1 00:00:11,679 --> 00:00:14,560 What a hellacious day. 2 00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:18,160 I mean, I can't wait to get in my house and just relax. 3 00:00:18,239 --> 00:00:19,640 I'll talk to you later. 4 00:00:23,960 --> 00:00:28,480 And your secret ingredient is fennel! 5 00:00:29,160 --> 00:00:30,600 Evening. 6 00:00:30,679 --> 00:00:32,520 Could you please cover your balls? 7 00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:35,920 Yes, ma'am. Ten gallon hat for a ten gallon... 8 00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:40,119 Oh, God. That's it! House meeting! Now! 9 00:00:41,759 --> 00:00:45,520 I've had it! I'm sick of coming home to a dirty house, empty fridge, 10 00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:48,799 and your bare asses on my custom crafted furniture. 11 00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:52,679 If laying bare buttocked on an ult-tree suede couch is a sin, 12 00:00:52,759 --> 00:00:54,960 then drag me to hell. 13 00:00:55,039 --> 00:00:59,600 And who has been ordering hundreds of dollars of stuff on Amazon? 14 00:01:01,159 --> 00:01:02,920 A Kitty Condo. 15 00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:07,159 New James Patterson book. I'm getting right into this. 16 00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:10,879 Harper is trying to say is that 17 00:01:10,959 --> 00:01:14,480 while you three do contribute a certain repartee and... 18 00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:16,040 - Wisdom? - Odor. 19 00:01:16,120 --> 00:01:19,560 It's time you start pulling your weight a bit mor in the financial sphere. 20 00:01:19,640 --> 00:01:21,519 Get fucking jobs! 21 00:01:22,640 --> 00:01:24,400 Is that some sort of a metaphor? 22 00:01:24,480 --> 00:01:28,159 Yes, a metaphor for "pay rent or get out". 23 00:01:28,239 --> 00:01:33,280 - And you guys still owe me ten bucks. - Will you take a personal cheque? 24 00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:36,280 Gimme back my check book! 25 00:01:38,799 --> 00:01:40,079 Brother... 26 00:01:41,079 --> 00:01:43,439 Three Brothers puffin 27 00:01:43,519 --> 00:01:46,879 And we just woke up in the year 2020 28 00:01:46,959 --> 00:01:49,560 Roll another j and forget the day 29 00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:52,120 Roll another j and get high 30 00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:55,000 Roll another j and forget the day 31 00:01:55,079 --> 00:01:56,959 Me and my brothers getting fried 32 00:01:57,040 --> 00:01:58,640 We're the Freak Brothers 33 00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:06,079 Getting a job wouldn't be the worst thing. 34 00:02:06,159 --> 00:02:08,879 No, no, no! This is how it starts. 35 00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:11,800 You get a job, and then you're paying taxes. 36 00:02:11,879 --> 00:02:13,400 Then before you know it, 37 00:02:13,479 --> 00:02:16,800 you're goose stepping at a torchlit rally in Nuremberg. 38 00:02:16,879 --> 00:02:20,000 And after you know it, you're stepping in goose poop. 39 00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:22,639 I'm not judging you for your life choices. 40 00:02:22,719 --> 00:02:25,960 I don't judge anything, anywhere, for any reason. 41 00:02:26,039 --> 00:02:28,120 Well, this might be an opportune time 42 00:02:28,199 --> 00:02:31,360 to talk to you about my venereal history. 43 00:02:31,439 --> 00:02:35,319 But there is something to be said for self-sufficiency. 44 00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:37,280 It's a very attractive quality. 45 00:02:37,360 --> 00:02:41,000 Attractive quality. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. 46 00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:44,960 Freddy, what the fuck are they talking about? 47 00:02:45,039 --> 00:02:47,520 Goose poop. 48 00:02:49,759 --> 00:02:53,680 Can you explain this fifty-year gap in your work history? 49 00:02:53,759 --> 00:02:55,639 Yes. We were sleeping. 50 00:02:55,719 --> 00:02:58,120 What he means is we were exploring our options. 51 00:02:58,199 --> 00:03:03,159 - It was what the kids call a gap year. - Gap. G-A-P. 52 00:03:03,240 --> 00:03:08,400 Stands for "Ganja and Prostitutes." A.K.A. smokin' and fuckin'. 53 00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:12,960 To be honest, I could give a rat's ass about this gig. 54 00:03:13,039 --> 00:03:14,759 But don't tell the manager when he gets here. 55 00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:16,439 I am the manager. 56 00:03:20,719 --> 00:03:25,520 Yeah, a lady is the manager. And I'm a trumpet! 