1 00:00:04,743 --> 00:00:05,135 . 2 00:00:05,179 --> 00:00:09,139 - I am committed to expanding and improving public transit 3 00:00:09,183 --> 00:00:12,055 because it's hardworking Angelenos like these 4 00:00:12,099 --> 00:00:14,710 that are the lifeblood of our city. 5 00:00:14,753 --> 00:00:17,495 So as--oh! Hey there, pal. 6 00:00:17,539 --> 00:00:20,411 May I ask why you got on the bus today with no pants? 7 00:00:20,455 --> 00:00:23,762 - How else am I supposed to get to the pants store, idiot? 8 00:00:23,806 --> 00:00:25,199 - Well, there you go. 9 00:00:25,242 --> 00:00:27,244 Whether it's a pants store or City Hall, 10 00:00:27,288 --> 00:00:28,854 LA Metro will get you there. 11 00:00:28,898 --> 00:00:29,855 Now, as mayor-- 12 00:00:29,899 --> 00:00:31,161 - You're not the mayor. 13 00:00:31,205 --> 00:00:32,554 I'm the mayor. 14 00:00:32,597 --> 00:00:34,512 - Well, let's just agree to disagree, shall we? 15 00:00:34,556 --> 00:00:35,948 - Mayor fight! 16 00:00:35,992 --> 00:00:37,080 all: [chanting] Mayor fight! 17 00:00:37,124 --> 00:00:38,560 - Oh, come on. Come on, stop. 18 00:00:38,603 --> 00:00:40,040 - [screams] - [shrieks] 19 00:00:40,083 --> 00:00:42,999 [upbeat music] 20 00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:47,438 ♪ 21 00:00:47,482 --> 00:00:48,744 - Good morning, Mr. Mayor. 22 00:00:48,787 --> 00:00:50,267 - I'm not sure who needs to know this, 23 00:00:50,311 --> 00:00:52,661 but FYI, on the 733 bus, 24 00:00:52,704 --> 00:00:54,532 I'm no longer the mayor of this city. 25 00:00:54,576 --> 00:00:56,186 - That bus mayor was stronger than you, sir. 26 00:00:56,230 --> 00:00:57,883 - [scoffs] - Hey, Jayden, 27 00:00:57,927 --> 00:01:00,799 I found the mayor's little bus speech real original. 28 00:01:00,843 --> 00:01:02,062 - It actually wasn't. 29 00:01:02,105 --> 00:01:03,541 To save time, I just took his last speech 30 00:01:03,585 --> 00:01:05,543 and changed "algae bloom" to "bus passengers." 31 00:01:05,587 --> 00:01:08,242 - I was being sarcastic. - Well, you're great at it. 32 00:01:08,285 --> 00:01:09,895 - Yeah, Jayden, 33 00:01:09,939 --> 00:01:12,376 Twitter has started to notice that we're recycling speeches. 34 00:01:12,420 --> 00:01:15,423 - Small businesses are the lifeblood of this city. 35 00:01:15,466 --> 00:01:18,600 Reasonably-priced produce is the lifeblood of this city. 36 00:01:18,643 --> 00:01:20,819 The passing of Archbishop Sheehan 37 00:01:20,863 --> 00:01:23,126 is the lifeblood-- you're killing me. 38 00:01:23,170 --> 00:01:26,129 Yeah, the comms department may be stretched a little thin. 39 00:01:26,173 --> 00:01:28,088 - Why, thank you. - I'm on it, sir. 40 00:01:28,131 --> 00:01:29,524 I put up listings for a speechwriter 41 00:01:29,567 --> 00:01:31,308 on LinkedIn, Monster, Craigslist. 42 00:01:31,352 --> 00:01:32,744 I've already gotten some responses 43 00:01:32,788 --> 00:01:34,224 that weren't genital photographs. 44 00:01:34,268 --> 00:01:35,660 - Great. So, Jayden, 45 00:01:35,704 --> 00:01:37,619 start going through résumés and pick someone. 46 00:01:37,662 --> 00:01:38,881 - I don't know. 47 00:01:38,924 --> 00:01:40,578 I once hired someone to assemble a bookshelf, 48 00:01:40,622 --> 00:01:43,581 and yada, yada, yada. Stole my TV, dated my mom. 49 00:01:43,625 --> 00:01:45,627 - Come on, this is a chance for you to step up 50 00:01:45,670 --> 00:01:47,150 and be a man. 51 00:01:47,194 --> 00:01:50,284 Or a strong, capable woman. 52 00:01:50,327 --> 00:01:52,199 - But I'm more of a creative genius 53 00:01:52,242 --> 00:01:53,461 than a manager. 54 00:01:53,504 --> 00:01:55,158 - I have faith in you, Jayden. 55 00:01:55,202 --> 00:01:57,334 Just find someone who makes your life easier 56 00:01:57,378 --> 00:01:58,770 and hire that person. 57 00:01:58,814 --> 00:02:01,251 - Or woman. 58 00:02:01,295 --> 00:02:02,774 - Moving on, Ms. Meskimen 59 00:02:02,818 --> 00:02:04,428 this morning will be in Brentwood. 60 00:02:04,472 --> 00:02:06,691 - I love a town hall. 61 00:02:06,735 --> 00:02:08,128 Democracy at work, 62 00:02:08,171 --> 00:02:09,999 people getting heated over ideas, 63 00:02:10,042 --> 00:02:12,741 and in LA, there's always some dingbat celebrity there, 64 00:02:12,784 --> 00:02:14,003 running their mouth, 65 00:02:14,046 --> 00:02:15,439 and I get to tell them they're not special. 66 00:02:15,483 --> 00:02:17,354 - I don't even understand why we need to build 67 00:02:17,398 --> 00:02:19,443 low-income housing here. 68 00:02:19,487 --> 00:02:22,142 I already have a home. I have ten homes. 69 00:02:22,185 --> 00:02:23,186 Life is easy for me. 70 00:02:23,230 --> 00:02:24,622 - You're not special! 71 00:02:24,666 --> 00:02:27,321 Yeah, this is gonna be a fun one. 72 00:02:27,364 --> 00:02:29,279 All those rich Brentwood turkeys think 73 00:02:29,323 --> 00:02:30,976 they're too good for trash. 