now...
509
00:23:25,120 --> 00:23:26,120
dark.
510
00:23:33,400 --> 00:23:34,320
[Lisa] Okay.
511
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:35,800
[Jeremy] Oh-oh.
512
00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:39,760
The sow is now going to join Lisa.
[Jeremy laughs]
513
00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:41,360
[Lisa] There you go. See?
514
00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:45,080
[Jeremy] Oh, no!
More worryingly, here comes the boar.
515
00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:48,560
- That is...
- [Lisa] Oh, no, no, no. Not all of you!
516
00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:50,440
[Jeremy laughs]
517
00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:54,280
[Lisa] Jeremy?
518
00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:56,440
Erm... Jesus.
519
00:23:56,600 --> 00:23:59,080
[Jeremy keeps laughing]
520
00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:04,720
["Tomorrow’s Gonna Be a Brighter Day"
by Jim Croce playing]
521
00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:09,640
♪ I'm sorry for the things
that I told you ♪
522
00:24:10,120 --> 00:24:11,920
♪ But words only go so far ♪
523
00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:15,600
♪ And if I had my way
I would reach into Heaven... ♪
524
00:24:15,760 --> 00:24:18,040
[Jeremy] The Piggly Squat pigs
settled down
525
00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:21,040
to the business of settling in.
526
00:24:21,880 --> 00:24:24,240
♪ And pearls from a summer sea ♪
527
00:24:24,400 --> 00:24:26,960
♪ But all I can give you
is a kiss in the morning ♪
528
00:24:27,120 --> 00:24:28,840
♪ And a sweet apology ♪
529
00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:30,800
[grunts]
530
00:24:31,360 --> 00:24:35,120
♪ And tomorrow's
gonna be a brighter day ♪
531
00:24:35,280 --> 00:24:38,120
[Jeremy] I, meanwhile,
cracked on with farming life,
532
00:24:38,280 --> 00:24:43,280
which, this week, included
one of Charlie's skull-numbing catch-ups.
533
00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:46,920
If we were to plant woodland,
there is the Woodland Carbon Code.
534
00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:49,080
So, the long and the short of it is
535
00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:51,160
we could put those into a herbal ley.
536
00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:53,000
We have to tell Defra we're keen.
537
00:24:53,160 --> 00:24:55,160
We need to make that application
by the end of March.
538
00:24:55,320 --> 00:24:56,760
[Charlie's voice fading out]
539
00:24:58,080 --> 00:25:00,160
... allocated
a certain percentage of their income
540
00:25:00,360 --> 00:25:03,440
to environmental,
social and ESG governance.
541
00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:05,560
You know, particularly the food industry,
Scope 3...
542
00:25:05,720 --> 00:25:07,200
[Charlie's voice fading out]
543
00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:11,760
[Jeremy] And, after I woke up
two days later,
544
00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:16,200
I had to send the precious spelt wheat
off to the mill.
545
00:25:17,080 --> 00:25:19,680
Right, I'll just load
this grain lorry by myself
546
00:25:20,320 --> 00:25:22,720
because Kaleb
is still being a Millennial.
547
00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:24,560
Here we go.
548
00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:41,400
[clanking]
549
00:25:58,240 --> 00:25:59,440
Can we edit this out?
550
00:26:00,720 --> 00:26:02,320
[upbeat music]
551
00:26:10,360 --> 00:26:13,960
[Jeremy] A week after the pigs arrived,
I took Lisa to see them,
552
00:26:14,320 --> 00:26:18,080
because my breeding plans had hit a snag.
553
00:26:19,840 --> 00:26:22,360
[Jeremy] So the big problem I've got is
554
00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:25,840
whenever you see the boar
mounting that sow...
555
00:26:26,040 --> 00:26:27,040
Uh-huh?
556
00:26:27,720 --> 00:26:30,760
How can I put this delicately?
He can't reach.
557
00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:32,640
[Lisa] Do you have to give him a hand?
558
00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:34,240
Well, he's much smaller
559
00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:36,080
- than she is.
- [Lisa] Yeah.
560
00:26:36,240 --> 00:26:38,200
- So when he gets on her back.
- [Lisa] Yeah.
561
00:26:38,360 --> 00:26:40,600
- His penis...
- [Lisa] Yeah.
562
00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:44,160
Isn't long enough to get into her vagina.
563
00:26:44,320 --> 00:26:46,360
[Lisa] Er, well, I'm sure she's...
564
00:26:46,520 --> 00:26:48,320
There's a way of working that out,
isn't there?
565
00:26:49,720 --> 00:26:51,040
[Jeremy] Hello, pigs.
566
00:26:51,560 --> 00:26:53,800
[Jeremy] Luckily, we arrived just in time
567
00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:56,800
to see the little boar
having yet another attempt
568
00:26:56,960 --> 00:26:59,760
to mount the much bigger sow.
569
00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:02,280
[Jeremy] There he goes.
570
00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:04,320
But this is the problem, look.
571
00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:07,080
Look how much smaller he is.
