1 00:00:04,569 --> 00:00:04,743 . 2 00:00:04,787 --> 00:00:06,310 - Today is the day. 3 00:00:06,354 --> 00:00:07,920 - Isn't that always true, sir? 4 00:00:07,964 --> 00:00:10,836 - Our sister city mayors start arriving this morning. 5 00:00:10,880 --> 00:00:12,490 Hey, Jayden, I appreciate 6 00:00:12,534 --> 00:00:14,753 that you listened when I said, "Try to look nice." 7 00:00:14,797 --> 00:00:16,712 - Oh, can you tell it's from a magician's costume? 8 00:00:16,755 --> 00:00:18,453 - I think the coat and tie is plenty. 9 00:00:18,496 --> 00:00:20,107 - Oh. - Okay, this visit 10 00:00:20,150 --> 00:00:22,674 isn't just about pleasantries and goodwill. 11 00:00:22,718 --> 00:00:26,330 We have a chance to do real things for the city here. 12 00:00:26,374 --> 00:00:28,637 I mean, Nagoya, Japan, has a bullet train 13 00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:31,205 that could get you to San Diego in an hour. 14 00:00:31,248 --> 00:00:33,816 - To protest the navy's secret dolphin programs. 15 00:00:33,859 --> 00:00:35,122 - And I want to set up a cultural exchange 16 00:00:35,165 --> 00:00:36,688 with the mayor of Giza. 17 00:00:36,732 --> 00:00:39,300 The treasures of the pyramids in exchange for some 18 00:00:39,343 --> 00:00:40,562 of our cultural artifacts, 19 00:00:40,605 --> 00:00:42,346 like Kevin Hart's watch collection. 20 00:00:42,390 --> 00:00:44,044 - Kevin Hart lives in my building. 21 00:00:44,087 --> 00:00:45,175 - Jayden, we've been over this. 22 00:00:45,219 --> 00:00:46,829 That's a precocious Black child. 23 00:00:46,872 --> 00:00:48,352 - [mouthing words] - And fingers crossed, 24 00:00:48,396 --> 00:00:51,529 the mayor of Auckland could be our connection to finally 25 00:00:51,573 --> 00:00:54,837 getting some chlamydia-free koalas for the LA Zoo. 26 00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:56,360 - Oh! [applause] 27 00:00:56,404 --> 00:00:59,146 - So this event was Jayden's brainchild, 28 00:00:59,189 --> 00:01:02,845 so he will have the honor of picking the mayors up from LAX. 29 00:01:02,888 --> 00:01:04,151 This is gonna be amazing. 30 00:01:04,194 --> 00:01:05,848 I finally get to do what I'm good at. 31 00:01:05,891 --> 00:01:08,807 - Keeping it tight? - Negotiating face-to-face, 32 00:01:08,851 --> 00:01:10,766 turning on the charm, making deals, 33 00:01:10,809 --> 00:01:12,507 cutting through red tape. 34 00:01:12,550 --> 00:01:14,335 I mean, the bureaucracy here-- 35 00:01:14,378 --> 00:01:17,033 I'm still waiting for approval to remove that bust 36 00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:18,556 of OJ Simpson. 37 00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:21,255 But today it's just me in a room working my magic. 38 00:01:21,298 --> 00:01:22,821 - Oh, if you need a cape. 39 00:01:22,865 --> 00:01:25,563 - Last Father's Day, Orly gave me a mug that says, 40 00:01:25,607 --> 00:01:28,740 "You got the same hours in a day as Beyoncé." 41 00:01:28,784 --> 00:01:32,309 Well, today I'm getting more done than she ever dreamed of. 42 00:01:32,353 --> 00:01:34,137 - You can't say that. - Take it back. 43 00:01:34,181 --> 00:01:35,834 both: The hive is always listening. 44 00:01:35,878 --> 00:01:38,837 [bright music] 45 00:01:38,881 --> 00:01:44,843 ♪ 46 00:01:44,887 --> 00:01:46,149 - Good weekend? 47 00:01:46,193 --> 00:01:48,369 - Fantastic. My downstairs neighbor 48 00:01:48,412 --> 00:01:50,022 parked me in, so I couldn't leave the house. 49 00:01:50,066 --> 00:01:52,329 It was a great opportunity for me to have cereal nine times. 50 00:01:52,373 --> 00:01:54,244 - Oh, you should've called me. I love cereal. 51 00:01:54,288 --> 00:01:56,203 - Oh, are we calling each other 52 00:01:56,246 --> 00:01:58,596 like we interact outside of business hours? 53 00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:00,859 - Yeah, you're right. Seems risky. 54 00:02:02,339 --> 00:02:05,037 - Ooh, was that flirting? 55 00:02:05,081 --> 00:02:06,300 Well, let me go get a plate, 56 00:02:06,343 --> 00:02:08,171 'cause I need some of that dish, girlfriend. 57 00:02:08,215 --> 00:02:09,912 - What? No. Go away. 58 00:02:09,955 --> 00:02:11,261 Wait, wait, wait, wait. 59 00:02:11,305 --> 00:02:13,220 Do you really think he was flirting? 60 00:02:13,263 --> 00:02:14,264 - Let's just say that over the years, 61 00:02:14,308 --> 00:02:16,310 I have observed a lot of romance. 62 00:02:16,353 --> 00:02:17,963 I'm my mom's wingman. - What? 63 00:02:18,007 --> 00:02:19,791 Okay, well, there's nothing going on between me and James. 64 00:02:19,835 --> 00:02:21,619 He and I are colleagues, so please don't share 65 00:02:21,663 --> 00:02:23,708 your observations with anyone else, okay? 66 00:02:23,752 --> 00:02:25,928 - No problem, as long as I never experience 67 00:02:25,971 --> 00:02:29,627 a lull in conversations, 'cause I can't handle silences. 68 00:02:29,671 --> 00:02:30,802 Like this one. 69 00:02:30,846 --> 00:02:32,804 Oh, God, Mikaela, please say something. 