1 00:00:05,396 --> 00:00:07,137 - Yeah. Hey, Mikaela. 2 00:00:07,181 --> 00:00:08,573 Sorry. No, I'm here. 3 00:00:08,617 --> 00:00:12,012 I'm just having a bit of a rough start to the day. 4 00:00:12,055 --> 00:00:13,665 Yeah, no, my cat threw up in the bathtub 5 00:00:13,709 --> 00:00:14,666 while I was in it. 6 00:00:14,710 --> 00:00:16,494 Hold on. 7 00:00:16,538 --> 00:00:18,061 Come on. 8 00:00:18,105 --> 00:00:19,541 What? 9 00:00:19,584 --> 00:00:21,499 Okay, I'm coming! 10 00:00:21,543 --> 00:00:22,892 I'm coming! 11 00:00:34,817 --> 00:00:35,861 It's food truck day. 12 00:00:37,994 --> 00:00:40,910 It's food truck day! 13 00:00:50,876 --> 00:00:52,704 - There's so much old junk in these drawers. 14 00:00:52,748 --> 00:00:55,098 Look at this sad photo of city council from the '50s. 15 00:00:55,142 --> 00:00:57,709 - Wow. No one looks like us. 16 00:00:57,753 --> 00:00:59,189 - Oh, I don't know. 17 00:00:59,233 --> 00:01:00,321 That guy second from the left kinda looks like you, 18 00:01:00,364 --> 00:01:01,844 but he doesn't have the leg meat 19 00:01:01,887 --> 00:01:03,193 to almost pull off these pants. 20 00:01:03,237 --> 00:01:04,716 - 21 00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:07,371 Thank you. They're H&M single-use. 22 00:01:07,415 --> 00:01:10,244 - It's food truck day! 23 00:01:10,287 --> 00:01:12,202 - What? What is he saying? 24 00:01:12,246 --> 00:01:14,378 - Food...truck...day. 25 00:01:14,422 --> 00:01:15,945 It's the most best day of the month. 26 00:01:15,988 --> 00:01:18,861 Food trucks come from all over and they park outside 27 00:01:18,904 --> 00:01:21,733 and there's gonna be banh mi and poke bowls 28 00:01:21,777 --> 00:01:22,821 and, fingers crossed... 29 00:01:22,865 --> 00:01:23,866 - Okay, I don't have time to address 30 00:01:23,909 --> 00:01:24,780 how weird your fingers are. 31 00:01:24,823 --> 00:01:26,042 - Empanada Acoso. 32 00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:27,696 They drive in all the way from Riverside, 33 00:01:27,739 --> 00:01:30,264 and their empanadas are like soft, spicy full diapers 34 00:01:30,307 --> 00:01:31,526 for your tongue. 35 00:01:31,569 --> 00:01:32,962 - Oh, my God, could we actually get 36 00:01:33,005 --> 00:01:34,833 decent lunch food for once? 37 00:01:34,877 --> 00:01:36,313 We'll go down right after training. 38 00:01:36,357 --> 00:01:37,401 - After what? 39 00:01:37,445 --> 00:01:38,663 - Today's our mandatory 40 00:01:38,707 --> 00:01:40,448 "respect in the workplace" training session. 41 00:01:40,491 --> 00:01:43,233 - Oh, no! 42 00:01:43,277 --> 00:01:45,844 Oh, those things take forever! 43 00:01:45,888 --> 00:01:48,325 Oh, and then you can't leave until you pass a test, 44 00:01:48,369 --> 00:01:50,240 and by then, all the food trucks are out of food, 45 00:01:50,284 --> 00:01:52,112 so they're just trucks again! 46 00:01:52,155 --> 00:01:53,635 I mean, I love trucks, but-- 47 00:01:53,678 --> 00:01:56,899 Oh, God, today is an emotional Minions ride. 48 00:01:56,942 --> 00:01:59,554 - Dude, it'll be fast. - Yeah, we're young. We get it. 49 00:01:59,597 --> 00:02:02,122 - Yeah, we watch a video, ask no questions, 50 00:02:02,165 --> 00:02:03,558 take a quiz, we're done. 51 00:02:03,601 --> 00:02:05,951 - And then we empanada. Hard. 52 00:02:05,995 --> 00:02:07,866 - Yeah. - 53 00:02:10,086 --> 00:02:11,261 Oh, hey. 54 00:02:11,305 --> 00:02:12,654 I can help you with that. - Thank you. 55 00:02:12,697 --> 00:02:14,351 - If that's okay. - Yes, of course. 56 00:02:14,395 --> 00:02:15,787 - Women are strong too. 57 00:02:15,831 --> 00:02:17,789 Strong like bull. 58 00:02:17,833 --> 00:02:19,704 Cows. Women are cows, not-- 59 00:02:19,748 --> 00:02:21,663 - It's fine. Thank you. - Yeah. 60 00:02:22,707 --> 00:02:25,275 - Arpi Meskimen, deputy mayor. 61 00:02:25,319 --> 00:02:26,842 - Oh. Hi. I'm Susan. 62 00:02:26,885 --> 00:02:28,060 I'm the discussion leader. 63 00:02:28,104 --> 00:02:30,585 - You know, Susan, I piloted this program 64 00:02:30,628 --> 00:02:34,154 back in the '80s when city hall didn't even give women chairs. 65 00:02:34,197 --> 00:02:36,068 We were just offered laps to sit on. 66 00:02:36,112 --> 00:02:37,461 So you're welcome, Mikaela. 67 00:02:37,505 --> 00:02:39,550 - I am welcome. I know. 68 00:02:39,594 --> 00:02:40,769 - Yeah. 69 00:02:40,812 --> 00:02:42,466 I still carry the pepper spray I used 70 00:02:42,510 --> 00:02:44,512 to go safely back and forth to the copier. 71 00:02:44,555 --> 00:02:46,253 - Well, your program has been a great base 72 00:02:46,296 --> 00:02:48,342 for us to work off of. 73 00:02:53,434 --> 00:02:55,175 Thank you so much for-- - No need to thank me. 74 00:02:55,218 --> 00:02:56,480 You're gonna do great. 75 00:02:56,524 --> 00:02:57,742 Trust the material. 76 00:03:03,095 --> 00:03:04,880 - Empanada Acoso just pulled up. 77 00:03:04,923 --> 00:03:07,012 And by the way the truck is riding on the shocks, 78 00:03:07,056 --> 00:03:08,144 I think they have pork. 79 00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:09,232 - Great. Shh. 80 00:03:09,276 --> 00:03:11,191 - So if we're all here, we can-- 81 00:03:11,234 --> 00:03:12,322 - Sorry, sorry, sorry. 