1 00:00:05,287 --> 00:00:05,504 . 2 00:00:05,548 --> 00:00:08,246 - Okay. Have fun tonight, sweetheart. 3 00:00:08,290 --> 00:00:10,379 Don't stay up too late. Don't do drugs. 4 00:00:10,422 --> 00:00:13,077 And remember, Slenderman's not real. 5 00:00:13,121 --> 00:00:14,818 When you thought you saw him in the woods, 6 00:00:14,861 --> 00:00:17,255 that was just Jeff Goldblum going for a walk. 7 00:00:17,299 --> 00:00:19,475 - I'll text you in the morning. - Yeah. 8 00:00:19,518 --> 00:00:21,042 Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. 9 00:00:21,085 --> 00:00:23,087 Is this a co-ed sleepover? 10 00:00:23,131 --> 00:00:24,958 - I told you Sage and Latisse were coming. 11 00:00:25,002 --> 00:00:26,525 - Since when are those boy names? 12 00:00:26,569 --> 00:00:29,398 When I was growing up, Neil was as crazy as it got. 13 00:00:29,441 --> 00:00:31,269 We used to have to spell it on the phone all the time. 14 00:00:31,313 --> 00:00:32,618 Hey, kid, come here! - Oh, my God! 15 00:00:32,662 --> 00:00:34,490 Are you gonna be weird about this? 16 00:00:34,533 --> 00:00:36,361 It's a Model U.N. sleepover. 17 00:00:36,405 --> 00:00:39,277 - It's just--it's your first co-ed sleepover. 18 00:00:39,321 --> 00:00:41,410 I feel like we should have had a conversation about it. 19 00:00:41,453 --> 00:00:43,716 - We've had so many conversations! 20 00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:47,068 - You know, Orly, you also have eggs. 21 00:00:47,111 --> 00:00:49,200 But boys have magical worms. 22 00:00:49,244 --> 00:00:53,509 Also known as tumescence, it slowly starts-- 23 00:00:53,552 --> 00:00:56,077 See how those dogs are stuck? 24 00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:58,383 I take pride in my talks. 25 00:00:58,427 --> 00:01:00,733 - Sure, okay, I'm just saying that just because 26 00:01:00,777 --> 00:01:02,561 there's gonna be boys in the same house, 27 00:01:02,605 --> 00:01:04,650 doesn't mean we're gonna do anything from that 28 00:01:04,694 --> 00:01:07,262 Israeli coloring book that you got me. 29 00:01:07,305 --> 00:01:10,526 - Well, these are your decisions to make. 30 00:01:10,569 --> 00:01:11,875 But when you do make them, 31 00:01:11,918 --> 00:01:14,399 I want it to be with someone special, 32 00:01:14,443 --> 00:01:16,793 like it was with me and your mom. 33 00:01:16,836 --> 00:01:20,275 Hearts before parts, I always say. 34 00:01:20,318 --> 00:01:23,234 Nope, I just made that up, but I stand by it. 35 00:01:23,278 --> 00:01:24,975 - Hearts, parts. I got it. 36 00:01:25,018 --> 00:01:27,325 - Hearts, parts. 37 00:01:27,369 --> 00:01:30,328 [light music] 38 00:01:30,372 --> 00:01:31,895 Hey, kid. - Huh? 39 00:01:31,938 --> 00:01:33,244 - I see you. 40 00:01:33,288 --> 00:01:36,204 [bright music] 41 00:01:36,247 --> 00:01:42,384 ♪ 42 00:01:44,647 --> 00:01:45,822 - It seems like we're gonna be here late. 43 00:01:45,865 --> 00:01:46,866 Should we get dinner? 44 00:01:46,910 --> 00:01:48,390 - No, we gotta keep our momentum. 45 00:01:48,433 --> 00:01:50,000 This budget's due Thursday. 46 00:01:50,043 --> 00:01:54,787 If you're peckish, I've got a couple of hard-boiled eggs, 47 00:01:54,831 --> 00:01:58,400 and one of those Tom's savory toothpastes. 48 00:01:58,443 --> 00:02:00,837 - Or, we could duck out for din-din tonight? 49 00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:02,621 I hear it's dollar chicken night at Porgy's. 50 00:02:02,665 --> 00:02:04,057 - That's too cheap, Jayden. - We're not doing that. 51 00:02:04,101 --> 00:02:05,276 - I'm just saying, you know? 52 00:02:05,320 --> 00:02:06,799 Sometimes it's actually faster to go out. 53 00:02:06,843 --> 00:02:08,323 And the food's hotter. 54 00:02:08,366 --> 00:02:11,413 And I get free dessert wings, 'cause it's my birthday. 55 00:02:11,456 --> 00:02:14,633 - Wait, this is what you're doing for your birthday? 56 00:02:14,677 --> 00:02:18,550 - Yeah, but it's okay. You know, I love my job. 57 00:02:18,594 --> 00:02:21,031 I don't need to go out. I can turn 40 right here. 58 00:02:21,074 --> 00:02:23,251 Now, roll me a birthday egg. 59 00:02:23,294 --> 00:02:25,340 [cheerful music] 60 00:02:25,383 --> 00:02:27,211 ♪ 61 00:02:27,255 --> 00:02:29,126 - Okay, fine. Let's go to Porgy's. 62 00:02:29,170 --> 00:02:32,085 - Yes, I'm getting a Sprite! [laughs] 63 00:02:32,129 --> 00:02:33,957 [cell phone chimes] 64 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:35,045 - You think you're gonna be 65 00:02:35,088 --> 00:02:36,351 needing the car again tonight, sir? 66 00:02:36,394 --> 00:02:39,223 - Nope--yeah, just a lot of policy to read up on. 67 00:02:39,267 --> 00:02:40,485 Very dry. 68 00:02:40,529 --> 00:02:42,879 You go out there and have fun for me, Dan. 69 00:02:42,922 --> 00:02:44,228 - Sounds good, sir. 70 00:02:44,272 --> 00:02:46,622 [line trilling] 71 00:02:46,665 --> 00:02:50,103 - Hey there, gorgeous. You up? 72 00:02:50,147 --> 00:02:53,019 [upbeat rock music playing] 73 00:02:53,063 --> 00:02:55,326 ♪ 74 00:02:55,370 --> 00:02:56,588 - Okay, we did it, you're 40. 