1 00:00:06,080 --> 00:00:08,360 [theme music playing] 2 00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:11,160 [birds chirping] 3 00:00:12,280 --> 00:00:14,160 [pigs grunting] 4 00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:26,200 {\an8}[Jeremy] Sansa! Heel, heel, heel. 5 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:28,360 {\an8}Dogs! No, dogs, come here. 6 00:00:28,720 --> 00:00:30,160 {\an8}- [dog barking] - Bollocks. 7 00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:33,200 {\an8}[Lisa] Piggly squats. 8 00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:35,760 {\an8}[Jeremy] Hello, piggies. 9 00:00:35,960 --> 00:00:37,120 How are you all? 10 00:00:38,680 --> 00:00:39,600 Piggies! 11 00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:43,440 [Lisa] These are the girls, they're very playful. 12 00:00:43,600 --> 00:00:44,880 [pigs squeaking] 13 00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:48,760 These are all the pregnant mothers. 14 00:00:50,240 --> 00:00:51,560 [Jeremy] It was now early March, 15 00:00:51,720 --> 00:00:55,600 and the explosion of newborn Piggly Squat piglets 16 00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:57,720 was due to hit the farm at any moment. 17 00:00:59,280 --> 00:01:01,120 [Lisa] Are you going to give birth? 18 00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:05,400 [upbeat music] 19 00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:10,160 [Jeremy] Also, as it was March, Kaleb was busy with the spring crops 20 00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:15,280 and I'd come up with an idea which I thought might help him along. 21 00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:18,920 [Jeremy] We're running out of space. 22 00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:21,040 - What's in here? - [Kaleb] Fertiliser. 23 00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:23,800 [Lisa] What? What the fuck? 24 00:01:23,960 --> 00:01:25,640 [Jeremy] I bought a hovercraft. 25 00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:28,880 [Lisa stutters] Talk to me! 26 00:01:29,680 --> 00:01:31,960 [Jeremy] Well, as you know, I love hovercrafts. 27 00:01:32,120 --> 00:01:34,080 My plan is... He doesn't know this yet. 28 00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:35,800 I know you're stunned. 29 00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:38,400 - A little bit. - It's for you. 30 00:01:39,480 --> 00:01:41,720 [Jeremy] And, as odd as that sounded, 31 00:01:41,880 --> 00:01:45,000 I wasn't actually talking nonsense. 32 00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:47,960 [retro jingle] 33 00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:52,800 [newscaster] Hovercraft are making a bid to be the farmer's best friend. 34 00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:54,880 There's no more of that dead weight on the axles 35 00:01:55,040 --> 00:01:57,120 and the truck moves with ease over the muddiest surface. 36 00:01:58,400 --> 00:02:00,920 That means the farmer can get his work done when he wants, 37 00:02:01,360 --> 00:02:04,720 whereas with an ordinary tractor, it would be impossible. 38 00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:08,920 Now there's a hopeless position for you. Well and truly stuck. 39 00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:11,840 Temper, temper! 40 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:14,840 You can always get one of those hover trucks with a bit of skirt. 41 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:21,280 [beep] 42 00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:23,440 [truck beeping] 43 00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:25,160 [Jeremy] My plan was simple: 44 00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:29,000 if we used a hovercraft to spray the crops with fertiliser... 45 00:02:29,160 --> 00:02:30,160 Perfect. 46 00:02:31,280 --> 00:02:35,720 [Jeremy] Then we could do away with the tramlines that normal sprayers need, 47 00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:41,320 so we could plant crops where those tramlines normally go. 48 00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:45,360 I did the calculation last night. 49 00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:47,840 Do you know how many miles of tramline there are on this farm? 50 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:49,560 - How many miles? - 54. 51 00:02:50,080 --> 00:02:51,600 - What? - 54 miles of tramline. 52 00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:53,240 And they're about that wide. 53 00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:54,960 So that adds up to... 54 00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:59,560 Well, I did the cost of lost crop. It's £5,200 a year. 55 00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:03,200 - Wow. - [Jeremy] Now, with this, no tramlines. 56 00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:04,520 [upbeat music] 57 00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:07,360 [Jeremy] Obviously, I then had to explain to Kaleb 58 00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:11,320 that operating a hovercraft is a bit more tricky 59 00:03:11,520 --> 00:03:12,960 than driving a tractor. 60 00:03:13,680 --> 00:03:14,560 [Jeremy] So you've got two engines. 61 00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:16,000 Yeah. 62 00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:18,520 This is your lift engine, 63 00:03:18,680 --> 00:03:19,920 that fills the skirt with air. 64 00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:22,320 Then, once you've got the lift, 65 00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:24,920 you start your right-hand engine. 66 00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:26,520 This is your throttle. 67 00:03:27,560 --> 00:03:28,920 Okay. It's not the brake? 68 00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:31,160 No. You have no brakes. 69 00:03:31,560 --> 00:03:33,920 [Jeremy] Right? You see, these are your handlebars. 70 00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:37,200 - You see they turn the flaps on the back. - [Kaleb] Okay, yeah. Yeah. 71 00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:38,320 They make no difference. 72 00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:40,520 - [Kaleb] Okay. - Absolutely no difference. 73 00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:43,080 If you see an obstacle, and you do that, you're going to hit it. 74 00:03:43,240 --> 00:03:46,480 You have to lean. So basically, you're either like this... 75 00:03:46,680 --> 00:03:48,760 You sort of lean, get right over like that. 76 00:03:48,920 --> 00:03:50,880 - [Kaleb] And that steers it? - And that will make it go right. 77 00:03:51,040 --> 00:03:53,520 And then, get over like that, and that... 78 00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:55,480 Get as much weight as you can, as far over. 79 00:03:55,640 --> 00:03:58,480 - [Kaleb] And that'll steer it. - And that'll steer it along with... 80 00:03:58,640 --> 00:03:59,560 - [Kaleb] That. - The handlebars. 81 00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:02,600 But effectively, you've no braking and no steering. 82 00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:04,400 Okay. Can I have a go before I start spraying? 83 00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:06,280 Yes, I think that's a very good idea. 84 00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:09,960 [engine roaring] 85 00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:12,680 [Jeremy] This feels so good, telling you what to do. 86 00:04:16,760 --> 00:04:18,360 [Jeremy] Oh, now it's going. 87 00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:19,680 [Jeremy] Wow ! 88 00:04:19,840 --> 00:04:21,000 Lean! 89 00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:24,560 [Kaleb] Hang on... I'm leaning! 90 00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:26,520 [screaming] 91 00:04:27,360 --> 00:04:28,200 [screaming] 92 00:04:28,360 --> 00:04:29,160 Oh, my God! 93 00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:31,320 [Jeremy] Come on, man, you're supposed to going in a straight line. 94 00:04:31,520 --> 00:04:32,560 This is useless! 95 00:04:32,760 --> 00:04:34,360 [Jeremy] That's as straight as a roundabout! 96 00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:36,320 [Kaleb] All right, turn! 97 00:04:36,480 --> 00:04:37,240 [Jeremy] Lean! 98 00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:38,760 - Lean! - [Kaleb groans] 99 00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:41,240 Lean and power! 100 00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:46,360 My young apprentice is doing well. 101 00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:48,880 [Kaleb] I've got it. 102 00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:50,360 [groaning] 103 00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:52,880 [grunting] 104 00:04:53,080 --> 00:04:54,800 [Jeremy] Fallen out. He's fallen out. 105 00:04:55,720 --> 00:04:56,640 [Kaleb] Ah! 106 00:04:58,040 --> 00:04:59,160 Not good. 107 00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:00,800 Come on, you clown. 108 00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:06,920 I need to learn this shit, I'm going spraying. 109 00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:11,080 [Kaleb] Turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn. 110 00:05:11,240 --> 00:05:13,720 You see, it's just gliding over the weeds. 111 00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:16,200 [Kaleb] Turn, turn, turn. No... Turn. 112 00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:20,200 We get the spray fitted, fertiliser applied. 113 00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:22,560 [Kaleb] Turn, turn, turn. 114 00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:27,040 [Kaleb grunts] 115 00:05:28,720 --> 00:05:31,240 [Jeremy] All we need to do is teach him how to stop. 116 00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:35,880 [Jeremy] With the driving lesson successfully concluded, 117 00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:39,840 it was time to test the hovercraft as a crop sprayer. 