1
00:00:11,679 --> 00:00:14,560
What a hellacious day.
2
00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:18,160
I mean, I can't wait to get
in my house and just relax.
3
00:00:18,239 --> 00:00:19,640
I'll talk to you later.
4
00:00:23,960 --> 00:00:28,480
And your secret ingredient is fennel!
5
00:00:29,160 --> 00:00:30,600
Evening.
6
00:00:30,679 --> 00:00:32,520
Could you please cover
your balls?
7
00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:35,920
Yes, ma'am.
Ten gallon hat for a ten gallon...
8
00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:40,119
Oh, God. That's it!
House meeting! Now!
9
00:00:41,759 --> 00:00:45,520
I've had it! I'm sick of coming home
to a dirty house, empty fridge,
10
00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:48,799
and your bare asses
on my custom crafted furniture.
11
00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:52,679
If laying bare buttocked
on an ult-tree suede couch is a sin,
12
00:00:52,759 --> 00:00:54,960
then drag me to hell.
13
00:00:55,039 --> 00:00:59,600
And who has been ordering
hundreds of dollars of stuff on Amazon?
14
00:01:01,159 --> 00:01:02,920
A Kitty Condo.
15
00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:07,159
New James Patterson book.
I'm getting right into this.
16
00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:10,879
Harper is trying to say is that
17
00:01:10,959 --> 00:01:14,480
while you three do contribute
a certain repartee and...
18
00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:16,040
- Wisdom?
- Odor.
19
00:01:16,120 --> 00:01:19,560
It's time you start pulling your weight
a bit mor in the financial sphere.
20
00:01:19,640 --> 00:01:21,519
Get fucking jobs!
21
00:01:22,640 --> 00:01:24,400
Is that some sort of a metaphor?
22
00:01:24,480 --> 00:01:28,159
Yes, a metaphor for
"pay rent or get out".
23
00:01:28,239 --> 00:01:33,280
- And you guys still owe me ten bucks.
- Will you take a personal cheque?
24
00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:36,280
Gimme back my check book!
25
00:01:38,799 --> 00:01:40,079
Brother...
26
00:01:41,079 --> 00:01:43,439
Three Brothers puffin
27
00:01:43,519 --> 00:01:46,879
And we just woke up in the year 2020
28
00:01:46,959 --> 00:01:49,560
Roll another j and forget the day
29
00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:52,120
Roll another j and get high
30
00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:55,000
Roll another j and forget the day
31
00:01:55,079 --> 00:01:56,959
Me and my brothers getting fried
32
00:01:57,040 --> 00:01:58,640
We're the Freak Brothers
33
00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:06,079
Getting a job
wouldn't be the worst thing.
34
00:02:06,159 --> 00:02:08,879
No, no, no!
This is how it starts.
35
00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:11,800
You get a job,
and then you're paying taxes.
36
00:02:11,879 --> 00:02:13,400
Then before you know it,
37
00:02:13,479 --> 00:02:16,800
you're goose stepping
at a torchlit rally in Nuremberg.
38
00:02:16,879 --> 00:02:20,000
And after you know it,
you're stepping in goose poop.
39
00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:22,639
I'm not judging you
for your life choices.
40
00:02:22,719 --> 00:02:25,960
I don't judge anything,
anywhere, for any reason.
41
00:02:26,039 --> 00:02:28,120
Well, this might be
an opportune time
42
00:02:28,199 --> 00:02:31,360
to talk to you
about my venereal history.
43
00:02:31,439 --> 00:02:35,319
But there is something
to be said for self-sufficiency.
44
00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:37,280
It's a very attractive quality.
45
00:02:37,360 --> 00:02:41,000
Attractive quality.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
46
00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:44,960
Freddy, what the fuck
are they talking about?
47
00:02:45,039 --> 00:02:47,520
Goose poop.
48
00:02:49,759 --> 00:02:53,680
Can you explain this fifty-year gap
in your work history?
