1 00:00:00,734 --> 00:00:01,834 - Welcome to "mayor chat." 2 00:00:02,603 --> 00:00:03,135 I'm chet danville outside the home 3 00:00:03,871 --> 00:00:04,970 of mayor-for-now, neil bremer, 4 00:00:05,072 --> 00:00:08,007 for some good, old-fashioned field reporting. 5 00:00:08,109 --> 00:00:09,375 Journalism! - Oh, jeez! 6 00:00:09,477 --> 00:00:10,876 Dan, it's okay. He's harmless. 7 00:00:10,978 --> 00:00:12,678 - Tell that to the mice in my lemon tree. 8 00:00:12,780 --> 00:00:15,114 Mayor bremer, on the brink of an historic recall, 9 00:00:15,216 --> 00:00:18,884 do you care to comment on daughtergate? 10 00:00:18,986 --> 00:00:22,021 Your own daughter is supporting titi b. 11 00:00:22,123 --> 00:00:23,889 Whip pan! 12 00:00:24,925 --> 00:00:25,691 Oh, this is great. 13 00:00:25,793 --> 00:00:28,260 This is great tv. Look at his face. 14 00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:30,095 - Orly, you're team titi, 15 00:00:30,197 --> 00:00:32,731 and you put a bumper sticker on a lease? 16 00:00:32,833 --> 00:00:33,799 - I'm sorry, dad. 17 00:00:34,869 --> 00:00:35,534 But supporting her is the only way to get access 18 00:00:35,636 --> 00:00:37,269 to her exclusive emoji pack. 19 00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:39,304 - Okay, I guarantee you 20 00:00:39,407 --> 00:00:41,473 titi b. Does not want my job. 21 00:00:41,575 --> 00:00:44,910 The office wi-fi never has more than two bars. 22 00:00:45,046 --> 00:00:47,079 If titi b. Is still in this race tomorrow, 23 00:00:47,181 --> 00:00:48,580 I'll buy you a car. 24 00:00:48,682 --> 00:00:51,016 Oh, wait. I already did. 25 00:00:51,118 --> 00:00:53,752 - You said it was a lease. Were you lying, mr. Mayor? 26 00:00:53,854 --> 00:00:55,721 - Come on, chet, no, get that-- oh, stop. 27 00:00:55,823 --> 00:00:58,724 [bright music] 28 00:00:58,826 --> 00:01:04,730 ♪ 29 00:01:04,832 --> 00:01:06,265 - hey, cubs. 30 00:01:06,367 --> 00:01:08,567 I'm coming to you from my cryopartment, 31 00:01:08,669 --> 00:01:12,204 the only cryo chamber designed for teens by teens. 32 00:01:12,306 --> 00:01:14,239 Now I know I promised a big announcement 33 00:01:14,341 --> 00:01:15,340 in today's livestream, 34 00:01:15,443 --> 00:01:17,409 and you guys... 35 00:01:17,511 --> 00:01:20,913 I've signed a deal with netflix! 36 00:01:21,015 --> 00:01:22,848 Obvs this means I won't be able to do mayor, 37 00:01:22,950 --> 00:01:24,950 but like, shouldn't I play eleanor reagan 38 00:01:25,052 --> 00:01:26,251 in a movie or something? 39 00:01:26,353 --> 00:01:27,920 Also, I think this cryopartment 40 00:01:28,022 --> 00:01:29,822 just cured my adhd. 41 00:01:29,924 --> 00:01:31,457 - [laughs] I knew it. 42 00:01:31,559 --> 00:01:33,826 I knew she'd get distracted by something shiny. 43 00:01:33,928 --> 00:01:35,994 - Way to shame her for her adhd, dad. 44 00:01:36,097 --> 00:01:37,362 - I gotta get tommy over here. 45 00:01:37,465 --> 00:01:40,532 Our whole debate strategy just changed. 46 00:01:40,634 --> 00:01:43,202 - Consult a physician if your blood completely freezes. 47 00:01:43,287 --> 00:01:45,204 - Alexa, call jaden. 48 00:01:45,289 --> 00:01:46,989 We got a real debate on our hands! 49 00:01:47,108 --> 00:01:48,157 - [in robotic voice] calling jaden, 50 00:01:48,275 --> 00:01:51,310 because people walk all over me. 51 00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:53,145 - Good morning, fellow colleagues. 52 00:01:53,230 --> 00:01:54,680 - Likewise, colleague. 53 00:01:54,782 --> 00:01:56,915 - Oh, my god, this might be worse than the flirting. 54 00:01:57,017 --> 00:01:58,383 No, wait. Nothing's worse than that. 55 00:01:58,469 --> 00:02:00,219 - I bet you can't pick me up. 56 00:02:00,304 --> 00:02:02,287 - I bet I can. - No, I bet you--oh, my god! 57 00:02:02,389 --> 00:02:05,541 James, you're so strong! [squeals] 58 00:02:05,659 --> 00:02:07,292 now that we're actually dating, 59 00:02:07,394 --> 00:02:09,728 we're just trying to be professional, thomas. 60 00:02:09,830 --> 00:02:11,330 - Ugh. [phone vibrates] 61 00:02:11,432 --> 00:02:12,498 - good morning, sir. 62 00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:13,932 - Look, I'm gonna be out of the office 63 00:02:14,034 --> 00:02:15,200 prepping for the debate today. 64 00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:16,768 So I need you to hold down the fort. 65 00:02:16,854 --> 00:02:18,637 - On it, sir--I will hold down this fort like-- 66 00:02:18,739 --> 00:02:20,139 oh, who's that guy from history? 67 00:02:20,241 --> 00:02:21,723 He had a hat. I wanna say texas-- 68 00:02:21,842 --> 00:02:23,842 - yeah, okay. We both got busy days. 69 00:02:23,928 --> 00:02:26,812 [quirky music] 70 00:02:26,914 --> 00:02:27,846 ♪ 71 00:02:27,948 --> 00:02:29,214 - where's your fridge? 72 00:02:29,350 --> 00:02:31,617 - I don't eat anything that requires refrigeration. 73 00:02:31,719 --> 00:02:34,153 Now focus up. Without that gen z barbie 74 00:02:34,255 --> 00:02:36,705 on stage, we can actually have a substantive debate 75 00:02:36,824 --> 00:02:39,041 where I give mayor bremer a fact-based smackdown. 76 00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:41,193 - Yeah, it's just that debates aren't actually won on facts. 