1 00:00:11,599 --> 00:00:15,560 I can't believe old Melvin Mah's record store is still in business. 2 00:00:18,320 --> 00:00:23,920 Melvin! Get your oriental ass out here and say hello to your old friends. 3 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:25,559 Freaks in the house! 4 00:00:25,640 --> 00:00:28,239 Chuck and Charlie? You work here now? 5 00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:30,239 What happened with the weed store? 6 00:00:30,719 --> 00:00:34,719 Yeah, my Uncle Melvin fell into a coma from all the drugs he did... 7 00:00:34,799 --> 00:00:37,679 So who better to manage a record store than two guys 8 00:00:37,759 --> 00:00:39,240 who just got fired from a weed store? 9 00:00:39,320 --> 00:00:43,039 - Coma? Is he in the hospital? - No, he's right over there. 10 00:00:44,960 --> 00:00:46,880 Come on, Uncle Melvin. 11 00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:50,079 I just reorganized the stock room yesterday. 12 00:00:50,159 --> 00:00:51,759 He's always riding our asses. 13 00:00:51,840 --> 00:00:54,000 Screw you, old man! 14 00:00:54,600 --> 00:00:59,119 - He's lucky to have you boys. - We got some grade-A vinyl for sale. 15 00:00:59,439 --> 00:01:01,560 Holy shit! 16 00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:04,599 The White Album? If this one's clean, it's worth a fortune. 17 00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:07,000 Sorry that one's not for sale. 18 00:01:07,079 --> 00:01:10,319 I got it when my parents kicked me outta the house for turning 32. 19 00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:15,359 The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan. This is worth some scrilla. 20 00:01:15,439 --> 00:01:18,840 Whoa, can't sell that. That's my love-makin' track. 21 00:01:18,920 --> 00:01:21,599 That's the disc was playin' when I had my first threesome. 22 00:01:21,680 --> 00:01:22,680 That's funny. 23 00:01:22,760 --> 00:01:26,200 My mom told me that it was playing when she had her first threesome! 24 00:01:26,280 --> 00:01:27,280 Wait... 25 00:01:27,359 --> 00:01:31,439 - I'm not selling my album either! - Freddy, that's a photo album. 26 00:01:31,519 --> 00:01:33,040 And I still like listening to it! 27 00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:36,519 Oh, my gosh man. You dudes have got some great discs here. 28 00:01:36,599 --> 00:01:40,040 Do you want to get high and listen to so me tunes? 29 00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:43,959 We could possibly be convinced. 30 00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:46,480 Brother... 31 00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:50,040 Three brothers puffin 32 00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:53,400 And we just woke up in the year 2020 33 00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:56,159 Roll another j and forget the day 34 00:01:56,239 --> 00:01:58,959 Roll another j and get high 35 00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:01,599 Roll another j and forget the day 36 00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:03,439 Me and my brothers getting fried 37 00:02:03,519 --> 00:02:05,719 We're the Freak Brothers 38 00:02:13,560 --> 00:02:16,439 So are you guys excited about my big event tonight? 39 00:02:16,520 --> 00:02:18,319 - What event? - Seriously, Mom? 40 00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:22,719 - She told you about it a million times. - Could you tell me a million and one? 41 00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:25,919 The gala for my charity, "Felines for Felons". 42 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:29,919 It's so awesome! They pair therapy cats with felons in prison. 43 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:32,599 And we're throwing a gala tonight for the felons who've been released. 44 00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:33,919 Okay, we'll come. 45 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:36,599 I just wish you had given us a little heads up. 46 00:02:36,680 --> 00:02:39,400 She's been talking about it nonstop for weeks. 47 00:02:39,479 --> 00:02:42,120 What did you think all of these were for? 48 00:02:42,560 --> 00:02:44,080 I thought after years of being single, 49 00:02:44,159 --> 00:02:46,080 you decided to become a crazy cat lady. 50 00:02:46,159 --> 00:02:47,759 Hey, baby! 51 00:02:48,280 --> 00:02:51,759 So, you're Siamese. You got yourself a twin. 52 00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:54,680 I'm gonna get spit roasted tonight! 