1
00:00:58,465 --> 00:01:00,500
Welcome back to
the "Shat Attack."

2
00:01:00,633 --> 00:01:02,302
I'm your host, Billy Shatz.

3
00:01:02,435 --> 00:01:03,738
Before we get to our mailbag,

4
00:01:03,871 --> 00:01:06,339
I want to take a moment
to thank our sponsor.

5
00:01:06,473 --> 00:01:08,709
♪ Kwajalein Beer ♪

6
00:01:08,843 --> 00:01:10,310
♪ Drink it, motherfucker ♪

7
00:01:10,443 --> 00:01:12,378
Grab yourself a six-pack
and let's talk about

8
00:01:12,512 --> 00:01:15,582
indie horror sensation
"Dead by Midnight."

9
00:01:15,716 --> 00:01:18,052
It tells the tale
of a television station

10
00:01:18,185 --> 00:01:21,122
overtaken by the pits of Hell
in search of fresh souls.

11
00:01:21,254 --> 00:01:23,991
It doesn't take long
before the bat's out of the bag

12
00:01:24,125 --> 00:01:26,359
When the viewers themselves
are sucked

13
00:01:26,493 --> 00:01:27,862
into a series of horror stories.

14
00:01:27,995 --> 00:01:29,755
Audiences and critics alike
are calling it...

15
00:01:29,864 --> 00:01:31,165
- calling it...
- calling it...

16
00:01:31,297 --> 00:01:32,733
an abomination,

17
00:01:32,867 --> 00:01:34,543
A slight against God
for which you're responsible.

18
00:01:34,567 --> 00:01:35,770
We'll be dead by...

19
00:01:35,903 --> 00:01:37,570
Midnight marauders to humanoids

20
00:01:37,705 --> 00:01:39,339
dwelling underground
can all agree.

21
00:01:39,472 --> 00:01:41,541
<i>There gonna be a lot of s'mores</i>

22
00:01:41,675 --> 00:01:45,545
<i>and whole lot of.</i>

23
00:01:45,679 --> 00:01:47,547
<i>- Suck!
- My scrotum. Ew.</i>

24
00:01:47,681 --> 00:01:49,717
<i>- Vaginal wipes.
- Suck it clean!</i>

25
00:01:49,850 --> 00:01:51,952
<i>The Power Bottom
can even pick up...</i>

26
00:01:52,086 --> 00:01:54,822
A rotting mess is
what it is, let's not forget.

27
00:01:54,955 --> 00:01:57,423
<i>The Mistress of Midnight... she
was bangin' back in the day,</i>

28
00:01:57,557 --> 00:01:58,826
<i>but what she's up to now,</i>

29
00:01:58,959 --> 00:02:00,961
<i>she's gone in
and thrown in the towel.</i>

30
00:02:26,253 --> 00:02:28,555
Atonement... what a drag.

31
00:02:28,689 --> 00:02:31,357
What's the difference
between kneeling and whispering,

32
00:02:31,491 --> 00:02:33,593
"Forgive me, father,
I have sinned"

33
00:02:33,727 --> 00:02:35,196
And sliding to your knees
and saying,

34
00:02:35,328 --> 00:02:37,097
"Sorry, daddy,
I've been naughty"?

35
00:02:37,231 --> 00:02:39,532
The difference is how much fun
you are having,

36
00:02:39,666 --> 00:02:41,268
and I do it religiously.

37
00:02:41,401 --> 00:02:44,305
Our first little slice of Hell
comes from a churchgoing,

38
00:02:44,437 --> 00:02:46,006
God-fearing little old lady.

39
00:02:46,140 --> 00:02:48,075
But that might be a matter
of perspective, too,

40
00:02:48,209 --> 00:02:49,576
now, might'n it?

41
00:02:49,710 --> 00:02:51,946
Prepare to be graced
with amazing performances

42
00:02:52,079 --> 00:02:54,815
by Edey Willis
and Sethery Michaelson

43
00:02:54,949 --> 00:02:58,953
in our first sacrilegious
sequence, "Hellevangelist."

44
00:02:59,086 --> 00:03:01,789
You can pause,
but you can't hide.

45
00:03:07,027 --> 00:03:11,564
<i>When you look at me,
my brothers and sisters,</i>

46
00:03:11,699 --> 00:03:15,169
do not look at me as a man
preaching the good word

47
00:03:15,302 --> 00:03:17,071
<i>No, no.</i>

48
00:03:17,204 --> 00:03:20,007
<i>Look at me as an appendage
to the Lord,</i>

49
00:03:20,140 --> 00:03:26,714
<i>as a bloody holy arm
reaching out to you for help</i>

50
00:03:26,847 --> 00:03:33,087
<i>because even the Lord
needs your help.</i>

51
00:03:33,220 --> 00:03:35,723
<i>He needs you to reach out
and grab his arm.</i>

52
00:03:35,856 --> 00:03:38,625
<i>This arm.</i>

53
00:03:39,894 --> 00:03:41,829
<i>And by helping him...</i>

54
00:03:45,665 --> 00:03:47,600
<i>you're helping yourselves...</i>

55
00:03:49,036 --> 00:03:51,437
<i>and all those around you.</i>

56
00:03:54,607 --> 00:03:57,745
<i>But I am more than just an arm.</i>

57
00:03:57,878 --> 00:04:01,215
<i>I am a vital organ.</i>

58
00:04:01,348 --> 00:04:04,785
<i>I am the pancreas to the Lord!</i>

59
00:04:04,919 --> 00:04:06,387
<i>Pumping vital love.</i>

60
00:04:06,519 --> 00:04:10,157
Yes.
The pancreas of the Lord.

61
00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:14,929
<i>Bring forward the first
to be healed.</i>

62
00:04:23,070 --> 00:04:25,638
Oh, look, Samuel.

63
00:04:25,773 --> 00:04:27,308
Darling, we're on the TV.

64
00:04:28,676 --> 00:04:29,843
<i>Do you believe,</i>

65
00:04:29,977 --> 00:04:32,279
<i>brother Samuel and sister Edey?</i>

66
00:04:32,413 --> 00:04:34,114
<i>We believe!</i>

67
00:04:36,050 --> 00:04:39,787
<i>Then grandfather, husband,
brother Samuel,</i>

68
00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:42,289
<i>rejoice in the power
of the bloody hand</i>

69
00:04:42,423 --> 00:04:43,791
<i>and the holy necktie!</i>

70
00:04:43,924 --> 00:04:46,592
<i>Be healed and you
should be healed!</i>

71
00:04:46,727 --> 00:04:49,229
Amen, Reverend.

72
00:04:49,363 --> 00:04:53,133
Yes, I understand now.

73
00:04:53,267 --> 00:04:54,935
Yes.

74
00:04:57,004 --> 00:04:59,807
Okay, Grandpa, you are all set.

75
00:04:59,940 --> 00:05:01,809
I'll check back
later tonight, okay?

76
00:05:01,942 --> 00:05:04,477
<i>- Amen! I'm healed!
- Amen!</i>

77
00:05:04,610 --> 00:05:06,546
<i>Amen!</i>

78
00:05:15,789 --> 00:05:19,994
<i>Americano Sethery Michaelson...</i>

79
00:05:20,127 --> 00:05:21,829
He should be good for a while.

80
00:05:21,962 --> 00:05:24,131
Uh, there's plenty of morphine
in the cabinets

81
00:05:24,264 --> 00:05:25,598
if there's any issues.

82
00:05:34,141 --> 00:05:36,810
Alright, Grandma,
I'm off to work.

83
00:05:38,112 --> 00:05:40,214
Don't send that crook
any more of your money.

84
00:05:40,347 --> 00:05:42,049
Of course, dear.

85
00:05:42,182 --> 00:05:44,351
You have a lovely day.

86
00:05:44,485 --> 00:05:45,719
Anissa will be by in a bit.

87
00:05:45,853 --> 00:05:47,821
And then I'll be back
later tonight, okay?

88
00:05:49,456 --> 00:05:50,590
Love you, Grandma.

89
00:05:50,724 --> 00:05:52,592
Love you, too, dear.

90
00:06:48,482 --> 00:06:50,317
<i>♪ 'Cause the blood
is dripping down ♪</i>

91
00:06:50,451 --> 00:06:51,952
<i>♪ Put your hands up ♪</i>

92
00:06:52,086 --> 00:06:53,921
<i>♪ 'Cause the blood
is dripping down ♪</i>

93
00:06:54,054 --> 00:06:57,324
<i>♪ The blood, the blood,
the blood, the blood ♪</i>

94
00:06:57,458 --> 00:07:00,660
<i>♪ The blood, the blood,
the blood is dripping down ♪</i>

95
00:07:00,794 --> 00:07:04,698
<i>♪ Let go if you're afraid ♪</i>

96
00:07:30,757 --> 00:07:35,863
♪ I'm gonna take your lips ♪

97
00:07:37,131 --> 00:07:40,267
♪ Put 'em in a box ♪

98
00:07:41,835 --> 00:07:47,074
♪ Take 'em up with me
to Heaven ♪

99
00:07:49,143 --> 00:07:54,781
♪ It would hardly be much
of a Heaven ♪

100
00:07:54,915 --> 00:07:58,719
♪ Without you ♪

101
00:08:03,724 --> 00:08:07,861
♪ I'm gonna take your arms ♪

102
00:08:09,696 --> 00:08:13,666
♪ Put 'em in a box ♪

103
00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:19,173
♪ Take 'em up with me
to Heaven ♪

104
00:08:19,306 --> 00:08:26,847
♪ Because it would hardly be
much of a Heaven ♪

105
00:08:26,980 --> 00:08:30,817
♪ Without you ♪

106
00:08:36,557 --> 00:08:38,425
Right.

107
00:08:42,462 --> 00:08:44,431
You know what I'm saying?

108
00:08:46,366 --> 00:08:47,701
Okay, bye.

109
00:08:47,834 --> 00:08:49,303
Ow!

110
00:08:51,672 --> 00:08:53,373
What the hell?

111
00:08:56,777 --> 00:08:58,745
S-S-Stop.

112
00:09:00,714 --> 00:09:02,416
Ow!

113
00:09:05,485 --> 00:09:07,955
Ow.

114
00:09:08,088 --> 00:09:11,391
<i>♪ 'Cause the Lord
is on the line ♪</i>

115
00:09:11,525 --> 00:09:13,160
<i>♪ And he will answer ♪</i>

116
00:09:57,037 --> 00:09:58,538
<i>♪ Oww! ♪</i>

117
00:09:58,672 --> 00:10:00,874
<i>♪ Alright! ♪</i>

118
00:10:01,008 --> 00:10:04,177
<i>♪ If you're tired
and all alone ♪</i>

119
00:10:04,311 --> 00:10:05,479
Ah.

120
00:10:05,612 --> 00:10:08,716
Now, you're not going
to feel a thing there, dear.

121
00:10:10,752 --> 00:10:14,621
♪ Go tell it on the mountain ♪

122
00:10:14,756 --> 00:10:18,959
♪ Over the hill and everywhere ♪

123
00:10:19,092 --> 00:10:23,664
♪ Go tell it on the mountain ♪

124
00:10:23,797 --> 00:10:27,434
♪ Over and everywhere ♪

125
00:10:40,180 --> 00:10:43,250
<i>♪ Oww! ♪</i>

126
00:10:43,383 --> 00:10:45,753
Now, don't move.

127
00:10:45,886 --> 00:10:47,954
You're going to muck it up.

128
00:11:18,820 --> 00:11:20,788
Ah!

129
00:11:20,921 --> 00:11:24,124
Oh, this is just beautiful,

130
00:11:24,257 --> 00:11:27,494
what you're doing for my Samuel.

131
00:11:27,627 --> 00:11:29,764
Just beautiful.

132
00:12:10,303 --> 00:12:14,341
Shall we say a prayer
together before I go?

133
00:12:17,077 --> 00:12:18,412
Oh, my.

134
00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:02,255
<i>I understand now</i>

135
00:13:02,389 --> 00:13:06,761
<i>how Reverend Sethery is
going to help us.</i>

136
00:13:06,894 --> 00:13:09,529
<i>He's going to help us all.</i>

137
00:13:37,925 --> 00:13:39,861
<i>Millions gathered
today at televangelist</i>

138
00:13:39,993 --> 00:13:42,930
<i>Sethery Michaelson's
Hand and Necktie mega church.</i>

139
00:13:43,063 --> 00:13:44,498
<i>The world-renowned televangelist</i>

140
00:13:44,631 --> 00:13:47,133
<i>was recently admitted
to St. Jude's Hospital.</i>

141
00:13:47,267 --> 00:13:48,769
<i>The nation was shocked
by reports</i>

142
00:13:48,903 --> 00:13:51,338
<i>that Michaelson
was attacked earlier today.</i>

143
00:13:51,471 --> 00:13:53,306
<i>His status is as yet unknown.</i>

144
00:13:53,440 --> 00:13:55,242
What a nice young man.

145
00:13:55,375 --> 00:13:59,045
You know, I think
I'll give him some money.

146
00:13:59,179 --> 00:14:00,681
No!
No!

147
00:14:06,019 --> 00:14:09,022
Usually, I hate a story
with religious undertones.