49
00:02:53,759 --> 00:02:55,639
Yes. We were sleeping.
50
00:02:55,719 --> 00:02:58,120
What he means is we were
exploring our options.
51
00:02:58,199 --> 00:03:03,159
- It was what the kids call a gap year.
- Gap. G-A-P.
52
00:03:03,240 --> 00:03:08,400
Stands for "Ganja and Prostitutes."
A.K.A. smokin' and fuckin'.
53
00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:12,960
To be honest, I could give
a rat's ass about this gig.
54
00:03:13,039 --> 00:03:14,759
But don't tell the manager
when he gets here.
55
00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:16,439
I am the manager.
56
00:03:20,719 --> 00:03:25,520
Yeah, a lady is the manager.
And I'm a trumpet!
57
00:03:26,599 --> 00:03:28,120
Get out.
58
00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:33,479
Hi ho, hi ho
It's off to work we don't go
59
00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:36,319
Work shmerk!
Not everyone should have a job.
60
00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:38,560
You know who liked
universal employment?
61
00:03:38,639 --> 00:03:42,039
- Mao Zedong and Joe Stalin.
- No. We're not giving up.
62
00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:46,879
There is one place even your anarchist
ass wouldn't mind working.
63
00:03:47,919 --> 00:03:51,680
So, we'd really love a job.
It seems like a great fit.
64
00:03:51,759 --> 00:03:53,800
Listen, Frank.
Can I call you Frank?
65
00:03:53,879 --> 00:03:56,400
- You came to the right place.
- You guys working here with us?
66
00:03:56,479 --> 00:04:00,520
- Yes, please! That'd be so tight!
- My pants are tight!
67
00:04:00,599 --> 00:04:04,439
Seriously, dude, all you do is just
talk weed all day
68
00:04:04,520 --> 00:04:06,039
and you get a great discount.
69
00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:08,599
See, Phineas?
Doesn't sound so bad.
70
00:04:08,680 --> 00:04:12,400
Cool. Yeah, just gotta be here
every morning at 9:00 am sharp.
71
00:04:12,879 --> 00:04:15,639
And you have to sweep up
at the end of your shift.
72
00:04:16,160 --> 00:04:18,160
But you get to keep
any coins you find in the dirt.
73
00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:20,160
I found 47 cents once!
74
00:04:20,240 --> 00:04:22,560
At least we get to smoke pot
for eight hours.
75
00:04:22,639 --> 00:04:26,079
No, you actually, you can't smoke
on the premises. State law.
76
00:04:26,160 --> 00:04:29,639
Well, that's understandable,
I guess.
77
00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:33,319
I mean a pharmacist
can't pop ludes all day, am I right?
78
00:04:33,399 --> 00:04:35,040
- I mean they probably could...
- Hey, Chuck!
79
00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:38,319
Who would you say means
the most to you in the world?
80
00:04:38,399 --> 00:04:40,519
- My mom, definitely.
- Your mom's a whore.
81
00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:41,720
Fuck you!
82
00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:47,120
Whoa, dude, what the heck, Phineas?
Very unchill.
83
00:04:47,199 --> 00:04:50,759
You guys are officially
persona non grata.
84
00:04:50,839 --> 00:04:52,560
Great! When do we start?
85
00:04:53,959 --> 00:04:58,639
Well, thanks. You saved us from
the evil capitalists again, Phineas.
86
00:04:58,720 --> 00:05:00,160
You're welcome.
87
00:05:00,759 --> 00:05:05,879
Nah. See, if the bag got a picture
of a cat on it, it belongs to me.
88
00:05:05,959 --> 00:05:10,360
If it's got a picture of a big fat
motherfucker on it, that's all you.
89
00:05:10,439 --> 00:05:14,160
Man, Gretchen's gonna think
we're a bunch of shit kickin' losers.
90
00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:16,319
Stupid fuckin' Kitty Condo.
91
00:05:18,399 --> 00:05:20,160
Hey! You seein' this?