53 00:03:04,159 --> 00:03:07,879 This stuff's amazing! Where'd you get it? 54 00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:11,039 You're not gonna believe it. We got it from Schoolboy Q. 55 00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:13,240 Oh, my gosh! He was so cool. 56 00:03:13,319 --> 00:03:15,960 Like, he's in town shooting a remake of Dirty Harry, 57 00:03:16,039 --> 00:03:19,199 and we like smoked him up and he signed this for us. 58 00:03:20,120 --> 00:03:22,039 Bruh, I see girls everywhere 59 00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:25,360 Titty, ass, hands in the air, it's a party over here 60 00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:28,159 This is great. What is this? 61 00:03:28,240 --> 00:03:30,800 You guys have never heard rap before? 62 00:03:30,879 --> 00:03:34,919 Dude, come on. Don't be insensitive. They were asleep for fifty years. 63 00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:39,479 This sumbitch got a beat! Pop pooty pop pop. 64 00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:41,360 I like that he says curse words! 65 00:03:41,439 --> 00:03:44,120 Tank top top down for the breeze Burnt lips, got a blunt full of weed 66 00:03:44,199 --> 00:03:46,960 This weed pairs wonderfully with this music. 67 00:03:47,319 --> 00:03:51,319 We gotta get some more. Where can we find this Schoolboy Q? 68 00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:53,439 He said he was shooting down at the wharf. 69 00:03:53,520 --> 00:03:57,680 Gentlemen! To the wharf! See you on the flipside, Melvin! 70 00:03:57,759 --> 00:03:59,360 Peace out, dudes! 71 00:04:01,879 --> 00:04:03,560 Bounce for the crown Fast forward getting real 72 00:04:03,639 --> 00:04:05,639 Tell me now Every dog need a cat to meow... 73 00:04:05,719 --> 00:04:09,080 - Damn. He's got some skills. - Honestly? Decent flow. 74 00:04:09,159 --> 00:04:12,159 Blazing a pound, jumping around Tits, ass bump out her gown... 75 00:04:15,120 --> 00:04:17,759 You gotta ask yourself one question. 76 00:04:17,839 --> 00:04:20,079 "Am I a lucky mother fucker?" 77 00:04:20,480 --> 00:04:23,839 Well, are you a lucky mother fucker? Mother fucker! 78 00:04:23,920 --> 00:04:25,839 Just like the lyrics to his song! 79 00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:29,879 Cut! Who the fuck are they? Who's in charge of the fucking extras? 80 00:04:29,959 --> 00:04:33,600 Who are these fucking assholes wandering through my fucking shot? 81 00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:35,000 Fucking fire them! 82 00:04:35,079 --> 00:04:37,319 Nah, man! I like the way they look. 83 00:04:37,399 --> 00:04:39,519 Using real homeless adds authenticity. 84 00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:42,040 Hey, Mr. Q. Nice to meet you. 85 00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:44,879 We just smoked some of your shit with old Melvin Mah. 86 00:04:44,959 --> 00:04:46,480 That catatonic mother fucker? 87 00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:49,240 That dude's crazy! Smoked me under the table. 88 00:04:49,319 --> 00:04:53,319 So, Chuck and Charlie played us some of your rippity-rap music, 89 00:04:53,399 --> 00:04:55,079 which we really, truly enjoyed. 90 00:04:55,160 --> 00:04:58,519 But not as much as your mind-blowing weed. 91 00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:01,199 - We want some more. - You want some of the good shit? 92 00:05:01,279 --> 00:05:03,439 I can appreciate a man who appreciates good weed. 93 00:05:03,519 --> 00:05:06,680 Hey, we on five, Solomon! Two-Ton! Where's my whip? 94 00:05:07,319 --> 00:05:09,720 Check this shit out. That's a custom made, 95 00:05:09,800 --> 00:05:11,920 Bentley golf cart, solid gold, punk! 96 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:14,120 Well, can't be completely solid gold. 97 00:05:14,199 --> 00:05:18,399 Gotta have some moving parts, liquid coolants and... 98 00:05:19,439 --> 00:05:23,920 But you know, what do I know? Last I heard, women had pubic hair. 99 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:25,160 What's your name? 100 00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:28,160 Right this way, Q. 101 00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:32,360 If any of you gentlemen is overheated, I can offer you a parasol. 