1 00:00:07,659 --> 00:00:07,877 . 2 00:00:07,920 --> 00:00:09,879 - Where's your school uniform? 3 00:00:09,922 --> 00:00:11,141 If this is you rebelling, it's kind of lame. 4 00:00:11,185 --> 00:00:12,142 - I don't have school. 5 00:00:12,186 --> 00:00:13,665 It's public service week, 6 00:00:13,709 --> 00:00:16,364 and I got accepted into a prestigious intern program. 7 00:00:16,407 --> 00:00:19,758 - Oh, wow. Hey, congratulations! 8 00:00:19,802 --> 00:00:21,021 Where are we dropping you off? 9 00:00:21,064 --> 00:00:22,500 - City Hall! 10 00:00:22,544 --> 00:00:25,068 Yeah, I got into the Mayor's Youth Leadership Program. 11 00:00:25,112 --> 00:00:26,156 I didn't tell you I applied, 12 00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:27,331 because I didn't want you interfering. 13 00:00:27,375 --> 00:00:29,855 - [laughs] You little rascal! 14 00:00:29,899 --> 00:00:32,771 Does this mean I get to spend the next couple of days 15 00:00:32,815 --> 00:00:35,122 with my little girl? 16 00:00:35,165 --> 00:00:36,471 So proud of you. 17 00:00:36,514 --> 00:00:37,646 - Okay, well, get that out of your system, 18 00:00:37,689 --> 00:00:39,256 because you can't do that at the office. 19 00:00:39,300 --> 00:00:42,172 - Okay. [smooching] 20 00:00:42,216 --> 00:00:44,653 - Look, I got this internship on my own, 21 00:00:44,696 --> 00:00:46,698 and I don't want any special treatment. 22 00:00:46,742 --> 00:00:48,048 - Okay. [chuckles] 23 00:00:48,091 --> 00:00:49,049 -We're gonna be late to work, 24 00:00:49,092 --> 00:00:52,008 Mr. Mayor. - [laughs] 25 00:00:53,096 --> 00:00:55,446 - You didn't tell her that you got her into that program? 26 00:00:55,490 --> 00:00:58,188 - And you didn't tell me that my security codename 27 00:00:58,232 --> 00:00:59,537 is one of "The Golden Girls." 28 00:00:59,581 --> 00:01:01,844 - I apologize, sir. - Yeah. 29 00:01:02,540 --> 00:01:04,890 - Dorothy Zbornak has left the condo. 30 00:01:04,934 --> 00:01:07,893 [bright music] 31 00:01:07,937 --> 00:01:13,812 ♪ 32 00:01:15,249 --> 00:01:16,554 [knocks on door] 33 00:01:16,598 --> 00:01:18,208 - Hey, just FYI, James and the I-team 34 00:01:18,252 --> 00:01:19,427 are in San Bernardino today. 35 00:01:19,470 --> 00:01:21,559 - Umm, okay, and according to Insta, 36 00:01:21,603 --> 00:01:23,561 Lil' Kim is at the Culver City Applebee's. 37 00:01:23,605 --> 00:01:25,911 Are we just naming people and places, Tommy? 38 00:01:25,955 --> 00:01:28,218 - No, it's just everyone thinks you're hiding in here, 39 00:01:28,262 --> 00:01:29,567 because James rejected you. 40 00:01:29,611 --> 00:01:31,613 - What? - Hey, kiddo. 41 00:01:31,656 --> 00:01:32,918 What do you say if neither of us 42 00:01:32,962 --> 00:01:33,876 is married by the year 20-- 43 00:01:33,919 --> 00:01:35,399 - Get out! 44 00:01:37,314 --> 00:01:40,230 [sighs] - Look, I know I idle at shady, 45 00:01:40,274 --> 00:01:41,405 but I just wanna make sure you're okay. 46 00:01:41,449 --> 00:01:43,581 - Oh, I'm fine. And I'm not hiding. 47 00:01:43,625 --> 00:01:45,714 I'm just-- I'm social distancing. 48 00:01:45,757 --> 00:01:47,237 Because I've been chewing garlic cloves 49 00:01:47,281 --> 00:01:48,325 because of my toothache. 50 00:01:48,369 --> 00:01:49,761 It's a legit remedy. 51 00:01:49,805 --> 00:01:51,372 I saw it on the Italian grandma side of TikTok. 52 00:01:51,415 --> 00:01:53,417 - Okay, well, look. Silver lining, 53 00:01:53,461 --> 00:01:55,158 things wouldn't have worked out with James anyway. 54 00:01:55,202 --> 00:01:57,421 I mean, you have no time for anyone in your life. 55 00:01:57,465 --> 00:01:58,727 - What do you mean I don't have time? 56 00:01:58,770 --> 00:02:00,163 - All you do is work. 57 00:02:00,207 --> 00:02:01,860 - I have a life, Thomas. 58 00:02:01,904 --> 00:02:02,948 I mean, my college friends 59 00:02:02,992 --> 00:02:04,080 invited me out for drinks tonight, 60 00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:05,168 and I am gonna go. 61 00:02:05,212 --> 00:02:06,169 - You'll never make it. 62 00:02:06,213 --> 00:02:07,736 You have a proposal to write, 63 00:02:07,779 --> 00:02:10,042 a dentist appointment, two Zooms, a virtual bra fitting-- 64 00:02:10,086 --> 00:02:12,132 - Okay, I am un-sharing you from my Google Calendar, 65 00:02:12,175 --> 00:02:14,003 and I will prove you wrong. 66 00:02:14,046 --> 00:02:16,179 A little extra multi-tasking, and by tonight, 67 00:02:16,223 --> 00:02:17,615 I will have forgotten all about James, 68 00:02:17,659 --> 00:02:19,269 because I will be all up in that club, 69 00:02:19,313 --> 00:02:21,967 ♪ Smooching a stranger 70 00:02:22,011 --> 00:02:23,099 - We'll see, 'cause 71 00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:25,667 ♪ Your breath is a hate crime ♪ 72 00:02:25,710 --> 00:02:28,365 - It's from my toothache. [scoffs] 73 00:02:28,409 --> 00:02:30,193 [upbeat music] 74 00:02:30,237 --> 00:02:31,586 - Oh, hey, Arpi, don't forget, 75 00:02:31,629 --> 00:02:33,457 we have the youth leadership program kids today. 