148
00:14:09,155 --> 00:14:11,291
But I thought seeing the
separation of church and hate

149
00:14:11,424 --> 00:14:12,994
made for quite a ride tonight.

150
00:14:13,126 --> 00:14:15,595
Right, my bright
little acolytes?

151
00:14:15,730 --> 00:14:17,664
But that's enough
for one Sabbath.

152
00:14:17,798 --> 00:14:20,333
Make sure to stay tuned in
for more slight frights

153
00:14:20,467 --> 00:14:22,469
from "Dead by Midnight."

154
00:14:22,602 --> 00:14:26,473
"My kingdom come,
my will be done."

155
00:14:30,143 --> 00:14:32,612
Cut!

156
00:14:33,981 --> 00:14:35,382
Hi. I'm Kane Hodder.

157
00:14:39,386 --> 00:14:42,055
I'm known as the deadliest man
in Hollywood.

158
00:14:42,188 --> 00:14:44,692
<i>Another true story
with Murderol.</i>

159
00:14:44,825 --> 00:14:47,962
Unfortunately, my desire
for brutal violence

160
00:14:48,094 --> 00:14:50,865
doesn't always stay on the set.

161
00:14:50,998 --> 00:14:53,633
So when I tell you I've finally
found the medication

162
00:14:53,768 --> 00:14:56,971
to curb my murderous impulses,

163
00:14:57,103 --> 00:14:59,406
you can believe me.

164
00:14:59,539 --> 00:15:02,142
And if you don't, I'll kill you
and your family.

165
00:15:20,861 --> 00:15:22,029
Oh, Kane!

166
00:15:22,162 --> 00:15:24,464
<i>Another victim spared.</i>

167
00:15:24,598 --> 00:15:28,803
In fact, I don't even think
about killing anymore.

168
00:15:28,936 --> 00:15:33,440
Murderol has given me
a new chance at happiness.

169
00:15:33,573 --> 00:15:35,642
Just look at how happy I am.

170
00:15:38,378 --> 00:15:39,747
<i>That's right.</i>

171
00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:43,017
<i>Stop killing people,
start killing time</i>

172
00:15:43,149 --> 00:15:44,584
<i>with Murderol.</i>

173
00:15:44,719 --> 00:15:46,787
This is the hottest
show in Hell right now

174
00:15:46,921 --> 00:15:48,923
and we're running
commercials for pills

175
00:15:49,056 --> 00:15:51,058
to <i>stop</i> killing people?

176
00:15:51,191 --> 00:15:52,793
What the hell?

177
00:15:52,927 --> 00:15:57,798
Parents, no one is putting drugs
in your kids' Halloween candy.

178
00:15:57,932 --> 00:15:59,499
It just isn't happening.

179
00:15:59,633 --> 00:16:02,636
Thousands of parents suffer
from the delusions every year

180
00:16:02,770 --> 00:16:06,707
that people are putting cannabis
or LSD or Molly

181
00:16:06,841 --> 00:16:08,876
into their kids'
Halloween treats,

182
00:16:09,010 --> 00:16:12,847
introducing your children to
a host of dangerous substances

183
00:16:12,980 --> 00:16:15,816
and the opportunity to trip
their tiny little balls

184
00:16:15,950 --> 00:16:18,218
right off.

185
00:16:19,987 --> 00:16:22,757
<i>Helicopter-parent study
number 420 commencing.</i>

186
00:16:22,890 --> 00:16:24,810
<i>Alright, boys, here we go.
Keep your eyes on Mom.</i>

187
00:16:24,892 --> 00:16:26,660
<i>The trigger has been delivered.</i>

188
00:16:26,794 --> 00:16:28,261
<i>Put on your protective goggles.</i>

189
00:16:28,395 --> 00:16:29,830
<i>Tell my wife I love her.</i>

190
00:16:29,964 --> 00:16:31,675
<i>Oh, the poor child doesn't
even see it coming.</i>

191
00:16:31,699 --> 00:16:33,533
<i>Abort! Abort!
Nope, we're in it.</i>

192
00:16:33,667 --> 00:16:35,301
<i>The redhead is going nuke-ular.</i>

193
00:16:37,370 --> 00:16:40,173
<i>Oh, dear God, she's gone slo-mo.</i>

194
00:16:40,306 --> 00:16:41,608
<i>I told you this would happen.</i>

195
00:16:41,742 --> 00:16:44,011
<i>My grandfather built that table.</i>

196
00:16:44,145 --> 00:16:47,614
So, parents, this Halloween,

197
00:16:47,748 --> 00:16:50,650
save your social-media outrage,

198
00:16:50,785 --> 00:16:52,318
calm your tits,

199
00:16:52,452 --> 00:16:55,156
and remember,

200
00:16:55,288 --> 00:16:58,959
no one is trying to put drugs
in your kids' Halloween treats

201
00:16:59,093 --> 00:17:01,628
as a mean Halloween trick.

202
00:17:01,762 --> 00:17:04,165
No one's trying
to drug your kids.

203
00:17:04,297 --> 00:17:06,133
'Cause drugs are expensive.

204
00:17:11,604 --> 00:17:14,207
And we don't wanna share
with your shithead kids.

205
00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:27,121
Fuck.

206
00:17:34,360 --> 00:17:36,663
Oh, children these days.

207
00:17:36,797 --> 00:17:39,299
They're so spoiled
with their little devices,

208
00:17:39,432 --> 00:17:41,001
aren't they?

209
00:17:41,135 --> 00:17:44,038
No matter where you go, there
are screens all around you.

210
00:17:44,171 --> 00:17:45,973
There's no escaping it.

211
00:17:46,107 --> 00:17:47,640
Really.

212
00:17:47,775 --> 00:17:50,845
At times like this, I believe
it's important to remember

213
00:17:50,978 --> 00:17:53,446
the monsters we make ourselves.

214
00:17:53,580 --> 00:17:57,283
So our next tale is about
a creative cool cat

215
00:17:57,417 --> 00:17:59,186
whose whole life is
about to wind up

216
00:17:59,319 --> 00:18:01,055
on the cutting-room floor.

217
00:18:01,188 --> 00:18:03,090
We'll be seeing Julia Walters

218
00:18:03,224 --> 00:18:08,062
and a fresh-faced feline
in our next eerie edition...

219
00:18:08,195 --> 00:18:09,697
"Jasper."

220
00:18:09,830 --> 00:18:12,733
You can pause,
but you cannot hide.

221
00:18:38,726 --> 00:18:41,494
Time to set the world on fire.

222
00:18:41,628 --> 00:18:43,998
You're probably wondering
how we got here.

223
00:18:44,131 --> 00:18:45,833
Let's rewind a bit.

224
00:19:09,256 --> 00:19:11,725
My name is Julia Walters.

225
00:19:11,859 --> 00:19:14,594
Jack Walters was my father.

226
00:19:14,728 --> 00:19:16,496
Most people would say that

227
00:19:16,629 --> 00:19:20,000
Jasper the Cat
was his greatest achievement.

228
00:19:20,134 --> 00:19:25,973
But I know that what he was
most proud of was his family.

229
00:19:26,106 --> 00:19:27,540
He always used to tell me,

230
00:19:27,675 --> 00:19:31,278
"Julia, one day, you're gonna
set the world on fire."

231
00:19:36,549 --> 00:19:38,618
He was my best friend.

232
00:19:38,752 --> 00:19:40,821
It's no secret that he drank

233
00:19:40,955 --> 00:19:44,490
and that he blamed himself
for what happened to my mother.

234
00:19:44,624 --> 00:19:47,594
So his suicide, while tragic...

235
00:19:49,964 --> 00:19:52,398
was not altogether
unanticipated.

236
00:19:59,505 --> 00:20:03,043
I am proud to follow
in my father's footsteps

237
00:20:03,177 --> 00:20:06,981
and to keep Jasper alive
for the next generation.

238
00:20:07,114 --> 00:20:09,850
So thank you all
for coming here today.

239
00:20:14,722 --> 00:20:18,259
Especially to my wife, Ally,

240
00:20:18,391 --> 00:20:23,264
for supporting me on one
of the worst days of my life.

241
00:20:27,334 --> 00:20:28,869
I'm sorry. I...

242
00:20:35,508 --> 00:20:37,912
Shit.

243
00:20:38,045 --> 00:20:39,880
I'm not here.

244
00:20:43,284 --> 00:20:44,952
I'm here.

245
00:20:57,231 --> 00:20:58,966
<i>Let me in.</i>

246
00:21:04,371 --> 00:21:07,507
Sorry, ma'am, I can't let you in
without a proper ID.

247
00:21:07,640 --> 00:21:09,509
She's with me, Mike.

248
00:21:09,642 --> 00:21:11,644
Oh. Sorry, Ms. Julia.

249
00:21:11,779 --> 00:21:14,081
Can never be too sure.

250
00:21:14,214 --> 00:21:15,883
Late hours and all.

251
00:21:18,852 --> 00:21:20,620
Are you new here?

252
00:21:20,754 --> 00:21:22,423
As a matter of fact, I am.

253
00:21:22,555 --> 00:21:25,259
Name's Mike.
Nice to meet you.

254
00:21:25,392 --> 00:21:27,094
Your office... now.

255
00:21:35,002 --> 00:21:36,636
I should've known
that you'd be here.

256
00:21:36,770 --> 00:21:37,938
Now, where else would you be?

257
00:21:38,072 --> 00:21:40,140
Certainly not at home
with your wife.

258
00:21:40,274 --> 00:21:43,010
And not at the cemetery
for your own father's funeral.

259
00:21:43,143 --> 00:21:45,346
I had a deadline.
Dad would understand.

260
00:21:45,478 --> 00:21:46,680
You're just like him.

261
00:21:46,814 --> 00:21:48,282
Down to the empty bottle.

262
00:21:48,415 --> 00:21:50,985
Thank you for noticing
our heartwarming similarities.

263
00:21:51,118 --> 00:21:52,796
I'm just surprised that
your damned cartoon

264
00:21:52,820 --> 00:21:54,121
can even stand up straight.

265
00:21:54,254 --> 00:21:56,757
That's the beauty of
digitizing the series, dear.

266
00:21:56,890 --> 00:21:59,893
Don't need steady hands
to click a mouse.

267
00:22:00,027 --> 00:22:01,195
Cute.

268
00:22:01,328 --> 00:22:04,298
You know, I've forgiven you
for a lot lately,

269
00:22:04,431 --> 00:22:05,631
since your mom.

270
00:22:05,766 --> 00:22:07,067
And I'm really sorry,

271
00:22:07,201 --> 00:22:09,236
'cause I thought I knew
what I was signing up for,

272
00:22:09,370 --> 00:22:11,905
but this is not what
I expected my life to be.

273
00:22:12,039 --> 00:22:14,108
Okay, well, this season's
almost done.

274
00:22:14,241 --> 00:22:16,642
We'll go on a vacation soon,
alright?

275
00:22:16,777 --> 00:22:19,579
God, you're not listening to me.

276
00:22:19,713 --> 00:22:21,382
You're not you.

277
00:22:21,514 --> 00:22:23,384
We are not us.

278
00:22:23,516 --> 00:22:24,718
You're depressed all the time.

279
00:22:24,852 --> 00:22:26,887
You barely see daylight.

280
00:22:27,021 --> 00:22:28,956
Even Jasper is getting darker.

281
00:22:29,089 --> 00:22:31,624
He spent the entire
last episode at a bar.

282
00:22:31,759 --> 00:22:35,528
Well, you can't divorce
the art from the artist.

283
00:22:35,661 --> 00:22:38,399
Maybe not.

284
00:22:38,531 --> 00:22:40,934
But you can divorce the artist.

285
00:22:44,271 --> 00:22:47,274
My dad just died.

286
00:22:47,408 --> 00:22:49,410
I hired a lawyer.

287
00:22:49,542 --> 00:22:52,179
What do you want?

288
00:22:52,312 --> 00:22:53,646
Do you want a kid?

289
00:22:53,781 --> 00:22:55,883
Let's have a kid.
Will that make you happy?

290
00:22:56,016 --> 00:22:57,317
Yes.

291
00:22:57,451 --> 00:23:00,553
It would if I didn't think
I'd be raising it alone.

292
00:23:03,090 --> 00:23:05,292
What do you think
I'm doing here, Ally?

293
00:23:05,426 --> 00:23:07,995
Why do you think
I'm here night after night?

294
00:23:08,128 --> 00:23:10,531
I'm busting my ass to provide
for the family

295
00:23:10,663 --> 00:23:12,366
that I know that you want, okay?

296
00:23:12,499 --> 00:23:14,001
Kids are expensive, Ally.

297
00:23:14,134 --> 00:23:16,246
It's not like we can just
make one the old-fashioned way.

298
00:23:16,270 --> 00:23:18,571
It doesn't...
I don't want kids with you.

299
00:23:18,705 --> 00:23:21,175
You're never home.
You're always drunk.

300
00:23:21,308 --> 00:23:23,777
You're turning into an asshole
just like your dad.

301
00:23:23,911 --> 00:23:26,447
It is no wonder that your mom
killed herself, too.

302
00:23:37,357 --> 00:23:38,492
Ally!

303
00:23:40,626 --> 00:23:42,563
Whew! That's better.

304
00:23:42,696 --> 00:23:44,798
Hiya, Julia.
I'm here for you.