82 00:03:12,366 --> 00:03:13,845 I was in the little boys' room, 83 00:03:13,889 --> 00:03:16,196 where it is okay to take out your penis. 84 00:03:16,239 --> 00:03:17,588 Hi. I'm the mayor. 85 00:03:17,632 --> 00:03:19,851 - Hi. Susan Craw. I didn't expect you to be here. 86 00:03:19,895 --> 00:03:21,853 Usually the big shots don't show up to these things. 87 00:03:21,897 --> 00:03:23,812 - Yeah, sir, I was just gonna use the autopen 88 00:03:23,855 --> 00:03:25,030 to sign you in. 89 00:03:25,074 --> 00:03:26,206 - Are you kidding? No, no. 90 00:03:26,249 --> 00:03:28,556 This is important stuff, very important. 91 00:03:28,599 --> 00:03:31,907 I have a daughter, and I wanna get this right for her sake. 92 00:03:31,950 --> 00:03:33,300 - Right. Right. Yes. 93 00:03:33,343 --> 00:03:36,216 Okay, so I usually begin by showing a video 94 00:03:36,259 --> 00:03:38,087 of a common workplace scenario. 95 00:03:38,130 --> 00:03:39,654 - A video? Huh. 96 00:03:39,697 --> 00:03:42,613 So you don't use my illustrations anymore? 97 00:03:42,657 --> 00:03:44,746 - No, we do not. Okay. 98 00:03:44,789 --> 00:03:46,748 - 99 00:03:46,791 --> 00:03:49,577 - Oh, hi, Michelle. What's wrong? 100 00:03:49,620 --> 00:03:51,405 - Someone hung a cartoon in the break room 101 00:03:51,448 --> 00:03:52,928 that upset me, Carlos. 102 00:03:52,971 --> 00:03:55,626 - The one about Asians being good at math? 103 00:03:55,670 --> 00:03:57,367 Tell your supervisor. 104 00:03:57,411 --> 00:03:59,456 - I don't wanna be a squeaky wheel. 105 00:03:59,500 --> 00:04:01,545 - I feel harassed by the acting in these. 106 00:04:01,589 --> 00:04:03,504 - What kind of business is this supposed to be? 107 00:04:03,547 --> 00:04:06,550 The filing system makes zero sense. 108 00:04:06,594 --> 00:04:08,857 - Hey, Barbara, did Gunther email you 109 00:04:08,900 --> 00:04:10,685 his latest bodybuilding photos? 110 00:04:10,728 --> 00:04:13,557 - Yes. Again. 111 00:04:13,601 --> 00:04:15,603 Those photos make me uncomfortable. 112 00:04:15,646 --> 00:04:18,214 I asked him not to send them to me anymore. 113 00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:19,955 - Aww. That's how my parents met. 114 00:04:19,998 --> 00:04:24,394 - And I asked him to stop giving me backrubs. 115 00:04:24,438 --> 00:04:25,961 - 116 00:04:26,004 --> 00:04:27,092 Oh, no! 117 00:04:27,136 --> 00:04:28,529 I just got an email 118 00:04:28,572 --> 00:04:30,705 that Gunther is taking you off the Suncoast account. 119 00:04:30,748 --> 00:04:34,099 - That's my biggest account! 120 00:04:34,709 --> 00:04:36,711 - Susan, Susan, could you pause it for a second? 121 00:04:36,754 --> 00:04:38,800 I've already got so many questions. 122 00:04:38,843 --> 00:04:41,498 Okay, now, of course, backrubs are inappropriate, 123 00:04:41,542 --> 00:04:44,284 but what about side hugs? 124 00:04:44,327 --> 00:04:45,415 Those are okay, right, 125 00:04:45,459 --> 00:04:47,374 because your privates are parallel. 126 00:04:47,417 --> 00:04:49,071 - I'm sure you're a great hugger, 127 00:04:49,114 --> 00:04:51,639 but it's probably best not to hug anyone. 128 00:04:51,682 --> 00:04:55,033 - Could I ask to touch a white man's hair? 129 00:04:55,077 --> 00:04:56,644 - Just--just don't. 130 00:04:56,687 --> 00:04:58,994 - 'Cause what if he's gay? Yeah. Shoot. Of course. 131 00:04:59,864 --> 00:05:02,650 My point being there's always an exception 132 00:05:02,693 --> 00:05:04,129 if you think about it. 133 00:05:04,173 --> 00:05:05,783 - Shut up, shut up, shut up. - 134 00:05:05,827 --> 00:05:07,350 - Shut up. 135 00:05:07,394 --> 00:05:09,613 - Yes, I guess that would be an exception, 136 00:05:09,657 --> 00:05:12,050 but I don't think anyone is going to ask you 137 00:05:12,094 --> 00:05:13,617 to "help them breastfeed." 138 00:05:13,661 --> 00:05:16,446 So does anybody else have any questions? 139 00:05:16,490 --> 00:05:18,274 - Oh, sorry, I do. Yeah. 140 00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:19,493 I have a list of words 141 00:05:19,536 --> 00:05:23,323 that I wanna see if I can still say them. 142 00:05:23,366 --> 00:05:24,498 "Jazz" 143 00:05:24,541 --> 00:05:26,674 and also "jazzy." 144 00:05:26,717 --> 00:05:29,372 - It's 12:00 p.m.! Can we take the test already? 145 00:05:29,416 --> 00:05:30,460 - Yes, Jayden. - Yeah, I agree. 146 00:05:30,504 --> 00:05:31,853 - Great idea. - I agree with Jayden. 147 00:05:31,896 --> 00:05:33,637 - Yes, we've probably discussed enough already, 148 00:05:33,681 --> 00:05:35,160 so I'm just gonna go ahead and pass these out. 149 00:05:40,296 --> 00:05:42,254 - Oh, boy, this is awkward. 