70 00:02:32,848 --> 00:02:33,892 Fill the silence. 71 00:02:33,936 --> 00:02:36,243 I give my cat a bath by licking it! 72 00:02:36,286 --> 00:02:38,375 ♪ 73 00:02:38,419 --> 00:02:42,205 - Okay, Orly, pretend you're the mayor of Nagoya. 74 00:02:42,249 --> 00:02:44,251 - You want me to pretend to be Japanese? 75 00:02:44,294 --> 00:02:45,469 That's appropriation. 76 00:02:45,513 --> 00:02:48,211 - [sighs] Fine, you can do Athens. 77 00:02:48,255 --> 00:02:49,952 - Hi, I'm the mayor of Athens. 78 00:02:49,995 --> 00:02:51,649 - You know, if you're just gonna phone it in... 79 00:02:51,693 --> 00:02:52,737 [explosions] 80 00:02:52,781 --> 00:02:55,305 Is that gunfire? - I can't die today. 81 00:02:55,349 --> 00:02:57,220 My dried flower arrangements are out there. 82 00:02:57,264 --> 00:02:58,874 They're Kelly Clarkson for Wayfair! 83 00:02:58,917 --> 00:03:00,702 [explosion, bell rings] 84 00:03:00,745 --> 00:03:04,662 - Okay, back to one, people. Resetting the pyro. 85 00:03:04,706 --> 00:03:06,838 - Excuse me. Is this a film set? 86 00:03:06,882 --> 00:03:09,493 - It's a movie. Megan Fox is playing a senator. 87 00:03:09,537 --> 00:03:10,712 - Okay, you're gonna need to shut this down. 88 00:03:10,755 --> 00:03:12,453 The mayor is throwing a party next door. 89 00:03:12,496 --> 00:03:15,630 - And we've got permits from the mayor's office. 90 00:03:15,673 --> 00:03:18,241 - "The Town 2, colon, Town and Out"? 91 00:03:18,285 --> 00:03:19,677 You're shooting LA for Boston? 92 00:03:19,721 --> 00:03:20,852 - They're gonna change the palm trees 93 00:03:20,896 --> 00:03:22,898 to statues of John Adams. It'll be fine. 94 00:03:22,941 --> 00:03:24,508 - But the mayors are coming in an hour. 95 00:03:24,552 --> 00:03:26,771 This is so important to my boss and therefore to me. 96 00:03:26,815 --> 00:03:29,513 - If only the exposition in "The Town 2" were that subtle. 97 00:03:29,557 --> 00:03:31,036 We're breaking for lunch in an hour, 98 00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:32,647 so today's your lucky day. 99 00:03:33,952 --> 00:03:37,347 - Okay, so "hello" in Greek is "yassas." 100 00:03:37,391 --> 00:03:39,610 "Yes-ass"? I'm not saying that. 101 00:03:39,654 --> 00:03:41,046 - Sir, about the commotion outside. 102 00:03:41,090 --> 00:03:43,658 - Yeah, why does anyone live on the east side? 103 00:03:43,701 --> 00:03:45,573 It's loud, there's no ocean, 104 00:03:45,616 --> 00:03:47,705 and every restaurant has to have a concept. 105 00:03:47,749 --> 00:03:50,839 Here's a concept: Italian. - Well observed, sir. 106 00:03:50,882 --> 00:03:53,929 Anyway, the headline is: I took care of it. 107 00:03:53,972 --> 00:03:56,323 - Well, thank you, Tommy. You're a lifesaver. 108 00:03:56,366 --> 00:03:58,542 - [gasps] Well, yeah, 109 00:03:58,586 --> 00:03:59,891 I know how important today is, 110 00:03:59,935 --> 00:04:03,199 so I flexed some muscle and was a real buff boy. 111 00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:05,462 - Oh, well, great job. 112 00:04:05,506 --> 00:04:07,595 I don't know what the city would do without you. 113 00:04:10,293 --> 00:04:12,077 - [yelps] - A little birdie told me 114 00:04:12,121 --> 00:04:14,471 you want to make babies with that I-Team boombalottie. 115 00:04:14,515 --> 00:04:16,038 - Damn it, Jayden. 116 00:04:16,081 --> 00:04:18,040 - My blood sugar drops right before lunch 117 00:04:18,083 --> 00:04:19,389 and I get kind of quiet, 118 00:04:19,433 --> 00:04:21,783 and that boy just has to fill the silence. 119 00:04:21,826 --> 00:04:23,350 - Okay, well, look, I know what you're gonna say, 120 00:04:23,393 --> 00:04:24,699 but don't bother. 121 00:04:24,742 --> 00:04:26,527 There is nothing going on between me and James. 122 00:04:26,570 --> 00:04:29,094 - Okay, and what was I gonna say? 123 00:04:29,138 --> 00:04:32,097 - Uh, dating your coworkers is a terrible idea. 124 00:04:32,141 --> 00:04:33,664 - Wrong. 125 00:04:33,708 --> 00:04:36,232 This life of ours doesn't leave a lot of room for love, 126 00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:37,929 so you got to get your jollies 127 00:04:37,973 --> 00:04:41,106 whenever the Jolly Rancher rolls through town. 128 00:04:41,150 --> 00:04:42,717 And when I was your age, 129 00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:44,414 there was a young man I worked with. 130 00:04:44,458 --> 00:04:47,199 Name was Yitzhak Schimmel, 131 00:04:47,243 --> 00:04:48,810 Councilman Yitzhak Schimmel. 132 00:04:48,853 --> 00:04:50,115 - Damn, Arpi. 133 00:04:50,159 --> 00:04:52,596 You say his name the way I say Regé-Jean Page. 134 00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:54,903 - He was a whole snack, that one. 135 00:04:54,946 --> 00:04:57,558 Chest hairs sprouting like onion grass, 136 00:04:57,601 --> 00:04:59,951 payos blowing in the wind. 137 00:04:59,995 --> 00:05:01,562 We had a real connection. 