75 00:02:56,632 --> 00:02:58,721 Jayden, maybe you get that to go? 76 00:02:58,764 --> 00:03:01,724 - [imitates air horn blaring] What's up, Porgy's? 77 00:03:01,767 --> 00:03:05,380 It's Professor Jax coming at you with all the facts! 78 00:03:05,423 --> 00:03:06,642 Everybody grab a partner, 79 00:03:06,685 --> 00:03:09,862 because bar trivia starts right now! 80 00:03:09,906 --> 00:03:11,821 - This place does trivia? I pick Arpi. 81 00:03:11,864 --> 00:03:13,344 - Good choice, Mr. Tomás. 82 00:03:13,388 --> 00:03:15,259 This brain is like a "Hoarders" episode. 83 00:03:15,303 --> 00:03:17,479 Once something comes in, it never goes out. 84 00:03:17,522 --> 00:03:19,263 The capital of Alaska is Juneau. 85 00:03:19,307 --> 00:03:20,743 Cows have four stomachs. 86 00:03:20,786 --> 00:03:23,136 I was wearing a blue sweater the day I saw a man drown. 87 00:03:23,180 --> 00:03:24,877 - And I was on a TLC documentary 88 00:03:24,921 --> 00:03:26,183 about child geniuses. 89 00:03:26,227 --> 00:03:27,271 It actually ended up being more 90 00:03:27,315 --> 00:03:28,359 about my dad's hidden clown life, 91 00:03:28,403 --> 00:03:29,795 but still, you two are going down. 92 00:03:29,839 --> 00:03:31,319 - Tonight's winning team 93 00:03:31,362 --> 00:03:34,017 gets this one of my son's soccer trophies. 94 00:03:34,060 --> 00:03:35,279 [imitates air horn blaring] 95 00:03:35,323 --> 00:03:38,848 Which three presidents died on July 4th? 96 00:03:38,891 --> 00:03:41,111 - Jefferson, Adams, and Monroe! 97 00:03:41,154 --> 00:03:43,287 - Correct! - What? 98 00:03:43,331 --> 00:03:44,723 You guys didn't grow up with that placemat 99 00:03:44,767 --> 00:03:46,203 of the U.S. presidents and how they died? 100 00:03:46,247 --> 00:03:50,163 - Question two: how long did the Vietnam War last? 101 00:03:50,207 --> 00:03:52,253 - That's a loaded question, Jax. 102 00:03:52,296 --> 00:03:53,732 Conflicts in the region predate-- 103 00:03:53,776 --> 00:03:56,300 - 19 years! - Correct! 104 00:03:56,344 --> 00:03:58,259 - Well, that's a narrow view. 105 00:03:58,302 --> 00:04:00,565 - Every boyfriend I've ever had wanted to be the first guy 106 00:04:00,609 --> 00:04:02,437 to show me "Apocalypse Now." 107 00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:03,438 [laughs] - Yeah! 108 00:04:03,481 --> 00:04:05,570 - These two robins-- 109 00:04:05,614 --> 00:04:07,398 - Kermit's nephew and Dick Grayson! 110 00:04:07,442 --> 00:04:10,140 - [laughs] That is correct! 111 00:04:10,183 --> 00:04:12,316 This man's got his learning on tonight, folks. 112 00:04:12,360 --> 00:04:13,578 - I liked "The Muppets." 113 00:04:13,622 --> 00:04:16,146 - Morning. - How's tricks, Kwapis? 114 00:04:16,189 --> 00:04:17,582 - Tricks are bad, sir. 115 00:04:17,626 --> 00:04:19,758 There's a picture of you trending on the Internet. 116 00:04:19,802 --> 00:04:22,370 - What? Who took that? 117 00:04:22,413 --> 00:04:26,939 Oh, must've been the driver from the car service I got her. 118 00:04:26,983 --> 00:04:29,377 That used to be a noble profession, Jayden. 119 00:04:29,420 --> 00:04:31,553 - Obviously, I wanna hear all the dirty deets. 120 00:04:31,596 --> 00:04:33,816 How French were the kisses? Did you see her tummy? 121 00:04:33,859 --> 00:04:35,078 - Mmm. 122 00:04:35,121 --> 00:04:37,602 - Oops, somebody saw some tum! [both laugh] 123 00:04:37,646 --> 00:04:39,343 But Mayor-wise, this isn't great. 124 00:04:39,387 --> 00:04:42,259 - It's gross! The whole tableau is gross! 125 00:04:42,303 --> 00:04:44,174 - Look, guys, 126 00:04:44,217 --> 00:04:47,917 Nicole is a very nice age-appropriate lady. 127 00:04:47,960 --> 00:04:49,353 - She's young enough to be your daughter. 128 00:04:49,397 --> 00:04:50,615 - I'm rich, and it's L.A. 129 00:04:50,659 --> 00:04:53,052 And besides, we've known each other for years. 130 00:04:53,096 --> 00:04:54,793 We actually met-- 131 00:04:54,837 --> 00:04:56,447 I used to do this thing where I'd walk 132 00:04:56,491 --> 00:04:58,493 into a Pilates studio and I'd say, 133 00:04:58,536 --> 00:05:01,278 "Sorry, I thought this was the Bentley dealership." 134 00:05:01,322 --> 00:05:02,627 - Slick! 135 00:05:02,671 --> 00:05:04,499 - And I meet her in secret 136 00:05:04,542 --> 00:05:07,676 because I don't want Orly to think that I'm-- 137 00:05:07,719 --> 00:05:10,374 I don't know, betraying her mom's memory. 