1 00:00:24,284 --> 00:00:26,460 Ashley Jones awoke one morning 2 00:00:26,547 --> 00:00:28,984 from pleasant dreams and found herself transformed 3 00:00:29,072 --> 00:00:31,074 into something perfectly different. 4 00:00:33,380 --> 00:00:36,035 [Larry] Wait, what? What did you say? 5 00:00:38,951 --> 00:00:39,995 [chuckles] 6 00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:44,304 Retracing her steps, 7 00:00:44,391 --> 00:00:47,090 Ashley Jones never saw it coming. 8 00:00:51,006 --> 00:00:52,443 [crunching] 9 00:00:52,530 --> 00:00:53,879 [man] What now? 10 00:00:53,966 --> 00:00:55,446 You better let me see someidentification. 11 00:00:55,533 --> 00:00:57,448 [man] Sure, sure, pretty boy. I got it right here. 12 00:00:57,535 --> 00:00:59,102 [gunshots] 13 00:00:59,189 --> 00:01:03,715 THEIR FAVORITE RESTAURANT ...THE NIGHT BEFORE 14 00:01:03,802 --> 00:01:06,718 Thinking back, everything seemed perfectly normal. 15 00:01:06,805 --> 00:01:08,415 Everything is perfectly normal. 16 00:01:08,502 --> 00:01:09,938 Thanks. 17 00:01:10,025 --> 00:01:12,811 As usual, Larry ordered a tenderloin steak, medium, 18 00:01:12,898 --> 00:01:14,639 with three russet potatoes. 19 00:01:14,726 --> 00:01:16,554 And for Ashley, a plate of spaghetti 20 00:01:16,641 --> 00:01:19,383 with marinara sauce without meatballs. 21 00:01:19,469 --> 00:01:22,125 Mm, this steak is delicious. 22 00:01:22,212 --> 00:01:23,951 I'm so glad you like it. 23 00:01:31,786 --> 00:01:34,224 As always, everybody enjoyed the party. 24 00:01:34,311 --> 00:01:35,355 Ashley, not least of all. 25 00:01:35,442 --> 00:01:36,400 TWO DAYS EARLIER 26 00:01:36,487 --> 00:01:38,141 [Ashley chuckling] Orange who? 27 00:01:38,228 --> 00:01:39,445 Aren't you glad I didn't say banana? 28 00:01:39,533 --> 00:01:41,013 [chuckling] 29 00:01:41,100 --> 00:01:43,407 [woman] How about that weather, huh? 30 00:01:43,494 --> 00:01:45,800 I put in a reservation for tomorrow night. 31 00:01:45,887 --> 00:01:48,194 -Our usual table? -Of course. 32 00:01:48,281 --> 00:01:49,282 [both chuckle] 33 00:01:49,369 --> 00:01:51,153 You too are so cute together. 34 00:01:51,241 --> 00:01:53,025 -Tiffany, how's it going? -Good. 35 00:01:53,112 --> 00:01:54,505 I've got about five numbers so far. 36 00:01:54,592 --> 00:01:55,897 So pretty average. 37 00:01:55,984 --> 00:01:58,290 -Good for you. -Is that Dwayne? 38 00:01:59,683 --> 00:02:01,251 Who's Dwayne? 39 00:02:01,338 --> 00:02:02,600 THREE DAYS EARLIER 40 00:02:02,687 --> 00:02:06,256 We're going live in five, four, three, two... 41 00:02:06,343 --> 00:02:07,082 ACTION NEWS LIVE 42 00:02:07,170 --> 00:02:08,562 [theme music playing] 43 00:02:08,649 --> 00:02:11,739 The town is divided over this controversy. 44 00:02:11,826 --> 00:02:14,307 The center of the debate... this tree. 45 00:02:14,394 --> 00:02:15,439 You suck. 46 00:02:15,526 --> 00:02:16,831 What do you think of the tree? 47 00:02:16,918 --> 00:02:18,224 RANDY DITHERS TREE ENTHUSIAST 48 00:02:18,311 --> 00:02:19,660 I don't know. What do you think? 49 00:02:19,747 --> 00:02:21,358 Trees? Yeah. 50 00:02:21,445 --> 00:02:22,489 JOHNNY COLUMBUS TREE ENTHUSIAST 51 00:02:22,576 --> 00:02:23,447 Uh, okay. 52 00:02:23,534 --> 00:02:24,883 What do you think... 53 00:02:24,970 --> 00:02:26,363 There was nothing strange about her work either. 54 00:02:26,450 --> 00:02:27,799 ASHTON BATAKO TREE UNENTHUSIAST 55 00:02:27,886 --> 00:02:30,845 Well, I'm not anti-tree. But I'm not pro tree either. 56 00:02:30,932 --> 00:02:33,500 Well, maybe a little strange. 57 00:02:33,586 --> 00:02:35,502 -And what do you think? -What? 58 00:02:35,589 --> 00:02:37,112 I just want to know what you think. 59 00:02:38,636 --> 00:02:40,203 -No, you don't? -Yes, I do. 60 00:02:40,290 --> 00:02:41,682 What do you think about the tree? 61 00:02:41,769 --> 00:02:43,293 EVIE COLLECTS ROCKS 62 00:02:43,380 --> 00:02:45,164 Well, I think in the grand scheme of things, 63 00:02:45,251 --> 00:02:46,948 it doesn't really matter. 64 00:02:47,035 --> 00:02:48,646 [Jim] Ask her to elaborate. 65 00:02:48,733 --> 00:02:50,865 Can you elaborate? 66 00:02:50,952 --> 00:02:54,478 What's one tree in the span of our planet's history? 67 00:02:54,565 --> 00:02:57,220 Right? Entire species of trees have gone extinct. 68 00:02:57,307 --> 00:02:58,830 Do you miss the Lepidodendron? 69 00:02:58,917 --> 00:03:00,962 [scoffs] Yeah, me neither. 70 00:03:01,049 --> 00:03:02,442 How does she know so much about trees? 71 00:03:02,529 --> 00:03:03,835 [Ashley] How do you know so much about trees? 72 00:03:03,922 --> 00:03:06,185 You wouldn't believe me. 73 00:03:06,272 --> 00:03:07,534 [Bruce] Tell her you would. 74 00:03:07,621 --> 00:03:09,362 Yes, I would. Try me. 75 00:03:09,449 --> 00:03:11,103 BREAKING NEWS LEPIDODENDRON EXTINCT 76 00:03:11,190 --> 00:03:13,323 TREE DISCUSSION REACHES TURNING POINT 77 00:03:13,410 --> 00:03:16,021 I've been around the block. 78 00:03:16,108 --> 00:03:17,979 You must've seen a lot of interesting things. 79 00:03:18,066 --> 00:03:19,590 Yeah. 80 00:03:19,677 --> 00:03:22,332 What's the most interesting thing she's ever seen? 81 00:03:22,419 --> 00:03:24,725 Wow. I never really... 82 00:03:26,466 --> 00:03:28,947 That's a great question. 83 00:03:29,034 --> 00:03:31,515 I mean, after living for 500,000 years 84 00:03:31,602 --> 00:03:33,430 you've seen through so many technological... 85 00:03:33,517 --> 00:03:35,301 What? What did she just say? 86 00:03:35,388 --> 00:03:37,912 -What did you say? -About the extinct tree? 87 00:03:37,999 --> 00:03:39,131 -Did she just say she's five hundred-- 88 00:03:39,218 --> 00:03:40,828 -thousand years old? 89 00:03:40,915 --> 00:03:42,395 "TIME FLIES" LOCAL WOMAN TURNS 90 00:03:42,482 --> 00:03:45,093 Oh, well, I will be 500,000... in two weeks. 91 00:03:45,180 --> 00:03:47,095 Ask her who built the pyramids? 92 00:03:47,182 --> 00:03:48,967 Oh, gosh. What was his name? 93 00:03:49,054 --> 00:03:51,491 This bald guy. He was a complete jerk. 94 00:03:51,578 --> 00:03:54,755 Wow. Is this woman out of her mind? 95 00:03:54,842 --> 00:03:56,366 ...supposed to be about the tree? 96 00:03:56,453 --> 00:03:57,497 ARTIST OR EGOMANIAC? EYE WITNESS CALLS PYRAMID BUILDER "A JERK" 97 00:03:57,584 --> 00:03:59,020 Oh, I thought we moved past that. 98 00:03:59,107 --> 00:04:00,457 -But we can keep talking-- -Okay, Ashley. 99 00:04:00,544 --> 00:04:03,590 -Repeat after me. -I don't think I should. 100 00:04:03,677 --> 00:04:05,200 Oh, yeah. 101 00:04:05,288 --> 00:04:06,332 SHOCKING REVELATIONS: 102 00:04:06,419 --> 00:04:07,028 TREE EXTINCT/ PYRAMID BUILDER "A JERK" 103 00:04:07,115 --> 00:04:08,682 Me neither. 104 00:04:08,769 --> 00:04:09,683 I gotta go. 105 00:04:13,470 --> 00:04:15,385 Okay. 106 00:04:15,472 --> 00:04:18,692 This is Action News Live from Santa Norma, California. 107 00:04:18,779 --> 00:04:21,129 My name is Ashley Jones. Back to you, Jim. 108 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:25,220 TWO WEEKS EARLIER 109 00:04:25,308 --> 00:04:26,787 [birds chirping] 110 00:04:26,874 --> 00:04:28,311 [footsteps approaching] 111 00:04:31,923 --> 00:04:33,577 I love coming here. 112 00:04:34,186 --> 00:04:35,666 I know. 113 00:04:35,753 --> 00:04:37,232 Their yearly vacation 114 00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:39,147 had also been the same as ever. 115 00:04:39,234 --> 00:04:41,498 I put a reservation in for tonight. 116 00:04:41,585 --> 00:04:43,500 -On normal tip? -Of course. 117 00:04:46,459 --> 00:04:49,593 THEIR VACATION RESTAURANT 118 00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:52,552 Howdy and a good evening. Are you ready to order? 119 00:04:52,639 --> 00:04:54,119 Yes. 120 00:04:54,206 --> 00:04:57,209 As usual, Larry ordered a tenderloin steak, medium, 121 00:04:57,296 --> 00:04:58,950 with three russet potatoes 122 00:04:59,037 --> 00:05:00,343 and a plate of spaghetti 123 00:05:00,430 --> 00:05:02,127 with marinara sauce for Ashley. 124 00:05:02,214 --> 00:05:03,389 And meatballs? 125 00:05:03,476 --> 00:05:04,912 [scoffs] No. 126 00:05:07,175 --> 00:05:08,263 This guy. 127 00:05:08,351 --> 00:05:09,700 [chuckles] Funny. 128 00:05:14,095 --> 00:05:16,924 THEIR FAVORITE RESTAURANT ...MUCH, MUCH EARLIER 129 00:05:17,011 --> 00:05:20,014 It's so nice to finally meet you, Larry. 130 00:05:20,101 --> 00:05:23,017 -I'm Ashley. -Ashley. 131 00:05:23,104 --> 00:05:24,758 That's a perfectly normal name. 132 00:05:24,845 --> 00:05:27,631 Do you like when things are normal? 133 00:05:27,718 --> 00:05:30,198 I do. 134 00:05:30,285 --> 00:05:32,287 I think the best thing in the world is normalcy. 135 00:05:32,375 --> 00:05:35,247 Normalcy? Isn't the word "normality"? 136 00:05:35,334 --> 00:05:37,989 But everybody says "normalcy", 137 00:05:38,076 --> 00:05:40,165 so saying "normality" would be an "abnormalcy." 138 00:05:42,210 --> 00:05:43,995 But isn't the rule 139 00:05:44,082 --> 00:05:45,866 that only words that end in the letter "T " 140 00:05:45,952 --> 00:05:47,651 -get a suffix that-- -No. 141 00:05:47,738 --> 00:05:51,176 It's "normalcy", because saying it is normal. 142 00:05:51,263 --> 00:05:53,700 And normal is right. Right? 143 00:05:55,963 --> 00:05:57,617 Ashley was shocked to realize 144 00:05:57,704 --> 00:06:00,054 that she knew "normalcy" was wrong. 145 00:06:00,141 --> 00:06:03,144 And yet something about it seemed so right. 146 00:06:04,624 --> 00:06:07,279 Normal. Yeah, that sounds right. 147 00:06:10,500 --> 00:06:12,676 -To normalcy. -To normalcy. 148 00:06:12,763 --> 00:06:15,200 To normalcy. [chuckles] 149 00:06:15,287 --> 00:06:18,812 Uh, good evening, today, the chef specials 150 00:06:18,899 --> 00:06:22,033 are a tenderloin potatoes and a spaghetti marinara. 151 00:06:24,992 --> 00:06:26,254 That sounds great. 152 00:06:26,341 --> 00:06:27,952 -Excellent choice. -Thank you. 153 00:06:30,128 --> 00:06:33,740 You know, I could see myself coming back to this place. 154 00:06:35,046 --> 00:06:36,351 Me too. 155 00:06:37,788 --> 00:06:39,093 Yeah. 156 00:06:40,138 --> 00:06:41,444 Me too. 157 00:06:43,837 --> 00:06:47,232 Yes, the perfectly normal life was sweet for Ashley. 158 00:06:47,319 --> 00:06:50,191 And you may well ask, would everything be okay? 159 00:06:50,278 --> 00:06:52,542 -Is everything still okay? -Yeah. 160 00:06:52,629 --> 00:06:54,326 It's great. 161 00:06:54,413 --> 00:06:55,762 It wasn't. 162 00:06:55,849 --> 00:06:57,547 Something was going to happen. 163 00:06:57,634 --> 00:06:58,983 Something terrible. 164 00:06:59,070 --> 00:07:00,506 TERRIBLE FUTURE NO. 1 165 00:07:01,681 --> 00:07:03,640 [sighs] 166 00:07:05,293 --> 00:07:07,557 I was really rooting for you. 167 00:07:07,644 --> 00:07:10,560 But... we have to think about the ratings. 168 00:07:12,475 --> 00:07:13,911 But it wasn't that. 169 00:07:13,998 --> 00:07:16,479 TERRIBLE FUTURE NO. 2 170 00:07:20,178 --> 00:07:21,875 Or that. 171 00:07:21,962 --> 00:07:24,487 TERRIBLE FUTURE NO. 3 172 00:07:24,574 --> 00:07:26,880 [sighs] 173 00:07:26,967 --> 00:07:28,491 You only have ten minutes to live? 174 00:07:28,578 --> 00:07:31,537 [dramatic music playing] 175 00:07:31,624 --> 00:07:34,671 No, the reality was much more grim. 176 00:07:37,021 --> 00:07:40,285 Like I said, Ashley Jones, awoke one morning 177 00:07:40,372 --> 00:07:42,592 from pleasant dreams to find herself transformed 178 00:07:42,679 --> 00:07:45,116 into something perfectly different. 