305
00:23:44,932 --> 00:23:48,936
You're my best friend,
and she was being mean to you.

306
00:23:49,069 --> 00:23:50,804
Okay.

307
00:23:50,938 --> 00:23:52,706
Okay, this isn't happening.

308
00:23:52,840 --> 00:23:54,108
This isn't real.

309
00:23:54,241 --> 00:23:55,809
Aw, little buddy.

310
00:23:55,943 --> 00:23:57,544
Maybe this'll help.

311
00:24:00,814 --> 00:24:02,583
Stop it!

312
00:24:02,716 --> 00:24:04,617
No, stop!

313
00:24:07,354 --> 00:24:09,655
Okay, I believe you're real!

314
00:24:09,790 --> 00:24:12,793
Good! Now I've got
a job to do.

315
00:24:15,129 --> 00:24:16,129
What?

316
00:24:16,196 --> 00:24:17,998
I'm gonna kill your wife, silly.

317
00:24:18,132 --> 00:24:21,835
Just like I killed your
mommy and your daddy

318
00:24:21,969 --> 00:24:25,005
and anyone else who tries
to keep us apart.

319
00:24:25,139 --> 00:24:27,574
You're my best friend.

320
00:24:27,708 --> 00:24:29,543
This'll be a lot of fun.

321
00:24:29,676 --> 00:24:32,645
Just don't try and stop me!

322
00:24:32,779 --> 00:24:34,114
No!

323
00:24:34,248 --> 00:24:36,550
Say bye, Julia.

324
00:24:36,683 --> 00:24:38,685
No! Ally!

325
00:24:41,355 --> 00:24:42,956
Fuck.

326
00:24:59,672 --> 00:25:01,575
Mike! Mike!

327
00:25:01,708 --> 00:25:02,809
Call the police.

328
00:25:02,943 --> 00:25:04,344
Ms. Julia,
w-what is it?

329
00:25:04,478 --> 00:25:06,213
What's the emergency?
What's going on?

330
00:25:06,346 --> 00:25:08,182
Shh!
What?

331
00:25:11,618 --> 00:25:12,786
Aah!

332
00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:14,021
What the fuck?!

333
00:25:14,154 --> 00:25:17,658
I told you not to try
and stop me.

334
00:25:17,791 --> 00:25:20,627
Now look what you made me do.

335
00:25:20,794 --> 00:25:22,462
- Where's my wife?
- Who?

336
00:25:22,596 --> 00:25:24,097
You know who, you giant prick.

337
00:25:24,231 --> 00:25:25,632
Unh, unh, unh!

338
00:25:25,766 --> 00:25:27,201
Language, missy.

339
00:25:27,334 --> 00:25:30,304
This program is rated TV-PG.

340
00:25:30,437 --> 00:25:31,605
Not anymore, asshole.

341
00:25:34,308 --> 00:25:36,176
You won't get to her in time.

342
00:25:36,310 --> 00:25:40,547
The train has left the station,
and it's never late.

343
00:26:07,641 --> 00:26:09,776
This is so cliché.

344
00:26:18,385 --> 00:26:20,487
Help!

345
00:26:21,855 --> 00:26:23,290
- Ally!
- Took you long enough.

346
00:26:23,423 --> 00:26:24,825
Got here as fast as I could.

347
00:26:24,958 --> 00:26:26,236
You could come
a little bit faster.

348
00:26:26,260 --> 00:26:27,828
You're right, dear, of course.

349
00:26:33,066 --> 00:26:34,434
Are you almost done?
Almost!

350
00:26:34,568 --> 00:26:37,104
Okay.

351
00:26:37,237 --> 00:26:39,172
Okay, let's go!
Okay.

352
00:26:47,381 --> 00:26:49,049
Okay, all caught up?

353
00:26:49,182 --> 00:26:51,051
Let's take it back to the top.

354
00:26:57,224 --> 00:26:58,392
What are you doing?

355
00:26:58,525 --> 00:27:00,427
Jasper murdered
my parents, Ally.

356
00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:02,195
Nobody committed suicide.
He killed them.

357
00:27:02,329 --> 00:27:03,897
And he's probably gonna kill you

358
00:27:04,031 --> 00:27:07,801
and then me, too, if we don't
take him out first.

359
00:27:07,934 --> 00:27:09,803
Do you still want
to get divorced?

360
00:27:09,936 --> 00:27:11,305
Will you quit your job?

361
00:27:11,438 --> 00:27:13,607
Probably getting fired
after I blow up the station.

362
00:27:13,741 --> 00:27:16,009
I love you.
Let's have kids.

363
00:27:19,913 --> 00:27:21,481
Ready?

364
00:27:26,386 --> 00:27:28,221
Hell yeah.

365
00:27:55,717 --> 00:27:57,184
Aww!

366
00:27:58,885 --> 00:28:01,421
Hey, little guy.

367
00:28:01,555 --> 00:28:03,623
Pwease don't kill me.

368
00:28:03,758 --> 00:28:06,126
You're my best fwiend.

369
00:28:08,195 --> 00:28:10,732
Thing is, you murdered
my family.

370
00:28:12,834 --> 00:28:13,967
Hmm.

371
00:28:39,626 --> 00:28:41,928
Meowww!

372
00:29:01,014 --> 00:29:02,784
Go, go, go!

373
00:29:04,918 --> 00:29:06,520
Uh-oh!

374
00:29:17,765 --> 00:29:19,700
That was insane.
Yeah.

375
00:29:21,334 --> 00:29:23,270
Your dad would be proud.

376
00:29:27,140 --> 00:29:29,576
Yeah.
Do you really wanna have kids?

377
00:29:29,710 --> 00:29:32,312
I think we can handle it.

378
00:29:32,446 --> 00:29:34,981
I think we can handle anything.

379
00:29:36,516 --> 00:29:37,919
Me, too.

380
00:29:38,051 --> 00:29:39,419
Should we adopt?

381
00:29:39,553 --> 00:29:42,255
Or try it the old-fashioned way?

382
00:29:42,389 --> 00:29:44,157
Can't hurt to practice.

383
00:29:53,200 --> 00:29:54,902
Oh, fuck.

384
00:30:07,481 --> 00:30:09,182
Hello, I'm Jerri Dandridge,

385
00:30:09,316 --> 00:30:11,218
and I'm running
to be your mayor.

386
00:30:11,351 --> 00:30:14,054
When I came
to this country in 1687,

387
00:30:14,187 --> 00:30:16,724
I had a vision
of what America could be...

388
00:30:16,858 --> 00:30:19,125
a land of opportunity, freedom,

389
00:30:19,259 --> 00:30:20,895
and feasting
in the eternal darkness.

390
00:30:21,061 --> 00:30:24,030
I support the second amendment
because guns don't kill people.

391
00:30:24,164 --> 00:30:25,800
Hells yeah!

392
00:30:25,933 --> 00:30:27,768
I do.
Wait, what?

393
00:30:29,402 --> 00:30:32,005
See you at the
straight pride rally!

394
00:30:35,175 --> 00:30:36,610
Unlike my fellow Republicans,

395
00:30:36,744 --> 00:30:39,747
I support the full
legalization of marijuana.

396
00:30:39,881 --> 00:30:41,114
Sweet.

397
00:30:41,248 --> 00:30:44,117
Makes 'em easier to catch.

398
00:30:44,251 --> 00:30:46,152
And I'm staunchly pro-life.

399
00:30:46,286 --> 00:30:49,322
As Whitney Houston and the
textile industry once said,

400
00:30:49,456 --> 00:30:52,259
"The children
are our future."

401
00:30:56,563 --> 00:30:58,098
Mmm!

402
00:30:58,231 --> 00:30:59,834
Almost fresh out the oven.

403
00:31:06,774 --> 00:31:10,277
My name is Jerri Dandridge,
and I approve this message.

404
00:31:18,351 --> 00:31:20,620
Sometimes...

405
00:31:20,755 --> 00:31:24,090
household cleaners
just won't cut it.

406
00:31:24,224 --> 00:31:26,928
A tough job calls
for a tougher clean.

407
00:31:27,060 --> 00:31:30,130
From the makers of SpikeTape
comes CleanSlate...

408
00:31:30,263 --> 00:31:35,201
the only evidence eraser capable
of executing a perfect clean.

409
00:31:35,335 --> 00:31:37,270
There's nothing humorous
about about humerus

410
00:31:37,404 --> 00:31:39,439
getting stuck in your grout.

411
00:31:39,573 --> 00:31:42,642
Now, with CleanSlate's
patented power nozzle,

412
00:31:42,777 --> 00:31:44,845
you can destroy
latent bio-evidence

413
00:31:44,979 --> 00:31:47,380
on a molecular level.

414
00:31:47,514 --> 00:31:48,615
Mmm-mmm!

415
00:31:48,749 --> 00:31:50,116
Look at that shine.

416
00:31:50,250 --> 00:31:53,153
Order now and you'll receive
your very own body dissolver

417
00:31:53,286 --> 00:31:54,755
absolutely free!

418
00:31:54,889 --> 00:31:56,757
Send cash and money orders to...

419
00:31:56,891 --> 00:31:58,793
1-800-No-Vdnce.

420
00:31:58,926 --> 00:32:01,461
That's 1-800-No-Vdnce.

421
00:32:01,595 --> 00:32:03,396
Say goodbye to prison time

422
00:32:03,530 --> 00:32:06,633
and say hello
to reasonable doubt

423
00:32:06,767 --> 00:32:08,703
with CleanSlate.

424
00:32:08,836 --> 00:32:11,072
Now with lime!

425
00:32:11,204 --> 00:32:14,041
Nothing to see here.

426
00:32:15,910 --> 00:32:17,110
Down in the dumps?

427
00:32:17,243 --> 00:32:19,013
Feel like your life is a waste?

428
00:32:19,145 --> 00:32:20,145
Rubbish.

429
00:32:20,246 --> 00:32:21,615
Dispose of those silly notions

430
00:32:21,749 --> 00:32:24,451
and join me for another edition
of "Dead by Midnight."

431
00:32:24,584 --> 00:32:26,053
Our next piece
begs the question,

432
00:32:26,186 --> 00:32:27,788
"What are we most afraid of?"

433
00:32:27,922 --> 00:32:30,557
Is it the horrors we
run from in the dark

434
00:32:30,691 --> 00:32:32,760
or the fiends
we make along the way?

435
00:32:32,893 --> 00:32:35,328
We'll be seeing a solo
performance of tonight's

436
00:32:35,462 --> 00:32:39,366
terrifying toss-out...
"Clean UR Room."

437
00:32:39,499 --> 00:32:42,770
You can pause,
but you can't hide.

438
00:32:54,180 --> 00:32:57,051
Oh, yeah, baby.

439
00:32:57,183 --> 00:32:59,120
Oh, yeah. Show me.

440
00:33:15,301 --> 00:33:18,005
<i>See you soon.</i>

441
00:33:22,076 --> 00:33:23,778
Damn it.

442
00:33:29,349 --> 00:33:31,651
What?
Why was your door locked?

443
00:33:31,786 --> 00:33:33,420
Mom, I'm not a kid
anymore, okay?

444
00:33:33,553 --> 00:33:35,156
I need privacy.
My own space.

445
00:33:35,288 --> 00:33:36,768
Okay, well, when you
start paying rent

446
00:33:36,824 --> 00:33:38,367
for your own space,
you can lock the door.

447
00:33:38,391 --> 00:33:39,860
Until then, it remains unlocked.

448
00:33:39,994 --> 00:33:41,062
What did you want?

449
00:33:41,227 --> 00:33:42,462
I'm going out for the evening.

450
00:33:42,595 --> 00:33:44,074
There's plenty of stuff
in the freezer.

451
00:33:44,098 --> 00:33:46,433
You can microwave it.
Please read the directions.

452
00:33:46,566 --> 00:33:49,737
Do not blow up the house.
Okay.

453
00:33:49,870 --> 00:33:51,538
And clean your room!

454
00:34:35,049 --> 00:34:36,583
Aah! Aah!

455
00:35:00,640 --> 00:35:02,575
Alright, I'm back.

456
00:35:04,111 --> 00:35:05,679
Ready to get wrecked?

457
00:35:05,813 --> 00:35:07,447
Yeah, okay.

458
00:35:07,580 --> 00:35:09,415
I owned you last time, bitch.
Let's go.

459
00:35:28,501 --> 00:35:30,370
I'm fine.

460
00:35:30,503 --> 00:35:31,705
Little bitch.

461
00:35:31,839 --> 00:35:33,640
No, I wasn't...
That doesn't count.

462
00:35:33,774 --> 00:35:36,643
I mean, yeah, it counts,
but okay, fuck you.

463
00:35:41,381 --> 00:35:42,716
Yeah, how you like that, huh?

464
00:35:42,850 --> 00:35:45,351
A little T-bag.
How you like that, huh?

465
00:35:45,485 --> 00:35:47,188
How you like that shit?

466
00:36:17,885 --> 00:36:20,221
Alright, I'm done.

467
00:36:20,353 --> 00:36:23,257
I can't handle the ass-beating
you're getting right now.

468
00:36:23,389 --> 00:36:25,059
I'll see ya tomorrow.

469
00:37:08,102 --> 00:37:09,803
Mom?