76 00:02:33,501 --> 00:02:36,634 - Oh, not a good day for me to have witnesses. 77 00:02:36,678 --> 00:02:38,245 - I was gonna go down to City Council 78 00:02:38,288 --> 00:02:39,898 and push my broadband bill. 79 00:02:39,942 --> 00:02:42,074 These kids think they want to see how the sausage gets made, 80 00:02:42,118 --> 00:02:45,295 but today, it's gonna be all rat cheeks and toenails. 81 00:02:45,339 --> 00:02:46,992 - We call this room The Bullpen, 82 00:02:47,036 --> 00:02:48,385 which is short for bull penis. 83 00:02:48,429 --> 00:02:51,301 - Wait, Orly Bremer is part of this? 84 00:02:51,345 --> 00:02:52,607 Okay, I'll split them with you, 85 00:02:52,650 --> 00:02:54,304 you take the other three, I get Orly. 86 00:02:54,348 --> 00:02:55,784 - Oh, so you can do what you do best? 87 00:02:55,827 --> 00:02:57,481 - Brown-nosing is not what I do best. 88 00:02:57,525 --> 00:02:58,874 It's what I do most. 89 00:02:58,917 --> 00:03:02,269 - North Korea has launched missiles at Los Angeles! 90 00:03:04,532 --> 00:03:06,229 - Now that I have everyone's attention, 91 00:03:06,273 --> 00:03:08,318 I would like to introduce the 2022 92 00:03:08,362 --> 00:03:11,103 Mayor's Youth Leadership Program participants. 93 00:03:11,147 --> 00:03:14,716 And in the interest of inclusion, partici-skirts. 94 00:03:15,717 --> 00:03:19,111 Inez Herrera was a finalist in the intel space competition. 95 00:03:19,155 --> 00:03:21,418 She speaks Spanish and Mandarin. 96 00:03:21,462 --> 00:03:23,203 Oh, gosh, it doesn't say English here. 97 00:03:23,246 --> 00:03:28,208 So wel-come I-nez. 98 00:03:28,251 --> 00:03:31,689 Maya Gilmore was invited to the Harvard Model U.N. competition, 99 00:03:31,733 --> 00:03:33,822 where she crafted a two-state solution 100 00:03:33,865 --> 00:03:35,258 for Israel and Palestine 101 00:03:35,302 --> 00:03:37,260 that no one had ever thought of before. 102 00:03:37,304 --> 00:03:39,088 Ben Williams is nationally ranked 103 00:03:39,131 --> 00:03:40,524 in Lincoln-Douglas debates, 104 00:03:40,568 --> 00:03:42,396 and was nominated for a Pulitzer 105 00:03:42,439 --> 00:03:44,876 for his photo series on the 2020 protests. 106 00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:47,531 And finally, Orly Bremer is on the Honor Roll, 107 00:03:47,575 --> 00:03:50,099 and plays JV field hockey. 108 00:03:50,926 --> 00:03:52,841 I guess the rest of it must not have printed out. 109 00:03:52,884 --> 00:03:57,019 But, um, I know some other stuff about Orly. 110 00:03:57,062 --> 00:04:00,240 She has two horses. 111 00:04:00,283 --> 00:04:01,980 And she's the mayor's daughter. 112 00:04:02,024 --> 00:04:04,505 [foreboding music] 113 00:04:06,071 --> 00:04:07,508 - I don't belong here. 114 00:04:07,551 --> 00:04:09,292 These other kids have done so much more than me. 115 00:04:09,336 --> 00:04:10,902 - No. 116 00:04:10,946 --> 00:04:13,557 - Just admit you got me into the Youth Leadership Program. 117 00:04:13,601 --> 00:04:17,648 - Someone in Community Outreach saw your application, 118 00:04:17,692 --> 00:04:19,346 asked me what to do about it. 119 00:04:19,389 --> 00:04:21,913 I didn't say, "Don't let my daughter in." 120 00:04:21,957 --> 00:04:23,088 - I'm a fraud! 121 00:04:23,132 --> 00:04:24,568 - That's not true, Orly. 122 00:04:24,612 --> 00:04:26,309 Did I get you on the Honor Roll 123 00:04:26,353 --> 00:04:29,181 at one of the most competitive schools in Los Angeles? 124 00:04:29,225 --> 00:04:31,532 - Oh, my God! School! 125 00:04:31,575 --> 00:04:33,490 What did you do to help me get into Gregory? 126 00:04:33,534 --> 00:04:35,492 - Gregory? No, no--nothing. 127 00:04:35,536 --> 00:04:36,667 - So it's just a coincidence 128 00:04:36,711 --> 00:04:38,582 that my first year they broke ground 129 00:04:38,626 --> 00:04:41,368 on the Anonymous Tall Dad Science Center? 130 00:04:41,411 --> 00:04:42,499 - [sighs] 131 00:04:42,543 --> 00:04:43,892 - Unbelievable! 132 00:04:43,935 --> 00:04:45,981 My whole life, you've been bribing people 133 00:04:46,024 --> 00:04:47,939 into letting me think I'm special, 134 00:04:47,983 --> 00:04:50,072 like you're Aaron Spelling and I'm Tori! 135 00:04:50,115 --> 00:04:51,943 - I know you're studying the Spellings 136 00:04:51,987 --> 00:04:54,032 in AP Beverly Hills History, but I'm-- 137 00:04:54,076 --> 00:04:55,338 - If mom were here, 138 00:04:55,382 --> 00:04:57,340 she never would have let you do any of this! 139 00:04:57,384 --> 00:04:59,081 She learned from failure. 