1 00:00:17,075 --> 00:00:18,610 [upbeat music] 2 00:00:18,676 --> 00:00:19,778 - [snoring] 3 00:00:19,844 --> 00:00:22,347 - Fat Freddy, wake your fat ass up! 4 00:00:22,414 --> 00:00:24,250 - Boing! - [grunts] 5 00:00:24,316 --> 00:00:25,818 Who's excited? 6 00:00:25,885 --> 00:00:29,856 Only 24 hours until the most holiest of days: 7 00:00:29,923 --> 00:00:31,591 Cinco de Asshole! 8 00:00:31,658 --> 00:00:34,127 - Oh, right. Ho, ho, ho. 9 00:00:34,194 --> 00:00:37,565 - Ah, feels like we just put away our asshole decorations. 10 00:00:37,632 --> 00:00:39,767 - Guys, it's the fifth day of the month. 11 00:00:39,834 --> 00:00:42,638 That means we get to curse all the assholes 12 00:00:42,704 --> 00:00:43,806 who disrespected us. 13 00:00:43,872 --> 00:00:46,909 Keep the fires of hatred burning bright! 14 00:00:46,976 --> 00:00:48,845 - You mean disrespected you. 15 00:00:48,912 --> 00:00:51,848 - Hey, any asshole of mine is an asshole of yours. 16 00:00:51,915 --> 00:00:53,350 Got your nominations ready? 17 00:00:53,417 --> 00:00:55,019 - Eh, tell you the truth, Phin, 18 00:00:55,086 --> 00:00:57,521 this one kind of crept up on me. 19 00:00:57,588 --> 00:01:00,258 - And now I'll creep up on you! 20 00:01:00,325 --> 00:01:02,594 - Put me down! Put me down! 21 00:01:02,661 --> 00:01:05,198 You don't creep up on someone when they're facing you! 22 00:01:05,264 --> 00:01:06,899 It defeats the purpose! 23 00:01:06,966 --> 00:01:10,369 - Oh, sure, you get out of your seat for that bullshit. 24 00:01:10,436 --> 00:01:14,007 All I've had to eat are two crickets and my own fur. 25 00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:16,477 Feed me! 26 00:01:16,543 --> 00:01:18,213 - What the hell is wrong with you guys? 27 00:01:18,279 --> 00:01:20,915 This day only comes around 12 times a year! 28 00:01:20,982 --> 00:01:24,186 - Well, I'm just saying, maybe we should move past that 29 00:01:24,253 --> 00:01:27,456 and focus on something positive. 30 00:01:27,523 --> 00:01:29,893 - We're not "something positive" guys. 31 00:01:29,960 --> 00:01:31,461 We're "sit around, get high, 32 00:01:31,528 --> 00:01:33,296 and bitch about the world" guys. 33 00:01:33,363 --> 00:01:37,235 I'm leaving before you ruin my festive mood! 34 00:01:38,102 --> 00:01:40,538 - ♪ Good, mm-hmm ♪ 35 00:01:40,605 --> 00:01:42,941 ♪ Three brothers puffin' ♪ 36 00:01:43,008 --> 00:01:46,645 ♪ And we just woke up in year 2020 ♪ 37 00:01:46,712 --> 00:01:49,382 - ♪ Roll another J and forget the day ♪ 38 00:01:49,449 --> 00:01:51,951 ♪ Roll another J and get high ♪ 39 00:01:52,018 --> 00:01:55,289 ♪ Roll another J and forget the day ♪ 40 00:01:55,356 --> 00:01:57,391 ♪ Me and my brothers getting fried ♪ 41 00:01:57,458 --> 00:02:00,195 - ♪ The Freak Brothers ♪ 42 00:02:05,168 --> 00:02:06,903 - Canned cat food again? 43 00:02:06,969 --> 00:02:08,204 Fuck that slop. 44 00:02:08,271 --> 00:02:09,805 You know, Fred, I've been watching 45 00:02:09,872 --> 00:02:10,974 a lot of cooking shows. 46 00:02:11,041 --> 00:02:12,376 I could be a great chef. 47 00:02:12,442 --> 00:02:13,443 Follow my lead. 48 00:02:13,510 --> 00:02:15,179 We'll Ratatouille this bitch. 49 00:02:15,245 --> 00:02:18,316 We're making chicken tacos with jalapeño cheese sauce 50 00:02:18,383 --> 00:02:19,918 on a corn tortilla. 51 00:02:19,984 --> 00:02:21,886 Mmm, mmm, good. 52 00:02:21,953 --> 00:02:23,088 - Aye, aye, Captain! 53 00:02:23,155 --> 00:02:26,792 You say, jump, and I'll say, that hurts my knees. 54 00:02:26,859 --> 00:02:28,761 - You get started on the knife work. 55 00:02:28,827 --> 00:02:31,731 [light music] 56 00:02:31,798 --> 00:02:34,301 ♪ ♪ 57 00:02:34,367 --> 00:02:36,070 [metallic clanging] 58 00:02:36,137 --> 00:02:38,839 - [yelping] 59 00:02:38,906 --> 00:02:40,909 You idiots, you're giving me flashbacks 60 00:02:40,976 --> 00:02:42,678 to my trip to Thailand. 61 00:02:44,446 --> 00:02:46,815 - Now put that shit in the pot. 62 00:02:48,451 --> 00:02:50,253 You're on fire, fat man. 63 00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:51,454 - Thanks, Kitty. 64 00:02:51,521 --> 00:02:53,257 I think I'm getting the hang of this. 65 00:02:53,324 --> 00:02:55,759 - No. You're on fire. 66 00:02:55,826 --> 00:02:57,261 - [screams] 67 00:02:59,064 --> 00:03:01,333 - Saw that shit coming. 68 00:03:02,667 --> 00:03:06,405 - I nominate Mr. Malouf, my 12th grade band teacher. 69 00:03:06,472 --> 00:03:07,940 He made me second triangle. 70 00:03:08,007 --> 00:03:09,475 Think about what my life could have been 71 00:03:09,542 --> 00:03:11,144 if I was first triangle. 72 00:03:11,211 --> 00:03:13,947 You, sir, are a fucking asshole. 73 00:03:15,415 --> 00:03:16,985 Ow, my thumb! 74 00:03:17,051 --> 00:03:19,721 Why did I choose such a difficult instrument? 75 00:03:19,787 --> 00:03:22,724 - Hey, what you up to, Gretch? 76 00:03:22,790 --> 00:03:23,859 - Not much. 77 00:03:23,926 --> 00:03:25,461 My friend Mark's coming over to discuss 78 00:03:25,527 --> 00:03:27,296 this homeless initiative I'm helping him with. 79 00:03:27,363 --> 00:03:28,564 - Mark who? 80 00:03:28,631 --> 00:03:30,600 - Oh, just...