118 00:05:41,840 --> 00:05:43,600 Tell you what, you look like a shit gimp. 119 00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:46,000 [Kaleb laughs] 120 00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:48,800 - [Jeremy] This is liquid... - [Kaleb] Fertiliser. 121 00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:50,480 [Jeremy] Liquid nitrate. 122 00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:53,120 - [Kaleb] Yeah. - [Jeremy] It's phenomenally corrosive. 123 00:05:53,880 --> 00:05:58,120 [Jeremy] Once Kaleb had finished filling my bespoke fertiliser tanks, 124 00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:00,760 we were ready for the off. 125 00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:01,720 [Kaleb] You ready? 126 00:06:01,920 --> 00:06:02,720 Yup. 127 00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:05,160 [rock music] 128 00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:07,600 [Jeremy] Go ahead, my young apprentice. 129 00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:10,160 [upbeat music] 130 00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:11,920 [Kaleb] Yee-haw! 131 00:06:14,360 --> 00:06:15,560 [Kaleb laughs] 132 00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:18,080 [Jeremy] Oh, it's spraying, it's spraying. 133 00:06:18,280 --> 00:06:20,240 [music continues] 134 00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:26,360 [Kaleb] I'm getting good at this! 135 00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:28,880 Woohoo! 136 00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:30,280 [Jeremy] Hey, this isn't bad. 137 00:06:30,480 --> 00:06:32,480 Now just go a little bit to the left of that. 138 00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:34,920 [Kaleb] Yeah. On my way. 139 00:06:38,120 --> 00:06:41,520 [Jeremy] But then, after exactly 75 seconds... 140 00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:50,720 Kaleb, is there any spray coming out? 141 00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:53,160 [Kaleb] No. 142 00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:56,200 Oh, for fuck's sake. 143 00:06:57,040 --> 00:06:58,160 [Jeremy] Is that it? 144 00:06:58,320 --> 00:06:59,400 [Kaleb] Oh, I'm empty. 145 00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:02,040 - [Jeremy] And how big's this field? - 20 acres. 146 00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:04,680 [Jeremy] How many times are you going to have to refill with fertiliser? 147 00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:07,640 [Kaleb] Er-- 25 times. 148 00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:09,200 You're joking. 149 00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:12,040 [Kaleb] It's going to take me about 8 hours to spray this field. 150 00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:15,280 That means I've got to spend 8 hours in this gimp suit. 151 00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:21,760 I think we stick to the sprayer, please. 152 00:07:22,880 --> 00:07:24,040 Can you please undress me? 153 00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:27,320 [Kaleb laughs] 154 00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:30,760 Cut. 155 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:37,440 [Jeremy] Clearly, I needed bigger fertiliser tanks on the hovercraft, 156 00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:40,200 which meant it would need more powerful engines 157 00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:42,360 to deal with the extra weight. 158 00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:44,000 That was a big job. 159 00:07:44,160 --> 00:07:45,920 And there was no time to do it 160 00:07:46,080 --> 00:07:48,000 because the next day... 161 00:07:48,560 --> 00:07:50,320 winter came back. 162 00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:52,320 [wind howling] 163 00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:58,440 [soft music] 164 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:02,320 [pig grunting] 165 00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:06,960 [Jeremy] And then the next night, 166 00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:09,560 our feed from the cameras in the pigloos 167 00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:13,360 suggested one of the Mums was about to give birth. 168 00:08:13,520 --> 00:08:14,840 [pig grunting softly] 169 00:08:20,520 --> 00:08:21,520 [pig grunting softly] 170 00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:25,280 [soft grunts continue] 171 00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:32,640 [pig groaning] 172 00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:39,240 [Lisa] Let's see how she's getting on. 173 00:08:40,480 --> 00:08:41,960 - [piglet squeaking] - [Lisa gasps] 174 00:08:42,160 --> 00:08:44,760 [Jeremy] Look, there's an actual piglet. 175 00:08:45,480 --> 00:08:47,200 That's her first baby ever. 176 00:08:49,640 --> 00:08:52,040 Oh, I think we've got a problem here. 177 00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:57,280 [Jeremy] Concerned that the piglet was not finding a teat to drink from, 178 00:08:58,040 --> 00:09:00,000 Lisa went in to help. 179 00:09:00,880 --> 00:09:03,080 [Lisa] Oh my gosh, there's a teat, there. 180 00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:05,320 Oh, she's on the teat. 181 00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:06,520 Good little one. 182 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:11,160 It's March 10th, it shouldn't be this cold. 183 00:09:11,320 --> 00:09:12,360 The climate is changing. 184 00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:16,880 Somebody needs to mention that 185 00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:19,000 because it's really bad. 186 00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:21,080 [pig sighing] 187 00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:24,000 [Jeremy] This is the best bit of farming I've had so far. 188 00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:26,320 How many will we get? 189 00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:29,080 How many teats has this one got, 16? 190 00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:33,200 - [Lisa] Yeah, yeah, that's 16. - So she could have 16 piglets. 191 00:09:35,440 --> 00:09:38,880 [Jeremy] This joy, however, soon turned into concern 192 00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:40,640 because over an hour went by 193 00:09:41,640 --> 00:09:43,840 and no more piglets appeared. 194 00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:47,320 [Jeremy] Come on. Come on Mum. 195 00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:49,600 One's not enough. 196 00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:52,840 [Lisa] Come on, you can do it. Come on. 197 00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:55,520 [Jeremy] I was told they were born like machine gun bullets. 198 00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:58,120 You know they go duh-duh-duh... 199 00:09:59,280 --> 00:10:00,120 [pig groaning] 200 00:10:00,280 --> 00:10:01,880 [Jeremy] Come on Mum. 201 00:10:02,520 --> 00:10:04,520 She's properly wobbling. 202 00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:10,400 I would say that is a pig in distress. 203 00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:15,520 [phone dialling out] 204 00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:19,480 - The vet's not answering. - Welcome to the EE voicemail... 205 00:10:19,640 --> 00:10:21,360 And neither is Kaleb. 206 00:10:21,880 --> 00:10:23,040 Shite! 207 00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:24,760 [phone dialling] 208 00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:27,760 [Jeremy] Eventually though, one of the vets answered. 209 00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:29,000 [Jenny] Hello? 210 00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:33,320 Hi, there. It's Jeremy Clarkson here at Diddly Squat Farm. 211 00:10:33,480 --> 00:10:34,280 Hum... 212 00:10:34,440 --> 00:10:35,640 [Jenny] Hey, what's going on? 213 00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:37,840 Well, we've got a gilt 214 00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:40,440 who's given birth to one piglet an hour and 20 minutes ago 215 00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:42,520 and seems to be in some distress. 216 00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:44,640 And nothing else has come since. 217 00:10:44,840 --> 00:10:48,400 Is that normal, an hour and 20 minutes between births, or should we be worried? 218 00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:50,480 - [Jenny] An hour and 20, did you say? - Yeah. 219 00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:52,720 [Jenny] It's usually much faster than that. 220 00:10:52,880 --> 00:10:55,640 Is she actively pushing or does she just look like she's moving around? 221 00:10:55,800 --> 00:10:58,200 Does she look uncomfortable? 222 00:10:58,360 --> 00:10:59,880 She looks, I would say, uncomfortable, 223 00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:03,000 but Lisa keeps telling me that's how people look-- 224 00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:06,720 Well... How creatures look when they're giving birth. 225 00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:09,880 I mean, she's vibrating and snorting and... 226 00:11:10,040 --> 00:11:12,520 I'd say it looked like she's in distress 227 00:11:12,680 --> 00:11:15,120 but I'm a man, I have no idea what I'm talking about so... 228 00:11:15,280 --> 00:11:16,200 [Jenny laughing] 229 00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:19,680 Lisa's gone back to the farm to see if she can find a rubber glove 230 00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:23,320 and is very happy to pop in there and have a look... A feel. 231 00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:25,680 [Jenny] Yeah, that might be the first-- the best thing to do, 232 00:11:25,880 --> 00:11:28,480 because it's easier for you to have a feel and see if you can feel anything. 233 00:11:28,640 --> 00:11:31,560 So yeah, have you got any lube up there as well? 234 00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:32,960 Lisa will have some lube. 235 00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:34,800 Don't put that on television. 