140 00:04:59,124 --> 00:05:02,345 - Yes, yes. I've seen the videos your mom left for you. 141 00:05:02,389 --> 00:05:04,695 - I'm not gonna be around to watch you grow up 142 00:05:04,739 --> 00:05:08,917 into this strong, beautiful woman I know you'll be. 143 00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:10,440 Just remember, 144 00:05:10,484 --> 00:05:13,225 you learn more from failure than success, baby girl. 145 00:05:13,269 --> 00:05:16,707 I learned that auditioning for "American Pie." 146 00:05:16,751 --> 00:05:18,796 My second piece of advice: 147 00:05:18,840 --> 00:05:21,973 if you're on your period during a lingerie shoot-- 148 00:05:22,017 --> 00:05:23,714 - Mom wouldn't have helped me cheat my way 149 00:05:23,758 --> 00:05:25,412 into the Youth Leadership Program. 150 00:05:25,455 --> 00:05:28,066 - Orly, if you don't think that you got this job on your own, 151 00:05:28,110 --> 00:05:29,503 you're free to quit. 152 00:05:29,546 --> 00:05:32,027 - No, quitting is what a privileged brat would do. 153 00:05:32,070 --> 00:05:34,029 Those other kids, they worked real hard to be here, 154 00:05:34,072 --> 00:05:35,378 and now it's my turn. 155 00:05:35,422 --> 00:05:37,119 - You don't want to start by maybe 156 00:05:37,162 --> 00:05:39,034 unloading the dishwasher at home? 157 00:05:39,077 --> 00:05:40,644 - And deprive Cecilia 158 00:05:40,688 --> 00:05:43,995 the dignity of a hard day's work? 159 00:05:46,998 --> 00:05:47,172 . 160 00:05:47,216 --> 00:05:50,175 - Tommy, I need you to supervise Orly. 161 00:05:50,219 --> 00:05:51,960 - Yes! You lose, Jayden. 162 00:05:52,003 --> 00:05:55,311 - Oh, okay, well, can we play again later? 163 00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:58,096 - My daughter has decided that she has been coddled, 164 00:05:58,140 --> 00:05:59,750 and now she wants to do real work. 165 00:05:59,794 --> 00:06:02,623 Just give her some basic office stuff to do, please. 166 00:06:02,666 --> 00:06:03,798 - Does she know Excel? 167 00:06:03,841 --> 00:06:04,973 Because I have some polling data-- 168 00:06:05,016 --> 00:06:06,670 - No. Nothing complicated. 169 00:06:06,714 --> 00:06:09,456 Just point her toward a task any idiot could do 170 00:06:09,499 --> 00:06:11,414 and then say "Good job." 171 00:06:11,458 --> 00:06:12,807 - Got it. I'll put on my kid gloves, 172 00:06:12,850 --> 00:06:15,462 and handle your daughter-- wow, hearing it, sir. 173 00:06:15,505 --> 00:06:17,420 - You know, I'm not the one who said that 174 00:06:17,464 --> 00:06:19,466 she should never have a minimum wage job. 175 00:06:19,509 --> 00:06:21,990 I'm, I'm not the one who insisted 176 00:06:22,033 --> 00:06:24,035 that she go to private school. 177 00:06:24,079 --> 00:06:25,341 It was Natalie. 178 00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:28,257 Before she died, she laid it all out. 179 00:06:28,300 --> 00:06:30,912 - [sighs] Dead wives. 180 00:06:30,955 --> 00:06:33,784 Can't live with them. Obviously. 181 00:06:33,828 --> 00:06:35,395 - Then, when Orly gets mad at me, 182 00:06:35,438 --> 00:06:37,484 I can't exactly go blame her dead mother. 183 00:06:37,527 --> 00:06:40,312 At this point, her only memories of Natalie 184 00:06:40,356 --> 00:06:42,663 are from-- [sighs] 185 00:06:42,706 --> 00:06:44,229 From those videos she made. 186 00:06:44,969 --> 00:06:45,883 - Wait, you let her watch those? 187 00:06:45,927 --> 00:06:47,189 - Excuse me? 188 00:06:47,232 --> 00:06:48,756 - I pretty much wore out my VHS copy 189 00:06:48,799 --> 00:06:49,887 of "Venus on the Moon" 190 00:06:49,931 --> 00:06:51,715 with her and Nicole Eggert. [laughs] 191 00:06:51,759 --> 00:06:53,935 - I finally understand what you earthlings mean 192 00:06:53,978 --> 00:06:57,025 by super horny. 193 00:06:57,068 --> 00:06:58,200 - I wrote a letter to the studio 194 00:06:58,243 --> 00:06:59,767 asking them to release it on DVD, 195 00:06:59,810 --> 00:07:02,117 but evidently, that company just sells dog toys now. 196 00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:03,510 - Thank you, Jayden. 197 00:07:03,553 --> 00:07:06,600 Yes, I'm aware of my wife's late-'90s acting career. 198 00:07:06,643 --> 00:07:10,473 I meant the videos she made for Orly before she died. 199 00:07:10,517 --> 00:07:13,998 - I love you baby girl, and I will always be watching you. 200 00:07:14,042 --> 00:07:16,566 Just remember, 201 00:07:16,610 --> 00:07:20,614 real modeling agencies don't make you pay for headshots. 202 00:07:20,657 --> 00:07:22,267 - I loved that woman. 203 00:07:22,311 --> 00:07:26,533 But now, she's forever perfect, and I'm forever the bad guy. 204 00:07:26,576 --> 00:07:29,579 - Come on, sir. Bad guys are cooler, right? 