[chuckles] You know... 81 00:03:30,667 --> 00:03:33,036 [coughs] Mark Zuckerberg. 82 00:03:33,103 --> 00:03:34,671 - Oh! - Mark Zuckerberg? 83 00:03:34,738 --> 00:03:36,340 - The Mark Zuckerberg? 84 00:03:36,407 --> 00:03:38,509 - He's building this amazing Megashelter 85 00:03:38,576 --> 00:03:41,713 that has the potential to literally end homelessness. 86 00:03:41,780 --> 00:03:43,682 - Oh, that's great, Gretch. 87 00:03:43,749 --> 00:03:47,287 Anyone who picks you for their team is doing something right. 88 00:03:47,353 --> 00:03:48,488 - Thank you, Franklin. 89 00:03:48,554 --> 00:03:49,722 - Right, right. 90 00:03:49,789 --> 00:03:52,292 So Mark Zuckerberg is coming over when? 91 00:03:52,358 --> 00:03:54,728 [doorbell rings] - Uh, now. 92 00:03:54,795 --> 00:03:56,630 - I got it. - No, I got it. 93 00:03:56,697 --> 00:03:58,399 No, I have got the door. 94 00:03:59,567 --> 00:04:02,037 - Hello, Gretchen, as I believe they say. 95 00:04:02,103 --> 00:04:03,138 [chuckles awkwardly] 96 00:04:03,204 --> 00:04:05,441 Oh, how rude of me. 97 00:04:05,508 --> 00:04:07,009 I am Mark E-period Zuckerberg. 98 00:04:07,076 --> 00:04:10,279 The E-period stands for Elliot, no period. 99 00:04:10,346 --> 00:04:13,984 - Ugh, five seconds, and I already don't like this guy. 100 00:04:14,051 --> 00:04:15,652 - Eh, Franklin Freek. 101 00:04:15,719 --> 00:04:19,524 No commas, periods, or question marks. 102 00:04:19,590 --> 00:04:21,392 - [smooches] Mr. Zuckerberg, 103 00:04:21,459 --> 00:04:22,961 we didn't know anyone was coming over, 104 00:04:23,028 --> 00:04:27,433 but welcome to our humble, humble, humble, humble... 105 00:04:27,499 --> 00:04:28,467 - Honey, you're skipping. 106 00:04:28,534 --> 00:04:30,070 - Home. Thank you. 107 00:04:30,136 --> 00:04:31,271 I couldn't get out of that. 108 00:04:31,338 --> 00:04:33,173 Take a picture. 109 00:04:33,239 --> 00:04:34,741 - So nice to meet you all. 110 00:04:34,809 --> 00:04:37,611 [chuckles awkwardly] I am Mark E-period Zuckerberg. 111 00:04:37,678 --> 00:04:39,513 The E stands for-- 112 00:04:39,580 --> 00:04:41,016 - Enough! We get it! 113 00:04:41,083 --> 00:04:42,017 Nice haircut, by the way. 114 00:04:42,084 --> 00:04:43,285 That come with a free bowl of soup? 115 00:04:43,352 --> 00:04:44,486 [groans] 116 00:04:44,553 --> 00:04:46,688 Ow, my nose! 117 00:04:46,755 --> 00:04:49,959 - [sniffs] My olfactory senses are stimulated. 118 00:04:50,026 --> 00:04:52,195 I detect... [snorts awkwardly] 119 00:04:52,261 --> 00:04:54,398 Deliciousness. 120 00:04:57,301 --> 00:05:00,271 Man, cat, food. 121 00:05:00,338 --> 00:05:01,940 My algorithm informs me 122 00:05:02,006 --> 00:05:04,376 this is a highly desirable combination. 123 00:05:04,442 --> 00:05:06,712 [sputtering] 124 00:05:06,779 --> 00:05:08,748 May I sample your nutriments? 125 00:05:08,814 --> 00:05:10,817 - Of course. Eat whatever you want. 126 00:05:10,884 --> 00:05:13,019 - Take the fridge. We don't need it. 127 00:05:15,355 --> 00:05:17,058 - [slurps] 128 00:05:17,125 --> 00:05:19,093 Bah! Bah! Bah! 129 00:05:19,160 --> 00:05:20,762 Deli-i-cious. 130 00:05:20,828 --> 00:05:23,031 - That's the freshly chopped microwave. 131 00:05:23,098 --> 00:05:27,770 - Say, I'm using local chefs at my Megashelter event. 132 00:05:27,836 --> 00:05:29,873 How would you mammals like to cook there? 133 00:05:29,939 --> 00:05:32,375 - This is my big break, Freddy. 134 00:05:32,442 --> 00:05:33,743 That freckled-faced motherfucker 135 00:05:33,810 --> 00:05:36,347 got more money than God. 136 00:05:36,414 --> 00:05:38,416 - And you'll be cooking this: 137 00:05:38,482 --> 00:05:40,184 Meat-a-Verse Meat, 138 00:05:40,251 --> 00:05:43,488 lab-grown beef that will end the slaughter of animals. 139 00:05:43,555 --> 00:05:45,023 Isn't that nice? 140 00:05:45,090 --> 00:05:47,226 - Meat? That looks like shit. 141 00:05:47,293 --> 00:05:48,394 But we're in. 142 00:05:48,461 --> 00:05:50,229 - Kitty says we're in. 143 00:05:51,531 --> 00:05:53,167 - I would like to invite all of you 144 00:05:53,233 --> 00:05:56,637 to the opening of my Megashelter this Friday. 145 00:05:56,703 --> 00:05:58,639 - We'll be there. Can we bring anything? 146 00:05:58,706 --> 00:06:00,108 - Résumés, perhaps? [chuckles] 147 00:06:00,175 --> 00:06:02,610 - What about you, man in cowboy hat? 148 00:06:02,677 --> 00:06:04,446 - I'll be there with spurs on-- 149 00:06:04,512 --> 00:06:06,649 my fancy ones. 150 00:06:06,715 --> 00:06:10,319 - Bah! Bah! Bah! Bah! Bah! Bah! 151 00:06:10,386 --> 00:06:12,389 Wonderful. 152 00:06:12,456 --> 00:06:14,691 - What's taking so long? 153 00:06:14,758 --> 00:06:16,493 It's just a casual affair. 154 00:06:16,560 --> 00:06:17,929 - I know it's casual. 155 00:06:17,995 --> 00:06:19,931 Why do you think my bow tie is red? 156 00:06:19,997 --> 00:06:22,200 - [chuckles] You're so naughty. 157 00:06:22,266 --> 00:06:25,270 - Remember, we address each other as Chef. 158 00:06:25,337 --> 00:06:26,472 OK, Chef? 159 00:06:26,538 --> 00:06:28,640 - You got it, Kitty. 160 00:06:28,708 --> 00:06:30,777 - This is gonna be a long night. 