74 00:02:31,020 --> 00:02:31,977 - Wait a second. Is this 75 00:02:32,021 --> 00:02:33,065 about the recycling center? 76 00:02:33,109 --> 00:02:34,197 Because I should be there. 77 00:02:34,241 --> 00:02:36,025 It's Brentwood. Those are my people. 78 00:02:36,068 --> 00:02:37,157 Arpi, I'm sorry, 79 00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:38,767 but I need to take the lead on this. 80 00:02:38,810 --> 00:02:42,684 - Great. You have my complete confidence and support, sir. 81 00:02:43,772 --> 00:02:45,208 Not. 82 00:02:45,252 --> 00:02:46,470 - Not what? 83 00:02:46,514 --> 00:02:49,647 - I said you had my confidence and support. 84 00:02:49,691 --> 00:02:51,910 - That was an hour and a half ago. 85 00:02:51,954 --> 00:02:53,477 - I can't trust you around these people. 86 00:02:53,521 --> 00:02:55,087 You're one of them. You're gonna get up there 87 00:02:55,131 --> 00:02:56,176 in front of those one percenters 88 00:02:56,219 --> 00:02:57,438 and fold like a card table. 89 00:02:57,481 --> 00:02:59,657 - How you do you fold a card table, Arpi? 90 00:02:59,701 --> 00:03:02,007 They're made of solid wood with cup holders 91 00:03:02,051 --> 00:03:03,444 so you don't pucker the felt. 92 00:03:03,487 --> 00:03:05,576 - You're proving my point. Card tables are plastic! 93 00:03:05,620 --> 00:03:07,404 You put them in the yard to serve Crystal Light on 94 00:03:07,448 --> 00:03:08,666 after someone gets shot 95 00:03:08,710 --> 00:03:11,103 and you're all just milling around in shock. 96 00:03:11,147 --> 00:03:13,236 - Ah, come if you want, 97 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:15,238 but you have nothing to worry about. 98 00:03:15,282 --> 00:03:16,631 - I'm coming, and we're playing 99 00:03:16,674 --> 00:03:18,807 my pre-town hall psych-up music. 100 00:03:18,850 --> 00:03:21,940 Officer, plug this into the RCA jack, please. 101 00:03:21,984 --> 00:03:23,159 Get ready to get pumped. 102 00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:26,858 - ♪ California would not hold me ♪ 103 00:03:26,902 --> 00:03:30,645 ♪ Though I loved her timber mountains ♪ 104 00:03:30,688 --> 00:03:32,342 - Hey. Mikaela, right? 105 00:03:32,386 --> 00:03:35,040 - Orly. Hi, and hello. 106 00:03:35,084 --> 00:03:36,607 - Is my dad around? 107 00:03:36,651 --> 00:03:38,740 A pipe burst at school, so they let us go early. 108 00:03:38,783 --> 00:03:41,438 - Oh, no. Shoot. His schedule changed. 109 00:03:41,482 --> 00:03:43,310 But you can hang out here, little homey. 110 00:03:43,353 --> 00:03:46,269 Homeys gotta homework. Homework. Boo. 111 00:03:46,313 --> 00:03:48,837 - I can't believe her. Whatever. 112 00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:51,666 - What's wrong? Leaked nudes? Frenemy? 113 00:03:51,709 --> 00:03:53,711 - Just a stupid orchestra concert today. 114 00:03:53,755 --> 00:03:56,323 - Today? What about the pipe? 115 00:03:56,366 --> 00:03:58,716 Wait, are you in the orchestra? 116 00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:02,067 I was orchestra manager, so more on the biz side. 117 00:04:02,111 --> 00:04:05,941 - I play flute, but it's not like anyone's gonna miss me. 118 00:04:05,984 --> 00:04:08,813 - So you lied about the pipe 119 00:04:08,857 --> 00:04:11,120 because you're nervous about the concert. 120 00:04:11,163 --> 00:04:13,383 - Oh, my God, no. "Nervous"? 121 00:04:13,427 --> 00:04:15,820 I murder the flute like Lizzo. 122 00:04:15,864 --> 00:04:18,301 I practiced all summer to make first chair, 123 00:04:18,345 --> 00:04:20,129 and I did make first chair, 124 00:04:20,172 --> 00:04:22,827 but then Mr. Kenny gave the solo in "Peer Gynt" 125 00:04:22,871 --> 00:04:25,917 to Abby Shapiro because he's a fascist, 126 00:04:25,961 --> 00:04:29,356 and it's like, what's even the point of the chair system? 127 00:04:29,399 --> 00:04:32,620 It's so unfair, and I hate high school! 128 00:04:34,361 --> 00:04:36,058 [door slams] 129 00:04:36,101 --> 00:04:37,755 - Hey, FYI, the mayor's daughter's here, 130 00:04:37,799 --> 00:04:39,235 so this is how I'm going to play it. 131 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:40,323 I'll do everything wrong 132 00:04:40,367 --> 00:04:42,238 so that she runs out of here furious. 133 00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:44,022 Wait, you beat me to it? 134 00:04:44,066 --> 00:04:47,112 Guess Mikaela wins again. 135 00:04:47,156 --> 00:04:49,854 - [sighs] 136 00:04:49,898 --> 00:04:50,986 Yeah. 137 00:04:54,337 --> 00:04:54,468 . 138 00:04:54,511 --> 00:04:56,165 - Listen. Listen. 139 00:04:56,208 --> 00:04:58,210 I know interviews can be nerve-racking. 140 00:04:58,254 --> 00:05:00,561 If you want, you can picture me in my underwear. 141 00:05:00,604 --> 00:05:03,259 I brought a pair if it helps. 142 00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:04,608 So this would be a bit of a change for you. 143 00:05:04,652 --> 00:05:06,958 You spent your whole career in Puerto Rico. 144 00:05:07,002 --> 00:05:09,918 - Um, that's PR. - For short. 