236 00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:36,440 [Jenny] That's fine... if you go to feel in there 237 00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:38,080 and see if she can feel a piglet, 238 00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:41,040 if she can feel front legs or back legs 239 00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:44,200 and they feel like they're coming in the normal position. 240 00:11:44,360 --> 00:11:45,480 [Jeremy] She can give them a bit of a tug? 241 00:11:45,680 --> 00:11:48,280 Okay. Thanks, Jenny. Take care, bye. Bye. 242 00:11:48,480 --> 00:11:50,400 I have those, but I also have... 243 00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:52,280 Oh, perfect. 244 00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:55,160 I don't know if I'll be able to feel much. I think I prefer those. 245 00:11:55,720 --> 00:11:58,800 Okay. Well, let's get in there quickly because it's nearly two hours now. 246 00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:03,040 [Jeremy] According to Jenny, you put your hand in 247 00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:06,480 and if you can feel legs or head, you've got to try and tease it out. 248 00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:09,000 If it's sideways, we've got to give her a call. 249 00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:12,480 [Lisa] Good girl, good girl, good girl. 250 00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:17,120 [Lisa grunting] 251 00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:20,320 Oh, I'm so sorry. 252 00:12:20,760 --> 00:12:22,440 [Jeremy] She's stopped. She's really stopped. 253 00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:24,200 [Lisa] Okay, I'm in. I'm in, I'm in. 254 00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:26,280 - [Jeremy] And? - I'm in. 255 00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:29,320 - Oh, my God, that's so far up. - [Jeremy] Can you feel a piglet? 256 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:33,760 [Lisa] I'm not... No. I really can't feel anything. 257 00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:35,640 They're so far in. 258 00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:38,360 - [Jeremy] I'm going to ring Jenny again. - Please, ring Jenny. I-- 259 00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:39,960 [Jeremy] Okay, no, no. Well done. 260 00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:43,280 [Jenny] We can either give her an injection of oxytocin 261 00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:44,240 which sometimes helps 262 00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:48,280 or in the meantime we can get her up and walk her around. 263 00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:49,400 What? Get her out and walk her? 264 00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:51,640 [Jenny] If you try and get her and move her around a little bit 265 00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:54,040 - sometimes it stimulates everything. - Okay. 266 00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:56,080 [Lisa] Oh, nice. 267 00:12:56,760 --> 00:12:59,080 [Jeremy groans] It's so cold. 268 00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:00,560 [Lisa sighs] 269 00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:03,960 [Lisa groans] 270 00:13:07,640 --> 00:13:08,720 [Jeremy] Come on, pig. 271 00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:12,600 She's not going to in a million years. She's in labour. 272 00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:14,200 [Lisa] Did the vet say: "Just walk her around"? 273 00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:18,680 When you were in labour, if someone had come in with a Maccy D, 274 00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:21,560 you wouldn't have said: "Oh, I'll follow that." You wouldn't. 275 00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:23,760 - [Lisa] No, although she's a pig. - Oh, she's coming! 276 00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:26,440 I can't believe it! 277 00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:29,080 - [Lisa laughs] - [Jeremy] She's actually in labour 278 00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:31,560 and she's come out for a Maccy D. 279 00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:34,400 [Jeremy] Hum... 280 00:13:35,880 --> 00:13:38,400 [Lisa] I'm bonding. I'm bonding with my piglet. 281 00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:40,520 - [pig squeaking] - [Jeremy] No, don't let her in. 282 00:13:40,680 --> 00:13:43,400 - [Lisa laughs] - [Jeremy] No! She's treading on me. 283 00:13:43,560 --> 00:13:45,920 No! Fucking hell, what's going on? 284 00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:48,560 I can't find... The pig has beaten me. 285 00:13:48,720 --> 00:13:49,920 Jesus. 286 00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:52,640 I've been in a wrestling match with a pig. 287 00:13:54,160 --> 00:13:55,560 - [Lisa] In you go. - [Jeremy] Lisa? 288 00:13:55,720 --> 00:13:57,760 We've got to get her out for a walk. 289 00:13:57,920 --> 00:13:59,560 That's what the vet said. 290 00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:01,160 [pig grunting] 291 00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:04,640 - Lisa. - [Lisa] She's having huge contractions. 292 00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:06,880 She's been for a walk and she's having... 293 00:14:07,040 --> 00:14:08,800 She hasn't been for a walk! [Jeremy stutters] 294 00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:10,960 If I did that, you wouldn't call that a walk. 295 00:14:11,120 --> 00:14:14,000 [Lisa] It's coming. It's coming, it's coming. We have a piglet. Yes! 296 00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:17,520 [Jeremy] It's steaming, it's steaming! She's steaming, there's steam. 297 00:14:17,680 --> 00:14:18,920 [Lisa] It's a big piglet. 298 00:14:20,040 --> 00:14:21,800 [Jeremy] There you go, come here. 299 00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:23,600 Come here slithery girl. 300 00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:25,440 That's two. 301 00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:28,880 [Lisa] There's a fart. That's another piglet coming. 302 00:14:29,040 --> 00:14:29,960 - [Jeremy] Is it? - [Lisa] Yup. 303 00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:31,560 [Jeremy] Pig coming. Pig coming. 304 00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:35,040 Yes, look. Pig three. 305 00:14:35,240 --> 00:14:38,640 Lisa, he's attached-- she's attached to her mother. What do I do? 306 00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:39,800 [Lisa] What, what, what? 307 00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:42,920 - She's attached with a stringy thing. - [Lisa] No, that's fine, 308 00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:45,680 it's the umbilical cord. It's part of it. It's part of the process. 309 00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:46,680 [squeaking] 310 00:14:47,160 --> 00:14:49,360 - [Jeremy] Go on, lick it. - [Lisa] Oh, my God, it's so cute. 311 00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:51,040 [Jeremy] Three pigs! 312 00:14:51,880 --> 00:14:53,280 Good mother. 313 00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:58,280 [Jeremy] Over the next couple of hours, seven more were born. 314 00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:00,680 [piglets squeaking and pig grunting] 315 00:15:04,640 --> 00:15:06,280 And after a quick nap, 316 00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:09,400 we came back to see how everything was going. 317 00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:11,800 [Jeremy] Morning, piggies. 318 00:15:12,320 --> 00:15:13,600 Well done, Mum. 319 00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:16,440 Ten piggies. 320 00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:17,400 - [Lisa] Jeremy? - What? 321 00:15:17,560 --> 00:15:20,240 [Lisa] There's one here not moving. Have a look. Can you go in? 322 00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:21,840 [Jeremy] Oh no. 323 00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:23,600 [Lisa] Are they okay? 324 00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:25,240 Darling, are they okay? 325 00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:26,360 [Lisa gasps] 326 00:15:28,040 --> 00:15:32,800 Oh no, it's a big healthy one too. Did you get... 327 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:35,640 Did you get laid on? 328 00:15:35,840 --> 00:15:36,840 [Jeremy] Oh no. 329 00:15:37,280 --> 00:15:38,240 - [Lisa gasps] - [Jeremy] Lisa? 330 00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:41,120 - [squeaking] - Whoa! She's just sat on another one. 331 00:15:41,280 --> 00:15:42,640 [Lisa] Oh, look... 332 00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:44,040 [Jeremy] She's obviously squashing them. 333 00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:47,080 [Lisa] They're perfect. You're a big lovely one. 334 00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:49,720 And you're a sweet little sow. 335 00:15:49,880 --> 00:15:52,640 [Jeremy] So we've got two, three, four, five. 336 00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:55,200 Wait a minute, seven. She's lying on one. 337 00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:57,440 There's only seven. 338 00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:00,080 Shit! Shit, shit, shit. 339 00:16:00,240 --> 00:16:02,440 - Where's the other one gone? - [Lisa] Behind you. 340 00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:04,960 [Jeremy] I think she's lying on one of them again. 341 00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:07,720 - [Lisa] Okay, yeah. - [Jeremy] Yes, there is one behind her. 342 00:16:07,920 --> 00:16:10,120 Oh, for fuck's sake. She's squashed it again. 