57 00:03:26,599 --> 00:03:28,120 Get out. 58 00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:33,479 Hi ho, hi ho It's off to work we don't go 59 00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:36,319 Work shmerk! Not everyone should have a job. 60 00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:38,560 You know who liked universal employment? 61 00:03:38,639 --> 00:03:42,039 - Mao Zedong and Joe Stalin. - No. We're not giving up. 62 00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:46,879 There is one place even your anarchist ass wouldn't mind working. 63 00:03:47,919 --> 00:03:51,680 So, we'd really love a job. It seems like a great fit. 64 00:03:51,759 --> 00:03:53,800 Listen, Frank. Can I call you Frank? 65 00:03:53,879 --> 00:03:56,400 - You came to the right place. - You guys working here with us? 66 00:03:56,479 --> 00:04:00,520 - Yes, please! That'd be so tight! - My pants are tight! 67 00:04:00,599 --> 00:04:04,439 Seriously, dude, all you do is just talk weed all day 68 00:04:04,520 --> 00:04:06,039 and you get a great discount. 69 00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:08,599 See, Phineas? Doesn't sound so bad. 70 00:04:08,680 --> 00:04:12,400 Cool. Yeah, just gotta be here every morning at 9:00 am sharp. 71 00:04:12,879 --> 00:04:15,639 And you have to sweep up at the end of your shift. 72 00:04:16,160 --> 00:04:18,160 But you get to keep any coins you find in the dirt. 73 00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:20,160 I found 47 cents once! 74 00:04:20,240 --> 00:04:22,560 At least we get to smoke pot for eight hours. 75 00:04:22,639 --> 00:04:26,079 No, you actually, you can't smoke on the premises. State law. 76 00:04:26,160 --> 00:04:29,639 Well, that's understandable, I guess. 77 00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:33,319 I mean a pharmacist can't pop ludes all day, am I right? 78 00:04:33,399 --> 00:04:35,040 - I mean they probably could... - Hey, Chuck! 79 00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:38,319 Who would you say means the most to you in the world? 80 00:04:38,399 --> 00:04:40,519 - My mom, definitely. - Your mom's a whore. 81 00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:41,720 Fuck you! 82 00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:47,120 Whoa, dude, what the heck, Phineas? Very unchill. 83 00:04:47,199 --> 00:04:50,759 You guys are officially persona non grata. 84 00:04:50,839 --> 00:04:52,560 Great! When do we start? 85 00:04:53,959 --> 00:04:58,639 Well, thanks. You saved us from the evil capitalists again, Phineas. 86 00:04:58,720 --> 00:05:00,160 You're welcome. 87 00:05:00,759 --> 00:05:05,879 Nah. See, if the bag got a picture of a cat on it, it belongs to me. 88 00:05:05,959 --> 00:05:10,360 If it's got a picture of a big fat motherfucker on it, that's all you. 89 00:05:10,439 --> 00:05:14,160 Man, Gretchen's gonna think we're a bunch of shit kickin' losers. 90 00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:16,319 Stupid fuckin' Kitty Condo. 91 00:05:18,399 --> 00:05:20,160 Hey! You seein' this? 92 00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:23,720 Better get your boy under control or we're gonna have a problem. 93 00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:46,680 Kitty! 94 00:05:46,759 --> 00:05:48,879 Waiting on my shipment is how I am. 95 00:05:48,959 --> 00:05:51,279 Where the hell's my Howdy Doody squeeze toy at? 96 00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:53,959 I love that creepy, little, freckle face cowboy. 97 00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:55,680 I'll look into it. 98 00:05:55,759 --> 00:06:00,800 I got 99 problems, and closing in on a trillion dollars net worth ain't one. 99 00:06:01,279 --> 00:06:03,000 You losing Prime customers, JB? 100 00:06:03,079 --> 00:06:05,399 Losing Primers? Jesus, no! 101 00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:07,879 - Don't even say that. - Then what's the trouble, Hubble? 102 00:06:07,959 --> 00:06:10,240 You got the bling, you got the new señorita. 103 00:06:10,319 --> 00:06:13,600 - You're on top of the world, baby. - I'm not worried about this world. 104 00:06:13,680 --> 00:06:18,319 I've got this bet with Elon Musk. First guy to put a man on Mars, wins. 105 00:06:18,399 --> 00:06:20,680 I hear that. What's Mars? 106 00:06:20,759 --> 00:06:23,920 I have the rocket. Problem is the astronauts. 107 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:25,439 I'm trying to cut red tape, 108 00:06:25,519 --> 00:06:28,800 like "safety", "redundant life support systems." 