102 00:05:32,439 --> 00:05:34,959 I don't need a pair. I'll just take one. 103 00:05:38,240 --> 00:05:40,000 'Cause them grades ain't get me paid 104 00:05:40,079 --> 00:05:43,800 My agenda for today Is to make bread or get laid... 105 00:05:43,879 --> 00:05:46,480 Let me tell you something about your music, man. 106 00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:49,120 Rap is today's voice of the counter culture. 107 00:05:49,199 --> 00:05:51,079 You're the Black Gordon Lightfoot. 108 00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:54,639 "Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald". Shit, one of my major influences. 109 00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:57,399 Yeah, I hear that. 110 00:05:57,480 --> 00:05:59,959 Is there any way I can get some more of this fancy wine? 111 00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:03,720 Hell, yeah. It's a 1978 château Lafite Rothschild, baby. 112 00:06:11,279 --> 00:06:14,519 - What the hell are you doin'? - It's Château Lafite. 113 00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:17,160 That's French. It means, "for the feet". 114 00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:20,360 You motherfuckers crazy! 115 00:06:23,879 --> 00:06:25,439 All right, homies. See you when I see ya. 116 00:06:25,519 --> 00:06:29,279 And you won't see us when we don't see you. 117 00:06:29,360 --> 00:06:31,360 Got the car, guys. 118 00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:33,600 Wrong way. 119 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:49,360 That's the funniest shit I've seen 120 00:06:49,439 --> 00:06:52,439 since Queen Latifah split her pantsuit open at the Source Awards. 121 00:06:52,920 --> 00:06:57,399 Look at that dumbass covered in seaweed. 122 00:06:58,879 --> 00:07:02,519 For real though, that golf cart costs ninety thousand dollars. 123 00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:04,519 - You gotta pay for that shit! - Of course, sir. 124 00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:07,839 Yeah. Lemme see what I got here in my billfold. 125 00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:13,120 Will you accept a Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf card? 126 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:16,439 For sure! Two-Ton loves his Ice Blended. 127 00:07:16,519 --> 00:07:19,480 Wonderful! We're all so happy. 128 00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:23,040 I'll be happy tomorrow when I swing by your crib and get my cheese. 129 00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:25,920 Maybe you ain't heard, I don't sleep in a crib no more. 130 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:29,040 You motherfuckers are still a fucking child... 131 00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:31,519 - What a great guy. - What a pussycat. 132 00:07:31,879 --> 00:07:34,879 Aye, Two-Ton. Send me a calendar invite for tomorrow. 133 00:07:34,959 --> 00:07:37,759 And smoke them bitches if they ain't got my bread. 134 00:07:44,079 --> 00:07:45,920 I know you're of Siamese heritage 135 00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:50,040 but you could play in the NBA with what you're packing down there. 136 00:07:51,199 --> 00:07:53,800 You nasty! I like that. 137 00:07:54,639 --> 00:07:58,439 - Laying down some game, old chum? - Get out of here, Chomsky! 138 00:07:58,519 --> 00:08:00,279 I'm makin' time with my man, here. 139 00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:03,399 Kismet! I myself just came from the dog park 140 00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:06,639 where I was snout deep in the anal glands of an Apricot Poodle. 141 00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:08,720 Damn, Chomsky. You an ass man! 142 00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:12,560 Oh, yes. Like my father and his father before him. 143 00:08:12,639 --> 00:08:16,160 Oh, my God! Okay, I'll be right there! 144 00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:17,560 Total emergency! 145 00:08:17,639 --> 00:08:22,319 The caterer just arrived, and the napkins aren't locally sourced! 