572
00:27:07,640 --> 00:27:08,760
[Lisa] He's too small.
573
00:27:08,920 --> 00:27:10,240
[Jeremy] It's not going in.
574
00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:12,320
Go on, get it in. It's not in.
575
00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:14,520
It's not in, you blithering idiot.
576
00:27:15,400 --> 00:27:17,280
[Lisa] It's not coming out either,
to be honest.
577
00:27:17,440 --> 00:27:18,440
[Jeremy] His cock's come off.
578
00:27:18,600 --> 00:27:20,680
Where's it gone?
His cock's not coming out.
579
00:27:21,240 --> 00:27:22,200
Come on!
580
00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:26,360
Er...
581
00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:28,480
[boar grunting]
582
00:27:28,640 --> 00:27:30,280
I don't know what you do about this.
583
00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:32,160
[Lisa] She's being very patient.
584
00:27:33,240 --> 00:27:34,600
[Jeremy] Well, she's desperate.
585
00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:37,120
But you're gonna have
to move your feet forwards.
586
00:27:38,480 --> 00:27:41,240
That was just
the most terrible shagging ever.
587
00:27:43,080 --> 00:27:45,240
- [Lisa] He's desperate.
- [Jeremy] He just pushed her.
588
00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:47,720
- [squealing]
- Oh no, you've electrocuted her.
589
00:27:47,920 --> 00:27:50,680
[Lisa] Aw. Look, he's saying sorry.
590
00:27:52,280 --> 00:27:55,600
[Jeremy] We decided to leave him
in the sex pen for another week,
591
00:27:55,960 --> 00:27:59,680
in the hope he'd get
the birds and the bees sorted out.
592
00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:03,200
[soft country music]
593
00:28:03,360 --> 00:28:05,960
This meant
we could focus on other things,
594
00:28:06,120 --> 00:28:07,320
which was handy.
595
00:28:07,480 --> 00:28:09,240
Because a couple of days later...
596
00:28:09,440 --> 00:28:10,320
[car honking]
597
00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:12,440
Jeremy, a farmer down the road,
598
00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:15,120
brought some old friends back.
599
00:28:15,320 --> 00:28:17,040
- [bleating]
- There you go.
600
00:28:17,200 --> 00:28:18,040
Look who it is!
601
00:28:19,160 --> 00:28:20,760
Hello, "sheeps"!
602
00:28:23,640 --> 00:28:26,160
[Jeremy] A moment only slightly spoiled
603
00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:27,760
by a social faux pas.
604
00:28:28,880 --> 00:28:30,400
[Lisa] Hello, Jeremy the Younger.
605
00:28:30,560 --> 00:28:32,440
- [Young Jeremy] Hi, Lisa. How are you?
- Good.
606
00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:34,360
- Congratulations on your marriage.
- Thank you.
607
00:28:34,520 --> 00:28:35,560
I didn't know.
608
00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:37,320
Yes, we're invited
to the wedding, darling.
609
00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:39,280
- I did know. How's it going?
- Yes.
610
00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:45,040
[Jeremy] Then it was time
to prep the barn
611
00:28:45,200 --> 00:28:48,360
where our remaining cows
would be living through the winter.
612
00:28:48,880 --> 00:28:53,440
Another job where Kaleb
was conspicuous by his absence.
613
00:28:53,960 --> 00:28:55,600
- You know he's better? Fully recovered.
- Yeah.
614
00:28:55,760 --> 00:28:57,400
So much better he's gone on holiday.
615
00:28:57,560 --> 00:29:00,440
- You're joking? How long?
- All week.
616
00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:02,000
- What?
- He's gone to Cornwall.
617
00:29:02,160 --> 00:29:05,360
He'll get a nose bleed, because it's more
than a mile from Chipping Norton.
618
00:29:05,520 --> 00:29:08,040
But he's gone. In this weather.
619
00:29:08,240 --> 00:29:10,360
- I suppose he thinks...
- [Lisa] Yeah?
620
00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:12,640
[Jeremy] His side of the farm,
the arable side,
621
00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:15,560
he can't do anything,
so he may as well be on holiday.
622
00:29:15,720 --> 00:29:17,600
- I thought he was farm manager?
- Our side of the farm,
623
00:29:17,760 --> 00:29:19,760
the profitable side of the farm,
624
00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:22,960
we have to put in a shift.
625
00:29:23,160 --> 00:29:24,880
[upbeat music]
626
00:29:29,880 --> 00:29:32,560
How did the world work
without telehandlers?
627
00:29:32,760 --> 00:29:35,080
I do not know.
628
00:29:35,960 --> 00:29:37,360
[Lisa] Yeah, forward.
629
00:29:37,520 --> 00:29:40,240
[music continues]
630
00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:42,800
Yes!
631
00:29:43,280 --> 00:29:44,760
[Jeremy laughs]
632
00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:50,480
[Jeremy] Come on, cows.
633
00:29:50,680 --> 00:29:53,080
[Lisa] Hiya. Gently. Hiya.