145 00:05:09,961 --> 00:05:12,094 I went there once. I got bit by a beach puppy. 146 00:05:12,137 --> 00:05:14,662 - Yeah, I meant public relations. 147 00:05:14,705 --> 00:05:16,707 Be careful. - Oh, the chair? 148 00:05:16,751 --> 00:05:18,927 Don't worry. Not my first chair rodeo. 149 00:05:18,970 --> 00:05:21,321 [laughs] Catch me! 150 00:05:21,364 --> 00:05:22,931 - America so cool. 151 00:05:22,974 --> 00:05:26,456 USA number one party. Diet starts Monday. 152 00:05:26,500 --> 00:05:27,936 - Great, well, we'll be in touch, Sforg. 153 00:05:27,979 --> 00:05:30,460 - Supers dupers, Jaydens. I love you. 154 00:05:30,504 --> 00:05:33,507 I cannot wait for you to meet my house. 155 00:05:33,550 --> 00:05:36,727 - [sighs] It is lonely at the top, Tommy. 156 00:05:36,771 --> 00:05:38,860 - Hmm... interest level exceeded. 157 00:05:38,903 --> 00:05:40,252 - Well, the mayor told me to hire someone 158 00:05:40,296 --> 00:05:41,515 that would make my life easier, 159 00:05:41,558 --> 00:05:43,734 but so far, the best of the bunch is Sforg, 160 00:05:43,778 --> 00:05:45,780 and he's only here because he's on paid vacation 161 00:05:45,823 --> 00:05:46,955 from a Swedish prison. 162 00:05:46,998 --> 00:05:49,218 - For knife murders! 163 00:05:49,261 --> 00:05:50,959 - Europe is different. - Yeah. 164 00:05:51,002 --> 00:05:53,831 - Excuse me, Mr. Kwapis? I'm Derek Joshua. 165 00:05:53,875 --> 00:05:55,180 I applied for the speechwriter job. 166 00:05:55,224 --> 00:05:57,400 - Your tie is so funny. - I know, right? 167 00:05:57,444 --> 00:06:00,142 It's like, "Uh, we're gonna need a bigger shirt." 168 00:06:00,185 --> 00:06:02,362 [both laugh] - I love movie quotes. 169 00:06:02,405 --> 00:06:04,799 "Yes, you called for the Ghostbusters." 170 00:06:04,842 --> 00:06:06,191 - Oh, man! Okay. 171 00:06:06,235 --> 00:06:08,019 On three, say your favorite "Ghostbusters." 172 00:06:08,063 --> 00:06:09,238 One, two, three. 173 00:06:09,281 --> 00:06:12,023 both: First boy "Ghostbusters." 174 00:06:12,067 --> 00:06:13,895 - Why am I still standing here? 175 00:06:13,938 --> 00:06:17,159 - Okay, I'd like to begin by pointing out 176 00:06:17,202 --> 00:06:19,161 that none of you deserve what you have. 177 00:06:19,204 --> 00:06:22,947 In fact, material wealth is, if anything, 178 00:06:22,991 --> 00:06:24,471 inversely correlated 179 00:06:24,514 --> 00:06:26,473 with a person's worth as a human being. 180 00:06:26,516 --> 00:06:28,344 Now, here's someone you probably know 181 00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:31,478 from your Botox parties, Mayor Neil Bremer. 182 00:06:31,521 --> 00:06:34,437 [crowd booing] 183 00:06:34,481 --> 00:06:35,699 - [laughs] 184 00:06:35,743 --> 00:06:38,572 All right, as a longtime Bel Air resident, 185 00:06:38,615 --> 00:06:40,965 I wanna make one thing clear: 186 00:06:41,009 --> 00:06:43,925 Westside, best side. 187 00:06:43,968 --> 00:06:45,579 [cheers and applause] 188 00:06:45,622 --> 00:06:49,147 That said, I fully support this project. 189 00:06:49,191 --> 00:06:51,498 Our city has a trash problem, 190 00:06:51,541 --> 00:06:54,588 and we can no longer rely on my predecessor's plan 191 00:06:54,631 --> 00:06:56,241 to dump it all in the woods 192 00:06:56,285 --> 00:06:58,896 and wait till the fires take care of it. 193 00:06:58,940 --> 00:07:01,290 I know you have concerns, 194 00:07:01,333 --> 00:07:03,510 and I'm here to listen, so... 195 00:07:03,553 --> 00:07:06,338 - Do you have any idea how much rose quartz it'll take 196 00:07:06,382 --> 00:07:07,818 to counter the negative energy 197 00:07:07,862 --> 00:07:09,690 created by this sorting facility? 198 00:07:09,733 --> 00:07:13,258 - Um, 12. - Touché. 199 00:07:13,302 --> 00:07:16,087 I see you've used my being an idiot against me. 200 00:07:16,131 --> 00:07:17,611 Well played. 201 00:07:17,654 --> 00:07:19,090 - Hi. David. 202 00:07:19,134 --> 00:07:22,529 Listen, we cannot have a trash facility in Brentwood. 203 00:07:22,572 --> 00:07:25,009 I mean, come on, I moved here to give my bees a better life. 204 00:07:25,053 --> 00:07:26,533 - And I'm sure they appreciate that. 205 00:07:26,576 --> 00:07:29,405 - Listen, if this affects the flavor profile of my honey, 206 00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:31,146 you're gonna have to explain it to Chrissy Teigen, 207 00:07:31,189 --> 00:07:34,366 because she has been... 208 00:07:34,410 --> 00:07:36,194 she's been my champion through all this. 209 00:07:36,238 --> 00:07:38,588 - Who the hell is this guy? - David Spade, "SNL." 210 00:07:38,632 --> 00:07:40,982 - Never heard of him. - "Joe Dirt"? No? 211 00:07:41,025 --> 00:07:43,071 - It says under "special skills" that-- 212 00:07:43,114 --> 00:07:45,552 [speaking Dothraki] 213 00:07:45,595 --> 00:07:49,730 - [speaking Dothraki] 214 00:07:49,773 --> 00:07:51,775 [both laugh] 215 00:07:51,819 --> 00:07:53,473 - I would never. - Good, 'cause... 