205 00:07:29,623 --> 00:07:31,320 Look at Gru. 206 00:07:31,363 --> 00:07:32,930 - Hmm. 207 00:07:35,977 --> 00:07:37,108 - Councilman Higbee! 208 00:07:38,153 --> 00:07:39,154 Is now a good time? 209 00:07:39,197 --> 00:07:41,112 - To talk, or in my life? 210 00:07:41,156 --> 00:07:42,723 'Cause I started betting on sports, 211 00:07:42,766 --> 00:07:44,333 and I'm pretty addicted-- 212 00:07:44,376 --> 00:07:47,075 - I wanna revisit ordinance 462. 213 00:07:47,118 --> 00:07:48,555 - No. Everyone in this city 214 00:07:48,598 --> 00:07:50,774 is not owed free broadband internet. 215 00:07:50,818 --> 00:07:52,341 - It's crucial to the economy. 216 00:07:52,384 --> 00:07:54,778 People working remotely, people searching for jobs. 217 00:07:54,822 --> 00:07:57,825 Did you know 25 percent of L.A. public schoolkids 218 00:07:57,868 --> 00:07:59,087 don't have internet at home? 219 00:07:59,130 --> 00:08:00,567 - So, what? 220 00:08:00,610 --> 00:08:03,265 Kids today spend too much time on the internet already. 221 00:08:03,308 --> 00:08:06,573 Why burn more money on "education?" 222 00:08:06,616 --> 00:08:09,793 They're all gonna be gig workers and cam girls anyway. 223 00:08:09,837 --> 00:08:11,273 - Hang on a second. Guys! 224 00:08:11,316 --> 00:08:13,667 I know I told you to wait outside, but come here. 225 00:08:14,929 --> 00:08:16,365 - [nervous chuckle] 226 00:08:16,408 --> 00:08:18,062 - Councilman Higbee was just talking about the youth 227 00:08:18,106 --> 00:08:20,761 of this great city. [laughs] 228 00:08:20,804 --> 00:08:22,589 Frank, please, go on. 229 00:08:22,632 --> 00:08:24,678 - I was just telling the deputy mayor, 230 00:08:24,721 --> 00:08:27,202 it won't be long until you kids are running the show. 231 00:08:27,245 --> 00:08:28,812 And I can't wait. 232 00:08:28,856 --> 00:08:30,814 - So we can count on your support 233 00:08:30,858 --> 00:08:35,340 to bring ordinance 462 to a vote for L.A.'s future. 234 00:08:36,428 --> 00:08:38,909 - Count me in. - Kids, let's be sure 235 00:08:38,953 --> 00:08:41,346 we record this historic moment. 236 00:08:41,390 --> 00:08:43,174 - Already livestreaming it. 237 00:08:45,350 --> 00:08:46,308 - Feel that, Frank? 238 00:08:46,351 --> 00:08:48,005 That's all 92 pounds of me 239 00:08:48,049 --> 00:08:49,354 stepping right on your huevos. 240 00:08:52,270 --> 00:08:56,623 - Okay, proposal for library book amnesty, done. 241 00:08:56,666 --> 00:08:59,321 Seating chart for the LACMA banquet, done. 242 00:08:59,364 --> 00:09:00,627 If you believe it, you can achieve it. 243 00:09:00,670 --> 00:09:02,629 And I believe I'm getting drunk tonight. 244 00:09:02,672 --> 00:09:05,762 - Hey, so you know how the mayor was supposed to apologize 245 00:09:05,806 --> 00:09:07,634 to the Boyle Heights food vendors today? 246 00:09:07,677 --> 00:09:10,027 - Uh... - Well, our Spanish interpreter 247 00:09:10,071 --> 00:09:12,377 was out sick, so I took a crack at it. 248 00:09:12,421 --> 00:09:14,728 - Oh, God. What did you make him say? 249 00:09:14,771 --> 00:09:17,644 Mayor Bremer is not hiding a secret love child. 250 00:09:17,687 --> 00:09:20,603 He was told that "embarazada" means "embarrassed," 251 00:09:20,647 --> 00:09:22,605 when, of course, it means pregnant. 252 00:09:22,649 --> 00:09:25,086 Absolutely, the mayor is very excited 253 00:09:25,129 --> 00:09:27,175 for next week's interfaith council event. 254 00:09:27,218 --> 00:09:29,003 Thank you so much, Archbishop Luna-- 255 00:09:29,046 --> 00:09:30,308 [toilet flushes] ahem, 256 00:09:30,352 --> 00:09:31,745 peace be with you! 257 00:09:31,788 --> 00:09:34,356 Well, the mayor will be backing the teachers' union 258 00:09:34,399 --> 00:09:35,618 in their quest to adopt 259 00:09:35,662 --> 00:09:37,620 the European model of one wine at lunch. 260 00:09:37,664 --> 00:09:39,100 No, Stacey. 261 00:09:39,143 --> 00:09:40,580 When he tweeted that L.A. needs more "Law & Order," 262 00:09:40,623 --> 00:09:42,756 he was referring to the show, and you know it. 263 00:09:42,799 --> 00:09:44,366 Hi, can I cancel my dental appointment today? 264 00:09:44,409 --> 00:09:45,846 Yeah, you know what? 265 00:09:45,889 --> 00:09:47,761 I think you're right, Neetza. Let's go with the B cup. 266 00:09:49,893 --> 00:09:53,114 - Well, that was fun. Over there is a supply closet. 267 00:09:53,157 --> 00:09:55,029 Why don't you kids rearrange everything 268 00:09:55,072 --> 00:09:56,334 by color or something? 269 00:09:56,378 --> 00:09:57,640 I'll let you know when it's time to leave. 270 00:09:57,684 --> 00:09:58,598 - Wait, Ms. Meskimen-- 271 00:09:58,641 --> 00:09:59,947 - We know you used us in there. 272 00:09:59,990 --> 00:10:01,383 I'm a child of divorce. 273 00:10:01,426 --> 00:10:03,298 I know when I'm a pawn in a grown-up meeting. 