146 00:08:22,399 --> 00:08:25,399 I gotta go. Camille, could you bring the cats by tonight? 147 00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:29,079 Sure. I'll just wait two years, take driver's ed, 148 00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:31,360 buy a car, and drive 'em right down. 149 00:08:31,439 --> 00:08:33,919 - A "no" would've sufficed. - Yeah, I could do it. 150 00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:36,399 Hell, I used to wrangle cattle back in Abilene 151 00:08:36,480 --> 00:08:39,440 and you can't spell cattle without "cat," so... 152 00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:42,279 No problem, easy peasy Japan-esey. 153 00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:45,159 - Sorry, no offense. - It's pretty offensive. 154 00:08:45,240 --> 00:08:48,720 - And I'm Chinese. - Same neck of the woods. 155 00:08:48,799 --> 00:08:50,879 Oh, Franklin. You're a lifesaver! 156 00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:53,759 Here's a spreadsheet with their diet and bathroom schedule. 157 00:08:53,840 --> 00:08:55,559 Bring them no later than seven. Thanks, bye! 158 00:08:55,639 --> 00:08:59,440 Don't you worry your pretty little head, Gretch! They're in good hands! 159 00:09:03,879 --> 00:09:08,879 "The Russian Blue gets one can of organic wet food once a day" 160 00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:12,799 "but for its second meal, must have suh-shimy?" 161 00:09:12,879 --> 00:09:15,360 "Suh-shimy grade al-buhcorey?" 162 00:09:15,879 --> 00:09:18,799 Screw this. As long as none of 'em starve to death 163 00:09:18,879 --> 00:09:21,039 or end up chokin' on their own tails, 164 00:09:21,120 --> 00:09:24,399 I'll be spending the night in Gretchen's boudoir. 165 00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:26,320 That's French for vagina. 166 00:09:26,759 --> 00:09:28,879 Bruh, I see girls everywhere 167 00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:31,360 Titty, ass, hands in the air, it's a party over here 168 00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:32,919 Shake it for the man of the year 169 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:35,399 Uh, man-man of the year, man-man of the bounce 170 00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:37,440 - Catchy! - Schoolboy Q? 171 00:09:37,519 --> 00:09:40,639 What are you doing here, baby? Did you bring us some more weed? 172 00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:44,639 - I told you I was coming for my money. - Well, now we thought you were jokin'. 173 00:09:45,679 --> 00:09:47,559 Does it look like I'm joking? 174 00:09:47,639 --> 00:09:50,519 Until you pay me, I'm gonna take some collateral. 175 00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:53,240 Hey! Take whatever you want. It's not our shit. 176 00:09:53,320 --> 00:09:54,440 Except the cats. 177 00:09:54,519 --> 00:09:57,360 Franklin cares a lot about the cats because they'll get him laid. 178 00:09:57,440 --> 00:10:01,120 Take the cats, Q. They care about the cats. 179 00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:05,240 No shit, fat boy. Grab the cats and take 'em to the fuckin' yacht, man. 180 00:10:08,039 --> 00:10:11,799 Whoa, man! You can't take my Siamese. I'm trying to smash! 181 00:10:11,879 --> 00:10:14,440 When I get my money, you get your cats back. 182 00:10:14,519 --> 00:10:16,039 We out Two-Ton. 183 00:10:16,799 --> 00:10:20,000 Don't worry, baby! I'm gonna spring you! 184 00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:22,759 Save that big daddy dick for me! 185 00:10:22,840 --> 00:10:24,919 I can't believe he took the cats. 186 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:28,600 Even after I told him how important they were to you. 187 00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:32,799 I don't wanna sell our babies any more than you do. 188 00:10:32,879 --> 00:10:36,480 But we did destroy the man's gold plated golf cart. 189 00:10:36,559 --> 00:10:38,600 We didn't. Freddy did. 190 00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:41,399 He always does this shit. He's a ruiner! 191 00:10:41,480 --> 00:10:45,240 Well, let's just get down there to Chuck and Charlie and get our money. 192 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:51,000 - Why the hell is this so light? - They're empty! It's just the sleeves. 