1
00:00:11,599 --> 00:00:15,560
I can't believe old Melvin Mah's
record store is still in business.
2
00:00:18,320 --> 00:00:23,920
Melvin! Get your oriental ass out here
and say hello to your old friends.
3
00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:25,559
Freaks in the house!
4
00:00:25,640 --> 00:00:28,239
Chuck and Charlie?
You work here now?
5
00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:30,239
What happened
with the weed store?
6
00:00:30,719 --> 00:00:34,719
Yeah, my Uncle Melvin fell into a coma
from all the drugs he did...
7
00:00:34,799 --> 00:00:37,679
So who better to manage
a record store than two guys
8
00:00:37,759 --> 00:00:39,240
who just got fired
from a weed store?
9
00:00:39,320 --> 00:00:43,039
- Coma? Is he in the hospital?
- No, he's right over there.
10
00:00:44,960 --> 00:00:46,880
Come on, Uncle Melvin.
11
00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:50,079
I just reorganized
the stock room yesterday.
12
00:00:50,159 --> 00:00:51,759
He's always riding our asses.
13
00:00:51,840 --> 00:00:54,000
Screw you, old man!
14
00:00:54,600 --> 00:00:59,119
- He's lucky to have you boys.
- We got some grade-A vinyl for sale.
15
00:00:59,439 --> 00:01:01,560
Holy shit!
16
00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:04,599
The White Album? If this one's clean,
it's worth a fortune.
17
00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:07,000
Sorry that one's not for sale.
18
00:01:07,079 --> 00:01:10,319
I got it when my parents kicked me
outta the house for turning 32.
19
00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:15,359
The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan.
This is worth some scrilla.
20
00:01:15,439 --> 00:01:18,840
Whoa, can't sell that.
That's my love-makin' track.
21
00:01:18,920 --> 00:01:21,599
That's the disc was playin'
when I had my first threesome.
22
00:01:21,680 --> 00:01:22,680
That's funny.
23
00:01:22,760 --> 00:01:26,200
My mom told me that it was playing
when she had her first threesome!
24
00:01:26,280 --> 00:01:27,280
Wait...
25
00:01:27,359 --> 00:01:31,439
- I'm not selling my album either!
- Freddy, that's a photo album.
26
00:01:31,519 --> 00:01:33,040
And I still like listening to it!
27
00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:36,519
Oh, my gosh man. You dudes have got
some great discs here.
28
00:01:36,599 --> 00:01:40,040
Do you want to get high
and listen to so me tunes?
29
00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:43,959
We could possibly be convinced.
30
00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:46,480
Brother...
31
00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:50,040
Three brothers puffin
32
00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:53,400
And we just woke up in the year 2020
33
00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:56,159
Roll another j and forget the day
34
00:01:56,239 --> 00:01:58,959
Roll another j and get high
35
00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:01,599
Roll another j and forget the day
36
00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:03,439
Me and my brothers getting fried
37
00:02:03,519 --> 00:02:05,719
We're the Freak Brothers
38
00:02:13,560 --> 00:02:16,439
So are you guys excited
about my big event tonight?
39
00:02:16,520 --> 00:02:18,319
- What event?
- Seriously, Mom?
40
00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:22,719
- She told you about it a million times.
- Could you tell me a million and one?
41
00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:25,919
The gala for my charity,
"Felines for Felons".
42
00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:29,919
It's so awesome! They pair
therapy cats with felons in prison.
43
00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:32,599
And we're throwing a gala tonight
for the felons who've been released.
44
00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:33,919
Okay, we'll come.
45
00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:36,599
I just wish you had given us
a little heads up.
46
00:02:36,680 --> 00:02:39,400
She's been talking about it
nonstop for weeks.
47
00:02:39,479 --> 00:02:42,120
What did you think
all of these were for?
48
00:02:42,560 --> 00:02:44,080
I thought after years
of being single,
49
00:02:44,159 --> 00:02:46,080
you decided to become
a crazy cat lady.
50
00:02:46,159 --> 00:02:47,759
Hey, baby!
51
00:02:48,280 --> 00:02:51,759
So, you're Siamese.
You got yourself a twin.
52
00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:54,680
I'm gonna get spit roasted tonight!