274 00:10:03,341 --> 00:10:05,430 - Like you kids say, "Sorry, not sorry." 275 00:10:05,474 --> 00:10:08,564 Congratulations, you are surprisingly useful. 276 00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:10,610 - Well, then, isn't there more that we can do? 277 00:10:14,091 --> 00:10:15,266 - Oh my gosh, Orly, 278 00:10:15,310 --> 00:10:16,877 I am so lucky to have you here today. 279 00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:18,966 Yass, queen! Are people still saying that? 280 00:10:19,009 --> 00:10:20,054 - They're definitely not. - I know. 281 00:10:20,097 --> 00:10:21,316 I hate when they're still saying it. 282 00:10:21,359 --> 00:10:22,839 Anyway, people tend to get a little sleepy 283 00:10:22,883 --> 00:10:24,972 in the afternoon, so why don't we get some coffee going? 284 00:10:25,015 --> 00:10:26,495 Yass queen. Ironic. 285 00:10:26,538 --> 00:10:28,497 - Great, do I take my dad's SUV or is it better 286 00:10:28,540 --> 00:10:30,717 to have everyone type their orders into my Postmates? 287 00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:32,414 - You can just make it. 288 00:10:32,457 --> 00:10:35,069 With the coffee maker. 289 00:10:35,112 --> 00:10:36,810 - Hmm. [giggles] 290 00:10:36,853 --> 00:10:39,377 You know, I did a paper about how coffee trade 291 00:10:39,421 --> 00:10:42,119 helped Brazil transition from an extraction economy 292 00:10:42,163 --> 00:10:43,164 to an industrial one. 293 00:10:43,207 --> 00:10:44,687 - Great. 294 00:10:44,731 --> 00:10:47,734 Oh. [grunts] 295 00:10:47,777 --> 00:10:48,778 Oh. 296 00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:55,089 Good job. 297 00:10:55,132 --> 00:10:56,351 [phone rings] 298 00:10:56,394 --> 00:10:59,833 - Hello? Hello? 299 00:10:59,876 --> 00:11:01,269 City Hall? 300 00:11:01,312 --> 00:11:03,401 Hello? There's no one there. 301 00:11:03,445 --> 00:11:06,143 - We get a lot of prank calls. You're doing a good job. 302 00:11:08,798 --> 00:11:09,799 - Got it open for you. 303 00:11:09,843 --> 00:11:11,061 - Amazeballs... 304 00:11:11,105 --> 00:11:12,802 is another thing people no longer say. 305 00:11:18,112 --> 00:11:20,157 - They told her drinks on a Wednesday was impossible, 306 00:11:20,201 --> 00:11:22,159 but nevertheless, she persisted. 307 00:11:22,203 --> 00:11:23,813 I am, in fact, poised to get turnt up. 308 00:11:23,857 --> 00:11:25,336 - Really? 309 00:11:25,380 --> 00:11:26,903 'Cause you look like you got burnt up in a house fire. 310 00:11:26,947 --> 00:11:29,340 - And you look like Cookie Monster used to use a toilet. 311 00:11:29,384 --> 00:11:31,342 I win. I'm hitting the "clerb." 312 00:11:31,386 --> 00:11:35,738 [lively music] 313 00:11:35,782 --> 00:11:37,653 [yawns] 314 00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:42,832 Okay, from professional powerhouse... 315 00:11:49,447 --> 00:11:49,796 . 316 00:11:49,839 --> 00:11:52,102 - When Maya's school went virtual during the pandemic, 317 00:11:52,146 --> 00:11:53,756 her nearest Wi-Fi was in an alley, 318 00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:55,802 outside a strip club. 319 00:11:55,845 --> 00:11:57,978 - To this day, I can't do calculus 320 00:11:58,021 --> 00:12:00,241 unless I'm listening to "Pony" by Ginuwine. 321 00:12:00,284 --> 00:12:02,417 - Oh, that's terrible. 322 00:12:02,460 --> 00:12:04,941 As you know, my mother was a dancer at Deja Boob. 323 00:12:04,985 --> 00:12:06,595 - Hmm, I'd forgotten that, Herb. 324 00:12:06,638 --> 00:12:08,858 - A gentleman's club is not a good place to learn, 325 00:12:08,902 --> 00:12:11,034 especially when your English teacher shows up 326 00:12:11,078 --> 00:12:13,297 and throws dollars at your mom. 327 00:12:13,341 --> 00:12:16,126 - So you're gonna help us move ordinance 462 forward? 328 00:12:16,170 --> 00:12:18,520 - Well, I promised no new spending this fiscal year. 329 00:12:19,477 --> 00:12:22,959 But for once, let's throw some wadded-up cash at a good cause. 330 00:12:24,265 --> 00:12:28,095 - [speaking Spanish] 331 00:12:34,362 --> 00:12:38,061 - [speaking Spanish] 332 00:12:39,976 --> 00:12:42,283 - [speaking Spanish] 333 00:12:42,326 --> 00:12:44,676 [triumphant music] 334 00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:47,027 - Ben's father worked nights, 335 00:12:47,070 --> 00:12:50,334 so he could take his son to the library every day 336 00:12:50,378 --> 00:12:52,206 to research his science project. 337 00:12:52,249 --> 00:12:54,948 - When I got the blue ribbon, I gave it to him 338 00:12:54,991 --> 00:12:56,601 because I didn't win it. 339 00:12:56,645 --> 00:12:58,386 We did. 340 00:12:58,429 --> 00:13:00,649 - Things that fathers do for their children. 341 00:13:00,692 --> 00:13:03,783 Not all children appreciate it. 342 00:13:03,826 --> 00:13:05,349 They should. 