161 00:06:30,844 --> 00:06:32,745 - Grab your bell-bottoms and light a fatty, 162 00:06:32,812 --> 00:06:36,917 'cause it's Cinco de Ass-- 163 00:06:36,984 --> 00:06:38,052 what's going on? 164 00:06:38,118 --> 00:06:41,156 - Kitty and I are professional chefs. 165 00:06:41,223 --> 00:06:42,624 - Sorry, man. 166 00:06:42,691 --> 00:06:44,793 Mark Z. invited me to this shindig, 167 00:06:44,860 --> 00:06:48,231 so I have to take a Cinco de Rain Check. 168 00:06:48,297 --> 00:06:51,501 - What kind of friends would leave a guy alone 169 00:06:51,567 --> 00:06:53,303 on Cinco de Asshole, huh? 170 00:06:53,370 --> 00:06:56,106 Don't you want to get high and stew in healthy hatred? 171 00:06:56,173 --> 00:06:58,676 - You're living in a fantasy world, man. 172 00:06:58,743 --> 00:07:00,812 Let it go. 173 00:07:00,879 --> 00:07:02,780 - Leave! Who needs you? 174 00:07:02,847 --> 00:07:05,050 You all just made the list. 175 00:07:06,619 --> 00:07:10,991 Asshole, cat asshole, fat asshole. 176 00:07:11,057 --> 00:07:13,927 ♪ ♪ 177 00:07:13,994 --> 00:07:17,565 - Behold, these homeless layabouts 178 00:07:17,632 --> 00:07:19,500 are now off the streets 179 00:07:19,567 --> 00:07:24,106 and safely pacified by the wonders of virtual reality. 180 00:07:24,172 --> 00:07:26,875 [sputtering] 181 00:07:26,942 --> 00:07:29,979 - Everyone looks real happy and well-fed. 182 00:07:30,046 --> 00:07:32,549 What are they seeing in their googly goggles? 183 00:07:32,615 --> 00:07:34,150 - We scan their minds 184 00:07:34,217 --> 00:07:37,054 and deliver a tailor-made fantasy experience-- 185 00:07:37,121 --> 00:07:39,423 another of my many disruptive technologies. 186 00:07:39,490 --> 00:07:40,625 [sputtering] 187 00:07:40,692 --> 00:07:41,860 - You're a disruptor. 188 00:07:41,927 --> 00:07:44,763 He's a total disruptor. 189 00:07:44,829 --> 00:07:48,301 - This is a live feed of their neural activity. 190 00:07:48,367 --> 00:07:51,537 These goggles are letting this man live his ideal life 191 00:07:51,604 --> 00:07:53,640 in the Metaverse. 192 00:07:53,707 --> 00:07:55,275 - Honey, I'm home. 193 00:07:55,342 --> 00:07:57,044 - I'm so glad you're not a heroin-addicted 194 00:07:57,110 --> 00:07:58,980 degenerate gambler anymore... 195 00:07:59,047 --> 00:08:01,883 and that you have a huge penis. 196 00:08:01,950 --> 00:08:04,385 - You're really improving their lives there, Zuck. 197 00:08:04,452 --> 00:08:07,323 I mean, you're not just giving them a pillow 198 00:08:07,389 --> 00:08:09,224 and a place to poop. 199 00:08:09,291 --> 00:08:11,027 - Very astute, Franklin. 200 00:08:11,094 --> 00:08:13,763 You're a credit to people who didn't go to Harvard. 201 00:08:13,830 --> 00:08:17,001 [sputtering] 202 00:08:17,068 --> 00:08:20,338 - And Bravo, Mayor Pimko, for your decision to award 203 00:08:20,404 --> 00:08:22,975 this wonderful man the key to the city. 204 00:08:23,041 --> 00:08:25,577 - Boss man, this place is our answer 205 00:08:25,644 --> 00:08:27,346 to the homeless problemo. 206 00:08:27,412 --> 00:08:29,115 - We pushed you six blocks, 207 00:08:29,182 --> 00:08:31,951 and your wheels are still mucho cleano. 208 00:08:32,018 --> 00:08:35,289 - You didn't roll through one pile of bum shit. 209 00:08:35,356 --> 00:08:38,258 - I'm riding this motherfucker to the White House. 210 00:08:38,325 --> 00:08:40,729 Pimko 2024, baby. 211 00:08:40,795 --> 00:08:42,397 [spits] - Uh-oh, uh-oh. 212 00:08:42,464 --> 00:08:43,698 - Oh! - Bib me, Chuck. 213 00:08:43,765 --> 00:08:45,400 - Fire in the hole! 214 00:08:48,137 --> 00:08:49,105 - Huh. 215 00:08:49,171 --> 00:08:52,843 Mary Tyler Moore, queen of the assholes. 216 00:08:52,909 --> 00:08:55,245 The year was 1967. 217 00:08:55,312 --> 00:08:57,180 She was eating clam chowder on the wharf. 218 00:08:57,247 --> 00:09:00,284 I politely offered my opinion that she could 219 00:09:00,351 --> 00:09:03,421 possibly use bigger tits, and she said, 220 00:09:03,488 --> 00:09:05,791 this man's bothering me. 221 00:09:05,858 --> 00:09:07,593 I don't feel safe. 222 00:09:07,660 --> 00:09:10,029 I should have dumped her clam chowder on her hands 223 00:09:10,095 --> 00:09:11,931 when I had the fucking chance. 224 00:09:11,998 --> 00:09:13,133 [door clicks open] 225 00:09:13,833 --> 00:09:14,968 Ladies. 226 00:09:15,035 --> 00:09:16,904 What a pleasant surprise. 227 00:09:16,971 --> 00:09:19,073 - This is Jen and Kara. 228 00:09:19,140 --> 00:09:21,142 They're here for a sleepover. 229 00:09:21,208 --> 00:09:22,878 - You couldn't have picked a better night. 230 00:09:22,944 --> 00:09:25,280 Happy Cinco de A-hole. 231 00:09:25,347 --> 00:09:26,715 - Excuse me? 232 00:09:26,782 --> 00:09:28,183 - I'm saying A-hole 233 00:09:28,250 --> 00:09:30,687 because swearing in front of kids is shitty. 234 00:09:30,753 --> 00:09:32,822 - We know what A-hole means. 235 00:09:32,889 --> 00:09:35,392 - Whoa, Camille, keep it clean. 236 00:09:35,459 --> 00:09:36,694 This is a party. 237 00:09:36,760 --> 00:09:37,895 - You're by yourself. 238 00:09:37,961 --> 00:09:39,697 - Not anymore. 