216 00:07:53,516 --> 00:07:55,300 [both laugh] 217 00:07:55,344 --> 00:07:58,173 Look, obviously, I don't have any experience in politics. 218 00:07:58,216 --> 00:07:59,566 - You've done a lot of writing. 219 00:07:59,609 --> 00:08:01,568 Have any of your screenplays ever been produced? 220 00:08:01,611 --> 00:08:02,699 - Not yet. 221 00:08:02,743 --> 00:08:04,266 Hollywood's all about who you know, 222 00:08:04,309 --> 00:08:05,441 and my uncle won't introduce me 223 00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:07,443 to anyone at the studio he runs. 224 00:08:09,010 --> 00:08:10,490 - Right? - Yeah. 225 00:08:11,969 --> 00:08:14,755 - There you are. Are you okay? 226 00:08:14,798 --> 00:08:16,713 Look, I get it. 227 00:08:16,757 --> 00:08:19,281 I was your age just, like, ten years ago. 228 00:08:19,324 --> 00:08:21,283 - That's such a long time. 229 00:08:21,326 --> 00:08:24,199 - It's actually--it is. 230 00:08:24,242 --> 00:08:26,506 High school was really rough for me, too. 231 00:08:26,549 --> 00:08:29,726 I had a widow's peak that connected to my unibrow. 232 00:08:29,770 --> 00:08:33,121 I gave the nurse the other half of my "Best Friends" necklace. 233 00:08:33,164 --> 00:08:34,339 Then I found it in the trash later. 234 00:08:34,383 --> 00:08:35,993 - Please stop. - Yeah. 235 00:08:36,037 --> 00:08:37,604 - I get it. - Mm-hmm. 236 00:08:37,647 --> 00:08:38,909 But look at me now. 237 00:08:38,953 --> 00:08:43,523 Two eyebrows, a whole forehead, kickass job, 238 00:08:43,566 --> 00:08:47,222 and Nurse Kelly has a pretty big opioid problem. 239 00:08:47,265 --> 00:08:49,659 - High school's so stupid. 240 00:08:49,703 --> 00:08:51,792 Being first chair doesn't mean anything. 241 00:08:51,835 --> 00:08:53,968 Being class president doesn't even mean anything. 242 00:08:54,011 --> 00:08:57,928 My only power is choosing the themes for school dances, 243 00:08:57,972 --> 00:08:59,626 and the faculty adviser overruled 244 00:08:59,669 --> 00:09:01,497 "Consent Under the Sea." 245 00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:03,151 - Just wait. 246 00:09:03,194 --> 00:09:04,979 Grown-up life isn't high school. 247 00:09:05,022 --> 00:09:07,982 I promise. 248 00:09:08,025 --> 00:09:10,071 - Thanks, Mikaela. 249 00:09:10,114 --> 00:09:11,899 Your eyebrows look really separate. 250 00:09:11,942 --> 00:09:13,814 - Oh, my God. Thank you. 251 00:09:13,857 --> 00:09:15,467 Now, let's go get on Instagram, 252 00:09:15,511 --> 00:09:17,034 and I'll show you what all that sun damage 253 00:09:17,078 --> 00:09:19,341 and drinking does to the cool kids. 254 00:09:19,384 --> 00:09:21,125 They look so bad. [both laugh] 255 00:09:21,169 --> 00:09:22,910 - [laughs] Easy. 256 00:09:22,953 --> 00:09:24,346 Marry Ms. Butterworth. - Yep. 257 00:09:24,389 --> 00:09:26,043 - Eff the Land O' Lakes chick, - Damn right. 258 00:09:26,087 --> 00:09:27,697 - Kill the Utz girl. - Correct. 259 00:09:27,741 --> 00:09:29,003 Hey, speaking of food, 260 00:09:29,046 --> 00:09:30,047 I don't have any more interviews 261 00:09:30,091 --> 00:09:31,527 until this afternoon. 262 00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:33,268 Do you wanna maybe grab some lunch? 263 00:09:33,311 --> 00:09:35,879 I know it's only 11:00, but I really like it when-- 264 00:09:35,923 --> 00:09:38,012 - You're the first order on the griddle after breakfast? 265 00:09:38,055 --> 00:09:39,317 [scoffs] Yeah, 'cause then your... 266 00:09:39,361 --> 00:09:42,538 both: Lunch tastes like pancakes. 267 00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:44,627 - My child is not vaccinated, 268 00:09:44,671 --> 00:09:47,195 and for some reason, she is very sick all the time, 269 00:09:47,238 --> 00:09:49,893 and now you wanna surround her with trash? 270 00:09:49,937 --> 00:09:52,287 What she needs is more horses. 271 00:09:52,330 --> 00:09:54,071 - Okay, get outta here. Next person. 272 00:09:54,115 --> 00:09:55,638 - Hi, I'm Andie, 273 00:09:55,682 --> 00:09:59,381 president of the Brentwood Homeowners Association, 274 00:09:59,424 --> 00:10:01,296 and my hair just dries like this. 275 00:10:01,339 --> 00:10:05,126 [rock music] 276 00:10:05,169 --> 00:10:09,696 ♪ 277 00:10:09,739 --> 00:10:11,698 - You're Andie MacDowell 278 00:10:11,741 --> 00:10:14,265 from "Multiplicity" and "Groundhog Day" 279 00:10:14,309 --> 00:10:17,486 and that Calvin Klein commercial back in the '80s. 280 00:10:17,529 --> 00:10:19,270 You were wearing jeans. 281 00:10:19,314 --> 00:10:22,404 ♪ 282 00:10:22,447 --> 00:10:25,320 Sproing. 283 00:10:27,148 --> 00:10:27,365 . 284 00:10:27,409 --> 00:10:30,020 [cheery music] 285 00:10:30,064 --> 00:10:32,675 - Why do you look like Pikachu week on "Drag Race"? 