53
00:03:04,159 --> 00:03:07,879
This stuff's amazing!
Where'd you get it?
54
00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:11,039
You're not gonna believe it.
We got it from Schoolboy Q.
55
00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:13,240
Oh, my gosh! He was so cool.
56
00:03:13,319 --> 00:03:15,960
Like, he's in town shooting
a remake of Dirty Harry,
57
00:03:16,039 --> 00:03:19,199
and we like smoked him up
and he signed this for us.
58
00:03:20,120 --> 00:03:22,039
Bruh, I see girls everywhere
59
00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:25,360
Titty, ass, hands in the air,
it's a party over here
60
00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:28,159
This is great. What is this?
61
00:03:28,240 --> 00:03:30,800
You guys have never
heard rap before?
62
00:03:30,879 --> 00:03:34,919
Dude, come on. Don't be insensitive.
They were asleep for fifty years.
63
00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:39,479
This sumbitch got a beat!
Pop pooty pop pop.
64
00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:41,360
I like that he says curse words!
65
00:03:41,439 --> 00:03:44,120
Tank top top down for the breeze
Burnt lips, got a blunt full of weed
66
00:03:44,199 --> 00:03:46,960
This weed pairs wonderfully
with this music.
67
00:03:47,319 --> 00:03:51,319
We gotta get some more.
Where can we find this Schoolboy Q?
68
00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:53,439
He said he was shooting down
at the wharf.
69
00:03:53,520 --> 00:03:57,680
Gentlemen! To the wharf!
See you on the flipside, Melvin!
70
00:03:57,759 --> 00:03:59,360
Peace out, dudes!
71
00:04:01,879 --> 00:04:03,560
Bounce for the crown
Fast forward getting real
72
00:04:03,639 --> 00:04:05,639
Tell me now
Every dog need a cat to meow...
73
00:04:05,719 --> 00:04:09,080
- Damn. He's got some skills.
- Honestly? Decent flow.
74
00:04:09,159 --> 00:04:12,159
Blazing a pound, jumping around
Tits, ass bump out her gown...
75
00:04:15,120 --> 00:04:17,759
You gotta ask
yourself one question.
76
00:04:17,839 --> 00:04:20,079
"Am I a lucky mother fucker?"
77
00:04:20,480 --> 00:04:23,839
Well, are you a lucky mother fucker?
Mother fucker!
78
00:04:23,920 --> 00:04:25,839
Just like the lyrics to his song!
79
00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:29,879
Cut! Who the fuck are they?
Who's in charge of the fucking extras?
80
00:04:29,959 --> 00:04:33,600
Who are these fucking assholes
wandering through my fucking shot?
81
00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:35,000
Fucking fire them!
82
00:04:35,079 --> 00:04:37,319
Nah, man!
I like the way they look.
83
00:04:37,399 --> 00:04:39,519
Using real homeless
adds authenticity.
84
00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:42,040
Hey, Mr. Q. Nice to meet you.
85
00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:44,879
We just smoked some of your shit
with old Melvin Mah.
86
00:04:44,959 --> 00:04:46,480
That catatonic mother fucker?
87
00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:49,240
That dude's crazy!
Smoked me under the table.
88
00:04:49,319 --> 00:04:53,319
So, Chuck and Charlie played us
some of your rippity-rap music,
89
00:04:53,399 --> 00:04:55,079
which we really, truly enjoyed.
90
00:04:55,160 --> 00:04:58,519
But not as much
as your mind-blowing weed.
91
00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:01,199
- We want some more.
- You want some of the good shit?
92
00:05:01,279 --> 00:05:03,439
I can appreciate a man
who appreciates good weed.
93
00:05:03,519 --> 00:05:06,680
Hey, we on five, Solomon!
Two-Ton! Where's my whip?
94
00:05:07,319 --> 00:05:09,720
Check this shit out.
That's a custom made,
95
00:05:09,800 --> 00:05:11,920
Bentley golf cart, solid gold, punk!
96
00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:14,120
Well, can't be completely solid gold.
97
00:05:14,199 --> 00:05:18,399
Gotta have some moving parts,
liquid coolants and...
98
00:05:19,439 --> 00:05:23,920
But you know, what do I know?
Last I heard, women had pubic hair.
99
00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:25,160
What's your name?