239 00:09:39,763 --> 00:09:43,568 Ladies, let me show you the best four-hour slide show 240 00:09:43,635 --> 00:09:45,236 you'll ever see. 241 00:09:45,303 --> 00:09:46,839 - Ugh. 242 00:09:46,906 --> 00:09:50,342 - Welcome to hell. 243 00:09:50,409 --> 00:09:53,547 - And our last asshole before the intermission 244 00:09:53,613 --> 00:09:54,681 is Wilt Chamberlain. 245 00:09:54,748 --> 00:09:56,149 Questions, girls? 246 00:09:56,216 --> 00:09:59,387 - [grumbles, burps] Pardon. 247 00:09:59,454 --> 00:10:00,855 - Ugh. 248 00:10:00,922 --> 00:10:05,394 ♪ ♪ 249 00:10:05,461 --> 00:10:06,495 Hey, old-timer. 250 00:10:06,562 --> 00:10:08,831 At least your friends didn't abandon you. 251 00:10:08,897 --> 00:10:10,500 - [coughing] 252 00:10:10,567 --> 00:10:12,035 - Well said, my friend. 253 00:10:12,102 --> 00:10:14,404 This world's full of assholes, don't you think? 254 00:10:14,471 --> 00:10:16,372 - [hocks loogie] 255 00:10:16,439 --> 00:10:19,677 I don't know, I try to keep a positive outlook. 256 00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:21,712 [urine trickling] 257 00:10:21,779 --> 00:10:23,215 - Nice. 258 00:10:23,281 --> 00:10:24,750 [zipper zips] [engine rumbling] 259 00:10:24,816 --> 00:10:26,918 - There's that damn Megashelter bus. 260 00:10:26,985 --> 00:10:28,621 I ain't gettin' on. 261 00:10:28,688 --> 00:10:30,490 [hocks loogie] 262 00:10:30,556 --> 00:10:32,525 - Free Megashelter headsets. 263 00:10:32,592 --> 00:10:35,462 - Hey, that's pretty. 264 00:10:35,529 --> 00:10:38,031 - Here you go, Piss Pants. 265 00:10:39,700 --> 00:10:42,103 - What the fuck? 266 00:10:42,170 --> 00:10:44,572 Guys, you're being brainwashed! 267 00:10:44,639 --> 00:10:45,874 I'm coming with you. 268 00:10:45,940 --> 00:10:48,010 I got to tell my asshole friends 269 00:10:48,077 --> 00:10:50,579 this Zuckerberg isn't on the up-and-up. 270 00:10:50,646 --> 00:10:51,881 - Quiet. 271 00:10:51,947 --> 00:10:54,217 I'm getting a handy from Kelly Ripa. 272 00:10:58,689 --> 00:11:00,057 [indistinct chatter] 273 00:11:00,124 --> 00:11:02,693 - This is some fine shindig. 274 00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:06,365 And good on you for treating these filthy hobos 275 00:11:06,431 --> 00:11:07,566 with dignity. 276 00:11:07,633 --> 00:11:09,835 - Dignity is my middle name. 277 00:11:09,902 --> 00:11:10,970 Just kidding. It's-- 278 00:11:11,037 --> 00:11:12,906 both: Elliot. We know. 279 00:11:12,972 --> 00:11:14,407 - Seasoning pass, Chef. 280 00:11:14,474 --> 00:11:16,342 - Sí, señorita. 281 00:11:16,409 --> 00:11:17,711 - Salt. 282 00:11:17,778 --> 00:11:19,213 Pepper. 283 00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:20,481 Salsa. 284 00:11:20,548 --> 00:11:22,016 [salsa music] 285 00:11:22,082 --> 00:11:25,020 - [vocalizing] 286 00:11:25,086 --> 00:11:28,491 ♪ ♪ 287 00:11:28,558 --> 00:11:30,326 And now dip me. 288 00:11:30,393 --> 00:11:31,828 [grunts] 289 00:11:31,894 --> 00:11:34,965 - [yowling] 290 00:11:35,032 --> 00:11:37,534 I'll get some more fake meat from the walk-in. 291 00:11:37,601 --> 00:11:39,436 [vocalizing] 292 00:11:39,503 --> 00:11:41,172 - I'm Gordon Ramsay, 293 00:11:41,239 --> 00:11:44,008 and I want to know which fucking chef had the balls 294 00:11:44,075 --> 00:11:45,977 to serve this fucking dish! 295 00:11:46,044 --> 00:11:48,914 - [stammering] 296 00:11:48,981 --> 00:11:51,517 - Because it is fucking delicious, 297 00:11:51,584 --> 00:11:53,053 you cheeky little fucker! 298 00:11:53,119 --> 00:11:54,988 - I've never been called little. 299 00:11:55,055 --> 00:11:57,591 - I want to introduce you to some posh people, 300 00:11:57,657 --> 00:11:59,227 you fucking wanker! 301 00:11:59,293 --> 00:12:01,329 - Meat coming at you, Freddy. 302 00:12:02,063 --> 00:12:02,997 [bowl shatters] 303 00:12:03,064 --> 00:12:05,033 Whoa, Freddy. 304 00:12:05,100 --> 00:12:07,035 Where the fuck did he go? 305 00:12:08,670 --> 00:12:10,305 - Franklin, we got to talk. 306 00:12:10,372 --> 00:12:12,609 - What the hell are you doing here, Phineas? 307 00:12:12,675 --> 00:12:14,077 You smell like piss. 308 00:12:14,143 --> 00:12:15,511 - Don't worry. It ain't mine. 309 00:12:15,578 --> 00:12:17,147 Listen, we got to split. 310 00:12:17,214 --> 00:12:18,849 You don't want anything to do with this place. 311 00:12:18,916 --> 00:12:20,484 [gobbling] 312 00:12:20,551 --> 00:12:22,888 These crab cakes are delightful. 313 00:12:22,954 --> 00:12:24,256 Keep 'em coming. 314 00:12:24,322 --> 00:12:25,857 They're using these goggles on the homeless 315 00:12:25,924 --> 00:12:27,325 to control their minds. 316 00:12:27,392 --> 00:12:28,427 - Calm down. 317 00:12:28,494 --> 00:12:30,696 Those gizmos help them envision 318 00:12:30,763 --> 00:12:33,232 their best lives in the Metaverse. 319 00:12:33,299 --> 00:12:35,168 - What flavor Kool-Aid you drinking? 320 00:12:35,235 --> 00:12:37,137 - Come on, Phin, you're just angry 321 00:12:37,204 --> 00:12:40,140 nobody came to your Cinco de Bitch Fest. 322 00:12:40,207 --> 00:12:42,243 - [scoffs] I got to find someone levelheaded 323 00:12:42,310 --> 00:12:43,745 who's not on the take. 324 00:12:43,811 --> 00:12:45,680 Hey, there's Hunter Biden. 