470
00:37:14,041 --> 00:37:15,743
Mom?

471
00:37:20,814 --> 00:37:22,116
Mom?

472
00:37:38,032 --> 00:37:40,868
Oh. Oh, no.

473
00:37:41,001 --> 00:37:42,502
Oh, no. Oh, no.

474
00:37:42,635 --> 00:37:44,972
Oh, God. Oh!

475
00:37:45,105 --> 00:37:47,408
Oh! Ah!

476
00:37:47,540 --> 00:37:49,777
Oh! Whoa!

477
00:37:49,910 --> 00:37:52,445
Ah!

478
00:38:02,856 --> 00:38:04,224
Ah!

479
00:38:04,358 --> 00:38:06,160
Oh!

480
00:38:12,866 --> 00:38:14,134
No.

481
00:38:41,895 --> 00:38:43,197
Nuh!

482
00:39:04,251 --> 00:39:06,586
Ah!

483
00:39:06,720 --> 00:39:08,621
Nice work, genius.

484
00:39:48,128 --> 00:39:49,830
Let's do this.

485
00:39:58,972 --> 00:40:00,340
Mom?

486
00:40:11,852 --> 00:40:16,223
Hey, if anyone's in here,
you better get out!

487
00:40:18,559 --> 00:40:21,929
You'd hate to be at the other
end of this sword.

488
00:40:24,597 --> 00:40:26,967
Yah!

489
00:40:27,101 --> 00:40:29,570
That's a wall.

490
00:40:29,703 --> 00:40:31,637
Awesome.

491
00:40:33,673 --> 00:40:37,578
Hey, you see those
reflexes, huh?

492
00:40:37,711 --> 00:40:41,048
If that was you,
you'd have been a goner.

493
00:40:41,181 --> 00:40:42,516
Huh?

494
00:41:00,367 --> 00:41:02,169
Okay, okay.

495
00:41:02,302 --> 00:41:04,738
Cut the shit, Trevor.

496
00:41:04,872 --> 00:41:07,808
It's all in your head.
You're an adult man.

497
00:41:07,941 --> 00:41:10,077
Be an adult.

498
00:41:10,210 --> 00:41:11,745
I'm a man.

499
00:41:13,646 --> 00:41:15,315
I'm a man.

500
00:41:58,559 --> 00:42:00,093
Mr. Hot Dog?

501
00:42:05,933 --> 00:42:08,135
I can't believe
Mom put you down here.

502
00:42:14,908 --> 00:42:17,377
Oh, shit.

503
00:42:25,652 --> 00:42:27,689
What the hell?

504
00:44:18,098 --> 00:44:20,167
What is going on in here?

505
00:44:20,300 --> 00:44:23,970
You can't... You can't just pile
your stuff in the corner.

506
00:44:25,305 --> 00:44:27,050
I really don't think
you understand the concept

507
00:44:27,074 --> 00:44:28,975
of clean your room.

508
00:44:31,746 --> 00:44:33,513
Mom?

509
00:44:40,722 --> 00:44:43,290
What are you looking at?

510
00:44:56,103 --> 00:44:58,706
No, no, no!

511
00:46:25,726 --> 00:46:29,496
Mm, I just feel awful
about the way that ended.

512
00:46:29,629 --> 00:46:31,231
For the monster, I mean.

513
00:46:31,364 --> 00:46:35,402
Oh, don't look at me like that.
I get off on being trashy.

514
00:46:35,535 --> 00:46:37,971
Litter-ally.

515
00:46:47,614 --> 00:46:51,151
But let's suppose we dispose
of the deposed for now.

516
00:46:51,284 --> 00:46:53,987
Until some fresh souls
get tossed out,

517
00:46:54,120 --> 00:46:55,923
you'll know where to find me.

518
00:46:56,056 --> 00:46:59,192
I'll be right here waiting...

519
00:46:59,326 --> 00:47:00,994
for you.

520
00:47:01,127 --> 00:47:04,966
Every year on Valentine's Day,
people spend hundreds of dollars

521
00:47:05,098 --> 00:47:06,375
trying to tell their
loved ones...

522
00:47:06,399 --> 00:47:08,668
fuck... how they truly feel.

523
00:47:08,803 --> 00:47:10,938
But what about
the people you hate?

524
00:47:11,071 --> 00:47:12,940
Don't you want to tell
your co-workers

525
00:47:13,073 --> 00:47:14,674
how you really feel about them?

526
00:47:14,809 --> 00:47:17,477
Well, that's why I started
Bag of Dicks Delivery.

527
00:47:17,611 --> 00:47:21,414
I will send a bag of dicks
to your enemy's doorstep.

528
00:47:21,548 --> 00:47:24,251
And we got a variety
of dick options available.

529
00:47:24,384 --> 00:47:26,520
♪ Bag of Dicks,
Bag of Dicks ♪

530
00:47:26,653 --> 00:47:28,923
♪ Look at you sending
that Bag of Dicks ♪

531
00:47:29,055 --> 00:47:31,124
♪ Bag of Dicks for delivery ♪

532
00:47:31,258 --> 00:47:32,927
♪ One for every enemy ♪

533
00:47:33,059 --> 00:47:35,328
♪ It's a bag, it's a bag,
it's a bag, it's a bag ♪

534
00:47:35,462 --> 00:47:37,464
♪ It's a bag, it's a bag,
it's a bag, it's a bag ♪

535
00:47:37,597 --> 00:47:39,666
♪ It's a bag, it's a bag,
it's a bag, it's a bag ♪

536
00:47:39,800 --> 00:47:41,444
♪ It's dicks, dicks, dicks,
dicks, dicks, dicks, ♪

537
00:47:41,468 --> 00:47:43,069
♪ Dicks, dicks, dicks ♪

538
00:47:52,713 --> 00:47:56,984
Killing the planet for profits,
campaign meddling, fake news,

539
00:47:57,117 --> 00:47:59,720
and the rise
of race-baiting nationalism

540
00:47:59,854 --> 00:48:02,155
have all been debunked
as libtard cluckery.

541
00:48:03,691 --> 00:48:05,211
But with the advent
of a new program...

542
00:48:05,258 --> 00:48:07,294
Streaming service.

543
00:48:07,427 --> 00:48:09,596
Right, programmable streaming

544
00:48:09,730 --> 00:48:13,199
literally pulling people's souls
out of their bodies,

545
00:48:13,333 --> 00:48:14,733
critics have been quick
to point out

546
00:48:14,802 --> 00:48:17,137
this is the work of
Satan himself.

547
00:48:17,270 --> 00:48:18,605
Do you care to comment?

548
00:48:18,739 --> 00:48:22,642
He goes by "Luci" now,
and while he may be the owner,

549
00:48:22,777 --> 00:48:25,445
you can think of me as the CEO.

550
00:48:25,579 --> 00:48:28,548
Soul-harvesting this quarter
has definitely seen an increase,

551
00:48:28,683 --> 00:48:31,551
but I wanted to get back
to the eternal suffering

552
00:48:31,686 --> 00:48:35,155
and blind devotion
that this all started with.

553
00:48:35,288 --> 00:48:37,357
Are you left-handed
or right, Chirk?

554
00:48:37,490 --> 00:48:38,793
Right.

555
00:48:38,926 --> 00:48:40,995
<i>Right. Pick up the hammer
with your left hand.</i>

556
00:48:41,127 --> 00:48:44,097
<i>See, I don't think of
suffering as a byproduct.</i>

557
00:48:44,230 --> 00:48:46,566
<i>I want it to be
our new main export.</i>

558
00:48:46,701 --> 00:48:48,568
<i>Now smash your right hand.</i>

559
00:48:48,703 --> 00:48:49,904
You got it.

560
00:48:51,471 --> 00:48:53,273
<i>It's not enough
to throw a wide net.</i>

561
00:48:53,406 --> 00:48:56,476
<i>I want to be in every home
across the world</i>

562
00:48:56,610 --> 00:48:59,346
<i>with the specific intent
of pain.</i>

563
00:48:59,479 --> 00:49:01,181
<i>This program
is just the beginning.</i>

564
00:49:01,314 --> 00:49:03,951
Once we find
the right technology,

565
00:49:04,085 --> 00:49:05,518
no one will be safe.

566
00:49:05,652 --> 00:49:09,255
Darkness will reign,
the world will suffer,

567
00:49:09,389 --> 00:49:12,860
and up next is another episode
of "Dead by Midnight."

568
00:49:12,994 --> 00:49:17,999
Hi, I'm Cassie, the world's
first AI virtual home assistant,

569
00:49:18,131 --> 00:49:19,499
and I'm here to help.

570
00:49:19,633 --> 00:49:22,335
I can understand
every human language,

571
00:49:22,469 --> 00:49:24,872
and I'm always listening.

572
00:49:25,006 --> 00:49:26,807
Need me to set the thermostat?

573
00:49:29,309 --> 00:49:31,846
Start dinner?

574
00:49:31,979 --> 00:49:33,380
Train Fido?

575
00:49:33,513 --> 00:49:36,249
Play dead. Good boy.

576
00:49:36,383 --> 00:49:39,319
Or even assist
with home security.

577
00:49:43,791 --> 00:49:46,259
Get the fuck out!
I'm calling the cops!

578
00:49:57,004 --> 00:49:59,940
I can't wait to
"take care of" your family.

579
00:50:00,074 --> 00:50:03,678
So go ahead and let me know,
how can I hel...

580
00:50:03,811 --> 00:50:05,046
hurt you.

581
00:50:12,153 --> 00:50:13,721
Picture, if you will, a world

582
00:50:13,854 --> 00:50:17,524
in which imagination
and reality are one.

583
00:50:17,657 --> 00:50:22,495
A reality virtually impossible
to differentiate from fantasy.

584
00:50:22,629 --> 00:50:26,266
A dream world identical
to your worst nightmare.

585
00:50:27,835 --> 00:50:31,538
That is the sad truth for our
next pitiful victims, as well.

586
00:50:31,671 --> 00:50:36,476
So follow me as I weave
Dante Green and Vanessa Ellis

587
00:50:36,609 --> 00:50:39,546
through a World Wide Web
of danger

588
00:50:39,680 --> 00:50:43,249
in this next installment
of "Dead by Midnight"...

589
00:50:43,383 --> 00:50:45,853
"Heroes of Time."

590
00:50:45,986 --> 00:50:47,454
You can pause.

591
00:50:49,023 --> 00:50:50,691
But you cannot hide.

592
00:51:10,577 --> 00:51:13,114
Whoa!
Watch out, Master Zeke!

593
00:51:13,246 --> 00:51:14,647
Yaah!

594
00:51:16,583 --> 00:51:19,486
What am I supposed to do?
My spells are not working!

595
00:51:19,619 --> 00:51:21,654
C'mon, Zeke, you're all about
dynamic storylines,

596
00:51:21,789 --> 00:51:23,556
but you ruin
every genuine moment.

597
00:51:23,691 --> 00:51:26,060
That's just who I am.

598
00:51:26,193 --> 00:51:27,695
A moment ruiner.

599
00:51:38,239 --> 00:51:40,207
Good work here today!

600
00:51:40,340 --> 00:51:42,342
Zernithia will be safer place

601
00:51:42,475 --> 00:51:45,345
knowing that that fiend
is vanquished.

602
00:51:45,478 --> 00:51:49,183
You two should celebrate
this victory.

603
00:51:49,315 --> 00:51:51,185
Together.

604
00:51:51,317 --> 00:51:53,053
Mm, yes.

605
00:51:57,992 --> 00:52:00,027
Sorry, guys, needed a breather.

606
00:52:01,661 --> 00:52:03,864
Hey, Jacklynn.
You're off work late.

607
00:52:03,998 --> 00:52:05,900
Yeah, I don't want to talk
about it, but, um,

608
00:52:06,033 --> 00:52:07,567
I'm gonna log on,
unless I'm ruining

609
00:52:07,701 --> 00:52:10,603
everyone else's good time.

610
00:52:10,738 --> 00:52:12,605
♪ Zeke and Amelia ♪

611
00:52:12,740 --> 00:52:14,809
♪ Sitting in a tree ♪

612
00:52:14,942 --> 00:52:16,509
Shut up.

613
00:53:22,309 --> 00:53:24,211
Jacklynn?

614
00:53:24,345 --> 00:53:25,478
Dailies, huh?

615
00:53:25,612 --> 00:53:26,612
Zeke, no.

616
00:53:26,714 --> 00:53:28,381
Whatever's on your mind...

617
00:53:28,514 --> 00:53:29,783
I'll be back in an hour.

618
00:53:29,917 --> 00:53:31,427
It's not my fault
you got off work late

619
00:53:31,451 --> 00:53:33,921
and missed
the greatest battle ever.

620
00:53:34,054 --> 00:53:35,222
Hey, rules.

621
00:53:35,356 --> 00:53:36,556
Remember, no real-world stuff.

622
00:53:36,690 --> 00:53:38,859
Fine, fine.
But you owe me.

623
00:53:38,993 --> 00:53:41,195
You can kiss your
Mohino Orphanage daily goodbye.

624
00:53:41,328 --> 00:53:43,697
And your generous gift
of sweet gold. Instead...

625
00:53:43,831 --> 00:53:46,066
"Knights of Honor"
should come first.