179 00:07:45,202 --> 00:07:46,683 Are you still in bed? 180 00:07:51,296 --> 00:07:52,340 No. 181 00:07:54,517 --> 00:07:57,171 [Japanese accent] I have multiple things to do. 182 00:08:02,307 --> 00:08:04,135 Multiple things? 183 00:08:06,833 --> 00:08:08,487 The reason that Ashley woke up 184 00:08:08,574 --> 00:08:10,881 with a Japanese accent was unclear. 185 00:08:10,968 --> 00:08:13,797 Wait, what? What did you say? 186 00:08:14,493 --> 00:08:15,450 [chuckles] 187 00:08:15,538 --> 00:08:16,974 All right. 188 00:08:18,889 --> 00:08:20,717 What was clear, however, 189 00:08:20,804 --> 00:08:23,633 was that Larry could never find out about this. 190 00:09:04,891 --> 00:09:07,372 It was called foreign accent syndrome, 191 00:09:07,459 --> 00:09:08,808 a rare disorder 192 00:09:08,895 --> 00:09:10,462 that could suddenly and totally change 193 00:09:10,549 --> 00:09:12,116 a speaker's voice. 194 00:09:12,203 --> 00:09:14,684 And Ashley definitely had it. 195 00:09:15,902 --> 00:09:16,816 Hmm. 196 00:09:16,903 --> 00:09:19,384 Probably. 197 00:09:19,471 --> 00:09:21,604 [sighs] Well, your tests indicate no abnormalcies. 198 00:09:23,083 --> 00:09:25,042 Could you walk me through what happened again? 199 00:09:26,957 --> 00:09:28,698 I woke up and I'm different. 200 00:09:30,395 --> 00:09:32,615 Huh, I see. 201 00:09:32,702 --> 00:09:34,878 Do you treat this all the time? 202 00:09:34,965 --> 00:09:37,010 Well, not personally. 203 00:09:37,097 --> 00:09:38,882 I have heard of similar cases, 204 00:09:38,969 --> 00:09:42,929 but yours just... just didn't seem to fit. 205 00:09:45,758 --> 00:09:47,542 Have you been hit on the head recently? 206 00:09:48,892 --> 00:09:50,154 No. 207 00:09:50,241 --> 00:09:53,723 Well, without a clear cause 208 00:09:53,810 --> 00:09:56,116 I can't make any specific recommendation. 209 00:09:57,857 --> 00:09:59,990 But I think speech therapy 210 00:10:00,077 --> 00:10:01,644 could possibly help your situation. 211 00:10:01,731 --> 00:10:04,647 -Then I'll be back to normal? -We'll have to wait and see. 212 00:10:04,734 --> 00:10:06,692 Maybe it will all make sense somehow. 213 00:10:06,779 --> 00:10:08,215 How? 214 00:10:11,436 --> 00:10:12,872 In other news, tempers flared 215 00:10:12,959 --> 00:10:15,266 at last night city council meeting. 216 00:10:15,353 --> 00:10:17,137 Ongoing talks have broken down 217 00:10:17,224 --> 00:10:20,010 at the mayor's controversial flighted deadline 218 00:10:20,097 --> 00:10:22,229 for the decision on the fate of the tree. 219 00:10:22,316 --> 00:10:24,754 Remember to shape your vowels? 220 00:10:24,841 --> 00:10:26,669 Watch your mouth when you shape them. 221 00:10:26,756 --> 00:10:28,453 How is it? Do I sound normal? 222 00:10:28,540 --> 00:10:30,934 Well, let's try it again. 223 00:10:32,936 --> 00:10:37,418 In all other news, tempers flared... 224 00:10:40,030 --> 00:10:42,032 I don't know. She's never late. 225 00:10:42,119 --> 00:10:43,511 Yeah, but what about the weather? 226 00:10:43,598 --> 00:10:44,774 Hmm? 227 00:10:44,861 --> 00:10:46,906 Oh, yeah. Right. 228 00:10:46,993 --> 00:10:48,473 [phone ringing] 229 00:10:49,866 --> 00:10:51,389 This is Bruce. 230 00:10:51,476 --> 00:10:53,130 [man] Hello, this is Dr. Cunningham. 231 00:10:53,217 --> 00:10:54,566 I regret to inform you 232 00:10:54,653 --> 00:10:56,133 that we're finding Miss Jones's illness 233 00:10:56,220 --> 00:10:57,656 to be stubbornly persisting. 234 00:10:57,743 --> 00:10:59,310 [sighs] 235 00:10:59,397 --> 00:11:01,225 You have a time frame for her recovery? 236 00:11:01,312 --> 00:11:02,879 Not as of yet, no. 237 00:11:02,966 --> 00:11:05,185 We're still monitoring the situation. 238 00:11:05,272 --> 00:11:06,578 We've already had to bump back 239 00:11:06,665 --> 00:11:08,319 her interview with the mayor twice. 240 00:11:08,406 --> 00:11:09,668 Can I speak with her? 241 00:11:09,755 --> 00:11:11,801 Well, frankly, it's nothing too serious. 242 00:11:11,888 --> 00:11:14,238 However, I do recommend continued rest. 243 00:11:16,196 --> 00:11:18,938 Well, I'm sure you know what's best, doctor. 244 00:11:19,025 --> 00:11:20,287 Thanks for letting me know. 245 00:11:20,374 --> 00:11:23,726 Not at all, sir. You have a great day. 246 00:11:23,813 --> 00:11:25,728 Can I have my $20 now lady? 247 00:11:25,815 --> 00:11:28,731 -Don't spend it on drugs. -Not gonna spend it on drugs. 248 00:11:28,818 --> 00:11:30,471 You spend it on drugs. 249 00:11:36,173 --> 00:11:38,001 Is everything still perfectly normal, sir? 250 00:11:38,088 --> 00:11:39,785 What? 251 00:11:39,872 --> 00:11:42,005 Oh... thank you. 252 00:11:46,749 --> 00:11:47,880 There you are. 253 00:11:50,013 --> 00:11:53,059 -Did work hold you up again? -Mm-hmm. 254 00:11:53,146 --> 00:11:54,626 Good. 255 00:11:54,713 --> 00:11:56,889 Because that's perfectly normal. 256 00:12:01,502 --> 00:12:03,896 Mm, the steak is delicious. 257 00:12:09,380 --> 00:12:13,514 I said, "Mm, this steak is delicious." 258 00:12:13,601 --> 00:12:14,689 Mm-hmm. 259 00:12:22,132 --> 00:12:25,700 [beep] This is Ashley Jones. Leave a message. 260 00:12:25,788 --> 00:12:27,311 Ashley, you've got to let me know 261 00:12:27,398 --> 00:12:28,878 about this Mayor thing tomorrow. 262 00:12:28,965 --> 00:12:30,575 You're my rock star. 263 00:12:30,662 --> 00:12:33,578 Let's try it again. Now repeat after me. 264 00:12:33,665 --> 00:12:35,623 Greedy goats gobbled up gooseberries 265 00:12:35,710 --> 00:12:37,756 getting good at grabbing the goodies. 266 00:12:39,976 --> 00:12:42,065 -Ashley? -I'm trying. 267 00:12:43,936 --> 00:12:45,416 Okay, well. 268 00:12:48,201 --> 00:12:50,421 Here's something you might want to try. 269 00:12:50,508 --> 00:12:52,640 It's a little different. 270 00:12:54,251 --> 00:12:55,730 Different? 271 00:13:00,431 --> 00:13:01,824 [German accent] It vas the fourth of July 272 00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:05,436 seven years ago. 273 00:13:07,394 --> 00:13:12,747 Ve vere sitting on ze dock of ze Marina eating a pizza, 274 00:13:12,835 --> 00:13:15,054 ven suddenly I hear this frightening cry... 275 00:13:16,795 --> 00:13:19,058 I look and I see a child sinking. 276 00:13:20,407 --> 00:13:22,801 I'm sinking... I have to help. 277 00:13:22,888 --> 00:13:25,499 Vell, I jumped right in ze water 278 00:13:25,586 --> 00:13:27,675 and just as I pushed her to safety 279 00:13:30,243 --> 00:13:31,854 I was run over by a boat. 280 00:13:33,290 --> 00:13:35,553 I drowned. 281 00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:38,904 And I woke up speaking something like zis. 282 00:13:38,991 --> 00:13:41,385 I have seen some dark days since then. 283 00:13:41,472 --> 00:13:43,169 But I want everybody of you 284 00:13:43,256 --> 00:13:45,476 to know how much I appreciate you. 285 00:13:45,563 --> 00:13:47,826 Zis is ze best turnout yet 286 00:13:47,913 --> 00:13:51,047 for our foreign accent syndrome support group. 287 00:13:52,048 --> 00:13:54,050 [applauding] 288 00:13:58,184 --> 00:13:59,098 Hi. 289 00:14:00,621 --> 00:14:02,797 [French accent] I'm Guy. 290 00:14:02,885 --> 00:14:05,409 I kind of ran the streets my whole life with a rock group. 291 00:14:06,932 --> 00:14:12,068 And it kind of gives me my identity, you know? 292 00:14:12,155 --> 00:14:14,244 One day zat all went away. 293 00:14:14,331 --> 00:14:16,986 We were about to do our biggest iced [indistinct] 294 00:14:17,073 --> 00:14:19,466 and then sleep in ze [indistinct] at morning. 295 00:14:19,553 --> 00:14:22,382 Woke up in the hospital with his accent. 296 00:14:24,558 --> 00:14:27,953 And my gang, zey kicked me out. 297 00:14:29,694 --> 00:14:31,478 Zey say I wasn't hard no more. 298 00:14:34,742 --> 00:14:36,875 Oh, ja, it is perfectly normal for us 299 00:14:36,962 --> 00:14:39,008 to feel like vee no longer fit in. 300 00:14:39,095 --> 00:14:40,835 Senk you, brother. 301 00:14:40,923 --> 00:14:42,794 [door opens] 302 00:14:42,881 --> 00:14:44,578 [British accent] Hello, hello, hello gents. 303 00:14:44,665 --> 00:14:46,363 Sorry for the tardiness 304 00:14:46,450 --> 00:14:48,452 but money never sleeps, you know. 305 00:14:48,539 --> 00:14:51,150 Okay, as you all know, way before this 306 00:14:51,237 --> 00:14:53,587 I was a lowly construction worker. 307 00:14:53,674 --> 00:14:55,198 I didn't even know 308 00:14:55,285 --> 00:14:57,374 what foreign accent syndrome was. 309 00:14:57,461 --> 00:14:58,897 I mean, who would have thought 310 00:14:58,984 --> 00:15:00,594 that the hit on the head with a sledgehammer 311 00:15:00,681 --> 00:15:02,945 would have endowed me with a charismatic accent 312 00:15:03,032 --> 00:15:06,557 and a fabulous way of life as an entrepreneur. 313 00:15:06,644 --> 00:15:09,516 Let that be a lesson to you. Don't wear a helmet. 314 00:15:09,603 --> 00:15:11,083 It's "antapreneure". 315 00:15:11,170 --> 00:15:12,867 Okay, all right. 316 00:15:12,955 --> 00:15:15,261 Everybody good, are they? How's the family? 317 00:15:15,348 --> 00:15:18,221 -They stopped talking to me. -Well, you can't win them all. 318 00:15:18,308 --> 00:15:21,180 Well, you can't win them all. I can. 319 00:15:21,267 --> 00:15:25,054 Wait a minute. I think we have a new face with us today. 320 00:15:25,141 --> 00:15:26,751 What's your name, darling? 321 00:15:26,838 --> 00:15:29,493 Hello. My name is Ashley. 322 00:15:29,580 --> 00:15:31,843 Oh, a Japanese accent. 323 00:15:31,930 --> 00:15:33,714 That's good. 324 00:15:33,801 --> 00:15:35,020 [chuckles] Why? 325 00:15:35,107 --> 00:15:36,761 Vell, it makes sense. 326 00:15:38,458 --> 00:15:39,546 How? 327 00:15:46,118 --> 00:15:48,555 So, tell us about yourself. 328 00:15:48,642 --> 00:15:51,776 I want to learn more about foreign accent syndrome. 329 00:15:51,863 --> 00:15:54,561 You came to the right place. We're all friends here. 330 00:15:54,648 --> 00:15:58,435 Good, because I just woke up and spoke this way. 331 00:15:58,522 --> 00:16:00,567 You know, it's very confusing. 332 00:16:02,874 --> 00:16:05,137 So how did you hurt your head, ma cherie? 333 00:16:06,356 --> 00:16:08,227 I never hurt my head. 334 00:16:08,314 --> 00:16:10,577 It vazen't a stroke? What? Did you drown? 335 00:16:10,664 --> 00:16:11,970 No. 336 00:16:13,058 --> 00:16:14,668 Let me get this straight, love. 337 00:16:14,755 --> 00:16:16,540 You never hit your head? 338 00:16:17,323 --> 00:16:18,542 No. 339 00:16:23,242 --> 00:16:24,939 Becky's beagles barked and-- 340 00:16:25,027 --> 00:16:27,594 Is this ever going to get easier? 341 00:16:27,681 --> 00:16:29,335 Of course, you were doing great. 342 00:16:30,249 --> 00:16:31,685 Really? 343 00:16:31,772 --> 00:16:33,122 Yeah. 344 00:16:33,208 --> 00:16:37,126 And even if nothing ever comes from the therapy, 345 00:16:37,213 --> 00:16:38,910 you don't have to worry. 346 00:16:38,997 --> 00:16:40,042 No? 347 00:16:41,608 --> 00:16:44,394 No. Maybe it all kind of makes sense. 348 00:16:46,439 --> 00:16:49,225 How? How does it make sense for me, for anybody else, 349 00:16:49,312 --> 00:16:51,183 to go to sleep one night 350 00:16:51,270 --> 00:16:53,229 and wake up the next morning with Japanese accent, 351 00:16:53,316 --> 00:16:55,013 or any other accent? 352 00:16:55,100 --> 00:16:58,408 How does it make sense at all? 353 00:16:58,495 --> 00:17:02,803 No, I guess it just doesn't make any sense at all. 354 00:17:02,890 --> 00:17:04,675 But it seems like it should. 355 00:17:04,762 --> 00:17:06,590 That sucks. 