109 00:06:30,560 --> 00:06:34,279 When you say, astronauts how many do you need? 110 00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:37,040 - Anywhere from two to four... - Three? 111 00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:41,199 Yeah, three. But, you know, real schmucks who won't be missed. 112 00:06:58,240 --> 00:07:00,720 - Get the door, you mope. - I'll get it. 113 00:07:01,240 --> 00:07:03,800 Hello. I'm Jeff Bezos from Amazon. 114 00:07:03,879 --> 00:07:06,800 Amazon? You got our goldfish crackers? 115 00:07:06,879 --> 00:07:09,920 I heard you gentlemen might be in need of a job. 116 00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:11,040 - Yeah, but... - No! 117 00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:16,439 - How would you like to be astronauts? - Astronauts? Hot damn! We're in! 118 00:07:16,519 --> 00:07:19,040 Yeah, we're in. 119 00:07:20,279 --> 00:07:24,319 I think I've found my shmucks, astronauts. Men, men. 120 00:07:27,959 --> 00:07:31,360 I'm Mrs. Maisel, star of Amazon's award-winning series 121 00:07:31,439 --> 00:07:33,879 about a female comedian in the '50s. 122 00:07:33,959 --> 00:07:34,959 Here's a joke. 123 00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:38,800 How do you stop a Jewish woman from having sex? 124 00:07:38,879 --> 00:07:40,600 Marry her! 125 00:07:41,839 --> 00:07:45,160 Now it's time to train for your trip to Mars. 126 00:07:45,240 --> 00:07:49,160 This is too cool for school. I'm gonna be a daggum space man! 127 00:07:49,240 --> 00:07:52,160 Franklin, you dumb country bumpkin. 128 00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:54,519 Space travel is a hoax. 129 00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:58,680 Moon landing was shot on a soundstage in Walt Disney's basement. 130 00:07:58,759 --> 00:08:02,319 Wait 'til Gretchen sees you in your space suit! 131 00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:04,759 She'll get a boner. 132 00:08:04,839 --> 00:08:06,680 They're perfect. 133 00:08:06,759 --> 00:08:09,439 Don't they seem a bit limited? 134 00:08:09,519 --> 00:08:13,959 No. "Limited," Jeffrey Tambor, is the number of options you have 135 00:08:14,040 --> 00:08:16,759 after air-humping half the cast of Transparent. 136 00:08:16,839 --> 00:08:18,959 - That was never proven! - It was worse than proven. 137 00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:20,040 It was alleged! 138 00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:24,000 Bottom line, I got you under contract for two more years. 139 00:08:24,079 --> 00:08:27,279 You wear the dress, you wear the wig, you do what I say. 140 00:08:27,360 --> 00:08:29,879 - Yes, milord. - Stop improvising! 141 00:08:29,959 --> 00:08:32,440 And wipe that lipstick off, you look like a whore. 142 00:08:38,720 --> 00:08:41,159 Go on. Open it. 143 00:08:42,919 --> 00:08:45,840 A sixty-four pack of toilet paper. 144 00:08:45,919 --> 00:08:49,320 That is so thoughtful. 145 00:08:49,399 --> 00:08:53,679 Go on try it out. It's the good stuff! We won't need it where we're going. 146 00:08:53,759 --> 00:08:56,120 So, what exactly are you working men doing? 147 00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:57,600 It's top secret. 148 00:08:57,960 --> 00:09:01,000 But Amazon's involved if you catch my drift. 149 00:09:01,080 --> 00:09:03,799 So, you're working in the warehouse? 150 00:09:03,879 --> 00:09:06,200 Heck, no. Suffice it to say, 151 00:09:06,279 --> 00:09:09,480 this will be the most important job we have ever done. 152 00:09:09,559 --> 00:09:12,120 It's the only job you've ever done. 153 00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:14,840 They said not to say nothin', so I'll spell it. 154 00:09:14,919 --> 00:09:18,399 We're going to M-A-R-Z. 155 00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:21,440 That's it, cat's outta the bag, we're astronauts, 156 00:09:21,519 --> 00:09:24,120 and we're blastin' off to Mars tomorrow! 157 00:09:24,559 --> 00:09:26,360 How's that for self-sufficient? 158 00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:30,120 How's that for self-delusional? There is no space program. 159 00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:33,679 It's all a hoax. You fuck! 160 00:09:33,759 --> 00:09:35,559 Don't you need training to be an astronaut? 161 00:09:35,639 --> 00:09:38,200 Astronauts. Yeah, right. 162 00:09:38,720 --> 00:09:40,639 Damn, I got a hangnail. 163 00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:43,039 We received loads of training! 164 00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:46,399 Diversity, sexual harassment... 