138 00:05:01,605 --> 00:05:03,390 - How come I've never heard you talk about him? 139 00:05:03,433 --> 00:05:04,739 - Because nothing happened. 140 00:05:04,782 --> 00:05:06,784 I figured I wasn't his type. 141 00:05:06,828 --> 00:05:09,134 Then he ended up marrying David Spade's stunt woman, 142 00:05:09,178 --> 00:05:10,658 so that's how wrong I was. 143 00:05:10,701 --> 00:05:11,920 I don't want that for you. 144 00:05:11,963 --> 00:05:13,878 - Yeah, I don't want any of that for me. 145 00:05:13,922 --> 00:05:15,140 - So take your shot. 146 00:05:15,184 --> 00:05:17,099 - Yeah, okay. 147 00:05:17,142 --> 00:05:19,101 I mean, I haven't had to make the first move with anyone 148 00:05:19,144 --> 00:05:21,233 since my aesthetician separated my eyebrows, 149 00:05:21,277 --> 00:05:24,367 but I can do this, right? 150 00:05:24,411 --> 00:05:26,500 - I'm not used to playing the BFF role, 151 00:05:26,543 --> 00:05:29,154 so I looked up some girl power quotes online. 152 00:05:29,198 --> 00:05:33,289 "Being in the Spice Girls was an insane experience." 153 00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:36,205 Melanie Chisholm. - Yeah, it was. 154 00:05:36,248 --> 00:05:37,554 Okay, I got this. 155 00:05:37,598 --> 00:05:39,382 - But remember, per human resources, 156 00:05:39,426 --> 00:05:42,820 you only get to ask once, so don't blow it. 157 00:05:42,864 --> 00:05:44,431 - Oh, yeah, okay. 158 00:05:44,474 --> 00:05:45,823 - If he wants to be your lover, 159 00:05:45,867 --> 00:05:47,172 he's got to get with your friends. 160 00:05:47,216 --> 00:05:48,826 - That's a good one, Arpi. 161 00:05:48,870 --> 00:05:53,570 - ♪ Oh, picking up mayors, rhyming with "mayors" ♪ 162 00:05:53,614 --> 00:05:55,572 ♪ Some horses are mares 163 00:05:55,616 --> 00:05:57,618 ♪ What else rhymes with "mayors" ♪ 164 00:06:04,102 --> 00:06:06,670 - Uh, no, son. 165 00:06:08,411 --> 00:06:13,982 ♪ 166 00:06:14,025 --> 00:06:17,028 - I'm coming, mayors! 167 00:06:17,072 --> 00:06:18,987 - Okay, that's lunch. 168 00:06:19,030 --> 00:06:21,598 Catering is in that old house on Irving. 169 00:06:23,470 --> 00:06:25,210 - Where is the farthest bathroom? 170 00:06:25,254 --> 00:06:26,951 - Raj, as far as I'm concerned, 171 00:06:26,995 --> 00:06:28,692 you don't exist till after lunch. 172 00:06:31,739 --> 00:06:34,002 - All right, is there lunch is at? 173 00:06:34,045 --> 00:06:35,699 - It most certainly is, your excellency. 174 00:06:35,743 --> 00:06:37,484 Right this way. - Oh. 175 00:06:38,267 --> 00:06:42,967 ♪ 176 00:06:43,011 --> 00:06:46,231 - Welcome. What an honor this is. 177 00:06:46,275 --> 00:06:47,711 Please come in, come in. 178 00:06:47,755 --> 00:06:49,713 - Where is your farthest bathroom? 179 00:06:49,757 --> 00:06:52,629 - Far--up the stairs, last door on the left. 180 00:06:52,673 --> 00:06:54,022 Yeah. [chuckles] 181 00:06:55,893 --> 00:06:58,505 "Yes-ass." [chuckles] 182 00:07:00,202 --> 00:07:01,638 [chuckles] 183 00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:04,206 Oh, okay. 184 00:07:05,860 --> 00:07:06,295 . 185 00:07:06,338 --> 00:07:08,123 - Thank you for coming straight here. 186 00:07:08,166 --> 00:07:09,559 I hope you're not too tired. 187 00:07:09,603 --> 00:07:11,431 - No, I took some of my stepson's ADHD medication, 188 00:07:11,474 --> 00:07:13,781 so I am flying. [chuckles] 189 00:07:13,824 --> 00:07:15,130 Ooh. 190 00:07:17,698 --> 00:07:19,917 - Some of these guys do not match 191 00:07:19,961 --> 00:07:21,310 the pictures you printed out. 192 00:07:21,353 --> 00:07:23,007 - Oh, profile pics never match reality, sir. 193 00:07:23,051 --> 00:07:24,444 Mine, very misleading. 194 00:07:24,487 --> 00:07:26,794 - Well, time to make some deals. 195 00:07:26,837 --> 00:07:28,448 Watch and learn, Tommy. 196 00:07:28,491 --> 00:07:29,971 - This'll be like watching Michael Jordan 197 00:07:30,014 --> 00:07:31,668 jump up and throw the ball 198 00:07:31,712 --> 00:07:32,756 and it goes through a ring and then-- 199 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:35,063 - Stay in your lane, buddy. [laughs] 200 00:07:36,151 --> 00:07:39,415 - The cryptocurrency I'm really into is called Batmancoin. 201 00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:40,677 And if you're looking to buy some, 202 00:07:40,721 --> 00:07:42,505 I'm looking to sell all of mine. 203 00:07:42,549 --> 00:07:45,073 - Well, it sounds wonderful. 204 00:07:45,682 --> 00:07:47,684 Boy, I don't know how you do your day job 205 00:07:47,728 --> 00:07:49,773 and take care of all these birds. 206 00:07:49,817 --> 00:07:53,603 - They have machine feeders. - Oh, look at that. 207 00:07:53,647 --> 00:07:56,519 - I always change my shoes at lunch for energy. 208 00:07:56,563 --> 00:07:59,174 If all your shoes are brown, you won't affect continuity. 209 00:07:59,217 --> 00:08:02,003 - What a beautiful proverb. 210 00:08:02,046 --> 00:08:03,831 Oh, here we go. 211 00:08:05,746 --> 00:08:08,618 - What's up? Working for the weekend? 