92
00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:23,720
Better get your boy under control
or we're gonna have a problem.
93
00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:46,680
Kitty!
94
00:05:46,759 --> 00:05:48,879
Waiting on my shipment
is how I am.
95
00:05:48,959 --> 00:05:51,279
Where the hell's my Howdy Doody
squeeze toy at?
96
00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:53,959
I love that creepy, little,
freckle face cowboy.
97
00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:55,680
I'll look into it.
98
00:05:55,759 --> 00:06:00,800
I got 99 problems, and closing in on
a trillion dollars net worth ain't one.
99
00:06:01,279 --> 00:06:03,000
You losing Prime customers, JB?
100
00:06:03,079 --> 00:06:05,399
Losing Primers? Jesus, no!
101
00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:07,879
- Don't even say that.
- Then what's the trouble, Hubble?
102
00:06:07,959 --> 00:06:10,240
You got the bling,
you got the new señorita.
103
00:06:10,319 --> 00:06:13,600
- You're on top of the world, baby.
- I'm not worried about this world.
104
00:06:13,680 --> 00:06:18,319
I've got this bet with Elon Musk.
First guy to put a man on Mars, wins.
105
00:06:18,399 --> 00:06:20,680
I hear that. What's Mars?
106
00:06:20,759 --> 00:06:23,920
I have the rocket.
Problem is the astronauts.
107
00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:25,439
I'm trying to cut red tape,
108
00:06:25,519 --> 00:06:28,800
like "safety",
"redundant life support systems."
109
00:06:30,560 --> 00:06:34,279
When you say, astronauts
how many do you need?
110
00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:37,040
- Anywhere from two to four...
- Three?
111
00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:41,199
Yeah, three. But, you know,
real schmucks who won't be missed.
112
00:06:58,240 --> 00:07:00,720
- Get the door, you mope.
- I'll get it.
113
00:07:01,240 --> 00:07:03,800
Hello. I'm Jeff Bezos
from Amazon.
114
00:07:03,879 --> 00:07:06,800
Amazon?
You got our goldfish crackers?
115
00:07:06,879 --> 00:07:09,920
I heard you gentlemen
might be in need of a job.
116
00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:11,040
- Yeah, but...
- No!
117
00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:16,439
- How would you like to be astronauts?
- Astronauts? Hot damn! We're in!
118
00:07:16,519 --> 00:07:19,040
Yeah, we're in.
119
00:07:20,279 --> 00:07:24,319
I think I've found my shmucks,
astronauts. Men, men.
120
00:07:27,959 --> 00:07:31,360
I'm Mrs. Maisel, star of
Amazon's award-winning series
121
00:07:31,439 --> 00:07:33,879
about a female comedian
in the '50s.
122
00:07:33,959 --> 00:07:34,959
Here's a joke.
123
00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:38,800
How do you stop a Jewish woman
from having sex?
124
00:07:38,879 --> 00:07:40,600
Marry her!
125
00:07:41,839 --> 00:07:45,160
Now it's time to train
for your trip to Mars.
126
00:07:45,240 --> 00:07:49,160
This is too cool for school.
I'm gonna be a daggum space man!
127
00:07:49,240 --> 00:07:52,160
Franklin, you dumb country bumpkin.
128
00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:54,519
Space travel is a hoax.
129
00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:58,680
Moon landing was shot on a soundstage
in Walt Disney's basement.
130
00:07:58,759 --> 00:08:02,319
Wait 'til Gretchen sees you
in your space suit!
131
00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:04,759
She'll get a boner.
132
00:08:04,839 --> 00:08:06,680
They're perfect.
133
00:08:06,759 --> 00:08:09,439
Don't they seem a bit limited?
134
00:08:09,519 --> 00:08:13,959
No. "Limited," Jeffrey Tambor,
is the number of options you have
135
00:08:14,040 --> 00:08:16,759
after air-humping
half the cast of Transparent.
136
00:08:16,839 --> 00:08:18,959
- That was never proven!