356 00:17:06,677 --> 00:17:09,071 [man] Can't you see that this is getting you nowhere? 357 00:17:09,158 --> 00:17:11,899 That you'll have to tell the truth eventually? 358 00:17:11,986 --> 00:17:13,553 Your turn, captain. 359 00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:15,641 Now listen, Jim. 360 00:17:15,728 --> 00:17:17,905 You know who killed Patrick and Taylor. 361 00:17:17,992 --> 00:17:19,342 But what's more important 362 00:17:19,429 --> 00:17:21,083 is you know who ended up with the golden leopard. 363 00:17:25,217 --> 00:17:26,349 You're home. 364 00:17:26,436 --> 00:17:27,828 Mm-hmm. 365 00:17:27,915 --> 00:17:29,482 How are you? 366 00:17:29,569 --> 00:17:31,223 Is everything okay? 367 00:17:31,310 --> 00:17:33,443 Is everything perfectly normal? 368 00:17:33,530 --> 00:17:35,488 [coughing] 369 00:17:44,932 --> 00:17:46,891 How about at work? 370 00:17:46,978 --> 00:17:49,241 Is everything good there? 371 00:17:49,328 --> 00:17:50,677 Everything normal? 372 00:17:51,765 --> 00:17:53,027 Hmm-hmm. 373 00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:59,512 Stan asked about you. 374 00:17:59,599 --> 00:18:02,472 He said that he wanted to say hello. 375 00:18:02,559 --> 00:18:04,517 [giggling] 376 00:18:04,604 --> 00:18:07,868 -You remember Stan, right? -Mm-hmm. 377 00:18:07,955 --> 00:18:09,479 Yeah, yeah. You had that really good conversation 378 00:18:09,566 --> 00:18:10,828 about the weather. 379 00:18:12,656 --> 00:18:15,006 Anyway, he said 380 00:18:15,093 --> 00:18:17,922 that he didn't see you on TV much this week. 381 00:18:18,009 --> 00:18:19,445 Isn't that weird? 382 00:18:20,403 --> 00:18:21,665 Hmm. 383 00:18:23,536 --> 00:18:25,843 Do you think that maybe 384 00:18:25,930 --> 00:18:28,237 he's just tuning in at the wrong time? 385 00:18:28,324 --> 00:18:29,977 Do you think that's it? 386 00:18:30,064 --> 00:18:32,241 Because I would be surprised 387 00:18:32,328 --> 00:18:34,373 if he was always tuned in at the right time 388 00:18:34,460 --> 00:18:36,723 and suddenly he is tuned in at the wrong time. 389 00:18:36,810 --> 00:18:38,769 Wouldn't you? 390 00:18:38,856 --> 00:18:39,900 [chuckles] 391 00:18:41,772 --> 00:18:45,819 Anyway... I just wanted to let you know 392 00:18:45,906 --> 00:18:48,561 that I'm really excited to watch your interview with the Mayor. 393 00:18:59,616 --> 00:19:01,444 Are you sure you don't want to say anything? 394 00:19:05,839 --> 00:19:06,927 Uh-uh. [chuckles] 395 00:19:10,017 --> 00:19:11,105 Okay. 396 00:19:13,064 --> 00:19:14,457 Have a good night. 397 00:19:28,601 --> 00:19:30,081 [sighs] 398 00:19:31,735 --> 00:19:34,216 My name is Ashley Jones. 399 00:19:37,915 --> 00:19:41,005 My name is Ashley Jones. 400 00:19:44,138 --> 00:19:47,229 My name is Ashley Jones. 401 00:19:53,539 --> 00:19:56,368 Did anyone follow up on the 500 year old woman 402 00:19:56,455 --> 00:19:58,240 who... there she is. 403 00:20:00,981 --> 00:20:02,809 [Bruce] Great to have you back. 404 00:20:02,896 --> 00:20:05,377 Everything's on the cue cards. You know what to do. 405 00:20:05,464 --> 00:20:07,684 [woman] Five, four, three... 406 00:20:10,469 --> 00:20:12,950 ACTIONS NEWS LIVE 407 00:20:13,037 --> 00:20:14,430 ACTION NEWS THREE CONTROVERSY: 408 00:20:14,517 --> 00:20:16,040 MAYOR TO REVIEW FATEFUL DECISION 409 00:20:25,745 --> 00:20:27,704 The cards. 410 00:20:27,791 --> 00:20:29,271 Just read the cards. 411 00:20:34,450 --> 00:20:36,495 So, about the tree... 412 00:20:39,455 --> 00:20:40,804 Think of the ratings. 413 00:20:43,502 --> 00:20:45,417 [dramatic music playing] 414 00:20:49,639 --> 00:20:50,466 [inhales] 415 00:20:50,553 --> 00:20:51,815 [sustained beep] 416 00:20:51,902 --> 00:20:53,556 ACTION NEWS SORRY FOR THE INTERRUPTION 417 00:20:56,167 --> 00:20:58,430 Are you sure you didn't hit your head? 418 00:21:00,127 --> 00:21:01,477 Yeah. 419 00:21:03,827 --> 00:21:05,524 I understand. 420 00:21:05,611 --> 00:21:07,874 There's never a good time for this. 421 00:21:11,661 --> 00:21:15,186 But we have to think about the ratings. 422 00:21:17,362 --> 00:21:20,104 Tiffany will take your place for now. 423 00:21:20,191 --> 00:21:23,063 If there's anything else that opens up... 424 00:21:23,150 --> 00:21:25,544 off camera maybe 425 00:21:25,631 --> 00:21:27,198 I can let you know. 426 00:21:27,285 --> 00:21:28,330 Okay? 427 00:21:39,776 --> 00:21:42,039 Say hello to Dr. Cunningham for me. 428 00:21:48,393 --> 00:21:50,352 [crickets chirping] 429 00:22:00,144 --> 00:22:01,537 Larry. 430 00:22:03,539 --> 00:22:04,801 I'll be out of here very soon. 431 00:22:06,759 --> 00:22:08,631 Want to go dinner and talk about it? 432 00:22:16,943 --> 00:22:18,902 I'm sorry, please don't be mad. 433 00:22:20,991 --> 00:22:22,296 I'm not mad. 434 00:22:24,081 --> 00:22:25,604 Not anymore. 435 00:22:28,912 --> 00:22:31,349 Am I disappointed? Yeah. 436 00:22:33,873 --> 00:22:36,963 We had such a beautifully normal thing together. 437 00:22:37,050 --> 00:22:38,443 Now... 438 00:22:40,445 --> 00:22:42,926 I don't know. 439 00:22:43,013 --> 00:22:45,319 I mean, look at you, you're just so... 440 00:22:54,981 --> 00:22:57,984 You're not the same woman I fell in love with anymore. 441 00:22:58,071 --> 00:22:59,290 Sorry. 442 00:23:03,468 --> 00:23:05,470 Larry, wait. 443 00:23:08,647 --> 00:23:11,607 I never intended to hurt you. 444 00:23:13,783 --> 00:23:15,175 Look at me. 445 00:23:16,655 --> 00:23:19,136 I'm the same Ashley I always was. 446 00:23:21,399 --> 00:23:24,228 And I know our love is strong enough 447 00:23:24,315 --> 00:23:26,491 to overcome no matter what obstacle. 448 00:23:28,972 --> 00:23:30,321 Ashley... 449 00:23:31,801 --> 00:23:34,804 I'm sorry... what did you say? 450 00:23:36,849 --> 00:23:39,373 I said no matter what obstacle. 451 00:23:41,419 --> 00:23:42,812 What is it? 452 00:23:48,818 --> 00:23:50,080 Nevermind. 453 00:23:50,167 --> 00:23:51,777 Oh, obstacle. 454 00:23:53,866 --> 00:23:55,346 No matter the obstacle. 455 00:23:58,871 --> 00:24:00,482 It was a beautiful thing, so... 456 00:24:04,181 --> 00:24:05,704 Here... 457 00:24:08,838 --> 00:24:10,840 keep this. 458 00:24:10,927 --> 00:24:12,537 I think you need it more than I do? 459 00:24:25,811 --> 00:24:28,422 Yes, life was hard for Ashley. 460 00:24:28,510 --> 00:24:29,902 Our heartsick heroine 461 00:24:29,989 --> 00:24:32,775 pined in solitude for her lost love. 462 00:24:32,862 --> 00:24:36,126 Days turned into months, months turned into years. 463 00:24:36,213 --> 00:24:38,998 And all she could do was remember. 464 00:24:40,913 --> 00:24:43,568 [choir music playing] 465 00:24:46,223 --> 00:24:47,790 Through the long years, 466 00:24:47,877 --> 00:24:50,836 she hid herself away from the cold, cruel world. 467 00:24:50,923 --> 00:24:54,231 Her only companions misery and loneliness 468 00:24:54,318 --> 00:24:55,972 and her children. 469 00:24:59,541 --> 00:25:02,674 My babies. 470 00:25:02,761 --> 00:25:04,154 [baby coos] 471 00:25:18,472 --> 00:25:21,650 Ashley had become a prisoner in her own world. 472 00:25:25,262 --> 00:25:27,220 You suck. 473 00:25:34,140 --> 00:25:37,666 Abandoned by mankind and forgotten by the world, 474 00:25:37,753 --> 00:25:40,494 she eventually forgot how to speak altogether. 475 00:25:46,588 --> 00:25:48,720 She desperately longed to forget the spurning 476 00:25:48,807 --> 00:25:51,201 of her beguiling lost love... 477 00:25:51,288 --> 00:25:52,768 Larry. 478 00:25:55,161 --> 00:25:58,121 But instead, she could only console herself 479 00:25:58,208 --> 00:26:01,515 with longing for the moment his pain would finally end. 480 00:26:03,953 --> 00:26:05,607 Just a few more breaths. 481 00:26:05,694 --> 00:26:07,304 [breathing softly] 482 00:26:07,391 --> 00:26:08,610 Almost. 483 00:26:10,176 --> 00:26:12,352 But first she had to ignore Tiffany's phone call. 484 00:26:12,439 --> 00:26:13,832 [phone ringing] 485 00:26:21,231 --> 00:26:23,189 -Leave me alone, Tiffany. -Hold on, Evie. 486 00:26:23,276 --> 00:26:25,148 Maybe we're just not listening. None of you are. 487 00:26:25,235 --> 00:26:26,323 GOOD GENES: 488 00:26:28,499 --> 00:26:28,934 LOCAL WOMAN CELEBRATES 500.000 BIRTHDAY 489 00:26:29,021 --> 00:26:30,109 Uh-- 490 00:26:30,196 --> 00:26:32,634 [dramatic music playing] 491 00:26:33,809 --> 00:26:34,853 No. 492 00:26:36,246 --> 00:26:37,639 [sighs] 493 00:26:39,292 --> 00:26:41,338 [dialing] 494 00:26:43,514 --> 00:26:45,298 [phone ringing] 495 00:26:45,385 --> 00:26:48,301 [man] Spaghetteria. What would you like to order? 496 00:26:48,388 --> 00:26:49,520 [collage of voices] Hello... 497 00:26:49,607 --> 00:26:52,654 I just want to... order... spaghetti... 498 00:26:52,741 --> 00:26:54,568 with marinara sauce. 499 00:26:55,700 --> 00:26:57,267 You want meatballs with that? 500 00:26:57,354 --> 00:27:00,618 No... are you... crazy? 501 00:27:01,750 --> 00:27:04,535 All right. What's the address? 502 00:27:04,622 --> 00:27:06,406 [recorder clicks and rewinds] 503 00:27:06,493 --> 00:27:09,366 14 maple... drive. 504 00:27:09,453 --> 00:27:12,499 It's 12,99. Should take about 30 minutes. 505 00:27:12,586 --> 00:27:14,676 [female voice] Thank you. 506 00:27:14,763 --> 00:27:16,068 Goodbye. 507 00:27:16,155 --> 00:27:17,113 [clicks] 508 00:27:18,114 --> 00:27:19,506 [knocking on door] 509 00:27:25,338 --> 00:27:26,731 Larry? 510 00:27:26,818 --> 00:27:30,517 Oh... oh, my dear sweet Ashley. 511 00:27:30,604 --> 00:27:34,434 I bet you look just as beautiful as the day we met. 512 00:27:34,521 --> 00:27:38,438 But, alas, I'll never know. 513 00:27:38,525 --> 00:27:40,049 Oh, Larry, what happened to you? 514 00:27:40,136 --> 00:27:42,791 It just came on so suddenly. 515 00:27:42,878 --> 00:27:44,923 The doctors have no idea what happened. 516 00:27:45,010 --> 00:27:46,882 And there's nothing they can do. 517 00:27:46,969 --> 00:27:49,145 I just, I needed to hold you one last time 518 00:27:49,232 --> 00:27:52,757 before the paralysis moves up to my arms. 519 00:27:52,844 --> 00:27:55,847 I'm not perfectly normal. 520 00:27:55,934 --> 00:27:57,719 Ashley, do you really think 521 00:27:57,806 --> 00:27:59,416 that I could stay away from you 522 00:27:59,503 --> 00:28:01,635 just because you're... different? 523 00:28:01,723 --> 00:28:05,988 -Larry, I'm really-- -Don't worry. I'll be fine. 524 00:28:06,075 --> 00:28:09,339 Just as long as I can hold you one last time in my arms. 525 00:28:09,426 --> 00:28:14,648 No, Larry, I'm really sorry. But you are too late. 526 00:28:14,736 --> 00:28:17,303 You're not the man I fell in love with any more. 527 00:28:17,390 --> 00:28:19,523 Come on, babe. The water is getting cold. 528 00:28:19,610 --> 00:28:21,960 You got it, stud. 529 00:28:22,047 --> 00:28:25,007 -Oh, who's this little guy? -He's nobody. 530 00:28:25,094 --> 00:28:27,009 He's not giving you problems. Is he babe? 531 00:28:27,096 --> 00:28:29,141 No, he's not bothering me. 532 00:28:29,228 --> 00:28:31,317 He doesn't mean anything to me at all. 533 00:28:31,404 --> 00:28:33,972 But, Ashley, oh-- 534 00:28:34,059 --> 00:28:36,845 [laughs hysterically] 535 00:28:38,063 --> 00:28:39,456 [laughing] 536 00:28:41,414 --> 00:28:43,112 [crying] Ashley! 537 00:28:47,116 --> 00:28:52,425 [phone ringing] 538 00:28:53,818 --> 00:28:55,211 Ashley. 539 00:28:58,823 --> 00:29:01,347 [ringing coming from her mouth] 540 00:29:23,195 --> 00:29:25,415 THANK YOU 541 00:29:28,679 --> 00:29:30,072 Do you need any change? 