212 00:08:08,662 --> 00:08:10,577 - I am actually doing that Buzzfeed quiz you sent me, 213 00:08:10,620 --> 00:08:13,144 and the Buzzfeed quiz I'm most like is 214 00:08:13,188 --> 00:08:14,406 the one where you find out 215 00:08:14,450 --> 00:08:15,495 which Buzzfeed quiz you're most like. 216 00:08:15,538 --> 00:08:17,018 Wow, I'm caught in a vortex. 217 00:08:17,061 --> 00:08:19,934 - Totally. Anyways, uh... 218 00:08:19,977 --> 00:08:21,370 [with mobster voice] I's only got one chance 219 00:08:21,413 --> 00:08:22,676 to make this count, 220 00:08:22,719 --> 00:08:24,852 so listen good to what I'm telling ya, capisce? 221 00:08:24,895 --> 00:08:28,203 [normally] Guys like "The Sopranos," whatever. 222 00:08:28,246 --> 00:08:31,728 - Hold on, you have something... 223 00:08:31,772 --> 00:08:33,904 Is that a Breathe Right strip? - Oh. 224 00:08:33,948 --> 00:08:35,471 - Oh, okay, we're gonna have to cut that out. 225 00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:36,820 - No, I can get it later. 226 00:08:36,864 --> 00:08:41,433 Um, but weekend, what are you doing during it? 227 00:08:41,477 --> 00:08:43,348 - I was gonna go see my friend's play, 228 00:08:43,392 --> 00:08:45,220 but then I realized I would rather 229 00:08:45,263 --> 00:08:46,743 lose that person as a friend. - [laughs] 230 00:08:46,787 --> 00:08:49,659 [phone buzzing] Oh, sorry. 231 00:08:49,703 --> 00:08:54,664 It's just, I'm also free Saturday for once, 232 00:08:54,708 --> 00:08:56,492 so I thought maybe you... [phone buzzing] 233 00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:59,887 And I could, um... 234 00:08:59,930 --> 00:09:02,193 This better be an emergency. - It is. 235 00:09:02,237 --> 00:09:05,457 There's been a murder, because I'm killing it. 236 00:09:05,501 --> 00:09:07,285 Now, that's what I call job security. 237 00:09:07,329 --> 00:09:09,679 - Oh, my God, Tommy, I don't care. 238 00:09:09,723 --> 00:09:11,333 - Neil said that the city was lucky to have me, 239 00:09:11,376 --> 00:09:14,989 and I just want to assure you that I don't want your job. 240 00:09:15,032 --> 00:09:16,599 - Uh, yeah, I'm not worried about that. 241 00:09:16,643 --> 00:09:18,253 - Why are you never threatened by me? 242 00:09:18,296 --> 00:09:20,951 I'm smart and I'm ambitious and I am working on my posture. 243 00:09:20,995 --> 00:09:23,301 - I got to handle this. Someone at DWP clicked 244 00:09:23,345 --> 00:09:24,520 a bad link, and now there's sewage 245 00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:25,913 coming up people's toilets. 246 00:09:25,956 --> 00:09:27,871 - Oh. [chuckles] 247 00:09:27,915 --> 00:09:30,308 Wait, was that my shot? 248 00:09:30,352 --> 00:09:31,701 That wasn't my shot. 249 00:09:31,745 --> 00:09:34,443 That wasn't it. Arpi? 250 00:09:34,486 --> 00:09:36,532 [glass clinks] 251 00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:41,145 - I just want to thank all of you for being here today. 252 00:09:41,189 --> 00:09:42,973 I always wanted to have a sister, 253 00:09:43,017 --> 00:09:46,237 and now I've got six. 254 00:09:46,281 --> 00:09:49,632 [laughs] 255 00:09:49,676 --> 00:09:51,155 Right. 256 00:09:51,199 --> 00:09:53,375 I want to talk about how we can help each other. 257 00:09:53,418 --> 00:09:55,986 - Oh, so true. I mean, think about it. 258 00:09:56,030 --> 00:09:57,988 Me and this guy, same height, 259 00:09:58,032 --> 00:10:00,512 doesn't mean we're going out for the same things. 260 00:10:00,556 --> 00:10:03,037 Mate, you ever need a reader, I'm here for you. 261 00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:04,473 [applause] 262 00:10:04,516 --> 00:10:05,953 - Yeah, exactly. 263 00:10:05,996 --> 00:10:09,260 There's no reason we shouldn't be sharing resources. 264 00:10:09,304 --> 00:10:11,567 Let's talk about transportation. 265 00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:13,438 - Don't get me started on transpo. 266 00:10:13,482 --> 00:10:18,052 [laughter] 267 00:10:18,095 --> 00:10:21,316 - You know, there is a project I'm really excited 268 00:10:21,359 --> 00:10:23,753 to help develop, and that's the bullet train. 269 00:10:23,797 --> 00:10:26,930 - The "Bullet Train"? The Brad Pitt movie? 270 00:10:26,974 --> 00:10:28,540 It's out already. 271 00:10:28,584 --> 00:10:30,107 - This guy's crazy. 272 00:10:30,151 --> 00:10:33,415 - I know you guys have honed that technology in Japan. 273 00:10:34,285 --> 00:10:39,029 - Oh, my God, is this real? I'm six days sober. 274 00:10:39,073 --> 00:10:41,205 - Oh, my--oh, I am so sorry. 275 00:10:41,249 --> 00:10:42,511 Tommy, don't let him leave. 276 00:10:42,554 --> 00:10:44,469 We got to be part of this bullet train thing. 277 00:10:44,513 --> 00:10:46,689 - It's too late. That project's over. 278 00:10:46,733 --> 00:10:47,908 - It is? 279 00:10:47,951 --> 00:10:49,692 - Yeah, you got to read the blogs, guy. 280 00:10:49,736 --> 00:10:51,651 - Susan, thank you for seeing us. 281 00:10:51,694 --> 00:10:54,131 I am well aware of the one-ask policy 282 00:10:54,175 --> 00:10:55,480 for interoffice romance. 