- It was worse than proven.
137
00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:20,040
It was alleged!
138
00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:24,000
Bottom line, I got you under contract
for two more years.
139
00:08:24,079 --> 00:08:27,279
You wear the dress, you wear the wig,
you do what I say.
140
00:08:27,360 --> 00:08:29,879
- Yes, milord.
- Stop improvising!
141
00:08:29,959 --> 00:08:32,440
And wipe that lipstick off,
you look like a whore.
142
00:08:38,720 --> 00:08:41,159
Go on. Open it.
143
00:08:42,919 --> 00:08:45,840
A sixty-four pack of toilet paper.
144
00:08:45,919 --> 00:08:49,320
That is so thoughtful.
145
00:08:49,399 --> 00:08:53,679
Go on try it out. It's the good stuff!
We won't need it where we're going.
146
00:08:53,759 --> 00:08:56,120
So, what exactly are you
working men doing?
147
00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:57,600
It's top secret.
148
00:08:57,960 --> 00:09:01,000
But Amazon's involved
if you catch my drift.
149
00:09:01,080 --> 00:09:03,799
So, you're working
in the warehouse?
150
00:09:03,879 --> 00:09:06,200
Heck, no.
Suffice it to say,
151
00:09:06,279 --> 00:09:09,480
this will be the most important job
we have ever done.
152
00:09:09,559 --> 00:09:12,120
It's the only job
you've ever done.
153
00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:14,840
They said not to say nothin',
so I'll spell it.
154
00:09:14,919 --> 00:09:18,399
We're going to M-A-R-Z.
155
00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:21,440
That's it, cat's outta the bag,
we're astronauts,
156
00:09:21,519 --> 00:09:24,120
and we're blastin' off
to Mars tomorrow!
157
00:09:24,559 --> 00:09:26,360
How's that for self-sufficient?
158
00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:30,120
How's that for self-delusional?
There is no space program.
159
00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:33,679
It's all a hoax. You fuck!
160
00:09:33,759 --> 00:09:35,559
Don't you need training
to be an astronaut?
161
00:09:35,639 --> 00:09:38,200
Astronauts. Yeah, right.
162
00:09:38,720 --> 00:09:40,639
Damn, I got a hangnail.
163
00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:43,039
We received loads of training!
164
00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:46,399
Diversity, sexual harassment...
165
00:09:46,480 --> 00:09:51,120
I learned you gotta tell a woman
before you touch her bur-jine-urr.
166
00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:54,320
Well, whatever it is you're doing,
I'm very proud.
167
00:09:54,399 --> 00:09:57,519
Yes. You got jobs,
whatever they are.
168
00:09:57,600 --> 00:09:59,639
That is the important thing.
169
00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:04,080
Pardon me for offering my two cents,
but do you feel no compunction
170
00:10:04,159 --> 00:10:07,399
about sending these picaroons
to a likely demise?
171
00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:09,840
I got the most powerful man
in the world sending me
172
00:10:09,919 --> 00:10:13,240
the best squeezy toy ever made,
that's Howdy Doody by the way,
173
00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:17,080
direct to my door.
Do I look compuncted to you?
174
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:21,919
Pretty impressive A-lon?
175
00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:25,639
You haven't won the bet yet, B-zos.
Your guys still gotta make it there.
176
00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:27,000
Where'd you find them anyway?
177
00:10:27,080 --> 00:10:29,320
I got this friend who's
a cat who found them for me.
178
00:10:29,399 --> 00:10:31,639
You have a friend?
What's that like?
179
00:10:46,759 --> 00:10:48,120
Tape!
180
00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:55,559
- Well, hello there, pretty lady.
- I hate my life.
181
00:10:55,639 --> 00:10:59,960
Wow, they went all out on this set.
This fake Mars mission is gonna give
182
00:11:00,039 --> 00:11:02,080
that fake moon landing
a run for its money.
183
00:11:02,159 --> 00:11:06,679
- Right. All this stuff is fake.