77 00:02:41,328 --> 00:02:42,528 It's about perception. 78 00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:44,863 Like most voters, I just scroll through my phone, 79 00:02:44,965 --> 00:02:47,149 see who's smiling, who's got a bug on their head. 80 00:02:47,268 --> 00:02:50,068 - To quote thomas jefferson-- problematic-- 81 00:02:50,171 --> 00:02:51,403 "an informed citizenry 82 00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:53,238 is at the heart of a dynamic democracy." 83 00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:55,240 - boring. Change the channel. 84 00:02:55,342 --> 00:02:56,742 - So you want me to get up there, and what, 85 00:02:56,844 --> 00:02:58,043 smile and talk about nothing? 86 00:02:58,128 --> 00:03:00,078 - You're the one who asked me to rebrand you. 87 00:03:00,181 --> 00:03:01,647 Like dunkin' or maleficent. 88 00:03:01,749 --> 00:03:04,333 If you go on tv dressed like the meanest newsie, 89 00:03:04,451 --> 00:03:06,451 and start handing out fact-based smackdowns, 90 00:03:06,554 --> 00:03:08,587 then you're just back to the old arpi who loses elections. 91 00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:10,489 - [sighs] 92 00:03:10,591 --> 00:03:13,425 I've always refused to play this game. 93 00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:16,495 But I've never been this close to glory. 94 00:03:18,566 --> 00:03:20,849 Let's do this, kwapis. 95 00:03:20,968 --> 00:03:22,467 Tart me up and dumb me down. 96 00:03:22,603 --> 00:03:23,302 - When I'm done with you, 97 00:03:24,088 --> 00:03:25,003 you're gonna stop getting your mail 98 00:03:25,089 --> 00:03:26,838 'cause your mailman won't recognize you. 99 00:03:26,941 --> 00:03:29,708 He'll think you moved. He'll have to take it back. 100 00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:31,043 - When titi b. Was running, 101 00:03:31,145 --> 00:03:32,511 no one could think about anything else. 102 00:03:32,613 --> 00:03:34,112 - Like when there's a bird in the food court. 103 00:03:34,215 --> 00:03:36,582 - Now we can focus on who is actually 104 00:03:36,667 --> 00:03:38,367 most qualified for the job. 105 00:03:38,485 --> 00:03:40,319 - Uh, we do need to be careful there. 106 00:03:40,421 --> 00:03:42,321 If we engage with arpi in actual debate, 107 00:03:42,406 --> 00:03:43,805 you're gonna look like a lightweight. 108 00:03:43,924 --> 00:03:45,324 - Hey. I know the issues. 109 00:03:45,426 --> 00:03:47,359 - Mr. Mayor, do you think everyone in l.A. 110 00:03:47,461 --> 00:03:49,595 Should be on a time-of-use variable utility rate, 111 00:03:49,697 --> 00:03:51,763 or do you stand by the current tiered system? 112 00:03:51,865 --> 00:03:53,298 - Thank you for that question. 113 00:03:53,434 --> 00:03:56,535 The tiered system-- well, I just spoke with-- 114 00:03:56,637 --> 00:03:57,769 [sighs] oh, shoot, uh... 115 00:03:57,871 --> 00:03:59,304 [shutter clicks] 116 00:03:59,406 --> 00:04:01,907 - is this the image you want to project on stage today? 117 00:04:02,042 --> 00:04:05,444 - I look like my grandfather trying to set a digital watch. 118 00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:07,980 - Right, which is why we're not going to engage on the issues. 119 00:04:08,082 --> 00:04:09,381 This is an oppo-research dossier 120 00:04:09,483 --> 00:04:11,316 that I prepared on arpi. 121 00:04:11,402 --> 00:04:13,952 - Arrests for civil disobedience, 122 00:04:14,054 --> 00:04:15,220 credit reports, 123 00:04:15,306 --> 00:04:17,522 a photo of her attacking dick cheney 124 00:04:17,625 --> 00:04:19,391 that looks like she's trying to hug him-- 125 00:04:19,476 --> 00:04:21,543 god, you know-- absolutely not. 126 00:04:21,662 --> 00:04:24,129 Say what you will about arpi meskimen-- 127 00:04:24,231 --> 00:04:25,330 - her hair is a step back for women. 128 00:04:25,466 --> 00:04:27,916 Her style inspiration is hardware-store rumpelstiltskin. 129 00:04:28,035 --> 00:04:29,251 - But she's a straight shooter. 130 00:04:29,370 --> 00:04:31,069 She's not gonna play games. 131 00:04:31,171 --> 00:04:33,372 And as long as I look like this... 132 00:04:33,457 --> 00:04:35,607 [shutter clicks] I don't have to either. 133 00:04:35,693 --> 00:04:38,110 [upbeat music] 134 00:04:38,195 --> 00:04:39,478 I don't know what I did. 135 00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:42,347 But still, good lookin' cat. 136 00:04:42,433 --> 00:04:44,716 - So what do you have to do today? 137 00:04:44,852 --> 00:04:46,435 Award key to the city 138 00:04:46,553 --> 00:04:49,254 to guy who convinced elon musk to move to texas... 139 00:04:49,390 --> 00:04:51,206 - Oh, yeah. - Hand out, uh-- 140 00:04:51,325 --> 00:04:53,041 what are centenarian certificates? 141 00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:54,926 - Oh, angelenos that turn 100 142 00:04:55,029 --> 00:04:57,329 get a certificate from the mayor... 143 00:04:57,464 --> 00:04:58,697 Who's not here today. 144 00:04:58,782 --> 00:04:59,865 Oh, that's so sad. 145 00:04:59,950 --> 00:05:01,033 Maybe we should reschedule? 146 00:05:01,135 --> 00:05:03,702 - Ah, that feels...Risky. - Yeah, better get them in. 147 00:05:03,787 --> 00:05:06,571 - So do you wanna grab a bite later? 