283 00:10:55,524 --> 00:10:57,700 I respect it. I respect you. 284 00:10:57,744 --> 00:10:59,615 - Okay, what happened? 285 00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:01,704 - Okay, so you know who James Aniobi is, right? 286 00:11:01,748 --> 00:11:03,097 Good face, skin like silk, 287 00:11:03,140 --> 00:11:04,881 hard to tell under the suit but the bod seems tight. 288 00:11:04,925 --> 00:11:06,883 - Not okay, but I know who you mean. 289 00:11:06,927 --> 00:11:08,668 - Okay, so I went to ask him out once, 290 00:11:08,711 --> 00:11:10,626 but I only got, like, 3/4 of the way through 291 00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:11,758 and we got interrupted. 292 00:11:11,801 --> 00:11:13,542 I never actually finished the question, 293 00:11:13,585 --> 00:11:15,500 so that doesn't count as my ask, right? 294 00:11:15,544 --> 00:11:17,372 - Hmm. Interesting. 295 00:11:17,415 --> 00:11:18,721 - It was a checked swing, Susan. 296 00:11:18,765 --> 00:11:20,680 Her bat did not cross the plate. 297 00:11:20,723 --> 00:11:23,247 Ball one. - What exactly did you say? 298 00:11:23,291 --> 00:11:25,859 - I said, "I'm also free Saturday, 299 00:11:25,902 --> 00:11:28,992 and maybe you and I could," and then I got cut off. 300 00:11:29,036 --> 00:11:30,080 - How's that a question? 301 00:11:30,124 --> 00:11:31,429 Her voice didn't go up at the end. 302 00:11:31,473 --> 00:11:33,605 - Well, you definitely started asking him out. 303 00:11:33,649 --> 00:11:34,868 - But she could've been about to say anything. 304 00:11:34,911 --> 00:11:36,913 "Maybe you and I could not go to dinner." 305 00:11:36,957 --> 00:11:38,567 "Maybe you and I could each contribute 306 00:11:38,610 --> 00:11:40,003 "to my nephew's school fundraiser. 307 00:11:40,047 --> 00:11:41,744 The arts budget has been slashed." 308 00:11:41,788 --> 00:11:43,833 - [sighs] 309 00:11:43,877 --> 00:11:46,575 Ms. Shaw, your language was vague. 310 00:11:46,618 --> 00:11:49,012 And since the other case on my desk is a guy 311 00:11:49,056 --> 00:11:51,058 who was photographing his female coworkers' bellies 312 00:11:51,101 --> 00:11:53,147 under a conference table and ranking them, 313 00:11:53,190 --> 00:11:57,020 I am desperate for any example of positive human interaction. 314 00:11:57,064 --> 00:11:59,153 So you get one more ask. 315 00:11:59,196 --> 00:12:00,589 - Yes. - Rock and roll. 316 00:12:02,634 --> 00:12:04,245 Was I on that tummy list? 317 00:12:04,288 --> 00:12:05,376 - You won your age group. 318 00:12:05,420 --> 00:12:06,595 - Oh! 319 00:12:08,684 --> 00:12:10,512 - Hey, keep people out of there. 320 00:12:10,555 --> 00:12:12,035 The mayor of Nagoya is either taking a shower 321 00:12:12,079 --> 00:12:13,907 or running the shower to mask something worse. 322 00:12:13,950 --> 00:12:15,473 [phone buzzing] 323 00:12:15,517 --> 00:12:16,823 Yeah, Jayden, the mayors are weird. 324 00:12:16,866 --> 00:12:18,302 What did you do? 325 00:12:18,346 --> 00:12:20,565 - Well, they seem normal to me, but you know mayors. 326 00:12:20,609 --> 00:12:22,437 Look, I'm sorry I haven't gotten them there yet. 327 00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:24,787 Turns out, this vehicle isn't allowed on the highway, 328 00:12:24,831 --> 00:12:26,484 but I did get to meet a motorcycle police lady. 329 00:12:26,528 --> 00:12:27,877 - Wait, what are you talking about? 330 00:12:27,921 --> 00:12:29,400 - I'm saying that I had to take side streets, 331 00:12:29,444 --> 00:12:30,750 which means turning, 332 00:12:30,793 --> 00:12:33,143 and this is more of a go-straight car. 333 00:12:33,187 --> 00:12:35,406 - But the mayors are here. 334 00:12:35,450 --> 00:12:38,627 Did he just--what the-- 335 00:12:38,670 --> 00:12:40,542 - Ah, chlamydia's not so bad. 336 00:12:40,585 --> 00:12:41,978 What you should be worried about is the fact 337 00:12:42,022 --> 00:12:44,851 that Y2K did happen and this is all a simulation. 338 00:12:44,894 --> 00:12:47,288 - Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God, Jayden, get them here now. 339 00:12:47,331 --> 00:12:48,680 - Okay, but if I drive too fast, 340 00:12:48,724 --> 00:12:50,160 the water's gonna spill out of the hot tub. 341 00:12:52,423 --> 00:12:55,078 - You know, I can cry on command 342 00:12:55,122 --> 00:12:56,776 just like Anne Hathaway. 343 00:12:58,342 --> 00:13:01,476 [both crying] 344 00:13:04,740 --> 00:13:04,914 . 345 00:13:04,958 --> 00:13:07,961 [dramatic music] 346 00:13:08,004 --> 00:13:09,789 ♪ 347 00:13:09,832 --> 00:13:12,182 - Boy, you know, that mayor looks a lot like the guy 348 00:13:12,226 --> 00:13:13,967 from the background of "Riverdale," you know, 349 00:13:14,010 --> 00:13:16,273 who became a meme 'cause he did so much pointing. 350 00:13:16,317 --> 00:13:18,275 - Okay, Orly, we have a little situation here. 351 00:13:18,319 --> 00:13:19,581 These aren't mayors. 