1
00:00:00,430 --> 00:00:01,560
There's been a murder.

2
00:00:06,560 --> 00:00:09,860
Abigail, you know I can't just let you
barge into a crime scene.

3
00:00:09,900 --> 00:00:13,990
Gilbert, you know it's always helpful
to have an extra set of eyes.

4
00:00:14,030 --> 00:00:16,700
Well, you do have a nice set.

5
00:00:16,740 --> 00:00:18,450
Of eyes.

6
00:00:18,490 --> 00:00:19,990
I--wh--

7
00:00:20,040 --> 00:00:21,790
what I mean is,
you're a very observant woman.

8
00:00:21,830 --> 00:00:24,540
I mean, you always notice
when I lose an adult tooth.

9
00:00:24,580 --> 00:00:27,590
Let me take just a swift peek

10
00:00:27,630 --> 00:00:29,960
and maybe I'll find something peculiar.

11
00:00:36,220 --> 00:00:37,890
Murder by ham!

12
00:00:37,930 --> 00:00:39,140
Chief of police here!

13
00:00:39,180 --> 00:00:41,060
Oh.

14
00:00:41,100 --> 00:00:43,850
You didn't tell me
that Herlock Holmes was here.

15
00:00:43,890 --> 00:00:45,190
Chief of Police Bills.

16
00:00:45,230 --> 00:00:46,980
Mm.
How'd she get in here?

17
00:00:47,020 --> 00:00:48,360
Through the front door?

18
00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:49,860
Not today, Gilbert.

19
00:00:49,900 --> 00:00:51,570
No, not today, man.

20
00:00:51,610 --> 00:00:53,740
You're about as sharp
as a baked potato, man.

21
00:00:53,780 --> 00:00:55,570
I know you got a theory.
What happened here?

22
00:00:55,610 --> 00:00:58,530
Well, after solving 116 of your murders,

23
00:00:58,580 --> 00:01:00,740
you'd think that I'd get a "Come on in."

24
00:01:00,790 --> 00:01:03,250
116?
Christ.

25
00:01:03,290 --> 00:01:05,330
It's our job as police officers,

26
00:01:05,370 --> 00:01:07,670
Gilbert and I, to solve crimes.

27
00:01:07,710 --> 00:01:10,130
It's your job as a writer
to write your little stories

28
00:01:10,170 --> 00:01:12,670
for lonely gals laying around
eating chocolate.

29
00:01:12,710 --> 00:01:14,380
The little round bonbons.

30
00:01:14,420 --> 00:01:15,880
What are they called?
The round bonbons.

31
00:01:15,930 --> 00:01:17,470
You--and you got the little cherry inside.

32
00:01:17,510 --> 00:01:18,720
What, the maraschino cherry?

33
00:01:18,760 --> 00:01:21,350
Yeah, you bite it, and it's like
the bonbon threw up in your mouth.

34
00:01:21,390 --> 00:01:25,190
Chief, my niece and I were here
before the murder,

35
00:01:25,230 --> 00:01:28,560
and we overheard some tidbits
you may want to hear about.

36
00:01:28,610 --> 00:01:31,650
You are itching, about to burst,
with the information.

37
00:01:31,690 --> 00:01:33,360
Please.
Huh?

38
00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:35,240
I'd love to partake in that.
How about you, Gilbert?

39
00:01:35,280 --> 00:01:36,110
- Yeah.
- Give it to us.

40
00:01:36,150 --> 00:01:38,160
It appears he was killed with ham--

41
00:01:38,200 --> 00:01:39,740
Ham!
He was killed with ham.

42
00:01:39,780 --> 00:01:41,200
Approximately 15 minutes--

43
00:01:41,240 --> 00:01:43,660
15 minutes ago!
15 minutes ago.

44
00:01:43,700 --> 00:01:45,290
I was gonna say 15 minutes.
You saw me, right?

45
00:01:45,330 --> 00:01:46,580
But the spit got caught in my throat.

46
00:01:46,620 --> 00:01:48,370
You didn't even pat my back
to see if I was choking or not.

47
00:01:48,420 --> 00:01:51,500
- There is definitely foul play--
- Foul play going on here!

48
00:01:51,540 --> 00:01:54,010
There's so much foul play in this room,
I can smell it.

49
00:01:54,050 --> 00:01:56,170
Matter of fact,
we gotta vent this room out

50
00:01:56,220 --> 00:01:58,010
'cause some more foul play might happen.