100
00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:28,160
Right this way, Q.
101
00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:32,360
If any of you gentlemen is overheated,
I can offer you a parasol.
102
00:05:32,439 --> 00:05:34,959
I don't need a pair.
I'll just take one.
103
00:05:38,240 --> 00:05:40,000
'Cause them grades ain't get me paid
104
00:05:40,079 --> 00:05:43,800
My agenda for today
Is to make bread or get laid...
105
00:05:43,879 --> 00:05:46,480
Let me tell you something
about your music, man.
106
00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:49,120
Rap is today's voice
of the counter culture.
107
00:05:49,199 --> 00:05:51,079
You're the Black Gordon Lightfoot.
108
00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:54,639
"Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald".
Shit, one of my major influences.
109
00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:57,399
Yeah, I hear that.
110
00:05:57,480 --> 00:05:59,959
Is there any way I can get
some more of this fancy wine?
111
00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:03,720
Hell, yeah. It's a 1978
château Lafite Rothschild, baby.
112
00:06:11,279 --> 00:06:14,519
- What the hell are you doin'?
- It's Château Lafite.
113
00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:17,160
That's French.
It means, "for the feet".
114
00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:20,360
You motherfuckers crazy!
115
00:06:23,879 --> 00:06:25,439
All right, homies.
See you when I see ya.
116
00:06:25,519 --> 00:06:29,279
And you won't see us
when we don't see you.
117
00:06:29,360 --> 00:06:31,360
Got the car, guys.
118
00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:33,600
Wrong way.
119
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:49,360
That's the funniest shit I've seen
120
00:06:49,439 --> 00:06:52,439
since Queen Latifah split her pantsuit
open at the Source Awards.
121
00:06:52,920 --> 00:06:57,399
Look at that dumbass
covered in seaweed.
122
00:06:58,879 --> 00:07:02,519
For real though, that golf cart
costs ninety thousand dollars.
123
00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:04,519
- You gotta pay for that shit!
- Of course, sir.
124
00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:07,839
Yeah. Lemme see what I got here
in my billfold.
125
00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:13,120
Will you accept a Coffee Bean
and Tea Leaf card?
126
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:16,439
For sure!
Two-Ton loves his Ice Blended.
127
00:07:16,519 --> 00:07:19,480
Wonderful!
We're all so happy.
128
00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:23,040
I'll be happy tomorrow when I swing
by your crib and get my cheese.
129
00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:25,920
Maybe you ain't heard,
I don't sleep in a crib no more.
130
00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:29,040
You motherfuckers
are still a fucking child...
131
00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:31,519
- What a great guy.
- What a pussycat.
132
00:07:31,879 --> 00:07:34,879
Aye, Two-Ton. Send me
a calendar invite for tomorrow.
133
00:07:34,959 --> 00:07:37,759
And smoke them bitches
if they ain't got my bread.
134
00:07:44,079 --> 00:07:45,920
I know you're of Siamese heritage
135
00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:50,040
but you could play in the NBA
with what you're packing down there.
136
00:07:51,199 --> 00:07:53,800
You nasty! I like that.
137
00:07:54,639 --> 00:07:58,439
- Laying down some game, old chum?
- Get out of here, Chomsky!
138
00:07:58,519 --> 00:08:00,279
I'm makin' time
with my man, here.
139
00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:03,399
Kismet! I myself just came
from the dog park
140
00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:06,639
where I was snout deep
in the anal glands of an Apricot Poodle.
141
00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:08,720
Damn, Chomsky.
You an ass man!
142
00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:12,560
Oh, yes. Like my father
and his father before him.
143
00:08:12,639 --> 00:08:16,160
Oh, my God!
Okay, I'll be right there!
144
00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:17,560
Total emergency!
145
00:08:17,639 --> 00:08:22,319
The caterer just arrived,
and the napkins aren't locally sourced!
146
00:08:22,399 --> 00:08:25,399
I gotta go. Camille, could you bring
the cats by tonight?
147
00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:29,079
Sure. I'll just wait
two years, take driver's ed,
148
00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:31,360
buy a car,
and drive 'em right down.
149
00:08:31,439 --> 00:08:33,919
- A "no" would've sufficed.
- Yeah, I could do it.