193 00:10:54,279 --> 00:10:56,559 Freddy! What the hell are you doing? 194 00:10:56,639 --> 00:10:57,799 Cleaning the discs! 195 00:10:57,879 --> 00:11:00,120 Chuck and Charlie said they're worth more clean. 196 00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:01,759 So I put them in the disc-washer. 197 00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:06,679 - Freddy, you colossal fucking idiot! - Our records! 198 00:11:06,759 --> 00:11:08,799 Now, what are we supposed to do? 199 00:11:08,879 --> 00:11:12,799 We got no money, no records, and he took the durn cats. 200 00:11:12,879 --> 00:11:15,440 Gretchen's countin' on me. I care about her. 201 00:11:15,519 --> 00:11:19,519 I'm a broke-ass cowboy living in a basement with you two clodhoppers 202 00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:24,240 and this gal is the only bright spot in my sad, dark universe. 203 00:11:24,320 --> 00:11:27,559 - Help me the fuck out! - Jesus, all right. 204 00:11:27,639 --> 00:11:30,840 Stop pinching my trapeziuses! What do you wanna do? 205 00:11:30,919 --> 00:11:34,320 A Vietnam style raid on Schoolboy Q's yacht. 206 00:11:34,399 --> 00:11:38,600 - Liberate the cats. - Nam raid? Okay, I'm in. 207 00:11:38,679 --> 00:11:40,919 - Me too, me too! - No way, Freddy. 208 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:45,240 You're the reason we're in this mess. Everything you touch turns to shit. 209 00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:50,480 You stay here. Don't touch nothin', don't say nothin', don't do nothin'. 210 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:53,399 Well, that came out of nowhere. 211 00:11:58,200 --> 00:11:59,600 Because of your contributions, 212 00:11:59,679 --> 00:12:02,799 tonight, we reunite these former violent offenders, 213 00:12:02,879 --> 00:12:07,559 or as I like to call 'em, victims, with their beloved therapy cats. 214 00:12:09,360 --> 00:12:13,480 Don't eyeball me, bitch, unless you ready to go. 215 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:17,320 Impressive. 216 00:12:17,759 --> 00:12:18,799 Oh, fuck! 217 00:12:18,879 --> 00:12:20,480 Have you tried the sourdough baguettes? 218 00:12:20,559 --> 00:12:22,600 Careful they're hot. 219 00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:31,080 We ask all of you to welcome them into your homes and places of employment. 220 00:12:31,559 --> 00:12:33,159 You got a job for me? 221 00:12:33,240 --> 00:12:38,039 Oh, God. We just instituted a hiring freeze, 222 00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:40,159 unfortunately, because, otherwise... 223 00:12:40,240 --> 00:12:43,080 Oh, my God. You would have been, perfect for... 224 00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:47,000 - Noah, help me out here. - Sure! 225 00:12:47,080 --> 00:12:51,639 You can stay with us on the couch! I panicked. We'll move. 226 00:12:54,080 --> 00:12:57,120 Feels like we're going round in circles. 227 00:12:57,200 --> 00:12:59,600 Come on, man! We'll never get there in time. 228 00:12:59,679 --> 00:13:02,720 I'm doing all the work. Pedal faster! 229 00:13:02,799 --> 00:13:05,480 Pedals? I thought it was a footrest. 230 00:13:05,559 --> 00:13:09,120 Though in my defense, I am stoned out of my mind. 231 00:13:16,919 --> 00:13:19,480 I think I'm allergic to cats, Q! 232 00:13:19,559 --> 00:13:22,360 I'm having a severe reaction to their dander. 233 00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:25,279 Take a damn Claritin and roll me up another one, man. 234 00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:26,480 What the fuck? 235 00:13:26,799 --> 00:13:29,440 Fog's rollin' in! Can't see a thing. 236 00:13:29,519 --> 00:13:34,080 Me either, Franklin! But be quiet. We still have the element of surprise. 237 00:13:34,159 --> 00:13:36,200 Hello, Freaks! 238 00:13:38,759 --> 00:13:42,679 - You came to steal the cats back? - What? Cats? 239 00:13:42,759 --> 00:13:47,559 - No! We came here to pay you. - Good. So where my money? 240 00:13:48,919 --> 00:13:51,960 - Franklin? - Ain't got it. 241 00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:54,480 You forgot the money? 242 00:13:54,559 --> 00:13:57,000 Oh, my God! That's funny. 243 00:13:57,080 --> 00:14:01,320 Come all the way out here in a wet suit and a swan boatand he forgets the mo... 244 00:14:01,399 --> 00:14:04,159 Look! A fat giant booty! 