325 00:12:45,747 --> 00:12:48,584 [dramatic rock music] 326 00:12:48,651 --> 00:12:50,352 ♪ ♪ 327 00:12:50,419 --> 00:12:52,656 - [yowling] 328 00:12:52,722 --> 00:12:53,857 What the-- 329 00:12:53,924 --> 00:12:56,559 Freddy's out there networking with Gordon Ramsay 330 00:12:56,626 --> 00:13:00,231 while I'm in here scalding six of my eight nipples. 331 00:13:00,298 --> 00:13:04,101 Steak kebabs up, hot and ready to trot. 332 00:13:04,168 --> 00:13:05,837 Ah, that fat-ass is taking selfies 333 00:13:05,904 --> 00:13:07,639 with Millie Bobby Brown? 334 00:13:07,706 --> 00:13:09,174 Or is that Bobby Brown? 335 00:13:09,241 --> 00:13:11,210 Or is that Billy Bobby Thornton? 336 00:13:11,277 --> 00:13:14,047 Ah, fuck, I'm working too hard. 337 00:13:15,181 --> 00:13:17,318 - It looks exactly like real steak. 338 00:13:17,384 --> 00:13:20,688 - It is real steak, just grown in a lab. 339 00:13:20,754 --> 00:13:22,022 And the taste is outstanding. 340 00:13:22,089 --> 00:13:23,391 Bah! 341 00:13:23,458 --> 00:13:25,327 - I've had the porterhouse at Peter Luger, 342 00:13:25,393 --> 00:13:28,331 and this makes that taste like Ruth's Chris. 343 00:13:28,397 --> 00:13:30,700 - Oh, my God, Mark, it's delicious. 344 00:13:30,766 --> 00:13:33,202 And knowing that no animals died for it? 345 00:13:33,269 --> 00:13:35,005 It's amazing. - Mmm. 346 00:13:35,072 --> 00:13:37,074 - Isn't it something? 347 00:13:37,140 --> 00:13:39,176 - Well, it's something, 348 00:13:39,242 --> 00:13:40,678 just not beef. 349 00:13:40,745 --> 00:13:43,214 [dramatic music] 350 00:13:43,281 --> 00:13:45,450 - You are mistaken, friend. 351 00:13:45,516 --> 00:13:48,620 These are actual bovine cells grown in a lab. 352 00:13:48,687 --> 00:13:51,757 It is molecularly identical to cow beef. 353 00:13:51,824 --> 00:13:53,827 - Hey, I don't want to whip up a dust storm, 354 00:13:53,893 --> 00:13:56,529 but I grew up roping cattle and eating it. 355 00:13:56,596 --> 00:14:00,101 And I'm telling you, this ain't beef. 356 00:14:00,167 --> 00:14:03,537 - [gibbering] 357 00:14:03,604 --> 00:14:05,774 Facebook. 358 00:14:07,042 --> 00:14:08,643 - Kitty, there you are. 359 00:14:08,710 --> 00:14:10,847 You didn't come to bed last night. 360 00:14:10,913 --> 00:14:13,149 - No, I most certainly did not. 361 00:14:13,216 --> 00:14:15,985 - Mm, damn, I don't got to speak cat 362 00:14:16,052 --> 00:14:17,388 to know what that means. 363 00:14:17,454 --> 00:14:20,224 You, my friend, are in trouble. 364 00:14:20,290 --> 00:14:22,560 - It's bad enough you didn't pull your weight. 365 00:14:22,627 --> 00:14:25,263 But when you were out there hobnobbing with Steph Curry 366 00:14:25,330 --> 00:14:27,132 and my girl Ayesha, 367 00:14:27,198 --> 00:14:29,535 did you say, Kitty made these? 368 00:14:29,602 --> 00:14:32,071 Did you mention my name to anyone? 369 00:14:32,138 --> 00:14:33,239 Huh? Huh? 370 00:14:33,305 --> 00:14:34,775 - I'm sorry, Kitty. 371 00:14:34,841 --> 00:14:36,676 I got caught up in the moment. 372 00:14:36,743 --> 00:14:38,879 - I just don't know if I could cook with you 373 00:14:38,945 --> 00:14:41,282 at the Zuckerberg Award Dinner. 374 00:14:41,349 --> 00:14:44,285 - Please, Kitty, give me another chance. 375 00:14:44,352 --> 00:14:46,855 I'll shout your name from the rooftops. 376 00:14:46,922 --> 00:14:49,358 - I'll shout your name from the rooftops, Chef. 377 00:14:49,425 --> 00:14:50,826 You got it, fuckface? 378 00:14:50,893 --> 00:14:52,027 - Yes, Chef. 379 00:14:52,094 --> 00:14:53,797 Ow, oh, my eye. 380 00:14:53,863 --> 00:14:55,532 - Morning, Phin. [sniffs] 381 00:14:55,598 --> 00:14:59,303 Ah, you know, most people who get pissed on 382 00:14:59,370 --> 00:15:01,439 change their pants the next day. 383 00:15:01,505 --> 00:15:04,409 - Well, most people have more than one pair of pants! 384 00:15:04,476 --> 00:15:07,279 - What's next, more than one pair of underpants? 385 00:15:07,345 --> 00:15:09,147 Where does it end? 386 00:15:09,214 --> 00:15:11,417 - Anyway, I would like to inform you both 387 00:15:11,484 --> 00:15:13,319 that your services as my friends 388 00:15:13,386 --> 00:15:14,787 are no longer needed. 389 00:15:14,854 --> 00:15:16,222 - OK. 390 00:15:17,257 --> 00:15:19,259 - I've got a new crew. 391 00:15:20,327 --> 00:15:24,365 I said, I've got a new crew. 392 00:15:24,432 --> 00:15:25,733 - Ugh, what do you want? 393 00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:30,606 - You guys know C-Dog, Jen, and...Braces. 394 00:15:30,673 --> 00:15:33,175 You dudes down to finish up that slide show now? 395 00:15:33,242 --> 00:15:34,377 - We have school. 396 00:15:34,444 --> 00:15:35,779 We're leaving now. 397 00:15:35,846 --> 00:15:37,147 - Cool. Cool. 398 00:15:37,214 --> 00:15:38,248 DM me. 399 00:15:38,315 --> 00:15:39,483 - Hey, Franklin. 400 00:15:39,549 --> 00:15:41,018 Mark wanted me to show you this text. 401 00:15:41,085 --> 00:15:45,389 - Oh, a textual message from Mark Zuckerberg. 