165 00:09:46,480 --> 00:09:51,120 I learned you gotta tell a woman before you touch her bur-jine-urr. 166 00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:54,320 Well, whatever it is you're doing, I'm very proud. 167 00:09:54,399 --> 00:09:57,519 Yes. You got jobs, whatever they are. 168 00:09:57,600 --> 00:09:59,639 That is the important thing. 169 00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:04,080 Pardon me for offering my two cents, but do you feel no compunction 170 00:10:04,159 --> 00:10:07,399 about sending these picaroons to a likely demise? 171 00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:09,840 I got the most powerful man in the world sending me 172 00:10:09,919 --> 00:10:13,240 the best squeezy toy ever made, that's Howdy Doody by the way, 173 00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:17,080 direct to my door. Do I look compuncted to you? 174 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:21,919 Pretty impressive A-lon? 175 00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:25,639 You haven't won the bet yet, B-zos. Your guys still gotta make it there. 176 00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:27,000 Where'd you find them anyway? 177 00:10:27,080 --> 00:10:29,320 I got this friend who's a cat who found them for me. 178 00:10:29,399 --> 00:10:31,639 You have a friend? What's that like? 179 00:10:46,759 --> 00:10:48,120 Tape! 180 00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:55,559 - Well, hello there, pretty lady. - I hate my life. 181 00:10:55,639 --> 00:10:59,960 Wow, they went all out on this set. This fake Mars mission is gonna give 182 00:11:00,039 --> 00:11:02,080 that fake moon landing a run for its money. 183 00:11:02,159 --> 00:11:06,679 - Right. All this stuff is fake. - So, so fake. 184 00:11:08,159 --> 00:11:11,440 Styrofoam and dry ice? 185 00:11:11,519 --> 00:11:14,879 And forty million newtons of thrust! 186 00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:19,759 First men on Mars. We're gonna get a hell of a parade. 187 00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:24,519 Now, they're pumping rocket fuel scented air freshener in here? 188 00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:26,080 Nice touch, Bezos! 189 00:11:26,159 --> 00:11:28,519 Someone call out things I can say ""check" to! 190 00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:30,200 Sure thing, fellow astronauts! 191 00:11:30,279 --> 00:11:32,320 - Seat belts. - Check! That's everything. 192 00:11:32,399 --> 00:11:34,559 - Three, two, one, launch! - No, wait! 193 00:11:36,039 --> 00:11:41,759 Whoa! Holy shit! We're going to space! 194 00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:46,559 I'm a space cowboy. Yee-haw! 195 00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:52,480 Eject button! Can't move hand! 196 00:11:52,559 --> 00:11:57,120 Get away from button. 197 00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:58,519 Stop. 198 00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:00,200 - Get away! - No! 199 00:12:00,279 --> 00:12:04,799 Don't need seatbelt! Big boy. 200 00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:08,200 No! 201 00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:11,080 Wanna pay me what you owe me now? 202 00:12:11,159 --> 00:12:13,960 - One dollar. - No way, mutha-fucka. 203 00:12:14,039 --> 00:12:15,799 You still have to stick the landing. 204 00:12:15,879 --> 00:12:19,679 Now, if you'll excuse me, my hyperloop awaits. 205 00:12:19,759 --> 00:12:22,320 Mrs. Bezos, nice meeting you. 206 00:12:22,399 --> 00:12:25,120 You gave up half your empire for this? 207 00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:47,159 No! Come back! Are you fucking crazy, Phineas? 208 00:12:47,240 --> 00:12:51,759 - We were going to Mars! - Exactly! We were going to Mars! 209 00:12:51,840 --> 00:12:55,360 - I don't even like leaving the house! - I was gonna come home a hero! 210 00:12:55,440 --> 00:12:57,639 Be on the cover of Life Magazine. 211 00:12:57,720 --> 00:13:00,960 More like the cover of Dead Guy Magazine. 212 00:13:01,039 --> 00:13:04,120 Every time somethin' good comes my way, 213 00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:07,879 you take the wheel and drive us into a ditch. 214 00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:10,919 - You got something to say? Say it! - I hate you! 215 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:15,279 - You always find a way to ruin my life. - Stop talking in metaphors. 216 00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:17,200 I can't have a conversation with this guy! 217 00:13:17,919 --> 00:13:19,639 People of Mars! 218 00:13:19,720 --> 00:13:23,200 I bring you greetings from Planet Earth. 