150 00:05:42,298 --> 00:05:43,517 - What is? 151 00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:46,302 - The lady running the harassment seminar 152 00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:47,347 is into me. 153 00:05:47,390 --> 00:05:48,826 - You think that young-- 154 00:05:48,870 --> 00:05:50,480 - I'm just as shocked as you are, 155 00:05:50,524 --> 00:05:52,482 but I'm telling you, there's a vibe. 156 00:05:52,526 --> 00:05:55,746 - Hey, no chatting, Mr. Side Hugs. 157 00:05:55,790 --> 00:05:58,096 - Am I allowed to flirt back? 158 00:05:58,140 --> 00:05:59,620 I mean, I wanna be respectful, 159 00:05:59,663 --> 00:06:02,362 but I'm also a human being looking for connection, 160 00:06:02,405 --> 00:06:04,015 but I don't wanna get sued. 161 00:06:04,059 --> 00:06:07,541 But 20 years ago, I would've really sealed this deal. 162 00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:11,545 Boy, this is a... - Don't say it. 163 00:06:11,588 --> 00:06:14,548 - Scary time for men. 164 00:06:17,420 --> 00:06:19,030 - Okay, everyone, take one more minute 165 00:06:19,074 --> 00:06:20,858 to finish adding up your scores. 166 00:06:20,902 --> 00:06:22,817 - Hey, Susan. 167 00:06:22,860 --> 00:06:24,035 I got 100. 168 00:06:24,079 --> 00:06:26,081 And I feel like the credit goes to you. 169 00:06:28,431 --> 00:06:30,520 - Oh, a zero? 170 00:06:30,564 --> 00:06:33,480 Dang. No empanadas for you. 171 00:06:33,523 --> 00:06:36,004 - Okay, everyone. Thank you so much. 172 00:06:36,047 --> 00:06:38,920 Now, if you scored below a 50... 173 00:06:40,617 --> 00:06:42,532 You are free to go. Great job. 174 00:06:42,576 --> 00:06:43,707 - Wait, what? 175 00:06:43,751 --> 00:06:45,709 - Oh, it's like golf scoring. 176 00:06:45,753 --> 00:06:47,885 Now, that makes much more sense. 177 00:06:47,929 --> 00:06:50,714 - No, not possible. I don't fail tests. 178 00:06:50,758 --> 00:06:52,542 - I've lived all these examples. 179 00:06:52,586 --> 00:06:53,978 I could've written this test. 180 00:06:54,022 --> 00:06:55,545 - I did write this test! 181 00:06:55,589 --> 00:06:57,155 And damn it, Susan, 182 00:06:57,199 --> 00:07:00,550 I hate to be the one to say this, but... 183 00:07:00,594 --> 00:07:02,291 I'd like to speak to your manager. 184 00:07:02,334 --> 00:07:03,379 - No, Arpi! - No, no. 185 00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:04,728 Karen, no. - No, Arpi. 186 00:07:04,772 --> 00:07:05,903 - My God, you have the haircut and everything. 187 00:07:07,470 --> 00:07:07,688 . 188 00:07:07,731 --> 00:07:09,907 - I've never failed a test in my life. 189 00:07:09,951 --> 00:07:12,127 I got a 10 on the Apgar, a 2390 on my SATs, 190 00:07:12,170 --> 00:07:13,694 and a BuzzFeed quiz I took earlier said I'm, 191 00:07:13,737 --> 00:07:16,436 oh, I don't know, Rachel from "Friends." 192 00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:19,047 - Where are you going? 193 00:07:19,090 --> 00:07:20,701 - To get my food. I passed. 194 00:07:20,744 --> 00:07:22,485 - Should we just break for lunch now? 195 00:07:22,529 --> 00:07:24,182 And then we can all come back. 196 00:07:24,226 --> 00:07:25,488 - No, no, no, no, no. 197 00:07:25,532 --> 00:07:27,098 We're gonna stay here until we get this right, 198 00:07:27,142 --> 00:07:29,492 out of respect for Susan, 199 00:07:29,536 --> 00:07:31,668 who is being so incredible to us. 200 00:07:31,712 --> 00:07:32,887 - Ugh. 201 00:07:32,930 --> 00:07:35,803 Give me a cardboard box full of breaks. 202 00:07:35,846 --> 00:07:37,500 - Wait. Wait. Jayden? 203 00:07:37,544 --> 00:07:39,371 Can you get me a poke bowl with brown rice and extra sesame... 204 00:07:39,415 --> 00:07:40,503 - I want a taco trio from The Lime Truck: 205 00:07:40,547 --> 00:07:42,244 one pulled chicken, zesty guac; 206 00:07:42,287 --> 00:07:43,767 two pork, no guac; and an horchata. 207 00:07:43,811 --> 00:07:45,682 - Pizza and a cappuccino, please and thank you, Jayden. 208 00:07:45,726 --> 00:07:47,075 - Got it. 209 00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:50,774 - Okay. 210 00:07:50,818 --> 00:07:52,689 So we are going to review the scenarios as a group 211 00:07:52,733 --> 00:07:54,430 so that you can see where you went wrong. 212 00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:56,084 - Yeah, well, I don't think I got any wrong, 213 00:07:56,127 --> 00:07:57,085 so I can't wait. 214 00:07:57,128 --> 00:07:58,521 - All right. 215 00:07:58,565 --> 00:08:02,699 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 216 00:08:04,614 --> 00:08:05,528 - Yay. 217 00:08:05,572 --> 00:08:08,705 - So how old are you, Barbara? 218 00:08:08,749 --> 00:08:10,707 - Rude! - Ow! 219 00:08:10,751 --> 00:08:12,404 That hurt my arm. 220 00:08:14,668 --> 00:08:17,453 - All right, so who, if anyone, here 221 00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:19,237 should be reported to Human Resources? 222 00:08:19,281 --> 00:08:21,152 - The guy who asked his coworker's age. 223 00:08:21,196 --> 00:08:23,067 - The horrible woman who hit the man. 224 00:08:23,111 --> 00:08:24,460 - Um, everyone? 225 00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,549 Forced celebrations produce anxiety, 226 00:08:26,593 --> 00:08:29,247 the concept of birthdays is systemically pro-life, 227 00:08:29,291 --> 00:08:31,032 and singing discriminates against... 