402 00:15:45,456 --> 00:15:49,561 Said he is sorry for making alien noises at me. 403 00:15:49,628 --> 00:15:54,100 Wants to get my opinion on how to make his beef taste better. 404 00:15:54,167 --> 00:15:56,703 Sending a limousine for me. 405 00:15:56,769 --> 00:15:59,106 - You really made an impression on him. 406 00:15:59,173 --> 00:16:00,441 - I give the guy credit. 407 00:16:00,508 --> 00:16:04,178 Takes a big man to admit he's wrong. 408 00:16:04,246 --> 00:16:07,782 - Yes, but it takes an even bigger man to hold a grudge, 409 00:16:07,849 --> 00:16:09,684 which I continue to do. 410 00:16:09,751 --> 00:16:12,255 [car horn beeping] 411 00:16:12,321 --> 00:16:14,657 - Adios, gents. That's my ride. 412 00:16:14,724 --> 00:16:17,261 - What'd I miss? 413 00:16:17,327 --> 00:16:19,763 [upbeat music] 414 00:16:19,830 --> 00:16:21,064 - Come on, man. 415 00:16:21,131 --> 00:16:23,101 Having sex with your baby mama 416 00:16:23,168 --> 00:16:24,903 and your baby mama's mama? 417 00:16:24,969 --> 00:16:26,671 What were you thinking? 418 00:16:26,738 --> 00:16:28,874 - Hey, I handles my shit. 419 00:16:28,941 --> 00:16:30,809 I handles my shit! 420 00:16:30,876 --> 00:16:32,545 Let's go, Brandon. - Get him out of here. 421 00:16:32,611 --> 00:16:34,247 Give me a "Jerry" chant. 422 00:16:34,314 --> 00:16:37,717 audience: Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! 423 00:16:37,784 --> 00:16:39,686 - Look at these toothless inbreds 424 00:16:39,753 --> 00:16:42,056 flashing their tits and chanting his name. 425 00:16:42,123 --> 00:16:44,425 That's respect. 426 00:16:44,492 --> 00:16:46,728 - Been two days since we've seen Franklin. 427 00:16:46,795 --> 00:16:48,797 He and Mark must be really hitting it off. 428 00:16:48,864 --> 00:16:50,732 - Mark? - Did someone say Mark? 429 00:16:50,799 --> 00:16:51,800 - Check it out. 430 00:16:51,867 --> 00:16:54,804 Look at these photos of the two of them. 431 00:16:54,871 --> 00:16:56,005 - That should be us. 432 00:16:56,072 --> 00:16:57,607 Oh. 433 00:16:57,674 --> 00:17:01,512 - And tonight Mark Zuckerberg will be receiving 434 00:17:01,579 --> 00:17:04,516 the Bob Pimko Humanitarian of the Year Award 435 00:17:04,583 --> 00:17:06,651 for his incredible work 436 00:17:06,718 --> 00:17:08,954 ending homelessness in the Bay Area. 437 00:17:09,020 --> 00:17:10,223 - Holy shit. 438 00:17:10,289 --> 00:17:13,125 Franklin-- they've lobotomized him. 439 00:17:13,192 --> 00:17:16,028 I'm coming, man! 440 00:17:16,095 --> 00:17:18,799 [cows mooing] 441 00:17:18,865 --> 00:17:20,133 - Hyah. 442 00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:23,004 Hyah. Go on, get. 443 00:17:23,071 --> 00:17:25,240 [horse whinnies, chuffs] 444 00:17:25,306 --> 00:17:27,208 [can cracks open] 445 00:17:27,275 --> 00:17:29,245 - Hot enough for you, Cowboy? 446 00:17:29,311 --> 00:17:31,413 - That's my girl. 447 00:17:36,219 --> 00:17:37,187 Oh. 448 00:17:37,254 --> 00:17:38,388 - Buddy, can you hear me? 449 00:17:38,455 --> 00:17:39,623 It's Phineas. 450 00:17:39,689 --> 00:17:41,058 I'm getting you out of here. 451 00:17:41,125 --> 00:17:44,428 I'm not gonna let Zuckerborg brainwash my best friend. 452 00:17:44,495 --> 00:17:47,966 - You sure got kissable lips, Gretch. 453 00:17:48,033 --> 00:17:50,002 [smooches] - Ugh! 454 00:17:50,068 --> 00:17:52,105 So much tongue. 455 00:17:52,171 --> 00:17:54,073 [door beeps] 456 00:17:54,140 --> 00:17:56,109 Shit. 457 00:17:56,175 --> 00:17:57,910 - Good news, Mr. Freek. 458 00:17:57,977 --> 00:18:00,147 You've been approved for a life upgrade. 459 00:18:00,214 --> 00:18:02,650 Just have to process you first. 460 00:18:02,716 --> 00:18:05,820 [suspenseful music] 461 00:18:05,887 --> 00:18:12,828 ♪ ♪ 462 00:18:14,563 --> 00:18:15,965 What the hell? 463 00:18:16,032 --> 00:18:18,835 ♪ ♪ 464 00:18:18,902 --> 00:18:21,004 [alarm blaring] - Intruder! 465 00:18:21,071 --> 00:18:24,375 - Intruder. Intruder. Intruder. 466 00:18:28,380 --> 00:18:31,283 - Hey, what the fuck have you done? 467 00:18:31,350 --> 00:18:33,185 - Let's take our pic for the Gram. 468 00:18:33,252 --> 00:18:34,821 Say neurotoxin. 469 00:18:34,888 --> 00:18:36,990 [giggles] 470 00:18:37,057 --> 00:18:41,996 - You...son of a...bitch. 471 00:18:42,063 --> 00:18:44,665 You got to give me the name of your gas guy, by the way. 472 00:18:48,070 --> 00:18:54,577 ♪ ♪ 473 00:18:57,714 --> 00:19:01,652 [dramatic rock music] 474 00:19:01,719 --> 00:19:03,287 - I guess Franklin's not coming. 475 00:19:03,354 --> 00:19:04,723 - Ooh, there's Zuck. 476 00:19:04,789 --> 00:19:06,491 I'm gonna tell him Instagram rules 477 00:19:06,558 --> 00:19:07,992 and TikTok drools. 478 00:19:08,059 --> 00:19:10,863 - I am so hot for you right now. 479 00:19:14,533 --> 00:19:17,704 - Yeah, there's that teamwork. [laughs] 480 00:19:17,771 --> 00:19:20,440 Check out Willie Mays, Gold Gloving this shit. 481 00:19:20,507 --> 00:19:23,077 Now, go on and enjoy the party. 482 00:19:23,144 --> 00:19:24,479 I got the rest. 483 00:19:24,545 --> 00:19:26,080 - Thanks, Kitty. 