1 00:00:00,083 --> 00:00:01,585 ♪ Da-da-da-da-da-da ♪ 2 00:00:01,668 --> 00:00:02,711 ♪ Do-do-do-do-do ♪ 3 00:00:02,794 --> 00:00:04,171 ♪ Da-da-da-da-da-da ♪ 4 00:00:04,254 --> 00:00:05,339 ♪ Da-do-ba-doobie-do ♪ 5 00:00:05,422 --> 00:00:06,632 ♪ This is the theme song ♪ 6 00:00:06,715 --> 00:00:08,050 ♪ This is the theme song ♪ 7 00:00:08,133 --> 00:00:09,760 ♪ Yeah. ♪ 8 00:00:14,973 --> 00:00:16,934 So we're at this big, fancy 9 00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:19,228 music industry party, 10 00:00:19,311 --> 00:00:20,812 schlepping hot dogs, 11 00:00:20,896 --> 00:00:23,941 when who comes up to us but the man himself. 12 00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:26,151 The myth, the legend... 13 00:00:26,235 --> 00:00:28,987 Jacob Jewel. 14 00:00:29,071 --> 00:00:31,240 - Bullshit. - Yeah way, dude. 15 00:00:31,323 --> 00:00:32,699 Jacob Jewel, the singer? 16 00:00:32,783 --> 00:00:35,953 Jacob "voice of a goddamn angel" Jewel, yes! 17 00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:37,913 What did he say? 18 00:00:37,996 --> 00:00:40,707 He said, "What kind of fucked-up hamburger is this?" 19 00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:42,084 See, the guy is so rich, 20 00:00:42,167 --> 00:00:43,377 he doesn't even know what normal people eat. 21 00:00:43,460 --> 00:00:44,461 So we tell him, "Um, 22 00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:46,046 that's a dog, dude." 23 00:00:46,129 --> 00:00:48,465 To which he spits it out all over us. 24 00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:50,259 I mean, w... we calm him down, we assure him 25 00:00:50,342 --> 00:00:51,885 it's not actually a dog. 26 00:00:51,969 --> 00:00:53,595 He goes, "Oh, thank God. 27 00:00:53,679 --> 00:00:55,097 'Cause my wife's got, like, four Pomeranians. 28 00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:56,932 I don't know if I could trust myself to be around them 29 00:00:57,015 --> 00:00:58,642 if I knew they tasted this good. 30 00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:02,896 'Cause this is... the greatest thing I've ever eaten. 31 00:01:02,980 --> 00:01:04,940 Did you guys make this?" 32 00:01:05,023 --> 00:01:06,191 And what were we supposed to say? 33 00:01:06,275 --> 00:01:08,193 We wanted the guy to like us. So we go... 34 00:01:08,277 --> 00:01:09,444 Yeah. 35 00:01:09,528 --> 00:01:11,321 We tell him we invented the hot dog. 36 00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:12,531 "We just grill up a few dogs 37 00:01:12,614 --> 00:01:14,157 when we're taking a break 38 00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:16,827 from being successful songwriters." 39 00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:18,245 So he says, "Songwriters, huh? 40 00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:19,746 Well, you know, 41 00:01:19,830 --> 00:01:22,708 my label actually just picked up this big dance track 42 00:01:22,791 --> 00:01:24,960 for my next single, and I hate it. 43 00:01:25,043 --> 00:01:28,505 What I really want is a nice, classic love song. 44 00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:30,716 And if you guys have stuff that's half as good 45 00:01:30,799 --> 00:01:33,343 as this dog, send us some tracks." 46 00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:35,345 So I tell him, "We've got stuff that's ten times 47 00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:36,972 as good as that hot dog." 48 00:01:37,055 --> 00:01:38,182 Sara probably shouldn't have said something 49 00:01:38,265 --> 00:01:39,433 so astounding while his mouth was full, 50 00:01:39,516 --> 00:01:40,559 'cause the guy just starts fucking choking. 