228 00:08:31,075 --> 00:08:33,077 ♪ People like me ♪ 229 00:08:33,121 --> 00:08:35,558 ♪ Who can't sing ♪ 230 00:08:35,602 --> 00:08:37,691 And frankly, Barbara's agreeing to all of this 231 00:08:37,734 --> 00:08:39,083 makes her complicit. 232 00:08:39,127 --> 00:08:42,478 - Yeah, I thought they were having a nice time. 233 00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:43,305 - Okay. 234 00:08:43,348 --> 00:08:45,002 So the correct answer is, 235 00:08:45,046 --> 00:08:46,787 no one should be reported to HR. 236 00:08:46,830 --> 00:08:49,093 It may be bad manners to ask Barbara's age, 237 00:08:49,137 --> 00:08:50,921 but Carlos should only be reported 238 00:08:50,965 --> 00:08:52,140 if he denies Barbara 239 00:08:52,183 --> 00:08:54,055 a work opportunity based on her age. 240 00:08:54,098 --> 00:08:55,578 - So I was the closest on that one. 241 00:08:55,622 --> 00:08:56,884 Thank you, Susan. 242 00:08:57,885 --> 00:08:59,016 - - 243 00:08:59,060 --> 00:09:00,583 Hey, hey. 244 00:09:00,627 --> 00:09:02,846 Before we hop back into the next scenario, 245 00:09:02,890 --> 00:09:04,761 another question? 246 00:09:04,805 --> 00:09:06,415 What if you sense a vibe? 247 00:09:06,458 --> 00:09:08,591 - What do you mean? - Well, you know, 248 00:09:08,635 --> 00:09:10,506 what if you sense someone's attracted to you? 249 00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:12,073 - Never assume there's a vibe. 250 00:09:12,116 --> 00:09:13,291 - Oh, come on. We're all adults. 251 00:09:13,335 --> 00:09:14,858 You can tell when somebody's into you. 252 00:09:14,902 --> 00:09:16,164 They smile at you. 253 00:09:16,207 --> 00:09:17,774 - Smiles don't mean jack. 254 00:09:17,818 --> 00:09:19,776 I mean, women also smile 255 00:09:19,820 --> 00:09:22,605 in social situations that make them uncomfortable. 256 00:09:22,649 --> 00:09:26,391 Susan knows there are five distinct female smiles. 257 00:09:26,435 --> 00:09:29,786 Smile one: teeth showing, slightly open mouth. 258 00:09:29,830 --> 00:09:31,614 "I'm attracted to you." 259 00:09:31,658 --> 00:09:34,791 Smile two: relaxed but closed mouth, eye contact. 260 00:09:34,835 --> 00:09:37,402 "I prefer to be friends." - Okay, I've done that one. 261 00:09:37,446 --> 00:09:39,317 - Smile three: tucked-in lips. 262 00:09:39,361 --> 00:09:41,581 "Mm. I am politely repulsed." 263 00:09:41,624 --> 00:09:43,974 - Yup, Simon Cowell at baggage claim. 264 00:09:44,018 --> 00:09:47,369 - Now, the last two variations factor in race and class. 265 00:09:47,412 --> 00:09:49,632 Smile four is for men of my same race 266 00:09:49,676 --> 00:09:51,721 but lower socioeconomic standing. 267 00:09:51,765 --> 00:09:54,115 It says, "Hey, fellow Caucasian." 268 00:09:54,158 --> 00:09:55,507 "I'm not a B-word, but I already got" 269 00:09:55,551 --> 00:09:56,944 "an old man at home, you dig?" 270 00:09:56,987 --> 00:09:58,162 - All right, Arpi. Thank you so much for that. 271 00:09:58,206 --> 00:09:59,468 - However, say I'm winked at 272 00:09:59,511 --> 00:10:01,688 by the Eritrean American fishmonger at Ralph's. 273 00:10:01,731 --> 00:10:04,212 Tight lips, eye contact, slight bow says, 274 00:10:04,255 --> 00:10:05,561 "I respect your culture and position," 275 00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:07,868 "but I'm not interested in your sexual advances." 276 00:10:07,911 --> 00:10:08,912 Honestly, I'm surprised 277 00:10:08,956 --> 00:10:10,348 this stuff isn't in the literature. 278 00:10:10,392 --> 00:10:11,828 - Yes. Me too. 279 00:10:11,872 --> 00:10:15,789 So to answer your actual question, sir, 280 00:10:15,832 --> 00:10:18,792 you may ask a coworker out on a date one time. 281 00:10:18,835 --> 00:10:22,012 If you receive anything less than an enthusiastic yes, 282 00:10:22,056 --> 00:10:23,405 then you may not ask again. 283 00:10:23,448 --> 00:10:25,537 - Jeez. What if you biff it? 284 00:10:25,581 --> 00:10:29,367 - Oh, I have faith in you, Neil. 285 00:10:29,411 --> 00:10:31,848 - First name. Big-time vibe. 286 00:10:31,892 --> 00:10:32,936 - Okay, next scenario. 287 00:10:35,417 --> 00:10:36,766 - Ladies first. 288 00:10:36,810 --> 00:10:38,855 - Oh, okay. 289 00:10:40,596 --> 00:10:43,033 - Finally. We're alone. 290 00:10:43,077 --> 00:10:45,383 - I consent. Let's do this. 291 00:10:51,607 --> 00:10:53,653 - All right, so which employees, if any, 292 00:10:53,696 --> 00:10:55,437 are violating city policy? 293 00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:57,874 - See, I couldn't get this one. Is there tongue? 294 00:10:57,918 --> 00:10:59,223 - I don't know. It doesn't matter. 295 00:10:59,267 --> 00:11:00,572 - This doesn't track. 296 00:11:00,616 --> 00:11:02,270 Carlos and Michelle were so mad at each other 297 00:11:02,313 --> 00:11:03,488 at Barbara's birthday lunch. 298 00:11:03,532 --> 00:11:05,621 - What? No. These don't tell a story. 299 00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:07,536 - I didn't like it when Gunther opened the door for Barbara. 300 00:11:07,579 --> 00:11:09,016 It was patronizing. 