634
00:29:54,120 --> 00:29:55,800
[Jeremy] Look. Your hotel!
635
00:29:55,960 --> 00:29:56,920
[cows mooing]
636
00:29:57,120 --> 00:29:59,160
- [Lisa] Hiya. Hiya.
- [Jeremy] Go on.
637
00:29:59,320 --> 00:30:00,480
[Jeremy] No. Uh-uh, uh-uh.
638
00:30:00,640 --> 00:30:02,200
[Lisa] That's the one. That's the one.
639
00:30:02,400 --> 00:30:04,560
Oh, man. Yeah!
640
00:30:05,680 --> 00:30:07,520
[Jeremy] I'll let you out in five months.
641
00:30:08,720 --> 00:30:10,480
Look at that, Mr Cow.
642
00:30:10,680 --> 00:30:13,000
[Lisa] Okay. We're done.
643
00:30:14,200 --> 00:30:16,840
[Jeremy] A pretty idyllic sight, that is.
Look at that.
644
00:30:18,760 --> 00:30:19,560
You...
645
00:30:20,120 --> 00:30:22,080
look delicious.
646
00:30:23,480 --> 00:30:24,680
[mooing]
647
00:30:27,720 --> 00:30:29,720
[upbeat music]
648
00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:32,960
[Jeremy] We had to assume,
while all this was going on,
649
00:30:33,160 --> 00:30:36,360
that the boar
had done his thing in the sex pen
650
00:30:36,520 --> 00:30:40,880
and that we could now introduce him
to the ladies in the next pen along.
651
00:30:41,040 --> 00:30:42,280
[squealing]
652
00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:45,040
[Jeremy] Hello, pigbies.
653
00:30:45,200 --> 00:30:49,840
[Jeremy] This turned out to be one
of the wettest and most confusing hours
654
00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:51,840
of my entire life.
655
00:30:53,600 --> 00:30:55,640
Oh, here comes the rain again. Now...
656
00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:57,440
[Lisa] Okay, Annie Lennox.
657
00:30:57,640 --> 00:30:58,520
[grunting]
658
00:31:02,640 --> 00:31:05,320
Oh shit. This is like Tetris.
Where does this go?
659
00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:09,200
- Oh it's really raining.
- [Lisa] Okay.
660
00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:10,200
[Jeremy] Yeah.
661
00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:13,520
This is heavy rain now.
662
00:31:13,720 --> 00:31:15,840
- [Lisa] Quickly do it.
- Oh, nearly. Keep going.
663
00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:18,040
- [Lisa] Yes!
- Yes! Well done, Lisa.
664
00:31:18,400 --> 00:31:19,320
Well done you.
665
00:31:19,480 --> 00:31:20,280
[Lisa] Ow!
666
00:31:21,200 --> 00:31:23,440
- It's attached somehow to the electrics.
- [Jeremy] You gotta--
667
00:31:23,600 --> 00:31:25,600
[Jeremy] Can you stop
the pigs coming out?
668
00:31:25,800 --> 00:31:28,040
It's just a clearing-up shower.
669
00:31:29,800 --> 00:31:31,240
[Lisa] That doesn't work.
670
00:31:32,720 --> 00:31:34,320
[Jeremy] You're dead right.
671
00:31:34,520 --> 00:31:35,560
[Lisa] You have to...
672
00:31:35,720 --> 00:31:37,240
[Jeremy] We didn't measure it properly,
did we?
673
00:31:37,400 --> 00:31:39,760
[Lisa] No, we didn't. "We" didn't.
674
00:31:40,320 --> 00:31:41,280
[grunting]
675
00:31:43,120 --> 00:31:44,960
[Lisa] Okay, quickly, open that one.
676
00:31:45,680 --> 00:31:46,720
Open that one.
677
00:31:47,760 --> 00:31:49,280
And I'll somehow
678
00:31:50,440 --> 00:31:52,080
get the boar without the...
679
00:31:52,240 --> 00:31:54,840
[Jeremy] Now, we only need
the one with the penis.
680
00:31:55,040 --> 00:31:56,400
[Lisa] Oh! Okay.
681
00:31:56,560 --> 00:31:58,760
- [Jeremy] Not her.
- There you go. Look. Biscuits!
682
00:31:58,920 --> 00:32:00,880
[Jeremy] Oh shit! No! Fuck!
683
00:32:01,040 --> 00:32:03,280
- Where's that one come from?
- [Lisa] What?
684
00:32:03,440 --> 00:32:05,520
- [Jeremy] One of the gilts got in.
- Oh shit.
685
00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:07,920
- Which was which now?
- [Jeremy] Which one was it?
686
00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:09,360
[Lisa] Er...
687
00:32:09,800 --> 00:32:10,880
This one?
688
00:32:11,880 --> 00:32:13,440
Yeah, this one. The little ginger.
689
00:32:13,600 --> 00:32:15,280
[Jeremy] Well, we've gotta get that back.
690
00:32:15,480 --> 00:32:19,120
Oh, Christ. I fucking hate farming!