138 00:05:10,418 --> 00:05:11,506 - Well, you're safe. 139 00:05:11,549 --> 00:05:13,334 I'm sure Orly never looks at the Internet. 140 00:05:13,377 --> 00:05:15,379 [cell phone buzzes] 141 00:05:15,423 --> 00:05:17,468 - [sighs] "Wow, Dad. 142 00:05:17,512 --> 00:05:19,514 Nice photo, hypocrite." 143 00:05:19,557 --> 00:05:21,037 - Who's it from? 144 00:05:24,040 --> 00:05:25,520 - I don't feel good about 145 00:05:25,563 --> 00:05:27,826 our trivia performance last night, Mr. Tomás. 146 00:05:27,870 --> 00:05:30,525 - It was a fluke, a classic "Slumdog Millionaire." 147 00:05:30,568 --> 00:05:32,178 Jayden only knew who Toscanini was because of a picture 148 00:05:32,222 --> 00:05:33,702 on the wall at Buca di Beppo. 149 00:05:33,745 --> 00:05:35,617 - Hey guys, I was thinking, let's split up the budget. 150 00:05:35,660 --> 00:05:36,835 Just do it by seniority. 151 00:05:36,879 --> 00:05:38,402 Everyone takes a section to proof. 152 00:05:38,446 --> 00:05:39,838 I don't wanna keep doing late nights. 153 00:05:39,882 --> 00:05:42,014 - Yeah, sure, sounds good. - Great idea. 154 00:05:42,058 --> 00:05:43,668 - [laughs] 155 00:05:43,712 --> 00:05:46,628 And I know you two don't want another night like last night. 156 00:05:46,671 --> 00:05:48,673 I bet it's driving you crazy 157 00:05:48,717 --> 00:05:50,458 that me and Jayden beat you. - Jayden and I. 158 00:05:50,501 --> 00:05:51,981 - 'Cause you think you're smarter than us. 159 00:05:52,024 --> 00:05:53,765 - Only empirically. - You gotta admit. 160 00:05:53,809 --> 00:05:55,201 You and Kwapis got pretty lucky. 161 00:05:55,245 --> 00:05:56,638 - Lucky? [scoffs] 162 00:05:56,681 --> 00:05:58,466 Mikaela Shaw doesn't get lucky. 163 00:05:58,509 --> 00:06:01,730 I got HPV from a pair of vintage jeans. 164 00:06:01,773 --> 00:06:04,385 You guys think you're so smart? Let's have a rematch. 165 00:06:04,428 --> 00:06:06,430 Porgy's, tonight. 166 00:06:06,474 --> 00:06:08,389 Or are you dollar chicken? 167 00:06:08,432 --> 00:06:09,999 [dramatic music] 168 00:06:10,042 --> 00:06:11,957 - Bock, bock. 169 00:06:13,959 --> 00:06:15,874 - Wait, was that a yes or a no? 170 00:06:15,918 --> 00:06:18,268 - See you on the ice. - Porgy's again? 171 00:06:18,311 --> 00:06:20,009 My birthday wish came true! 172 00:06:23,273 --> 00:06:23,447 . 173 00:06:23,491 --> 00:06:25,928 [cell phone buzzing] 174 00:06:25,971 --> 00:06:27,973 [cheerful music] 175 00:06:28,017 --> 00:06:30,411 - Hey, sweetie. I was just about-- 176 00:06:30,454 --> 00:06:33,239 - I know you got my text. It says "read," Dad. 177 00:06:33,283 --> 00:06:35,503 - Stupid phone! - I'm just confused. 178 00:06:35,546 --> 00:06:38,027 I mean, yesterday, you said that my decisions 179 00:06:38,070 --> 00:06:39,245 should always be with some-- 180 00:06:39,289 --> 00:06:40,769 - Someone special. And I meant that. 181 00:06:40,812 --> 00:06:42,858 - Oh, so that was someone special? 182 00:06:42,901 --> 00:06:45,251 The lady that you called an Uber pool for? 183 00:06:45,295 --> 00:06:47,036 We share an account, Dad. 184 00:06:47,079 --> 00:06:49,081 - I hate these things! 185 00:06:49,125 --> 00:06:51,388 Look, when I said that stuff to you, 186 00:06:51,432 --> 00:06:54,913 I was-- I was thinking about Nicole. 187 00:06:54,957 --> 00:06:57,220 She's very special. 188 00:06:57,263 --> 00:06:59,352 - Oh, my gosh, Dad. Really? 189 00:06:59,396 --> 00:07:02,834 - Yeah, she's my special lady. 190 00:07:02,878 --> 00:07:04,706 [gags] 191 00:07:04,749 --> 00:07:07,970 - If she's special to you, then she's special to me. 192 00:07:08,013 --> 00:07:11,103 When can I meet her? How about tonight? 193 00:07:11,147 --> 00:07:12,365 [laughs] - Oh--I--yeah. 194 00:07:12,409 --> 00:07:14,542 No, I don't know if tonight's possible. 195 00:07:14,585 --> 00:07:20,722 Yeah, Nicole is a busy professional work woman, and-- 196 00:07:20,765 --> 00:07:23,289 - Oh, actually, you know, I can't tonight, either. 197 00:07:23,333 --> 00:07:26,118 Latisse invited me to his lacrosse team's pool party. 198 00:07:26,162 --> 00:07:27,685 He goes to a magnet school for kids 199 00:07:27,729 --> 00:07:29,644 who were emancipated from their parents. 200 00:07:29,687 --> 00:07:32,298 - Actually, tonight's good. I just remembered. 201 00:07:32,342 --> 00:07:36,564 You should meet Nicole tonight. 202 00:07:36,607 --> 00:07:40,045 Let's meet Nicole, all right? [laughs] 203 00:07:40,089 --> 00:07:41,917 [laughter] 204 00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:44,572 [light tense music] 205 00:07:44,615 --> 00:07:47,096 ♪ 206 00:07:47,139 --> 00:07:48,880 - May the most intelligent team win. 207 00:07:48,924 --> 00:07:51,056 Meritocracy! 