219 00:13:24,759 --> 00:13:25,799 Goddammit! 220 00:13:25,879 --> 00:13:28,279 Whose idea was it to have a functioning ejection button? 221 00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:32,480 Hey, now! Don't look at me. Shall I release the dollar? 222 00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:38,200 Never! Musk doesn't know they ejected, and he never will. 223 00:13:38,279 --> 00:13:40,639 - Are you thinking what I'm thinking? - What are you thinking? 224 00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:43,639 That I get to starin a show where I don't have to wear grandma panties? 225 00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:45,519 Yeah. That's what America's waiting for. 226 00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:49,600 You know how we digitally removed you from all past seasons of Transparent? 227 00:13:49,679 --> 00:13:50,960 What? You did? 228 00:13:51,039 --> 00:13:55,000 We'll use the same CGI technology to place the Freaks in the capsule 229 00:13:55,080 --> 00:13:56,879 and show them landing on Mars. 230 00:13:56,960 --> 00:13:59,799 But what about the actual Freaks? 231 00:13:59,879 --> 00:14:02,159 We'll kill them. Activate the asset. 232 00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:04,519 Activating asset. 233 00:14:09,519 --> 00:14:11,279 The rocket was real, okay? 234 00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:14,360 I was wrong about that. But we're not real astronauts. 235 00:14:14,440 --> 00:14:16,039 Why would they send us? 236 00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:20,559 - Doesn't something feel off to you? - Yeah. Something feels off! 237 00:14:20,639 --> 00:14:25,240 We're in the middle of the desert when we should be on our way to Mars! 238 00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:27,919 Guys, don't fight in front of the Martians. 239 00:14:30,399 --> 00:14:33,840 I don't know why I ever do anything you say. 240 00:14:33,919 --> 00:14:37,200 - You always let us down. - Wait a minute! 241 00:14:37,279 --> 00:14:42,080 - When have I ever, ever let us down? - Let's see here. Here we go. 242 00:14:42,159 --> 00:14:44,440 Putting us to sleep for fifty years. 243 00:14:44,519 --> 00:14:48,200 Burning my draft card. Which was still in my wallet. 244 00:14:48,279 --> 00:14:51,639 Which was still in my pants. Which was still on my body! 245 00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:54,000 Better than going to Vietnam, wasn't it? 246 00:14:54,080 --> 00:14:57,919 Telling me college was a conspiracy of the education complex. 247 00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:01,480 Condoms were a conspiracy of the latex complex. 248 00:15:01,559 --> 00:15:04,639 Jobs were a conspiracy of the employment complex... 249 00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:07,720 And finally, making us leave our apartment 250 00:15:07,799 --> 00:15:11,679 because it was a conspiracy of the apartment complex! 251 00:15:11,759 --> 00:15:14,120 - Where are you going? - Back to Amazon! 252 00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:16,320 I'm gettin' on the next rocket to Mars. 253 00:15:16,399 --> 00:15:19,480 - If they'll still have me. - You can't just go. 254 00:15:19,559 --> 00:15:21,759 - What about Freddy? - He's a grown man. 255 00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:23,840 He can take care of himself. 256 00:15:23,919 --> 00:15:27,240 Captain's log, I have made contact with Martians. 257 00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:29,759 They do not like to be hugged. 258 00:15:29,840 --> 00:15:33,200 Go! Who needs ya? Just be careful where you walk! 259 00:15:33,279 --> 00:15:35,799 The desert's a playground for the CIA! 260 00:15:35,879 --> 00:15:38,679 Filled with trip wires, and coyote people! 261 00:15:39,279 --> 00:15:42,120 Yes, Kitty. All good. They're on their way to the red planet. 262 00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:45,080 Thanks again for the referral. That's five percent off your next order. 263 00:15:45,159 --> 00:15:46,559 Yeah, yeah. 264 00:15:46,639 --> 00:15:49,279 The number I'm most concerned with is "three". 265 00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:51,240 That's three days in a row I've gone outside 266 00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:54,320 and not seen Howdy Doody on my doorstep. 267 00:15:56,440 --> 00:15:58,240 Prime member? Smell ya later, Kitty! 268 00:15:58,320 --> 00:16:00,360 Customer in Tai Pei got the wrong mattress. 