343 00:13:05,393 --> 00:13:11,051 So, uh, you get the votes, and I will sign that ordinance. 344 00:13:11,094 --> 00:13:13,357 Do you girls also have stories 345 00:13:13,401 --> 00:13:15,795 about appreciating your fathers? 346 00:13:17,405 --> 00:13:19,407 - [gasps] - Same clothes as yesterday. 347 00:13:19,450 --> 00:13:20,800 Someone had a crazy night. 348 00:13:20,843 --> 00:13:23,150 - Um, NBD, I went to a guy's place last night. 349 00:13:23,193 --> 00:13:24,629 He had a bed frame and everything. 350 00:13:24,673 --> 00:13:26,283 So hot. 351 00:13:26,327 --> 00:13:28,546 - Yeah, it's funny you say that because I did some sleuthing, 352 00:13:28,590 --> 00:13:30,722 and your friends didn't tag you in any of their photos. 353 00:13:30,766 --> 00:13:33,160 - 'Cause I left so quick with that hottie. 354 00:13:33,203 --> 00:13:36,946 - Right, but then at 3 A.M., they posted this little nugget. 355 00:13:36,990 --> 00:13:38,295 - Fine! I never went inside. 356 00:13:38,339 --> 00:13:40,689 I fell asleep because I have zero life. 357 00:13:40,732 --> 00:13:41,995 All I do is work. 358 00:13:42,038 --> 00:13:43,170 I mean, the other night, 359 00:13:43,213 --> 00:13:44,649 I dozed off in a virtual town hall, 360 00:13:44,693 --> 00:13:46,782 and when I woke up, the only people still logged in 361 00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:48,479 were me and a guy named LickyMick, 362 00:13:48,523 --> 00:13:50,873 who I'm pretty sure had been watching me for a while, 363 00:13:50,917 --> 00:13:53,658 and-- [gags] 364 00:13:53,702 --> 00:13:55,312 [gasps] - Oh! 365 00:13:55,356 --> 00:13:56,400 - Oh. 366 00:13:56,444 --> 00:13:58,533 - Is that your tooth? - My tooth! 367 00:13:58,576 --> 00:14:00,404 [gasps] 368 00:14:03,146 --> 00:14:04,931 - What in the living hell is this? 369 00:14:04,974 --> 00:14:06,454 - It's your lunch. 370 00:14:06,497 --> 00:14:08,891 - I ordered chicken nuggets, fries, and ranch dressing! 371 00:14:08,935 --> 00:14:12,416 This, this hot vegetable mess? I don't even know what this is. 372 00:14:12,460 --> 00:14:13,765 - Well, it's ratatouille, I thought that-- 373 00:14:13,809 --> 00:14:15,158 - It is? 374 00:14:15,202 --> 00:14:17,857 Oh, so you ruined my lunch and my favorite movie? 375 00:14:17,900 --> 00:14:19,206 You are a witch! 376 00:14:19,249 --> 00:14:20,685 - Okay, wait, please don't be mad at me. 377 00:14:20,729 --> 00:14:22,383 I--I can make you a coffee-- 378 00:14:22,426 --> 00:14:25,821 - You made that horrible coffee on purpose, you banshee? 379 00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:27,388 - Wait, did I do it wrong? - No! 380 00:14:27,431 --> 00:14:30,782 Your coffee is great. It's a drink and a meal. 381 00:14:30,826 --> 00:14:34,830 Mmm. - Of course I did it wrong. 382 00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:36,919 Because I don't know how to do anything. 383 00:14:36,963 --> 00:14:40,618 But you kept telling me "good job." 384 00:14:40,662 --> 00:14:44,622 Because my father told you to! 385 00:14:44,666 --> 00:14:45,797 - [sighs] 386 00:14:45,841 --> 00:14:47,495 - I'm sorry that I lost my temper. 387 00:14:47,538 --> 00:14:51,455 It's just that I haven't eaten in like, one hours. 388 00:14:52,239 --> 00:14:55,198 - Thanks to you, I never learned how to do anything! 389 00:14:55,242 --> 00:14:58,071 You know, when mom was my age, she was modeling in Tokyo, 390 00:14:58,114 --> 00:15:00,638 and doing bottle service at a yakuza-owned night club. 391 00:15:00,682 --> 00:15:03,032 So I think she would've let me go get a job 392 00:15:03,076 --> 00:15:04,816 at a crappy restaurant or something, 393 00:15:04,860 --> 00:15:07,689 so I would know how to make a stupid pot of coffee! 394 00:15:07,732 --> 00:15:09,125 - Actually, young lady, 395 00:15:09,169 --> 00:15:11,388 she's the reason you're completely helpless. 396 00:15:11,432 --> 00:15:14,174 - Wow, blaming mom! That is pathetic! 397 00:15:16,306 --> 00:15:20,615 Look, mom didn't want you to have to go through 398 00:15:20,658 --> 00:15:22,312 all the crap that she did. 399 00:15:22,356 --> 00:15:24,532 You know where she learned how to make coffee? 400 00:15:24,575 --> 00:15:29,145 Working at an off-brand Hooters called PJ Bazoingies! 401 00:15:29,189 --> 00:15:31,321 I wanted you to go to public school 402 00:15:31,365 --> 00:15:33,758 and see what the real world was like. 403 00:15:33,802 --> 00:15:37,110 But your mother said, "It's different for girls." 