301 00:11:09,059 --> 00:11:10,278 - Sure, but you can't call HR 302 00:11:10,321 --> 00:11:11,932 every time someone holds a door for you. 303 00:11:11,975 --> 00:11:13,455 - I can if it makes me uncomfortable. 304 00:11:13,498 --> 00:11:15,239 - Wait, that guy was Gunther? 305 00:11:15,283 --> 00:11:16,458 Okay, there's gonna be a twist. 306 00:11:16,501 --> 00:11:17,720 - No. This is not a movie. 307 00:11:17,764 --> 00:11:19,374 There's no narrative. - Are you sure? 308 00:11:19,417 --> 00:11:21,028 Gunther demotes Barbara on her birthday, 309 00:11:21,071 --> 00:11:22,420 then holds the door for her? 310 00:11:22,464 --> 00:11:24,379 Villain. - These are different days. 311 00:11:24,422 --> 00:11:25,641 - Then why are they in the same clothes? 312 00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:27,295 - And who got the Suncoast account? 313 00:11:27,338 --> 00:11:29,732 - You're supposed to focus on the two that were kissing. 314 00:11:29,776 --> 00:11:31,734 - Yeah, was there an intimacy coordinator on that set? 315 00:11:31,778 --> 00:11:33,040 Because until that's confirmed, 316 00:11:33,083 --> 00:11:34,606 I don't think I should even be watching this. 317 00:11:34,650 --> 00:11:36,739 - All right, all right, so the answer is, 318 00:11:36,783 --> 00:11:39,220 even consensual relationships should be reported. 319 00:11:39,263 --> 00:11:40,612 - Really? 320 00:11:40,656 --> 00:11:41,918 But what if the secret is part of the thrill? 321 00:11:41,962 --> 00:11:44,965 - Susan! I wrote that question in 1989. 322 00:11:45,008 --> 00:11:47,532 The correct answer is, the kiss is fine 323 00:11:47,576 --> 00:11:49,099 because Carlos and Michelle are equals. 324 00:11:49,143 --> 00:11:50,448 It's consensual. 325 00:11:50,492 --> 00:11:52,015 And they're not bumming everyone else out 326 00:11:52,059 --> 00:11:53,060 by doing it in public. 327 00:11:53,103 --> 00:11:54,365 - Actually, it's not fine, 328 00:11:54,409 --> 00:11:55,758 because their relationship would impact 329 00:11:55,802 --> 00:11:57,151 dynamics in the workplace. 330 00:11:57,194 --> 00:11:58,674 - Did you just "actually" me? 331 00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:00,720 - Did you "you're welcome" me before we even started? 332 00:12:00,763 --> 00:12:01,851 - What is that supposed to mean? 333 00:12:01,895 --> 00:12:03,461 - "I started this program, Ms. Shaw." 334 00:12:03,505 --> 00:12:04,767 "I'm a trailblazer." 335 00:12:04,811 --> 00:12:06,769 "High fives for white feminism." 336 00:12:06,813 --> 00:12:08,379 - One, you're bad at voices. 337 00:12:08,423 --> 00:12:10,991 And two, I don't high-five white feminism. 338 00:12:11,034 --> 00:12:13,689 Clearly you haven't read my most recent op-ed 339 00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:15,473 for the "Vallarta Noticias," 340 00:12:15,517 --> 00:12:16,866 or you wouldn't be this worked up. 341 00:12:16,910 --> 00:12:19,477 - Okay, Arpi, you are centering yourself, 342 00:12:19,521 --> 00:12:20,827 you are tone policing, 343 00:12:20,870 --> 00:12:23,873 and you're displaying a white savior complex. 344 00:12:23,917 --> 00:12:26,354 - My apologies. I will be quiet. 345 00:12:27,050 --> 00:12:29,183 - Let's move on. - But I worked really hard! 346 00:12:29,226 --> 00:12:31,272 My boss used to put his fingers in my mouth. 347 00:12:31,315 --> 00:12:34,449 He'd say, "Does this Coffee mate taste old to you?" 348 00:12:34,492 --> 00:12:36,364 - I went to Hooters once with OJ Simpson. 349 00:12:36,407 --> 00:12:37,887 - I'm so hungry, that sounds good to me. 350 00:12:37,931 --> 00:12:39,280 - And this isn't gonna go over well... 351 00:12:39,323 --> 00:12:41,282 - Then don't say it! - They always still say it. 352 00:12:41,325 --> 00:12:43,458 - You wouldn't have your job if it weren't for gals like me. 353 00:12:43,501 --> 00:12:44,981 And I'm sorry 354 00:12:45,025 --> 00:12:47,375 if that kind of door opening also offends you. 355 00:12:47,418 --> 00:12:49,333 - Okay, boomer. Have infinity seats. 356 00:12:49,377 --> 00:12:50,552 - What does that mean? 357 00:12:50,595 --> 00:12:52,380 Is that a crack about all the lap-sitting 358 00:12:52,423 --> 00:12:54,077 my generation was forced to do? 359 00:12:54,121 --> 00:12:55,818 - She's saying she wants you to retire and go home 360 00:12:55,862 --> 00:12:57,994 because you're the Pelosi to her low-res AOC. 361 00:12:58,038 --> 00:13:00,562 - - You know what, Mr. Tomás? 362 00:13:00,605 --> 00:13:02,216 - There's a special place in hell for gays 363 00:13:02,259 --> 00:13:04,174 that encourage women not to support other women. 364 00:13:04,218 --> 00:13:05,610 - I know. 365 00:13:05,654 --> 00:13:07,395 It's called Bravo, and we're doing amazing on it. 366 00:13:07,438 --> 00:13:08,831 - Susan, I'd like credit for knowing 367 00:13:08,875 --> 00:13:10,180 that I shouldn't talk right now. 368 00:13:10,224 --> 00:13:11,355 - Good for you, yes. 369 00:13:11,399 --> 00:13:12,835 - Oh, heavenly Father! 370 00:13:12,879 --> 00:13:14,619 Everybody get back. - What is he doing? 371 00:13:14,663 --> 00:13:16,708 - Oh, God, it's so much! 372 00:13:16,752 --> 00:13:18,058 - Why does he have all those soups? 