51 00:01:40,642 --> 00:01:41,935 And Sara's like, "Stand back! 52 00:01:42,019 --> 00:01:43,854 I know the Heimlich!" I could not stop lying. 53 00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:45,314 So I google "Heimlich," I show it to Pierce, 54 00:01:45,397 --> 00:01:47,566 and he's shouting, "Breathe! Breathe! Breathe!" 55 00:01:47,649 --> 00:01:49,610 And this guy comes out of the crowd, like, 56 00:01:49,693 --> 00:01:50,944 "Everybody move aside. I am a doctor." 57 00:01:51,028 --> 00:01:52,154 I'm like, "Yeah, you're a doctor 58 00:01:52,237 --> 00:01:53,864 and I'm a successful songwriter." 59 00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:55,282 But he was a doctor. 60 00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:57,409 And the good news is, Jacob made it. 61 00:01:59,286 --> 00:02:01,705 And the great news is he knows who we are now. 62 00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:03,290 I mean, sure, it's because he thinks 63 00:02:03,373 --> 00:02:04,499 we invented the hot dog, 64 00:02:04,583 --> 00:02:07,044 but when you see an opportunity, you take it. 65 00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:09,129 How do you think the hot dog was actually invented? 66 00:02:09,213 --> 00:02:11,340 Somebody looked at a pile of pig guts one day, 67 00:02:11,423 --> 00:02:13,175 and said, "I could work with this." 68 00:02:13,258 --> 00:02:15,552 So he wants a love song. We're gonna give him one. 69 00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:17,888 But the thing is, he needs it, like, yesterday. 70 00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:19,932 Otherwise the label's just gonna use that dance track. 71 00:02:20,015 --> 00:02:21,433 So do you guys have anything to send him? 72 00:02:21,517 --> 00:02:23,310 Not yet. But... 73 00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:25,979 did you know that Dolly Parton wrote "Jolene" 74 00:02:26,063 --> 00:02:28,607 and "I Will Always Love You" in one afternoon? 75 00:02:28,690 --> 00:02:31,318 All we gotta do is half that, and we're two people. 76 00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:32,528 Okay. 77 00:02:32,611 --> 00:02:34,988 So we're gonna go into the studio, 78 00:02:35,072 --> 00:02:37,991 you're gonna lock us in, and do not let us out 79 00:02:38,075 --> 00:02:39,785 until we have a hit song. 80 00:02:39,868 --> 00:02:41,411 I mean it, Theo. 81 00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:43,163 No distractions. 82 00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:51,171 ♪ 83 00:02:59,471 --> 00:03:00,722 I give up. I give up. 84 00:03:00,806 --> 00:03:01,974 We... we don't have anything. 85 00:03:02,057 --> 00:03:03,433 It's been hours, and we have nothing. 86 00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:05,811 One afternoon, my ass. 87 00:03:05,894 --> 00:03:07,563 Fuck Dolly Parton! She's full of shit. 88 00:03:07,646 --> 00:03:09,439 Okay, we are not giving up. 89 00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:12,568 We just can't think when we're trapped inside this box. 90 00:03:12,651 --> 00:03:13,986 That's... that's what it is. 91 00:03:14,069 --> 00:03:16,113 We are writing about love. 92 00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:18,740 We just need to step out into the world 93 00:03:18,824 --> 00:03:20,200 and open up our hearts 94 00:03:20,284 --> 00:03:22,870 to inspiration and truth 95 00:03:22,953 --> 00:03:24,496 and beauty. 