542 00:29:33,162 --> 00:29:34,641 [knocking] 543 00:29:35,425 --> 00:29:37,079 Hello. 544 00:29:43,781 --> 00:29:45,783 Sorry, I kind of need you to tell me. 545 00:29:48,003 --> 00:29:49,787 [normal accent] No, you can keep the change. 546 00:29:55,184 --> 00:29:56,533 Keep the change. 547 00:29:58,883 --> 00:30:00,102 Thank you. 548 00:30:05,542 --> 00:30:08,414 My name is Ashley Jones. 549 00:30:13,202 --> 00:30:15,204 My name is Ashley Jones. 550 00:30:15,291 --> 00:30:17,206 [cheering and applauding] 551 00:30:19,295 --> 00:30:21,210 [crying] 552 00:30:21,297 --> 00:30:24,343 Joke! Joke! Joke! Joke! 553 00:30:24,430 --> 00:30:25,954 Well... 554 00:30:27,564 --> 00:30:29,087 Just one. 555 00:30:31,524 --> 00:30:32,786 Knock, knock. 556 00:30:32,874 --> 00:30:35,311 [laughing and applauding] 557 00:31:00,031 --> 00:31:01,163 [knocking on door] 558 00:31:03,687 --> 00:31:06,081 -Who's there? -Tiffany. 559 00:31:06,168 --> 00:31:08,083 -Tiffany who? -Oh my God. Funny. 560 00:31:12,304 --> 00:31:14,611 Put your shoes on. Let's go. 561 00:31:14,698 --> 00:31:17,353 -Where? -To the party. Remember? 562 00:31:17,440 --> 00:31:20,573 -Big tree fundraiser? -Oh, I'm busy tonight. 563 00:31:20,660 --> 00:31:22,488 You expect me to believe that? 564 00:31:24,099 --> 00:31:27,276 I can go. I'm sick. 565 00:31:29,452 --> 00:31:30,888 What kind of sick? 566 00:31:30,975 --> 00:31:33,673 Uh, I throw up. 567 00:31:33,760 --> 00:31:35,414 You're going to throw up? 568 00:31:36,502 --> 00:31:38,461 -Yes. -Okay. 569 00:31:41,116 --> 00:31:42,160 I'll wait. 570 00:31:48,601 --> 00:31:50,908 -I'm much better now. -Oh, good. 571 00:31:52,562 --> 00:31:53,780 Want some gum? 572 00:31:55,043 --> 00:31:56,174 Sure. 573 00:31:59,003 --> 00:32:00,744 How about this dress? Do you like it? 574 00:32:03,399 --> 00:32:05,923 Everybody's gonna be there. You want to look good, right? 575 00:32:07,490 --> 00:32:09,057 I don't care. 576 00:32:09,144 --> 00:32:11,276 Ooh, I look good in this one. 577 00:32:13,061 --> 00:32:14,497 Yeah, Dwayne will love it. 578 00:32:16,934 --> 00:32:18,327 This sucks. 579 00:32:18,414 --> 00:32:20,329 If something bad had to happen to me, 580 00:32:20,416 --> 00:32:22,200 why couldn't it be some good bad thing 581 00:32:22,287 --> 00:32:23,636 that's obvious 582 00:32:23,723 --> 00:32:25,725 so everybody feels sorry for me. 583 00:32:25,812 --> 00:32:29,077 But this, this just confuses people. 584 00:32:29,164 --> 00:32:30,600 Because seems like it should make sense, 585 00:32:30,687 --> 00:32:31,993 but it doesn't. 586 00:32:34,473 --> 00:32:40,218 Look. I understand why you're upset, okay? 587 00:32:40,305 --> 00:32:42,612 Because your life isn't perfectly normal anymore. 588 00:32:43,874 --> 00:32:45,267 I don't like it either. 589 00:32:46,398 --> 00:32:47,660 I don't like it at all. 590 00:32:50,359 --> 00:32:53,014 But we're gonna fix you. 591 00:32:53,101 --> 00:32:54,537 And we'll start by getting you a new Larry. 592 00:32:56,495 --> 00:32:58,976 And then your life will be perfectly normal again. 593 00:32:59,063 --> 00:33:00,543 And we'll all be comfortable. 594 00:33:01,848 --> 00:33:03,589 Well, it doesn't go back to normal. 595 00:33:07,245 --> 00:33:09,160 Tiffany was shocked to realize 596 00:33:09,247 --> 00:33:11,858 that she had never considered this possibility. 597 00:33:11,945 --> 00:33:13,730 She was equally shocked to realize 598 00:33:13,817 --> 00:33:16,211 that Ashley might no longer be the friend she used to know. 599 00:33:16,298 --> 00:33:19,083 And Ashley was shocked to realize 600 00:33:19,170 --> 00:33:21,390 what Tiffany had just realized. 601 00:33:23,261 --> 00:33:24,958 Let's go to the party. 602 00:33:25,046 --> 00:33:27,613 [chuckles] Okay, awesome. 603 00:33:27,700 --> 00:33:30,225 Oh, and you have to get ten phone numbers 604 00:33:30,312 --> 00:33:31,530 by the end of the night. 605 00:33:31,617 --> 00:33:34,011 -Ten? How about three? -Five. 606 00:33:34,098 --> 00:33:35,665 Five. I don't know. 607 00:33:35,752 --> 00:33:37,841 I'm not confident enough to get five numbers. 608 00:33:37,928 --> 00:33:40,670 Then, just pretend you are. That's what life's all about. 609 00:33:40,757 --> 00:33:42,889 -Pretending? -Yes. 610 00:33:42,976 --> 00:33:44,935 Pretending to be what? 611 00:33:48,286 --> 00:33:50,375 Whatever anybody wants you to be. 612 00:33:53,204 --> 00:33:56,120 So you get five numbers and I'll go find Dwayne. 613 00:33:57,730 --> 00:33:59,645 Don't worry. I'll be by your side the whole time. 614 00:33:59,732 --> 00:34:01,212 -[girl] Oh, Dwayne. -[girl #2] Hey, Dwayne. 615 00:34:01,299 --> 00:34:03,910 -Oh, I gotta go. -I'll come with you. 616 00:34:03,997 --> 00:34:06,565 No, stay here. Get some numbers. 617 00:34:06,652 --> 00:34:08,480 [cater] There you go. On the rocks for you. 618 00:34:08,567 --> 00:34:09,960 Oh, thank you sir. 619 00:34:10,047 --> 00:34:11,874 Martini no olives coming right up. 620 00:34:21,144 --> 00:34:22,755 Hey, give me your number. 621 00:34:24,844 --> 00:34:26,106 Right on. 622 00:34:32,896 --> 00:34:33,983 [chuckles] 623 00:34:35,942 --> 00:34:37,943 So, what made you come over here and talk to me? 624 00:34:38,030 --> 00:34:39,858 And just like that, 625 00:34:39,945 --> 00:34:42,557 Ashley realized she owned this place. 626 00:34:43,994 --> 00:34:46,561 The party, not the house. 627 00:34:46,649 --> 00:34:48,825 She owned a different house. 628 00:34:48,912 --> 00:34:50,914 -Hey, gave me your number. -What? 629 00:34:51,001 --> 00:34:53,742 -My phone number? -Yeah, your number right now. 630 00:34:53,829 --> 00:34:55,396 What do you... What are you talking about? 631 00:34:58,922 --> 00:35:00,228 Who's Dave? 632 00:35:00,315 --> 00:35:01,446 [toilet flushing] 633 00:35:01,533 --> 00:35:02,839 Oh, give me the number. 634 00:35:02,926 --> 00:35:05,363 Oh, whoa, whoa. She is with me, bro. 635 00:35:05,450 --> 00:35:07,409 Wait... What? 636 00:35:07,496 --> 00:35:09,628 Give me your number. I want your number, please. 637 00:35:10,977 --> 00:35:12,196 Okay. 638 00:35:12,283 --> 00:35:13,632 Wait, why are you asking him for his number? 639 00:35:15,591 --> 00:35:17,462 I have lots of phone calls to make. 640 00:35:17,549 --> 00:35:18,985 Well, give me back my number. 641 00:35:20,335 --> 00:35:22,337 Look, I'll be perfectly honest with you. 642 00:35:22,424 --> 00:35:24,339 I'm trying to get five numbers. 643 00:35:24,426 --> 00:35:27,124 You're trying to get five numbers? 644 00:35:27,211 --> 00:35:28,908 Yeah, I have to. 645 00:35:28,995 --> 00:35:30,954 Well, then I'm not giving you mine. 646 00:35:31,041 --> 00:35:32,695 What? You're not giving her your number? 647 00:35:32,782 --> 00:35:33,957 No. 648 00:35:35,350 --> 00:35:36,873 All right, you can take my number back. 649 00:35:36,960 --> 00:35:39,702 Okay, it was nice meeting you. Both. 650 00:35:42,705 --> 00:35:45,577 I love your accent. I drive a Honda. 651 00:35:45,664 --> 00:35:47,231 You go get us some food, okay? 652 00:35:47,318 --> 00:35:50,103 Okay... meatballs. 653 00:35:50,191 --> 00:35:52,149 -Surprise me. -Right on. 654 00:36:08,078 --> 00:36:09,384 Hey, give me your number. 655 00:36:11,124 --> 00:36:12,169 Ashley. 656 00:36:13,170 --> 00:36:14,737 -Larry. -Hey. 657 00:36:14,824 --> 00:36:16,217 Hi. 658 00:36:17,740 --> 00:36:19,307 Tenderloin? 659 00:36:19,394 --> 00:36:20,656 Yeah. 660 00:36:20,743 --> 00:36:22,614 But it's too rare, though. 661 00:36:22,701 --> 00:36:25,051 Oh, too bad. 662 00:36:25,138 --> 00:36:26,357 Yeah. 663 00:36:27,097 --> 00:36:28,751 I know. 664 00:36:29,795 --> 00:36:32,537 So, is there anything new? 665 00:36:33,799 --> 00:36:36,106 -Nothing. -Oh. 666 00:36:36,193 --> 00:36:38,151 You? 667 00:36:38,239 --> 00:36:40,719 -I just wanted to say that-- -Hey. 668 00:36:40,806 --> 00:36:42,939 You know, I saw they have another round of steak out. 669 00:36:43,026 --> 00:36:45,594 I'll be right back. 670 00:36:47,073 --> 00:36:48,553 [whispering] Here you go. 671 00:36:48,640 --> 00:36:49,728 Where did you say that-- 672 00:36:51,295 --> 00:36:53,297 I don't want your number. 673 00:36:53,384 --> 00:36:54,820 What is your problem, lady? 674 00:36:56,561 --> 00:36:59,216 I don't even know this guy. But anyway, did you-- 675 00:36:59,303 --> 00:37:00,957 It's a very normal party. 676 00:37:01,044 --> 00:37:03,655 -Perfectly normal. -You think so? 677 00:37:03,742 --> 00:37:05,396 Yeah, I love it. 678 00:37:07,006 --> 00:37:09,661 Yeah, yeah, me too. 679 00:37:09,748 --> 00:37:11,576 I'm Larry. 680 00:37:11,663 --> 00:37:13,926 -Hi, I'm Emily. -Emily! 681 00:37:14,013 --> 00:37:16,407 That's a perfectly normal name. 682 00:37:16,494 --> 00:37:18,931 Thanks. It's the most common woman's name in America. 683 00:37:19,018 --> 00:37:21,282 -Really? -Wait, Larry... 684 00:37:21,369 --> 00:37:23,762 Were you saying to me? 685 00:37:23,849 --> 00:37:26,635 Uh, I don't... I-- 686 00:37:26,722 --> 00:37:28,811 Can I get you anything? 687 00:37:28,898 --> 00:37:31,379 Thanks, but I already got a plate for myself. 688 00:37:31,466 --> 00:37:33,032 Oh, my. 689 00:37:33,119 --> 00:37:34,730 So, they didn't have any meatballs. 690 00:37:34,817 --> 00:37:36,993 [dramatic music playing] 691 00:37:37,080 --> 00:37:39,604 This is my fiancé. 692 00:37:39,691 --> 00:37:41,127 Right on. 693 00:37:45,349 --> 00:37:48,265 -Fiancé? -Yeah, you wait in here. 694 00:37:48,352 --> 00:37:50,398 I have another big surprise for you, okay? 695 00:37:50,485 --> 00:37:53,183 Wait, this is a coat closet. Wait-- okay. 696 00:37:53,270 --> 00:37:54,445 [sighs] 697 00:37:54,532 --> 00:37:56,404 Hey, give me your number. 698 00:37:56,491 --> 00:37:57,927 Are you serious? 699 00:37:59,189 --> 00:38:02,061 Serious. You're very hot. 700 00:38:02,148 --> 00:38:04,412 Well, I can't argue with that. 701 00:38:05,978 --> 00:38:07,589 So, you're Japanese? 702 00:38:07,676 --> 00:38:09,591 You're here with all the Kobayashi people? 703 00:38:09,678 --> 00:38:11,897 No, I'm not Japanese. I'm from Allentown. 704 00:38:20,863 --> 00:38:23,039 I have a fiancé. 705 00:38:23,126 --> 00:38:24,649 What the crap? [scoffs] 706 00:38:34,703 --> 00:38:36,487 [Dwayne] Hey, Jen, you're looking good. 707 00:38:39,011 --> 00:38:42,319 Hey... I haven't met you yet. 708 00:38:42,406 --> 00:38:44,016 Yeah, yeah. 709 00:38:45,322 --> 00:38:46,932 -How do you like the party? 710 00:38:47,019 --> 00:38:48,543 -This party sucks. 711 00:38:48,630 --> 00:38:50,066 What? 712 00:38:52,416 --> 00:38:54,636 Where are you from? 713 00:38:54,723 --> 00:38:56,681 Japan. Now leave me a-- 714 00:38:56,768 --> 00:38:59,031 [music playing] 715 00:38:59,118 --> 00:39:00,250 Awesome. 716 00:39:00,816 --> 00:39:02,034 Wow. 717 00:39:03,601 --> 00:39:04,994 What city are you from? 718 00:39:05,081 --> 00:39:06,691 I don't know. 719 00:39:06,778 --> 00:39:07,779 Saigon? 720 00:39:09,041 --> 00:39:10,216 Niihau. 721 00:39:11,522 --> 00:39:12,958 Here, allow me. 722 00:39:15,265 --> 00:39:16,658 Let me show you something. 723 00:39:19,225 --> 00:39:21,402 [crickets chirping] 724 00:39:21,489 --> 00:39:23,142 Ashley gazed up at the stars 725 00:39:23,229 --> 00:39:25,014 and realized she was glad 726 00:39:25,101 --> 00:39:26,755 that Tiffany had dragged her here. 727 00:39:26,842 --> 00:39:28,974 Maybe life wasn't so hopeless after all. 728 00:39:29,061 --> 00:39:30,889 [birds chirping] 729 00:39:30,976 --> 00:39:32,021 You're different. 730 00:39:34,676 --> 00:39:36,199 I'm not different. 