373 00:13:18,101 --> 00:13:20,190 - Excuse me. Please move. - No one ordered soup! 374 00:13:20,234 --> 00:13:22,802 - I did not get tops for these. 375 00:13:22,845 --> 00:13:24,934 - No! - Oh, no! Come on! 376 00:13:24,978 --> 00:13:26,457 - Oh, God, why? 377 00:13:27,981 --> 00:13:30,418 - Oh, God, no! 378 00:13:30,461 --> 00:13:32,812 The gelato bike is done for the day. 379 00:13:34,552 --> 00:13:34,770 . 380 00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:36,641 - I'm just saying, Susan, 381 00:13:36,685 --> 00:13:39,296 at some point, the left is eating itself... 382 00:13:39,340 --> 00:13:41,081 - Oh, my God, kill me. - While the right gains power. 383 00:13:41,124 --> 00:13:43,170 - Okay, Arpi, Arpi, Arpi. 384 00:13:43,213 --> 00:13:45,607 We know now that microaggressions can add up 385 00:13:45,650 --> 00:13:47,783 and affect a person's performance 386 00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:48,915 and their mental health. 387 00:13:48,958 --> 00:13:50,133 - Wha-- - Okay, 388 00:13:50,177 --> 00:13:51,874 but just because someone calls you out 389 00:13:51,918 --> 00:13:53,267 doesn't mean you're a bad person. 390 00:13:53,310 --> 00:13:55,138 - - We all make mistakes. 391 00:13:55,182 --> 00:13:57,314 I'm sure that someone's ignorance 392 00:13:57,358 --> 00:13:59,447 has made you uncomfortable. 393 00:13:59,490 --> 00:14:01,841 - Bad news, guys. 394 00:14:01,884 --> 00:14:02,929 I got mugged. 395 00:14:02,972 --> 00:14:04,495 They were ninjas, so I-- 396 00:14:04,539 --> 00:14:05,801 - We saw you fall! - Lie better! 397 00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:07,020 - Fine. 398 00:14:07,063 --> 00:14:08,282 I dropped everything. 399 00:14:08,325 --> 00:14:09,587 Okay, but it's your fault. 400 00:14:09,631 --> 00:14:11,067 I knew what I wanted, 401 00:14:11,111 --> 00:14:12,982 but by the time I got to Empanada Acoso, 402 00:14:13,026 --> 00:14:15,158 they were out of everything 403 00:14:15,202 --> 00:14:18,118 except for lavender and fennel popsicles. 404 00:14:18,161 --> 00:14:19,728 I hate them so much. 405 00:14:19,771 --> 00:14:22,470 - Okay. Okay. I've got a microaggression. 406 00:14:22,513 --> 00:14:25,342 Yesterday Jayden waited for me to walk up the stairs with him, 407 00:14:25,386 --> 00:14:27,127 and it made me feel like an old grandma 408 00:14:27,170 --> 00:14:28,563 in a Life Alert commercial. 409 00:14:28,606 --> 00:14:30,434 I was in a bad mood the rest of the day. 410 00:14:30,478 --> 00:14:32,219 So should we fire him? 411 00:14:32,262 --> 00:14:34,874 Or just have an angry mob Tweet him to death? 412 00:14:34,917 --> 00:14:36,484 Ahh! - Sit down, Arpi. 413 00:14:36,527 --> 00:14:38,486 - What? The only reason I was waiting for you 414 00:14:38,529 --> 00:14:40,314 was so I didn't have to walk by myself! 415 00:14:40,357 --> 00:14:42,490 Because when I do, Tommy grabs my tummy 416 00:14:42,533 --> 00:14:44,492 and makes me pay a tummy tax. 417 00:14:44,535 --> 00:14:46,798 - Tommy, that is not acceptable. 418 00:14:46,842 --> 00:14:49,889 - Okay, but it's not sexual. I'm just being mean. 419 00:14:49,932 --> 00:14:51,368 - Well, it's oppressive. 420 00:14:51,412 --> 00:14:52,630 Honestly, I didn't like it 421 00:14:52,674 --> 00:14:54,241 when you touched my thigh this morning. 422 00:14:54,284 --> 00:14:55,546 - I didn't like it either. 423 00:14:55,590 --> 00:14:57,722 It's not harassment if both people hate it. 424 00:14:57,766 --> 00:15:00,073 - No. The rules apply to everyone. 425 00:15:00,116 --> 00:15:01,901 - So I'm the Gunther? No. No, no, no. 426 00:15:01,944 --> 00:15:03,119 I failed this test 427 00:15:03,163 --> 00:15:04,991 because it doesn't reflect my experience. 428 00:15:05,034 --> 00:15:07,123 I'm a gazelle taking a fish test. 429 00:15:07,167 --> 00:15:08,690 - It doesn't reflect me either! 430 00:15:08,733 --> 00:15:10,866 I'm a nice boy who doesn't touch anyone. 431 00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:14,174 Yet every creepy guy in this pamphlet looks exactly like me. 432 00:15:14,217 --> 00:15:15,871 - I thought that was you. 433 00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:17,090 - It's not fair. 434 00:15:17,133 --> 00:15:18,874 I don't harass anyone. 435 00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:20,832 I'm just sweet little Jayden. 436 00:15:20,876 --> 00:15:22,356 - No, don't do that. 437 00:15:22,399 --> 00:15:23,705 - All right, if I'm not allowed to be mean, 438 00:15:23,748 --> 00:15:25,359 he's not allowed to talk like a British baby. 439 00:15:25,402 --> 00:15:27,361 - It's how I make myself nonthreatening. 440 00:15:27,404 --> 00:15:28,971 - Oh, my God! - Seriously, stop. 441 00:15:29,015 --> 00:15:30,320 - Stop that! 442 00:15:30,364 --> 00:15:32,235 - Batman did it. Batman. 443 00:15:32,279 --> 00:15:34,585 - I swear to God I will fire you. 444 00:15:34,629 --> 00:15:35,760 - Okay, okay. Jayden. Jayden. 445 00:15:35,804 --> 00:15:37,240 You don't even need to be here right now 446 00:15:37,284 --> 00:15:38,502 because you passed. 