269 00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:03,639 JB? We had a deal man! 270 00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:06,399 Hello? He did not just hang up on me. 271 00:16:07,279 --> 00:16:10,840 I'm worried about Franklin. Do you think he's in danger? 272 00:16:10,919 --> 00:16:13,399 Of course, he's in danger. We're all in danger. 273 00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:15,399 I just haven't cracked what's going on yet. 274 00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:18,639 But I feel like I'm gettin' close. 275 00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:24,639 What the fuck was that? 276 00:16:24,720 --> 00:16:27,840 It feels like somebody's trying to send us a message. 277 00:16:27,919 --> 00:16:31,480 Maybe they want us to learn piano! 278 00:16:32,159 --> 00:16:33,559 A ride home! 279 00:16:37,519 --> 00:16:40,759 Jeff Bezos says, hello. 280 00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:46,759 I told you here were tripwires in this desert! 281 00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:48,759 So, I was right! Wait! 282 00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:51,840 That guy said, "Jeff Bezos says, hello". 283 00:16:51,919 --> 00:16:55,080 So, that means, Hang on, I almost got it. 284 00:16:55,799 --> 00:16:58,399 Jeff Bezos is trying to kill us! 285 00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:00,159 Franklin! 286 00:17:13,519 --> 00:17:17,519 Thank God! Hey, it's me! 287 00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:20,920 Hello? 288 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:25,000 Mr. Bezos? It's me. Freewheelin' Franklin Freek. 289 00:17:25,079 --> 00:17:29,599 I'm sorry that idiot Phineas screwed up your space launch! 290 00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:33,559 We were sort of like brothers, which is why I listened to him. 291 00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:36,480 But we're not brothers anymore! 292 00:17:39,440 --> 00:17:40,920 Hello? 293 00:17:42,119 --> 00:17:43,400 What the heck? 294 00:17:46,559 --> 00:17:47,839 Where am I? 295 00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:50,480 And now, ladies and gentlemen, 296 00:17:50,559 --> 00:17:55,480 from her Amazon Original Series, the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel! 297 00:17:55,559 --> 00:17:56,680 Hey now! 298 00:17:57,039 --> 00:17:58,599 Thank you! 299 00:17:58,680 --> 00:18:00,799 Can someone turn down these lights? 300 00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:04,240 I'm shvitzing like a moyel with Parkinson's! 301 00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:06,440 I gotta get back on a rocket, 302 00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:08,839 so I can go up to Mars, and then come back a hero. 303 00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:13,240 Come back? That was a one-way trip. 304 00:18:13,319 --> 00:18:15,559 You were never coming back, darling. 305 00:18:16,319 --> 00:18:19,160 Oh, my God. I'm such an idiot. 306 00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:21,839 One last joke before I kill you! 307 00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:25,640 How do you stop an empowered woman with the juiciest brisket in Manhattan, 308 00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:28,319 and a forty-five pointed at your heart? 309 00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:33,519 With a one-ton pallet of Fiji water, that's how! 310 00:18:33,599 --> 00:18:36,039 On special for Prime Members! 311 00:18:37,519 --> 00:18:41,680 I know I always say you screw up my life, which you do. 312 00:18:41,759 --> 00:18:43,640 But you just saved it. 313 00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:46,519 - So, I guess I owe you... - An apology? 314 00:18:46,599 --> 00:18:48,640 I was gonna say a beer and a burger, 315 00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:53,440 but if it's an apology you want, well, hey, that's a lot cheaper. 316 00:18:54,119 --> 00:18:57,240 I know sometimes I can sound a bit overly accurate 317 00:18:57,319 --> 00:19:00,200 which people might interpret as crazy! 318 00:19:00,279 --> 00:19:03,000 - But I'm gonna work on it. - Hey, you are crazy. 319 00:19:03,079 --> 00:19:05,400 Crazy as a menstruatin' armadilla. 320 00:19:05,480 --> 00:19:09,160 - But, hey, thanks brother. - All right. Let's get out here. 321 00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:11,880 - Freddy? - Just a second! 322 00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:13,839 Oh, perfect! 323 00:19:14,519 --> 00:19:17,519 Shit! How are we gonna get home, now? 324 00:19:17,599 --> 00:19:18,960 How about those? 