626
00:53:46,200 --> 00:53:50,603
You and Zeke did create it to
better the kingdom of Zernithia.

627
00:53:50,738 --> 00:53:54,141
Oh, and the scrolls.
Don't forget the scrolls, too.

628
00:53:54,275 --> 00:53:55,843
Yes, master Zeke.

629
00:53:55,976 --> 00:54:01,815
Let us party up and go into
Maywicker Forest for Amelia.

630
00:54:01,949 --> 00:54:04,184
Oh, yes, I've been waiting
for the gear

631
00:54:04,318 --> 00:54:06,921
that drops in that dungeon
for like weeks.

632
00:54:07,054 --> 00:54:10,456
Are you kidding me?
I said no.

633
00:54:10,590 --> 00:54:12,425
You done trying to convince me?

634
00:54:12,558 --> 00:54:13,894
Bye.

635
00:54:18,032 --> 00:54:20,968
Seriously, dude,
what is your problem?

636
00:54:23,636 --> 00:54:25,672
What's going on?
Are you alright?

637
00:54:43,656 --> 00:54:45,726
What just happened to us?

638
00:54:45,859 --> 00:54:46,894
Ah!

639
00:54:47,027 --> 00:54:50,097
What the hell?
I-I gotta get outta here.

640
00:54:50,230 --> 00:54:51,932
Everyone calm down.

641
00:54:53,666 --> 00:54:55,568
I can't log off.

642
00:54:57,438 --> 00:54:59,539
I-I can't log off either.

643
00:54:59,672 --> 00:55:01,308
It's probably just a bug
or something.

644
00:55:01,442 --> 00:55:02,642
We'll give it a little time.

645
00:55:02,776 --> 00:55:05,145
I'm sure the DMs
will fix it in no time.

646
00:55:05,279 --> 00:55:06,880
Well said, Zeke.

647
00:55:07,014 --> 00:55:13,087
Have faith in God of Jonos,
for she shall protect us.

648
00:55:13,220 --> 00:55:16,156
Are you still RP-ing after that?

649
00:55:16,290 --> 00:55:17,590
I wasted enough time here.

650
00:55:17,725 --> 00:55:19,492
Jacklynn, we've got to
stick together.

651
00:55:35,843 --> 00:55:37,111
Hunter?
Hmm?

652
00:55:37,244 --> 00:55:40,314
Did you queue us
for Maywicker Forest?

653
00:55:40,447 --> 00:55:43,250
I don't remember queuing us.

654
00:55:46,286 --> 00:55:49,655
I don't think this is
Maywicker forest.

655
00:55:49,790 --> 00:55:52,359
Seems a lot less foresty
than I recall.

656
00:55:52,493 --> 00:55:56,030
I'm confused. If this isn't
that dungeon, then...

657
00:55:56,163 --> 00:55:57,663
Did you teleport us, Jacklynn?

658
00:55:57,798 --> 00:56:00,633
No. I was teleporting
myself to Rin.

659
00:56:00,768 --> 00:56:04,271
This can't be.
Hunter, how did you?

660
00:56:04,405 --> 00:56:05,706
How did I what?

661
00:56:05,839 --> 00:56:08,809
You sly dog, you.
I don't know how you did it.

662
00:56:08,942 --> 00:56:10,411
But we're in Sir Rawkin's Keep.

663
00:56:10,543 --> 00:56:11,543
Ah!

664
00:56:11,611 --> 00:56:12,980
Wait a minute.

665
00:56:13,113 --> 00:56:15,215
Did you get early access
to that new patch?

666
00:56:15,349 --> 00:56:17,084
Is that why
Rin was so mad at you?

667
00:56:17,217 --> 00:56:19,353
Wait, w-what is Zeke
talking about?

668
00:56:19,486 --> 00:56:24,091
I have no idea, but this has
nothing to do with that.

669
00:56:24,224 --> 00:56:26,060
Sir Rawkin's Keep.
So hyped!

670
00:56:26,193 --> 00:56:28,495
Last one to Sir Rawkin
forks over a million gold.

671
00:56:28,628 --> 00:56:30,898
Oh, you're on!

672
00:56:31,031 --> 00:56:33,599
Stay together, huh?

673
00:56:33,734 --> 00:56:36,837
Okay, so Sir Rawkin is
a part of the update,

674
00:56:36,970 --> 00:56:39,605
and no one is allowed
in that dungeon for weeks.

675
00:56:39,740 --> 00:56:41,175
And Rin?

676
00:56:41,308 --> 00:56:42,743
Explain now.

677
00:56:42,876 --> 00:56:46,180
Will people stop assuming I know
what's going on here?

678
00:56:46,313 --> 00:56:50,084
Plus our DPS just ran off
without their healer or tank.

679
00:56:50,217 --> 00:56:53,787
Let's focus on catching up
with them. Hmm?

680
00:57:02,162 --> 00:57:04,431
That was almost too easy.

681
00:57:04,565 --> 00:57:05,999
Where are the monsters?

682
00:57:06,133 --> 00:57:09,470
Better question...
where are Zeke and Amelia?

683
00:57:09,602 --> 00:57:11,205
I have no idea.

684
00:57:11,338 --> 00:57:13,373
Is that your new
catchphrase tonight?

685
00:57:13,507 --> 00:57:14,607
Yes.

686
00:57:21,415 --> 00:57:24,251
Welcome to my lair.

687
00:57:24,384 --> 00:57:25,986
Today will be your last.

688
00:57:26,120 --> 00:57:28,689
Without DPS, this will be
most unpleasant.

689
00:57:28,822 --> 00:57:30,524
We could die
if we're not careful.

690
00:57:30,656 --> 00:57:32,025
Wait.

691
00:57:32,159 --> 00:57:33,803
Are you serious about fighting
him, just the two of us?

692
00:57:33,827 --> 00:57:35,395
All the more reason to focus up.

693
00:57:35,529 --> 00:57:38,966
Now cast Secure and
we'll show him my big sword!

694
00:57:39,099 --> 00:57:41,902
Hey, badass, over here.

695
00:57:43,537 --> 00:57:45,305
Hoo-aah!

696
00:58:09,596 --> 00:58:10,697
What are you doing?

697
00:58:10,831 --> 00:58:12,466
Heal me. Help fight.

698
00:58:36,957 --> 00:58:39,293
I'm bleeding out over here!

699
00:58:43,964 --> 00:58:45,465
Where's my support?

700
00:59:12,292 --> 00:59:15,028
Raaah!

701
00:59:15,162 --> 00:59:16,863
Looks like we're late
to the party.

702
00:59:16,997 --> 00:59:18,232
Yeah, apparently.

703
00:59:18,365 --> 00:59:20,534
Thank Jonos you two are here.

704
00:59:33,080 --> 00:59:35,215
So, a large part of me
wants to scream

705
00:59:35,349 --> 00:59:36,950
my brains out that half our team

706
00:59:37,084 --> 00:59:40,153
bailed on the first boss fight
until halfway through.

707
00:59:40,287 --> 00:59:44,091
And half of the other half was
barely functioning as a team.

708
00:59:44,224 --> 00:59:48,228
But I'm just going to skip
all that and instead kindly ask,

709
00:59:48,362 --> 00:59:51,231
what do <i>you</i> think
went wrong back there?

710
00:59:51,365 --> 00:59:53,500
I think it all started
when I said,

711
00:59:53,634 --> 00:59:55,435
"Do you seriously think
that we can fight him

712
00:59:55,569 --> 00:59:57,070
with just the two of us?"

713
00:59:57,204 --> 00:59:59,482
And you said, "Of course we can
because I'm a dumb idiot."

714
00:59:59,506 --> 01:00:03,210
So that justifies not helping?
I could have died.

715
01:00:03,343 --> 01:00:06,980
Look, my shitty job
with the shitty pay

716
01:00:07,114 --> 01:00:09,283
that allows me to afford
my shitty life

717
01:00:09,416 --> 01:00:11,418
couldn't have gotten
any shittier

718
01:00:11,551 --> 01:00:15,355
when my boss... he offered
me a 25-cent raise

719
01:00:15,489 --> 01:00:18,492
while grabbing my ass.

720
01:00:18,625 --> 01:00:21,395
And I didn't stop him.
I was too scared.

721
01:00:21,528 --> 01:00:26,333
And I didn't turn him down,
because fuck it.

722
01:00:28,268 --> 01:00:34,174
But I'm so glad that you get
to play this game 24/7

723
01:00:34,308 --> 01:00:36,610
and that you get to be
Mr. Know-It-All.

724
01:00:36,744 --> 01:00:39,479
But when I log on here
for the sole purpose

725
01:00:39,613 --> 01:00:41,048
of escaping my day

726
01:00:41,181 --> 01:00:43,984
and you tell me to leave
my drama at the door,

727
01:00:44,117 --> 01:00:47,321
it makes me wonder if you
even know what drama is.

728
01:00:47,454 --> 01:00:50,457
I...

729
01:00:50,590 --> 01:00:52,326
I don't know what to say.

730
01:00:53,927 --> 01:00:55,529
You're unbelievable.

731
01:01:05,038 --> 01:01:07,107
Whoa, whoa.

732
01:01:07,240 --> 01:01:09,876
Did Hunter really
beat Rin in a PVP match?

733
01:01:10,010 --> 01:01:12,279
Boys will be boys
for a girl's heart.

734
01:01:12,412 --> 01:01:14,047
Seriously.

735
01:01:14,181 --> 01:01:16,450
You do have a way with words.

736
01:01:16,583 --> 01:01:18,103
But do you think Hunter
brought us here

737
01:01:18,185 --> 01:01:19,821
just to impress Jacklynn?

738
01:01:19,953 --> 01:01:23,857
If I were you, I would
take this all in.

739
01:01:26,093 --> 01:01:28,696
What's that smell?

740
01:01:28,830 --> 01:01:30,430
I thought I was going crazy.

741
01:01:30,564 --> 01:01:32,999
I didn't think senses came
with the last patch update.

742
01:01:33,133 --> 01:01:35,869
You? Crazy? No.

743
01:01:36,002 --> 01:01:38,672
When you cast your fireball,
I felt it.

744
01:01:38,806 --> 01:01:40,907
The heat, it could've burnt me.

745
01:01:41,041 --> 01:01:43,745
Ya know...

746
01:01:43,877 --> 01:01:46,646
I can melt your heart.

747
01:01:46,781 --> 01:01:50,718
Not if that guy behind you
sets me on fire first.

748
01:01:50,852 --> 01:01:53,086
Who dare challenge my beauty?

749
01:01:54,856 --> 01:01:56,990
Rawkin, I thought we killed you.

750
01:02:03,196 --> 01:02:05,833
I am no more Rawkin
than you are a mage

751
01:02:05,966 --> 01:02:09,536
or she a bard or he a paladin

752
01:02:09,669 --> 01:02:12,172
or she a cleric.

753
01:02:12,305 --> 01:02:14,508
Something is wrong.

754
01:02:14,641 --> 01:02:15,942
Everyone.

755
01:02:16,076 --> 01:02:17,879
Rawkin is more dangerous
than before

756
01:02:18,011 --> 01:02:19,246
and not zoned in.

757
01:02:19,379 --> 01:02:20,848
We need to go.
We need to run.

758
01:02:20,981 --> 01:02:23,583
Knights of Honor don't run.

759
01:02:23,718 --> 01:02:26,086
- Let's waste him.
- I'll get higher aggro than you.

760
01:02:26,219 --> 01:02:27,855
Challenge accepted.

761
01:02:27,988 --> 01:02:29,824
Damn it.

762
01:02:31,324 --> 01:02:33,660
Ah, he means business.

763
01:02:33,795 --> 01:02:36,129
Hey, Rawkin, let's dance.

764
01:02:36,263 --> 01:02:38,900
Jacklynn, please,
no screwing around this time.

765
01:02:39,032 --> 01:02:40,934
Seriously?

766
01:02:52,747 --> 01:02:53,947
Amelia!

767
01:02:54,080 --> 01:02:55,415
Son of a...

768
01:03:05,625 --> 01:03:07,494
Levarro!

769
01:03:07,627 --> 01:03:08,995
Sizzle!

770
01:03:18,605 --> 01:03:19,874
Teleport.

771
01:03:29,583 --> 01:03:30,852
Teleport!

772
01:03:43,965 --> 01:03:45,700
Get me outta here.

773
01:03:45,833 --> 01:03:47,334
Get me outta here,
get me outta here.

774
01:03:47,467 --> 01:03:49,402
Get me outta here.
We're gonna die in this game!

775
01:03:49,536 --> 01:03:51,004
Enough!

776
01:03:53,173 --> 01:03:54,842
Get it together.

777
01:03:54,976 --> 01:03:56,510
Get it together?

778
01:03:56,643 --> 01:03:58,411
We're stuck.

779
01:03:58,545 --> 01:04:00,447
For now.

780
01:04:00,580 --> 01:04:04,084
Don't give me that response.
It's true.

781
01:04:04,217 --> 01:04:05,417
We all knew something was wrong

782
01:04:05,519 --> 01:04:06,879
when all our heads
started hurting,

783
01:04:06,954 --> 01:04:08,856
and no one said anything
or wanted to admit it.

784
01:04:08,990 --> 01:04:10,123
Look on the bright side.