- So, so fake.
184
00:11:08,159 --> 00:11:11,440
Styrofoam and dry ice?
185
00:11:11,519 --> 00:11:14,879
And forty million newtons of thrust!
186
00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:19,759
First men on Mars.
We're gonna get a hell of a parade.
187
00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:24,519
Now, they're pumping rocket fuel
scented air freshener in here?
188
00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:26,080
Nice touch, Bezos!
189
00:11:26,159 --> 00:11:28,519
Someone call out things
I can say ""check" to!
190
00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:30,200
Sure thing, fellow astronauts!
191
00:11:30,279 --> 00:11:32,320
- Seat belts.
- Check! That's everything.
192
00:11:32,399 --> 00:11:34,559
- Three, two, one, launch!
- No, wait!
193
00:11:36,039 --> 00:11:41,759
Whoa! Holy shit!
We're going to space!
194
00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:46,559
I'm a space cowboy. Yee-haw!
195
00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:52,480
Eject button! Can't move hand!
196
00:11:52,559 --> 00:11:57,120
Get away from button.
197
00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:58,519
Stop.
198
00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:00,200
- Get away!
- No!
199
00:12:00,279 --> 00:12:04,799
Don't need seatbelt!
Big boy.
200
00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:08,200
No!
201
00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:11,080
Wanna pay me
what you owe me now?
202
00:12:11,159 --> 00:12:13,960
- One dollar.
- No way, mutha-fucka.
203
00:12:14,039 --> 00:12:15,799
You still have to stick the landing.
204
00:12:15,879 --> 00:12:19,679
Now, if you'll excuse me,
my hyperloop awaits.
205
00:12:19,759 --> 00:12:22,320
Mrs. Bezos, nice meeting you.
206
00:12:22,399 --> 00:12:25,120
You gave up half your empire for this?
207
00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:47,159
No! Come back!
Are you fucking crazy, Phineas?
208
00:12:47,240 --> 00:12:51,759
- We were going to Mars!
- Exactly! We were going to Mars!
209
00:12:51,840 --> 00:12:55,360
- I don't even like leaving the house!
- I was gonna come home a hero!
210
00:12:55,440 --> 00:12:57,639
Be on the cover of Life Magazine.
211
00:12:57,720 --> 00:13:00,960
More like the cover
of Dead Guy Magazine.
212
00:13:01,039 --> 00:13:04,120
Every time somethin' good
comes my way,
213
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:07,879
you take the wheel
and drive us into a ditch.
214
00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:10,919
- You got something to say? Say it!
- I hate you!
215
00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:15,279
- You always find a way to ruin my life.
- Stop talking in metaphors.
216
00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:17,200
I can't have a conversation
with this guy!
217
00:13:17,919 --> 00:13:19,639
People of Mars!
218
00:13:19,720 --> 00:13:23,200
I bring you greetings
from Planet Earth.
219
00:13:24,759 --> 00:13:25,799
Goddammit!
220
00:13:25,879 --> 00:13:28,279
Whose idea was it to have
a functioning ejection button?
221
00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:32,480
Hey, now! Don't look at me.
Shall I release the dollar?
222
00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:38,200
Never! Musk doesn't know they ejected,
and he never will.
223
00:13:38,279 --> 00:13:40,639
- Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
- What are you thinking?
224
00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:43,639
That I get to starin a show where
I don't have to wear grandma panties?
225
00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:45,519
Yeah. That's what America's
waiting for.
226
00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:49,600
You know how we digitally removed you
from all past seasons of Transparent?
227
00:13:49,679 --> 00:13:50,960
What? You did?
228
00:13:51,039 --> 00:13:55,000
We'll use the same CGI technology
to place the Freaks in the capsule
229
00:13:55,080 --> 00:13:56,879
and show them landing on Mars.
230
00:13:56,960 --> 00:13:59,799
But what about
the actual Freaks?
231
00:13:59,879 --> 00:14:02,159
We'll kill them.