245 00:14:04,799 --> 00:14:09,200 - Come on. Aren't you a little curious? - No. And now, I'm pissed off. 246 00:14:09,279 --> 00:14:12,279 Please, Mr. Q. Have mercy. 247 00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:14,879 Let it never be said that I'm an unmerciful motherfucker. 248 00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:17,399 The condemned always get a last smoke. 249 00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:19,120 Roll up. 250 00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:21,399 Come on, man! 251 00:14:21,480 --> 00:14:24,960 We can't just do nothing. We have to take action. 252 00:14:25,039 --> 00:14:28,279 A Siamese of that caliber doesn't wait around for nobody. 253 00:14:28,360 --> 00:14:30,600 No, Kitty. They told me to stay here. 254 00:14:30,679 --> 00:14:33,799 And that's what I'm gonna do, because I'm no good at anything. 255 00:14:33,879 --> 00:14:37,159 - You're good at lots of things! - Like what? Name some. 256 00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:40,720 What is this, an award ceremony? We got shit to do! 257 00:14:40,799 --> 00:14:42,600 I don't wanna make them madder at me. 258 00:14:42,679 --> 00:14:45,879 Freddy, they won't be mad at you if you save the day. 259 00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:49,360 You'll be a hero and they'll respect your fat ass. 260 00:14:49,440 --> 00:14:51,639 - You really think so? - I know so! 261 00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:54,960 Let's do it! Let's go get that respect! 262 00:14:56,399 --> 00:14:59,919 Oh, yeah. While you were mopin', I shit in your shoes. 263 00:15:07,559 --> 00:15:10,240 Damn. This roll is a work of art. 264 00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:12,080 Shit like a Michelangelo or somethin', bruh. 265 00:15:12,159 --> 00:15:16,039 I think it's more like a Brancusi. Smooth and minimalist. 266 00:15:16,919 --> 00:15:20,159 We were always known for rolling the world's tightest joints. 267 00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:21,960 Not a bad legacy to leave behind. 268 00:15:22,039 --> 00:15:25,240 Well, go ahead. Send us to our doom. 269 00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:26,559 Not so fast. 270 00:15:26,639 --> 00:15:30,000 I got another idea, Two-Ton. Bring them to the rolling room. 271 00:15:30,519 --> 00:15:33,120 Fool, y'all know I'm a mogul and I do mogul shit. 272 00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:35,840 So, I'm expanding into the cannabis industry. 273 00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:41,759 But my CRO aka Chief Rolling Officer 274 00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:43,600 keeps falling asleep on his fucking feet. 275 00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:48,120 Antihistamines make me drowsy. 276 00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:50,960 So here's the deal. If you can roll all this weed 277 00:15:51,039 --> 00:15:54,759 as pretty as that last one before dawn, we'll call it even. 278 00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:59,039 But Q. Ten men couldn't roll that many joints by sun up. 279 00:15:59,120 --> 00:16:00,840 Fool, that sounds like a "they problem". 280 00:16:00,919 --> 00:16:03,159 Hey! That's a good name for a hippity rap. 281 00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:06,320 Listen, we could write it for you and provide background vocals. 282 00:16:06,399 --> 00:16:09,759 Yeah. Okay, follow my lead, Phin... 283 00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:10,960 - Problems! - Yeah ! 284 00:16:11,039 --> 00:16:12,720 - We got problems. - That sounds like a thing. 285 00:16:12,799 --> 00:16:15,279 - Fucky fuck. Problems! - We have best joints. 286 00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:17,120 And the biggest dicks. 287 00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:19,919 Hey, man! Shut the fuck up. Start rollin'. 288 00:16:27,559 --> 00:16:31,279 So, how did you get the name Billy the Rapist? 289 00:16:31,960 --> 00:16:34,320 Yeah, I get it. I had nicknames. 290 00:16:34,399 --> 00:16:36,320 They used to sing a rap about me in junior high. 291 00:16:36,399 --> 00:16:37,720 God, how did that go? 292 00:16:37,799 --> 00:16:42,639 Noah, Noah, ba... boah, banana, fanna, homoah. Noah! 293 00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:45,240 He was also known as "Karate Noah," 294 00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:48,600 because of his abilities to defend himself and loved ones. 295 00:16:48,679 --> 00:16:50,080 How are we all doing? 