51
00:01:58,050 --> 00:02:00,090
And if I was looking for a suspect,

52
00:02:00,140 --> 00:02:02,680
I would check out the competing butcher.

53
00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:06,020
He seems a little interested
in what we're talking about.

54
00:02:06,060 --> 00:02:09,560
Hey, you're being pretty nosy right now
for someone who's not guilty!

55
00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:11,690
Puence, go get him!
Get him!

56
00:02:11,730 --> 00:02:13,110
Get him!
Get him!

57
00:02:13,150 --> 00:02:15,070
God damn it!
Pull it, don't push it!

58
00:02:15,110 --> 00:02:16,400
It's not a revolving door!

59
00:02:17,610 --> 00:02:20,030
Wow, Aunt Abigail,
you're on a writing roll.

60
00:02:20,070 --> 00:02:21,910
How's the novel coming along?

61
00:02:21,950 --> 00:02:23,490
Well, I haven't started it yet,

62
00:02:23,540 --> 00:02:27,500
but I'm writing a diary entry
about the nature of procrastination...

63
00:02:27,540 --> 00:02:28,830
- Ha.
- And very shortly,

64
00:02:28,870 --> 00:02:30,830
I'm getting ready to almost start.

65
00:02:34,170 --> 00:02:37,050
I can't believe on my first day here,
someone got murdered.

66
00:02:37,970 --> 00:02:39,050
It's pretty cool.

67
00:02:39,090 --> 00:02:41,800
I mean, that's a normal afternoon
in New Woodstream, dear.

68
00:02:43,760 --> 00:02:47,310
But something isn't sitting quite right
with me.

69
00:02:51,350 --> 00:02:53,440
Ah, there's where that went!

70
00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:55,650
Well, now that I can think more clearly,

71
00:02:55,690 --> 00:02:57,940
I don't think Andy Hapsburg
is our murderer.

72
00:02:57,990 --> 00:02:59,780
He wouldn't hurt a fly!

73
00:02:59,820 --> 00:03:01,110
Well, he's a butcher.

74
00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:02,410
I've got an idea.

75
00:03:02,450 --> 00:03:03,660
We should talk to the son.

76
00:03:03,700 --> 00:03:05,620
Bet he knows all his dad's enemies.

77
00:03:05,660 --> 00:03:08,580
Now, Heidi, we must allow the police

78
00:03:08,620 --> 00:03:10,420
to have enough time to do their jobs.

79
00:03:11,920 --> 00:03:13,790
And that's enough time.
Let's go.

80
00:03:13,840 --> 00:03:14,840
Yes.

81
00:03:14,880 --> 00:03:17,340
It was supposed to be our grand opening,

82
00:03:17,380 --> 00:03:20,430
but it feels more like a bland opening.

83
00:03:20,470 --> 00:03:22,680
I wanted to make him proud,
and then he died.

84
00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:24,680
- I'm so sorry.
- Thanks.

85
00:03:24,720 --> 00:03:26,760
I'm still gonna open today.

86
00:03:26,810 --> 00:03:29,850
Dad would've wanted Canelli and Son
to go on.

87
00:03:29,890 --> 00:03:31,810
I owe him that.

88
00:03:31,850 --> 00:03:35,480
The way he hated me was the way
a father was supposed to hate his son.

89
00:03:37,110 --> 00:03:40,450
Ben Jr., I know this is a terrible time
to ask, but--

90
00:03:40,490 --> 00:03:41,860
Who wanted to kill your dad?

91
00:03:41,910 --> 00:03:43,870
Easy, Heidi.

92
00:03:43,910 --> 00:03:45,580
His father just got murdered.

93
00:03:45,620 --> 00:03:47,540
Sorry.
I had a generic Red Bull.

94
00:03:47,580 --> 00:03:50,160
That's all right.
I'm riding on Adderall.

95
00:03:50,210 --> 00:03:52,080
What my niece meant to say was,

96
00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:54,750
who do you think would want
to murder your father?

97
00:03:54,790 --> 00:03:57,670
I have no idea who'd wanna ham my dad.

98
00:03:57,710 --> 00:04:00,380
If I were you guys though,
I'd talk to my mom.

99
00:04:00,420 --> 00:04:02,680
- She's--
- An asshole, we know.

100
00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:04,550
I was gonna say she's at home.

101
00:04:06,260 --> 00:04:08,140
My apologies.
I misspoke.

102
00:04:08,180 --> 00:04:11,100
Well, thanks so much for the tip.

103
00:04:11,140 --> 00:04:12,690
Um...