325 00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:29,160 Born to be high 326 00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:35,039 Born to be high 327 00:19:37,839 --> 00:19:40,920 Oh, gotta weed smoke With my G, cold 328 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:44,119 Hoppin' out the sixes With some gypsies in the freak rows 329 00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:47,160 You can see smoke Often as a rooted to my seat 330 00:19:47,240 --> 00:19:49,960 Got the munchies Man, I need to get 331 00:19:50,039 --> 00:19:53,119 I get high, I get high, I'm never coming down 332 00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:56,200 Give me Kush, give me Haze They lift me up the ground 333 00:19:56,279 --> 00:19:59,279 When your life gets tough And you don't know how 334 00:19:59,359 --> 00:20:02,640 Light a spliff and keep on pushin' 'Cause you have right now 335 00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:07,680 Home sweet home. Good to be back on planet Earth. 336 00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:15,960 What the hell are you doing here? 337 00:20:16,039 --> 00:20:19,920 It's a long story. It all started back in 1969. 338 00:20:20,559 --> 00:20:22,799 Here, I got you something from Mars. 339 00:20:28,799 --> 00:20:31,920 You fat, beautiful son of a bitch. 340 00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:37,000 Unlocking doors. Hello, father. 341 00:20:37,079 --> 00:20:39,559 If you wanna build a trillion-dollar company, 342 00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:42,880 or kill someone, you gotta do it yourself. 343 00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:46,079 - Jeffrey! - I'm sorry, I'm under contract. 344 00:20:47,559 --> 00:20:48,559 Hello, Kitty. 345 00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:52,440 You'll probably want to stand on this side of Mademoiselle Tambor. 346 00:20:52,519 --> 00:20:55,079 JB, I ain't gonna let you do this. 347 00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:57,559 Call off your wife, or I'm canceling Prime. 348 00:20:57,640 --> 00:21:01,759 No! You can't cancel Prime. Nobody cancels Prime. 349 00:21:01,839 --> 00:21:04,759 My whole empire is primed on the primacy of Prime! 350 00:21:04,839 --> 00:21:07,759 Don't do the crime if you can't lose the Prime. 351 00:21:07,839 --> 00:21:10,240 You're really going to give it all up? 352 00:21:10,319 --> 00:21:12,839 The treats? The scratching post? For what? 353 00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:16,240 - These Freaks? - He delivered. 354 00:21:17,319 --> 00:21:21,039 - You didn't. - Got you there, boss. Hey now! 355 00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:28,799 You're a worthy adversary, Kitty. 356 00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:37,279 - Kitty, you saved us. - What else is new, bitches? 357 00:21:37,359 --> 00:21:40,480 That feels good. Yeah, behind the ears. 358 00:21:40,559 --> 00:21:43,920 Now lower. To the left. 359 00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:47,240 I think we all learned a little something here today. 360 00:21:47,319 --> 00:21:50,799 Something every school child should take to heart. 361 00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:54,079 Nothing good ever comes from having a job. 362 00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:57,079 - Jobs bad! - Hey, why aren't you guys at work? 363 00:21:57,160 --> 00:21:58,960 Great, let me guess. 364 00:21:59,039 --> 00:22:01,319 If you guess that we're home early because we ejected 365 00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:03,680 from a rocket ship, you guessed right. 366 00:22:03,759 --> 00:22:05,240 Well, the deal hasn't changed. 367 00:22:05,319 --> 00:22:07,559 If you want to keep living here, you have to get a job. 368 00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:10,640 You don't understand, we... You're right. 369 00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:12,839 We'll start looking for a new gig tomorrow. 370 00:22:12,920 --> 00:22:16,039 And now that you have "astronaut" on your resumés, 371 00:22:16,119 --> 00:22:18,000 I'm sure something will open up. 372 00:22:18,079 --> 00:22:22,039 Oh, Kitty! You gotta stop playing with my laser pointer. 373 00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:25,519 I hate my life. 374 00:22:30,839 --> 00:22:33,240 I'm gonna get those Freak Brothers. 375 00:22:33,319 --> 00:22:35,359 And their little Kitty too! 376 00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:39,599 Holy shit, what is that?