286 00:10:32,719 --> 00:10:34,851 - Because my speechwriter search is over. 287 00:10:34,895 --> 00:10:36,548 Derek and I just had the funnest time 288 00:10:36,592 --> 00:10:37,898 at Universal Studios. 289 00:10:37,941 --> 00:10:39,639 We both have the same favorite Minion-- 290 00:10:39,682 --> 00:10:41,205 Stu, duh-- 291 00:10:41,249 --> 00:10:44,861 we both love pizza and music, and he's an awesome writer. 292 00:10:44,905 --> 00:10:46,210 His new screenplay is about, 293 00:10:46,254 --> 00:10:49,039 what if Marty McFly had married his mom? 294 00:10:49,083 --> 00:10:50,388 [pops lips] 295 00:10:50,432 --> 00:10:51,912 - So this Derek would be 296 00:10:51,955 --> 00:10:54,915 someone you'd talk to instead of me? 297 00:10:54,958 --> 00:10:56,612 - Yeah. 298 00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:58,701 - Go to him. - Sorry. 299 00:10:58,745 --> 00:10:59,833 - Excuse me. 300 00:10:59,876 --> 00:11:01,704 Are you Jayden Kwapis? - Yeah. 301 00:11:01,748 --> 00:11:03,053 - I've been waiting for two hours 302 00:11:03,097 --> 00:11:05,534 to meet with you about the speechwriter position. 303 00:11:05,577 --> 00:11:07,710 - I'm so sorry. Right this way. 304 00:11:07,754 --> 00:11:10,713 This won't take long. 305 00:11:10,757 --> 00:11:12,933 Master's in public policy? 306 00:11:12,976 --> 00:11:15,675 Deputy speechwriter for Governor Brown? 307 00:11:15,718 --> 00:11:18,286 Chief speechwriter for Maxine Waters? 308 00:11:18,329 --> 00:11:21,419 And also a felon? 309 00:11:21,463 --> 00:11:23,247 Banana! 310 00:11:23,291 --> 00:11:26,990 - I know Los Angeles needs a new recycling facility. 311 00:11:27,034 --> 00:11:31,342 I mean, this town certainly has its share of plastic. 312 00:11:31,386 --> 00:11:32,692 Surgery, that is. 313 00:11:32,735 --> 00:11:34,345 - [laughs] 314 00:11:34,389 --> 00:11:35,651 Oh, that's wonderful. 315 00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:37,348 I mean, I knew you could be funny 316 00:11:37,392 --> 00:11:38,785 on film, Ms. MacDowell, but-- 317 00:11:38,828 --> 00:11:40,525 - Oh, call me Andie. 318 00:11:40,569 --> 00:11:42,353 - And you can call me Hoops. 319 00:11:42,397 --> 00:11:44,007 I played basketball, you know. 320 00:11:44,051 --> 00:11:47,707 - Obviously, I... [laughs] 321 00:11:47,750 --> 00:11:49,621 Oppose your plan. 322 00:11:49,665 --> 00:11:53,408 [both laugh] 323 00:11:53,451 --> 00:11:55,802 Oh, what was I saying? 324 00:11:55,845 --> 00:11:57,934 [sighs] Doesn't matter. 325 00:11:57,978 --> 00:11:59,370 - No, no, no, no, no. Take your time. 326 00:11:59,414 --> 00:12:01,024 I love watching you think. 327 00:12:01,068 --> 00:12:05,376 - I was saying, call me crazy, but I don't like garbage. 328 00:12:05,420 --> 00:12:07,030 - Who does? 329 00:12:07,074 --> 00:12:09,903 Oscar the Grouch, sure, but he's a puppet being silly. 330 00:12:09,946 --> 00:12:12,688 - What is he doing out there? Get in the game, Hoops! 331 00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:14,821 - Listen, Andie, we're having this dialogue 332 00:12:14,864 --> 00:12:16,997 because nothing's set in stone. 333 00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:18,738 - Son of a bitch is folding. 334 00:12:18,781 --> 00:12:20,740 - If you would like to discuss this further, 335 00:12:20,783 --> 00:12:24,482 you know, like, over dinner... 336 00:12:24,526 --> 00:12:25,919 Do you like food? 337 00:12:25,962 --> 00:12:28,051 - Excuse us. Five-minute recess. 338 00:12:28,095 --> 00:12:29,270 Talk amongst yourselves 339 00:12:29,313 --> 00:12:33,143 about your empty, materialistic lives. 340 00:12:33,187 --> 00:12:34,101 I knew it. 341 00:12:34,144 --> 00:12:35,319 I knew you wouldn't be able 342 00:12:35,363 --> 00:12:37,017 to stand up to your fellow plutocrats. 343 00:12:37,060 --> 00:12:38,670 - No. - You disgust me. 344 00:12:38,714 --> 00:12:41,064 - It's not that. No, it's her. 345 00:12:41,108 --> 00:12:44,285 - Who? Tall-y McBeautiful? 346 00:12:44,328 --> 00:12:46,504 Boring. - You don't understand. 347 00:12:46,548 --> 00:12:48,202 I've been in love before. 348 00:12:48,245 --> 00:12:51,379 I've been married twice, but... 349 00:12:51,422 --> 00:12:54,034 Andie MacDowell... 350 00:12:54,077 --> 00:12:57,689 Have you seen "Greystoke: The Legend of Tarzan"? 351 00:12:57,733 --> 00:13:00,823 She's in this nightgown, combing her hair, 352 00:13:00,867 --> 00:13:02,085 and then Tarzan comes in, 353 00:13:02,129 --> 00:13:05,523 and then he starts combing her hair. 354 00:13:05,567 --> 00:13:07,134 Oh, come on. 355 00:13:07,177 --> 00:13:08,744 Don't you have anyone in your life 356 00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:11,529 who just pushes all your buttons? 