148 00:05:06,657 --> 00:05:07,806 - [giggles] 149 00:05:07,941 --> 00:05:10,859 - maybe some place quiet where we can talk? 150 00:05:10,978 --> 00:05:12,044 - Talk? [giggles] 151 00:05:12,146 --> 00:05:14,046 [knocks] - ms. Shaw, your 11:00. 152 00:05:14,148 --> 00:05:15,964 - Okay, great. [clears throat] 153 00:05:18,452 --> 00:05:20,118 oh, I'm sorry. 154 00:05:20,220 --> 00:05:22,020 I'm supposed to meet with some 100-year-olds. 155 00:05:22,122 --> 00:05:24,623 You guys look 80, tops. 156 00:05:24,725 --> 00:05:27,242 - Oh, this is so exciting. 157 00:05:27,361 --> 00:05:30,445 I never get out, except for doctor's appointments, 158 00:05:30,564 --> 00:05:34,232 funerals, and when I just wake up at the bus station. 159 00:05:34,368 --> 00:05:37,002 And now I get to meet the mayor! 160 00:05:37,104 --> 00:05:40,038 - Which of you is mayor bremer? - Oh... 161 00:05:42,226 --> 00:05:44,643 Uh, mayor nell bremer. [laughs] 162 00:05:44,745 --> 00:05:46,044 it's spelled wrong on the door. 163 00:05:46,146 --> 00:05:48,647 Government work, am I right? [laughs] 164 00:05:48,749 --> 00:05:50,215 hello. 165 00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:53,352 - Hey. 166 00:05:53,454 --> 00:05:56,321 [hard rock music] 167 00:05:56,457 --> 00:06:03,261 ♪ 168 00:06:03,364 --> 00:06:05,063 is that... 169 00:06:05,165 --> 00:06:06,098 Arpi? 170 00:06:06,183 --> 00:06:08,400 - Okay. Unexpected. 171 00:06:08,502 --> 00:06:10,469 Jayden convinced her to soften her look. 172 00:06:10,571 --> 00:06:11,603 - Who knew that was in there? 173 00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:13,138 - Ms. Meskimen, 174 00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:15,107 how can you expect to be mayor of the city of angels 175 00:06:15,209 --> 00:06:16,608 with a butt like the devil? 176 00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,510 - [laughing] oh, you. 177 00:06:18,612 --> 00:06:19,745 - "oh, you?" 178 00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:21,947 this is the woman who spider-man'd up 179 00:06:22,049 --> 00:06:23,582 an unfinished high-rise 180 00:06:23,667 --> 00:06:26,151 to yell at a construction worker who whistled at her. 181 00:06:26,236 --> 00:06:27,569 - Exactly, sir. That's still arpi 182 00:06:27,687 --> 00:06:28,854 underneath that skirt suit. 183 00:06:28,989 --> 00:06:30,522 You need to get the real arpi to come out. 184 00:06:30,624 --> 00:06:32,891 Like when you feed a real housewife eight rosés. 185 00:06:32,993 --> 00:06:35,427 - Oh, this? [indistinct chatter] 186 00:06:35,529 --> 00:06:37,195 ♪ 187 00:06:37,297 --> 00:06:39,047 - okay, maybe just leave it with me. 188 00:06:39,166 --> 00:06:40,832 - End her. 189 00:06:40,934 --> 00:06:43,168 ♪ 190 00:06:45,004 --> 00:06:47,672 - welcome to the los angeles mayoral recall debate. 191 00:06:48,175 --> 00:06:49,091 I'm chet danville. 192 00:06:49,209 --> 00:06:50,375 Let's jump right in. 193 00:06:50,511 --> 00:06:52,210 Homelessness used to be 194 00:06:52,296 --> 00:06:54,212 a reliable staple of sitcom hijinks. 195 00:06:54,348 --> 00:06:56,081 Gas mask reggie, 196 00:06:56,183 --> 00:06:57,966 how do we fix it so it can be funny again? 197 00:06:58,084 --> 00:07:00,218 - Chet, this is my tenth campaign, 198 00:07:00,304 --> 00:07:01,987 and my platform has not changed. 199 00:07:02,089 --> 00:07:04,055 By the time you need a gas mask, 200 00:07:04,191 --> 00:07:05,640 it will be too late. 201 00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:07,609 I cede the remainder of my time. 202 00:07:07,728 --> 00:07:10,278 [applause] 203 00:07:10,397 --> 00:07:12,481 - great stuff as always, reggie. 204 00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:13,698 Former mayor victor delgado. 205 00:07:13,784 --> 00:07:16,401 - I am back, healthy, and ready to serve the city again. 206 00:07:16,487 --> 00:07:18,653 - Same question to you. 207 00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:21,206 - No, I can't do this. 208 00:07:21,291 --> 00:07:22,908 Sorry. Sorry, everyone. 209 00:07:23,043 --> 00:07:24,242 [scattered applause] 210 00:07:24,328 --> 00:07:26,077 - and just like that, it's a three-way race. 211 00:07:26,180 --> 00:07:27,295 Deputy mayor arpi meskimen. 212 00:07:27,414 --> 00:07:29,080 Homelessness. Go. 213 00:07:29,166 --> 00:07:33,752 ♪ 214 00:07:33,837 --> 00:07:34,920 - l.A. 215 00:07:35,005 --> 00:07:37,456 Where else can you go to the beach and the mountains 216 00:07:37,558 --> 00:07:40,142 on the same day? Am I right? 217 00:07:40,260 --> 00:07:41,793 [cheers and applause] 218 00:07:41,895 --> 00:07:42,894 - whoo! 219 00:07:42,980 --> 00:07:44,729 [applause] 220 00:07:44,832 --> 00:07:45,764 - [laughs] 221 00:07:45,899 --> 00:07:47,599 "mayor bremer." 222 00:07:47,684 --> 00:07:50,068 same question. 223 00:07:50,154 --> 00:07:52,204 - I have a better question, chet. 224 00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:53,772 How can you trust a woman... 225 00:07:53,857 --> 00:07:55,440 - Well said. 226 00:07:55,576 --> 00:08:00,912 - Who'd run for mayor against the very man who hired her? 227 00:08:00,998 --> 00:08:02,330 - [chuckles] 228 00:08:02,449 --> 00:08:04,115 there you go again. 