352 00:13:19,624 --> 00:13:20,930 They are-- how do you say it in English-- 353 00:13:20,974 --> 00:13:22,802 randos, and your father doesn't know, 354 00:13:22,845 --> 00:13:24,368 so you have to tell him. - No way. 355 00:13:24,412 --> 00:13:25,413 He'll get all embarrassed, 356 00:13:25,456 --> 00:13:26,588 and then he'll be in a bad mood. 357 00:13:26,631 --> 00:13:27,981 And I need him to sign a permission slip 358 00:13:28,024 --> 00:13:30,679 so I can go on a school field trip to Ibiza. 359 00:13:30,722 --> 00:13:32,463 Veda's dad is Diplo, so... - Okay, well, I need this 360 00:13:32,507 --> 00:13:34,639 to go well so I'll get a 15% raise at the end of the year 361 00:13:34,683 --> 00:13:36,337 because I cannot live within my means, Orly. 362 00:13:36,380 --> 00:13:37,512 - Okay, but what are we gonna do? 363 00:13:37,555 --> 00:13:38,861 I mean, he's gonna find out eventually. 364 00:13:38,905 --> 00:13:41,255 - Would I crack your back for you? 365 00:13:41,298 --> 00:13:43,300 - Please? - I guess. 366 00:13:43,344 --> 00:13:44,824 Here you go. 367 00:13:44,867 --> 00:13:46,303 - Okay, we need to stall until the real mayors get here. 368 00:13:46,347 --> 00:13:48,697 If I learned anything interning for Lindsey Graham, 369 00:13:48,740 --> 00:13:49,829 it's that you never tell the boss about the problem 370 00:13:49,872 --> 00:13:51,221 until you have a solution, 371 00:13:51,265 --> 00:13:52,832 unless you like getting put in the naughty closet. 372 00:13:52,875 --> 00:13:55,660 - Where is your farthest bathroom? 373 00:13:56,531 --> 00:13:58,620 - Sir, how would you like to be upgraded to a speaking role? 374 00:13:58,663 --> 00:13:59,795 - I'm in the union. 375 00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:01,014 - Yeah, yeah, I'll pay your rate. 376 00:14:01,057 --> 00:14:02,406 - It's $1,030. 377 00:14:02,450 --> 00:14:04,495 - Fine, I'll Venmo you. 378 00:14:04,539 --> 00:14:05,670 Call my last number and ask Jayden 379 00:14:05,714 --> 00:14:06,715 what the hell's taking him so long. 380 00:14:06,758 --> 00:14:07,890 Follow me. - I really need the-- 381 00:14:07,934 --> 00:14:09,370 - I will take you to the bathroom. 382 00:14:09,413 --> 00:14:10,545 - Okay. [phone buzzes] 383 00:14:10,588 --> 00:14:12,503 - What up, Tommy from another mommy? 384 00:14:12,547 --> 00:14:14,462 - Jayden, it's Orly Bremer. 385 00:14:14,505 --> 00:14:15,637 - Why do you have Tommy's phone? 386 00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:17,857 [gasps] You "Freaky Friday-ed." 387 00:14:17,900 --> 00:14:19,510 I believe you, and I'm here to help. 388 00:14:19,554 --> 00:14:22,209 - No, I'm just using his phone. Look, where are you guys? 389 00:14:22,252 --> 00:14:23,558 - Okay, full disclosure, 390 00:14:23,601 --> 00:14:25,168 the ride is taking longer than planned, 391 00:14:25,212 --> 00:14:27,823 so I stopped for the mayors to get out and bathroom. 392 00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:30,782 ETA is in flux because I don't know 393 00:14:30,826 --> 00:14:33,002 how I got in this spot. 394 00:14:33,046 --> 00:14:34,656 I think somebody moved a wall. 395 00:14:34,699 --> 00:14:37,528 - Okay, I feel like Tommy would tell me to yell at you now. 396 00:14:37,572 --> 00:14:39,356 So...Jayden! 397 00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:41,706 - I know. I'm sorry, ma'am. 398 00:14:41,750 --> 00:14:44,884 [cries] How did this happen? 399 00:14:44,927 --> 00:14:46,363 - Okay, last question. 400 00:14:46,407 --> 00:14:49,976 Am I playing this like I really am the mayor, 401 00:14:50,019 --> 00:14:54,371 or am I a guy convincing him I am the mayor? 402 00:14:54,415 --> 00:14:55,633 - Do you really think you're skilled enough 403 00:14:55,677 --> 00:14:56,547 that those layers are gonna show? 404 00:14:56,591 --> 00:14:57,722 Get in there. 405 00:14:59,986 --> 00:15:01,596 - Ho! There's my buddy. 406 00:15:01,639 --> 00:15:04,251 Ti kanes. [laughter] 407 00:15:04,294 --> 00:15:05,426 You enjoying yourself? 408 00:15:06,122 --> 00:15:08,908 - Yes and no. I have some problems. 409 00:15:08,951 --> 00:15:11,345 - Oh, you do? - I'm just kidding. 410 00:15:12,563 --> 00:15:15,740 I love you. I brought you this gift. 411 00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:18,134 Open it. - Oh, God. 412 00:15:18,178 --> 00:15:19,483 He's giving him an imaginary box. 413 00:15:19,527 --> 00:15:22,095 - Oh, oh, oh, I get it. 414 00:15:22,138 --> 00:15:24,706 This is a symbol that what we're giving each other 415 00:15:24,749 --> 00:15:26,186 is intangible. 416 00:15:26,229 --> 00:15:29,232 Please, accept my box. 417 00:15:29,276 --> 00:15:30,625 - That's not a box. 418 00:15:30,668 --> 00:15:32,322 - Maybe I'm talking too much. 419 00:15:32,366 --> 00:15:33,715 You tell me, 420 00:15:33,758 --> 00:15:36,370 how can we be helpful to the people of Athens? 