404 00:15:38,763 --> 00:15:40,591 And then she died. 405 00:15:40,635 --> 00:15:43,333 And what am I supposed to do with that? 406 00:15:43,377 --> 00:15:48,121 I've just tried my best to make decisions she'd be happy with. 407 00:15:48,164 --> 00:15:51,515 I mean, you're not the only one she left videos for. 408 00:15:51,559 --> 00:15:53,300 - Do not let our daughter have a job 409 00:15:53,343 --> 00:15:55,171 that requires a name tag, 410 00:15:55,215 --> 00:15:57,739 or go to college in Florida. 411 00:15:57,782 --> 00:16:00,655 Now, to make sure you keep watching this, 412 00:16:00,698 --> 00:16:03,092 I will do a little dance, 413 00:16:03,136 --> 00:16:07,009 in my old PJ Bazoingies uniform! 414 00:16:07,053 --> 00:16:11,187 No tattoos, no non-ear piercings, 415 00:16:11,231 --> 00:16:13,102 Don't let her take French. 416 00:16:13,146 --> 00:16:15,365 Spanish is much more practical. 417 00:16:15,409 --> 00:16:17,498 - How could I deny her wishes? 418 00:16:17,541 --> 00:16:19,848 - You know, having a perfect dead mom 419 00:16:19,891 --> 00:16:21,502 isn't easy for me either. 420 00:16:21,545 --> 00:16:25,419 She was so beautiful and smart. Ugh, and her airport style. 421 00:16:25,462 --> 00:16:29,336 - Effortless, straight from the plane to dinner. 422 00:16:29,379 --> 00:16:34,645 The key is a bold lip before landing. 423 00:16:34,689 --> 00:16:37,518 Your mom was beautiful, and she was kind. 424 00:16:37,561 --> 00:16:41,957 But those videos are not the whole picture. 425 00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:44,568 She was a human being, and believe me, 426 00:16:44,612 --> 00:16:46,440 if she were alive, 427 00:16:46,483 --> 00:16:49,878 you would yell at her just as much as you yell at me. 428 00:16:49,921 --> 00:16:51,140 - I wish I could. 429 00:16:51,184 --> 00:16:52,707 I'm pretty sure yelling at your mom 430 00:16:52,750 --> 00:16:53,969 is a part of growing up. 431 00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:56,015 If she were here now, I'd be like, 432 00:16:56,058 --> 00:16:57,364 "You never even finished high school!" 433 00:16:57,407 --> 00:16:58,887 and then call her a bitch, 434 00:16:58,930 --> 00:17:00,845 and slam my door, and then feel bad about it all night. 435 00:17:00,889 --> 00:17:05,067 - And I would tell Natalie, "I'll talk to her." 436 00:17:05,111 --> 00:17:06,460 We'd go out for ice cream, 437 00:17:06,503 --> 00:17:09,593 and bond over how unreasonable your mom was being. 438 00:17:15,947 --> 00:17:20,300 Not fair. These are peak daddy years. 439 00:17:22,954 --> 00:17:24,826 Oh, wait a minute. [chuckles] 440 00:17:24,869 --> 00:17:26,610 I'll be right back. 441 00:17:26,654 --> 00:17:30,310 [door opens] 442 00:17:30,353 --> 00:17:34,488 - Hey, I'm sorry your dad made me lie to you. 443 00:17:34,531 --> 00:17:38,100 If it were up to me, I'd always tell you how terrible you are. 444 00:17:38,144 --> 00:17:40,537 - Thanks, Tommy. That means a lot. 445 00:17:44,802 --> 00:17:44,976 . 446 00:17:45,020 --> 00:17:46,761 - To government! - Woo! 447 00:17:46,804 --> 00:17:48,154 - Today, we took our system one step closer 448 00:17:48,197 --> 00:17:50,678 to its perfect form: an agricultural matriarchy! 449 00:17:50,721 --> 00:17:51,940 - High-speed internet. 450 00:17:51,983 --> 00:17:54,073 I'll be able to do my homework at home! 451 00:17:54,116 --> 00:17:56,379 - And people will stop watching porn at McDonald's! 452 00:17:56,423 --> 00:17:59,208 - This ordinance 462 is huge, kids. 453 00:17:59,252 --> 00:18:02,255 As soon as we can get it voted on, the mayor will sign it, 454 00:18:02,298 --> 00:18:05,127 and we will have successfully earmarked monies 455 00:18:05,171 --> 00:18:07,173 for the next fiscal year! 456 00:18:07,216 --> 00:18:09,697 That earmark will allow us to form a committee 457 00:18:09,740 --> 00:18:11,046 to assess viability, 458 00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:13,614 while internet service providers prepare bids 459 00:18:13,657 --> 00:18:16,530 for no later than calendar year 2025! 460 00:18:16,573 --> 00:18:18,401 Hot dog! 461 00:18:18,445 --> 00:18:21,926 - Wait, so we're not getting internet, like, tomorrow? 462 00:18:22,927 --> 00:18:24,277 - No. 463 00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:25,626 But monies will be earmarked. 464 00:18:25,669 --> 00:18:26,931 - Well, this sucks. 465 00:18:26,975 --> 00:18:28,063 - It would've been faster to convince 466 00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:29,760 a billionaire to pay for it. - Whoa. 467 00:18:29,804 --> 00:18:32,328 Privatization of social services-- 468 00:18:32,372 --> 00:18:34,069 capitalist nightmare! 469 00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:35,766 You want an ambulance that only picks you up 470 00:18:35,810 --> 00:18:36,811 if you drink Pepsi? 471 00:18:36,854 --> 00:18:38,117 The battle is hard, 472 00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:40,597 but at least I'm fighting the establishment. 