Activate the asset.
232
00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:04,519
Activating asset.
233
00:14:09,519 --> 00:14:11,279
The rocket was real, okay?
234
00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:14,360
I was wrong about that.
But we're not real astronauts.
235
00:14:14,440 --> 00:14:16,039
Why would they send us?
236
00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:20,559
- Doesn't something feel off to you?
- Yeah. Something feels off!
237
00:14:20,639 --> 00:14:25,240
We're in the middle of the desert
when we should be on our way to Mars!
238
00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:27,919
Guys, don't fight in front
of the Martians.
239
00:14:30,399 --> 00:14:33,840
I don't know why I ever do anything
you say.
240
00:14:33,919 --> 00:14:37,200
- You always let us down.
- Wait a minute!
241
00:14:37,279 --> 00:14:42,080
- When have I ever, ever let us down?
- Let's see here. Here we go.
242
00:14:42,159 --> 00:14:44,440
Putting us to sleep for fifty years.
243
00:14:44,519 --> 00:14:48,200
Burning my draft card.
Which was still in my wallet.
244
00:14:48,279 --> 00:14:51,639
Which was still in my pants.
Which was still on my body!
245
00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:54,000
Better than going to Vietnam,
wasn't it?
246
00:14:54,080 --> 00:14:57,919
Telling me college was a conspiracy
of the education complex.
247
00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:01,480
Condoms were a conspiracy
of the latex complex.
248
00:15:01,559 --> 00:15:04,639
Jobs were a conspiracy
of the employment complex...
249
00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:07,720
And finally, making us leave
our apartment
250
00:15:07,799 --> 00:15:11,679
because it was a conspiracy
of the apartment complex!
251
00:15:11,759 --> 00:15:14,120
- Where are you going?
- Back to Amazon!
252
00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:16,320
I'm gettin' on the next rocket to Mars.
253
00:15:16,399 --> 00:15:19,480
- If they'll still have me.
- You can't just go.
254
00:15:19,559 --> 00:15:21,759
- What about Freddy?
- He's a grown man.
255
00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:23,840
He can take care of himself.
256
00:15:23,919 --> 00:15:27,240
Captain's log, I have made contact
with Martians.
257
00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:29,759
They do not like to be hugged.
258
00:15:29,840 --> 00:15:33,200
Go! Who needs ya?
Just be careful where you walk!
259
00:15:33,279 --> 00:15:35,799
The desert's a playground
for the CIA!
260
00:15:35,879 --> 00:15:38,679
Filled with trip wires,
and coyote people!
261
00:15:39,279 --> 00:15:42,120
Yes, Kitty. All good.
They're on their way to the red planet.
262
00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:45,080
Thanks again for the referral.
That's five percent off your next order.
263
00:15:45,159 --> 00:15:46,559
Yeah, yeah.
264
00:15:46,639 --> 00:15:49,279
The number I'm most
concerned with is "three".
265
00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:51,240
That's three days in a row
I've gone outside
266
00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:54,320
and not seen Howdy Doody
on my doorstep.
267
00:15:56,440 --> 00:15:58,240
Prime member?
Smell ya later, Kitty!
268
00:15:58,320 --> 00:16:00,360
Customer in Tai Pei
got the wrong mattress.
269
00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:03,639
JB? We had a deal man!
270
00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:06,399
Hello? He did not just
hang up on me.
271
00:16:07,279 --> 00:16:10,840
I'm worried about Franklin.
Do you think he's in danger?
272
00:16:10,919 --> 00:16:13,399
Of course, he's in danger.
We're all in danger.
273
00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:15,399
I just haven't cracked
what's going on yet.
274
00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:18,639
But I feel like I'm gettin' close.
275
00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:24,639
What the fuck was that?
276
00:16:24,720 --> 00:16:27,840
It feels like somebody's trying
to send us a message.
277
00:16:27,919 --> 00:16:31,480
Maybe they want us
to learn piano!