208 00:07:51,100 --> 00:07:52,493 - Friendship! Yay! 209 00:07:52,536 --> 00:07:54,930 - Tonight's prize is a big one-- 210 00:07:54,973 --> 00:07:57,019 a bassoon! 211 00:07:57,062 --> 00:07:59,369 Brand new, still in the case, 212 00:07:59,412 --> 00:08:01,806 guess how many times my son played it? 213 00:08:01,850 --> 00:08:05,201 The correct answer is none! 214 00:08:05,244 --> 00:08:07,159 [imitates air horn blaring] 215 00:08:07,203 --> 00:08:10,075 The first question is in world geography. 216 00:08:10,119 --> 00:08:12,034 This sub-equatorial country 217 00:08:12,077 --> 00:08:14,906 is home to the yellow-tailed woolly monkey 218 00:08:14,950 --> 00:08:16,952 and one marmalade-loving bear-- 219 00:08:16,995 --> 00:08:18,301 - Peru! 'Cause Paddington. 220 00:08:18,344 --> 00:08:21,130 - Correct! - Yes! 221 00:08:21,173 --> 00:08:22,610 - Mimi Rogers, Nicole Kidman, Katie Holmes, 222 00:08:22,653 --> 00:08:23,785 and Gorgolzop the Elder. 223 00:08:23,828 --> 00:08:25,221 - That's it! 224 00:08:25,264 --> 00:08:26,831 - The gum disease, gingivitis! 225 00:08:26,875 --> 00:08:28,267 - Correct again! 226 00:08:28,311 --> 00:08:30,400 - Dr. Arnold Henry Kegel! - Nailed it! 227 00:08:30,443 --> 00:08:32,837 What is the capital of Alaska-- 228 00:08:32,881 --> 00:08:34,230 - That'd be Juneau, Jax. 229 00:08:34,273 --> 00:08:36,319 - You didn't let me finish the question. 230 00:08:36,362 --> 00:08:39,061 What is the capital of Alaska's main export-- 231 00:08:39,104 --> 00:08:43,152 - Natural gas. - After natural gas? 232 00:08:43,195 --> 00:08:45,633 - Fishes? - Bingo! 233 00:08:45,676 --> 00:08:47,330 [both laugh] 234 00:08:47,373 --> 00:08:49,811 - You need to relax and listen to the whole question. 235 00:08:49,854 --> 00:08:53,858 - Oh, a man telling me to relax and listen, 236 00:08:53,902 --> 00:08:55,164 that's some fresh lemonade. 237 00:08:55,207 --> 00:08:56,600 Also, saying, "I knew that one," 238 00:08:56,644 --> 00:08:58,950 after every question is not helping our score. 239 00:08:58,994 --> 00:09:00,299 - Chocolate babies. 240 00:09:00,343 --> 00:09:01,692 - I knew that one. - Okay. 241 00:09:01,736 --> 00:09:04,434 This partnership is over. - Fine, forget it! 242 00:09:04,477 --> 00:09:05,957 I don't even need another bassoon. 243 00:09:06,001 --> 00:09:07,306 - "King Lear"! 244 00:09:07,350 --> 00:09:08,351 It's what "Empire" was based off. 245 00:09:08,394 --> 00:09:11,136 - Correct! And we have a winner! 246 00:09:11,180 --> 00:09:13,312 - Yes! - [screams] 247 00:09:13,356 --> 00:09:15,793 - Now come on up and get your bassoon. 248 00:09:15,837 --> 00:09:18,666 - I am so glad you could make it for dinner. 249 00:09:18,709 --> 00:09:21,233 Thank you, and thank you for making it so last minute. 250 00:09:21,277 --> 00:09:22,670 - Oh, I'm into it. 251 00:09:22,713 --> 00:09:24,410 I usually just have gummy bears for dinner 252 00:09:24,454 --> 00:09:25,847 on my way home from work. 253 00:09:25,890 --> 00:09:27,370 - Actually, you know, 254 00:09:27,413 --> 00:09:28,719 I thought that we could have a quiet night tonight. 255 00:09:28,763 --> 00:09:30,068 - Oh. 256 00:09:30,112 --> 00:09:34,029 - I'm making my specialty-- turkey à la king! 257 00:09:34,072 --> 00:09:36,379 - Ooh! Yum, yum, yum! 258 00:09:36,422 --> 00:09:38,599 - You must be Daddy's special friend. 259 00:09:38,642 --> 00:09:39,643 - Oh, hi! 260 00:09:39,687 --> 00:09:42,211 - Nicole, this is my daughter, Orly. 261 00:09:42,254 --> 00:09:43,386 She's joining us for dinner. 262 00:09:43,429 --> 00:09:45,649 - Oh, what a fun surprise. 263 00:09:45,693 --> 00:09:47,477 - Can I get you a glass of wine? 264 00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:48,652 - Yeah. 265 00:09:48,696 --> 00:09:52,700 - I am so happy that my dad found you. 266 00:09:52,743 --> 00:09:55,441 - Thank you, honey. 267 00:09:55,485 --> 00:09:57,879 [soft jazz music playing] 268 00:09:57,922 --> 00:10:00,577 Oh, wow, wow, wow! 269 00:10:00,621 --> 00:10:02,666 I can't believe I'm meeting your daughter, Neil. 270 00:10:02,710 --> 00:10:05,234 - All right. Here, taste this. 271 00:10:05,277 --> 00:10:07,105 - Wait, does that have meat in it? 272 00:10:07,149 --> 00:10:08,716 - It's turkey à la king. 273 00:10:08,759 --> 00:10:10,021 - Oh, well, I'm vegan. 274 00:10:10,065 --> 00:10:12,154 - It has the word turkey in it. 275 00:10:12,197 --> 00:10:15,244 - Dad, how could you not know Nicole is vegan? 276 00:10:15,287 --> 00:10:17,681 - [laughs softly] I guess I forgot. 277 00:10:17,725 --> 00:10:20,205 I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, Nicole. 