691
00:32:19,600 --> 00:32:20,440
Come on.
692
00:32:20,640 --> 00:32:21,480
Come on.
693
00:32:23,520 --> 00:32:24,640
No, no, stop it.
694
00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:26,040
Stop it.
695
00:32:26,200 --> 00:32:27,080
Go. No, stop.
696
00:32:27,240 --> 00:32:29,760
You, stop. Stop. Stop.
697
00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:31,960
[Jeremy] As I tried to grab
the young filly,
698
00:32:32,120 --> 00:32:36,440
the older lady pig got cross that
her boyfriend was suddenly interested
699
00:32:36,600 --> 00:32:39,080
in a slimmer alternative.
700
00:32:39,720 --> 00:32:40,880
No, no, stop it.
701
00:32:41,040 --> 00:32:42,200
She's jealous.
702
00:32:43,120 --> 00:32:44,640
He's going to pork her.
703
00:32:45,640 --> 00:32:47,000
He's on already.
704
00:32:47,640 --> 00:32:50,400
But the big sow wants to be porked. Look.
705
00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:56,200
Look, if I pretend
to be shagging her here,
706
00:32:56,360 --> 00:32:57,960
she's gonna leave that one alone, right?
707
00:32:58,120 --> 00:32:59,720
Yes, but we've got
to keep this one... No.
708
00:32:59,920 --> 00:33:01,880
Look, look, look. She's jealous.
709
00:33:02,040 --> 00:33:05,000
[Jeremy] The only solution
was to distract the older sow
710
00:33:05,160 --> 00:33:07,760
with something better than sex.
711
00:33:08,200 --> 00:33:10,360
- [Jeremy] Have a ginger nut biscuit.
- No, she...
712
00:33:10,560 --> 00:33:12,640
- [Jeremy] Look at this.
- She doesn't know it's not the boar now.
713
00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:14,160
[Jeremy] You see?
714
00:33:14,800 --> 00:33:16,640
I'm trying to spot if his cock...
Yes, his cock's out!
715
00:33:16,840 --> 00:33:18,480
- [Lisa] Okay.
- His cock's out!
716
00:33:18,640 --> 00:33:21,240
- And in. It's in.
- [Lisa] She doesn't know...
717
00:33:21,440 --> 00:33:22,480
[Jeremy] No, let him finish.
718
00:33:22,640 --> 00:33:25,080
- [Lisa] That I'm not...
- No, let him just finish.
719
00:33:25,240 --> 00:33:27,240
[Lisa] Get the biscuits, darling.
Get the biscuits!
720
00:33:27,400 --> 00:33:29,480
- But which one for?
- For this one.
721
00:33:29,640 --> 00:33:31,840
Look, she's fascinated
by the whole thing.
722
00:33:32,400 --> 00:33:34,920
No, don't put your face in it.
Oh, God.
723
00:33:35,080 --> 00:33:36,400
Here, have a biscuit.
724
00:33:37,040 --> 00:33:37,840
[Lisa] Oh God.
725
00:33:38,040 --> 00:33:40,240
[Jeremy] It's the longest...
Come on, man.
726
00:33:40,400 --> 00:33:43,080
[Lisa] Jeremy,
I think you should be doing this bit.
727
00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:44,600
[squealing]
728
00:33:45,600 --> 00:33:46,720
[Jeremy] Has he not finished yet?
729
00:33:46,880 --> 00:33:49,200
[Lisa] Jeremy, can you do
on the back of her, please?
730
00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:50,600
And I'll do the biscuits.
731
00:33:50,800 --> 00:33:51,680
[Jeremy] Come here.
732
00:33:51,880 --> 00:33:54,920
Right. She's got to think
that she's having sex.
733
00:33:55,080 --> 00:33:58,480
And I'm now giving her that impression,
according to my book.
734
00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:02,440
Oh, but she's having a biscuit
and sex simultaneously.
735
00:34:02,960 --> 00:34:04,240
And she prefers biscuits.
736
00:34:04,400 --> 00:34:07,120
- [Lisa] Here, biscuits, biscuits.
- Will you hurry up?
737
00:34:08,320 --> 00:34:09,480
Honestly.
738
00:34:10,560 --> 00:34:11,720
You're having sex.
739
00:34:11,880 --> 00:34:14,560
Lovely, romantic, it's Barry White.
740
00:34:21,640 --> 00:34:24,640
No, don't!
Lisa, just pay attention to the pig!
741
00:34:24,840 --> 00:34:26,760
- You're going to interrupt-
- [Lisa] Biscuits, biscuits.
742
00:34:26,920 --> 00:34:28,280
Don't pull it out.
743
00:34:29,520 --> 00:34:31,360
He must finish in a minute.
744
00:34:33,040 --> 00:34:34,040
Oh, he has!
745
00:34:34,160 --> 00:34:35,880
Huge quantities of sperm.
746
00:34:36,760 --> 00:34:38,400
[Lisa] No, no, no.
747
00:34:38,560 --> 00:34:40,880
[Jeremy] Back it goes.