278
00:16:32,159 --> 00:16:33,559
A ride home!
279
00:16:37,519 --> 00:16:40,759
Jeff Bezos says, hello.
280
00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:46,759
I told you here were tripwires
in this desert!
281
00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:48,759
So, I was right! Wait!
282
00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:51,840
That guy said,
"Jeff Bezos says, hello".
283
00:16:51,919 --> 00:16:55,080
So, that means,
Hang on, I almost got it.
284
00:16:55,799 --> 00:16:58,399
Jeff Bezos is trying to kill us!
285
00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:00,159
Franklin!
286
00:17:13,519 --> 00:17:17,519
Thank God! Hey, it's me!
287
00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:20,920
Hello?
288
00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:25,000
Mr. Bezos? It's me.
Freewheelin' Franklin Freek.
289
00:17:25,079 --> 00:17:29,599
I'm sorry that idiot Phineas
screwed up your space launch!
290
00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:33,559
We were sort of like brothers,
which is why I listened to him.
291
00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:36,480
But we're not brothers anymore!
292
00:17:39,440 --> 00:17:40,920
Hello?
293
00:17:42,119 --> 00:17:43,400
What the heck?
294
00:17:46,559 --> 00:17:47,839
Where am I?
295
00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:50,480
And now,
ladies and gentlemen,
296
00:17:50,559 --> 00:17:55,480
from her Amazon Original Series,
the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel!
297
00:17:55,559 --> 00:17:56,680
Hey now!
298
00:17:57,039 --> 00:17:58,599
Thank you!
299
00:17:58,680 --> 00:18:00,799
Can someone turn down these lights?
300
00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:04,240
I'm shvitzing like a moyel
with Parkinson's!
301
00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:06,440
I gotta get back on a rocket,
302
00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:08,839
so I can go up to Mars,
and then come back a hero.
303
00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:13,240
Come back?
That was a one-way trip.
304
00:18:13,319 --> 00:18:15,559
You were never coming back, darling.
305
00:18:16,319 --> 00:18:19,160
Oh, my God. I'm such an idiot.
306
00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:21,839
One last joke before I kill you!
307
00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:25,640
How do you stop an empowered woman
with the juiciest brisket in Manhattan,
308
00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:28,319
and a forty-five pointed
at your heart?
309
00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:33,519
With a one-ton pallet of Fiji water,
that's how!
310
00:18:33,599 --> 00:18:36,039
On special for Prime Members!
311
00:18:37,519 --> 00:18:41,680
I know I always say
you screw up my life, which you do.
312
00:18:41,759 --> 00:18:43,640
But you just saved it.
313
00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:46,519
- So, I guess I owe you...
- An apology?
314
00:18:46,599 --> 00:18:48,640
I was gonna say a beer
and a burger,
315
00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:53,440
but if it's an apology you want,
well, hey, that's a lot cheaper.
316
00:18:54,119 --> 00:18:57,240
I know sometimes I can sound
a bit overly accurate
317
00:18:57,319 --> 00:19:00,200
which people
might interpret as crazy!
318
00:19:00,279 --> 00:19:03,000
- But I'm gonna work on it.
- Hey, you are crazy.
319
00:19:03,079 --> 00:19:05,400
Crazy as a menstruatin' armadilla.
320
00:19:05,480 --> 00:19:09,160
- But, hey, thanks brother.
- All right. Let's get out here.
321
00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:11,880
- Freddy?
- Just a second!
322
00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:13,839
Oh, perfect!
323
00:19:14,519 --> 00:19:17,519
Shit! How are we
gonna get home, now?
324
00:19:17,599 --> 00:19:18,960
How about those?