229 00:08:04,251 --> 00:08:05,684 [laughter] - no, no, no, no, come on. 230 00:08:05,786 --> 00:08:07,819 Let's not forget about all the promises 231 00:08:07,921 --> 00:08:09,354 she's made over the years: 232 00:08:09,456 --> 00:08:11,873 Making l.A. Carbon-neutral, 233 00:08:11,992 --> 00:08:13,708 freeing the zoo animals, 234 00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:16,678 getting the porn industry to shoot on film again. 235 00:08:16,797 --> 00:08:18,046 I mean, has any of that happened? 236 00:08:18,165 --> 00:08:19,097 - No. 237 00:08:19,199 --> 00:08:21,049 It's all digital and you can tell. 238 00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:22,884 It's ruined storytelling. 239 00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:26,104 [applause and whistling] 240 00:08:26,190 --> 00:08:27,973 - oh. Never done a fist pump before. 241 00:08:28,058 --> 00:08:29,374 It's easy. 242 00:08:29,476 --> 00:08:31,359 - Ms. Meskimen, your response? - You know, chet? 243 00:08:31,478 --> 00:08:34,312 I'll tell you a little something about loyalty. 244 00:08:34,398 --> 00:08:36,715 [quirky music] 245 00:08:36,817 --> 00:08:38,366 go l.A. Sports! 246 00:08:38,485 --> 00:08:41,369 [wild cheers and applause] 247 00:08:41,488 --> 00:08:44,155 - chet, chet, you can't bring props. 248 00:08:44,241 --> 00:08:47,125 You cannot bring props-- 249 00:08:47,227 --> 00:08:49,127 - I guess the biggest question is: 250 00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:52,297 What do I do after being the youngest mayor in l.A. History? 251 00:08:52,399 --> 00:08:53,632 [laughs] - okay, thank you all 252 00:08:53,734 --> 00:08:56,501 for stopping by. See you all again at 200. 253 00:08:56,603 --> 00:08:58,303 - I used to work in this building. 254 00:08:58,405 --> 00:09:01,506 I met mayor bowron here in 1948. 255 00:09:01,608 --> 00:09:04,392 Now I'm meeting you here. The current mayor. 256 00:09:04,511 --> 00:09:06,011 - That's right. 257 00:09:06,113 --> 00:09:08,179 I know it's hard to believe it happened in your lifetime. 258 00:09:08,282 --> 00:09:09,848 I mean, yes, obama was first. 259 00:09:09,983 --> 00:09:11,683 But in some ways, this is a bigger deal. 260 00:09:11,785 --> 00:09:13,418 - Okay, thank you for coming, sir. 261 00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:15,186 - Thank you. - Thank you, thank you. 262 00:09:15,289 --> 00:09:16,888 - Bye. - Bye-bye. 263 00:09:16,990 --> 00:09:18,089 - What? 264 00:09:18,191 --> 00:09:20,425 I'm not gonna apologize for brightening up their day. 265 00:09:20,527 --> 00:09:22,827 I mean, eugene said I had gams for miles, 266 00:09:22,930 --> 00:09:26,164 and for a second, I was like, "this old man could get it." 267 00:09:26,266 --> 00:09:27,966 - oh...Kay. 268 00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:29,334 Well, back to reality. 269 00:09:29,436 --> 00:09:30,702 I made a dinner reservation, 270 00:09:30,804 --> 00:09:32,170 but can we drive there separately? 271 00:09:32,272 --> 00:09:33,605 I've got a psych-up mix, 272 00:09:33,707 --> 00:09:34,789 and I don't think it's gonna work if you're there. 273 00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:36,708 - Uh, yeah, james, um, 274 00:09:36,810 --> 00:09:38,710 what exactly do we need to talk about tonight? 275 00:09:38,812 --> 00:09:40,745 'cause you said "talk" like "talk." 276 00:09:40,847 --> 00:09:43,448 - uh, okay. 277 00:09:43,550 --> 00:09:45,450 So you know I don't actually work here. 278 00:09:45,552 --> 00:09:48,420 - Uh-huh. - And at some point, 279 00:09:48,522 --> 00:09:50,722 impactium is gonna put me on another project, 280 00:09:50,807 --> 00:09:53,692 and they can send me anywhere. 281 00:09:53,777 --> 00:09:55,360 You know, before everything shut down for covid, 282 00:09:55,445 --> 00:09:56,861 I spent six months in kansas city. 283 00:09:56,964 --> 00:09:57,729 - On which side? 284 00:09:58,598 --> 00:09:59,197 - Kansas. - I don't know why I asked. 285 00:09:59,983 --> 00:10:00,265 I don't have an informed opinion. 286 00:10:00,801 --> 00:10:03,034 - So I asked my boss 287 00:10:03,136 --> 00:10:06,871 if my next assignment could be in southern california. 288 00:10:06,957 --> 00:10:08,039 [bright music] 289 00:10:08,125 --> 00:10:10,742 - uh, what, because of me? 290 00:10:10,827 --> 00:10:13,211 - So we can see where this goes... 291 00:10:13,313 --> 00:10:15,213 ♪ 292 00:10:15,299 --> 00:10:17,332 you okay? - Oh, yes, more than okay. 293 00:10:17,451 --> 00:10:19,484 I am a-okay. 294 00:10:19,586 --> 00:10:21,119 A-okay! [laughs] 295 00:10:21,221 --> 00:10:23,421 [cheers] a-a-okay-okay! 296 00:10:23,557 --> 00:10:24,823 Why did I cheer that? 297 00:10:24,925 --> 00:10:26,057 - Okay. 298 00:10:26,159 --> 00:10:28,994 ♪ 299 00:10:29,096 --> 00:10:31,062 - ms. Meskimen, it is true that you are running 300 00:10:31,148 --> 00:10:32,731 against the administration that you work for. 301 00:10:32,816 --> 00:10:35,016 What exactly would you do differently? 302 00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:38,903 - Well, for starters, I don't think I'd build 303 00:10:39,006 --> 00:10:41,406 a 20,000-mile-long space elevator. 304 00:10:41,491 --> 00:10:43,408 What's that compensating for? 305 00:10:43,493 --> 00:10:45,143 [laughter and applause] 306 00:10:45,245 --> 00:10:46,828 - probably a small penis. 