343 00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:12,440 - You are a shit mother. - [Lisa] No, she's not. 344 00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:14,240 [Jeremy] She is. She was lying on one of them. 345 00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:16,640 That's how 2 of them have obviously died. 346 00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:18,640 - [Lisa] But she's shattered. - Look, there it is. 347 00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:22,160 Three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Right, they're all... 348 00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:23,840 That's better, now. 349 00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:27,040 You mustn't sit on your children. 350 00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:31,600 You do realise we've got this every night now for a week. 351 00:16:31,760 --> 00:16:33,640 We kind of messed up, didn't we? 352 00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:34,840 - We did. - Yeah. 353 00:16:37,280 --> 00:16:39,120 [Jeremy] Sure enough, that night... 354 00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:41,240 [pig grunting] 355 00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:44,480 Another sow started giving birth. 356 00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:48,040 But this time to a litter of only three. 357 00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:51,320 [Jeremy] How are you doing, Mum? 358 00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:53,240 [pig grunting] 359 00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:55,000 So now... 360 00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:57,600 The first one gave birth to ten, 361 00:16:58,360 --> 00:17:00,720 sat on two of them, so we're down to eight. 362 00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:02,560 Nine, ten, eleven. 363 00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:05,400 And one has been born down here, this morning. 364 00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:06,520 That's 12. 365 00:17:07,120 --> 00:17:08,960 She is so enormous. 366 00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:13,800 Oh, look at you! Yes. 367 00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:19,200 So we've got Clumsy Pig, that sat on two of her piglets and killed them. 368 00:17:19,320 --> 00:17:20,800 Swiz Pig, 369 00:17:20,960 --> 00:17:24,400 that promised to deliver 10 or 12 or 16 piglets 370 00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:25,800 and delivered only three. 371 00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:28,200 And now we've got Unit Pig! 372 00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:32,760 There was-- How did that happen? 373 00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:37,280 I was literally talking to the camera man for two seconds, 374 00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:39,920 I've looked back in there and there's another one come out. 375 00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:43,560 This is a good pig, she's birthing well. 376 00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:48,960 [Jeremy] Lisa arrived just in time to see Unit pop number three out. 377 00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:51,680 [Jeremy] There's another one! 378 00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:54,080 [upbeat music] 379 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:55,240 [Lisa] Oh! 380 00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:58,000 Come on out. Come on, come on. 381 00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:02,680 [Jeremy] By the end of the morning, Unit had produced ten piglets. 382 00:18:03,680 --> 00:18:06,960 And because she was an experienced Mum who'd had litters before, 383 00:18:08,280 --> 00:18:10,720 she seemed to know what she was doing. 384 00:18:11,320 --> 00:18:13,200 [Jeremy] Well done, Mum! 385 00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:19,080 [Jeremy] However, when we checked in later on... 386 00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:22,000 [Lisa] We've got one, two, three, four, 387 00:18:22,160 --> 00:18:24,560 five, six, seven, eight, nine. 388 00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:26,240 [both] Oh... 389 00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:27,560 [Lisa] Fuck it. 390 00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:30,040 Oh no. 391 00:18:31,280 --> 00:18:32,080 Oh... 392 00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:36,200 I can't bear it. Another one. 393 00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:39,080 - [Jeremy] She's obviously squidged it. - [Lisa] Yeah... 394 00:18:39,680 --> 00:18:42,440 [Jeremy] We then went to check on the other Mums. 395 00:18:42,560 --> 00:18:44,800 - [Jeremy] And then this is eight left. - [Lisa] Yeah. 396 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:46,320 [Jeremy] Because two died. 397 00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:49,880 There's only seven. She can't have killed another one. 398 00:18:50,080 --> 00:18:52,920 [Lisa gasps] Oh no... 399 00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:56,080 [Lisa whimpers] 400 00:18:56,240 --> 00:18:58,560 Oh, for fuck's sake! 401 00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:00,240 [sighs] 402 00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:02,680 [Lisa] Oh my God, that's so upsetting. 403 00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:06,560 [Jeremy] Bottom line, we'd now lost four piglets 404 00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:09,480 as well as three of the five surprises that had come along 405 00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:12,080 just over two months earlier. 406 00:19:12,520 --> 00:19:14,400 [Jeremy] Oh, they're adorable. 407 00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:16,880 [Jeremy laughs] 408 00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:20,320 - Seven piglets have died. - [Lisa] Out of? 409 00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:23,400 Twenty-eight. A quarter of them have died. 410 00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:26,440 What are we doing wrong? 411 00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:29,320 [tense music] 412 00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:36,960 [Jeremy] Worried that we were indeed making some terrible mistake... 413 00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:38,200 - [Lisa] Hi. - [Jeremy] How are you? 414 00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:39,200 Vanessa. 415 00:19:39,320 --> 00:19:42,240 [Jeremy] We consulted our neighbours, Vanessa and Andy, 416 00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:44,880 who'd been pig farmers for years. 417 00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:50,680 [Jeremy] Seven piglets, 25% of the piglets have been squashed, 418 00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:53,440 - which is a lot, isn't it? - [Andy] Yes, it is. 419 00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:55,280 But I mean, how... 420 00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:56,560 [Jeremy] Mothers sitting on them. 421 00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:58,080 Okay. I mean, it's not uncommon. 422 00:19:58,560 --> 00:20:00,800 [Vanessa] They are classically terrible mothers. 423 00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:02,800 Some are worse than others. 424 00:20:03,040 --> 00:20:04,800 This breed is classically terrible? 425 00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:05,800 [Vanessa and Andy] Yes. 426 00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:08,520 [Andy] Well, and pigs in general just... 427 00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:11,400 One thing about the arcs is that 428 00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:14,760 if they're in a big house altogether with other sows, 429 00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:20,240 the other sows do sort of tell the one who's sat on her piglets. 430 00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:23,160 They will make some fuss. They notice it. 431 00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:25,240 If you've got a bad mother, the others will tell them it. 432 00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:28,280 [soft music] 433 00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:30,480 [Jeremy] Having processed this information, 434 00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:32,320 we then spoke with Kaleb. 435 00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:35,400 The biggest problem is, the piglets are cold. 436 00:20:35,560 --> 00:20:36,800 Now, when the Mum lays down... 437 00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:40,320 The Mum stands up to go and eat, the piglets are going: "Fuck, it's cold." 438 00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:41,920 It's cold, so they find each other. 439 00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:44,800 And then the pig comes back in, the sow comes back in, 440 00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:46,400 then they find the warmth automatically. 441 00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:47,800 So when the pig starts to lay down, 442 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:50,680 - it's trying to get near the warmth ASAP. - [Jeremy] Of the pig. 443 00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:51,720 [Kaleb] Do you see what I mean? 444 00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:53,640 - It was bloody cold last night. - [Kaleb] Yeah. 445 00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:56,440 And this is why you're losing so many piglets. 446 00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:58,800 It's not because you're a bad pig farmer, you're really good. 447 00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:01,320 And I'm being nice. You are good. You are good. 448 00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:03,080 [pig grunting] 449 00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:05,440 [Jeremy] So now we knew why the piglets were dying, 450 00:21:05,920 --> 00:21:08,720 but we couldn't work out what to do about it. 451 00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:10,160 [Lisa whimpers] 452 00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:13,200 And that night, we lost another. 