325
00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:29,160
Born to be high
326
00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:35,039
Born to be high
327
00:19:37,839 --> 00:19:40,920
Oh, gotta weed smoke
With my G, cold
328
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:44,119
Hoppin' out the sixes
With some gypsies in the freak rows
329
00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:47,160
You can see smoke
Often as a rooted to my seat
330
00:19:47,240 --> 00:19:49,960
Got the munchies
Man, I need to get
331
00:19:50,039 --> 00:19:53,119
I get high, I get high,
I'm never coming down
332
00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:56,200
Give me Kush, give me Haze
They lift me up the ground
333
00:19:56,279 --> 00:19:59,279
When your life gets tough
And you don't know how
334
00:19:59,359 --> 00:20:02,640
Light a spliff and keep on pushin'
'Cause you have right now
335
00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:07,680
Home sweet home.
Good to be back on planet Earth.
336
00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:15,960
What the hell are you doing here?
337
00:20:16,039 --> 00:20:19,920
It's a long story.
It all started back in 1969.
338
00:20:20,559 --> 00:20:22,799
Here, I got you something
from Mars.
339
00:20:28,799 --> 00:20:31,920
You fat, beautiful son of a bitch.
340
00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:37,000
Unlocking doors.
Hello, father.
341
00:20:37,079 --> 00:20:39,559
If you wanna build
a trillion-dollar company,
342
00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:42,880
or kill someone,
you gotta do it yourself.
343
00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:46,079
- Jeffrey!
- I'm sorry, I'm under contract.
344
00:20:47,559 --> 00:20:48,559
Hello, Kitty.
345
00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:52,440
You'll probably want to stand
on this side of Mademoiselle Tambor.
346
00:20:52,519 --> 00:20:55,079
JB, I ain't gonna let you do this.
347
00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:57,559
Call off your wife,
or I'm canceling Prime.
348
00:20:57,640 --> 00:21:01,759
No! You can't cancel Prime.
Nobody cancels Prime.
349
00:21:01,839 --> 00:21:04,759
My whole empire is primed
on the primacy of Prime!
350
00:21:04,839 --> 00:21:07,759
Don't do the crime
if you can't lose the Prime.
351
00:21:07,839 --> 00:21:10,240
You're really going
to give it all up?
352
00:21:10,319 --> 00:21:12,839
The treats?
The scratching post? For what?
353
00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:16,240
- These Freaks?
- He delivered.
354
00:21:17,319 --> 00:21:21,039
- You didn't.
- Got you there, boss. Hey now!
355
00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:28,799
You're a worthy adversary, Kitty.
356
00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:37,279
- Kitty, you saved us.
- What else is new, bitches?
357
00:21:37,359 --> 00:21:40,480
That feels good.
Yeah, behind the ears.
358
00:21:40,559 --> 00:21:43,920
Now lower. To the left.
359
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:47,240
I think we all learned
a little something here today.
360
00:21:47,319 --> 00:21:50,799
Something every school child
should take to heart.
361
00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:54,079
Nothing good ever comes
from having a job.
362
00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:57,079
- Jobs bad!
- Hey, why aren't you guys at work?
363
00:21:57,160 --> 00:21:58,960
Great, let me guess.
364
00:21:59,039 --> 00:22:01,319
If you guess that we're home
early because we ejected
365
00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:03,680
from a rocket ship,
you guessed right.
366
00:22:03,759 --> 00:22:05,240
Well, the deal hasn't changed.
367
00:22:05,319 --> 00:22:07,559
If you want to keep living here,
you have to get a job.
368
00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:10,640
You don't understand, we...
You're right.
369
00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:12,839
We'll start looking
for a new gig tomorrow.
370
00:22:12,920 --> 00:22:16,039
And now that you have
"astronaut" on your resumés,
371
00:22:16,119 --> 00:22:18,000
I'm sure something will open up.
372
00:22:18,079 --> 00:22:22,039
Oh, Kitty! You gotta stop
playing with my laser pointer.
373
00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:25,519
I hate my life.
374
00:22:30,839 --> 00:22:33,240
I'm gonna get those Freak Brothers.
375
00:22:33,319 --> 00:22:35,359
And their little Kitty too!
376
00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:39,599
Holy shit, what is that?