307 00:10:46,947 --> 00:10:48,747 - Sometimes tall guys are like that. 308 00:10:48,832 --> 00:10:51,149 - Well, unlike ms. Meskimen, 309 00:10:51,251 --> 00:10:54,502 I didn't make sexual advances towards a subordinate 310 00:10:54,621 --> 00:10:56,504 who was then fired. [audience gasps] 311 00:10:56,623 --> 00:10:58,623 - are we at burger king, folks? 312 00:10:58,759 --> 00:11:00,091 'cause that fib was a whopper. [laughter] 313 00:11:00,177 --> 00:11:01,860 - I think we should believe 314 00:11:01,962 --> 00:11:04,295 the victims of workplace harassment. 315 00:11:04,431 --> 00:11:06,014 - So do I! 316 00:11:06,133 --> 00:11:07,932 - Oh, he's here. 317 00:11:08,018 --> 00:11:09,134 Good job, tommy. 318 00:11:09,219 --> 00:11:10,719 - My name is patrick schenk. 319 00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:12,354 I used to film city council meetings, 320 00:11:12,472 --> 00:11:14,272 but then deputy mayor meskimen 321 00:11:14,358 --> 00:11:16,107 kissed me in a parking lot, 322 00:11:16,193 --> 00:11:17,359 and threw me away 323 00:11:17,477 --> 00:11:19,477 like a remote control shark balloon 324 00:11:19,563 --> 00:11:22,947 that breaks one second after you assemble it! 325 00:11:23,033 --> 00:11:27,986 And she did it at christmas. [audience jeering] 326 00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:31,239 - we'll be right back after a full episode of "scrubs." 327 00:11:31,357 --> 00:11:32,657 our scheduling guy made a mistake. 328 00:11:33,726 --> 00:11:33,758 . 329 00:11:35,594 --> 00:11:36,327 - He's lying! 330 00:11:36,930 --> 00:11:37,595 Patrick didn't get fired, 331 00:11:38,465 --> 00:11:39,130 'cause he didn't work at city hall! 332 00:11:39,232 --> 00:11:40,382 He was a stalker. 333 00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:42,300 - That doesn't matter. 334 00:11:42,436 --> 00:11:44,436 What matters is that you look like a winner. 335 00:11:44,538 --> 00:11:46,137 "l.A. Weekly" has a "who wore it better?" 336 00:11:46,239 --> 00:11:47,205 with you and lisa vanderpump. 337 00:11:48,275 --> 00:11:50,208 And you now have a page on celebrityankles.Net. 338 00:11:50,310 --> 00:11:51,693 - I just can't believe they'd go low. 339 00:11:51,812 --> 00:11:54,145 - Tommy talks more trash than oscar the grouch. 340 00:11:54,281 --> 00:11:55,647 But I have a move up my sleeve 341 00:11:55,782 --> 00:11:57,449 that'll make oscar look like freakin' elmo. 342 00:11:57,534 --> 00:11:59,384 - I didn't know you had it in you, kwapis. 343 00:11:59,486 --> 00:12:01,069 The dirty tricks. - I don't like it, 344 00:12:01,187 --> 00:12:03,221 but I am a student of nixon. 345 00:12:03,323 --> 00:12:04,289 Cynthia nixon. 346 00:12:05,358 --> 00:12:06,825 You remember when she ran for governor of new york? 347 00:12:06,927 --> 00:12:10,061 - I only went negative to win, and I am not winning. 348 00:12:10,163 --> 00:12:11,796 - Sir, arpi can't keep this up. 349 00:12:11,898 --> 00:12:13,631 It's like when I tried to date women in college. 350 00:12:13,717 --> 00:12:14,699 Sure, you can fake it for a couple weeks, 351 00:12:14,801 --> 00:12:15,967 but eventually they want more than just cuddling 352 00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:18,169 and listening to the london cast recording of "les mis," 353 00:12:18,255 --> 00:12:19,471 and then you snap. 354 00:12:19,573 --> 00:12:21,172 - I don't have wigs, tommy. [phone vibrating] 355 00:12:21,308 --> 00:12:24,092 I need a knockout punch now! 356 00:12:24,211 --> 00:12:25,243 Hey, kiddo. 357 00:12:25,345 --> 00:12:27,212 - Wow, dad. I can't even watch this. 358 00:12:27,314 --> 00:12:29,247 - "scrubs?" it was a hit, honey. 359 00:12:29,349 --> 00:12:31,015 - No, "scrubs" is funny and touching, 360 00:12:31,151 --> 00:12:32,183 and neil flynn is a treasure. 361 00:12:32,319 --> 00:12:34,152 Just-- how could you go so negative? 362 00:12:34,237 --> 00:12:35,587 - Well, what about arpi? 363 00:12:35,689 --> 00:12:37,555 Her hair looks different, and she's smiling. 364 00:12:37,657 --> 00:12:38,690 - Yeah, and meanwhile, 365 00:12:38,792 --> 00:12:40,358 you're just being a bully and a muckraker. 366 00:12:40,444 --> 00:12:41,776 - I think you mean a mudslinger. 367 00:12:41,895 --> 00:12:42,861 - Mudslinger, fine. 368 00:12:44,063 --> 00:12:45,246 You just love undercutting women, don't you? 369 00:12:45,365 --> 00:12:46,998 - Mud. 370 00:12:47,083 --> 00:12:48,867 Arpi's dysentery initiative. 371 00:12:48,952 --> 00:12:51,770 - Yeah, everything great from your office came from her. 372 00:12:51,872 --> 00:12:54,205 Banning oil drilling, adu's for the unhoused, 373 00:12:54,291 --> 00:12:55,640 family planning for coyotes... 374 00:12:55,742 --> 00:12:58,209 - [whispers] I know how to break arpi. 375 00:12:58,311 --> 00:12:59,410 [line trilling] 376 00:12:59,513 --> 00:13:00,929 - tommy, I've got a situation here. 377 00:13:01,047 --> 00:13:03,248 James asked his firm to keep him in l.A. 378 00:13:03,350 --> 00:13:05,250 For, like, us. 379 00:13:05,352 --> 00:13:06,267 - Oh. Wow. 380 00:13:06,386 --> 00:13:07,485 - Right? I mean, 381 00:13:07,587 --> 00:13:09,487 I wanna see where this goes, sure. 382 00:13:09,589 --> 00:13:11,890 But he's making career decisions because of me? 383 00:13:11,992 --> 00:13:13,892 And he moved in with his ex after only three months. 