296 00:16:50,159 --> 00:16:53,879 Where the fuck are our fuckin' cats, bitch? 297 00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:57,159 Thank you for asking. They're on their way soon. 298 00:16:57,240 --> 00:17:00,399 Enjoy the salad, Billy the Rap... William. 299 00:17:01,679 --> 00:17:03,960 Franklin? Where the hell are you? 300 00:17:04,039 --> 00:17:06,839 I need those cats! These felons are getting rapey! 301 00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:10,640 No. Everything's fine, very fine. We'll be there soon. 302 00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:13,519 Good! What's that licking sound? 303 00:17:13,599 --> 00:17:17,559 Not me. I'm grooming the cats. 304 00:17:17,640 --> 00:17:19,839 - With your tongue? - Yes. 305 00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:22,880 - Okay, I'll let you go now, bye! - Wait! 306 00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:26,119 And so the brothers McFreak, Franklin and Phineas, 307 00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:30,799 rolled doobies as fast as they could, like a pair of Rumpelstiltskins 308 00:17:30,880 --> 00:17:32,839 for their very lives depended on it. 309 00:17:32,920 --> 00:17:37,519 Would they be able to finish their task before the dewy dawn rose from the... 310 00:17:37,599 --> 00:17:38,680 Done! 311 00:17:39,319 --> 00:17:42,839 - Sorry, what's that now? - I said, we're done. 312 00:17:44,119 --> 00:17:48,200 Sweet Mary and Joseph, that's a wee bit faster than I anticipated. 313 00:17:48,279 --> 00:17:50,039 Would you like to sit by the fire, 314 00:17:50,119 --> 00:17:51,960 share a dram, and hear the rest of my... 315 00:17:52,039 --> 00:17:54,839 Just tell him we're fucking done, you dumb Irish midget! 316 00:17:54,920 --> 00:17:56,240 The fuck you just call me? 317 00:17:56,319 --> 00:17:58,480 Peter Dinklage! What are you doing here? 318 00:17:58,559 --> 00:18:00,759 HBO fucked me out of the Thrones spin-off. 319 00:18:00,839 --> 00:18:03,799 They said a puppet is cheaper and won't bang all the extras. 320 00:18:04,160 --> 00:18:05,480 Aye, Yo! They done! 321 00:18:10,160 --> 00:18:13,720 It's a lot farther than I thought. Gotta book it. 322 00:18:13,799 --> 00:18:15,200 No, don't book it! 323 00:18:15,279 --> 00:18:19,039 - We gotta be super quiet, like a... - Revving speed! 324 00:18:22,319 --> 00:18:25,039 Bruh, I dunno know how the fuck you did it, but you did. 325 00:18:25,119 --> 00:18:27,920 You're free to go. Peace and love, bring it in. 326 00:18:35,559 --> 00:18:37,920 Baby, I'm here! Where are you? 327 00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:41,680 Anyone seen a sweet Siamese with a big old dick? 328 00:18:41,759 --> 00:18:45,720 - There you are! - It's okay, baby. I'm here. 329 00:18:45,799 --> 00:18:48,279 Somebody get me the fucking key! 330 00:18:48,359 --> 00:18:49,599 Freddy, what the fuck? 331 00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:52,880 Look, I know I'm a hero. You know I'm hero. 332 00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:56,079 Nobody has to say the word "hero" out loud or thank me. 333 00:18:56,160 --> 00:19:00,000 You idiot! We had everything taken care of. 334 00:19:00,079 --> 00:19:05,880 We told you to stay home. You are a ruiner! 335 00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:10,000 The Lucky Mothafucker's taking on water! 336 00:19:10,079 --> 00:19:11,799 You Freaks are dead. 337 00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:14,799 Oh, shit! 338 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,519 Get off the... 339 00:19:28,880 --> 00:19:31,759 - You see anything? - No, I can't see them. 340 00:19:31,839 --> 00:19:34,960 Me neither. Wait, what do you mean "them"? 341 00:19:35,039 --> 00:19:37,160 The cats. Who are you talkin' about? 342 00:19:37,240 --> 00:19:39,920 - Freddy. - Freddy. Right. 343 00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:43,440 No, I was including him in them. 344 00:19:44,359 --> 00:19:48,160 Man. I hope he's okay. There's a chance right? 345 00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:51,640 Sure. Yeah, I mean he was wearing his floaties. 