421 00:15:36,413 --> 00:15:37,849 - Give me the codes. 422 00:15:37,893 --> 00:15:39,242 - No, I'm sorry. The codes? 423 00:15:39,286 --> 00:15:40,809 - I need the codes. - The codes. 424 00:15:40,852 --> 00:15:41,984 - I don't have much time. 425 00:15:42,028 --> 00:15:43,377 - Do you maybe mean telephone number? 426 00:15:43,420 --> 00:15:45,553 'Cause I'm happy to give you my direct line. 427 00:15:45,596 --> 00:15:46,946 - Nope, sir, I wouldn't. 428 00:15:46,989 --> 00:15:50,950 - You think you can seduce me with this life? 429 00:15:50,993 --> 00:15:54,170 The shrimp, the champagne, the wallpaper, 430 00:15:54,214 --> 00:15:57,782 the chairs, the banister, the other chair, 431 00:15:57,826 --> 00:15:59,871 all the shrimp? 432 00:16:01,090 --> 00:16:04,441 Everything I do is for you and your sister. 433 00:16:04,485 --> 00:16:05,921 - Yes, yes-- - No. 434 00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:08,271 - No, no, we are all sisters, yes. 435 00:16:08,315 --> 00:16:10,491 I agree with-- no, please, don't-- 436 00:16:10,534 --> 00:16:11,709 - Oh, God! 437 00:16:13,624 --> 00:16:14,843 - What just happened? 438 00:16:14,886 --> 00:16:17,802 - I don't know. - Bye, Dad, love you. 439 00:16:17,846 --> 00:16:19,674 - I don't get this. 440 00:16:19,717 --> 00:16:23,678 I--I'm great in a room, but I just-- 441 00:16:23,721 --> 00:16:26,463 I have made two of these guys storm out. 442 00:16:26,507 --> 00:16:30,250 And the mayor from Makati, she started to FaceTime her dog 443 00:16:30,293 --> 00:16:33,514 when I tried to engage her about cybersecurity. 444 00:16:33,557 --> 00:16:35,995 Have I lost my touch? 445 00:16:36,038 --> 00:16:38,388 - No, sir, you didn't do anything wrong. 446 00:16:38,432 --> 00:16:41,739 I did, and I didn't want to tell you before I fixed it. 447 00:16:41,783 --> 00:16:44,090 These people aren't really mayors. 448 00:16:44,133 --> 00:16:47,354 - What? Well, then who are they? 449 00:16:47,397 --> 00:16:48,746 - There you are. 450 00:16:48,790 --> 00:16:50,748 Adnan, Bryce, Harvey, the rest of you, 451 00:16:50,792 --> 00:16:52,011 I need you on set. 452 00:16:52,054 --> 00:16:53,229 Grandpa Tall Guy, let's go. 453 00:16:53,273 --> 00:16:55,884 - No, no, no, I'm the mayor. 454 00:16:55,927 --> 00:16:57,320 - Nice try. 455 00:16:57,364 --> 00:16:58,843 The mayor doesn't work till Friday, and he's Black. 456 00:16:58,887 --> 00:17:00,802 White mayors read as villains. 457 00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:04,153 - Tommy, where are the real mayors? 458 00:17:04,197 --> 00:17:05,676 - You know that strip mall on La Brea 459 00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:06,938 with the foot-shaped sign that used to say "Foot Doctor" 460 00:17:06,982 --> 00:17:08,070 and now it says "Day Care"? 461 00:17:08,114 --> 00:17:09,985 - Dan, get the car. Tommy, come here. 462 00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:11,943 - Sorry. - You knew this? 463 00:17:13,293 --> 00:17:14,337 - Oh, what's up? 464 00:17:14,381 --> 00:17:15,599 You got more garbage in your hair? 465 00:17:15,643 --> 00:17:17,862 - [laughs] Okay. 466 00:17:17,906 --> 00:17:21,649 Um, yeah, I was just--I was wondering 467 00:17:21,692 --> 00:17:25,870 if you would maybe like to get dinner on Saturday. 468 00:17:25,914 --> 00:17:27,785 - Like a date? 469 00:17:27,829 --> 00:17:29,613 - Like a date. 470 00:17:29,657 --> 00:17:30,701 - Right. 471 00:17:30,745 --> 00:17:35,228 Well, I would love to... say yes, 472 00:17:35,271 --> 00:17:37,447 but I can't. 473 00:17:39,319 --> 00:17:40,842 - Oh, you can't. 474 00:17:40,885 --> 00:17:42,191 Oh, cool, cool. 475 00:17:42,235 --> 00:17:43,975 Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. 476 00:17:44,019 --> 00:17:46,978 I, um--yeah, I can't either. 477 00:17:47,022 --> 00:17:51,331 I just remembered, Saturday, that's when "SNL" is on. 478 00:17:51,374 --> 00:17:54,073 It's a rerun, but Drake-- 479 00:17:54,116 --> 00:17:56,640 it's always fun to see that side of him. 480 00:17:56,684 --> 00:18:02,168 So I'm busy, but anyways, thank you for your hospitality. 481 00:18:03,343 --> 00:18:05,084 Okay. [laughs] 482 00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:10,219 - It's--it's-- - Okay. 483 00:18:12,221 --> 00:18:13,353 [sighs] 484 00:18:15,746 --> 00:18:16,095 . 485 00:18:16,138 --> 00:18:18,053 - What is that? 486 00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:20,795 Oh, please don't hit me. 487 00:18:20,838 --> 00:18:24,015 - City Hall has access to so many cars. 488 00:18:24,059 --> 00:18:26,409 What is this? - I wanted it to be special. 489 00:18:26,453 --> 00:18:28,411 And the guys at Cars of Stars Rentals 490 00:18:28,455 --> 00:18:31,110 said that this just screams Los Angeles, 491 00:18:31,153 --> 00:18:33,024 which it does if you use the horn. 492 00:18:33,068 --> 00:18:34,287 I think it's David Lee Roth's voice. 493 00:18:34,330 --> 00:18:35,897 - Jayden, where are the mayors? 