384 00:13:13,994 --> 00:13:15,794 I mean, are big gestures, like, his thing? 385 00:13:15,896 --> 00:13:17,796 Because big-gesture guys suck! 386 00:13:17,898 --> 00:13:19,998 My college boyfriend filled my dorm room with doves. 387 00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:21,266 They gave me sars. 388 00:13:21,368 --> 00:13:23,401 - Okay, so you'd rather james did nothing? 389 00:13:23,537 --> 00:13:25,069 - No, nothing guys are worse. 390 00:13:25,205 --> 00:13:27,272 This guy I dated in silver lake just walked away 391 00:13:27,374 --> 00:13:30,008 when I got caught sneaking his pot into a phish concert. 392 00:13:30,110 --> 00:13:32,911 - He sounds white. So what exactly do you want? 393 00:13:33,013 --> 00:13:35,113 - I just want-- 394 00:13:35,215 --> 00:13:37,482 have you ever seen whitney houston in "the bodyguard"? 395 00:13:37,584 --> 00:13:38,466 - Oh, okay. So you just want someone 396 00:13:38,585 --> 00:13:39,484 to take a bullet for you. 397 00:13:39,586 --> 00:13:41,052 - I mean, yes. 398 00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:44,556 Something spontaneous that is 1,000% for me! 399 00:13:44,658 --> 00:13:45,890 I mean, micah put those doves 400 00:13:45,976 --> 00:13:47,525 in my room when I was sleeping, tommy. 401 00:13:47,627 --> 00:13:49,310 I rolled over and popped one. 402 00:13:49,429 --> 00:13:50,428 It sounded like a bag of chips, 403 00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:51,596 and I woke up eating it-- 404 00:13:51,698 --> 00:13:52,647 - okay. I'm in the middle of a debate. 405 00:13:52,766 --> 00:13:54,599 - Yeah, tell mayor bremer he's gotta change it up. 406 00:13:54,684 --> 00:13:55,900 Just talk about job numbers, 407 00:13:55,986 --> 00:13:57,151 and how great the weather has been. 408 00:13:57,270 --> 00:13:58,570 Also tell arpi if she's looking 409 00:13:58,672 --> 00:14:00,972 for a chief of staff with experience that I-- 410 00:14:01,074 --> 00:14:02,657 hello? 411 00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:05,109 - There she is. 412 00:14:05,195 --> 00:14:07,078 That's the woman who's been impersonating the mayor. 413 00:14:09,015 --> 00:14:11,749 You think I didn't know who the mayor was because I'm old? 414 00:14:11,835 --> 00:14:14,285 I'm old because I've been outsmarting death 415 00:14:14,421 --> 00:14:15,353 for 100 years! 416 00:14:15,455 --> 00:14:17,655 - That's a weird thing to say. 417 00:14:17,757 --> 00:14:19,290 - I used to work in the da's office, 418 00:14:19,392 --> 00:14:22,210 and california penal code number 529 419 00:14:22,328 --> 00:14:25,964 makes it a felony to impersonate a public official. 420 00:14:26,049 --> 00:14:28,266 God, I missed this! 421 00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:30,201 [patriotic music] 422 00:14:30,303 --> 00:14:31,369 - mayor bremer. 423 00:14:31,471 --> 00:14:34,305 During "scrubs," I misplaced my questions. 424 00:14:34,441 --> 00:14:35,974 Is there anything you'd like to ask me? 425 00:14:36,109 --> 00:14:38,142 - There is, chet. 426 00:14:38,278 --> 00:14:40,361 I'd like to ask you to ask me 427 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:42,730 what achievements I'm most proud of. 428 00:14:42,849 --> 00:14:44,732 - What achievements are you most proud of? 429 00:14:44,851 --> 00:14:45,700 [whispers] thank you. 430 00:14:45,819 --> 00:14:47,785 - Great question, chet. 431 00:14:47,871 --> 00:14:51,322 As you know, I've taken on the oil industry. 432 00:14:51,458 --> 00:14:53,591 I banned drilling in the city, 433 00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:55,543 and I'm working on ending the practice 434 00:14:55,662 --> 00:14:57,629 off our beautiful beaches as well. 435 00:14:57,731 --> 00:15:00,665 And I made it possible for coyotes to have sex 436 00:15:00,750 --> 00:15:03,501 for pleasure, and not just reproduction. 437 00:15:03,637 --> 00:15:05,670 And when I return to office, 438 00:15:05,755 --> 00:15:09,390 I will initiate a program to mitigate urban dysentery, 439 00:15:09,509 --> 00:15:11,509 or m.U.D. For short. 440 00:15:11,645 --> 00:15:12,560 - You son of a bitch! 441 00:15:12,679 --> 00:15:14,562 [audience gasping] 442 00:15:14,681 --> 00:15:16,381 diarrhea's mine, bremer. 443 00:15:16,483 --> 00:15:17,949 All those ideas are mine. 444 00:15:18,051 --> 00:15:20,285 - Then why haven't we heard a single idea 445 00:15:20,387 --> 00:15:22,053 from you all night, meskimen? 446 00:15:22,155 --> 00:15:23,688 - Because I want these morons to like me! 447 00:15:23,823 --> 00:15:24,772 [gasping and jeering] 448 00:15:24,891 --> 00:15:26,407 I put on this whole stupid costume 449 00:15:26,526 --> 00:15:28,526 to play a game that makes me sick! 450 00:15:28,628 --> 00:15:31,529 Well, enough! This isn't me. 451 00:15:31,615 --> 00:15:33,031 This isn't my hair! 452 00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:34,999 [audience gasps] 453 00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:37,168 - yeah, that's gonna be the photo. 