The porkscrew is away.
748
00:34:41,040 --> 00:34:42,160
[Lisa] Okay, quickly.
749
00:34:42,360 --> 00:34:44,640
[Jeremy] Eventually,
we got all the pigs sexed
750
00:34:44,840 --> 00:34:47,400
and back to where
they were supposed to be.
751
00:34:48,160 --> 00:34:49,960
And I could relax.
752
00:34:51,080 --> 00:34:52,200
- [Jeremy breathing]
- [Lisa whining]
753
00:34:52,400 --> 00:34:53,640
[Jeremy] Oh shit.
754
00:34:55,320 --> 00:34:56,160
What the hell?
755
00:34:58,960 --> 00:35:00,480
What the hell is that?
756
00:35:02,280 --> 00:35:05,680
Has one of the pigs
been sick in my pocket?
757
00:35:05,880 --> 00:35:06,960
[Lisa] You're kidding?
758
00:35:07,360 --> 00:35:09,160
- [Jeremy] Look.
- [Lisa] What the...?
759
00:35:09,360 --> 00:35:11,880
[Jeremy panting with laughter]
760
00:35:12,400 --> 00:35:14,320
[Jeremy] What the bloody hell's that?
761
00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:16,680
- [Lisa] Is that? Is it?
- [Jeremy] Ugh.
762
00:35:17,360 --> 00:35:18,480
Ugh.
763
00:35:19,040 --> 00:35:20,800
For fuck's sake.
764
00:35:23,480 --> 00:35:25,160
[soft orchestral music]
765
00:35:38,480 --> 00:35:40,680
[Jeremy] It was now almost two months
766
00:35:40,920 --> 00:35:45,160
since the other Donny boy had planted
his wheat and beans in the field.
767
00:35:45,960 --> 00:35:47,800
And Charlie reckoned we should check up
768
00:35:47,960 --> 00:35:51,360
on how
his regenerative farming was going.
769
00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:57,120
[Jeremy] So can I just ask, Charlie?
All the stuff that looks like grass...
770
00:35:57,320 --> 00:35:59,200
- [Charlie] Yeah.
- Isn't grass? That's wheat?
771
00:35:59,400 --> 00:36:02,560
[Charlie] Yeah. That's wheat.
And then these here,
772
00:36:02,960 --> 00:36:03,800
they're beans.
773
00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:06,000
- [Jeremy] Were beans.
- Look, I picked up the roots.
774
00:36:06,160 --> 00:36:07,320
That's quite exciting.
775
00:36:07,480 --> 00:36:09,760
[Jeremy] And this is
what Kaleb said won't work...
776
00:36:09,920 --> 00:36:11,480
[Charlie] He said
the drill wouldn't work.
777
00:36:11,640 --> 00:36:13,400
- [Jeremy] Well, it has.
- Correct.
778
00:36:13,560 --> 00:36:15,400
- That's bloody good, isn't it?
- [Charlie] Yeah.
779
00:36:15,600 --> 00:36:18,920
Who knew? Old Groove Armada's
done a good job in here.
780
00:36:19,080 --> 00:36:20,960
Well, it looks okay.
781
00:36:21,160 --> 00:36:21,960
And then...
782
00:36:22,760 --> 00:36:25,160
Look, there's no disease. They're clean.
783
00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:28,800
Look at all those worms, Jeremy!
That's what he'll get excited about.
784
00:36:28,960 --> 00:36:31,280
- [Jeremy] Who? He will?
- Yeah. Earthworms.
785
00:36:32,160 --> 00:36:33,640
[Charlie] Do you know what this shows?
786
00:36:33,840 --> 00:36:36,280
[Jeremy] It shows that you've uprooted
a perfectly healthy plant,
787
00:36:36,440 --> 00:36:38,160
- thus depriving me of some cash.
- There's some nodules on there.
788
00:36:38,320 --> 00:36:40,480
Since we're here,
we might as well have a biology lesson.
789
00:36:40,640 --> 00:36:42,080
There's some nodules on here.
790
00:36:42,280 --> 00:36:44,800
And that's the bit
that the magic happens in the legume
791
00:36:44,960 --> 00:36:47,960
where it makes nitrogen
from the atmosphere
792
00:36:48,120 --> 00:36:50,120
and stores it in the plant.
793
00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:52,160
- That's what we're trying to do?
- [Charlie] Yes.
794
00:36:52,360 --> 00:36:53,680
But back in the soil, isn't it?
795
00:36:53,880 --> 00:36:57,520
Well, this won't release the soil
till we kill it and destroy it.
796
00:36:57,680 --> 00:37:00,160
But they've gone pink.
See how it's fleshy pink in there?
797
00:37:00,360 --> 00:37:02,840
- [Jeremy] Yeah.
- Which means they're active.
798
00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:06,640
[Charlie] The bacteria in your soil
are making nitrogen.
799
00:37:07,200 --> 00:37:11,000
A man from Groove Armada
is making nitrogen in my soil.