731 00:39:36,286 --> 00:39:37,983 Yes, you are. 732 00:39:39,289 --> 00:39:40,551 But I like that about you. 733 00:39:41,944 --> 00:39:43,467 [laughs] Oh. 734 00:39:45,121 --> 00:39:46,514 I'm Ashley. 735 00:39:46,601 --> 00:39:47,689 Dwayne. 736 00:39:49,342 --> 00:39:51,519 -Wait, your name is Dwayne? -Yeah. 737 00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:56,219 What? 738 00:39:56,306 --> 00:39:58,569 I gotta go. It's an emergency. 739 00:39:58,656 --> 00:40:00,963 Oh, of course, yeah. Down the hall on the right. 740 00:40:05,707 --> 00:40:07,796 Aren't you glad I dragged you here? 741 00:40:07,883 --> 00:40:10,276 Maybe life isn't so hopeless after all. 742 00:40:10,363 --> 00:40:11,452 Tiffany, I need to talk to you know. 743 00:40:11,539 --> 00:40:13,410 No, I need you to help me find Dwayne. 744 00:40:15,586 --> 00:40:17,022 You have something on your face. 745 00:40:17,109 --> 00:40:18,546 Huh? 746 00:40:18,633 --> 00:40:20,156 You freshen up. I look downstairs. 747 00:40:20,243 --> 00:40:21,505 You're the best. 748 00:40:25,944 --> 00:40:29,208 Ashley was being pulled in too many directions at once. 749 00:40:29,295 --> 00:40:31,210 Larry had her heart. 750 00:40:31,297 --> 00:40:34,562 But Dwayne had, hmm, other qualities. 751 00:40:34,649 --> 00:40:37,347 Still, Tiffany should have her loyalty. 752 00:40:37,434 --> 00:40:38,870 Ashley realized that she needed to-- 753 00:40:38,957 --> 00:40:41,656 Hey, Ashley, I'm glad you're here. 754 00:40:41,743 --> 00:40:43,309 I might have a big opportunity for you. 755 00:40:43,396 --> 00:40:45,181 The interview that you did 756 00:40:45,268 --> 00:40:47,923 with the 50,000 year old woman was a big hit. 757 00:40:48,010 --> 00:40:49,402 Five hundred thousand. 758 00:40:49,490 --> 00:40:50,708 Right. 759 00:40:50,795 --> 00:40:53,145 We want to get her back. But we can't find her. 760 00:40:53,232 --> 00:40:55,321 If you could track her down 761 00:40:55,408 --> 00:40:57,759 I might be able to bring you back. 762 00:40:57,846 --> 00:40:59,543 To my old job? 763 00:40:59,630 --> 00:41:01,589 Maybe we could find you something else. 764 00:41:01,676 --> 00:41:03,895 Producer or something. 765 00:41:03,982 --> 00:41:06,463 Okay, maybe that's normal enough. 766 00:41:06,550 --> 00:41:09,510 Can you get started right away? 767 00:41:09,597 --> 00:41:11,773 Well, I got a lot on my plate at the moment. 768 00:41:18,780 --> 00:41:19,998 Hi. 769 00:41:20,085 --> 00:41:21,260 Hey. 770 00:41:21,347 --> 00:41:22,871 I can take that. 771 00:41:23,524 --> 00:41:24,960 Thanks. 772 00:41:28,790 --> 00:41:30,443 I need to talk to you about Tiffany. 773 00:41:30,531 --> 00:41:31,488 Yeah, and then about the weather-- 774 00:41:31,575 --> 00:41:32,663 Oh, Ashley. 775 00:41:32,750 --> 00:41:34,273 Oh, Ashley. 776 00:41:34,360 --> 00:41:36,885 Oh, Larry. Hi. 777 00:41:36,972 --> 00:41:39,844 -I might get my job back. -Touche, babe. 778 00:41:39,931 --> 00:41:42,281 So, at your old studio? 779 00:41:42,368 --> 00:41:43,979 Yes. 780 00:41:44,066 --> 00:41:45,676 Oh. 781 00:41:45,763 --> 00:41:47,809 [Dwayne] Champagne. No olives. 782 00:41:47,896 --> 00:41:50,594 Well, maybe that's normal enough. 783 00:41:50,681 --> 00:41:53,292 You know, maybe we can pretend... 784 00:41:54,729 --> 00:41:56,644 -Yeah, maybe-- -Steak? 785 00:41:58,210 --> 00:41:59,995 I've got a lot on my plate at the moment. 786 00:42:00,082 --> 00:42:03,085 Let's celebrate. Cheers. 787 00:42:03,172 --> 00:42:04,216 [glasses clink] 788 00:42:07,219 --> 00:42:09,787 Oh, there's some people I want you to meet. 789 00:43:21,816 --> 00:43:24,035 What do you think? 790 00:43:24,122 --> 00:43:27,169 This woman... not Japanese. 791 00:43:27,256 --> 00:43:28,518 No. 792 00:43:28,605 --> 00:43:31,564 -You tramp! -Oh. 793 00:43:31,652 --> 00:43:34,045 Get your hands off my fiancé, bro. 794 00:43:34,132 --> 00:43:35,438 Fiancé? 795 00:43:35,525 --> 00:43:37,658 [cross talking] 796 00:43:39,747 --> 00:43:41,574 But does this "fiancé" mean? I genuinely don't know. 797 00:43:41,662 --> 00:43:43,054 No, no, no. 798 00:43:43,141 --> 00:43:44,534 [speaking Japanese] 799 00:43:44,621 --> 00:43:46,884 It's okay. What you did to him? 800 00:43:46,971 --> 00:43:49,147 I don't know these guys are. This guy is looking like a slob. 801 00:43:49,234 --> 00:43:51,106 -[Bruce] Guys, guys... -What are you doing here? 802 00:43:51,193 --> 00:43:53,586 Everything's great. Just let her talk. 803 00:43:53,674 --> 00:43:56,459 -Hey, here's my number. -You got to be kidding me. 804 00:43:56,546 --> 00:43:59,984 [cross talking] 805 00:44:00,071 --> 00:44:01,812 [Bruce] Guys, guys! 806 00:44:05,294 --> 00:44:06,556 Knock, knock. 807 00:44:07,557 --> 00:44:08,514 You suck. 808 00:44:13,171 --> 00:44:14,912 And so it turned out 809 00:44:14,999 --> 00:44:17,872 life really was hopeless after all. 810 00:44:17,959 --> 00:44:20,570 Hello, this is Jim speaking. 811 00:44:20,657 --> 00:44:21,614 Finally a little luck... 812 00:44:21,702 --> 00:44:23,660 [sighs] Again. 813 00:44:23,747 --> 00:44:25,793 It was time to give up. 814 00:44:25,880 --> 00:44:28,056 Sure, Ashley could get her old job back 815 00:44:28,143 --> 00:44:30,711 is she found Evie, but she had no idea 816 00:44:30,798 --> 00:44:32,843 how to solve this case. And so she-- 817 00:44:32,930 --> 00:44:34,192 Wait a minute. 818 00:44:34,279 --> 00:44:35,672 ...to shake this thing up right, 819 00:44:35,759 --> 00:44:37,587 I think I'll swear out [indistinct] like Kappa Pi, 820 00:44:37,674 --> 00:44:39,023 all you need to do 821 00:44:39,110 --> 00:44:40,808 is think like a private eye, Jonesy. 822 00:44:40,895 --> 00:44:43,027 Wait just a minute. 823 00:44:43,114 --> 00:44:44,986 [phone ringing] 824 00:44:45,073 --> 00:44:46,552 Hello. 825 00:44:48,729 --> 00:44:51,209 This is detective Jones. I'm on the case. 826 00:44:51,296 --> 00:44:53,603 [busy tone] 827 00:44:53,690 --> 00:44:55,126 [call ends] 828 00:45:03,439 --> 00:45:04,745 [thinking] Finally a little luck 829 00:45:04,832 --> 00:45:06,790 was headed my way. 830 00:45:06,877 --> 00:45:09,053 Word came down from the big man 831 00:45:09,140 --> 00:45:11,534 that I could have my old job back. 832 00:45:11,621 --> 00:45:13,928 But only if I found this broad. 833 00:45:15,973 --> 00:45:20,630 She liked to run her mouth about pyramids. 834 00:45:20,717 --> 00:45:23,198 Yeah, this would be a piece of cake. 835 00:45:26,636 --> 00:45:28,072 A piece of cake 836 00:45:28,159 --> 00:45:30,074 as long as whoever was tailing me 837 00:45:30,161 --> 00:45:31,989 didn't cause too much of a stir. 838 00:45:36,472 --> 00:45:39,127 I knew the first guy I should talk to. 839 00:45:39,214 --> 00:45:40,911 He was a random quack 840 00:45:40,998 --> 00:45:44,132 who was permanently desperate for a quick buck. 841 00:45:44,219 --> 00:45:45,873 But he always knew the score. 842 00:45:51,835 --> 00:45:53,228 I get a good stall 843 00:45:53,315 --> 00:45:54,795 but it ain't gonna be free see? 844 00:45:56,622 --> 00:45:58,711 Now you're singing my song. 845 00:45:58,799 --> 00:46:01,802 No, you'll start singing my song, pal. 846 00:46:01,889 --> 00:46:04,456 And you'd better make me want to dance. 847 00:46:05,544 --> 00:46:06,632 [chair creaking] 848 00:46:13,465 --> 00:46:15,859 [Ashley thinking] After that he sang all right. 849 00:46:15,946 --> 00:46:18,209 The quack sang like a chorus girl. 850 00:46:18,296 --> 00:46:19,645 He pointed me 851 00:46:19,732 --> 00:46:22,692 towards a big old mansion in Hancock Park, 852 00:46:22,779 --> 00:46:25,303 where the dame was supposed to hang around. 853 00:46:25,390 --> 00:46:27,610 The kind of place where people float in and out 854 00:46:27,697 --> 00:46:29,786 like a broken hearted ghost. 855 00:46:29,873 --> 00:46:31,266 Looking for something 856 00:46:31,353 --> 00:46:32,920 they've been looking for so long 857 00:46:33,007 --> 00:46:35,748 they forgot what it was. But not me. 858 00:46:35,836 --> 00:46:37,968 I knew just what I was looking for. 859 00:46:43,887 --> 00:46:47,064 This has proven to be one slippery fish. 860 00:46:47,151 --> 00:46:50,720 But I knew I had to boat this bass. 861 00:46:50,807 --> 00:46:54,245 Even if it meant talking to the one low down dirty eel 862 00:46:54,332 --> 00:46:55,377 who knew it all. 863 00:46:57,335 --> 00:46:58,597 This muck 864 00:46:58,684 --> 00:47:01,296 seems to be everywhere and hear everything, 865 00:47:01,383 --> 00:47:03,820 always turning up like a bad penny. 866 00:47:06,692 --> 00:47:08,607 I've just as soon break his legs 867 00:47:08,694 --> 00:47:10,000 as talked to him. 868 00:47:10,087 --> 00:47:12,785 But I needed the inside dish. 869 00:47:12,873 --> 00:47:15,397 He said he could help me for a price. 870 00:47:18,139 --> 00:47:20,532 It was called the Golden Leopard. 871 00:47:20,619 --> 00:47:22,491 He said it was his, 872 00:47:22,578 --> 00:47:25,624 but some other crooks have gotten their paws on it. 873 00:47:25,711 --> 00:47:28,149 I didn't care to search through the details. 874 00:47:28,236 --> 00:47:30,412 All I knew was that if I got it, 875 00:47:30,499 --> 00:47:32,066 he'd deliver the dame 876 00:47:32,153 --> 00:47:33,676 who was causing all this trouble. 877 00:47:33,763 --> 00:47:35,373 We had such a beautifully normal thing together. 878 00:47:35,460 --> 00:47:36,287 NO TALKING 879 00:47:36,374 --> 00:47:37,375 It is perfectly normal. 880 00:47:37,462 --> 00:47:38,289 SE HABLA INGLES 881 00:47:38,376 --> 00:47:39,203 Everything is perfectly normal. 882 00:47:39,290 --> 00:47:40,117 Perfectly normal. 883 00:47:40,204 --> 00:47:41,031 Normalcy. 884 00:47:41,118 --> 00:47:42,032 Normalcy! 885 00:47:42,119 --> 00:47:42,772 KEEP MEAT PRODUCTS REFRIGERATED 886 00:47:42,859 --> 00:47:43,686 [laughing and applauding] 887 00:47:43,773 --> 00:47:45,340 No meatballs. 888 00:47:45,427 --> 00:47:46,254 [bottle breaking] 889 00:47:46,341 --> 00:47:47,168 YOU SUCK!!! 890 00:47:47,255 --> 00:47:48,647 [screaming] 891 00:47:49,779 --> 00:47:52,260 [dramatic music playing] 892 00:47:54,175 --> 00:47:56,525 Greg, what happened? Talk to me. 893 00:47:56,612 --> 00:47:59,006 You suck. 894 00:47:59,093 --> 00:48:01,138 [trumpet theme playing] 895 00:48:02,879 --> 00:48:05,316 The spaghetti had hit the fan. 896 00:48:05,403 --> 00:48:08,841 I had no idea where the team or the golden leopard got to. 897 00:48:08,929 --> 00:48:10,408 And Greg was dead. 898 00:48:10,495 --> 00:48:12,062 I was singing in the wind. 899 00:48:12,149 --> 00:48:13,542 [siren blaring] 900 00:48:16,110 --> 00:48:19,287 He wasn't dead, but he was dead drunk 901 00:48:19,374 --> 00:48:20,984 and useless to me. 902 00:48:21,071 --> 00:48:22,159 [banging] 903 00:48:23,726 --> 00:48:25,771 [thudding] 904 00:48:25,858 --> 00:48:27,686 I have to get ahold of myself. 905 00:48:27,773 --> 00:48:29,297 I had to think. 906 00:48:29,384 --> 00:48:30,907 Who pumped off Greg? 907 00:48:30,994 --> 00:48:32,648 Where was the golden leopard? 908 00:48:32,735 --> 00:48:35,042 Was doc Cunningham just playing possum? 909 00:48:35,129 --> 00:48:38,436 But most of all, who was tailing me? 910 00:48:38,523 --> 00:48:40,351 Hey, what's up? 911 00:48:40,438 --> 00:48:41,483 [whooshing] 912 00:48:41,570 --> 00:48:42,875 You need to start talking, playboy. 913 00:48:42,963 --> 00:48:44,355 What? Do you think I'm pretty? 