454 00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:40,038 - This is me! 455 00:15:40,140 --> 00:15:43,241 If you don't like it, don't vote for me. 456 00:15:43,343 --> 00:15:44,626 - Fine, I won't. 457 00:15:44,744 --> 00:15:46,077 - Dodgers suck! 458 00:15:46,179 --> 00:15:49,764 [booing] 459 00:15:49,883 --> 00:15:52,550 yeah! 460 00:15:52,686 --> 00:15:55,119 - Good race, jayden. I had fun. 461 00:15:55,221 --> 00:15:55,887 - It's not over yet. 462 00:15:56,723 --> 00:15:57,722 I still have an October surprise. 463 00:15:57,857 --> 00:15:59,691 Even though it's-- wait, what month is it? 464 00:16:01,478 --> 00:16:03,111 Not that. I don't know what that is. 465 00:16:03,229 --> 00:16:04,128 That seems bad. 466 00:16:04,230 --> 00:16:05,730 - Oh, my god. 467 00:16:05,815 --> 00:16:09,233 Is anyone else, like, so tired of these two? 468 00:16:09,336 --> 00:16:11,736 [cheers and applause] 469 00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:15,907 - okay, sir. 470 00:16:16,042 --> 00:16:18,076 I think there must be some mistake here. 471 00:16:18,178 --> 00:16:19,744 - A mistake you're gonna have plenty of time 472 00:16:19,879 --> 00:16:22,080 to think about in jail! - [gasps] 473 00:16:22,182 --> 00:16:23,982 - or community service. - [gasps] 474 00:16:24,084 --> 00:16:27,251 - look, ms. Shaw, he's making a complaint. 475 00:16:27,387 --> 00:16:28,853 I gotta take it down. 476 00:16:28,955 --> 00:16:30,588 - Seriously? Okay, no. 477 00:16:30,724 --> 00:16:32,390 This is getting out of hand. I-I-- 478 00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:34,492 - granddaddy! There you are. 479 00:16:34,594 --> 00:16:35,760 - Hey, get off me, man. 480 00:16:35,862 --> 00:16:37,729 - What? You don't know me? 481 00:16:37,814 --> 00:16:39,497 It's ernie. It's ruthie's son. 482 00:16:39,599 --> 00:16:42,183 He keeps wandering off quoting old "law and order" episodes. 483 00:16:42,302 --> 00:16:44,152 He's watched so much, he thinks he's a lawyer. 484 00:16:44,270 --> 00:16:45,403 - I am a lawyer. 485 00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:46,804 - Let's get you home, gramps. 486 00:16:46,906 --> 00:16:48,172 - I drove myself here! 487 00:16:48,274 --> 00:16:48,973 Officer, he was there! 488 00:16:49,776 --> 00:16:50,475 The son of a bitch was in on it! 489 00:16:50,577 --> 00:16:51,809 - I believe you, sir, 490 00:16:51,911 --> 00:16:53,644 and I'm gonna get detectives benson and stabler 491 00:16:53,747 --> 00:16:54,812 to deal with it. 492 00:16:54,914 --> 00:16:56,714 - Don't leave me with these lunatics! 493 00:16:56,816 --> 00:16:58,499 - I'm sorry, sir. So, so, so sorry. 494 00:16:58,618 --> 00:16:59,617 Thank you for your service. 495 00:16:59,753 --> 00:17:00,985 - I'll be waiting for you in hell. 496 00:17:01,087 --> 00:17:02,020 [elevator dings] 497 00:17:03,556 --> 00:17:05,156 - please don't look at me, mikaela. 498 00:17:05,258 --> 00:17:07,125 That was awful-- 499 00:17:07,227 --> 00:17:10,128 okay, if your kink is me gaslighting the elderly, 500 00:17:10,213 --> 00:17:10,845 I can work with that. 501 00:17:11,598 --> 00:17:14,132 - No, you took a bullet for me. 502 00:17:14,234 --> 00:17:16,718 I'm whitney and you're kevin costner. 503 00:17:16,836 --> 00:17:19,270 - Yes, I get that all the time. 504 00:17:19,355 --> 00:17:22,190 - You should stay in l.A. 505 00:17:22,308 --> 00:17:23,524 - Are you sure? 506 00:17:23,643 --> 00:17:25,610 [bright music] 507 00:17:28,113 --> 00:17:29,447 - hey! You withdrew! 508 00:17:29,482 --> 00:17:31,315 You can't just show up at the end. 509 00:17:31,351 --> 00:17:33,584 - My generation views work differently. 510 00:17:33,620 --> 00:17:36,687 We make our own hours, and we don't believe in hierarchies. 511 00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:38,790 - That explains why my interns bully me. 512 00:17:38,825 --> 00:17:41,159 - So I'm, like, back. And guess what? 513 00:17:41,194 --> 00:17:42,927 Netflix loved that I was running for mayor, 514 00:17:42,962 --> 00:17:44,796 so that's the show they wanna do with me. 515 00:17:44,831 --> 00:17:46,581 You guys will watch that, right? 516 00:17:46,633 --> 00:17:49,300 [wild cheers and applause] 517 00:17:49,335 --> 00:17:51,636 so vote titi b. Or else I'll have to run 518 00:17:51,671 --> 00:17:53,838 for mayor in my safety city, denver. 519 00:17:53,873 --> 00:17:55,223 They said they'd hold the position open for me, 520 00:17:55,258 --> 00:17:57,708 but you guys are my first choice. 521 00:17:57,727 --> 00:18:01,979 [cheers and applause] 522 00:18:02,015 --> 00:18:03,881 - that concludes the main portion of the debate. 523 00:18:03,900 --> 00:18:04,932 We'll be right back... [cellphone vibrates] 524 00:18:04,984 --> 00:18:06,184 [suspenseful music] 525 00:18:06,219 --> 00:18:09,520 after I answer this call from my doctor. 526 00:18:09,556 --> 00:18:10,688 Chet danville here. 527 00:18:10,723 --> 00:18:11,656 Why are you crying? 528 00:18:11,691 --> 00:18:14,659 ♪ 529 00:18:14,694 --> 00:18:16,094 - and that's a wrap 530 00:18:16,129 --> 00:18:18,963 on mayor shaw's successful term in office. 531 00:18:18,998 --> 00:18:20,731 Russian hackers did take over the subway, 532 00:18:20,767 --> 00:18:22,533 but there was no one on it, so. 533 00:18:22,569 --> 00:18:23,901 - I just got my next assignment. 534 00:18:23,920 --> 00:18:24,969 - [gasps] please don't tell me 535 00:18:25,004 --> 00:18:26,137 it's in palm springs. 