453 00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:17,960 And we had a new problem, 454 00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:23,560 because the remaining pregnant sow was showing absolutely no sign 455 00:21:23,720 --> 00:21:25,280 of giving birth. 456 00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:29,320 Her milk hasn't even come down. How can she be so far behind? 457 00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:31,880 [Jeremy] She could be barren. 458 00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:33,560 Shall we call her Barren? 459 00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:35,560 Baroness. 460 00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:37,000 [Jeremy] Well, this is your favourite one, this is. 461 00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:39,920 [Lisa] Yes, this is my friend. She's so gentle. 462 00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:41,440 [Jeremy] She's very lovely. 463 00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:45,160 [Jeremy] She was also eating very little, 464 00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:48,240 so we called out Jenny the vet. 465 00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:51,160 - [Jenny] So this is our poorly pig. - [Lisa] She's very sweet. 466 00:21:51,360 --> 00:21:55,360 I hear she's not eating very well, so that can't be good for anybody. 467 00:21:55,560 --> 00:21:57,440 It means we should hopefully be close. 468 00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:02,440 Doubtless, Lisa will now arrange for it to be taken away in a luxury ambulance 469 00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:07,000 and put into a kind of pig nursing home 470 00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:10,520 with streaming television to watch. 471 00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:14,360 [Lisa] She's had that food in front of her now 472 00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:17,120 for 12 hours or more. 18 hours? 473 00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:20,000 And she kind of sits there, and she doesn't even move. 474 00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:22,840 She kind of puts her tongue out, almost, and takes a bit. 475 00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:24,600 She snuffles up a bit, she doesn't eat like a pig. 476 00:22:24,800 --> 00:22:27,920 [Jenny] Yeah, which makes me think that something's not right. 477 00:22:28,120 --> 00:22:31,600 - She does look really not very happy... - [Lisa] Yeah. 478 00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:33,320 ...in the way she's moving. 479 00:22:33,480 --> 00:22:36,760 She's got a rasp in her breathing when you're listening to her lungs, 480 00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:39,760 so I'm wondering whether she's got a touch of infection going on there. 481 00:22:39,920 --> 00:22:42,000 So what I probably will be inclined to do 482 00:22:42,440 --> 00:22:45,120 is give her an anti-inflammatory, give her an antibiotic, 483 00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:46,560 see how she goes. 484 00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:49,840 Sorry, darling, you're not going to like this very much. 485 00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:51,360 Good girl. 486 00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:54,920 [pig squeaking] 487 00:22:58,080 --> 00:22:59,560 Okay, she's done. 488 00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:00,720 [Jeremy] Well done. 489 00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:03,440 [Lisa] She's pregnant, right? 490 00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:06,120 [Jenny] She definitely looks really heavy down low, 491 00:23:06,280 --> 00:23:08,360 which suggests that she might be pregnant. 492 00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:10,480 So that's good. Good girl! 493 00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:12,000 - Thanks, Jenny. - Let us know if she's not getting better. 494 00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:13,200 Yeah, will do. 495 00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:16,040 [soft music] 496 00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:22,040 [Jeremy] While we were waiting anxiously for Baroness to go into labour, 497 00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:25,280 bigger events were unfolding around us. 498 00:23:26,360 --> 00:23:28,680 [tense music] 499 00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:31,200 Down at West Oxfordshire District Council, 500 00:23:31,360 --> 00:23:35,200 a government inspector had arrived to adjudicate on our appeal 501 00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:38,320 against the enforcement notice. 502 00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:42,760 We'd been advised not to attend, 503 00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:45,840 so instead, we went into overdrive 504 00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:49,800 to make sure everything in the farm shop was super local, 505 00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:54,200 council compliant and completely above board. 506 00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:58,840 This... Ned, who works for us, he's just turned sixteen, 507 00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:01,520 these are his biscuits, he makes them on his own kitchen. 508 00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:03,280 Granola, that's a girl down the road. 509 00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:06,160 Flour comes from that field over there. 510 00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:08,560 These are all made up in our kitchen. 511 00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:10,840 This, a neighbour down the road makes. 512 00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:14,560 This... This is Mrs. Viktor. Viktor does our honey, 513 00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:17,920 And Mrs. Viktor makes her soap using our honey. 514 00:24:18,120 --> 00:24:19,840 This is using-- 515 00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:21,760 Our delicious jerky 516 00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:24,560 using our chillies again. We're growing more chillies this year. 517 00:24:24,760 --> 00:24:28,200 These are made in Chipping Norton from a local baker. 518 00:24:28,360 --> 00:24:31,240 This... This is made using our wheat. 519 00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:35,240 Err... Over here this is our gin. That's made in Burford. 520 00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:37,960 The pottery is made from a local lady. 521 00:24:38,160 --> 00:24:39,840 So this is our past chilli... 522 00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:43,680 The programme's only 40 minutes long and you've been 28 minutes... 523 00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:44,640 Shush then. 524 00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:49,400 [Jeremy] Of equal importance was the future of the burger van 525 00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:51,120 because with no restaurant, 526 00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:55,680 this had become the only way of selling our beef and pork at a profit. 527 00:24:57,040 --> 00:24:59,480 [Annie] I need a burger and a truffle and parmesan for this, chef. 528 00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:00,440 Thank you. 529 00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:05,200 [Jeremy] Annie, who runs the van, had been to the council hearing that day 530 00:25:05,360 --> 00:25:09,520 to plead the case for her business to stay open. 531 00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:11,720 Vomit, what's it like? 532 00:25:11,920 --> 00:25:13,960 It's a big room, and then there are, 533 00:25:14,120 --> 00:25:15,800 at the back of the room, sort of, twelve rows 534 00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:19,120 of eight across seats with an aisle down the middle. 535 00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:23,440 Then you've got the council on one side with their legal representation, 536 00:25:23,640 --> 00:25:27,360 and then the guy presiding over the top of all looking down at you. 537 00:25:27,560 --> 00:25:29,240 - Has he got a beard? - No. 538 00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:30,320 Oh, that's good. 539 00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:31,360 You go in. 540 00:25:31,560 --> 00:25:34,760 I was late because of a severe lack of parking, the irony. 541 00:25:34,920 --> 00:25:35,800 [Jeremy laughs] 542 00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:38,600 So I went in and found a seat next to Emma, 543 00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:41,840 who does the milk, so I thought at least I've got an ally. 544 00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:45,040 And then he said would anyone from the floor like to comment? 545 00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:47,560 I stood up and I said: "My name is Annabel Gray, 546 00:25:47,720 --> 00:25:50,440 I grew up in a farming community. 547 00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:52,640 I lived in the countryside most of my life. 548 00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:55,720 Now I run the catering trailer behind Diddly Squat." 549 00:25:55,880 --> 00:25:58,440 At which point there was a gasp around the room. 550 00:25:58,600 --> 00:25:59,400 360s. 551 00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:00,560 I was like: "Oh, gosh. Here we go." 552 00:26:00,720 --> 00:26:02,800 And I said: "I'm really passionate about this. 553 00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:05,920 You have got something which could be a massive asset. 554 00:26:06,080 --> 00:26:09,200 Yes, it's not perfect, you know. I hide no secrets. 555 00:26:09,360 --> 00:26:10,960 There are stuff we need to deal with, 556 00:26:11,120 --> 00:26:14,040 but no one knows what you're next going to get upset about. 557 00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:17,280 So give us the infrastructure to make it something brilliant." 