914 00:48:44,442 --> 00:48:45,617 [whooshing] 915 00:48:45,704 --> 00:48:47,532 Turns out he knew as little as I did. 916 00:48:47,619 --> 00:48:49,143 Should I call you? [grunts] 917 00:48:49,230 --> 00:48:52,189 In the middle of this swampy mixed up mess, 918 00:48:52,276 --> 00:48:55,105 one thing was perfectly clear. 919 00:48:55,192 --> 00:48:58,674 I was never gonna find this dame. 920 00:48:58,761 --> 00:49:00,632 -There she is. -Leave me alone. 921 00:49:00,719 --> 00:49:02,112 -But aren't you the-- -No. 922 00:49:02,199 --> 00:49:04,462 Yes, we did an interview. Do you want to do another one? 923 00:49:04,549 --> 00:49:06,464 -You lied to me? -What? How? 924 00:49:08,075 --> 00:49:10,077 You acted like you believed me. 925 00:49:10,164 --> 00:49:12,644 But it was all just for ratings, wasn't it? 926 00:49:12,731 --> 00:49:15,604 -Uh... -Oh, what? You can't talk now? 927 00:49:18,563 --> 00:49:19,956 Sorry for what I did. 928 00:49:21,479 --> 00:49:23,916 Wait. What happened to your voice? 929 00:49:24,004 --> 00:49:25,918 I don't know. 930 00:49:26,006 --> 00:49:27,964 I'm sorry, I'm not trying 931 00:49:28,051 --> 00:49:29,792 to make fun of you or anything. 932 00:49:29,879 --> 00:49:32,055 And if it's none of my business. I apologize. 933 00:49:34,579 --> 00:49:36,886 Is it like foreign accent syndrome or something? 934 00:49:38,670 --> 00:49:42,065 Ashley was shocked to realize that this was the first person 935 00:49:42,152 --> 00:49:44,850 to understand her in a long time. 936 00:49:46,156 --> 00:49:47,636 Sure, yeah. 937 00:49:47,723 --> 00:49:49,942 -Sort of. -Wow. Really? 938 00:49:50,030 --> 00:49:52,380 But you didn't get hit in the head, right? 939 00:49:52,467 --> 00:49:54,251 I mean, if you had serious head trauma 940 00:49:54,338 --> 00:49:56,166 you wouldn't be up and around already. 941 00:49:56,253 --> 00:49:58,299 No, I wasn't. 942 00:49:58,386 --> 00:50:00,257 Just woke up this way. 943 00:50:00,344 --> 00:50:01,650 Just happened. 944 00:50:01,737 --> 00:50:04,218 Jesus, that is frustrating. 945 00:50:06,655 --> 00:50:09,353 Yeah, it's very lonely. 946 00:50:09,440 --> 00:50:11,094 Well, you're allowed to feel that. 947 00:50:11,181 --> 00:50:14,010 But wait, you've got a Japanese accent. 948 00:50:14,097 --> 00:50:17,579 That is complicated. 949 00:50:17,666 --> 00:50:20,973 I'll bet people have no idea what to think of you, do they? 950 00:50:23,150 --> 00:50:25,456 I'll bet there's even people who don't believe you. 951 00:50:25,543 --> 00:50:26,936 Right? 952 00:50:27,023 --> 00:50:29,069 Well, it's not a very credible story. 953 00:50:29,156 --> 00:50:32,681 But doesn't mean it's not true. 954 00:50:32,768 --> 00:50:36,467 Yeah, but it doesn't make any sense. 955 00:50:36,554 --> 00:50:38,687 Which sucks, because it seems like it should make sense, 956 00:50:38,774 --> 00:50:40,471 but it doesn't. 957 00:50:42,038 --> 00:50:44,345 Well, maybe you're wrong to assume 958 00:50:44,432 --> 00:50:47,696 that you are the version of you that can understand this. 959 00:50:47,783 --> 00:50:50,002 Maybe the version of you that can understand 960 00:50:50,090 --> 00:50:53,528 what you're going through right now 961 00:50:53,615 --> 00:50:56,183 is the one you become after you go through it all. 962 00:50:56,270 --> 00:50:57,401 [birds chirping] 963 00:50:57,488 --> 00:50:59,099 That would be terrible. 964 00:50:59,186 --> 00:51:01,275 No, that would be the life. 965 00:51:05,583 --> 00:51:07,194 Come on. 966 00:51:07,281 --> 00:51:08,412 Do this interview. 967 00:51:08,499 --> 00:51:11,154 [sighs] 968 00:51:11,241 --> 00:51:14,331 You seem nice. And I would like to help you. 969 00:51:16,986 --> 00:51:20,207 But I'm 27. 970 00:51:20,294 --> 00:51:21,730 Twenty seven? 971 00:51:23,253 --> 00:51:25,212 Thirty one. 972 00:51:25,299 --> 00:51:26,996 Thirty two, okay. 973 00:51:27,083 --> 00:51:30,826 So... sorry, you know, I can't do it. 974 00:51:32,567 --> 00:51:36,266 The chase was over. It was a dead end. 975 00:51:36,353 --> 00:51:38,268 It was curtains for me. 976 00:51:38,355 --> 00:51:40,009 Case closed. 977 00:51:44,187 --> 00:51:47,408 Um... are you okay? 978 00:51:47,495 --> 00:51:48,931 I don't know. 979 00:51:52,152 --> 00:51:54,937 Do you want to get some dinner and talk about it? 980 00:52:02,640 --> 00:52:04,555 [dishes clanking] 981 00:52:10,692 --> 00:52:13,042 Well, this is nice. 982 00:52:15,566 --> 00:52:16,872 Yeah. 983 00:52:17,873 --> 00:52:19,396 What do you recommend? 984 00:52:20,919 --> 00:52:22,617 I always get the spaghetti. 985 00:52:23,879 --> 00:52:26,664 Okay. Marinara? 986 00:52:26,751 --> 00:52:28,275 Yeah. 987 00:52:28,362 --> 00:52:30,059 -Meatballs? -Uh, no. 988 00:52:30,146 --> 00:52:31,365 Oh, why not? 989 00:52:34,237 --> 00:52:37,545 I don't know. It's not normal. 990 00:52:37,632 --> 00:52:40,243 And normalcy is good. 991 00:52:40,330 --> 00:52:42,767 Oh, I think you mean normality. 992 00:52:43,812 --> 00:52:45,205 Huh? 993 00:52:45,292 --> 00:52:48,643 Um, I'm not to be pedantic here, 994 00:52:48,730 --> 00:52:50,253 but this drives me nuts. 995 00:52:50,340 --> 00:52:52,081 Adjectives that end in a "T" 996 00:52:52,168 --> 00:52:56,085 get a "CY" suffix when becoming a noun. Right? 997 00:52:56,172 --> 00:53:01,177 Pregnant - cy, frequent - cy, transparent - cy. 998 00:53:01,264 --> 00:53:06,226 Adjectives that end in "AL" get an "ITY" suffix. 999 00:53:06,313 --> 00:53:09,054 Mental - mentality, real - reality, 1000 00:53:09,141 --> 00:53:11,187 formal - formality. Normal-- 1001 00:53:11,274 --> 00:53:12,493 Normalcy! 1002 00:53:16,410 --> 00:53:20,196 Uh, good evening. Can I get your usual? 1003 00:53:20,283 --> 00:53:21,763 Can we see a menu, please? 1004 00:53:21,850 --> 00:53:23,155 [chuckles] 1005 00:53:24,896 --> 00:53:26,202 Why? 1006 00:53:26,289 --> 00:53:28,073 I guess we need a minute. 1007 00:53:30,989 --> 00:53:32,077 Yeah. 1008 00:53:32,991 --> 00:53:34,123 Okay. 1009 00:53:34,645 --> 00:53:35,864 Weird. 1010 00:53:35,951 --> 00:53:37,474 So, what else is good here? 1011 00:53:37,561 --> 00:53:39,346 Tenderloin and potatoes are her favorite. 1012 00:53:41,652 --> 00:53:44,394 But, whatever. I'll get the menus. 1013 00:53:48,224 --> 00:53:49,747 I mean, what else have you tried? 1014 00:53:51,314 --> 00:53:52,750 Just the spaghetti. 1015 00:53:54,491 --> 00:53:57,538 How many times have you been here? 1016 00:53:57,625 --> 00:54:00,758 Well, once in a week for the last six years 1017 00:54:00,845 --> 00:54:06,242 puts us around... 300. 1018 00:54:06,329 --> 00:54:09,419 So you've been here 300 times 1019 00:54:09,506 --> 00:54:11,116 and you've never tried anything 1020 00:54:11,203 --> 00:54:12,770 other than the spaghetti? 1021 00:54:15,295 --> 00:54:16,600 Yeah. 1022 00:54:18,341 --> 00:54:19,821 Well, what's wrong? 1023 00:54:21,518 --> 00:54:23,041 You know... 1024 00:54:24,260 --> 00:54:25,783 All of this. 1025 00:54:27,959 --> 00:54:29,265 Yeah. 1026 00:54:30,222 --> 00:54:31,441 I know. 1027 00:54:32,834 --> 00:54:35,184 I've been down in the dumps too before. 1028 00:54:36,185 --> 00:54:37,665 You have? 1029 00:54:37,752 --> 00:54:42,060 Yeah, like when I was in the shipping business, 1030 00:54:42,147 --> 00:54:45,890 I accidentally imported the Black Death into Europe. 1031 00:54:45,977 --> 00:54:47,675 [sighs] 1032 00:54:47,762 --> 00:54:49,546 I felt like they really didn't take that well, 1033 00:54:49,633 --> 00:54:50,765 but you know. 1034 00:54:50,852 --> 00:54:52,288 I'm sorry. 1035 00:54:52,375 --> 00:54:54,682 Yeah, not as sorry as the Florentines. 1036 00:54:56,988 --> 00:55:00,818 Okay, wait. You're not really 32. 1037 00:55:00,905 --> 00:55:03,038 You are 500,000 years old! 1038 00:55:03,125 --> 00:55:04,431 [shushing] 1039 00:55:05,170 --> 00:55:07,303 Okay, sorry. 1040 00:55:07,390 --> 00:55:09,740 I just said that because I-- 1041 00:55:09,827 --> 00:55:11,655 Wait... 1042 00:55:11,742 --> 00:55:13,570 So you do believe me? 1043 00:55:15,398 --> 00:55:18,662 Well, if you say so. Yeah, it's good enough for me. 1044 00:55:20,838 --> 00:55:22,579 Really? 1045 00:55:22,666 --> 00:55:25,582 Evie was shocked to realize that this was the first person 1046 00:55:25,669 --> 00:55:27,802 to understand her in a long time. 1047 00:55:27,889 --> 00:55:30,108 A very long time. 1048 00:55:30,195 --> 00:55:33,155 A very, very, very, very, very, very-- 1049 00:55:33,242 --> 00:55:34,461 [clears throat] 1050 00:55:39,857 --> 00:55:41,903 Are you ready yet? 1051 00:55:44,035 --> 00:55:46,211 Could you bring us a basket of bread? 1052 00:55:46,298 --> 00:55:47,387 Bread? 1053 00:55:49,127 --> 00:55:50,825 You do have bread, right? 1054 00:55:51,652 --> 00:55:52,740 For her. 1055 00:55:54,698 --> 00:55:55,830 Yeah. 1056 00:55:56,613 --> 00:55:57,875 All right. 1057 00:56:01,052 --> 00:56:03,446 Okay, look, you should do the interview. 1058 00:56:03,533 --> 00:56:06,493 [sighs] Let's not spoil dinner. 1059 00:56:06,580 --> 00:56:09,713 But if you're really 500,000 years old 1060 00:56:09,800 --> 00:56:11,933 you should be true to yourself. 1061 00:56:12,020 --> 00:56:14,588 Joan of Arc was true to herself. 1062 00:56:14,675 --> 00:56:16,372 And look where it got her. 1063 00:56:16,459 --> 00:56:18,330 Steak, well done. 1064 00:56:18,418 --> 00:56:20,594 But don't you think you owe it to humanity? 1065 00:56:20,681 --> 00:56:23,988 Because people want to know that they can live forever too. 1066 00:56:24,075 --> 00:56:28,428 Living forever is the worst kind of hell. 1067 00:56:31,387 --> 00:56:33,737 -You should just do it. -Why? 1068 00:56:34,999 --> 00:56:36,566 Because... 1069 00:56:38,307 --> 00:56:40,048 Because you could get famous. 1070 00:56:40,135 --> 00:56:41,615 [laughing] 1071 00:56:43,443 --> 00:56:45,009 Okay, nice try. 1072 00:56:47,621 --> 00:56:50,188 Your... bread. 1073 00:56:52,713 --> 00:56:54,715 -I will have the spaghetti. -Oh, thank God. 1074 00:56:54,802 --> 00:56:55,846 With marinara. 1075 00:56:55,933 --> 00:56:57,631 -Yes, please. -Excellent choice. 1076 00:56:57,718 --> 00:57:00,416 So, two spaghettis with marinara. 1077 00:57:03,811 --> 00:57:04,986 Right? 1078 00:57:09,860 --> 00:57:11,949 I'm gonna go wash my hands. 1079 00:57:12,036 --> 00:57:13,951 Because you can't be too careful with the plague. 1080 00:57:18,216 --> 00:57:19,479 Well? 1081 00:57:21,872 --> 00:57:23,047 Don't do... 1082 00:57:24,962 --> 00:57:26,790 Don't do it. 1083 00:57:26,877 --> 00:57:28,357 [sighs] 1084 00:57:29,750 --> 00:57:31,926 [sighs] 1085 00:57:32,013 --> 00:57:34,624 [whispering] What's the opposite of spaghetti with marinara? 1086 00:57:34,711 --> 00:57:36,626 Tenderloin and potatoes. 1087 00:57:36,713 --> 00:57:38,367 No. 1088 00:57:47,811 --> 00:57:50,945 Could you please just order the spaghetti with marinara? 1089 00:57:51,815 --> 00:57:53,164 No. 1090 00:57:58,039 --> 00:57:59,214 What's wrong? 1091 00:58:01,346 --> 00:58:02,522 All the other things. 1092 00:58:04,175 --> 00:58:05,481 Where's Larry? 1093 00:58:06,874 --> 00:58:08,049 [scoffs] 1094 00:58:13,271 --> 00:58:15,796 Did I do something wrong? 1095 00:58:15,883 --> 00:58:18,407 What? No. Of course not. 1096 00:58:19,408 --> 00:58:21,236 I guess it's me. 1097 00:58:23,847 --> 00:58:27,459 I don't think you should come in here anymore. 1098 00:58:27,547 --> 00:58:30,114 Yeah, me neither. 1099 00:58:32,116 --> 00:58:34,336 You've changed. 1100 00:58:34,423 --> 00:58:37,121 Believe me, I'm sorry for that. 1101 00:58:39,471 --> 00:58:40,951 So am I. 1102 00:58:42,344 --> 00:58:44,085 So am I. 1103 00:58:55,183 --> 00:58:56,576 I'll have the fish. 1104 00:59:05,715 --> 00:59:07,195 [rumbling] 1105 00:59:10,807 --> 00:59:14,289 [beeping] 1106 00:59:14,376 --> 00:59:16,683 That was a lovely meal. Right? 