278 00:10:20,249 --> 00:10:24,079 Is it--is it hot in here? Let me take your jacket. 279 00:10:24,122 --> 00:10:27,256 - Oh, no! Mm. 280 00:10:27,299 --> 00:10:30,041 - Ah, okay. What else can I tell you? 281 00:10:30,085 --> 00:10:33,958 Well, Nicole runs a Pilates studio. 282 00:10:34,002 --> 00:10:37,440 - Oh--oh, no, it was Pilates, but we pivoted. 283 00:10:37,483 --> 00:10:40,661 Now we do fairy birthday parties for adults. 284 00:10:40,704 --> 00:10:42,097 - Ah, okay. 285 00:10:42,140 --> 00:10:43,968 - Is it scary to be in love? 286 00:10:44,012 --> 00:10:45,753 - [chokes] 287 00:10:45,796 --> 00:10:46,797 [coughs] 288 00:10:46,841 --> 00:10:48,103 - Um, I see-- 289 00:10:48,146 --> 00:10:50,018 I told Orly that 290 00:10:50,061 --> 00:10:54,283 I think that you and I have a nice connection. 291 00:10:54,326 --> 00:10:56,894 - Yeah, for sure. For sure! 292 00:10:56,938 --> 00:10:59,636 - So, how long have you guys known each other? 293 00:10:59,680 --> 00:11:01,333 - Um, six years? 294 00:11:01,377 --> 00:11:03,466 - Mm-hmm. - Six years? 295 00:11:03,509 --> 00:11:06,556 Wow, I can't believe I haven't met you before. 296 00:11:06,599 --> 00:11:10,299 - Well, Nicole lives in Tarzana. 297 00:11:10,342 --> 00:11:12,910 - Yeah, and your dad lives here. 298 00:11:12,954 --> 00:11:15,173 Wait, do you live here? 299 00:11:15,217 --> 00:11:16,784 I remember your place being nicer. 300 00:11:16,827 --> 00:11:21,005 - Ah, no, no. I moved here because, you know, 301 00:11:21,049 --> 00:11:22,615 this is where the mayor lives. 302 00:11:22,659 --> 00:11:25,314 - Right. You work for the mayor? 303 00:11:25,357 --> 00:11:27,969 - [laughing] 304 00:11:28,012 --> 00:11:30,101 [light music] 305 00:11:30,145 --> 00:11:32,538 - [laughs] 306 00:11:34,540 --> 00:11:34,889 . 307 00:11:34,932 --> 00:11:36,804 - Well, thank you for coming. 308 00:11:36,847 --> 00:11:38,849 I hope Orly didn't come on too strong. 309 00:11:38,893 --> 00:11:40,895 - Oh, no, she's a doll. 310 00:11:40,938 --> 00:11:44,289 - I made this for you. - Oh. 311 00:11:44,333 --> 00:11:45,987 Thank you, Orly. 312 00:11:46,030 --> 00:11:47,728 It's gonna go right on the mini fridge. 313 00:11:47,771 --> 00:11:49,599 - Oh, look at that. [chuckles] 314 00:11:49,642 --> 00:11:51,993 - Bye. 315 00:11:54,343 --> 00:11:57,302 - You should be ashamed of yourself! 316 00:11:57,346 --> 00:11:58,651 - I should be ashamed? 317 00:11:58,695 --> 00:12:01,480 You have been slorshing that lady for six years. 318 00:12:01,524 --> 00:12:04,222 - Well, is that a term, or are you messing with me 319 00:12:04,266 --> 00:12:06,442 'cause you know I'm gonna repeat it? 320 00:12:06,485 --> 00:12:09,706 Oh, all right, fine, Orly. Yeah, you got me. 321 00:12:09,750 --> 00:12:12,143 Nicole is parts before hearts. 322 00:12:12,187 --> 00:12:15,059 But now she thinks this is a real relationship. 323 00:12:15,103 --> 00:12:17,496 I'm gonna have to somehow find a way to dig myself 324 00:12:17,540 --> 00:12:20,064 out of this without hurting her feelings. 325 00:12:20,108 --> 00:12:23,807 And she happens to be one of the neatest ladies that I see. 326 00:12:23,851 --> 00:12:26,810 - Wait, there are other ladies you see? 327 00:12:26,854 --> 00:12:28,899 Do you do this every time I'm away? 328 00:12:28,943 --> 00:12:32,120 - No--what? Hey, you want a new phone? 329 00:12:32,163 --> 00:12:33,208 - When I came back from camp, 330 00:12:33,251 --> 00:12:34,992 and the hot tub was being cleaned? 331 00:12:35,036 --> 00:12:37,081 When the eighth-grade ski trip ended early 332 00:12:37,125 --> 00:12:39,518 and I found all those Diet Coke cans in the sauna? 333 00:12:39,562 --> 00:12:40,737 - Mm... 334 00:12:40,781 --> 00:12:42,130 - When I had my wisdom teeth removed, 335 00:12:42,173 --> 00:12:44,349 and I had that dream about Cheryl Tiegs? 336 00:12:44,393 --> 00:12:47,352 - No, that was Cheryl Tiegs. - Oh, my God! 337 00:12:47,396 --> 00:12:50,965 - All right, yes. Yes, I sneak around, Orly, 338 00:12:51,008 --> 00:12:53,184 'cause none of these women are good enough to meet you. 339 00:12:53,228 --> 00:12:55,273 - Well, then be sneakier, because I don't wanna 340 00:12:55,317 --> 00:12:57,754 have to deal with this grossness ever again! 341 00:12:57,798 --> 00:13:00,104 - All right. 342 00:13:00,148 --> 00:13:01,845 - [sighs] 343 00:13:01,889 --> 00:13:04,282 I'm gonna ask you one more question. 344 00:13:04,326 --> 00:13:08,069 You didn't buy me that too-big Tinkerbell outfit, did you? 345 00:13:10,071 --> 00:13:13,901 You let me sleep in it all summer! 346 00:13:13,944 --> 00:13:15,250 - Oh, you're mad? 347 00:13:15,293 --> 00:13:17,513 She's the one who got fired from Disneyland 348 00:13:17,556 --> 00:13:19,080 for losing the costume! 