484 00:19:26,147 --> 00:19:27,448 - That was a test. 485 00:19:27,515 --> 00:19:29,351 - Did I pass? 486 00:19:29,418 --> 00:19:30,853 - Do not leave me to go out 487 00:19:30,919 --> 00:19:32,855 and take all the credit, got it? 488 00:19:32,921 --> 00:19:35,725 - Don't you mean got it, Chef? 489 00:19:35,792 --> 00:19:37,694 - Now, I'm going to take a smoke break. 490 00:19:37,761 --> 00:19:40,197 And your ass better be here when I get back. 491 00:19:40,264 --> 00:19:41,232 - Ow, ow, ow. 492 00:19:41,298 --> 00:19:43,134 - Rule of fours. 493 00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:46,838 [suspenseful music] 494 00:19:46,905 --> 00:19:49,708 [applause] 495 00:19:49,775 --> 00:19:51,977 - Welcome back to the "Phineas" show. 496 00:19:52,044 --> 00:19:55,081 Our first guest is my band teacher. 497 00:19:55,148 --> 00:19:59,853 Let's give a very "Phineas" welcome to Mr. Malouf. 498 00:19:59,920 --> 00:20:02,689 - Boo! You suck, Malouf! - Boo! 499 00:20:02,756 --> 00:20:05,827 - Mr. Malouf, you thought you could destroy me 500 00:20:05,894 --> 00:20:08,263 by making me second triangle. 501 00:20:08,329 --> 00:20:09,964 But look at what I've achieved. 502 00:20:10,032 --> 00:20:11,000 Any thoughts? 503 00:20:11,066 --> 00:20:13,102 - You're a genius, Mr. Phreakers. 504 00:20:13,169 --> 00:20:15,371 I'm a total failure. 505 00:20:15,438 --> 00:20:17,307 Please forgive me. 506 00:20:17,374 --> 00:20:20,310 audience: Phineas! Phineas! 507 00:20:20,377 --> 00:20:22,580 - You know what? I forgive you. 508 00:20:22,647 --> 00:20:24,549 But you're still getting the chowder. 509 00:20:24,615 --> 00:20:28,086 audience: Chowder! Chowder! Chowder! 510 00:20:28,620 --> 00:20:29,888 - [screams] 511 00:20:29,955 --> 00:20:32,658 audience: Phineas! Phineas! Phineas! 512 00:20:36,796 --> 00:20:38,298 - We're clear. 513 00:20:38,364 --> 00:20:40,568 Just some cat getting high. 514 00:20:40,634 --> 00:20:42,770 - For keeping my secret safe, 515 00:20:42,837 --> 00:20:45,105 one platinum-level headset. 516 00:20:45,172 --> 00:20:48,143 You can now do whatever your crippled heart desires 517 00:20:48,210 --> 00:20:49,578 in the Metaverse. 518 00:20:49,644 --> 00:20:52,348 - Hookers. I want to fuck hookers. 519 00:20:52,415 --> 00:20:55,852 - And worry not about Phineas or his cowboy friend. 520 00:20:55,918 --> 00:20:59,423 They're in the Megashelter and will soon be dead. 521 00:20:59,490 --> 00:21:01,124 [laughing] Bah! 522 00:21:01,191 --> 00:21:02,593 - Holy shit. 523 00:21:02,659 --> 00:21:04,829 They're gonna kill Franklin and Phineas. 524 00:21:06,564 --> 00:21:09,167 - [chuckles] Funny story... 525 00:21:09,234 --> 00:21:10,803 - Never mind that. 526 00:21:10,870 --> 00:21:13,105 That Zuckerberg weirdo's a fucking psycho. 527 00:21:13,172 --> 00:21:15,508 He's gonna kill Phineas and Franklin. 528 00:21:15,574 --> 00:21:19,179 Shit, he wants to kill everyone and own everything. 529 00:21:19,246 --> 00:21:22,316 You got to get over to that Megashelter now 530 00:21:22,383 --> 00:21:23,784 and save them. 531 00:21:23,851 --> 00:21:24,752 - I know what you're doing, Kitty. 532 00:21:24,819 --> 00:21:26,120 This is a test. 533 00:21:26,187 --> 00:21:28,624 I don't want to get the spatula again. 534 00:21:28,690 --> 00:21:30,392 - Listen to me, big fella. 535 00:21:30,459 --> 00:21:32,828 Your friends are in danger, and they need you. 536 00:21:32,895 --> 00:21:34,831 - But you need me, Chef. 537 00:21:34,898 --> 00:21:36,733 - I'll cover for us and handle the cooking. 538 00:21:36,799 --> 00:21:38,968 - Uh-uh, I promised I wouldn't leave you 539 00:21:39,035 --> 00:21:41,272 to do this all by yourself. 540 00:21:41,338 --> 00:21:42,473 - All right, Freddy, look. 541 00:21:42,540 --> 00:21:44,141 I was trying to be nice. 542 00:21:44,208 --> 00:21:46,077 But the truth is, having you here 543 00:21:46,144 --> 00:21:48,547 makes everything twice as long. 544 00:21:48,613 --> 00:21:49,848 You're a pain in my ass. 545 00:21:49,915 --> 00:21:52,652 Now, go save the other two pains in my ass. 546 00:22:00,994 --> 00:22:03,163 - Franklin! Phineas! 547 00:22:05,767 --> 00:22:08,069 Franklin! Phineas! 548 00:22:10,839 --> 00:22:12,675 [groans] Think like Phineas. 549 00:22:12,741 --> 00:22:14,944 Think like Phineas. Think like Phineas. 550 00:22:15,010 --> 00:22:16,346 - You were right, Phineas. 551 00:22:16,413 --> 00:22:18,782 You're the smartest man in the world. 552 00:22:18,848 --> 00:22:20,817 Ever since I got these big boobs, 553 00:22:20,884 --> 00:22:22,887 my career has taken off. 554 00:22:22,954 --> 00:22:26,023 - So you're saying I'm a genius? 555 00:22:26,090 --> 00:22:26,991 - Y-yes. 556 00:22:27,058 --> 00:22:28,961 - Hesitation. Hesitation. 557 00:22:29,027 --> 00:22:31,129 You're getting the chowder. 558 00:22:31,196 --> 00:22:32,998 - [screams] 559 00:22:33,065 --> 00:22:35,835 audience: Phineas! Phineas! Phineas! 560 00:22:35,902 --> 00:22:37,904 - Phineas! Phineas! 561 00:22:37,971 --> 00:22:40,741 - Oh, look who decided to join us. 562 00:22:40,808 --> 00:22:43,811 Freddy, come to apologize? 563 00:22:43,877 --> 00:22:45,746 - No, I came to get you out of here. 564 00:22:45,813 --> 00:22:47,182 - Get me out of here? 565 00:22:47,248 --> 00:22:48,183 You hear that? 566 00:22:48,249 --> 00:22:50,785 - Boo! - You suck, Freddy! 