96 00:03:24,580 --> 00:03:25,914 And I'm hungry. 97 00:03:25,998 --> 00:03:27,040 Yeah. 98 00:03:27,124 --> 00:03:29,168 Theo, can you let us out? 99 00:03:29,251 --> 00:03:30,294 You told me not to. 100 00:03:30,377 --> 00:03:31,879 But didn't you just hear my speech 101 00:03:31,962 --> 00:03:33,297 - about inspiration? - Yeah, and that whole thing 102 00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:34,882 about us being hungry. 103 00:03:34,965 --> 00:03:36,967 Come on, guys. Think about all the money you could make. 104 00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:38,218 That's certainly what I'm thinking about. 105 00:03:38,302 --> 00:03:39,302 I mean, I let you 106 00:03:39,303 --> 00:03:40,596 use this space and... 107 00:03:40,679 --> 00:03:42,264 produce all your songs for practically nothing. 108 00:03:42,347 --> 00:03:43,348 Call me selfish, but... 109 00:03:43,432 --> 00:03:44,975 You're selfish. 110 00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:47,102 This is a big opportunity 111 00:03:47,186 --> 00:03:49,146 and I'm not gonna let you choke under the pressure. 112 00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:51,440 Okay, fine. If I can't leave, 113 00:03:51,523 --> 00:03:54,860 I'm just gonna draw some inspiration from some videos. 114 00:03:54,943 --> 00:03:57,279 Um, I... Where's my phone? 115 00:03:58,530 --> 00:04:00,282 No distractions, Sara. 116 00:04:00,365 --> 00:04:02,910 ♪ 117 00:04:02,993 --> 00:04:05,245 Okay, so you're scrolling through Twitter. 118 00:04:05,329 --> 00:04:07,956 And you're... you're seeing a lot of pictures. 119 00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:10,042 - Your cousin just got married. - Ew. 120 00:04:10,125 --> 00:04:12,002 Uh, you come across a GIF 121 00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:15,088 of, uh, a tiny, small little frog... 122 00:04:15,172 --> 00:04:16,757 smaller than you... than you'd imagine. 123 00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:18,175 I don't know. 124 00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:20,761 I can imagine a pretty small frog. 125 00:04:20,844 --> 00:04:22,221 Oh, no, no, not like this frog. 126 00:04:22,304 --> 00:04:24,223 This frog's really tiny, like it's using a... a dime 127 00:04:24,306 --> 00:04:25,766 like a... like it's a lily pad. 128 00:04:25,849 --> 00:04:27,434 Oh, I like that one. 129 00:04:27,518 --> 00:04:28,769 We have a winner. 130 00:04:28,852 --> 00:04:30,145 That's our inspiration. 131 00:04:30,229 --> 00:04:33,273 A small frog, on a dime. 132 00:04:33,357 --> 00:04:34,566 Frog isn't the focus. 133 00:04:34,650 --> 00:04:36,109 "On a dime," that's a phrase. 134 00:04:36,193 --> 00:04:38,070 Yes. Uh, uh, like, like a, like a cheap date. 135 00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:40,221 Like "on a dime." Like... like a love song about a cheap date. 136 00:04:40,305 --> 00:04:42,574 No. You "turn on a dime." My heart turned on a dime. 137 00:04:42,658 --> 00:04:45,994 ♪ My heart turn... turned on a dime ♪ 138 00:04:46,078 --> 00:04:47,955 ♪ This time ♪ 139 00:04:48,038 --> 00:04:50,040 ♪ Your love is... ♪ 140 00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:52,251 Okay, no, this is good. We're getting somewhere. 141 00:04:52,334 --> 00:04:54,086 It's got a turn of phrase, it's got a theme. 142 00:04:54,169 --> 00:04:56,088 It's... it's got everything. 