104
00:04:14,020 --> 00:04:15,980
Group shot.

105
00:04:24,280 --> 00:04:26,490
Come on, Puence.
Puence, come in.

106
00:04:26,530 --> 00:04:27,780
Puence here.

107
00:04:27,830 --> 00:04:30,580
I'm gonna come over there
and sit next to you.

108
00:04:30,620 --> 00:04:33,080
Roger.

109
00:04:36,130 --> 00:04:38,290
What do we do here, Andy?

110
00:04:38,340 --> 00:04:39,750
Oh, wow.

111
00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:42,510
People saw you yelling at Canelli

112
00:04:42,550 --> 00:04:43,630
before he was hammed.

113
00:04:43,680 --> 00:04:46,090
Billy, come on.
You know I'm a yeller.

114
00:04:46,140 --> 00:04:48,470
It's how I deal with stress!

115
00:04:48,510 --> 00:04:50,220
You know I would never hurt anyone.

116
00:04:50,270 --> 00:04:51,810
Except with my voice!

117
00:04:51,850 --> 00:04:54,310
You made me run today

118
00:04:54,350 --> 00:04:56,310
in my standing slacks.

119
00:04:56,350 --> 00:04:58,190
Oh, that makes me mad.

120
00:04:58,230 --> 00:04:59,270
You know why?

121
00:04:59,320 --> 00:05:01,610
'Cause my insurance
does not cover chafing.

122
00:05:01,650 --> 00:05:02,610
I'm sorry.

123
00:05:02,650 --> 00:05:04,360
I just got really nervous

124
00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:06,110
when everyone turned around
and looked at me

125
00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:09,200
and Mrs. Mapleworth fingered me.

126
00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:12,250
The bottom line of this, Andy--
you're going to jail for murder.

127
00:05:12,290 --> 00:05:14,210
If you don't tell us

128
00:05:14,250 --> 00:05:17,750
where the hell you were at 11:40!

129
00:05:17,790 --> 00:05:19,880
I got the perfect alibi.

130
00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:22,920
And the yelling thing is mine!

131
00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:25,380
You came into my shop at 11:40.

132
00:05:27,550 --> 00:05:30,010
You know what?
I was at your shop at 11:40.

133
00:05:30,050 --> 00:05:32,100
Yes.

134
00:05:32,140 --> 00:05:35,100
Yeah, I came in here...

135
00:05:35,140 --> 00:05:36,850
I had a taste for bacon.
I wanted some bacon.

136
00:05:36,900 --> 00:05:37,850
Right, remember?

137
00:05:37,900 --> 00:05:40,360
You said you wanted to make some BLTs
for lunch.

138
00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:42,570
- Bacon, lettuce, and tomato.
- BLT.

139
00:05:42,610 --> 00:05:44,320
- I wanted to put it on wheat bread.
- Mm-hmm.

140
00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:46,030
With a toothpick stuck in it like that.

141
00:05:46,070 --> 00:05:48,620
And then you got a phone call
and you said, "Ope, I gotta go.

142
00:05:48,660 --> 00:05:50,910
- Someone's been murdered."
- Yep, that's what happened.

143
00:05:50,950 --> 00:05:52,370
So am I free to go?

144
00:05:52,410 --> 00:05:54,370
Yeah.

145
00:05:54,410 --> 00:05:56,580
Hey, hey, hey, hey, one more thing.

146
00:05:58,670 --> 00:06:01,210
Now...

147
00:06:01,250 --> 00:06:04,170
did I happen to leave that bacon
on that counter?

148
00:06:04,210 --> 00:06:05,630
That I purchased?

149
00:06:05,670 --> 00:06:08,930
'Cause if I did, I wanna talk to you
about getting a meat credit.

150
00:06:11,470 --> 00:06:12,930
I don't think so.

151
00:06:16,430 --> 00:06:17,560
Must not be home.

152
00:06:18,650 --> 00:06:19,850
Was that a gunshot?

153
00:06:19,900 --> 00:06:21,020
Something's amiss.

154
00:06:21,060 --> 00:06:22,860
My Maple sense is tingling,

155
00:06:22,900 --> 00:06:25,360
and not the sexy part.

156
00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:26,570
Heidi, you wait here.

157
00:06:26,610 --> 00:06:27,610
No.

158
00:06:32,240 --> 00:06:33,990
Now, when you're probing someone,

159
00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:36,830
you have to go for the sweets
before you get the deets.

160
00:06:36,870 --> 00:06:38,790
Watch out, Aunt Abigail!