447 00:15:38,546 --> 00:15:40,200 And actually, all of you could learn 448 00:15:40,243 --> 00:15:41,375 a lot from Jayden. 449 00:15:41,418 --> 00:15:44,073 - Actually, I cheated. 450 00:15:44,117 --> 00:15:45,640 - You what? 451 00:15:45,683 --> 00:15:47,947 - I ch-- - No, talk in an adult voice. 452 00:15:47,990 --> 00:15:49,992 - I cheated, okay? 453 00:15:50,036 --> 00:15:53,213 When I was helping you set up, I memorized your answer key. 454 00:15:53,256 --> 00:15:55,041 First column is E, C, B, D, D, C, 455 00:15:55,084 --> 00:15:56,738 Every Creepy Boy Does Daddy's-- 456 00:15:56,781 --> 00:15:59,219 - You cheated on the test so you could go get empanadas? 457 00:15:59,262 --> 00:16:01,003 - What empanadas, Arpi? 458 00:16:01,047 --> 00:16:02,396 What empanadas? 459 00:16:02,439 --> 00:16:04,006 - Okay. Okay. Enough. Enough. 460 00:16:04,050 --> 00:16:06,052 Look, take a deep breath, Jayden. 461 00:16:06,095 --> 00:16:08,358 All right, let's just face it. 462 00:16:08,402 --> 00:16:11,535 No one here knows what the correct answers are. 463 00:16:11,579 --> 00:16:13,233 We just wanna do the right thing 464 00:16:13,276 --> 00:16:16,105 because these new rules are important. 465 00:16:16,149 --> 00:16:18,803 And, Susan, I'm starting to understand 466 00:16:18,847 --> 00:16:20,370 what you want from me. 467 00:16:20,414 --> 00:16:22,677 So here in broad daylight 468 00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:25,723 in front of these various witnesses... 469 00:16:26,768 --> 00:16:29,945 I'm gonna ask you this one time. 470 00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:32,078 Susan, do you wanna have dinner 471 00:16:32,121 --> 00:16:34,950 on a clothing-optional yacht with me? 472 00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:36,212 - Sir, ew. 473 00:16:37,387 --> 00:16:39,041 - No. Thank you. 474 00:16:39,085 --> 00:16:40,347 But good job, I guess, 475 00:16:40,390 --> 00:16:42,827 because you did ask appropriately. 476 00:16:44,568 --> 00:16:46,135 - Huh? 477 00:16:46,179 --> 00:16:47,789 I'm not going crazy. 478 00:16:47,832 --> 00:16:49,617 There was a vibe here. 479 00:16:49,660 --> 00:16:51,314 - Now it's getting a little inappropriate. 480 00:16:51,358 --> 00:16:52,576 - Respect the no, sir. 481 00:16:52,620 --> 00:16:55,405 Susan, take Sergeant Peps. 482 00:16:55,449 --> 00:16:57,103 - 483 00:16:59,409 --> 00:17:00,802 - Jiminy Cricket! 484 00:17:00,845 --> 00:17:03,196 It must have rusted apart 'cause I swim with it. 485 00:17:03,239 --> 00:17:05,241 - Oh, you Karen. 486 00:17:05,285 --> 00:17:06,460 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 487 00:17:06,503 --> 00:17:08,636 That was the pain talking. - No problem. 488 00:17:08,679 --> 00:17:10,159 - Whoever this is, please stop touching me! 489 00:17:10,203 --> 00:17:11,465 - Here, you can put these on your eyes. 490 00:17:11,508 --> 00:17:12,814 - What is that? 491 00:17:12,857 --> 00:17:14,120 - Don't be scared. 492 00:17:14,163 --> 00:17:15,469 They're only ice lollies. 493 00:17:15,512 --> 00:17:17,645 - Oh, my God! Please stop talking like that! 494 00:17:17,688 --> 00:17:20,735 You people are the lowest-functioning, 495 00:17:20,778 --> 00:17:23,781 most self-absorbed group I have ever had. 496 00:17:23,825 --> 00:17:25,348 Think of other people! 497 00:17:25,392 --> 00:17:28,917 You, stop complaining that this is so hard. 498 00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:30,484 This is hard for everyone. 499 00:17:30,527 --> 00:17:32,442 At least you can walk to your car at night 500 00:17:32,486 --> 00:17:33,530 without being afraid. 501 00:17:33,574 --> 00:17:35,663 - Yes, I'm not afraid at all. 502 00:17:35,706 --> 00:17:39,319 - And, Arpi, yes, I know that you started this project, 503 00:17:39,362 --> 00:17:41,234 but it doesn't end with you. 504 00:17:41,277 --> 00:17:44,237 Progress literally means moving forward. 505 00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:47,283 And, Mikaela, it is not your job to educate these people. 506 00:17:47,327 --> 00:17:48,415 They have to learn on their own. 507 00:17:48,458 --> 00:17:49,720 But you know what? 508 00:17:49,764 --> 00:17:51,331 If they're really actually trying, 509 00:17:51,374 --> 00:17:52,593 then you have to-- 510 00:17:54,290 --> 00:17:55,422 Hold on. 511 00:17:55,465 --> 00:17:58,120 You have to let them live, okay? 512 00:17:58,164 --> 00:17:59,513 Because being compassionate 513 00:17:59,556 --> 00:18:00,949 doesn't mean you're being complicit. 514 00:18:00,992 --> 00:18:02,385 - Thank you. 515 00:18:02,429 --> 00:18:04,257 I will post that to my story but not credit you. 516 00:18:04,300 --> 00:18:05,475 - And you know what? 517 00:18:05,519 --> 00:18:07,956 Yes, I know that you are frustrated, 518 00:18:07,999 --> 00:18:09,653 but you're in power now, 519 00:18:09,697 --> 00:18:11,699 and that comes with responsibilities. 520 00:18:11,742 --> 00:18:13,048 - You already pointed to me. I moved. 