494 00:18:35,940 --> 00:18:37,681 - They disappeared into the mall. 495 00:18:37,725 --> 00:18:39,248 Am I gonna be executed? 496 00:18:39,292 --> 00:18:41,163 - Yeah, this is worse than what I did, right, sir? 497 00:18:41,207 --> 00:18:43,034 I'm in less trouble than Jayden because-- 498 00:18:43,078 --> 00:18:46,342 - Jayden, my friend. [laughs] 499 00:18:46,386 --> 00:18:50,912 - Gentlemen, ma'am, I am so, so sorry. 500 00:18:50,955 --> 00:18:53,567 Oh, I see you got T-shirts. 501 00:18:53,610 --> 00:18:54,916 - Oh, and so much more. 502 00:18:54,959 --> 00:18:58,049 We got pizza, excellent omakase, 503 00:18:58,093 --> 00:19:00,051 a lunchtime face-lift. 504 00:19:00,095 --> 00:19:03,229 Then we had CBD brownies. [laughter] 505 00:19:03,272 --> 00:19:05,535 I had copies of all my keys made. 506 00:19:05,579 --> 00:19:08,799 And then a truck full of tacos just appeared. 507 00:19:08,843 --> 00:19:11,759 - And I got my nails, uh, did. 508 00:19:11,802 --> 00:19:13,064 Am I saying that correctly? 509 00:19:13,108 --> 00:19:14,414 - Actually, you are. - Oh! 510 00:19:14,457 --> 00:19:17,068 - And this guy, what a tour guide. 511 00:19:17,112 --> 00:19:18,896 [laughter] 512 00:19:18,940 --> 00:19:21,986 - Well, this was the plan. 513 00:19:22,030 --> 00:19:23,336 Welcome to LA. 514 00:19:23,379 --> 00:19:26,077 Hey, why don't we head back to Getty House 515 00:19:26,121 --> 00:19:27,470 and then talk turkey? 516 00:19:27,514 --> 00:19:30,212 - The Turks? They are animals. 517 00:19:30,256 --> 00:19:32,258 - Well, you know, I didn't-- - I'm kidding. 518 00:19:32,301 --> 00:19:34,173 I know what you mean. [laughter] 519 00:19:34,216 --> 00:19:36,914 I'm a little high. - It happens. 520 00:19:36,958 --> 00:19:38,916 All right, let's take my car, shall we? 521 00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:40,222 Here we go. - Thank you. 522 00:19:40,266 --> 00:19:42,224 - Welcome to LA. - Yeah. 523 00:19:42,268 --> 00:19:43,399 Hey, Tommy. - Yeah? 524 00:19:43,443 --> 00:19:45,140 - Jayden's gonna ride with us. 525 00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:47,273 I know you don't want to burden me with problems, 526 00:19:47,316 --> 00:19:49,057 so why don't you solve that 527 00:19:49,100 --> 00:19:51,451 and then tell me how you did it afterwards? 528 00:19:53,017 --> 00:19:54,323 - Oh, here. 529 00:19:59,154 --> 00:20:01,287 - Nice parking job, you idiot. 530 00:20:02,636 --> 00:20:05,247 - "I can't"? What does "I can't" even mean? 531 00:20:05,291 --> 00:20:06,553 "I can't because I'm busy"? 532 00:20:06,596 --> 00:20:07,945 "I can't because I love you so much 533 00:20:07,989 --> 00:20:09,208 and I'm scared of disappointing you"? 534 00:20:09,251 --> 00:20:10,905 - Look, this was fun before, 535 00:20:10,948 --> 00:20:13,429 but someone recorded themselves pulling it out on Zoom, so... 536 00:20:13,473 --> 00:20:15,431 - But can I have a follow-up ask, "Why not?" 537 00:20:15,475 --> 00:20:17,607 'Cause right before he said, "I can't," 538 00:20:17,651 --> 00:20:19,348 his eyes were like... 539 00:20:19,392 --> 00:20:23,004 and I could tell, inside, he was kind of like... 540 00:20:23,047 --> 00:20:24,788 - His words didn't match his eyes. 541 00:20:24,832 --> 00:20:26,529 They were inviting, 542 00:20:26,573 --> 00:20:28,879 like a piping-hot stew in a blizzard. 543 00:20:28,923 --> 00:20:31,665 - Okay, Mikaela, I want you to think about the last time 544 00:20:31,708 --> 00:20:33,971 someone made an unwanted advance toward you. 545 00:20:34,015 --> 00:20:35,712 - Richard Dreyfuss at baggage claim. 546 00:20:35,756 --> 00:20:37,932 - And would have appreciated a "Why not?" 547 00:20:37,975 --> 00:20:39,281 Would that have sat well? 548 00:20:39,325 --> 00:20:41,283 - [groans] Yeah, I see your point. 549 00:20:41,327 --> 00:20:42,980 He did do that, by the way. 550 00:20:43,024 --> 00:20:44,286 - I'm sorry, kid. 551 00:20:44,330 --> 00:20:46,810 If you like, I'll help you steal 552 00:20:46,854 --> 00:20:49,726 James' cologne so you can spray it on a body pillow. 553 00:20:49,770 --> 00:20:51,162 - Please do not do that. 554 00:20:51,206 --> 00:20:52,294 - Or maybe we could set you up 555 00:20:52,338 --> 00:20:53,730 with whoever whipped it out on Zoom. 556 00:20:53,774 --> 00:20:55,471 - Actually, she's married. 557 00:20:55,515 --> 00:20:57,560 - Yeah. 558 00:20:57,604 --> 00:21:00,215 [rock music] 559 00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:03,827 ♪ 560 00:21:03,871 --> 00:21:07,657 [horn honking] - ♪ Los Angeles 561 00:21:09,137 --> 00:21:11,357 - Hey, buddy! 562 00:21:12,358 --> 00:21:13,837 Guess what I did with the money. 563 00:21:13,881 --> 00:21:16,057 - Looks like you got fillers. - I got fillers. 564 00:21:16,100 --> 00:21:18,059 Yeah, but look, you'd never notice. 565 00:21:19,060 --> 00:21:20,801 Thanks, buddy. Whoo! 566 00:21:20,844 --> 00:21:24,587 [horn honking] - ♪ Los Angeles 567 00:21:24,631 --> 00:21:26,633 - Good night, everybody! - Good night!