800
00:37:11,160 --> 00:37:12,480
Nobody's ever said that before.
801
00:37:12,640 --> 00:37:14,640
It's never been used as a sentence.
802
00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:16,800
[dramatic music]
803
00:37:16,960 --> 00:37:19,000
[Jeremy] Charlie and I
then headed to the office
804
00:37:19,160 --> 00:37:22,360
to discuss
the council's enforcement notice.
805
00:37:23,640 --> 00:37:26,160
Which didn't just
shut down the restaurant.
806
00:37:26,680 --> 00:37:30,960
It made running the farm shop
nigh on impossible as well.
807
00:37:32,080 --> 00:37:34,000
They wanted us to close the small bar
808
00:37:34,160 --> 00:37:37,040
where customers could buy
my Hawkstone beer.
809
00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:42,480
They didn't want us
parking cars in the fields.
810
00:37:42,640 --> 00:37:45,280
And said the loos had to go.
811
00:37:46,120 --> 00:37:50,080
And worst of all, they were insisting
we shut the burger van.
812
00:37:50,840 --> 00:37:53,000
Check on one burger,
two truffle, one chilli.
813
00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:54,360
Thank you very much.
814
00:37:54,840 --> 00:37:58,440
[Jeremy] Which was now the only
realistic way of selling our meat.
815
00:37:59,200 --> 00:38:01,160
[waitress] Thank you very much.
Thank you.
816
00:38:02,760 --> 00:38:06,320
[Jeremy] The restaurant,
I could never see that coming back,
817
00:38:07,040 --> 00:38:10,440
but we had to do something
to protect our shop.
818
00:38:12,360 --> 00:38:14,320
- Farm shop.
- Farm shop.
819
00:38:14,520 --> 00:38:17,400
- We've got some choices to make.
- Okay.
820
00:38:17,560 --> 00:38:19,680
If they make
that enforcement notice stick,
821
00:38:19,920 --> 00:38:21,160
"no car parking",
822
00:38:21,360 --> 00:38:22,920
they'll ban parking on the road,
823
00:38:23,080 --> 00:38:25,920
and we won't be able
to sell anything other than an apple.
824
00:38:26,600 --> 00:38:30,520
So I was thinking,
why don't we try and move the farm shop
825
00:38:31,120 --> 00:38:31,920
up here?
826
00:38:32,080 --> 00:38:35,280
That's out of Chadlington's
parish council area.
827
00:38:35,440 --> 00:38:37,160
And more importantly, this bit
828
00:38:37,360 --> 00:38:40,160
isn't in the Area
of Outstanding Natural Beauty.
829
00:38:40,400 --> 00:38:42,640
- No.
- So what if we put it there?
830
00:38:42,800 --> 00:38:44,640
We just close it down here.
831
00:38:44,840 --> 00:38:47,840
Massive losses
with all of the work we've done,
832
00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:51,400
you know, getting power there,
getting the loos installed,
833
00:38:51,560 --> 00:38:53,120
concrete floor, everything,
834
00:38:53,320 --> 00:38:55,480
- building the shop itself.
- Yeah.
835
00:38:55,640 --> 00:38:57,520
So why don't we go
to the council and say:
836
00:38:57,640 --> 00:39:01,800
"How would you feel if we moved the shop
into the top end of the farm?"
837
00:39:01,960 --> 00:39:04,600
So, I get the theory,
I get the logic, but...
838
00:39:05,040 --> 00:39:06,520
I knew there'd be a "but".
839
00:39:06,640 --> 00:39:09,200
There's no guarantee
that they will grant permission here.
840
00:39:09,440 --> 00:39:11,960
So what we should do is...
841
00:39:12,360 --> 00:39:13,160
Erm...
842
00:39:13,320 --> 00:39:16,000
- Personally, I feel...
- You think fight it?
843
00:39:16,160 --> 00:39:18,200
I don't think "fight"
is necessarily the right word.
844
00:39:18,400 --> 00:39:19,480
It's the emotive word.
845
00:39:19,640 --> 00:39:22,960
But actually what I think we should do
is put our views across
846
00:39:23,160 --> 00:39:25,320
in a sensible, logical, objective way,
847
00:39:25,480 --> 00:39:27,400
- which has not been...
- Fight the fuckers.
848
00:39:27,560 --> 00:39:28,640
Which has not been done.
849
00:39:28,840 --> 00:39:31,000
Hammer them
into the ground like tent pegs.
850
00:39:31,160 --> 00:39:33,760
I think some of their points probably
we do need
851
00:39:33,920 --> 00:39:36,200
- to be more forceful than others.
- [Jeremy] Yeah.
852
00:39:36,400 --> 00:39:39,120
- And such as, you know...
- Lavatories.
853
00:39:39,320 --> 00:39:40,280
Yeah.
854
00:39:40,480 --> 00:39:41,880
They say we can't have a lavatory.
855
00:39:42,040 --> 00:39:45,560
So when you're a shopgirl there
and you're not allowed to go to the...
856
00:39:45,760 --> 00:39:48,800
- There won't be a lavatory.