521 00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:15,833 - Oh, God, I was talking to the Tommy tummy guy. 522 00:18:15,877 --> 00:18:17,661 My eyes are, like, literally on fire. 523 00:18:17,705 --> 00:18:19,663 Can somebody please call my wife? 524 00:18:19,707 --> 00:18:22,057 - Aha! - Oh, my God! 525 00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:24,842 You are so self-absorbed! - This isn't about you! 526 00:18:24,886 --> 00:18:26,714 - I know. I know. 527 00:18:26,757 --> 00:18:29,369 Let's get you ice. - These really do help. 528 00:18:29,412 --> 00:18:31,632 - Hey, guys, we gotta be more careful with this. 529 00:18:33,329 --> 00:18:34,983 Spicy face! 530 00:18:38,987 --> 00:18:39,118 . 531 00:18:39,161 --> 00:18:41,076 - Okay. - You know, 532 00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:42,512 pepper spray is banned by the Geneva Convention. 533 00:18:42,556 --> 00:18:44,123 - Article one, section five. 534 00:18:44,166 --> 00:18:45,907 But that's just for wartime. 535 00:18:45,950 --> 00:18:47,778 - Oh, my God, Susan! 536 00:18:47,822 --> 00:18:49,258 Are you okay? - Nell? 537 00:18:49,302 --> 00:18:50,694 Nell, is that you? Oh, thank God. 538 00:18:50,738 --> 00:18:52,740 Get me away from these people. 539 00:18:52,783 --> 00:18:54,611 Can you get that box for me, hon? 540 00:18:54,655 --> 00:18:56,613 Ugh. - Oh, Nell? 541 00:18:56,657 --> 00:18:57,788 Neil Bremer. 542 00:18:57,832 --> 00:19:00,139 We're so sorry. 543 00:19:00,182 --> 00:19:02,445 Oh, hey, look at that. We got the same watch. 544 00:19:11,846 --> 00:19:13,152 - All right. 545 00:19:13,195 --> 00:19:15,066 I'm gonna go ahead and say it. 546 00:19:15,110 --> 00:19:17,460 You are her type. Maybe there was a vibe. 547 00:19:17,504 --> 00:19:18,766 - Right? 548 00:19:18,809 --> 00:19:21,334 It's just 'cause she's married. 549 00:19:26,643 --> 00:19:29,385 - Thank you. Gracias. 550 00:19:29,429 --> 00:19:30,952 - - I'll Venmo you. 551 00:19:30,995 --> 00:19:34,216 - Okay. - Hey. 552 00:19:34,260 --> 00:19:36,000 I'm sorry that I compared your thigh business 553 00:19:36,044 --> 00:19:37,306 to Councilman Bergfeld's. 554 00:19:37,350 --> 00:19:39,395 It's not okay to talk about your appearance. 555 00:19:39,439 --> 00:19:42,311 - I mean, sometimes it is if it's helpful, 556 00:19:42,355 --> 00:19:44,139 like if there's a rip in my pants, 557 00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:45,401 or if it's positive, 558 00:19:45,445 --> 00:19:47,316 like, "You look pretty today, Mikaela." 559 00:19:47,360 --> 00:19:49,100 - Okay, if that ever happens, I'll let you know. 560 00:19:49,144 --> 00:19:51,190 - Rude! 561 00:19:51,233 --> 00:19:53,670 - Ow. That hurt my arm. 562 00:19:53,714 --> 00:19:54,932 - 563 00:19:54,976 --> 00:19:56,412 - You know, this wasn't that long ago, 564 00:19:56,456 --> 00:19:57,718 but there isn't a single person here 565 00:19:57,761 --> 00:19:59,328 who looks like me. 566 00:19:59,372 --> 00:20:01,678 So if we've gotten to a place where Neil Bremer, 567 00:20:01,722 --> 00:20:03,289 the richest, whitest, 568 00:20:03,332 --> 00:20:04,942 straightest man I have ever met, 569 00:20:04,986 --> 00:20:07,380 and I have to play by the same rules, 570 00:20:07,423 --> 00:20:08,816 I will take it. 571 00:20:08,859 --> 00:20:10,209 - Oh, my God. 572 00:20:10,252 --> 00:20:12,559 The women are all sitting on guys' laps. 573 00:20:12,602 --> 00:20:14,648 Arpi wasn't exaggerating. 574 00:20:15,736 --> 00:20:17,607 But a dog got a chair? 575 00:20:17,651 --> 00:20:18,956 - Well, it's a police dog. 576 00:20:20,262 --> 00:20:21,872 - Hey, is this the bathroom? 577 00:20:21,916 --> 00:20:23,396 - No, no, no, bullpen! Bullpen! - No! No, no, no, no, no! 578 00:20:23,439 --> 00:20:24,571 - Oh. Sorry. 579 00:20:24,614 --> 00:20:25,963 Wait. 580 00:20:26,007 --> 00:20:27,704 No way. 581 00:20:31,578 --> 00:20:32,883 It's Empanada Acoso! 582 00:20:32,927 --> 00:20:35,277 From all the way in Riverside! 583 00:20:35,321 --> 00:20:37,888 You did this? - Yeah. Enjoy, bud. 584 00:20:37,932 --> 00:20:39,803 - You thought of me. 585 00:20:39,847 --> 00:20:41,152 Thank you. 586 00:20:44,765 --> 00:20:47,246 - Ms. Shaw. 587 00:20:47,289 --> 00:20:49,335 I spoke coarsely to you earlier. 588 00:20:49,378 --> 00:20:51,380 You are my superior, and if you believe 589 00:20:51,424 --> 00:20:54,383 a formal reprimand is in order, I understand. 590 00:20:54,427 --> 00:20:55,515 - It's fine. 591 00:20:55,558 --> 00:20:58,953 I lost my temper also, and I apologize. 592 00:21:00,433 --> 00:21:01,912 Listen, I-- 593 00:21:01,956 --> 00:21:03,262 I know you've been trying to get 594 00:21:03,305 --> 00:21:05,133 your water table proposal in front of the mayor, 595 00:21:05,176 --> 00:21:07,918 so come by my office next week 596 00:21:07,962 --> 00:21:10,138 and we'll go over it together. 597 00:21:10,181 --> 00:21:12,053 I've got so many chairs. 598 00:21:12,096 --> 00:21:15,056 - Will do, boss. I will have infinity seats. 599 00:21:17,058 --> 00:21:20,104 - I'm done. 600 00:21:20,148 --> 00:21:22,150 No one judge me! 601 00:21:23,543 --> 00:21:25,545 Corrected by == Flatto (subscene.com) ==