558 00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:20,360 [Lisa] Exactly. They said we could have one lavatory, that was sufficient. 559 00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:23,280 And they said that nine car parking spaces were sufficient. 560 00:26:23,800 --> 00:26:27,800 The council guy that I've just witnessed is saying based on ten spaces, 561 00:26:27,960 --> 00:26:31,040 everyone get in, get out the car, you've got five minutes to run round. 562 00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:32,080 If you wanna grab something, 563 00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:34,680 you've got to be back in your car in five minutes and out. 564 00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:37,400 - In and out in five minutes? - In five minutes. Yeah. 565 00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:40,480 So if somebody disabled turns up, I don't know how quickly he can get out. 566 00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:42,960 Let's time him next time. "You've got five minutes." 567 00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:47,400 But did you get a sense of how it's going down there? 568 00:26:47,880 --> 00:26:48,680 [Annie sighs] 569 00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:50,560 Are they still trying to claim it isn't a farm shop? 570 00:26:50,720 --> 00:26:53,800 Yeah, they're saying that people come and buy things 571 00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:56,960 but actually, it's an entertainment and leisure facility. 572 00:26:57,560 --> 00:27:00,560 This is what pisses me off though because I look at that... 573 00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:02,040 Every single thing. 574 00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:05,800 [Jeremy] I know where that bread came from, the wheat, the beer. 575 00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:07,800 And I look out there and see your operation. 576 00:27:08,520 --> 00:27:10,960 And that's where all the meat goes that's cooked in bread 577 00:27:11,160 --> 00:27:12,880 - that's also made with wheat from here. - In the farms. 578 00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:15,200 And you think it couldn't be more of a farm. 579 00:27:15,360 --> 00:27:17,360 Admittedly, when it first started, 580 00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:19,680 we were taking the piss slightly, but now... 581 00:27:20,360 --> 00:27:22,720 But I did love when the council said 582 00:27:22,880 --> 00:27:26,680 people are driving past other farm shops which are better. 583 00:27:26,840 --> 00:27:30,440 And you just think, our cows are grass-fed. 584 00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:31,400 [Annie] Yeah. 585 00:27:31,560 --> 00:27:33,040 Nurtured through the winter, 586 00:27:33,240 --> 00:27:35,840 the highest possible quality 587 00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:37,720 and the council... 588 00:27:37,920 --> 00:27:39,240 And it's not really their business. 589 00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:42,880 They're saying: "Go to another farm shop, they have better quality produce." 590 00:27:43,840 --> 00:27:46,160 And if they close you down, we have no way... 591 00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:48,040 If you get closed, we're fucked. 592 00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:49,920 Anyway, thank you ever so much. 593 00:27:52,680 --> 00:27:54,920 [overlapping conversations] 594 00:27:55,360 --> 00:27:57,200 Chadlington football shirt. 595 00:27:59,760 --> 00:28:02,800 "My shirt is better than your shirt." 596 00:28:03,520 --> 00:28:04,480 I like that. 597 00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:09,400 Oh, Lisa! These are my scales from the kitchen. 598 00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:11,600 - Lisa! - [Lisa] What? 599 00:28:11,760 --> 00:28:14,040 These are my scales from the kitchen. 600 00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:16,240 - [Lisa] No, no, no. - Yes, they are! 601 00:28:16,400 --> 00:28:18,160 - [Lisa] No, no, no. - Yes, they are. I couldn't find them. 602 00:28:18,360 --> 00:28:20,040 You've nicked my scales. 603 00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:22,720 I might have needed to borrow them for a little bit for the veg. 604 00:28:22,920 --> 00:28:24,600 Why don't you buy the shop a pair? 605 00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:26,200 Because it's up here now. 606 00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:28,000 [sighs] I couldn't find those anywhere. 607 00:28:28,160 --> 00:28:30,880 - You don't need to weigh a chicken. - You do! 608 00:28:31,040 --> 00:28:33,880 You go "That's about 3 pounds," put it in the oven and see when it's cooked. 609 00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:37,080 Yes, which is why I always have salmonella when you've cooked. 610 00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:39,240 - Well, why don't you cook? - I do fucking cook! 611 00:28:39,400 --> 00:28:41,160 - Well then, you won't get salmonella. - That's why... 612 00:28:41,320 --> 00:28:42,360 I can't weigh anything. 613 00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:45,600 I never know how much anything weighs. I wondered where they'd gone. 614 00:28:46,320 --> 00:28:47,720 They're very good by the way. 615 00:28:47,920 --> 00:28:50,000 [upbeat music] 616 00:28:50,160 --> 00:28:52,680 [Jeremy] Having followed proceedings closely, 617 00:28:52,840 --> 00:28:57,240 Charlie reckoned it would be weeks before the inspector made a decision. 618 00:28:57,760 --> 00:29:00,680 So all we could do was get back to farming. 619 00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:03,080 Except we couldn't. 620 00:29:11,320 --> 00:29:12,400 [thunder] 621 00:29:12,560 --> 00:29:15,000 In mid-March, it started to rain, 622 00:29:15,840 --> 00:29:19,360 and it didn't stop for days. 623 00:29:25,560 --> 00:29:27,960 This hit Kaleb especially hard 624 00:29:28,120 --> 00:29:32,000 because it was too wet to plant his most valuable crop. 625 00:29:33,520 --> 00:29:35,600 The durum wheat is our big money crop, 626 00:29:35,760 --> 00:29:38,800 and it could pull a lot of money, especially for my board this year, 627 00:29:38,960 --> 00:29:42,200 it might potentially be profit and loss, so... 628 00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:45,040 We've grown it for the last two years and we've seen how good it can be, 629 00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:47,400 but annoyingly you need to get it in in perfect timing 630 00:29:47,560 --> 00:29:50,320 because if you don't, it suffers through the summer 631 00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:52,240 and then the yields are normally down. 632 00:29:52,640 --> 00:29:54,360 Hum... I wanted to... Yeah. 633 00:29:54,520 --> 00:29:55,440 [rain pouring] 634 00:29:55,600 --> 00:29:57,840 It's never going to stop raining, I don't think. 635 00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:02,640 [Jeremy] The endless wetness meant we couldn't work on the dam either. 636 00:30:03,920 --> 00:30:04,960 [Jeremy] Not a chance. 637 00:30:05,120 --> 00:30:07,040 [Kaleb] It's a lot of water, isn't it? 638 00:30:07,200 --> 00:30:09,640 [Jeremy] It's basically washed the clay away, look. 639 00:30:10,160 --> 00:30:11,960 Well, we've got to wait for the water to go down. We cannot... 640 00:30:12,120 --> 00:30:13,080 Yeah. 641 00:30:14,120 --> 00:30:15,000 I agree. 642 00:30:15,840 --> 00:30:17,160 I wanna go farming. 643 00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:18,880 - [Jeremy] You can't, it's raining. - I know. 644 00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:23,320 [thunder] 645 00:30:23,520 --> 00:30:26,040 ["Golden Brown" by The Stranglers] 646 00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:37,680 [Jeremy] There was though some good news from the pig wood, 647 00:30:37,840 --> 00:30:41,600 because thankfully there had been no more piglet deaths. 648 00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:43,680 [soft squeaking] 649 00:30:43,880 --> 00:30:46,160 [music continues] 650 00:31:00,800 --> 00:31:03,800 Baroness, though, still hadn't gone into labour. 651 00:31:03,960 --> 00:31:05,000 [grunting] 652 00:31:09,120 --> 00:31:13,960 And despite a week of antibiotics, she was clearly no better. 653 00:31:16,360 --> 00:31:18,960 Slept outside last night because she's so hot. 654 00:31:19,800 --> 00:31:21,400 [Lisa] She's not eating at all. 655 00:31:22,360 --> 00:31:23,960 I don't know what we're doing wrong. 656 00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:25,400 Something, right? 657 00:31:26,080 --> 00:31:27,120 I mean... 658 00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:28,840 This is... [groans] 659 00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:30,400 It's heart-breaking. 660 00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:33,360 [Jeremy] Oh, Jenny's here, look. 661 00:31:33,520 --> 00:31:35,080 Still unwell? 662 00:31:35,240 --> 00:31:36,080 [Jeremy] Yeah. 663 00:31:36,280 --> 00:31:38,000 - She slept outside last night. - [Jenny] Yeah. 664 00:31:38,200 --> 00:31:40,840 So her temperature went down probably because she slept outside. 665 00:31:41,040 --> 00:31:43,160 - [Jenny] Yeah. - [Jeremy] But her breathing is laboured. 666 00:31:43,320 --> 00:31:45,120 [Jenny] Yeah, I'll take the second temperature. 667 00:31:45,320 --> 00:31:48,160 but it could be that if she's got pregnant 668 00:31:48,320 --> 00:31:51,200 and then had the piglets die inside, 669 00:31:51,360 --> 00:31:53,520 they might not be triggering her to give birth, 670 00:31:53,680 --> 00:31:56,160 but they might be sitting there, 671 00:31:56,360 --> 00:31:59,440 - rotting inside her. - What do you do in that situation? 672 00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:02,680 Possibly try and induce her so she'll kick them out. 673 00:32:03,400 --> 00:32:07,360 [Jeremy] Without more ado, we began the inducement procedure. 674 00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:10,840 If the piglets are dead, 675 00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:12,840 then we'll just concentrate on getting her well again, 676 00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:15,240 - and then... - Yeah. Yeah. 677 00:32:19,120 --> 00:32:21,280 [Jenny] Behind the ear. Inject. 