357 00:13:11,573 --> 00:13:13,140 - Harvey Milk. 358 00:13:13,183 --> 00:13:14,794 I know, I know. He's dead. 359 00:13:14,837 --> 00:13:17,840 - I rented "St. Elmo's Fire" so many times, 360 00:13:17,884 --> 00:13:19,842 when Blockbuster went out of business, 361 00:13:19,886 --> 00:13:21,801 they just gave me the tape. 362 00:13:21,844 --> 00:13:24,412 Arpi, I wanna do the right thing here. 363 00:13:24,455 --> 00:13:26,849 I wanna be a good mayor, 364 00:13:26,893 --> 00:13:29,156 but I'm going to go out to dinner with her, 365 00:13:29,199 --> 00:13:31,027 and I will fold. 366 00:13:31,071 --> 00:13:32,768 Probably gonna buy her a Mercedes. 367 00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:34,683 - What the hell do you want me to do? 368 00:13:34,726 --> 00:13:36,119 If she's really your Harvey Milk, 369 00:13:36,163 --> 00:13:37,686 this train's off the tracks. 370 00:13:37,729 --> 00:13:39,862 - I don't know. 371 00:13:39,906 --> 00:13:41,864 Just do something. 372 00:13:43,910 --> 00:13:45,041 - Hi, there, stranger. 373 00:13:45,085 --> 00:13:48,523 - Hey. Where were we? 374 00:13:48,566 --> 00:13:50,351 - This is Sophia Ladaro. 375 00:13:50,394 --> 00:13:52,048 She used to call me "Teen Wolf." 376 00:13:52,092 --> 00:13:54,442 Now look how sad and ugly she is. 377 00:13:54,485 --> 00:13:57,401 - Oh, it says she's at her mom's funeral. 378 00:13:57,445 --> 00:14:00,187 - Yeah, so that's her dressed up. 379 00:14:00,230 --> 00:14:04,191 - Well, I have a zit, and it's picture day. 380 00:14:04,234 --> 00:14:07,194 For our photo IDs? My life is over. 381 00:14:08,935 --> 00:14:10,719 - How is this any different than high school? 382 00:14:10,762 --> 00:14:12,025 - What? 383 00:14:12,068 --> 00:14:13,940 - You've spent hours making fun of people, 384 00:14:13,983 --> 00:14:16,116 this guy's freaking out over a pimple, 385 00:14:16,159 --> 00:14:17,900 and I'm pretty sure you're only talking to me 386 00:14:17,944 --> 00:14:19,206 because of who my dad is. 387 00:14:19,249 --> 00:14:21,251 - What? No. Orly, we're buddies. 388 00:14:21,295 --> 00:14:23,079 I requested to follow you on Instagram. 389 00:14:23,123 --> 00:14:24,515 Did you see it, or-- 390 00:14:24,559 --> 00:14:25,821 - And those ladies. 391 00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:28,389 They've spent all day reading people to filth. 392 00:14:28,432 --> 00:14:30,913 - [speaking Spanish] 393 00:14:30,957 --> 00:14:32,262 [laughter] 394 00:14:32,306 --> 00:14:33,785 - Yeah, don't mess with them. 395 00:14:33,829 --> 00:14:35,787 We call them "Las Plasticas." 396 00:14:35,831 --> 00:14:37,267 - You were wrong, Mikaela. 397 00:14:37,311 --> 00:14:40,314 Real life is high school. It never ends! 398 00:14:40,357 --> 00:14:43,447 - No, Orly, that's not true. - Guys, I'm freaking out. 399 00:14:43,491 --> 00:14:45,536 I know Valerie is perfect or whatever, but I'm worried 400 00:14:45,580 --> 00:14:47,103 that Derek won't wanna be my friend anymore 401 00:14:47,147 --> 00:14:48,626 if I don't pick him, and he's so cool, 402 00:14:48,670 --> 00:14:50,802 and he drives stick, and also my mom packed me raisins 403 00:14:50,846 --> 00:14:52,804 if anyone wants to trade. 404 00:14:52,848 --> 00:14:55,024 - Oh, my God. It never ends. 405 00:14:55,068 --> 00:14:56,634 High school never ends. 406 00:14:56,678 --> 00:14:58,114 - What? No! 407 00:14:58,158 --> 00:14:59,899 I don't wanna have to run the mile again. 408 00:14:59,942 --> 00:15:01,901 - Everybody get out of my room! 409 00:15:01,944 --> 00:15:04,294 [both sobbing] 410 00:15:04,338 --> 00:15:06,644 - Mercedes has this paint finish 411 00:15:06,688 --> 00:15:08,385 they call "Denim Blue." 412 00:15:08,429 --> 00:15:09,952 I think it would look great on you. 413 00:15:09,996 --> 00:15:12,128 - Excuse me, Mr. Mayor? 414 00:15:12,172 --> 00:15:13,477 I'd like to ask some questions. 415 00:15:13,521 --> 00:15:15,784 - No, shut up. You're not from Brentwood. 416 00:15:15,827 --> 00:15:17,046 [whispering] No, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 417 00:15:17,090 --> 00:15:18,308 Please help me. 418 00:15:18,352 --> 00:15:21,181 - You're right. I'm not from Brentwood. 419 00:15:21,224 --> 00:15:25,011 Eastside, beast side. [crowd mutters] 420 00:15:25,054 --> 00:15:26,969 As a resident of Greater Los Angeles, 421 00:15:27,013 --> 00:15:28,492 I'd just like to know where 422 00:15:28,536 --> 00:15:31,147 the president of the Brentwood Homeowners Association 423 00:15:31,191 --> 00:15:32,496 thinks this trash should go. 424 00:15:32,540 --> 00:15:35,456 - Oh. Well, anywhere else, really. 425 00:15:35,499 --> 00:15:37,719 - Because Brentwood is so special. 426 00:15:37,762 --> 00:15:39,373 - Thank you. Yes. 427 00:15:39,416 --> 00:15:42,942 And the people that live here like clean, open spaces. 428 00:15:42,985 --> 00:15:44,378 - And other neighborhoods don't. 429 00:15:44,421 --> 00:15:45,857 - Apparently not. 430 00:15:45,901 --> 00:15:47,424 I mean, just look at those places. 431 00:15:47,468 --> 00:15:50,688 Everywhere you turn, there is a graffito. 