349 00:13:19,123 --> 00:13:22,257 [shaky bassoon notes] 350 00:13:26,696 --> 00:13:30,265 - That was "Shallow" by Bradley Cooper and Stefani Germanotta. 351 00:13:30,308 --> 00:13:32,658 I'm still learning, but I'll pick it up quickly, 352 00:13:32,702 --> 00:13:34,399 'cause I'm kind of a genius. 353 00:13:34,443 --> 00:13:36,401 - Oh, you're about as funny as a heart attack. 354 00:13:36,445 --> 00:13:38,403 - You're just jealous 'cause I beat you guys, 355 00:13:38,447 --> 00:13:40,188 despite having Jayden on my team. 356 00:13:40,231 --> 00:13:41,842 - What do you mean, despite? 357 00:13:41,885 --> 00:13:44,279 You think I'm some kinda idiot that can't-- 358 00:13:45,323 --> 00:13:46,759 Intentional! 359 00:13:46,803 --> 00:13:48,674 - Jayden, I'm sorry, but come on. 360 00:13:48,718 --> 00:13:50,285 You know I'm LeBron, 361 00:13:50,328 --> 00:13:53,027 and you're, like, the Laker Vanessa Hudgens hooked up with. 362 00:13:53,070 --> 00:13:55,464 - I think you mean Kyle Kuzma. You see? 363 00:13:55,507 --> 00:13:58,380 You think you were carrying me? I was carrying you! 364 00:13:58,423 --> 00:14:00,164 I ran the board on discontinued candies 365 00:14:00,208 --> 00:14:01,818 and "Playboy" in the '90s. 366 00:14:01,862 --> 00:14:03,124 - Ooh, he's got a point. 367 00:14:03,167 --> 00:14:04,908 Maybe Jayden should get the bassoon. 368 00:14:04,952 --> 00:14:06,257 - Hey, here's a question. 369 00:14:06,301 --> 00:14:08,912 Who's not on my trivia team anymore--Mikaela! 370 00:14:08,956 --> 00:14:10,044 - You didn't give me a chance to answer. 371 00:14:10,087 --> 00:14:11,567 - Oh, I knew that one! 372 00:14:11,610 --> 00:14:13,961 - Okay, so maybe we settle this definitively tonight! 373 00:14:14,004 --> 00:14:15,353 - Well, I'm free. 374 00:14:15,397 --> 00:14:16,833 I finished my section of the budget. 375 00:14:16,877 --> 00:14:18,400 - Me too. - I did mine. 376 00:14:18,443 --> 00:14:19,836 Okay, it's on tonight. 377 00:14:19,880 --> 00:14:23,840 Our friend Jax is at Canter's Deli Two in Torrance. 378 00:14:23,884 --> 00:14:25,407 It's every they for themself. 379 00:14:25,450 --> 00:14:28,279 [lively music] 380 00:14:28,323 --> 00:14:30,934 - Wow, wow, wow! 381 00:14:30,978 --> 00:14:33,719 Two days ago, I did not think I would be visiting your office. 382 00:14:33,763 --> 00:14:36,592 - Please, sit down. - Okay. 383 00:14:37,898 --> 00:14:41,727 - [sighs] So, Nicole. 384 00:14:41,771 --> 00:14:47,168 Boy, these last couple of days have been very special. 385 00:14:47,211 --> 00:14:48,952 - Neil, please stop, stop! 386 00:14:48,996 --> 00:14:50,954 I can't see you anymore. I'm so sorry. 387 00:14:50,998 --> 00:14:54,958 - Wait, uh, you can't see me? 388 00:14:55,002 --> 00:14:56,307 - Yeah, I mean, you're fun, 389 00:14:56,351 --> 00:14:58,440 but I don't think of us as a serious match. 390 00:14:58,483 --> 00:15:00,703 You're in my phone as "Short Neil." 391 00:15:00,746 --> 00:15:02,226 - You have a taller Neil? 392 00:15:02,270 --> 00:15:04,054 - I just think we're at different places in our lives. 393 00:15:04,098 --> 00:15:06,665 Like, you're looking for a stepmom for your kid, 394 00:15:06,709 --> 00:15:08,972 or a caregiver, someone to drive at night. 395 00:15:09,016 --> 00:15:10,582 I am not that girl. 396 00:15:10,626 --> 00:15:14,760 I drink at night, and I need to honor that part of myself. 397 00:15:14,804 --> 00:15:17,328 - [sighs] Well, okay. 398 00:15:17,372 --> 00:15:21,158 Yeah, I respect your decision. - Yeah, okay. 399 00:15:21,202 --> 00:15:22,899 - Yeah, but just for the record, sit down for a sec. 400 00:15:22,943 --> 00:15:24,814 - Oh, okay. 401 00:15:24,857 --> 00:15:27,164 - That's not what I'm looking for. 402 00:15:27,208 --> 00:15:29,732 You know, I enjoy a casual good time. 403 00:15:29,775 --> 00:15:30,994 Orly just caught me. 404 00:15:31,038 --> 00:15:33,431 - Look, I get it. Your wife just died. 405 00:15:33,475 --> 00:15:34,563 - Well, eight years ago. 406 00:15:34,606 --> 00:15:36,826 - Oh, and you're still just hooking up? 407 00:15:36,869 --> 00:15:39,785 You're, like, 60. 408 00:15:39,829 --> 00:15:42,527 - Yes. What I'm trying to say is, 409 00:15:42,571 --> 00:15:45,269 I'm not looking for a serious relationship either, 410 00:15:45,313 --> 00:15:47,880 because my priority is Orly. 411 00:15:47,924 --> 00:15:49,665 - Okay, but you do realize 412 00:15:49,708 --> 00:15:52,059 Orly's gonna go off to college in, like, two years, right? 413 00:15:52,102 --> 00:15:53,451 - My God. Don't say that. 414 00:15:53,495 --> 00:15:55,105 - Yeah, and you need to make space for yourself, 415 00:15:55,149 --> 00:15:56,541 and your emotional needs. 