1107 00:59:16,770 --> 00:59:17,988 Yeah. 1108 00:59:19,163 --> 00:59:21,775 Did that fish not agree with you? 1109 00:59:21,862 --> 00:59:24,908 I don't know. I don't know anything anymore. 1110 00:59:24,995 --> 00:59:27,041 I don't even know who I am. 1111 00:59:27,128 --> 00:59:29,434 What... what do you mean? 1112 00:59:29,521 --> 00:59:34,614 I mean, am I a news anchor or fiancée or detective. 1113 00:59:34,701 --> 00:59:36,703 Have you ever felt like an old woman? 1114 00:59:36,790 --> 00:59:39,314 [laughing] 1115 00:59:39,401 --> 00:59:40,663 Me? 1116 00:59:43,448 --> 00:59:45,015 Come look at this. 1117 00:59:46,974 --> 00:59:48,453 Tell me what you see. 1118 00:59:50,020 --> 00:59:51,195 A tree. 1119 00:59:51,282 --> 00:59:52,936 A tree? 1120 00:59:53,023 --> 00:59:55,417 Do you see anything more than that? 1121 00:59:55,504 --> 00:59:57,027 I don't know. 1122 00:59:59,421 --> 01:00:01,510 A tree. 1123 01:00:01,597 --> 01:00:05,253 Ever growing, ever changing. 1124 01:00:05,340 --> 01:00:07,995 Familiar, yet unique. 1125 01:00:10,040 --> 01:00:11,389 Okay. 1126 01:00:11,476 --> 01:00:13,000 Let me ask you something. 1127 01:00:13,087 --> 01:00:15,567 Would this miracle of nature stop being a tree 1128 01:00:15,655 --> 01:00:17,831 if it lost its leaves? 1129 01:00:17,918 --> 01:00:19,223 No. 1130 01:00:19,310 --> 01:00:20,703 Would it stop being a tree 1131 01:00:20,790 --> 01:00:22,487 if its leaves were a different color? 1132 01:00:23,619 --> 01:00:24,925 I guess not. 1133 01:00:25,012 --> 01:00:26,666 No, of course it wouldn't. 1134 01:00:26,753 --> 01:00:29,059 Because a tree isn't defined by the little things. 1135 01:00:29,146 --> 01:00:31,366 It's all about what's at the core. You know? 1136 01:00:34,238 --> 01:00:37,546 You are still Ashley Jones. 1137 01:00:37,633 --> 01:00:40,070 And Ashley Jones is a wonderful person, 1138 01:00:40,157 --> 01:00:42,594 no matter what color her leaves are. 1139 01:00:46,250 --> 01:00:48,600 Thank you. Thank you, Evie. 1140 01:00:50,733 --> 01:00:52,430 All right, poor kid. 1141 01:00:59,263 --> 01:01:02,092 I remember when I was your age 1142 01:01:02,179 --> 01:01:04,268 I thought I was all grown up too. 1143 01:01:11,319 --> 01:01:13,234 Hey, maybe I should do this interview. 1144 01:01:15,715 --> 01:01:16,890 Really? 1145 01:01:17,542 --> 01:01:19,022 Yeah. 1146 01:01:20,110 --> 01:01:21,895 Maybe we'll find out the truth. 1147 01:01:22,939 --> 01:01:25,159 Maybe I'll get famous. 1148 01:01:25,246 --> 01:01:28,336 So in the end, Ashley's trap had worked perfectly. 1149 01:01:28,423 --> 01:01:30,991 She had Evie right where she wanted her. 1150 01:01:31,078 --> 01:01:32,732 [chainsaw rumbling] 1151 01:01:36,387 --> 01:01:38,868 [keyboard clacking] 1152 01:01:38,955 --> 01:01:40,174 [knocking on door] 1153 01:01:41,044 --> 01:01:42,480 There she is. 1154 01:01:43,786 --> 01:01:45,527 There's my rock star. 1155 01:01:45,614 --> 01:01:48,225 -It's great to be back. -Seriously. 1156 01:01:48,312 --> 01:01:50,184 It's like our family is reunited. 1157 01:01:50,271 --> 01:01:54,405 You, me, makeup girl, Jim. 1158 01:01:54,492 --> 01:01:58,322 -Welcome back. -Thanks, Bruce. 1159 01:01:58,409 --> 01:01:59,497 John's landed. 1160 01:01:59,584 --> 01:02:02,849 The 5000 year old woman. 1161 01:02:02,936 --> 01:02:04,328 Five hundred thousand. 1162 01:02:04,415 --> 01:02:06,635 Okay, this is gonna be great. 1163 01:02:08,768 --> 01:02:11,161 There she is. There's my rock star. 1164 01:02:12,946 --> 01:02:14,991 -This is gonna be great. -That's great. 1165 01:02:15,078 --> 01:02:16,514 -This is going to be great. -That's great. 1166 01:02:16,601 --> 01:02:18,386 So great. 1167 01:02:18,473 --> 01:02:20,214 Just then Ashley realized 1168 01:02:20,301 --> 01:02:22,825 she was having a crisis of conscience. 1169 01:02:22,912 --> 01:02:24,348 What? No, I'm not. 1170 01:02:24,435 --> 01:02:25,785 She felt guilty 1171 01:02:25,872 --> 01:02:27,090 that she was doing whatever it took 1172 01:02:27,177 --> 01:02:28,526 to get her old job back. 1173 01:02:28,613 --> 01:02:30,615 It's not just a job. It's my life. 1174 01:02:30,702 --> 01:02:33,096 It wasn't just your life. It was her integrity. 1175 01:02:33,183 --> 01:02:34,445 Oh, that's your opinion. 1176 01:02:34,532 --> 01:02:36,404 Okay, so then you know 1177 01:02:36,491 --> 01:02:38,319 that you're doing the right thing? 1178 01:02:38,406 --> 01:02:40,712 Look, I don't see what the big problem is. 1179 01:02:40,800 --> 01:02:42,192 Well, the big problem 1180 01:02:42,279 --> 01:02:44,020 is that she hasn't gone through hair and makeup 1181 01:02:44,107 --> 01:02:46,109 or wardrobe and she's on in 30. 1182 01:02:46,196 --> 01:02:48,938 -You're a producer now. -Yeah. 1183 01:02:49,025 --> 01:02:51,245 That's great. That's great. 1184 01:02:51,332 --> 01:02:53,029 No, that's not great. 1185 01:02:53,116 --> 01:02:54,378 Why? 1186 01:02:54,465 --> 01:02:55,858 You're taking advantage of Evie, you know? 1187 01:02:55,945 --> 01:02:57,120 No, I'm not. 1188 01:02:57,207 --> 01:02:58,818 Then what are you doing? 1189 01:03:00,254 --> 01:03:01,733 Aren't we just giving a voice 1190 01:03:01,821 --> 01:03:03,518 to someone who otherwise wouldn't be heard? 1191 01:03:03,605 --> 01:03:04,649 That's right. 1192 01:03:04,736 --> 01:03:05,912 Is it? 1193 01:03:05,999 --> 01:03:08,218 I don't know. This is between you two? 1194 01:03:08,305 --> 01:03:10,960 Yeah. Besides, this was all Bruce's idea. 1195 01:03:11,047 --> 01:03:12,483 The wheel is already in motion. 1196 01:03:12,570 --> 01:03:15,225 Are you honestly saying it's impossible to stop this 1197 01:03:15,312 --> 01:03:16,139 if that were-- 1198 01:03:16,226 --> 01:03:17,837 Okay, okay, I'll talk to Bruce. 1199 01:03:26,062 --> 01:03:28,195 What happens if you don't do this interview? 1200 01:03:28,282 --> 01:03:29,587 -What happens is-- -[shushing] 1201 01:03:29,674 --> 01:03:30,893 Oh, sorry. 1202 01:03:35,202 --> 01:03:38,161 What happens is... 1203 01:03:38,248 --> 01:03:41,556 The choice for Ashley was perfectly clear. 1204 01:03:41,643 --> 01:03:43,514 Look, it's not just black and white. 1205 01:03:43,601 --> 01:03:46,866 -Black or white? -I've not decided yet. 1206 01:03:46,953 --> 01:03:49,172 The choice was clear. It was time to talk to... 1207 01:03:49,259 --> 01:03:50,521 Tiffany. 1208 01:03:50,608 --> 01:03:52,001 You have some nerves coming back here. 1209 01:03:52,088 --> 01:03:54,395 -Look, I'm really sorry. -Yeah, I bet. 1210 01:03:54,482 --> 01:03:56,266 No, really. I need you to believe me 1211 01:03:56,353 --> 01:03:57,877 -that I wasn't trying to-- -Look, if it's not about work, 1212 01:03:57,964 --> 01:03:59,313 I don't want to hear it. 1213 01:04:00,009 --> 01:04:01,315 Okay. 1214 01:04:01,402 --> 01:04:03,317 I just wanted to talk to you about this interview. 1215 01:04:03,404 --> 01:04:05,536 No, you changed. 1216 01:04:05,623 --> 01:04:07,364 She might have had something there. 1217 01:04:07,451 --> 01:04:09,584 Yeah. Larry dumped you. 1218 01:04:09,671 --> 01:04:11,629 And then you got jealous of me and Dwayne. 1219 01:04:11,716 --> 01:04:13,196 Nah, she lost it. 1220 01:04:13,283 --> 01:04:14,894 Lunch order for Tiffany. 1221 01:04:16,460 --> 01:04:19,637 But I will say this. He's not just some beefcake. 1222 01:04:19,724 --> 01:04:23,424 He's smart and sensitive, and deep and smart. 1223 01:04:23,511 --> 01:04:25,165 Niihau, amigos. 1224 01:04:25,252 --> 01:04:26,993 Tiffany looked for something crushing 1225 01:04:27,080 --> 01:04:29,299 to say to her amigo Ashley. 1226 01:04:29,386 --> 01:04:30,474 You suck. 1227 01:04:32,433 --> 01:04:35,653 Though it wasn't as crushing as she had hoped. 1228 01:04:35,740 --> 01:04:37,438 Okay, okay, how about this? 1229 01:04:37,525 --> 01:04:39,179 Why don't you just go talk to her? 1230 01:04:39,266 --> 01:04:40,528 Who? Tiffany? 1231 01:04:40,615 --> 01:04:42,399 [sighing] 1232 01:04:42,486 --> 01:04:45,098 I can't. I'm really busy. 1233 01:04:45,185 --> 01:04:47,448 Well, it kinda seems like you're just using her. 1234 01:04:47,535 --> 01:04:48,666 No, I'm not. 1235 01:04:55,717 --> 01:04:57,632 See? She wants to do this. 1236 01:04:57,719 --> 01:04:59,547 Uh-humm. 1237 01:04:59,634 --> 01:05:01,462 Look, I'm the victim here. 1238 01:05:01,549 --> 01:05:03,464 I only lost my job in the first place 1239 01:05:03,551 --> 01:05:05,031 because something happened to me 1240 01:05:05,118 --> 01:05:06,075 that I couldn't control. 1241 01:05:06,162 --> 01:05:07,294 But you can control this. 1242 01:05:07,381 --> 01:05:10,253 Yeah, he's right. It's indefensible. 1243 01:05:10,340 --> 01:05:11,776 Yeah, he's right. 1244 01:05:13,169 --> 01:05:14,344 Don't listen to them. 1245 01:05:14,431 --> 01:05:16,216 You're getting everything you want out of this. 1246 01:05:16,303 --> 01:05:17,782 You're getting your old life back, 1247 01:05:17,869 --> 01:05:19,349 you're getting your job back. 1248 01:05:19,436 --> 01:05:21,177 Um, not exactly. 1249 01:05:21,264 --> 01:05:23,919 Close enough. It's a return to normalcy. 1250 01:05:24,006 --> 01:05:26,313 Plus, I'm telling you, this will impress Larry. 1251 01:05:26,400 --> 01:05:27,749 Right? 1252 01:05:27,836 --> 01:05:30,491 -Actually, yes, because I-- -Okay. 1253 01:05:30,578 --> 01:05:31,622 See? 1254 01:05:31,709 --> 01:05:33,842 But, what about my integrity? 1255 01:05:33,929 --> 01:05:36,018 It's not your integrity. It's your life. 1256 01:05:37,063 --> 01:05:38,368 Yeah. 1257 01:05:40,849 --> 01:05:42,546 So then your solution to all this is-- 1258 01:05:42,633 --> 01:05:43,808 You know what? 1259 01:05:43,895 --> 01:05:45,071 I'm not listening to you anymore. 1260 01:05:45,158 --> 01:05:46,507 Call for Ashley. 1261 01:05:46,594 --> 01:05:48,117 You're just trying to ignore the problem. Over. 1262 01:05:48,204 --> 01:05:49,336 Copy that. 1263 01:05:49,423 --> 01:05:50,598 No, I'm not? 1264 01:05:50,685 --> 01:05:52,339 Yeah, you are. 1265 01:05:52,426 --> 01:05:54,080 You're making the mistake of thinking 1266 01:05:54,167 --> 01:05:56,604 that not fixing the problem is a solution. 1267 01:05:56,691 --> 01:05:58,084 But conflict avoidance 1268 01:05:58,171 --> 01:05:59,999 is not synonymous with conflict resolution. 1269 01:06:00,086 --> 01:06:01,739 -Who are you? -I'm Pat. 1270 01:06:01,826 --> 01:06:03,219 You're fired. 1271 01:06:03,306 --> 01:06:05,178 Oh... great. 1272 01:06:05,265 --> 01:06:07,093 Don't you think they might laugh at her? 1273 01:06:07,180 --> 01:06:08,485 Nobody's gonna laugh at her. 1274 01:06:08,572 --> 01:06:09,660 [laughing] 1275 01:06:09,747 --> 01:06:11,140 [both] It's going to be great. 1276 01:06:11,227 --> 01:06:13,012 Really? How do you think it'll make her feel 1277 01:06:13,099 --> 01:06:14,578 when nobody believes there? 1278 01:06:14,665 --> 01:06:16,580 She's old enough to make that call. 1279 01:06:16,667 --> 01:06:18,887 Yeah. And how old is she again? 1280 01:06:18,974 --> 01:06:20,845 I'm not the one you should be talking to. 1281 01:06:20,932 --> 01:06:23,370 Tiffany's doing an interview. It's out of my hands. 1282 01:06:23,457 --> 01:06:24,719 You have ten minutes to live. 1283 01:06:24,806 --> 01:06:26,155 What? 1284 01:06:26,242 --> 01:06:28,810 Yeah, the wound on your back got infected, so... 1285 01:06:28,897 --> 01:06:30,812 Oh no, wait... 1286 01:06:30,899 --> 01:06:33,771 Dr. Cunningham. Thanks for coming. 