432 00:15:50,732 --> 00:15:52,038 I mean, come on. 433 00:15:52,081 --> 00:15:54,475 The taxes that we pay. 434 00:15:54,518 --> 00:15:56,868 We don't deserve this. 435 00:15:56,912 --> 00:15:58,174 - Oh, God. 436 00:15:58,218 --> 00:16:00,960 - But someone like me deserves your trash? 437 00:16:01,003 --> 00:16:03,527 - That is an amazing solution. 438 00:16:03,571 --> 00:16:06,966 I think that you would love my trash. 439 00:16:07,009 --> 00:16:08,358 - What? No. No, no, no. 440 00:16:08,402 --> 00:16:12,014 - You know, my trash has perfectly good food in it. 441 00:16:12,058 --> 00:16:13,973 Clothes with the tags still on it. 442 00:16:14,016 --> 00:16:16,453 And I throw out all the skincare products 443 00:16:16,497 --> 00:16:19,543 that companies send me because I don't need 'em. 444 00:16:19,587 --> 00:16:22,459 - This is wonderful. What else do you throw out? 445 00:16:22,503 --> 00:16:25,462 - Honestly, anything that doesn't spark joy. 446 00:16:25,506 --> 00:16:30,076 Oh, you know, normally, I give my old bags to my maid, 447 00:16:30,119 --> 00:16:32,295 but if you like it... 448 00:16:32,339 --> 00:16:34,036 It does have a monogram, though. 449 00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:36,343 - I love it! And, hey, what do you know? 450 00:16:36,386 --> 00:16:38,519 AM. Those are my initials. 451 00:16:38,562 --> 00:16:41,043 - Oh, I can't wait to tell my psychic! 452 00:16:41,087 --> 00:16:43,176 Well, it's settled. 453 00:16:43,219 --> 00:16:45,700 Our trash goes there. 454 00:16:45,743 --> 00:16:48,311 [applause] - No! 455 00:16:48,355 --> 00:16:51,401 No! You people are awful! 456 00:16:51,445 --> 00:16:54,578 We're building the facility, Andie, in Brentwood, 457 00:16:54,622 --> 00:16:57,320 and I'm not buying you a Mercedes. 458 00:16:57,364 --> 00:17:00,845 You're nothing like your character from "Groundhog Day." 459 00:17:00,889 --> 00:17:03,109 I can't believe that I fantasized 460 00:17:03,152 --> 00:17:05,894 about settling down in Punxsutawney with you. 461 00:17:05,937 --> 00:17:09,593 - Well, I can't believe I was gonna let you comb my hair. 462 00:17:09,637 --> 00:17:12,596 [laughing] Oh, dear, I'm so sorry. 463 00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:14,990 I need the bag back. I've got a dog in there. 464 00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:17,340 Thanks. Whew! 465 00:17:21,779 --> 00:17:21,953 . 466 00:17:21,997 --> 00:17:23,738 - There you are. 467 00:17:23,781 --> 00:17:26,088 Holy crap. Did you eat all that candy? 468 00:17:26,132 --> 00:17:28,656 - This is what I used to do in high school. 469 00:17:28,699 --> 00:17:29,831 Do you wanna ditch and go memorize 470 00:17:29,874 --> 00:17:31,093 the dance from "Toxic"? 471 00:17:31,137 --> 00:17:32,355 - I don't know what that is. 472 00:17:32,399 --> 00:17:34,401 - [humming Britney Spears' "Toxic"] 473 00:17:34,444 --> 00:17:36,664 - Actually, I'm gonna take off. 474 00:17:36,707 --> 00:17:38,883 My dad said to call a car and meet him at home, so-- 475 00:17:38,927 --> 00:17:41,582 - Ugh, dads. Am I right? 476 00:17:41,625 --> 00:17:44,759 As if our days could get any worse. 477 00:17:44,802 --> 00:17:47,066 - You mean the orchestra thing? - Mm-hmm. 478 00:17:47,109 --> 00:17:49,242 - Turns out, Abby totally blew the solo 479 00:17:49,285 --> 00:17:50,504 in front of the whole school, 480 00:17:50,547 --> 00:17:52,245 and Ceviche Twitched the whole thing, 481 00:17:52,288 --> 00:17:53,333 and everyone was like, 482 00:17:53,376 --> 00:17:55,248 "Orly should have had it anyway." 483 00:17:55,291 --> 00:17:58,599 And then Josh Booker, who's a senior at Westlake... 484 00:17:58,642 --> 00:18:00,253 - No. - Found out I went home early, 485 00:18:00,296 --> 00:18:03,560 and he DM'd me and asked if I was feeling okay. 486 00:18:03,604 --> 00:18:04,779 - Cool. [both laugh] 487 00:18:04,822 --> 00:18:06,781 High school's so awesome. 488 00:18:06,824 --> 00:18:10,001 I love that life is just high school forever. 489 00:18:10,045 --> 00:18:11,960 ♪ Josh Booker [door opens] 490 00:18:12,003 --> 00:18:15,355 - Okay, bye! - Yeah, I'm gonna go, too. 491 00:18:15,398 --> 00:18:18,662 - Oh, Dios mío. [door closes] 492 00:18:19,750 --> 00:18:22,753 - You did good in there, boss. - Thanks. 493 00:18:22,797 --> 00:18:26,670 I'm just glad you were there to ruin it all for me. 494 00:18:26,714 --> 00:18:29,282 - Hey, anytime you need some interruptus, 495 00:18:29,325 --> 00:18:30,631 I'm your gal. 496 00:18:30,674 --> 00:18:32,285 My class at Reed was the only one 497 00:18:32,328 --> 00:18:35,331 in the history of the school where no one got pregnant. 498 00:18:35,375 --> 00:18:37,246 [cell phone rings] 499 00:18:37,290 --> 00:18:38,465 - What is it, Jayden? 500 00:18:38,508 --> 00:18:40,293 - I can't decide between Derek and Valerie. 501 00:18:40,336 --> 00:18:42,817 - I'm gonna assume those are two speechwriters. 502 00:18:42,860 --> 00:18:44,906 - I mean, I know Valerie is super qualified, 503 00:18:44,949 --> 00:18:47,735 but isn't friendship more important than job goodness? 