567 00:22:50,852 --> 00:22:52,655 - Look around. I'm a genius. 568 00:22:52,722 --> 00:22:54,523 Everyone respects me. 569 00:22:54,590 --> 00:22:56,058 Why the hell would I leave? 570 00:22:56,125 --> 00:22:57,627 My life's never been better. 571 00:22:57,693 --> 00:22:58,996 Are you assholing me? 572 00:22:59,062 --> 00:23:02,332 audience: Chowder! Chowder! Chowder! 573 00:23:02,399 --> 00:23:03,667 [laughter] 574 00:23:03,734 --> 00:23:04,936 - [blubbers] 575 00:23:05,003 --> 00:23:06,204 Shh. 576 00:23:06,270 --> 00:23:09,240 Now, listen, Phineas, this is all fake. 577 00:23:09,307 --> 00:23:13,512 What's real is your life with me, Franklin, and Kitty. 578 00:23:13,579 --> 00:23:15,614 And we have it pretty good. 579 00:23:15,681 --> 00:23:17,117 I don't know. 580 00:23:17,183 --> 00:23:20,754 Audience, you like me staying right here, don't you? 581 00:23:20,820 --> 00:23:23,290 audience: Phineas! Phineas! 582 00:23:23,357 --> 00:23:25,926 - Mark Zuckenberg's controlling your mind, 583 00:23:25,993 --> 00:23:28,363 making you think all this is real. 584 00:23:28,430 --> 00:23:30,232 [dramatic music] 585 00:23:30,298 --> 00:23:32,134 - Holy shit, I remember. 586 00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:34,370 The goggles, getting pissed on. 587 00:23:34,437 --> 00:23:36,305 - [smooches] - Ugh. 588 00:23:36,372 --> 00:23:37,373 Franklin! 589 00:23:37,440 --> 00:23:41,378 audience: Phineas! Phine-- 590 00:23:41,445 --> 00:23:45,215 ♪ ♪ 591 00:23:45,282 --> 00:23:46,651 - [gasps] 592 00:23:46,718 --> 00:23:51,122 ♪ ♪ 593 00:23:51,189 --> 00:23:53,459 Franklin! 594 00:23:53,526 --> 00:23:55,861 - What are you doing, man? 595 00:23:55,928 --> 00:23:59,466 Oh, Jesus fucking Christ. 596 00:24:01,034 --> 00:24:05,273 - Zuckernerd kidnapped us into the Metaverse, man. 597 00:24:05,339 --> 00:24:07,208 ♪ ♪ 598 00:24:07,275 --> 00:24:11,146 Oh, my God, Zuckerberg's grinding up the homeless. 599 00:24:11,213 --> 00:24:12,648 - Holy shit. 600 00:24:12,715 --> 00:24:13,916 I knew it wasn't beef. 601 00:24:13,982 --> 00:24:16,419 ♪ ♪ 602 00:24:16,486 --> 00:24:19,089 - Franklin, Phineas, you're alive! 603 00:24:19,155 --> 00:24:21,959 I went into the Mentalverse and saved you. 604 00:24:22,026 --> 00:24:24,929 - Freddy, you fat hero. 605 00:24:24,995 --> 00:24:26,931 Why are you covered in chowder? 606 00:24:26,997 --> 00:24:29,101 - What do you mean? You were there. 607 00:24:29,167 --> 00:24:31,436 - I'm beginning to think I don't understand 608 00:24:31,503 --> 00:24:32,938 this Metaverse thing. 609 00:24:33,004 --> 00:24:34,173 - Nobody does. 610 00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:37,143 Now, let's go stop this Zuckerberg asshole. 611 00:24:38,377 --> 00:24:39,880 Whoa. 612 00:24:39,947 --> 00:24:42,116 Probably should have shut this off earlier. 613 00:24:42,182 --> 00:24:43,517 Let's go. 614 00:24:47,122 --> 00:24:49,924 - As Humanitarian of the Year 615 00:24:49,991 --> 00:24:53,395 and one of the sm-sm-smartest people 616 00:24:53,462 --> 00:24:54,897 to ever walk the Earth, 617 00:24:54,964 --> 00:24:57,199 I humbly accept this award. 618 00:24:57,266 --> 00:24:58,368 - Stop! 619 00:24:58,435 --> 00:25:00,103 This guy's a murderer! 620 00:25:00,170 --> 00:25:02,539 - He's killing the homeless and grinding them up 621 00:25:02,606 --> 00:25:05,276 into the meat you're eating. [people gasp] 622 00:25:06,377 --> 00:25:08,346 - Wait, so we're eating people? 623 00:25:08,412 --> 00:25:11,517 - Dear God, we're eating human flesh? 624 00:25:11,583 --> 00:25:12,985 - And bones! 625 00:25:13,051 --> 00:25:15,687 [people retching] 626 00:25:15,755 --> 00:25:17,690 - I'm Mark E-period Zuckerberg. 627 00:25:17,757 --> 00:25:19,025 Zuck-Zuck-Zuck! Zuck! Zuck! 628 00:25:19,092 --> 00:25:21,628 Zuck! Zuck! Zu-Zu-Zuck! 629 00:25:21,694 --> 00:25:23,097 I am leaving now. 630 00:25:23,164 --> 00:25:25,533 [retching continues] 631 00:25:25,599 --> 00:25:28,370 - Oh, yeah, and all the credit for this meal 632 00:25:28,436 --> 00:25:30,372 goes to Chef Kitty. 633 00:25:30,438 --> 00:25:33,341 Let's give her a round of applause. 634 00:25:33,408 --> 00:25:34,377 - [retches] 635 00:25:34,443 --> 00:25:36,546 - I appreciate the sentiment, Freddy. 636 00:25:36,612 --> 00:25:39,649 But read the fucking room. 637 00:25:39,716 --> 00:25:42,119 [dramatic rock music] 638 00:25:42,186 --> 00:25:44,855 - I can't believe we were almost turned into hamburgers. 639 00:25:44,922 --> 00:25:47,725 When I die, turn me into a hot dog. 640 00:25:47,792 --> 00:25:49,961 - You're already mostly hot dog, big man. 641 00:25:50,028 --> 00:25:52,164 - Oh, boy. What a week. 642 00:25:52,231 --> 00:25:54,333 Thanks for saving our asses, Fred. 643 00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:57,369 - And for making us see that actual reality 644 00:25:57,436 --> 00:25:59,873 is better than altered reality. 645 00:25:59,940 --> 00:26:04,979 Now let's get high as fuck! 646 00:26:05,046 --> 00:26:07,515 [water bubbling]