473 00:18:40,641 --> 00:18:42,512 - Arpi, you are the establishment. 474 00:18:48,910 --> 00:18:52,000 - [muffled] Oh, sir, can I talk to you for a second? 475 00:18:52,043 --> 00:18:53,219 - You okay? 476 00:18:53,262 --> 00:18:55,830 - Yeah, sir, I make a lot of sacrifices 477 00:18:55,873 --> 00:18:57,788 to be good at my job, and I promise you 478 00:18:57,832 --> 00:18:59,573 I am trying as hard as I can. 479 00:18:59,616 --> 00:19:01,183 - Me too. 480 00:19:01,227 --> 00:19:03,185 - And you can't worry if people judge your decisions, 481 00:19:03,229 --> 00:19:04,534 because they're not in your shoes. 482 00:19:04,578 --> 00:19:06,014 - Preaching to the choir. 483 00:19:06,057 --> 00:19:09,757 - So I need to carve out a little time for self-care. 484 00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:11,759 - Of course, whatever you need. 485 00:19:11,802 --> 00:19:13,369 - Three hours every Sunday morning. 486 00:19:13,413 --> 00:19:15,328 - You can have 30 minutes. 487 00:19:15,371 --> 00:19:16,894 - Deal! 488 00:19:18,722 --> 00:19:20,333 - Vote Meskimen in '86, 489 00:19:20,376 --> 00:19:23,162 and I promise a free payphone on every street corner, 490 00:19:23,205 --> 00:19:26,687 and zero NFL teams in this great city! 491 00:19:26,730 --> 00:19:29,864 - My God. Those kids were right. 492 00:19:29,907 --> 00:19:31,648 I have lost the fire. 493 00:19:31,692 --> 00:19:33,520 - Hey, I heard about ordinance 462. 494 00:19:33,563 --> 00:19:36,087 Nice earmark. - It's a joke. 495 00:19:36,131 --> 00:19:38,002 I gotta get my mojo back, Tommy. 496 00:19:38,046 --> 00:19:41,528 30 years of compromising bureaucracy. 497 00:19:41,571 --> 00:19:43,965 I don't even recognize myself anymore. 498 00:19:44,008 --> 00:19:45,923 - Free Nelson Mandela! 499 00:19:45,967 --> 00:19:48,056 Is something I promise to do personally! 500 00:19:48,099 --> 00:19:50,363 - I gotta get back to being that lady. 501 00:19:50,406 --> 00:19:51,929 She had a perm in her hair, 502 00:19:51,973 --> 00:19:53,279 a pad on her shoulder, 503 00:19:53,322 --> 00:19:55,237 and a fire in her belly. 504 00:19:56,369 --> 00:19:57,848 - Okay, are you asking me to Queer Eye you? 505 00:19:57,892 --> 00:19:59,720 Because I don't do that. 506 00:20:01,374 --> 00:20:03,680 - Okay, I know all the time codes by heart, 507 00:20:03,724 --> 00:20:06,117 so just do your thing. 508 00:20:06,161 --> 00:20:09,251 - Orly, do you have something you want to say to your mother? 509 00:20:11,775 --> 00:20:13,168 - You are such a hypocrite! 510 00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:15,562 How could you tell dad I can't have a tattoo 511 00:20:15,605 --> 00:20:17,041 when I know you have one? 512 00:20:17,085 --> 00:20:19,609 I saw your spread in "FHM." 513 00:20:19,653 --> 00:20:21,742 [VCR whirs] 514 00:20:21,785 --> 00:20:23,744 - How dare you speak to me that way? 515 00:20:23,787 --> 00:20:26,137 I make the rules around here. 516 00:20:26,181 --> 00:20:28,575 - Well it's easy to make the rules, 517 00:20:28,618 --> 00:20:29,576 if you don't have to enforce them. 518 00:20:29,619 --> 00:20:30,664 [VCR whirs] 519 00:20:30,707 --> 00:20:31,926 - Should've thought of that 520 00:20:31,969 --> 00:20:34,276 before you came to the moon, astronaut. 521 00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:38,106 Now teach me what you humans call "making love." 522 00:20:38,149 --> 00:20:41,022 - You probably wouldn't even let me dye my hair, 523 00:20:41,065 --> 00:20:43,459 even though, like, everyone else at school is doing it. 524 00:20:43,503 --> 00:20:44,765 You are such a bitch! 525 00:20:44,808 --> 00:20:45,983 [VCR whirs] 526 00:20:46,027 --> 00:20:47,376 - I know you think I'm a bitch, 527 00:20:47,420 --> 00:20:50,292 but you're not getting rid of me that easily. 528 00:20:50,336 --> 00:20:51,902 - Okay, okay. 529 00:20:51,946 --> 00:20:54,601 Look, maybe I should take Orly out for some ice cream. 530 00:20:54,644 --> 00:20:56,733 Just give you time to cool down. 531 00:20:56,777 --> 00:20:58,300 [VCR whirs] - Fine. 532 00:20:58,344 --> 00:21:01,303 Go with Zorblap. I don't care. 533 00:21:01,347 --> 00:21:03,131 Fire up the ecstasy ray, 534 00:21:03,174 --> 00:21:05,699 and set a course for Planet Orgasmo-- 535 00:21:05,742 --> 00:21:07,048 - Ooh, whoops! 536 00:21:07,091 --> 00:21:08,832 [chuckles] My bad. 537 00:21:08,876 --> 00:21:10,573 - Sorry, sir. 538 00:21:10,617 --> 00:21:11,748 It's okay. 539 00:21:15,665 --> 00:21:18,059 - It's so sweaty in this uniform. 540 00:21:18,102 --> 00:21:20,627 I need a space shower. 541 00:21:20,670 --> 00:21:21,758 - Turn it off, Jayden! 542 00:21:21,802 --> 00:21:23,238 - What? Turn what off? 543 00:21:23,282 --> 00:21:25,284 - Good night, everybody! - Good night!