536 00:18:26,172 --> 00:18:28,673 My hair gets so dry in the desert. 537 00:18:28,708 --> 00:18:31,109 - Dubai. 538 00:18:31,144 --> 00:18:33,377 - The place from "mission impossible: Ghost protocol"? 539 00:18:33,413 --> 00:18:36,264 But I thought you told them you wanted to stay here. 540 00:18:36,299 --> 00:18:37,715 - Yeah, I requested that. 541 00:18:37,750 --> 00:18:40,584 But they send me where they need me. 542 00:18:40,603 --> 00:18:41,953 - Wow. 543 00:18:41,988 --> 00:18:44,972 I guess this really is "the bodyguard." 544 00:18:45,024 --> 00:18:47,358 I continue rocketing to the top, looking amazing, 545 00:18:47,393 --> 00:18:51,145 and you have to move on to your next assignment. 546 00:18:51,197 --> 00:18:53,397 I mean, you're not gonna quit for me. 547 00:18:53,433 --> 00:18:54,649 [somber music] 548 00:18:54,701 --> 00:18:59,337 - well, I guess it's a good thing we got the news so early. 549 00:18:59,372 --> 00:19:00,288 ♪ 550 00:19:00,323 --> 00:19:03,241 no time for anyone to catch feelings, right? 551 00:19:03,276 --> 00:19:05,609 - Right. 552 00:19:05,628 --> 00:19:07,078 ♪ 553 00:19:07,113 --> 00:19:09,914 - it's nice working with you, mikaela. 554 00:19:09,949 --> 00:19:11,415 - Likewise, james. 555 00:19:11,451 --> 00:19:15,619 ♪ 556 00:19:15,638 --> 00:19:16,838 - hey, now, where are you going? 557 00:19:16,890 --> 00:19:18,289 We still have closing statements. 558 00:19:18,324 --> 00:19:19,307 - Oh, no, I'm good. 559 00:19:19,342 --> 00:19:23,895 - Hey, this isn't just about you, little missy! 560 00:19:23,930 --> 00:19:27,031 The people of los angeles deserve better 561 00:19:27,066 --> 00:19:29,066 than an instagram shoe person 562 00:19:29,102 --> 00:19:31,202 who changes their mind every two seconds. 563 00:19:31,237 --> 00:19:34,038 - [scoffs] I'm not just a shoe person. 564 00:19:34,073 --> 00:19:36,340 I also have a line of conflict jewelry. 565 00:19:36,376 --> 00:19:37,975 - Warlord: Teach the controversy, 566 00:19:37,994 --> 00:19:39,143 wear the controversy. - Mm-hmm. 567 00:19:39,162 --> 00:19:41,078 - And I didn't just change my mind. 568 00:19:41,114 --> 00:19:42,780 This is always my move. 569 00:19:42,815 --> 00:19:43,814 I say I'm not coming, 570 00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:44,832 and then I show up super late 571 00:19:44,868 --> 00:19:46,017 when there's already drama, 572 00:19:46,052 --> 00:19:47,852 and everyone's just psyched to see me. 573 00:19:47,887 --> 00:19:48,986 It's how I roll at parties, 574 00:19:49,022 --> 00:19:51,122 movie premieres, and thanksgiving. 575 00:19:51,157 --> 00:19:53,424 My family's palestinian, so there's always something, 576 00:19:53,459 --> 00:19:54,675 but it's usually israel. 577 00:19:54,711 --> 00:19:56,594 - You planned this. 578 00:19:56,629 --> 00:19:58,095 You let us tear each other apart, 579 00:19:58,131 --> 00:20:00,731 so you could swoop in and be the hero? 580 00:20:00,767 --> 00:20:01,799 - It's rope-a-dope! 581 00:20:01,834 --> 00:20:04,402 And we're the dopes! - [laughs] 582 00:20:04,437 --> 00:20:05,469 peace be with you. 583 00:20:05,505 --> 00:20:08,172 - Hey, this conversation's not over, young lady-- 584 00:20:08,208 --> 00:20:10,308 hey! Get-- - let's go. Get the car ready. 585 00:20:10,343 --> 00:20:11,475 - God, darn it. 586 00:20:11,510 --> 00:20:14,478 - Well, looks like I'm getting a disease named after me. 587 00:20:14,514 --> 00:20:16,380 You guys ready for closing statements? 588 00:20:16,416 --> 00:20:17,882 [patriotic music] 589 00:20:17,917 --> 00:20:20,484 oh! Welcome back! 590 00:20:20,519 --> 00:20:22,486 [door slams] 591 00:20:22,522 --> 00:20:24,355 - there he is. 592 00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:25,689 - My October surprise. 593 00:20:25,708 --> 00:20:28,626 - Well, hello, mr. Mayor. 594 00:20:28,661 --> 00:20:30,094 - Do I know you? 595 00:20:30,129 --> 00:20:33,748 - Does the name "angie patinkin" ring a bell? 596 00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:37,668 - Oh, my word. Um, angie? 597 00:20:37,703 --> 00:20:40,755 Wow! Uh, when was that? 598 00:20:40,807 --> 00:20:43,507 1965? 599 00:20:43,543 --> 00:20:45,176 You look good. 600 00:20:45,211 --> 00:20:46,994 - I'm not angie, you idiot. 601 00:20:47,046 --> 00:20:49,046 I'm her daughter... 602 00:20:49,082 --> 00:20:51,515 Dad. [audience gasping] 603 00:20:51,551 --> 00:20:52,750 [shutters clicking] 604 00:20:52,785 --> 00:20:54,218 [quirky music] 605 00:20:54,254 --> 00:20:55,519 - what? 606 00:20:55,555 --> 00:20:57,455 - Oh, my god. 607 00:20:57,490 --> 00:20:58,823 - Cliffhanger. 608 00:20:58,858 --> 00:21:01,458 - So who's gonna pay for the cab I took from flagstaff? 609 00:21:01,477 --> 00:21:03,127 I don't fly. 610 00:21:03,162 --> 00:21:05,463 Airlines put me on a list, right, and you know what? 611 00:21:05,498 --> 00:21:06,731 They're on mine! 612 00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:07,982 [phone vibrates] 613 00:21:08,017 --> 00:21:09,533 [indistinct chatter] 614 00:21:09,569 --> 00:21:12,036 - hello? This is he. 615 00:21:12,071 --> 00:21:13,471 [dramatic music] 616 00:21:13,506 --> 00:21:15,273 I won the raffle? 617 00:21:15,308 --> 00:21:19,377 Guys, I'm getting' a lizard! [laughs]