416 00:15:56,585 --> 00:15:59,153 My friend Carly went through this as a single mom. 417 00:15:59,196 --> 00:16:00,502 She wouldn't date for years, 418 00:16:00,545 --> 00:16:02,025 and then when Baller went off to college, 419 00:16:02,069 --> 00:16:04,027 she was like, "Now what, I'm 31." 420 00:16:04,071 --> 00:16:05,594 - Well, maybe I should call Carly. 421 00:16:05,637 --> 00:16:07,030 - You do not wanna do that. 422 00:16:07,074 --> 00:16:08,423 Carly is married to an MMA fighter now. 423 00:16:08,466 --> 00:16:09,554 He will kill you. 424 00:16:09,598 --> 00:16:12,340 But you might wanna ask yourself, 425 00:16:12,383 --> 00:16:16,126 "Why am I so closed off to the possibility of real love?" 426 00:16:16,170 --> 00:16:18,041 I mean, not with me, because I'm too hot 427 00:16:18,085 --> 00:16:19,434 to be your wife when your eyes go. 428 00:16:19,477 --> 00:16:23,133 It would be a waste. But, you know, in general. 429 00:16:23,177 --> 00:16:28,051 - I guess maybe I use Orly as an excuse. 430 00:16:28,095 --> 00:16:30,575 Because this is easy. - [chuckles] 431 00:16:30,619 --> 00:16:33,404 - But dating at 72, ah! 432 00:16:33,448 --> 00:16:37,365 - Oh, my God, sweetie. I'm proud of you! 433 00:16:37,408 --> 00:16:40,063 Also, personal record for me. 434 00:16:40,107 --> 00:16:43,240 - It's just maybe my ship has sailed. 435 00:16:43,284 --> 00:16:45,851 - What, are you kidding? You're a catch. 436 00:16:45,895 --> 00:16:48,767 You're sweet, you're rich. You work for the mayor. 437 00:16:48,811 --> 00:16:50,073 - I am the mayor. 438 00:16:50,117 --> 00:16:53,598 - [laughs incredulously] Okay. 439 00:16:53,642 --> 00:16:55,774 I'm just saying you might be able to find someone 440 00:16:55,818 --> 00:16:58,081 really great, if you open your heart to it. 441 00:16:58,125 --> 00:17:00,040 - Thank you, Nicole. 442 00:17:00,083 --> 00:17:02,259 And I--you know what, I hope you-- 443 00:17:02,303 --> 00:17:04,305 you find the right person too. 444 00:17:04,348 --> 00:17:06,350 - Oh, I don't do monogamy. Big Capricorn energy. 445 00:17:06,394 --> 00:17:08,091 Also, my dad had a secret family. 446 00:17:08,135 --> 00:17:09,962 Whatever, it's boring. I gotta go. 447 00:17:10,006 --> 00:17:12,574 Bye. - Bye. 448 00:17:18,797 --> 00:17:18,971 . 449 00:17:19,015 --> 00:17:21,931 [light music playing] 450 00:17:21,974 --> 00:17:24,890 ♪ 451 00:17:24,934 --> 00:17:27,197 - Here all alone? [chuckles] 452 00:17:27,241 --> 00:17:28,677 Sad. 453 00:17:30,505 --> 00:17:33,334 - Welcome, welcome, quiz heads. How's everybody doing tonight? 454 00:17:33,377 --> 00:17:34,465 - Get to the heat of the meet, Jax. 455 00:17:34,509 --> 00:17:35,771 - Yeah, we're not here for "Host Chat." 456 00:17:35,814 --> 00:17:37,251 - Sorry, Jax, they're idiots. 457 00:17:37,294 --> 00:17:38,861 - Yeah, that's Mikaela. 458 00:17:38,904 --> 00:17:42,082 I think she's on all the apps, but nothing. 459 00:17:42,125 --> 00:17:44,780 - What did he say? - Doctor Elephant is a she. 460 00:17:44,823 --> 00:17:46,347 - What is wrong with you people? 461 00:17:46,390 --> 00:17:48,566 Two nights ago, you were all sitting there together 462 00:17:48,610 --> 00:17:50,699 sharing a dollar chicken like friends. 463 00:17:50,742 --> 00:17:52,570 - We're not friends, we're coworkers. 464 00:17:52,614 --> 00:17:53,832 - And we did not share that chicken. 465 00:17:53,876 --> 00:17:55,704 - It's true. I ate the whole chicken. 466 00:17:55,747 --> 00:17:57,662 - Oh, now you're at separate tables? 467 00:17:57,706 --> 00:18:00,404 I mean, what is more important, 468 00:18:00,448 --> 00:18:02,102 your work family, 469 00:18:02,145 --> 00:18:05,844 or this brand new glow-in-the dark samurai sword 470 00:18:05,888 --> 00:18:08,151 that my son says he's "too old" for, 471 00:18:08,195 --> 00:18:12,373 and if I were "around more, I'd know that"? 472 00:18:12,416 --> 00:18:16,290 Anyway, that's the prize tonight. 473 00:18:16,333 --> 00:18:18,248 First question! 474 00:18:18,292 --> 00:18:20,642 Believe it or not, the city of Los Angeles 475 00:18:20,685 --> 00:18:23,775 spends $7.3 million every year just on this, 476 00:18:23,819 --> 00:18:25,821 also known as "shoefitti"? 477 00:18:25,864 --> 00:18:27,779 - Cutting down sneakers from electrical wires! 478 00:18:27,823 --> 00:18:29,390 - Correct! - Yes! 479 00:18:29,433 --> 00:18:31,348 Street maintenance was in my section of the budget proof. 480 00:18:31,392 --> 00:18:34,264 - What--no, shoefitti removal was in my part. 481 00:18:34,308 --> 00:18:35,961 I proofed pages 1 through 120. 482 00:18:36,005 --> 00:18:37,789 We split it up by seniority, 483 00:18:37,833 --> 00:18:40,140 and Chief of Staff is the highest. 