143 00:04:56,171 --> 00:04:58,757 Except the... turn of phrase is stupid 144 00:04:58,841 --> 00:05:02,511 and the lyrics don't scan and it sucks and I hate it. 145 00:05:02,594 --> 00:05:05,889 Give me my phone back, you sick fuck! 146 00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:08,475 Oh, Pierce, that's a good one. 147 00:05:08,559 --> 00:05:10,686 Yes. I can't wait to record that idea. 148 00:05:10,769 --> 00:05:12,229 - What are you saying? - Okay, when he comes in here, 149 00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:15,065 I'm gonna grab hold of him. You tie his shoes to his wrists. 150 00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:17,067 - He won't be able to move. - Wait, wait, wait. 151 00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:19,403 Tie his shoes to his wrists? That... that seems kind of stupid. 152 00:05:19,486 --> 00:05:20,946 Oh, really? Is it? 153 00:05:21,029 --> 00:05:22,823 Or did I just finish doing it to you? 154 00:05:22,906 --> 00:05:25,158 What are you talking... Oh, my God! 155 00:05:25,242 --> 00:05:27,619 How did you do... ? This is... 156 00:05:27,703 --> 00:05:29,037 Hey, Theo! 157 00:05:29,121 --> 00:05:30,372 It's... it's Sara, man. 158 00:05:30,455 --> 00:05:32,165 Her heart condition's going off like crazy. 159 00:05:32,249 --> 00:05:35,043 We... we got to get her a... to a heart doctor, stat. 160 00:05:35,127 --> 00:05:36,795 Nice try, Pierce. 161 00:05:36,879 --> 00:05:38,881 Little hard to trick me when I've been watching you 162 00:05:38,964 --> 00:05:40,841 plan your escape for the last three hours. 163 00:05:40,924 --> 00:05:42,509 Look, I wouldn't joke about this kind of thing. 164 00:05:42,593 --> 00:05:43,886 Sara's my best friend. 165 00:05:43,969 --> 00:05:46,305 And you're... you're up there, too. 166 00:05:46,388 --> 00:05:48,140 - Are you serious? - Yes, I'm serious! 167 00:05:48,223 --> 00:05:50,142 She's on the ground, man. Her heart's exploding! 168 00:05:50,225 --> 00:05:51,225 - Okay. Okay. - Get in here! 169 00:05:51,268 --> 00:05:52,268 And bring my phone. 170 00:05:52,269 --> 00:05:53,312 And bring her phone! 171 00:05:53,395 --> 00:05:54,897 Sara! Are you okay? Sara! 172 00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:56,815 Gotcha! Okay, tie his shoes to his wrists. 173 00:05:56,899 --> 00:05:58,650 - Ah, wha-wha-what are these? - They're tassels. 174 00:05:58,734 --> 00:06:01,612 - How do I tie 'em together? - You don't... Okay, come on. 175 00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:04,573 Get up. 176 00:06:04,656 --> 00:06:06,158 If you guys want to go, then just go. 177 00:06:06,241 --> 00:06:07,659 Throw away your futures. 178 00:06:07,743 --> 00:06:09,912 But this was a big opportunity for us. 179 00:06:09,995 --> 00:06:11,914 It's just so... 180 00:06:11,997 --> 00:06:13,540 disappointing. 181 00:06:18,253 --> 00:06:21,006 Oh, my God. Jacob Jewel was right. 182 00:06:21,089 --> 00:06:22,633 These things are amazing. 183 00:06:24,176 --> 00:06:25,176 What's up? 184 00:06:25,177 --> 00:06:26,678 I'm a failure. 185 00:06:26,762 --> 00:06:28,096 Theo was right. 186 00:06:28,180 --> 00:06:30,307 This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, 187 00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:31,975 and I'm completely blowing it. 188 00:06:32,059 --> 00:06:34,019 Hey. 189 00:06:34,102 --> 00:06:35,896 We're blowing it. 190 00:06:35,979 --> 00:06:37,773 I'm completely uninspired. 191 00:06:37,856 --> 00:06:39,441 How am I supposed to write about love 192 00:06:39,525 --> 00:06:41,777 when I don't feel it? 193 00:06:41,860 --> 00:06:45,113 I thought I loved songwriting, but I guess I love nothing. 