150
00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:36,399
Hell, I used to wrangle cattle
back in Abilene
151
00:08:36,480 --> 00:08:39,440
and you can't spell cattle
without "cat," so...
152
00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:42,279
No problem, easy peasy Japan-esey.
153
00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:45,159
- Sorry, no offense.
- It's pretty offensive.
154
00:08:45,240 --> 00:08:48,720
- And I'm Chinese.
- Same neck of the woods.
155
00:08:48,799 --> 00:08:50,879
Oh, Franklin.
You're a lifesaver!
156
00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:53,759
Here's a spreadsheet
with their diet and bathroom schedule.
157
00:08:53,840 --> 00:08:55,559
Bring them no later than seven.
Thanks, bye!
158
00:08:55,639 --> 00:08:59,440
Don't you worry your pretty little head,
Gretch! They're in good hands!
159
00:09:03,879 --> 00:09:08,879
"The Russian Blue gets one can
of organic wet food once a day"
160
00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:12,799
"but for its second meal,
must have suh-shimy?"
161
00:09:12,879 --> 00:09:15,360
"Suh-shimy grade al-buhcorey?"
162
00:09:15,879 --> 00:09:18,799
Screw this. As long as none of 'em
starve to death
163
00:09:18,879 --> 00:09:21,039
or end up chokin'
on their own tails,
164
00:09:21,120 --> 00:09:24,399
I'll be spending the night
in Gretchen's boudoir.
165
00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:26,320
That's French for vagina.
166
00:09:26,759 --> 00:09:28,879
Bruh, I see girls everywhere
167
00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:31,360
Titty, ass, hands in the air,
it's a party over here
168
00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:32,919
Shake it for the man of the year
169
00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:35,399
Uh, man-man of the year,
man-man of the bounce
170
00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:37,440
- Catchy!
- Schoolboy Q?
171
00:09:37,519 --> 00:09:40,639
What are you doing here, baby?
Did you bring us some more weed?
172
00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:44,639
- I told you I was coming for my money.
- Well, now we thought you were jokin'.
173
00:09:45,679 --> 00:09:47,559
Does it look like I'm joking?
174
00:09:47,639 --> 00:09:50,519
Until you pay me,
I'm gonna take some collateral.
175
00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:53,240
Hey! Take whatever you want.
It's not our shit.
176
00:09:53,320 --> 00:09:54,440
Except the cats.
177
00:09:54,519 --> 00:09:57,360
Franklin cares a lot about the cats
because they'll get him laid.
178
00:09:57,440 --> 00:10:01,120
Take the cats, Q.
They care about the cats.
179
00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:05,240
No shit, fat boy. Grab the cats
and take 'em to the fuckin' yacht, man.
180
00:10:08,039 --> 00:10:11,799
Whoa, man! You can't take my Siamese.
I'm trying to smash!
181
00:10:11,879 --> 00:10:14,440
When I get my money,
you get your cats back.
182
00:10:14,519 --> 00:10:16,039
We out Two-Ton.
183
00:10:16,799 --> 00:10:20,000
Don't worry, baby!
I'm gonna spring you!
184
00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:22,759
Save that big daddy dick for me!
185
00:10:22,840 --> 00:10:24,919
I can't believe he took the cats.
186
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:28,600
Even after I told him
how important they were to you.
187
00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:32,799
I don't wanna sell our babies
any more than you do.
188
00:10:32,879 --> 00:10:36,480
But we did destroy
the man's gold plated golf cart.
189
00:10:36,559 --> 00:10:38,600
We didn't. Freddy did.
190
00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:41,399
He always does this shit.
He's a ruiner!
191
00:10:41,480 --> 00:10:45,240
Well, let's just get down there
to Chuck and Charlie and get our money.
192
00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:51,000
- Why the hell is this so light?
- They're empty! It's just the sleeves.
193
00:10:54,279 --> 00:10:56,559
Freddy!
What the hell are you doing?
194
00:10:56,639 --> 00:10:57,799
Cleaning the discs!
195
00:10:57,879 --> 00:11:00,120
Chuck and Charlie said
they're worth more clean.
196
00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:01,759
So I put them in the disc-washer.
197
00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:06,679
- Freddy, you colossal fucking idiot!
- Our records!