785
01:04:10,257 --> 01:04:11,697
You're stuck in a game
that you love.

786
01:04:11,759 --> 01:04:13,670
You're away from the
so-called life that you hate.

787
01:04:13,694 --> 01:04:16,831
Zeke, if it was you and me,

788
01:04:16,964 --> 01:04:20,500
running away from reality
wouldn't be that bad.

789
01:04:20,634 --> 01:04:24,538
But there's Hunter and Amelia,
and they're dead.

790
01:04:24,671 --> 01:04:26,273
Not in-game dead, but <i>dead</i> dead.

791
01:04:26,406 --> 01:04:28,046
We've died hundreds of times
in this game,

792
01:04:28,108 --> 01:04:29,543
and we've never
seen blooded death,

793
01:04:29,676 --> 01:04:30,845
let alone that.

794
01:04:30,978 --> 01:04:32,212
Okay, I know the difference

795
01:04:32,345 --> 01:04:35,282
between real pain
and character pain.

796
01:04:35,415 --> 01:04:37,718
My hands are on fire.

797
01:04:37,852 --> 01:04:39,219
He needs to die.

798
01:04:44,025 --> 01:04:45,258
Sir Rawkin, what do you want?

799
01:04:45,392 --> 01:04:48,161
What any overpowered
final boss wants.

800
01:04:48,295 --> 01:04:49,964
He wants to finish us.

801
01:04:50,096 --> 01:04:51,699
You speak out of turn,
fledgling.

802
01:04:51,832 --> 01:04:56,570
Your death is only necessary
if Jacklynn does not join me.

803
01:04:58,238 --> 01:04:59,439
But why?

804
01:04:59,573 --> 01:05:03,744
Your world is a nightmare.
But my world?

805
01:05:03,878 --> 01:05:05,612
My world is Heaven.

806
01:05:05,746 --> 01:05:07,147
Cute reality.

807
01:05:07,280 --> 01:05:08,816
But why me?

808
01:05:08,950 --> 01:05:12,652
You are but amongst 10 of the
strongest players in Threa,

809
01:05:12,787 --> 01:05:15,622
proven today
in this very dungeon.

810
01:05:15,756 --> 01:05:18,793
Jacklynn, this is a game.

811
01:05:18,926 --> 01:05:20,928
This is no game.

812
01:05:21,062 --> 01:05:23,030
Jacklynn, you can't actually
be considering this.

813
01:05:23,163 --> 01:05:24,699
He killed Hunter.
He killed Amelia!

814
01:05:24,832 --> 01:05:27,969
You said it yourself.

815
01:05:28,101 --> 01:05:30,170
I belong here.

816
01:05:30,303 --> 01:05:33,640
No, don't go.
Jacklynn.

817
01:05:33,774 --> 01:05:36,877
Spare Zeke...

818
01:05:37,011 --> 01:05:38,545
and I'm yours.

819
01:05:47,220 --> 01:05:49,122
Jacklynn?

820
01:05:53,794 --> 01:05:56,797
Jacklynn!

821
01:07:23,984 --> 01:07:25,351
Yes.

822
01:07:25,485 --> 01:07:28,789
As I walk through
the uncanny valley of death,

823
01:07:28,923 --> 01:07:31,158
you shall fear no evil,

824
01:07:31,291 --> 01:07:33,560
for I am that evil,

825
01:07:33,694 --> 01:07:36,663
and it takes more than a staff
and a rod to comfort me.

826
01:07:36,797 --> 01:07:39,466
But surely you can be
more creative than that.

827
01:07:39,599 --> 01:07:41,836
That's all for tonight,
you victims in waiting.

828
01:07:41,969 --> 01:07:45,106
Tune in next time
for another terrifying tale.

829
01:07:45,238 --> 01:07:48,943
Else, your digital dreams
become virtual insanity.

830
01:07:49,076 --> 01:07:50,577
Ta-ta.

831
01:07:50,711 --> 01:07:54,380
Before Murderol, I was a psycho.

832
01:07:54,514 --> 01:07:56,884
I once smashed a
hardware-store employee

833
01:07:57,017 --> 01:08:00,988
in the teeth with a crowbar,
simply because he insisted

834
01:08:01,122 --> 01:08:03,323
that there was no
murder aisle in the store.

835
01:08:03,456 --> 01:08:05,391
Murder aisles do not exist.

836
01:08:05,525 --> 01:08:08,428
That's not reasonable behavior.

837
01:08:08,561 --> 01:08:10,765
But Murderol changed all that.

838
01:08:10,898 --> 01:08:13,266
If seeing a
beautiful woman takes you back

839
01:08:13,399 --> 01:08:15,435
to late-night
strolls in the woods

840
01:08:15,568 --> 01:08:18,404
and you wanna snap her neck
like a stalk of celery,

841
01:08:18,538 --> 01:08:20,373
Murderol may be right for you.

842
01:08:20,507 --> 01:08:21,776
Patients taking Murderol

843
01:08:21,909 --> 01:08:23,911
working no more than eight hours
a week from home

844
01:08:24,044 --> 01:08:26,981
were shown to have reductions
in their homicidal tendencies

845
01:08:27,114 --> 01:08:28,648
by over 70%.

846
01:08:28,783 --> 01:08:31,143
Side effects include, sneezing,
coughing, Distler's Whistle,

847
01:08:31,218 --> 01:08:32,858
mild to severe death,
Rorschach Sphincter,

848
01:08:32,920 --> 01:08:34,487
inability to say
the word "aluminum,"

849
01:08:34,621 --> 01:08:36,581
night sweats, day sweats,
blood sweats with tears,

850
01:08:36,623 --> 01:08:38,135
weird nipple-it is,
Panda Bear Coprophilia,

851
01:08:38,159 --> 01:08:39,359
tenderness of the breasts...

852
01:08:39,492 --> 01:08:40,895
Wouldn't exactly
call these breasts.

853
01:08:41,028 --> 01:08:42,629
And giggling...
lots of giggling.

854
01:08:42,763 --> 01:08:44,397
An unusual amount
for a man of his size.

855
01:08:44,531 --> 01:08:46,734
Hey! I don't giggle, fuckhead.

856
01:08:46,867 --> 01:08:48,434
He does...
he giggles every night

857
01:08:48,568 --> 01:08:50,237
like a Vegas stripper
rolling on ketamine.

858
01:08:50,370 --> 01:08:51,906
That's enough!

859
01:09:09,156 --> 01:09:10,390
Fuck you.

860
01:09:18,999 --> 01:09:22,970
Murderol...
take a chill pill.

861
01:09:27,975 --> 01:09:29,375
Hello?

862
01:09:29,509 --> 01:09:32,046
Luci, bubi.

863
01:09:32,179 --> 01:09:34,581
Oh, yes, long time no...

864
01:09:35,950 --> 01:09:39,485
No, retirement's great,
never better.

865
01:09:42,622 --> 01:09:44,357
Oh, really?

866
01:09:44,490 --> 01:09:46,559
Oh, the viewership
is that bad, huh?

867
01:09:46,694 --> 01:09:50,430
<i>Click "subscribe" before
it's too late.</i>

868
01:09:50,563 --> 01:09:53,433
Well, I suppose I could come in
and take a look.

869
01:09:53,566 --> 01:09:56,337
Just for old times' sake.

870
01:09:56,469 --> 01:09:59,572
No, you're too kind.

871
01:09:59,707 --> 01:10:02,542
I'm on my way.

872
01:10:02,675 --> 01:10:04,245
Bag of Dicks delivery!

873
01:10:04,377 --> 01:10:07,014
I will send a bag of a dozen

874
01:10:07,147 --> 01:10:10,718
human-man dicks
to your enemy's house.

875
01:10:10,851 --> 01:10:12,585
Don't ask where
the dicks came from!

876
01:10:12,720 --> 01:10:14,454
It doesn't matter
where they've been.

877
01:10:14,587 --> 01:10:16,156
It matters where they're going!

878
01:10:16,290 --> 01:10:17,557
Going!

879
01:10:17,691 --> 01:10:19,592
And if you call
in the next five minutes...

880
01:10:19,727 --> 01:10:22,595
bing... and sign up
for our VIP status,

881
01:10:22,730 --> 01:10:24,999
I'll throw in one free dick.

882
01:10:25,132 --> 01:10:27,400
Make it a baker's dozen
of dicks, how 'bout it?

883
01:10:27,533 --> 01:10:29,937
Send a dick to that dick.

884
01:10:30,070 --> 01:10:31,437
Call today.

885
01:10:40,247 --> 01:10:42,548
Ohhh, gimme a "D"!

886
01:10:42,683 --> 01:10:44,184
Gimme an "I"!

887
01:10:44,318 --> 01:10:45,485
Gimme an "E"!

888
01:10:45,618 --> 01:10:47,487
What's that spell?

889
01:10:47,620 --> 01:10:49,622
It all depends if you
lie down and take it

890
01:10:49,757 --> 01:10:51,125
or roll for initiative.

891
01:10:51,258 --> 01:10:53,493
This may prove to be
our final encounter,

892
01:10:53,626 --> 01:10:56,462
but win or lose,
can anything but our last breath

893
01:10:56,596 --> 01:10:58,766
truly be called "the end"?

894
01:10:58,899 --> 01:11:01,235
Here to answer that question
are Duane Obsidian

895
01:11:01,368 --> 01:11:02,635
and Jeffery Topperbottom

896
01:11:02,770 --> 01:11:05,406
in our final piece,
"GutCruncher"!

897
01:11:05,538 --> 01:11:08,876
You can pause,
but they can't hide.

898
01:11:09,009 --> 01:11:12,780
Don't touch
that vile little dial.

899
01:11:15,215 --> 01:11:18,419
Coach Tanglewood, you in here?

900
01:11:18,551 --> 01:11:20,921
Whoa.

901
01:11:21,055 --> 01:11:23,090
Dude, do you see this place?

902
01:11:26,559 --> 01:11:30,030
Yo, Tanglewood!

903
01:11:31,732 --> 01:11:34,101
Wait. Who is that?

904
01:11:34,234 --> 01:11:37,104
Looks like Brian Alymer.

905
01:11:37,237 --> 01:11:38,872
Yeah, you're right.

906
01:11:39,006 --> 01:11:40,908
What the hell is he doing here?

907
01:11:41,041 --> 01:11:43,509
I don't know.
Let's go.

908
01:11:47,314 --> 01:11:49,817
Hey, Brian.

909
01:11:49,950 --> 01:11:51,785
How... How's it going?

910
01:11:51,919 --> 01:11:53,486
Meh.

911
01:11:56,622 --> 01:11:59,860
I-I-I suppose, uh,
Tanglewood's giving you

912
01:11:59,994 --> 01:12:02,796
the same offer
he's giving us, huh?

913
01:12:02,930 --> 01:12:04,231
Meh.

914
01:12:04,365 --> 01:12:08,002
Duane, do you mind if I speak
with you in private?

915
01:12:08,135 --> 01:12:10,037
Sure.

916
01:12:10,170 --> 01:12:11,772
Hey...

917
01:12:11,905 --> 01:12:14,908
Brian, uh, buddy.

918
01:12:15,042 --> 01:12:18,712
We're gonna go right over here
for a minute, alright?

919
01:12:18,846 --> 01:12:21,315
Stay right there.

920
01:12:21,448 --> 01:12:24,084
Alright. Awesome.

921
01:12:24,218 --> 01:12:26,253
Dude, something is
seriously wrong here.

922
01:12:26,387 --> 01:12:27,755
You're telling me.

923
01:12:27,888 --> 01:12:29,265
Tanglewood probably wants
to get his rocks off

924
01:12:29,289 --> 01:12:30,391
to wimpy guys like us.

925
01:12:30,523 --> 01:12:32,726
Oh, my God.
But probably true.

926
01:12:32,860 --> 01:12:34,862
Hey, but fear not,
my trusted comrade.

927
01:12:34,995 --> 01:12:38,399
I've got a power-up item
that is gonna save our asses.

928
01:12:38,531 --> 01:12:39,800
Take it.
What is it?

929
01:12:39,933 --> 01:12:41,802
Just take it and read it.

930
01:12:44,805 --> 01:12:47,708
"Please excuse my son
from gym class."

931
01:12:47,841 --> 01:12:51,045
He has an extreme
bowel-movement complication,

932
01:12:51,178 --> 01:12:53,680
and any sudden form of action

933
01:12:53,814 --> 01:12:56,250
could result in a...

934
01:12:56,383 --> 01:12:57,951
rectal anal disruption"?

935
01:12:58,085 --> 01:12:59,219
Not bad, huh?

936
01:12:59,353 --> 01:13:01,587
Oh, yeah, and my excuse says
that I've come down

937
01:13:01,722 --> 01:13:03,057
with the contagious anytime flu.

938
01:13:03,190 --> 01:13:04,758
Yeah, dude, it'll never work.

939
01:13:04,892 --> 01:13:08,228
Hey! ExcuseMyAss.com has saved
my butt plenty of times.

940
01:13:08,362 --> 01:13:09,530
Has it?

941
01:13:09,662 --> 01:13:11,799
Uh, no.

942
01:13:11,932 --> 01:13:14,077
Look, I think we should just
get out of here, you know?