346 00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:55,359 Yeah! And the North Pacific current, turns south. 347 00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:58,880 He'll probably wash up in Tijuana and have the time of his life. 348 00:19:58,960 --> 00:20:02,839 - Well, perfecto! So, about those cats? - They're dead. 349 00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:06,400 They didn't have floaties and well, you know, they're cats. 350 00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:11,079 Time to face the music. I gotta go tell Gretchen I let her down. 351 00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:13,359 We want cats! 352 00:20:14,119 --> 00:20:15,640 - Fuck this! - Good. 353 00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:17,960 - This is good! - We want cats! 354 00:20:18,039 --> 00:20:21,319 You're expressing your wants, not keeping them bottled up. 355 00:20:22,839 --> 00:20:25,240 They want Cats? I'll give 'em Cats. 356 00:20:25,319 --> 00:20:28,480 I want cats so bad I'll kill... 357 00:20:32,519 --> 00:20:34,319 God. Oh, jeez. 358 00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:38,440 Not a musical theatre crowd. 359 00:20:39,079 --> 00:20:43,200 Holy shit. Look at this disaster. Good luck getting laid now, pal. 360 00:20:43,279 --> 00:20:46,359 Franklin. Yes! You're here! Where are the cats? 361 00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:49,319 Cats. Well, okay, I was taking great care of them. 362 00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:52,839 But then things got a little prickly. You know how cats are. 363 00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:56,640 But then I went to great lengths and un-prickled them. 364 00:20:56,720 --> 00:21:01,119 But then things kinda went tits up, you know how cats are... 365 00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:05,160 - Franklin! Where are the fucking cats? - Well... 366 00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:09,119 See, that's what I gotta tell you. The cats are... 367 00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:13,079 ...are here? 368 00:21:13,839 --> 00:21:15,319 Ho, ho, ho! 369 00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:19,359 On Nibbles, on Peaches, on Pickles, on Frisky! 370 00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:23,599 Little Rapey! I missed you. 371 00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:27,079 He did it! The son of a bitch did it. 372 00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:29,079 Those are some strong cats. 373 00:21:33,039 --> 00:21:37,880 Gentlemen! To a crazy night, and to those we lost along the way. 374 00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:41,799 Specifically, Schoolboy Q. And who could forget Two-Ton? 375 00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:43,799 He played delightfully against type, 376 00:21:43,880 --> 00:21:46,839 and perished two to three weeks before he would have dropped dead 377 00:21:46,920 --> 00:21:48,440 from respiratory failure. 378 00:21:48,519 --> 00:21:50,079 - Here, here! - There, there. 379 00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:53,759 Freddy, I don't know how you pulled it off, but you did. 380 00:21:54,079 --> 00:21:57,000 And look, I might've said some things earlier today 381 00:21:57,079 --> 00:21:59,680 in the heat of the moment about your worthlessness 382 00:21:59,759 --> 00:22:01,480 and nonstop fuck-uppery. 383 00:22:02,039 --> 00:22:05,079 But I guess what I wanna say is. I'm sorry. 384 00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:08,000 - For what? - About that stuff I just said. 385 00:22:08,079 --> 00:22:10,240 - About what? - Never mind, buddy. 386 00:22:10,319 --> 00:22:12,240 We're just glad to have you back. 387 00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:18,279 Hey, cowboy. Give a gal a lift home? 388 00:22:20,039 --> 00:22:21,160 Ma'am? 389 00:22:25,519 --> 00:22:26,759 Go easy on the Dewars. 390 00:22:26,839 --> 00:22:29,599 I didn't save your ass so you could go all whiskey dick on me. 391 00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:32,400 I'll tie some rubber bands around that thing. Don't play with me. 392 00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:40,960 I'm gonna kill those motherfuckin' Freaks!