198
00:11:06,759 --> 00:11:08,799
Now, what are we supposed to do?
199
00:11:08,879 --> 00:11:12,799
We got no money, no records,
and he took the durn cats.
200
00:11:12,879 --> 00:11:15,440
Gretchen's countin' on me.
I care about her.
201
00:11:15,519 --> 00:11:19,519
I'm a broke-ass cowboy living
in a basement with you two clodhoppers
202
00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:24,240
and this gal is the only bright
spot in my sad, dark universe.
203
00:11:24,320 --> 00:11:27,559
- Help me the fuck out!
- Jesus, all right.
204
00:11:27,639 --> 00:11:30,840
Stop pinching my trapeziuses!
What do you wanna do?
205
00:11:30,919 --> 00:11:34,320
A Vietnam style raid
on Schoolboy Q's yacht.
206
00:11:34,399 --> 00:11:38,600
- Liberate the cats.
- Nam raid? Okay, I'm in.
207
00:11:38,679 --> 00:11:40,919
- Me too, me too!
- No way, Freddy.
208
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:45,240
You're the reason we're in this mess.
Everything you touch turns to shit.
209
00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:50,480
You stay here. Don't touch nothin',
don't say nothin', don't do nothin'.
210
00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:53,399
Well, that came out of nowhere.
211
00:11:58,200 --> 00:11:59,600
Because of your contributions,
212
00:11:59,679 --> 00:12:02,799
tonight, we reunite
these former violent offenders,
213
00:12:02,879 --> 00:12:07,559
or as I like to call 'em, victims,
with their beloved therapy cats.
214
00:12:09,360 --> 00:12:13,480
Don't eyeball me, bitch,
unless you ready to go.
215
00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:17,320
Impressive.
216
00:12:17,759 --> 00:12:18,799
Oh, fuck!
217
00:12:18,879 --> 00:12:20,480
Have you tried the sourdough
baguettes?
218
00:12:20,559 --> 00:12:22,600
Careful they're hot.
219
00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:31,080
We ask all of you to welcome them into
your homes and places of employment.
220
00:12:31,559 --> 00:12:33,159
You got a job for me?
221
00:12:33,240 --> 00:12:38,039
Oh, God. We just instituted
a hiring freeze,
222
00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:40,159
unfortunately, because, otherwise...
223
00:12:40,240 --> 00:12:43,080
Oh, my God. You would
have been, perfect for...
224
00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:47,000
- Noah, help me out here.
- Sure!
225
00:12:47,080 --> 00:12:51,639
You can stay with us on the couch!
I panicked. We'll move.
226
00:12:54,080 --> 00:12:57,120
Feels like
we're going round in circles.
227
00:12:57,200 --> 00:12:59,600
Come on, man!
We'll never get there in time.
228
00:12:59,679 --> 00:13:02,720
I'm doing all the work.
Pedal faster!
229
00:13:02,799 --> 00:13:05,480
Pedals? I thought it was a footrest.
230
00:13:05,559 --> 00:13:09,120
Though in my defense,
I am stoned out of my mind.
231
00:13:16,919 --> 00:13:19,480
I think I'm allergic to cats, Q!
232
00:13:19,559 --> 00:13:22,360
I'm having a severe reaction
to their dander.
233
00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:25,279
Take a damn Claritin
and roll me up another one, man.
234
00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:26,480
What the fuck?
235
00:13:26,799 --> 00:13:29,440
Fog's rollin' in!
Can't see a thing.
236
00:13:29,519 --> 00:13:34,080
Me either, Franklin! But be quiet.
We still have the element of surprise.
237
00:13:34,159 --> 00:13:36,200
Hello, Freaks!
238
00:13:38,759 --> 00:13:42,679
- You came to steal the cats back?
- What? Cats?
239
00:13:42,759 --> 00:13:47,559
- No! We came here to pay you.
- Good. So where my money?
240
00:13:48,919 --> 00:13:51,960
- Franklin?
- Ain't got it.
241
00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:54,480
You forgot the money?
242
00:13:54,559 --> 00:13:57,000
Oh, my God! That's funny.
243
00:13:57,080 --> 00:14:01,320
Come all the way out here in a wet suit
and a swan boatand he forgets the mo...
244
00:14:01,399 --> 00:14:04,159
Look! A fat giant booty!