- Or a shop-boy. You could be either.
857
00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:51,840
It's more difficult.
A boy can go behind a bush.
858
00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:53,640
If you need to go to the loo
859
00:39:53,880 --> 00:39:56,560
you have to get in a car, close the shop,
860
00:39:56,680 --> 00:39:59,640
come all the way down, back up.
So there is a problem.
861
00:40:00,160 --> 00:40:02,000
Anyway, I think what we should do...
862
00:40:02,160 --> 00:40:03,360
To not move it.
863
00:40:03,520 --> 00:40:04,520
Not move it.
864
00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:06,520
- Speak to a barrister.
- Not fight them.
865
00:40:06,640 --> 00:40:09,440
And then we put in a robust,
866
00:40:10,200 --> 00:40:11,920
- objective response.
- Robust.
867
00:40:12,120 --> 00:40:13,160
Yes.
868
00:40:13,360 --> 00:40:15,160
Well, I've been watching Yellowstone.
869
00:40:16,520 --> 00:40:18,360
When somebody displeases them,
they murder them,
870
00:40:18,560 --> 00:40:21,520
take them across the state line
and throw them into a ravine.
871
00:40:22,400 --> 00:40:25,000
- I've been looking at that scene a lot.
- [Charlie chuckles]
872
00:40:25,160 --> 00:40:26,960
[rock music]
873
00:40:28,880 --> 00:40:31,160
[Jeremy] Charlie retreated
to his own office
874
00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:33,840
to start work on the appeal.
875
00:40:36,840 --> 00:40:38,080
And while he did that,
876
00:40:38,200 --> 00:40:42,440
Lisa and I went back
to the muddy business of pig farming.
877
00:40:46,960 --> 00:40:49,000
[Jeremy] Oh shit. Look at this.
878
00:40:49,560 --> 00:40:51,120
[engine roaring]
879
00:40:54,800 --> 00:40:56,800
We're stuck as I don't know what now.
880
00:40:57,000 --> 00:40:58,480
[engine keeps roaring]
881
00:41:00,640 --> 00:41:03,160
- [Lisa] We're stuck in the mud.
- Yeah, this ain't going.
882
00:41:03,360 --> 00:41:04,760
[Lisa] They're coming out
to see the show.
883
00:41:04,920 --> 00:41:06,280
[Jeremy] Yes, they're coming out
to laugh at me.
884
00:41:07,280 --> 00:41:08,280
[Jeremy] Look, they are...
885
00:41:08,440 --> 00:41:10,040
[Lisa and Jeremy laughing]
886
00:41:10,160 --> 00:41:12,920
[Lisa] Look at them!
They're hilarious! Their little ears!
887
00:41:13,080 --> 00:41:15,520
- [Jeremy] "Look at our ears! Our ears!"
- They're gonna line up and laugh at us.
888
00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:18,160
- [Jeremy] They're growing so fast.
- They really are, yeah.
889
00:41:18,360 --> 00:41:20,920
[engine keeps roaring]
890
00:41:21,960 --> 00:41:24,600
Right. I think we're gonna have
to accept this is going to stay here
891
00:41:24,760 --> 00:41:28,360
until either we get some frost or...
892
00:41:28,520 --> 00:41:30,880
No, if I get the tractor,
we can pull it out with that.
893
00:41:32,360 --> 00:41:37,080
[Jeremy] As I returned with the Lambo,
Lisa and I got a bit of a surprise.
894
00:41:38,160 --> 00:41:39,160
[Kaleb] Hi, Lisa.
895
00:41:39,520 --> 00:41:41,960
[Lisa] Hey. Oh, hey, K!
How were the hols?
896
00:41:42,120 --> 00:41:44,080
[Jeremy] Judith! You're back!
897
00:41:44,680 --> 00:41:47,040
- Judith?
- [Jeremy] Judith Chalmers.
898
00:41:47,160 --> 00:41:48,000
[Kaleb] Who's that?
899
00:41:48,160 --> 00:41:51,160
- Holiday person. Doesn't matter.
- I've been on holiday once.
900
00:41:52,200 --> 00:41:53,480
[Jeremy] What do you think?
901
00:41:56,760 --> 00:41:58,040
[Lisa] Not bad, right?
902
00:41:58,640 --> 00:41:59,560
Not bad?
903
00:41:59,680 --> 00:42:01,320
[Lisa] Yeah! Look.
904
00:42:01,480 --> 00:42:04,160
Last time I see this field,
it was a lovely potato field.
905
00:42:04,320 --> 00:42:07,440
I know, but now look at it.
It's a massive pig enterprise.
906
00:42:08,040 --> 00:42:09,320
[Kaleb sighs]
907
00:42:10,000 --> 00:42:14,440
- [Jeremy] I know, it's brilliant, innit?
- Firstly... Firstly hear me out.
908
00:42:14,960 --> 00:42:16,520
Who the fuck done the fencing?
909
00:42:16,640 --> 00:42:17,640
[Jeremy] We did!