194 00:06:45,197 --> 00:06:47,616 Well, you'll love this. 195 00:06:47,699 --> 00:06:50,327 It's the best thing I've ever had in my fucking life. 196 00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:51,537 No. It's not. 197 00:06:51,620 --> 00:06:53,830 You just think it is because it's a distraction 198 00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:56,792 from writing this hellish, horrible, impossible song. 199 00:06:56,875 --> 00:06:59,211 I don't know, just take a bite. Please? 200 00:06:59,294 --> 00:07:01,129 Fine. 201 00:07:03,465 --> 00:07:05,342 Mmm. 202 00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:08,595 - Oh, shit. Mmm. - Yeah. 203 00:07:08,679 --> 00:07:10,013 You know what I'd do for that dog? 204 00:07:10,097 --> 00:07:12,099 I would move a mountain. 205 00:07:12,182 --> 00:07:15,060 Uh, I'd kill a man. Yeah. 206 00:07:15,143 --> 00:07:17,729 Fuck that song. Fuck songwriting. 207 00:07:17,813 --> 00:07:20,190 Let's... let's just work here. At Doggie's. 208 00:07:20,274 --> 00:07:22,025 That'd be fine. 209 00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:24,069 I'd give up on my dreams for this. 210 00:07:24,152 --> 00:07:27,656 Because it's just... that... 211 00:07:27,739 --> 00:07:31,577 You're just that... 212 00:07:31,660 --> 00:07:37,833 ♪ You're just that good. ♪ 213 00:07:42,421 --> 00:07:44,965 ♪ Couldn't find the words to sing ♪ 214 00:07:45,048 --> 00:07:47,426 ♪ Until I found you ♪ 215 00:07:47,509 --> 00:07:50,971 ♪ You came and made my heart burn ♪ 216 00:07:51,054 --> 00:07:54,641 ♪ You made me understand ♪ 217 00:07:54,725 --> 00:07:59,062 ♪ That I'd do anything to always be around you ♪ 218 00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:02,733 ♪ I would move a mountain ♪ 219 00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:05,277 ♪ I would kill a man ♪ 220 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:09,281 ♪ I would steal a car or rob a bank ♪ 221 00:08:09,364 --> 00:08:10,908 ♪ Or punch a child ♪ 222 00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:16,622 ♪ A bunch of things I never thought I would ♪ 223 00:08:16,705 --> 00:08:19,499 ♪ It's just that ♪ 224 00:08:19,583 --> 00:08:22,711 ♪ You're just that ♪ 225 00:08:22,794 --> 00:08:25,464 ♪ You're just that ♪ 226 00:08:25,547 --> 00:08:29,134 ♪ Good. ♪ 227 00:08:29,218 --> 00:08:31,637 20 million views. One day. 228 00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:34,348 That's awesome. 229 00:08:34,431 --> 00:08:35,974 You think this is awesome, 230 00:08:36,058 --> 00:08:38,852 our next song is gonna be ten times more awesome. 231 00:08:38,936 --> 00:08:40,229 Ten? 232 00:08:41,647 --> 00:08:43,774 ♪ I'll relish you forever there ♪ 233 00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:47,653 ♪ With you up in my grill is paradise ♪ 234 00:08:47,736 --> 00:08:49,571 ♪ Hey ♪ 235 00:08:49,655 --> 00:08:51,448 ♪ Oh ♪ 236 00:08:51,532 --> 00:08:52,699 ♪ 'Cause you're just ♪ 237 00:08:52,783 --> 00:08:54,201 - ♪ Just ♪ - ♪ That ♪ 238 00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:57,162 - ♪ That good ♪ - ♪ Good ♪ 239 00:08:57,246 --> 00:08:59,540 ♪ Yeah, you're just ♪ 240 00:08:59,623 --> 00:09:01,166 ♪ That good ♪ 241 00:09:04,169 --> 00:09:05,921 ♪ 'Cause you're just ♪ 242 00:09:06,004 --> 00:09:08,924 ♪ That good ♪ 243 00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:11,468 ♪ Just ♪ - ♪ You're just ♪ 244 00:09:11,552 --> 00:09:14,012 ♪ That good ♪ 245 00:09:14,096 --> 00:09:17,224 ♪ Whoa-oh. ♪ 246 00:09:18,225 --> 00:09:20,769 ♪ Songs about hot dogs, yeah! ♪ 247 00:09:20,770 --> 00:09:21,227 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com -