245
00:14:04,799 --> 00:14:09,200
- Come on. Aren't you a little curious?
- No. And now, I'm pissed off.
246
00:14:09,279 --> 00:14:12,279
Please, Mr. Q. Have mercy.
247
00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:14,879
Let it never be said that
I'm an unmerciful motherfucker.
248
00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:17,399
The condemned always get
a last smoke.
249
00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:19,120
Roll up.
250
00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:21,399
Come on, man!
251
00:14:21,480 --> 00:14:24,960
We can't just do nothing.
We have to take action.
252
00:14:25,039 --> 00:14:28,279
A Siamese of that caliber
doesn't wait around for nobody.
253
00:14:28,360 --> 00:14:30,600
No, Kitty.
They told me to stay here.
254
00:14:30,679 --> 00:14:33,799
And that's what I'm gonna do,
because I'm no good at anything.
255
00:14:33,879 --> 00:14:37,159
- You're good at lots of things!
- Like what? Name some.
256
00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:40,720
What is this, an award ceremony?
We got shit to do!
257
00:14:40,799 --> 00:14:42,600
I don't wanna make them
madder at me.
258
00:14:42,679 --> 00:14:45,879
Freddy, they won't be mad at you
if you save the day.
259
00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:49,360
You'll be a hero
and they'll respect your fat ass.
260
00:14:49,440 --> 00:14:51,639
- You really think so?
- I know so!
261
00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:54,960
Let's do it!
Let's go get that respect!
262
00:14:56,399 --> 00:14:59,919
Oh, yeah. While you were mopin',
I shit in your shoes.
263
00:15:07,559 --> 00:15:10,240
Damn.
This roll is a work of art.
264
00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:12,080
Shit like a Michelangelo
or somethin', bruh.
265
00:15:12,159 --> 00:15:16,039
I think it's more like a Brancusi.
Smooth and minimalist.
266
00:15:16,919 --> 00:15:20,159
We were always known for rolling
the world's tightest joints.
267
00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:21,960
Not a bad legacy to leave behind.
268
00:15:22,039 --> 00:15:25,240
Well, go ahead.
Send us to our doom.
269
00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:26,559
Not so fast.
270
00:15:26,639 --> 00:15:30,000
I got another idea, Two-Ton.
Bring them to the rolling room.
271
00:15:30,519 --> 00:15:33,120
Fool, y'all know I'm a mogul
and I do mogul shit.
272
00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:35,840
So, I'm expanding
into the cannabis industry.
273
00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:41,759
But my CRO
aka Chief Rolling Officer
274
00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:43,600
keeps falling asleep
on his fucking feet.
275
00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:48,120
Antihistamines make me drowsy.
276
00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:50,960
So here's the deal.
If you can roll all this weed
277
00:15:51,039 --> 00:15:54,759
as pretty as that last one
before dawn, we'll call it even.
278
00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:59,039
But Q. Ten men couldn't roll
that many joints by sun up.
279
00:15:59,120 --> 00:16:00,840
Fool, that sounds
like a "they problem".
280
00:16:00,919 --> 00:16:03,159
Hey! That's a good name
for a hippity rap.
281
00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:06,320
Listen, we could write it for you
and provide background vocals.
282
00:16:06,399 --> 00:16:09,759
Yeah. Okay, follow my lead, Phin...
283
00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:10,960
- Problems!
- Yeah !
284
00:16:11,039 --> 00:16:12,720
- We got problems.
- That sounds like a thing.
285
00:16:12,799 --> 00:16:15,279
- Fucky fuck. Problems!
- We have best joints.
286
00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:17,120
And the biggest dicks.
287
00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:19,919
Hey, man! Shut the fuck up.
Start rollin'.
288
00:16:27,559 --> 00:16:31,279
So, how did you get the name
Billy the Rapist?
289
00:16:31,960 --> 00:16:34,320
Yeah, I get it. I had nicknames.
290
00:16:34,399 --> 00:16:36,320
They used to sing a rap
about me in junior high.
291
00:16:36,399 --> 00:16:37,720
God, how did that go?
292
00:16:37,799 --> 00:16:42,639
Noah, Noah, ba... boah,
banana, fanna, homoah. Noah!