504 00:18:47,778 --> 00:18:49,824 Why do these people go on reality shows 505 00:18:49,867 --> 00:18:51,826 and say that they're not there to make friends? 506 00:18:51,869 --> 00:18:54,002 Are they crazy? - Arpi. 507 00:18:54,045 --> 00:18:56,004 - Listen up, Kwapis, in this job, 508 00:18:56,047 --> 00:18:58,180 your best and only friend is the city of Los Angeles. 509 00:18:58,224 --> 00:18:59,312 She will help you move. 510 00:18:59,355 --> 00:19:01,183 She will pick you up at the airport. 511 00:19:01,227 --> 00:19:03,316 She will show up at 3:00 a.m. with a pint of ice cream 512 00:19:03,359 --> 00:19:05,144 and tell you you're better off without him. 513 00:19:05,187 --> 00:19:06,797 "Him" being Fresno, maybe. I don't know. 514 00:19:06,841 --> 00:19:09,800 This is getting away from me. Do the right thing. 515 00:19:09,844 --> 00:19:12,673 - Yes, sir. - Hmm. 516 00:19:12,716 --> 00:19:15,806 This sorting facility isn't just about 517 00:19:15,850 --> 00:19:17,765 cleaning up my predecessor's mess. 518 00:19:17,808 --> 00:19:20,768 It's the start of a new, cleaner tomorrow 519 00:19:20,811 --> 00:19:22,422 for all of LA. 520 00:19:22,465 --> 00:19:23,988 - Now, that's a speech. 521 00:19:24,032 --> 00:19:25,729 He sounds like Winston Churchill 522 00:19:25,773 --> 00:19:27,340 or Glenn Close in "The Wife." 523 00:19:27,383 --> 00:19:28,819 - Thank you, Thomas. 524 00:19:28,863 --> 00:19:30,995 I thought the implicit zeugma of "clean" really-- 525 00:19:31,039 --> 00:19:34,085 - Ugh. Yeah, great job, Valerie. 526 00:19:34,129 --> 00:19:37,872 I'm so glad that I hired you and now all of Neil's speeches 527 00:19:37,915 --> 00:19:40,483 are "good" and "different from each other." 528 00:19:40,527 --> 00:19:42,485 [blows raspberry] 529 00:19:42,529 --> 00:19:45,749 - Even if it cost me a chance with Tarzan's bride. 530 00:19:45,793 --> 00:19:47,360 - And he's off script. 531 00:19:47,403 --> 00:19:49,884 - I just thought me and Derek would be best friends forever. 532 00:19:49,927 --> 00:19:51,886 Now he doesn't even return my texts. 533 00:19:51,929 --> 00:19:53,496 - Welcome to high school, Jayden, 534 00:19:53,540 --> 00:19:56,238 where everything sucks forever and-- 535 00:19:56,282 --> 00:19:58,545 "Orly Bremer followed you"? Orly Bremer followed me! 536 00:19:58,588 --> 00:20:00,242 I can't hang out with you anymore. 537 00:20:00,286 --> 00:20:01,591 Hey, girl... 538 00:20:04,942 --> 00:20:09,251 - Well, best friend, at least I got you. 539 00:20:09,295 --> 00:20:12,254 Ooh, why is my best friend so filthy? 540 00:20:12,298 --> 00:20:13,777 Bleh! 541 00:20:13,821 --> 00:20:15,475 - Do you guys know how hard it is 542 00:20:15,518 --> 00:20:17,259 to get a bee startup going? 543 00:20:17,303 --> 00:20:18,826 I mean, I got J.J. Abrams in early, 544 00:20:18,869 --> 00:20:20,219 but now this guy's calling me, 545 00:20:20,262 --> 00:20:21,742 like, 50 times a day like, "Where's my money?" 546 00:20:21,785 --> 00:20:23,265 I'm like, "I don't really know what I'm doing, 547 00:20:23,309 --> 00:20:24,832 but I hope they're in there making honey." 548 00:20:24,875 --> 00:20:26,921 I need them to work and focus. I'm taking new investors. 549 00:20:26,964 --> 00:20:28,575 Afterwards, just find me. 550 00:20:28,618 --> 00:20:30,751 - I am strongly opposed 551 00:20:30,794 --> 00:20:32,840 to these new energy-efficient streetlights. 552 00:20:32,883 --> 00:20:34,320 [sighs] You know what? 553 00:20:34,363 --> 00:20:35,843 Actually, I don't even care about the streetlights. 554 00:20:35,886 --> 00:20:37,323 I don't even live here. 555 00:20:37,366 --> 00:20:39,150 I just go to these town halls to get out of the house. 556 00:20:39,194 --> 00:20:40,413 I love my husband. 557 00:20:40,456 --> 00:20:41,718 I love his cooking. 558 00:20:41,762 --> 00:20:43,242 He's a wonderful father 559 00:20:43,285 --> 00:20:44,330 to our birds, 560 00:20:44,373 --> 00:20:45,853 but the music, it's just constant. 561 00:20:45,896 --> 00:20:46,984 I don't get it. 562 00:20:47,028 --> 00:20:48,551 Everything, whoa, all the time. 563 00:20:48,595 --> 00:20:49,770 I mean, what's the point? 564 00:20:49,813 --> 00:20:50,858 Why not just say it? 565 00:20:50,901 --> 00:20:51,902 It seems easier 566 00:20:51,946 --> 00:20:52,947 and less stressful. 567 00:20:52,990 --> 00:20:54,209 I mean, music is dumb, right? 568 00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:56,298 Do you know his last name's not even Legend? 569 00:20:56,342 --> 00:20:58,474 It's McGruff, like the crime dog. 570 00:20:58,518 --> 00:20:59,910 Anyway, anyone wanna go play 571 00:20:59,954 --> 00:21:01,434 paintball or something? 572 00:21:01,477 --> 00:21:02,435 I have a car, 573 00:21:02,478 --> 00:21:03,653 so I can drive us. 574 00:21:03,697 --> 00:21:06,003 All right. Okay. Go to hell, Culver City. 575 00:21:09,746 --> 00:21:11,748 - Good night, everybody. - Good night.