678 00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:22,320 - [Lisa] Is that it? - [Jenny] Yeah. 679 00:32:22,520 --> 00:32:24,680 So three o'clock tomorrow, 680 00:32:24,840 --> 00:32:26,600 with the second injection, which you'll do. 681 00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:27,720 [Lisa] Yeah, I can do that. 682 00:32:27,920 --> 00:32:30,680 It only should be a small amount, not like that big antibiotic injection. 683 00:32:30,840 --> 00:32:31,680 No, exactly. 684 00:32:31,840 --> 00:32:33,720 So you've only got a small amount and it should go really easily. 685 00:32:33,880 --> 00:32:34,840 [Lisa] Okay, that's fine. 686 00:32:36,160 --> 00:32:37,760 [soft music] 687 00:32:43,360 --> 00:32:45,680 [Lisa] I'm going to give her this 688 00:32:45,840 --> 00:32:48,360 and then in four to twelve hours' time, 689 00:32:48,520 --> 00:32:51,880 she should be starting to give birth. 690 00:32:54,440 --> 00:32:56,800 There we go. Oh, my God, hello my friend. 691 00:32:56,960 --> 00:32:58,760 - [pig grunting] - Done. 692 00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:00,960 Yup! 693 00:33:02,120 --> 00:33:03,440 [soft music] 694 00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:06,480 [Jeremy] By late afternoon, the medicine started to work, 695 00:33:07,040 --> 00:33:10,120 and she gave birth to a piglet that was alive. 696 00:33:10,280 --> 00:33:11,760 [piglet squeaking] 697 00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:14,240 [pig grunting] 698 00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:16,440 But there were still problems. 699 00:33:19,520 --> 00:33:21,160 So the whole process has started. 700 00:33:21,320 --> 00:33:24,320 She's given birth to one really small piglet. 701 00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:26,120 She has no milk, 702 00:33:26,280 --> 00:33:29,400 and the piglet is in there just looking for a teat 703 00:33:29,560 --> 00:33:30,680 and there's no food. 704 00:33:31,240 --> 00:33:32,120 How are we doing? 705 00:33:32,280 --> 00:33:34,720 [Lisa] She's had one, she has no milk. 706 00:33:36,120 --> 00:33:37,440 Look at that. 707 00:33:37,800 --> 00:33:38,600 [Jeremy] Oh, Jesus. 708 00:33:38,800 --> 00:33:40,560 [Lisa] It's absolutely tiny. 709 00:33:40,920 --> 00:33:43,840 - Have we got any pig milk? Like SMA? - No. 710 00:33:44,040 --> 00:33:46,560 [Jeremy] I mean, that's not a healthy piglet, is it? 711 00:33:46,760 --> 00:33:48,360 [phone dialling out] 712 00:33:48,520 --> 00:33:50,120 [Nathan] Hello, veterinary clinic. 713 00:33:50,320 --> 00:33:51,360 - [Jeremy] Hi, Nathan? - Hi, there. 714 00:33:51,520 --> 00:33:53,320 [Jeremy] Hi, it's Jeremy Clarkson up at Diddly Squat. 715 00:33:53,480 --> 00:33:54,320 [Nathan] Oh, yeah. 716 00:33:54,520 --> 00:33:57,120 Sorry to trouble you. I gather both Dilwyn and Jenny are not there, 717 00:33:57,280 --> 00:33:59,280 so I'm troubling you. 718 00:33:59,960 --> 00:34:00,800 - I don't... - [Nathan] That's all right. 719 00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:03,840 [Jeremy] I don't know if you're up to speed on our sickly sow. 720 00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:07,400 She's popped a piglet out that is the size of a mouse. 721 00:34:07,600 --> 00:34:09,560 She's not producing any milk. 722 00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:12,120 I was wondering if you had any suggestions. 723 00:34:12,240 --> 00:34:14,160 [Nathan] So basically, if she's not letting down any milk, 724 00:34:14,320 --> 00:34:15,800 it's because she's not producing any. 725 00:34:15,960 --> 00:34:17,360 So, the next step is basically going to be 726 00:34:17,560 --> 00:34:20,480 bottle feeding the piglets with some colostrum. 727 00:34:20,640 --> 00:34:23,000 Colostrum? Where do we get colostrum from? 728 00:34:23,160 --> 00:34:27,160 [Nathan] So, I think in this case it would probably be easiest if we use 729 00:34:27,360 --> 00:34:29,280 a sort of pre-made lamb colostrum. 730 00:34:29,440 --> 00:34:30,800 So I think what we'll do is 731 00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:33,360 we'll put some up at the practice for you to collect 732 00:34:33,520 --> 00:34:36,160 and it will be a case of following the instructions on it, 733 00:34:36,320 --> 00:34:39,600 mixing it up and bottle feeding the piglets with it. 734 00:34:39,800 --> 00:34:41,680 [Jeremy] All right, Nathan, thanks. Bye, bye. 735 00:34:41,920 --> 00:34:43,760 [Nathan] No worries, take care now, bye. 736 00:34:43,960 --> 00:34:45,160 [soft music] 737 00:34:45,360 --> 00:34:48,320 [Jeremy] A member of the film crew went off to get the formula 738 00:34:48,640 --> 00:34:50,560 and then Kaleb arrived... 739 00:34:50,760 --> 00:34:52,520 - Is she still trying to push? - [Lisa] Yeah. 740 00:34:53,080 --> 00:34:56,600 [Jeremy] Just as Baroness gave birth to piglet number 2. 741 00:34:56,760 --> 00:34:58,680 [Lisa] Oh! Yes, another one. 742 00:34:58,920 --> 00:34:59,840 [Jeremy] Is there another one? 743 00:35:00,040 --> 00:35:01,160 [Lisa] Yeah, we have another one. 744 00:35:01,320 --> 00:35:02,360 [Jeremy] Is it alive? 745 00:35:02,520 --> 00:35:03,840 [Lisa] Yeah. There we go. 746 00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:06,480 [Jeremy] God, is that one even smaller? Yeah. 747 00:35:07,320 --> 00:35:10,600 That one is unbelievably tiny. 748 00:35:11,080 --> 00:35:12,080 [piglet squeaking] 749 00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:14,400 [Lisa] "I'm fucking hungry!" I bet you are. 750 00:35:14,560 --> 00:35:15,440 [piglet squeaking] 751 00:35:15,640 --> 00:35:17,400 [pig grunting] 752 00:35:24,840 --> 00:35:27,160 [Jeremy] This one is weak as hell, Kaleb. 753 00:35:28,840 --> 00:35:30,840 One of them is as weak as hell. 754 00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:32,480 [Kaleb] That runt, that little tiny one? 755 00:35:32,640 --> 00:35:35,280 No, the bigger one. She can't open her mouth. 756 00:35:35,440 --> 00:35:38,960 She's just, you know... Her head's flopping around on the nipple. 757 00:35:40,600 --> 00:35:44,080 [Jeremy] Luckily, the formula milk was now ready to go. 758 00:35:45,520 --> 00:35:47,280 [Jeremy] All right. Well done. 759 00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:52,600 - That's it. - [Lisa] Almost. 760 00:35:59,960 --> 00:36:00,840 [Lisa] Good. 761 00:36:01,560 --> 00:36:02,640 That's perfect. 762 00:36:04,320 --> 00:36:06,160 [Jeremy] We'll make you a big strong pig. 763 00:36:07,480 --> 00:36:09,480 We'll have you up and about in no time. 764 00:36:11,320 --> 00:36:12,960 [upbeat music] 765 00:36:13,120 --> 00:36:17,280 [Jeremy] Then Nathan arrived and started to work vet miracles. 766 00:36:17,480 --> 00:36:18,640 [Nathan] We've got one. 767 00:36:18,840 --> 00:36:20,920 - [Lisa] He's okay? - [Nathan] Yup, alive. 768 00:36:22,160 --> 00:36:23,680 Here we go, another one. 769 00:36:24,600 --> 00:36:25,600 - [Jeremy] Lisa? - [Lisa] Yes? 770 00:36:25,760 --> 00:36:27,640 - [Jeremy] How many now? - [Lisa] Four. 771 00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:29,680 - [Jeremy] Are they all alive? - Yes. 772 00:36:29,880 --> 00:36:31,840 - [Jeremy] Are they tiny? - Yes. 773 00:36:32,320 --> 00:36:34,280 [Nathan] Hang on. I've got another one. 774 00:36:35,080 --> 00:36:38,600 [Jeremy] Soon, Baroness was mother to five piglets. 775 00:36:39,640 --> 00:36:42,400 [Nathan] I'm just going to put them all next to Mum for a bit of warmth. 776 00:36:43,080 --> 00:36:46,920 Because he's a bit cold there. Just pop them all together. 777 00:36:47,560 --> 00:36:49,920 [Jeremy] And having bottle fed them all, 778 00:36:50,120 --> 00:36:52,560 we went home to grab a bit of sleep. 779 00:36:54,160 --> 00:36:56,360 [piglets squeaking] 780 00:37:08,160 --> 00:37:09,680 The next morning, 781 00:37:09,920 --> 00:37:12,600 we found that three of the piglets had died. 782 00:37:14,120 --> 00:37:17,120 They'd simply been too weak to survive. 783 00:37:20,520 --> 00:37:23,680 We moved the remaining two to a heated pen at the farm, 784 00:37:23,880 --> 00:37:26,600 but even that wasn't working. 785 00:37:32,640 --> 00:37:34,440 [Jeremy] Another dead one. 786 00:37:37,360 --> 00:37:38,640 [Jeremy sighs] 787 00:37:43,120 --> 00:37:45,040 [Lisa] Oh! 788 00:37:47,080 --> 00:37:49,280 - Is that the only one that's left? - We've got one more. 789 00:37:50,840 --> 00:37:53,520 [Lisa] How's the mother? Is she okay? 790 00:37:53,680 --> 00:37:54,960 She's still alive. 791 00:37:55,120 --> 00:37:57,040 We're losing a lot of piglets. 792 00:37:57,160 --> 00:37:59,520 - What? - [Lisa] We're losing a lot of piglets. 793 00:38:00,560 --> 00:38:01,640 [Lisa sobs] 794 00:38:05,600 --> 00:38:07,440 It's really tough, isn't it? 795 00:38:08,360 --> 00:38:11,360 [Lisa] And this one, we just have to feed this one every 10 minutes or something. 796 00:38:11,520 --> 00:38:14,120 [Jeremy] I can't remember what the vet said. 797 00:38:14,760 --> 00:38:15,760 Come here, you. 798 00:38:15,920 --> 00:38:17,120 [piglet squeaking] 799 00:38:18,640 --> 00:38:20,080 We've still got a feisty one. 800 00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:22,400 [piglet squeaking] 801 00:38:23,640 --> 00:38:25,680 [Lisa] Is this the one that was born second? 802 00:38:26,080 --> 00:38:28,120 [Jeremy] I've lost count. I honestly don't know. 803 00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:33,480 We'll make it our life's mission to make that piglet survive. 804 00:38:33,640 --> 00:38:34,440 [Lisa] Yeah. 805 00:38:34,640 --> 00:38:35,840 And her mother. 806 00:38:36,640 --> 00:38:37,920 The mother will survive. 807 00:38:38,280 --> 00:38:39,680 I'll go down and see her now. 808 00:38:39,880 --> 00:38:41,840 - You're going down? - [Lisa sighs] 809 00:38:45,280 --> 00:38:46,640 [soft music] 810 00:38:46,880 --> 00:38:48,920 [thunder] 811 00:38:53,960 --> 00:38:57,760 [Jeremy] That night we did what even the most hard-hearted farmer will do 812 00:38:57,920 --> 00:38:59,880 at a time like this. 813 00:39:00,080 --> 00:39:01,160 Come on. There we go. 814 00:39:01,320 --> 00:39:06,000 [Jeremy] We took the sickly piglet into our kitchen to look after it there. 815 00:39:06,640 --> 00:39:07,800 There we go. 816 00:39:08,280 --> 00:39:09,120 Come on. 817 00:39:10,400 --> 00:39:11,320 There we go. 818 00:39:13,360 --> 00:39:15,400 Still a bit small. 