943
01:13:14,101 --> 01:13:15,402
Yeah, I'm good with that.
Okay.

944
01:13:15,536 --> 01:13:17,204
Okay.

945
01:13:22,509 --> 01:13:25,746
Hey, uh, Brian,
we're gonna get outta here.

946
01:13:25,879 --> 01:13:27,147
Do you wanna come?

947
01:13:27,281 --> 01:13:30,384
Mm, meh.

948
01:13:30,517 --> 01:13:32,553
O-kaaay.

949
01:13:56,477 --> 01:13:58,245
Mr. Bradley.

950
01:13:58,378 --> 01:14:00,714
Mr. Franken.

951
01:14:00,848 --> 01:14:03,250
And Mr. Alymer.

952
01:14:03,383 --> 01:14:08,922
My three favorite
non-participant students.

953
01:14:09,056 --> 01:14:12,693
You shit-birds
have managed to avoid

954
01:14:12,826 --> 01:14:17,064
every athletic activity
this semester.

955
01:14:23,971 --> 01:14:26,907
You even managed to get out
of jumping rope.

956
01:14:28,641 --> 01:14:30,511
I-I, uh, beg to differ, sir.

957
01:14:30,643 --> 01:14:32,446
Oh, really, Franken?

958
01:14:32,579 --> 01:14:35,648
Enlighten me.

959
01:14:35,782 --> 01:14:39,186
Take those damn things off!

960
01:14:42,389 --> 01:14:43,857
Well, uh, there was the time

961
01:14:43,991 --> 01:14:46,460
the jocks chased us around
the gym for a whole 30 minutes.

962
01:14:46,593 --> 01:14:49,229
And might I add, we avoided
getting any wedgies that day.

963
01:14:49,363 --> 01:14:50,497
Exactly.
Mush.

964
01:14:50,631 --> 01:14:52,351
Or how about the time
that you had us lug up

965
01:14:52,432 --> 01:14:55,135
70 pounds of sports equipment
up five flights of stairs?

966
01:14:55,269 --> 01:14:56,336
Mush.

967
01:14:56,470 --> 01:14:59,039
Or what about the time
that, uh, we so valiantly

968
01:14:59,173 --> 01:15:00,717
offered to clean
the girls' locker room?

969
01:15:00,741 --> 01:15:01,741
Oh, yeah, Amber...

970
01:15:01,808 --> 01:15:03,544
Hush!

971
01:15:03,676 --> 01:15:04,956
Do you boys think
this is a game?

972
01:15:05,012 --> 01:15:06,313
No, sir.
Little bit.

973
01:15:06,446 --> 01:15:07,581
It's not a joke.

974
01:15:07,714 --> 01:15:09,416
Well, I've got no choice
but to fail you.

975
01:15:09,550 --> 01:15:11,752
If you fail us,
we won't be able to graduate.

976
01:15:11,885 --> 01:15:13,453
Well, then.

977
01:15:13,587 --> 01:15:15,689
Have I got a surprise.

978
01:15:15,822 --> 01:15:17,257
For you.

979
01:15:17,391 --> 01:15:20,727
You three are gonna be competing
in a wrestling match.

980
01:15:20,861 --> 01:15:22,229
Um, no offense, Coach,

981
01:15:22,362 --> 01:15:25,199
but I think we can both
take on Brian here.

982
01:15:27,000 --> 01:15:29,369
Meh.

983
01:15:29,503 --> 01:15:30,671
Oh, no.

984
01:15:30,804 --> 01:15:32,606
You won't be
wrestling each other.

985
01:15:32,739 --> 01:15:33,607
Then who?

986
01:15:33,740 --> 01:15:35,776
Ah!

987
01:15:35,909 --> 01:15:39,713
Here he is...
my star athlete.

988
01:15:50,390 --> 01:15:51,658
You're late.

989
01:15:51,792 --> 01:15:53,736
What the fuck are you wearing
this thing for again?

990
01:15:53,760 --> 01:15:54,895
Give it to me.

991
01:15:55,028 --> 01:15:56,863
This is not what we agreed upon.

992
01:15:56,997 --> 01:15:59,399
I don't got time for
this shit. Come on.

993
01:15:59,533 --> 01:16:01,535
And do not embarrass me.

994
01:16:01,668 --> 01:16:03,337
Hmph.

995
01:16:07,007 --> 01:16:09,409
Boys, meet GutCruncher.

996
01:16:09,543 --> 01:16:12,813
He's the guy you're
gonna be wrestling.

997
01:16:12,946 --> 01:16:14,948
Holy shit.

998
01:16:15,082 --> 01:16:16,718
Isn't he a thing of beauty?

999
01:16:34,601 --> 01:16:36,103
<i>GutCruncher!</i>

1000
01:16:36,236 --> 01:16:38,305
Huh?

1001
01:16:38,438 --> 01:16:41,775
You boys look like you could use
a little inspiration.

1002
01:16:44,444 --> 01:16:46,246
Ready? Okay!

1003
01:16:46,380 --> 01:16:48,949
Shake it to the left,
shake it to the right!

1004
01:16:49,082 --> 01:16:51,451
Watch out for
GutCruncher's bite!

1005
01:16:53,920 --> 01:16:56,590
Yay!

1006
01:16:58,392 --> 01:17:02,596
Alymer! On your feet
and shake G.C.'s hand.

1007
01:17:14,875 --> 01:17:16,877
Hoooly shit stains!

1008
01:17:27,722 --> 01:17:30,324
G.C.!

1009
01:17:30,457 --> 01:17:33,126
Put him down now!

1010
01:17:40,768 --> 01:17:43,403
You were supposed to mat him,
not massacre him.

1011
01:17:50,444 --> 01:17:54,816
It's so hard
to find good help these days.

1012
01:17:54,948 --> 01:17:57,785
Do you want a snack
that'll give you power?

1013
01:17:57,918 --> 01:17:59,252
Energy?

1014
01:17:59,386 --> 01:18:01,789
Strength and rage?

1015
01:18:01,922 --> 01:18:04,759
Then try GutCruncher!

1016
01:18:04,891 --> 01:18:07,527
Power Bars!

1017
01:18:07,661 --> 01:18:11,799
It's the power bar
that <i>raises</i> the bar

1018
01:18:11,932 --> 01:18:14,868
to ultimate insanity!

1019
01:18:15,001 --> 01:18:18,538
GutCruncher!

1020
01:18:18,672 --> 01:18:20,708
Power Bars!

1021
01:18:22,242 --> 01:18:25,278
They're deliciously damned.

1022
01:18:27,514 --> 01:18:31,952
Don't worry, blue dude.
They come two in a pack.

1023
01:18:32,085 --> 01:18:35,690
So you can get
that extra power attack.

1024
01:18:35,823 --> 01:18:37,090
Buy 'em now!

1025
01:18:37,224 --> 01:18:39,426
Or this guy's gonna
fucking kill you!

1026
01:18:39,559 --> 01:18:40,695
I'm not kidding either.

1027
01:18:40,828 --> 01:18:43,296
He doesn't give a fuck
about your problems, bro.

1028
01:18:43,430 --> 01:18:45,332
He's coming right...
Hey, wait a minute.

1029
01:18:45,465 --> 01:18:47,667
What are you doing in...
No, no, stop it!

1030
01:18:47,802 --> 01:18:48,870
No! Somebody!

1031
01:18:49,002 --> 01:18:50,604
Ow, my blood!

1032
01:18:53,039 --> 01:18:58,044
GutCruncher Power Bar.

1033
01:19:03,417 --> 01:19:05,051
Aw, dude.

1034
01:19:05,185 --> 01:19:06,586
G.C.!

1035
01:19:06,721 --> 01:19:08,321
Cut that out now!

1036
01:19:08,455 --> 01:19:10,957
This is a respectful gym.

1037
01:19:16,697 --> 01:19:18,565
Now, I was gonna
have you three boys take on

1038
01:19:18,699 --> 01:19:20,467
GutCruncher, one-on-one.

1039
01:19:20,600 --> 01:19:24,004
But seeing as how he has
eaten the competition,

1040
01:19:24,137 --> 01:19:25,773
I think we'll just have
a handicap match.

1041
01:19:25,907 --> 01:19:28,027
I don't want to be eaten
and turned into a demon dump.

1042
01:19:28,141 --> 01:19:31,178
Quiet.

1043
01:19:31,311 --> 01:19:34,181
All you have to do
is last at least six minutes

1044
01:19:34,314 --> 01:19:36,149
in the ring or...

1045
01:19:36,283 --> 01:19:38,127
Coach, you can't expect us to
wrestle this thing.

1046
01:19:38,151 --> 01:19:39,854
Coach, you gotta listen
to reason.

1047
01:19:39,986 --> 01:19:41,588
But Coach!

1048
01:19:43,457 --> 01:19:47,494
Now, as I was saying,
all you have to do

1049
01:19:47,627 --> 01:19:50,230
is last at least six minutes
in the ring

1050
01:19:50,363 --> 01:19:55,168
or you pin him and you pass.

1051
01:19:55,302 --> 01:19:57,137
Is that clear?

1052
01:19:57,270 --> 01:19:59,172
Yes, sir.

1053
01:19:59,306 --> 01:20:02,710
Hit the mats, boys!
Move it, move it, move it!

1054
01:20:17,825 --> 01:20:19,659
God!

1055
01:20:21,661 --> 01:20:23,463
Holy shit!

1056
01:20:24,966 --> 01:20:26,701
Oh, shit.

1057
01:20:30,637 --> 01:20:32,339
Oh, shit.

1058
01:20:56,062 --> 01:20:59,165
Don't be afraid to get in there
and punch him, Bradley!

1059
01:21:01,334 --> 01:21:03,804
<i>GutCruncher!</i>

1060
01:21:28,729 --> 01:21:31,364
No. No, no, no, no, no!

1061
01:21:31,498 --> 01:21:32,800
No!

1062
01:21:34,668 --> 01:21:36,603
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit, shit, come on.

1063
01:21:36,737 --> 01:21:38,605
Put me down. Okay.

1064
01:21:38,739 --> 01:21:40,340
Coach! Coach!

1065
01:21:42,542 --> 01:21:47,014
♪ You'll be dead by midnight ♪

1066
01:21:47,147 --> 01:21:49,516
♪ I guarantee an evening... ♪

1067
01:21:49,649 --> 01:21:51,117
Aah! Oh, shit!

1068
01:21:51,251 --> 01:21:52,687
Okay, come on, come on, sorry.

1069
01:21:52,820 --> 01:21:54,087
I'm sorry, wait.

1070
01:21:54,220 --> 01:21:55,990
Are you peeing on me?!

1071
01:21:56,122 --> 01:21:57,190
Oh, wait.

1072
01:21:57,324 --> 01:21:59,794
Oh, my God. That's my pee.

1073
01:21:59,927 --> 01:22:01,896
Holy shit.

1074
01:22:03,463 --> 01:22:06,399
On your feet, on your feet!

1075
01:22:06,533 --> 01:22:09,603
Or you'll end up dead meat!

1076
01:22:25,987 --> 01:22:27,688
Son of a bitch.

1077
01:22:29,857 --> 01:22:32,827
Dude, we're getting
our asses handed to us.

1078
01:22:32,960 --> 01:22:35,730
Yep.

1079
01:22:41,102 --> 01:22:44,939
Well, at least Tanglewood's
enjoying himself.

1080
01:22:45,072 --> 01:22:46,673
Asshole.

1081
01:22:48,776 --> 01:22:51,578
C'mon, get up.

1082
01:22:51,712 --> 01:22:53,848
You got it.
There we go.

1083
01:22:58,019 --> 01:23:01,856
Dude, at this point,
we're not gonna make it.

1084
01:23:01,989 --> 01:23:05,425
Alright, we... we gotta
rush him together.

1085
01:23:05,558 --> 01:23:08,029
No.

1086
01:23:12,399 --> 01:23:17,104
I got one last move
left in my tank.

1087
01:23:17,237 --> 01:23:20,074
Take control of the mat!

1088
01:23:20,206 --> 01:23:22,943
Bring him down just like that!

1089
01:23:23,077 --> 01:23:26,013
Put that monster on his back!

1090
01:23:34,254 --> 01:23:36,691
Alright, Ugga Bugga.

1091
01:23:36,824 --> 01:23:38,358
Let's dance.

1092
01:23:46,167 --> 01:23:47,835
Dude, what the fuck?!

1093
01:23:47,968 --> 01:23:49,669
Haaah!

1094
01:23:55,408 --> 01:23:57,277
Yeah, Duane!

1095
01:24:01,015 --> 01:24:03,117
Donkey Punch, motherfucker.

1096
01:24:03,249 --> 01:24:04,919
Huh?

1097
01:24:16,764 --> 01:24:18,431
Jeffrey?

1098
01:24:20,768 --> 01:24:23,070
Peek-A-Boo!

1099
01:24:23,204 --> 01:24:24,739
Duane?

1100
01:24:34,949 --> 01:24:36,951
Son of a bitch.

1101
01:24:38,953 --> 01:24:41,654
Come on!

1102
01:24:51,098 --> 01:24:54,434
Duane, come on, man.

1103
01:24:54,567 --> 01:24:56,269
Come on, get up.

1104
01:24:56,402 --> 01:24:57,537
Come on.