293
00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:45,240
He was also known
as "Karate Noah,"
294
00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:48,600
because of his abilities
to defend himself and loved ones.
295
00:16:48,679 --> 00:16:50,080
How are we all doing?
296
00:16:50,159 --> 00:16:53,879
Where the fuck
are our fuckin' cats, bitch?
297
00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:57,159
Thank you for asking.
They're on their way soon.
298
00:16:57,240 --> 00:17:00,399
Enjoy the salad,
Billy the Rap... William.
299
00:17:01,679 --> 00:17:03,960
Franklin?
Where the hell are you?
300
00:17:04,039 --> 00:17:06,839
I need those cats!
These felons are getting rapey!
301
00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:10,640
No. Everything's fine, very fine.
We'll be there soon.
302
00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:13,519
Good!
What's that licking sound?
303
00:17:13,599 --> 00:17:17,559
Not me. I'm grooming the cats.
304
00:17:17,640 --> 00:17:19,839
- With your tongue?
- Yes.
305
00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:22,880
- Okay, I'll let you go now, bye!
- Wait!
306
00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:26,119
And so the brothers McFreak,
Franklin and Phineas,
307
00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:30,799
rolled doobies as fast as they could,
like a pair of Rumpelstiltskins
308
00:17:30,880 --> 00:17:32,839
for their very lives
depended on it.
309
00:17:32,920 --> 00:17:37,519
Would they be able to finish their task
before the dewy dawn rose from the...
310
00:17:37,599 --> 00:17:38,680
Done!
311
00:17:39,319 --> 00:17:42,839
- Sorry, what's that now?
- I said, we're done.
312
00:17:44,119 --> 00:17:48,200
Sweet Mary and Joseph, that's a wee
bit faster than I anticipated.
313
00:17:48,279 --> 00:17:50,039
Would you like to sit
by the fire,
314
00:17:50,119 --> 00:17:51,960
share a dram,
and hear the rest of my...
315
00:17:52,039 --> 00:17:54,839
Just tell him we're fucking done,
you dumb Irish midget!
316
00:17:54,920 --> 00:17:56,240
The fuck you just call me?
317
00:17:56,319 --> 00:17:58,480
Peter Dinklage!
What are you doing here?
318
00:17:58,559 --> 00:18:00,759
HBO fucked me out
of the Thrones spin-off.
319
00:18:00,839 --> 00:18:03,799
They said a puppet is cheaper
and won't bang all the extras.
320
00:18:04,160 --> 00:18:05,480
Aye, Yo!
They done!
321
00:18:10,160 --> 00:18:13,720
It's a lot farther than I thought.
Gotta book it.
322
00:18:13,799 --> 00:18:15,200
No, don't book it!
323
00:18:15,279 --> 00:18:19,039
- We gotta be super quiet, like a...
- Revving speed!
324
00:18:22,319 --> 00:18:25,039
Bruh, I dunno know
how the fuck you did it, but you did.
325
00:18:25,119 --> 00:18:27,920
You're free to go.
Peace and love, bring it in.
326
00:18:35,559 --> 00:18:37,920
Baby, I'm here! Where are you?
327
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:41,680
Anyone seen a sweet Siamese
with a big old dick?
328
00:18:41,759 --> 00:18:45,720
- There you are!
- It's okay, baby. I'm here.
329
00:18:45,799 --> 00:18:48,279
Somebody get me the fucking key!
330
00:18:48,359 --> 00:18:49,599
Freddy, what the fuck?
331
00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:52,880
Look, I know I'm a hero.
You know I'm hero.
332
00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:56,079
Nobody has to say
the word "hero" out loud or thank me.
333
00:18:56,160 --> 00:19:00,000
You idiot!
We had everything taken care of.
334
00:19:00,079 --> 00:19:05,880
We told you to stay home.
You are a ruiner!
335
00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:10,000
The Lucky Mothafucker's
taking on water!
336
00:19:10,079 --> 00:19:11,799
You Freaks are dead.
337
00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:14,799
Oh, shit!
338
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,519
Get off the...
339
00:19:28,880 --> 00:19:31,759
- You see anything?
- No, I can't see them.
340
00:19:31,839 --> 00:19:34,960
Me neither.
Wait, what do you mean "them"?