819 00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:19,400 It's still a bit cold to be honest. Your ears are cold. 820 00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:21,680 [piglet squeaking] 821 00:39:21,920 --> 00:39:23,440 Okay, let's pop you back in there. 822 00:39:24,480 --> 00:39:26,680 Okay, get nice and warm. Yeah. 823 00:39:27,280 --> 00:39:29,680 Now, I'm not going to put you in, 824 00:39:29,880 --> 00:39:32,120 - but it's just a lot warmer here, okay? - [piglet squeaking] 825 00:39:32,280 --> 00:39:33,480 I know. I'm sorry. 826 00:39:33,640 --> 00:39:35,520 There we go, okay? 827 00:39:42,640 --> 00:39:45,080 [Jeremy] The next day, irony of ironies, 828 00:39:45,200 --> 00:39:49,320 we had to go to the farm shop to meet Andy Garcia the butcher. 829 00:39:49,480 --> 00:39:51,800 [Andy] There's lots of it. Let's take a look at it. 830 00:39:52,160 --> 00:39:56,600 [Jeremy] He'd finished preparing the pigs I'd recently taken to slaughter. 831 00:39:57,000 --> 00:40:00,360 [Andy] Seven boxes, two pigs' worth of pork in these. 832 00:40:00,560 --> 00:40:03,320 You should be doing the lifting, really. They're your pigs. 833 00:40:03,920 --> 00:40:06,960 You're young and I've seen you hold a pram 834 00:40:07,120 --> 00:40:11,160 - while aiming your gun at Al Capone. - Look at that. This is your favourite. 835 00:40:11,400 --> 00:40:13,280 - [Andy] These are belly pork strips. - [Lisa] Yum. 836 00:40:13,440 --> 00:40:15,000 [Andy] Pork chops there. 837 00:40:15,160 --> 00:40:18,080 You can tell they're really nice pigs because of the amount of fat on them. 838 00:40:18,280 --> 00:40:20,920 Whoever's looking after them is doing a great job. 839 00:40:21,080 --> 00:40:22,200 [Andy chuckles] 840 00:40:22,400 --> 00:40:24,640 Erm... You can see that they're going to eat really well. 841 00:40:24,880 --> 00:40:25,920 Lots of sausages. 842 00:40:26,080 --> 00:40:26,880 [Jeremy] Holy moly. 843 00:40:27,040 --> 00:40:29,160 [Andy] Carolina Reaper and honey sausages. 844 00:40:29,360 --> 00:40:31,880 - Oh, my giddy aunt. - [Andy] There's another box. 845 00:40:32,640 --> 00:40:34,400 Two pigs have produced... 846 00:40:34,600 --> 00:40:35,760 4, 8. 847 00:40:36,600 --> 00:40:40,480 - Jesus! - There's 36 packs of six in a box. 848 00:40:40,640 --> 00:40:43,320 [Lisa] Jeremy, Sandy and Black Forest Sausages. 849 00:40:43,480 --> 00:40:44,840 - [Andy] Sounds good. - [Lisa] Sounds good doesn't it. 850 00:40:45,040 --> 00:40:48,200 [Jeremy gasps] This is so good for my side of the chart. 851 00:40:48,440 --> 00:40:50,160 God, strewth, that's brilliant. 852 00:40:50,360 --> 00:40:53,600 Except it is so... One of the things I can't get my head around is, 853 00:40:53,800 --> 00:40:56,960 we're having a really tottering time with the piglet births. 854 00:40:57,120 --> 00:40:58,160 [Andy] Hmm. 855 00:40:58,320 --> 00:41:00,520 - Really tottering. - [Andy] Hmm-hmm. 856 00:41:00,640 --> 00:41:04,040 So you're up all night, sort of nurturing these pigs and trying to make them warm, 857 00:41:04,160 --> 00:41:06,560 trying to make them comfortable and trying to make them alive. 858 00:41:06,680 --> 00:41:07,800 [Andy] Yeah. 859 00:41:07,960 --> 00:41:10,680 - And then you break off... - [Lisa laughs] 860 00:41:10,880 --> 00:41:13,040 ...to come here and receive all this. 861 00:41:13,640 --> 00:41:14,480 Yeah. 862 00:41:14,640 --> 00:41:15,680 Mixed emotions. 863 00:41:16,120 --> 00:41:19,560 There's only one expression I can think of, and it's farmer logic. 864 00:41:19,680 --> 00:41:23,200 'Cause you love animals. All farmers love their animals. 865 00:41:24,160 --> 00:41:27,160 - And then they kill them and sell them. - [Andy] Hmm. 866 00:41:27,960 --> 00:41:31,080 - This way you can love them twice. - [all laughing] 867 00:41:33,680 --> 00:41:35,800 [soft music] 868 00:41:40,920 --> 00:41:44,160 [Jeremy] Back at the farm, as the rain continued to fall, 869 00:41:44,640 --> 00:41:47,000 I brought the poorly piglet into my office 870 00:41:47,160 --> 00:41:50,640 so I could keep an eye on her while I was working. 871 00:41:52,560 --> 00:41:55,520 I've moved her away from the Aga and brought her next to 872 00:41:55,640 --> 00:41:57,520 the stove in the barn. 873 00:41:59,040 --> 00:42:00,760 And she's really not well. 874 00:42:02,320 --> 00:42:03,440 [Lisa] Hey. 875 00:42:05,120 --> 00:42:06,680 [both sighing] 876 00:42:12,160 --> 00:42:13,760 [Lisa] No... 877 00:42:14,640 --> 00:42:16,840 - [Jeremy] She's the last one. - [Lisa] I know. 878 00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:18,640 I know, come on. 879 00:42:18,840 --> 00:42:19,640 No? 880 00:42:21,880 --> 00:42:25,120 It's okay, little one. I'm with you, okay? 881 00:42:25,840 --> 00:42:29,360 You can go, I'll stay with you. 882 00:42:30,600 --> 00:42:33,080 - And her mother's not well either. - I know. 883 00:42:33,280 --> 00:42:35,600 She's worse than she was before, to be honest. 884 00:42:35,800 --> 00:42:36,680 [Jeremy] She is. 885 00:42:37,640 --> 00:42:39,480 [soft squeaks] 886 00:42:43,960 --> 00:42:46,040 - [Lisa sighs] - [soft squeaks] 887 00:42:46,160 --> 00:42:47,760 [Lisa sighs] 888 00:42:52,120 --> 00:42:54,040 I just find that heart-breaking. 889 00:43:01,080 --> 00:43:02,000 [Jeremy] Hi, Jenny. 890 00:43:02,160 --> 00:43:03,040 - Hi, Jenny. - [Jenny] Hi, there. 891 00:43:03,160 --> 00:43:04,640 Another familiar sight. 892 00:43:04,800 --> 00:43:06,960 - [Jenny] I've heard she's not doing well. - Yeah. 893 00:43:10,640 --> 00:43:12,960 [Jenny] No, I'm afraid she's passed. There's nothing there. 894 00:43:17,880 --> 00:43:20,480 - [Jenny] Did she come out very little? - [Lisa] Yeah. 895 00:43:21,320 --> 00:43:22,640 But... 896 00:43:23,920 --> 00:43:24,960 [Jeremy sighs] 897 00:43:26,920 --> 00:43:30,600 I can't do this. I can't have pigs anymore, honestly. 898 00:43:31,360 --> 00:43:35,200 - A nightmare. I like them too much. - [Lisa] Hmm. 899 00:43:46,680 --> 00:43:49,360 [Jeremy] Unbelievably, the torment wasn't over. 900 00:43:51,160 --> 00:43:53,440 Because we then had to turn our attention to Baroness, 901 00:43:53,600 --> 00:43:57,640 now that every single one of her piglets had died. 902 00:43:58,680 --> 00:44:01,040 [Jenny] Hello, darling. Hi, sweet pea. 903 00:44:01,240 --> 00:44:02,680 - [pig grunting] - Good girl. 904 00:44:03,600 --> 00:44:04,640 Good girl. 905 00:44:04,800 --> 00:44:06,000 [Jeremy] What are you doing now, Jenny? 906 00:44:06,160 --> 00:44:09,800 [Jenny] Just taking her temperature, to see whether she has got a fever. 907 00:44:10,960 --> 00:44:12,680 [Lisa] She's very wobbly though. 908 00:44:12,880 --> 00:44:14,160 - [Jeremy] She's walking like she's drunk. - [Jenny] She's really wobbly. 909 00:44:14,320 --> 00:44:15,120 [Lisa] Yeah. Look. 910 00:44:15,280 --> 00:44:17,040 [Jenny] You can see her swaying from side to side. 911 00:44:17,240 --> 00:44:20,320 She hasn't eaten. She's had a bit of water, and that's it. 912 00:44:20,520 --> 00:44:25,000 You can see on the back end. Her bum should be round with muscle. 913 00:44:25,200 --> 00:44:26,800 It's really straight up and down. 914 00:44:26,960 --> 00:44:30,800 She's obviously lost a huge amount of muscle there and support. 915 00:44:30,960 --> 00:44:33,480 And the problem is, especially on this terrain, 916 00:44:33,640 --> 00:44:36,400 where she's up and down hills and it's all a bit lumpy bumpy, 917 00:44:36,560 --> 00:44:40,080 I'm really worried that she's going to get to the point 918 00:44:40,240 --> 00:44:42,440 that she's just going to go off those legs 919 00:44:42,640 --> 00:44:44,000 and collapse. 920 00:44:45,280 --> 00:44:46,560 It could be something cancerous. 921 00:44:47,240 --> 00:44:48,960 The other thing you could be dealing with 922 00:44:49,160 --> 00:44:51,360 is if you've got some damage to the liver. 923 00:44:51,560 --> 00:44:53,880 Neither of which are... 924 00:44:54,040 --> 00:44:56,160 - Curable. - Yeah. 925 00:44:56,760 --> 00:44:58,320 [Jeremy] Is she suffering now? 926 00:44:59,040 --> 00:45:02,520 [Jenny] Any animal that's not eating is not in a good state. 927 00:45:03,560 --> 00:45:05,440 [Lisa] She's so unsteady on her feet, isn't she? 928 00:45:05,960 --> 00:45:07,560 If you don't make the decision now, 929 00:45:07,720 --> 00:45:10,480 I have a feeling that we'll be in this position in another week's time 930 00:45:10,640 --> 00:45:13,960 with her collapsed down the bottom of there. 931 00:45:14,960 --> 00:45:18,480 If she's not going to get better and she's suffering, 932 00:45:19,200 --> 00:45:20,800 it's Dignitas time. 933 00:45:21,200 --> 00:45:22,040 [Lisa] Yeah. 934 00:45:22,200 --> 00:45:23,840 [pig grunting softly] 935 00:45:26,160 --> 00:45:30,680 So if you want me to do the deed, 936 00:45:30,840 --> 00:45:32,120 then I'll sort it out, 937 00:45:32,280 --> 00:45:37,280 and then you'll need to get someone in to take her away 938 00:45:38,400 --> 00:45:40,000 - after everything's done. - When would you do the deed? 939 00:45:40,160 --> 00:45:41,200 I can do it now, 940 00:45:42,320 --> 00:45:43,720 if you would like. 941 00:45:43,880 --> 00:45:44,960 Fucking hell. 942 00:45:46,080 --> 00:45:48,280 - What do you think? - [Jenny] I can give you a bit of time. 943 00:45:49,520 --> 00:45:54,080 I don't want her to be unhappy, in pain, or to get sicker. 944 00:45:54,240 --> 00:45:56,000 - And then... - You don't want her to die either. 945 00:45:56,160 --> 00:45:58,960 I don't want her to die with a broken leg having fallen down there 946 00:45:59,120 --> 00:46:02,720 and just be all crumpled up and alone. 947 00:46:03,560 --> 00:46:06,640 [Jenny] I know. It's always a really difficult decision. 948 00:46:07,160 --> 00:46:08,320 She's so lovely. 949 00:46:08,480 --> 00:46:10,320 [Jenny] She does seem like she's got a bit of a sweet nature. 950 00:46:10,480 --> 00:46:12,840 She's really sweet. She's always been the sweetest. 951 00:46:13,000 --> 00:46:13,920 [Jenny] Yeah. 952 00:46:15,560 --> 00:46:16,480 [Jeremy] Well... 953 00:46:17,320 --> 00:46:19,040 [Lisa sobs] 954 00:46:25,560 --> 00:46:27,240 Yeah? Time? 955 00:46:30,400 --> 00:46:33,080 It's fine. You don't have to be present if you don't want to be. 956 00:46:33,280 --> 00:46:35,840 - Yeah. I don't want to see it. - [Jenny] No. 957 00:46:36,520 --> 00:46:39,640 - Thanks, Jenny. - That's not a problem. Okay. 958 00:46:51,960 --> 00:46:53,480 Bye, Baroness. 959 00:46:58,800 --> 00:47:00,360 [Jeremy] Oh, God... 960 00:47:07,680 --> 00:47:10,240 [pig grunting softly] 961 00:47:11,280 --> 00:47:14,520 [Jenny] All right, darling. Time's up, I'm afraid. 962 00:47:18,560 --> 00:47:20,840 [credits over silence]