484 00:18:40,183 --> 00:18:42,794 - Yeah, but I'm the Chair of the Budget Committee, 485 00:18:42,838 --> 00:18:44,187 so I'm kinda, like, your king. 486 00:18:44,231 --> 00:18:47,103 - Are you two serious? I proofed section one. 487 00:18:47,147 --> 00:18:49,714 I've been at city hall longer than all of you combined. 488 00:18:49,758 --> 00:18:52,064 - I thought I could go first because it's my birthday! 489 00:18:52,108 --> 00:18:54,154 - Crap on a cracker. - We didn't finish the budget! 490 00:18:54,197 --> 00:18:55,851 - We've got 400 pages left to go! 491 00:18:55,894 --> 00:18:58,201 - It's due tomorrow! 492 00:18:58,245 --> 00:18:59,811 [energetic music] 493 00:18:59,855 --> 00:19:02,162 - [imitates air horn blaring] Question two! 494 00:19:02,205 --> 00:19:05,208 Are my son and I ever gonna be okay? 495 00:19:05,252 --> 00:19:06,731 - He loves you. 496 00:19:06,775 --> 00:19:08,820 Just stop taking your feelings about his mom out on him. 497 00:19:08,864 --> 00:19:11,345 Also, make a consistent schedule and stick to it! 498 00:19:11,388 --> 00:19:13,521 [camera shutter clicking] 499 00:19:13,564 --> 00:19:15,958 - Oh, wait, wait. Wait a second. 500 00:19:16,001 --> 00:19:17,264 Okay. 501 00:19:17,307 --> 00:19:19,875 - Oh, my God. Why are you hugging Mom's urn? 502 00:19:19,918 --> 00:19:21,703 - So women know I'm not divorced. 503 00:19:21,746 --> 00:19:23,400 - This just looks like you murdered Mom, 504 00:19:23,444 --> 00:19:26,011 and are kind of bragging that you got away with it. 505 00:19:26,055 --> 00:19:27,926 - Good note. 506 00:19:27,970 --> 00:19:31,147 Okay, so, should I show a lot of teeth when I smile? 507 00:19:31,191 --> 00:19:33,715 I'm kinda proud of my gum health. 508 00:19:33,758 --> 00:19:36,196 - Dad, just be normal. 509 00:19:37,762 --> 00:19:40,069 - [laughs] I don't know. 510 00:19:40,112 --> 00:19:41,244 - There he is! 511 00:19:41,288 --> 00:19:43,594 Okay, now where do we wanna put this? 512 00:19:43,638 --> 00:19:45,117 You're the mayor, so you need some privacy. 513 00:19:45,161 --> 00:19:47,076 - Well, I already signed up for Postmates. 514 00:19:47,119 --> 00:19:51,602 - Dad, that's a food thing. For restaurants. 515 00:19:51,646 --> 00:19:53,561 - So when I checked Cuban, Asian, 516 00:19:53,604 --> 00:19:55,476 and New American, that was all food? 517 00:19:55,519 --> 00:19:56,999 - Ew, what? 518 00:19:57,042 --> 00:19:59,915 Okay, let's try Graya. It's like old people's Raya. 519 00:19:59,958 --> 00:20:02,265 Let's pick an appropriate age range. 520 00:20:02,309 --> 00:20:03,701 55 to-- 521 00:20:03,745 --> 00:20:05,355 - 35? - 75. 522 00:20:05,399 --> 00:20:06,878 - [laughs] God. 523 00:20:06,922 --> 00:20:10,708 All right, yes, yes. Go ahead and hit send. 524 00:20:10,752 --> 00:20:13,668 - Save, but good job. 525 00:20:13,711 --> 00:20:16,105 I'm really proud of you. 526 00:20:16,148 --> 00:20:19,195 [doorbell rings] It's probably Postmates. 527 00:20:19,239 --> 00:20:21,284 We're gonna be eating a lot of healthy Armenian 528 00:20:21,328 --> 00:20:22,851 the next couple of days. 529 00:20:22,894 --> 00:20:25,375 Ooh, that's a nice one. 530 00:20:25,419 --> 00:20:27,682 Hey, ho. 531 00:20:27,725 --> 00:20:29,292 - Here's your budget. 532 00:20:29,336 --> 00:20:30,946 Checked, re-checked, 533 00:20:30,989 --> 00:20:33,296 and then we got a little crazy and checked it again. 534 00:20:33,340 --> 00:20:35,516 - But the important thing is, we did it together, 535 00:20:35,559 --> 00:20:37,387 and we're all the smartest. 536 00:20:37,431 --> 00:20:40,042 And at midnight, we did Bloody Mary in the mirror! 537 00:20:40,085 --> 00:20:42,827 - Only Jayden did that, sir, and he soiled himself. 538 00:20:42,871 --> 00:20:45,613 - I got these out of a lost and found. 539 00:20:45,656 --> 00:20:48,790 - Hey, Tommy. Ooh! 540 00:20:48,833 --> 00:20:50,922 Do you usually straighten your hair? 541 00:20:50,966 --> 00:20:53,273 - Oh, no, no, no, no. 542 00:20:53,316 --> 00:20:57,146 She poofed! This is why I left London. 543 00:20:57,189 --> 00:20:59,148 [whimpers] 544 00:20:59,191 --> 00:21:01,846 - Anyway, great job, you guys. Thank you very much. 545 00:21:01,890 --> 00:21:05,676 One tiny note. 546 00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:08,723 Cover page says "City Bulget." 547 00:21:08,766 --> 00:21:10,507 Tommy! 548 00:21:10,551 --> 00:21:12,944 - All right, back to work. 549 00:21:12,988 --> 00:21:15,860 Jayden, do your thing. 550 00:21:17,732 --> 00:21:19,386 - [sighs] 551 00:21:19,429 --> 00:21:23,259 [bassoon scales] 552 00:21:23,303 --> 00:21:25,305 - Good night, everybody! - Good night!