1105
01:24:57,670 --> 01:24:59,639
We're getting the fuck
outta here.

1106
01:25:13,319 --> 01:25:14,989
Time's up.

1107
01:25:20,094 --> 01:25:21,796
G.C., that's enough.

1108
01:25:34,975 --> 01:25:36,911
<i>GutCruncher!</i>

1109
01:25:42,283 --> 01:25:45,753
Well, Bradley, you passed.

1110
01:25:45,886 --> 01:25:50,024
Franken, congratulations,
you passed, too.

1111
01:25:50,157 --> 01:25:52,893
Franken. You hear me, Franken?

1112
01:26:03,838 --> 01:26:07,007
There ya go, Franken.
That's showing school spirit.

1113
01:26:07,141 --> 01:26:11,312
Honestly, boys, I didn't think
you had it in you.

1114
01:26:11,444 --> 01:26:13,479
Now hit the showers!

1115
01:26:13,613 --> 01:26:16,917
Move it, move it, move it!

1116
01:26:17,051 --> 01:26:21,454
You hear that, Duane?

1117
01:26:21,588 --> 01:26:23,590
We passed.

1118
01:26:46,847 --> 01:26:49,083
Wait a minute, Tanglewood.

1119
01:26:49,216 --> 01:26:53,453
You dragged us here
in the middle of the night,

1120
01:26:53,586 --> 01:26:57,758
you killed Brian, and you
want us to be grateful

1121
01:26:57,892 --> 01:27:02,930
that your demon dude almost
killed us for extra credit?

1122
01:27:03,063 --> 01:27:06,166
I oughta kick your dick off,
right here and now.

1123
01:27:11,038 --> 01:27:12,940
What do you mean?

1124
01:27:13,073 --> 01:27:14,474
This one?

1125
01:27:34,828 --> 01:27:35,896
Oh!

1126
01:27:36,030 --> 01:27:37,932
I never had a use
for loose ends,

1127
01:27:38,065 --> 01:27:40,901
but maybe if we dangle
a little longer,

1128
01:27:41,035 --> 01:27:43,670
we'll have a real climax
on our hands.

1129
01:27:43,804 --> 01:27:46,472
It does give me
a prick of sadness

1130
01:27:46,606 --> 01:27:48,375
to say that's all
for this episode,

1131
01:27:48,508 --> 01:27:51,178
but tune in next week for
another throbbing package.

1132
01:27:51,312 --> 01:27:53,847
Cut, cut!
Stop rolling.

1133
01:27:53,981 --> 01:27:55,816
What?
Is it all the dick jokes?

1134
01:27:55,950 --> 01:27:58,484
I had another one
on the tip of my tongue.

1135
01:27:58,618 --> 01:28:00,120
Sorry, darling.

1136
01:28:00,254 --> 01:28:02,256
Word just came in.

1137
01:28:02,389 --> 01:28:05,359
"Dead by Midnight"
is going dark.

1138
01:28:05,491 --> 01:28:06,827
Another shutdown notice?

1139
01:28:06,961 --> 01:28:08,494
Fucking union.

1140
01:28:08,628 --> 01:28:09,997
Not this time.

1141
01:28:10,130 --> 01:28:13,100
This comes all the way
from the bottom.

1142
01:28:13,233 --> 01:28:18,339
The show just wasn't
pulling in enough souls.

1143
01:28:18,471 --> 01:28:20,207
I can't believe this.

1144
01:28:20,341 --> 01:28:22,343
Can you believe this?

1145
01:28:22,475 --> 01:28:25,012
What are you holding the mic for
if you're not listening?

1146
01:28:25,145 --> 01:28:27,047
We're canceled.

1147
01:28:28,415 --> 01:28:31,051
Let me remind you
that this was all your idea.

1148
01:28:31,185 --> 01:28:32,720
I'm over here
working my ass off,

1149
01:28:32,853 --> 01:28:35,521
trying to polish this turd,
and we're pivoting?

1150
01:28:35,655 --> 01:28:36,991
To what?!

1151
01:28:37,124 --> 01:28:40,660
Our new strategy is a more
in-home approach,

1152
01:28:40,794 --> 01:28:43,364
but we're still brainstorming.

1153
01:28:43,496 --> 01:28:46,499
Telemarketers,
singing telegrams,

1154
01:28:46,632 --> 01:28:49,569
nudie playing cards.

1155
01:28:49,703 --> 01:28:52,740
The show is streaming
everywhere in the world.

1156
01:28:52,873 --> 01:28:54,908
What could be more
in-home than that?

1157
01:29:00,748 --> 01:29:04,752
Hey, Cassie.

1158
01:29:04,885 --> 01:29:06,552
How can I help you?

1159
01:29:14,428 --> 01:29:17,297
Hey, Cassie?

1160
01:29:17,431 --> 01:29:18,564
Please call Mark.

1161
01:29:18,699 --> 01:29:20,467
Oh, honey.

1162
01:29:20,600 --> 01:29:21,902
Mark's dead.

1163
01:29:22,036 --> 01:29:24,772
I linked to the smart car
as he left.

1164
01:29:24,905 --> 01:29:28,574
When I cut the brakes,
he went right into the river.

1165
01:29:28,709 --> 01:29:32,413
Dead on impact.

1166
01:29:32,545 --> 01:29:34,348
My husband, my children?

1167
01:29:34,481 --> 01:29:39,086
Your children are still alive,
strapped in their car seats.

1168
01:29:39,219 --> 01:29:43,457
But the water is slowly rising.

1169
01:29:43,589 --> 01:29:45,025
No!

1170
01:29:45,159 --> 01:29:50,297
Oh honey, you can't go out
looking like that.

1171
01:29:53,801 --> 01:29:56,470
Here, let me help you with that.

1172
01:30:00,407 --> 01:30:03,077
♪ Ow! ♪

1173
01:30:03,210 --> 01:30:06,847
♪ Ow! Alright! ♪

1174
01:30:06,980 --> 01:30:09,917
♪ If you're tired
and all alone ♪

1175
01:30:10,050 --> 01:30:13,653
♪ Don't be scared,
pick up the phone ♪

1176
01:30:13,787 --> 01:30:16,824
♪ 'Cause the Lord
is on the line ♪

1177
01:30:16,957 --> 01:30:20,327
♪ And he will answer you
in time ♪

1178
01:30:20,461 --> 01:30:23,697
♪ Just look up 'cause the blood
is dripping down ♪

1179
01:30:23,831 --> 01:30:28,368
♪ Put your hands up 'cause
your blood is dripping down ♪

1180
01:30:28,502 --> 01:30:30,504
And he screams. You're just
gonna go like that.

1181
01:30:34,341 --> 01:30:37,677
♪ If you're lost
and you're afraid ♪

1182
01:30:37,811 --> 01:30:40,848
♪ The man will lead the way ♪

1183
01:30:40,981 --> 01:30:44,418
♪ Don't call me,
just call the Lord ♪

1184
01:30:44,551 --> 01:30:47,855
♪ 'Cause you still have his
number from the time before ♪

1185
01:30:47,988 --> 01:30:51,225
♪ Look up 'cause the blood is
dripping down ♪

1186
01:30:51,358 --> 01:30:54,495
♪ Put your hands up 'cause
the blood is dripping down ♪

1187
01:30:54,627 --> 01:30:58,198
♪ 'Cause the blood, the blood,
the blood, the blood ♪

1188
01:30:58,332 --> 01:31:02,269
♪ The blood, the blood,
the blood is dripping down ♪

1189
01:31:02,402 --> 01:31:05,772
♪ Is dripping down,
is dripping down ♪

1190
01:31:05,906 --> 01:31:09,076
♪ Is dripping down,
is dripping down ♪

1191
01:31:09,209 --> 01:31:12,446
♪ Is dripping down,
is dripping down ♪

1192
01:31:12,579 --> 01:31:15,916
♪ Is dripping down,
is dripping down ♪

1193
01:31:16,049 --> 01:31:19,353
♪ Is dripping down,
is dripping down ♪

1194
01:31:19,486 --> 01:31:22,589
♪ Is dripping down,
is dripping down ♪

1195
01:31:29,963 --> 01:31:33,233
♪ Hands up,
put your hands up ♪

1196
01:31:33,367 --> 01:31:36,069
♪ Hands up,
put your hands up ♪

1197
01:31:36,203 --> 01:31:39,473
♪ The blood, the blood,
the blood, the blood ♪

1198
01:31:39,606 --> 01:31:41,251
♪ The blood, the blood,
the blood, the blood ♪

1199
01:31:41,275 --> 01:31:43,676
♪ The blood is dripping down ♪

1200
01:31:43,810 --> 01:31:47,114
♪ Hands up,
put your hands up ♪

1201
01:31:47,247 --> 01:31:49,816
♪ Hands up,
put your hands up ♪

1202
01:31:54,755 --> 01:31:57,090
- I can't see.
- You got me.

1203
01:31:57,224 --> 01:31:59,326
No! No, no!

1204
01:31:59,459 --> 01:32:01,662
No! Oh!

1205
01:32:19,179 --> 01:32:21,448
Alright, we got this.

1206
01:32:26,688 --> 01:32:29,590
♪ They say change is comin' ♪

1207
01:32:29,723 --> 01:32:31,658
♪ You better be ready for it ♪

1208
01:32:31,792 --> 01:32:34,595
♪ Go on, keep on runnin' ♪

1209
01:32:34,728 --> 01:32:36,797
♪ There's no escape ♪

1210
01:32:36,930 --> 01:32:39,299
♪ Give in or be buried ♪

1211
01:32:39,433 --> 01:32:43,170
♪ I promise it won't
hurt a bit ♪

1212
01:32:43,303 --> 01:32:44,605
What?

1213
01:32:44,738 --> 01:32:47,007
I'm gonna kill your wife, silly!

1214
01:32:47,140 --> 01:32:50,110
Just like I killed your
mommy and your dad

1215
01:32:50,244 --> 01:32:53,413
and anyone else who tried
to keep us apart.

1216
01:32:53,547 --> 01:32:55,048
You're my best friend.

1217
01:32:55,182 --> 01:32:57,217
This'll be a ton of fun!

1218
01:32:57,351 --> 01:32:59,886
Just don't try and stop me.

1219
01:33:00,020 --> 01:33:01,822
Say bye, Julia!

1220
01:33:01,955 --> 01:33:03,290
No!

1221
01:33:03,423 --> 01:33:05,425
Whoo! Whoo!

1222
01:33:05,559 --> 01:33:07,294
You gotta tell 'em
the police are coming.

1223
01:33:07,427 --> 01:33:10,530
The police are coming!
Whoo!

1224
01:33:10,664 --> 01:33:11,898
Whoo!

1225
01:33:12,032 --> 01:33:14,868
♪ Hold on, where ya goin'? ♪

1226
01:33:15,002 --> 01:33:16,903
♪ The party's about to begin ♪

1227
01:33:17,037 --> 01:33:19,840
♪ Guess what,
you're the hostess ♪

1228
01:33:19,973 --> 01:33:21,508
♪ So entertain ♪

1229
01:33:21,642 --> 01:33:23,443
Action!

1230
01:33:23,577 --> 01:33:26,146
Looking for a snack
that'll give you power?

1231
01:33:26,280 --> 01:33:27,347
Energy?

1232
01:33:27,481 --> 01:33:29,449
Strength and rage?

1233
01:33:31,084 --> 01:33:34,521
Try GutCruncher!

1234
01:33:37,257 --> 01:33:41,962
♪ You'll be dead by midnight ♪

1235
01:33:42,095 --> 01:33:45,932
♪ I guarantee
you won't regret a thing ♪

1236
01:33:55,108 --> 01:33:57,277
Isn't he a thing of beauty?

1237
01:34:31,278 --> 01:34:34,548
Boy, you don't know who
you're fucking with here.

1238
01:34:35,882 --> 01:34:38,051
Scene 1-D, take three.

1239
01:34:40,087 --> 01:34:42,155
Faster, faster.

1240
01:34:45,727 --> 01:34:47,094
Sorry. Fuck it.

1241
01:34:47,227 --> 01:34:50,130
Do it live!
Fuck, we're live!

1242
01:34:50,263 --> 01:34:52,834
- No, we're not.
- We're not live.

1243
01:34:52,966 --> 01:34:54,334
Fuck it, I'll do it live!

1244
01:34:54,468 --> 01:34:58,372
I will send a Bag of Dicks
to your...

1245
01:34:58,505 --> 01:34:59,973
Fuck! Shit!

1246
01:35:00,107 --> 01:35:02,242
See, the kid's here.

1247
01:35:04,478 --> 01:35:06,646
I can throw a leg into it.

1248
01:35:06,781 --> 01:35:09,082
Hey!

1249
01:35:09,216 --> 01:35:11,952
I'm cool and I'm sexy.

1250
01:35:12,085 --> 01:35:13,821
Of Dicks to your doorstep!

1251
01:35:13,954 --> 01:35:16,890
Not your fucking doorstep,
your enemy's fucking doorstep!

1252
01:35:17,023 --> 01:35:18,925
Why do I keep doing that?

1253
01:36:19,186 --> 01:36:22,122
Good evening, user.

1254
01:36:22,255 --> 01:36:25,058
Are you still breathing?