910
00:42:17,800 --> 00:42:18,600
Who's "we"?
911
00:42:18,760 --> 00:42:22,560
[Jeremy] Lisa and me.
In a rainstorm, at night,
912
00:42:22,680 --> 00:42:24,560
we got the whole fencing done.
913
00:42:24,760 --> 00:42:26,680
- [Kaleb] Look at it!
- What's the matter with it?
914
00:42:26,920 --> 00:42:29,680
Well, firstly, you haven't
even got all the posts the same height.
915
00:42:29,880 --> 00:42:31,360
[Lisa] But that doesn't matter, Kaleb.
916
00:42:31,520 --> 00:42:32,440
It does!
917
00:42:32,600 --> 00:42:34,640
And there's the road!
Look! Again, I can't...
918
00:42:34,800 --> 00:42:36,000
[Lisa] Don't be picky.
919
00:42:36,160 --> 00:42:39,280
- [Jeremy] What's wrong with the road?
- Everyone's gonna see it. It looks shit.
920
00:42:39,440 --> 00:42:42,280
- [Jeremy] Oh, I see-
- Look! Look down that line.
921
00:42:42,480 --> 00:42:44,120
Did you use a string line or not?
922
00:42:44,280 --> 00:42:46,080
- [Jeremy] What?
- Did you use a string line?
923
00:42:46,200 --> 00:42:47,680
[Lisa] We didn't really
have time for that.
924
00:42:47,920 --> 00:42:50,040
We were really... We had to do it.
It was a rush job.
925
00:42:50,160 --> 00:42:52,040
[Jeremy] Anyway, we've done it.
926
00:42:52,160 --> 00:42:55,440
Not one has escaped.
We put a sign on the road saying:
927
00:42:55,600 --> 00:42:57,560
"Kaleb built these fences."
928
00:42:58,400 --> 00:43:00,320
- It's just all brilliant.
- [Kaleb sighs]
929
00:43:00,480 --> 00:43:02,160
- So...
- The pigs look amazing, actually.
930
00:43:02,320 --> 00:43:04,440
[Jeremy] Let me explain
how it works, because...
931
00:43:04,600 --> 00:43:06,600
- [Kaleb] Piggy!
- I've been reading a book.
932
00:43:06,800 --> 00:43:09,160
- We've got the weaners there.
- [Kaleb] Yeah.
933
00:43:09,320 --> 00:43:13,000
We've got the boar
and two sows in here.
934
00:43:13,160 --> 00:43:14,760
But we started there
935
00:43:14,920 --> 00:43:17,560
and then we put him in there
with three sows.
936
00:43:17,680 --> 00:43:20,760
- Three sows? Hang on.
- So he's now done the lot.
937
00:43:22,200 --> 00:43:24,920
Honestly, there's been pig orgy going on.
938
00:43:25,400 --> 00:43:26,760
- You put the boar in here.
- [Jeremy] Yeah.
939
00:43:26,920 --> 00:43:29,360
And then in a week's space
you put it in with the other lot?
940
00:43:29,560 --> 00:43:30,480
Yeah.
941
00:43:32,280 --> 00:43:33,280
What's wrong with that?
942
00:43:33,440 --> 00:43:35,160
[Kaleb scoffs]
943
00:43:35,800 --> 00:43:37,680
No, you're joking?
You're kidding?
944
00:43:37,880 --> 00:43:39,960
Please, tell me you're lying?
945
00:43:40,520 --> 00:43:41,600
No.
946
00:43:41,960 --> 00:43:44,000
[Kaleb] Have you counted their nipples?
947
00:43:44,760 --> 00:43:47,280
- No.
- A pig's got, like, 14 nipples.
948
00:43:47,480 --> 00:43:49,960
Yeah?
They have litters of, like, 10 to 14.
949
00:43:50,160 --> 00:43:51,640
But well, I've done it.
950
00:43:51,800 --> 00:43:53,640
Yeah, but you space it out a little bit.
951
00:43:53,800 --> 00:43:56,960
You don't have
50 piglets at the same time.
952
00:43:57,960 --> 00:44:01,160
You're gonna have 50 small little piglets
running around at the same time.
953
00:44:02,040 --> 00:44:03,000
Honestly!
954
00:44:03,800 --> 00:44:04,880
[Kaleb scoffs despairingly]
955
00:44:05,080 --> 00:44:06,200
Fucking hell!
956
00:44:08,680 --> 00:44:11,520
{\an8}[expert] I'd be highly cautious about
doing anything around these banks.
957
00:44:13,080 --> 00:44:14,000
[Jeremy] Oh yeah!
958
00:44:15,040 --> 00:44:15,840
[shouts]
959
00:44:16,040 --> 00:44:19,880
Shit! I've never seen
incompetence like it.
960
00:44:20,560 --> 00:44:21,400
Oh!
961
00:44:21,600 --> 00:44:23,040
I am...
962
00:44:24,520 --> 00:44:25,320
flabbergasted.
963
00:44:25,520 --> 00:44:26,600
[upbeat music]