341
00:19:35,039 --> 00:19:37,160
The cats.
Who are you talkin' about?
342
00:19:37,240 --> 00:19:39,920
- Freddy.
- Freddy. Right.
343
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:43,440
No, I was including him in them.
344
00:19:44,359 --> 00:19:48,160
Man. I hope he's okay.
There's a chance right?
345
00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:51,640
Sure. Yeah, I mean
he was wearing his floaties.
346
00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:55,359
Yeah! And the North Pacific current,
turns south.
347
00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:58,880
He'll probably wash up in Tijuana
and have the time of his life.
348
00:19:58,960 --> 00:20:02,839
- Well, perfecto! So, about those cats?
- They're dead.
349
00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:06,400
They didn't have floaties and well,
you know, they're cats.
350
00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:11,079
Time to face the music.
I gotta go tell Gretchen I let her down.
351
00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:13,359
We want cats!
352
00:20:14,119 --> 00:20:15,640
- Fuck this!
- Good.
353
00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:17,960
- This is good!
- We want cats!
354
00:20:18,039 --> 00:20:21,319
You're expressing your wants,
not keeping them bottled up.
355
00:20:22,839 --> 00:20:25,240
They want Cats?
I'll give 'em Cats.
356
00:20:25,319 --> 00:20:28,480
I want cats so bad I'll kill...
357
00:20:32,519 --> 00:20:34,319
God. Oh, jeez.
358
00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:38,440
Not a musical theatre crowd.
359
00:20:39,079 --> 00:20:43,200
Holy shit. Look at this disaster.
Good luck getting laid now, pal.
360
00:20:43,279 --> 00:20:46,359
Franklin. Yes! You're here!
Where are the cats?
361
00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:49,319
Cats. Well, okay, I was taking
great care of them.
362
00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:52,839
But then things got a little prickly.
You know how cats are.
363
00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:56,640
But then I went to great lengths
and un-prickled them.
364
00:20:56,720 --> 00:21:01,119
But then things kinda went tits up,
you know how cats are...
365
00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:05,160
- Franklin! Where are the fucking cats?
- Well...
366
00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:09,119
See, that's what I gotta tell you.
The cats are...
367
00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:13,079
...are here?
368
00:21:13,839 --> 00:21:15,319
Ho, ho, ho!
369
00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:19,359
On Nibbles, on Peaches,
on Pickles, on Frisky!
370
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:23,599
Little Rapey! I missed you.
371
00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:27,079
He did it!
The son of a bitch did it.
372
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:29,079
Those are some strong cats.
373
00:21:33,039 --> 00:21:37,880
Gentlemen! To a crazy night,
and to those we lost along the way.
374
00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:41,799
Specifically, Schoolboy Q.
And who could forget Two-Ton?
375
00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:43,799
He played delightfully against type,
376
00:21:43,880 --> 00:21:46,839
and perished two to three weeks
before he would have dropped dead
377
00:21:46,920 --> 00:21:48,440
from respiratory failure.
378
00:21:48,519 --> 00:21:50,079
- Here, here!
- There, there.
379
00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:53,759
Freddy, I don't know how
you pulled it off, but you did.
380
00:21:54,079 --> 00:21:57,000
And look, I might've said
some things earlier today
381
00:21:57,079 --> 00:21:59,680
in the heat of the moment
about your worthlessness
382
00:21:59,759 --> 00:22:01,480
and nonstop fuck-uppery.
383
00:22:02,039 --> 00:22:05,079
But I guess what I wanna say is.
I'm sorry.
384
00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:08,000
- For what?
- About that stuff I just said.
385
00:22:08,079 --> 00:22:10,240
- About what?
- Never mind, buddy.
386
00:22:10,319 --> 00:22:12,240
We're just glad to have you back.
387
00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:18,279
Hey, cowboy.
Give a gal a lift home?
388
00:22:20,039 --> 00:22:21,160
Ma'am?
389
00:22:25,519 --> 00:22:26,759
Go easy on the Dewars.
390
00:22:26,839 --> 00:22:29,599
I didn't save your ass so you could
go all whiskey dick on me.
391
00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:32,400
I'll tie some rubber bands
around that thing. Don't play with me.
392
00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:40,960
I'm gonna kill those
motherfuckin' Freaks!