1287 01:06:33,858 --> 01:06:36,252 It's all right. Wrong chart. What I meant to say 1288 01:06:36,339 --> 01:06:37,906 was Tiffany has food poisoning. 1289 01:06:37,993 --> 01:06:39,603 How could this have happened? 1290 01:06:39,690 --> 01:06:40,822 [beeping] 1291 01:06:40,909 --> 01:06:42,693 Hey, shouldn't the fridge be plugged in? 1292 01:06:42,780 --> 01:06:44,826 Who cares? 1293 01:06:44,913 --> 01:06:47,524 Wait, somebody else has only ten minutes to live? 1294 01:06:49,570 --> 01:06:50,701 Excuse me. 1295 01:06:54,401 --> 01:06:56,098 You got your job back. 1296 01:06:56,185 --> 01:06:58,970 -What? -Tiffany's out, you're in. 1297 01:06:59,058 --> 01:07:01,669 -Oh. -It's all in your hands now. 1298 01:07:01,756 --> 01:07:04,933 You just have to do exactly what I say. 1299 01:07:05,020 --> 01:07:07,936 And with that, Ashley knew exactly what she had to-- 1300 01:07:08,023 --> 01:07:09,068 I'll do it. 1301 01:07:12,636 --> 01:07:14,334 One question, okay? 1302 01:07:14,421 --> 01:07:16,292 Look, I don't have time for this. 1303 01:07:16,379 --> 01:07:18,381 Oh, sorry. Sheesh! 1304 01:07:20,905 --> 01:07:22,342 One question. 1305 01:07:22,429 --> 01:07:23,734 What? 1306 01:07:23,821 --> 01:07:25,693 Why is she doing this interview? 1307 01:07:25,780 --> 01:07:27,303 What do you mean? 1308 01:07:27,390 --> 01:07:29,523 Honestly, why? 1309 01:07:32,439 --> 01:07:33,614 Um... 1310 01:07:34,963 --> 01:07:36,834 [girl] Places everybody. 1311 01:07:36,921 --> 01:07:38,575 My name is Evie. 1312 01:07:38,662 --> 01:07:42,405 And I am 500,000 years old today. 1313 01:07:42,492 --> 01:07:43,493 My name-- 1314 01:07:44,407 --> 01:07:45,539 My name is Evie 1315 01:07:45,626 --> 01:07:50,196 and I am 500,000 years old... today. 1316 01:07:50,283 --> 01:07:51,675 My name is Evie. 1317 01:07:55,201 --> 01:07:56,898 Oh, are you doing the interview? 1318 01:07:57,507 --> 01:07:58,552 Yes. 1319 01:07:58,639 --> 01:08:00,684 Oh, that's great. 1320 01:08:00,771 --> 01:08:01,816 It's gonna be great. 1321 01:08:01,903 --> 01:08:03,122 [Bruce] Yes, it's gonna be great. 1322 01:08:03,209 --> 01:08:04,384 [makeup girl] That's great. 1323 01:08:04,471 --> 01:08:06,342 [Bruce] So great. 1324 01:08:06,429 --> 01:08:08,257 How are you feeling? Are you nervous? 1325 01:08:10,259 --> 01:08:12,174 I'm okay. 1326 01:08:12,261 --> 01:08:14,959 Do you have any questions before we start? 1327 01:08:16,091 --> 01:08:18,311 I guess not. 1328 01:08:18,397 --> 01:08:21,487 No, really. We can talk about it. 1329 01:08:21,575 --> 01:08:23,707 Do you have any concerns? 1330 01:08:23,794 --> 01:08:25,187 [scoffs] Nah. 1331 01:08:28,058 --> 01:08:32,325 I mean, how would you feel like if they laugh, 1332 01:08:32,412 --> 01:08:33,848 if they don't believe you? 1333 01:08:33,935 --> 01:08:36,503 [scoffs] Of course they're gonna laugh. 1334 01:08:36,590 --> 01:08:38,504 Of course they're not gonna believe me. 1335 01:08:38,592 --> 01:08:40,071 [chuckles] 1336 01:08:40,159 --> 01:08:42,422 Then, why are you doing this interview? 1337 01:08:44,293 --> 01:08:46,164 Well, I just thought it would help you out. 1338 01:08:48,167 --> 01:08:51,518 Okay, in five, four, three... 1339 01:08:53,868 --> 01:08:54,737 [theme music playing] 1340 01:08:54,825 --> 01:08:55,957 ACTION NEWS LIVE 1341 01:08:56,044 --> 01:08:57,698 ACTION NEWS 500,000 YEARS OLD: 1342 01:08:57,785 --> 01:08:59,482 LOCAL WOMAN TO REVEAL HER SECRET 1343 01:09:06,620 --> 01:09:08,099 Not again. 1344 01:09:13,235 --> 01:09:16,760 THINK OF THE RATINGS 1345 01:09:16,847 --> 01:09:18,414 [whispering] Ask her her age. 1346 01:09:24,464 --> 01:09:25,334 Ask her... 1347 01:09:25,421 --> 01:09:27,293 about her age. 1348 01:09:30,120 --> 01:09:31,905 [whispering] Ask me about my age. 1349 01:09:35,823 --> 01:09:38,042 Okay, listen. 1350 01:09:39,740 --> 01:09:41,698 There's not going to be an interview. 1351 01:09:41,785 --> 01:09:42,830 [sighs] 1352 01:09:42,917 --> 01:09:44,745 But I can tell you this. 1353 01:09:44,832 --> 01:09:50,533 This lady is a good, kind, thoughtful friend. 1354 01:09:50,620 --> 01:09:53,709 Probably kinder than any of us. 1355 01:09:53,797 --> 01:09:55,277 So you don't believe her 1356 01:09:55,364 --> 01:09:58,106 when she says 500,000 years old. 1357 01:09:58,193 --> 01:10:01,109 And to be honest... maybe I don't. 1358 01:10:04,373 --> 01:10:08,551 I know how easy it is to ignore reality 1359 01:10:08,637 --> 01:10:11,641 and easiest way to ignore all of my all shortcomings 1360 01:10:11,727 --> 01:10:14,035 to make somebody else a target. 1361 01:10:15,079 --> 01:10:16,907 So go ahead laugh. 1362 01:10:20,346 --> 01:10:22,696 Or we could be all more like her. 1363 01:10:24,611 --> 01:10:26,743 The world would be a better place. 1364 01:10:28,571 --> 01:10:29,920 Right? 1365 01:10:38,929 --> 01:10:39,974 You suck. 1366 01:10:43,804 --> 01:10:45,066 Should I cut? 1367 01:10:45,153 --> 01:10:46,414 ACTION NEWS SORRY. AGAIN. 1368 01:10:46,502 --> 01:10:47,938 [sustained beeping] 1369 01:10:50,114 --> 01:10:52,029 Evie? 1370 01:10:52,116 --> 01:10:53,596 Hey, do you know where Evie went? 1371 01:10:53,682 --> 01:10:54,597 No. 1372 01:10:54,684 --> 01:10:56,816 Wait, didn't I fire you? 1373 01:10:56,904 --> 01:10:58,819 No, no, that was somebody else. 1374 01:10:59,602 --> 01:11:01,691 Hmm. 1375 01:11:01,778 --> 01:11:04,651 Ashley really was proud of herself this time. 1376 01:11:04,738 --> 01:11:07,480 She stood up for a friend when she needed at the most. 1377 01:11:07,566 --> 01:11:10,918 "Dear Ashley so long and thanks for everything. 1378 01:11:11,005 --> 01:11:13,441 Don't waste your time looking for me. 1379 01:11:13,529 --> 01:11:16,489 We'll never meet again?" 1380 01:11:16,575 --> 01:11:19,143 But this wasn't the response that she had hoped for. 1381 01:11:21,581 --> 01:11:23,931 Ashley wondered just what had gone wrong. 1382 01:11:24,018 --> 01:11:26,586 Of course, Evie said she wanted to be left alone. 1383 01:11:26,673 --> 01:11:28,762 But Ashley couldn't help retracing her steps. 1384 01:11:33,896 --> 01:11:35,725 No, meatballs are normal. 1385 01:11:37,118 --> 01:11:40,208 -Really? -Yeah. Totally normal. 1386 01:11:41,644 --> 01:11:42,950 Normal. 1387 01:11:47,128 --> 01:11:48,347 Okay. 1388 01:11:51,914 --> 01:11:55,179 -Can we order the meatballs? -No. 1389 01:11:55,266 --> 01:11:56,616 The meatballs are poisoned. 1390 01:12:02,664 --> 01:12:04,493 "Seriously, leave me alone!" 1391 01:12:09,411 --> 01:12:11,544 Ashley was beginning to get the hint. 1392 01:12:11,631 --> 01:12:13,850 But should she really not even try 1393 01:12:13,937 --> 01:12:16,636 to look for her friend again? 1394 01:12:16,723 --> 01:12:19,029 "Yes, really. Stop looking for me." 1395 01:12:20,770 --> 01:12:23,120 -Hey. -Oh, hey. 1396 01:12:23,207 --> 01:12:26,167 Listen, I just wanted to say a couple of things. 1397 01:12:26,253 --> 01:12:30,432 Uh, A, I wanted to apologize for being mean. 1398 01:12:30,519 --> 01:12:32,869 B, I really liked your speech. 1399 01:12:35,481 --> 01:12:37,787 C... 1400 01:12:37,874 --> 01:12:40,921 is Dwayne just a good looking meathead in a towel? 1401 01:12:43,619 --> 01:12:45,229 Yeah, I'm afraid so. 1402 01:12:46,709 --> 01:12:48,276 Yeah. 1403 01:12:48,363 --> 01:12:50,670 I know. 1404 01:12:50,757 --> 01:12:53,628 ...MEANWHILE, ACROSS THE STREET 1405 01:12:53,716 --> 01:12:55,021 [Tiffany] Is Dwayne, 1406 01:12:55,109 --> 01:12:57,241 just a good looking meathead in a towel? 1407 01:12:57,328 --> 01:12:59,505 [Ashley] Yes, I'm afraid so. 1408 01:12:59,592 --> 01:13:02,812 Dwayne was shocked to realize that-- 1409 01:13:02,899 --> 01:13:06,163 Well, no, he didn't really learn anything. 1410 01:13:06,250 --> 01:13:07,948 But he was good looking. 1411 01:13:08,035 --> 01:13:11,386 -He's good looking, though. -Yeah, I know. 1412 01:13:11,473 --> 01:13:12,431 [chuckling] 1413 01:13:19,655 --> 01:13:20,917 I guess that's that. 1414 01:13:21,003 --> 01:13:22,876 Yes, I guess that was that. 1415 01:13:26,270 --> 01:13:28,708 So in the end, Ashley learned 1416 01:13:28,795 --> 01:13:30,840 that some things drift in and out of your life 1417 01:13:30,927 --> 01:13:33,669 with no real reason or purpose. 1418 01:13:33,756 --> 01:13:36,236 And nothing you do or don't do 1419 01:13:36,324 --> 01:13:38,544 makes that much of a difference. 1420 01:13:38,631 --> 01:13:41,068 But that's what it means to be an adult. 1421 01:13:41,155 --> 01:13:43,200 You just sort of do things. 1422 01:13:43,287 --> 01:13:45,115 And the best conclusion you can hope for 1423 01:13:45,202 --> 01:13:46,639 isn't very satisfying, 1424 01:13:46,726 --> 01:13:48,597 because you can't understand it. 1425 01:13:48,684 --> 01:13:51,208 And you really shouldn't even try. 1426 01:13:51,295 --> 01:13:53,646 And then things don't go anywhere for a while. 1427 01:13:53,733 --> 01:13:55,474 Until they just sort of end. 1428 01:14:03,786 --> 01:14:05,222 [phone ringing] 1429 01:14:08,661 --> 01:14:10,184 Hello. 1430 01:14:10,271 --> 01:14:12,534 [man] Evie may only have moments to live. 1431 01:14:13,970 --> 01:14:15,405 Are you sure you have the right chart? 1432 01:14:15,494 --> 01:14:17,539 Yeah, I'm afraid so. 1433 01:14:17,626 --> 01:14:19,541 Look, I probably shouldn't be telling you this 1434 01:14:19,628 --> 01:14:22,065 because of confidentiality reasons. 1435 01:14:22,152 --> 01:14:25,807 But it's an emergency, so I need to let you know. 1436 01:14:25,895 --> 01:14:29,682 A while back we diagnosed her with a rather persistent, 1437 01:14:29,769 --> 01:14:32,727 rather severe delusional disorder. 1438 01:14:32,815 --> 01:14:34,251 And we've had her up 1439 01:14:34,338 --> 01:14:36,384 on our psych ward multiple times 1440 01:14:36,471 --> 01:14:38,125 for repeatedly trying to kill herself. 1441 01:14:38,212 --> 01:14:40,039 [voice fading out] She was here three weeks ago. 1442 01:14:40,127 --> 01:14:41,607 Ashley was in a panic. 1443 01:14:41,694 --> 01:14:43,217 She had retraced her steps, but she-- 1444 01:14:43,304 --> 01:14:44,479 Wait. 1445 01:14:45,741 --> 01:14:47,874 [waves crushing] 1446 01:14:52,400 --> 01:14:54,663 Filling her pockets with rocks, 1447 01:14:54,750 --> 01:14:58,101 our other heartsick heroin decided to walk into the ocean 1448 01:14:58,188 --> 01:14:59,450 and end it all. 1449 01:14:59,538 --> 01:15:01,539 [thinking] Which makes sense, 1450 01:15:01,627 --> 01:15:04,151 because I remember when life first crawled out of there. 1451 01:15:05,718 --> 01:15:06,980 Evie. 1452 01:15:08,982 --> 01:15:10,374 Oh, great. 1453 01:15:11,332 --> 01:15:12,507 Not again. 1454 01:15:14,944 --> 01:15:16,250 Can we talk? 1455 01:15:16,337 --> 01:15:17,904 No. 1456 01:15:17,991 --> 01:15:19,645 Please, don't do it. 1457 01:15:22,298 --> 01:15:24,258 I stood up for you. 1458 01:15:24,345 --> 01:15:27,000 Actually, sweetheart, 1459 01:15:27,087 --> 01:15:29,218 you told everyone that you don't believe me. 1460 01:15:30,830 --> 01:15:32,571 I said, "Maybe I don't." 1461 01:15:32,658 --> 01:15:34,529 Okay. So what do you think? 1462 01:15:39,229 --> 01:15:41,101 The doctor said that I think-- 1463 01:15:41,188 --> 01:15:42,972 Ashley, I know what the doctors think. 1464 01:15:45,845 --> 01:15:51,633 I'm just feeling very old and very tired. 1465 01:15:51,720 --> 01:15:54,810 And very ready for things to be over. 1466 01:15:57,247 --> 01:15:59,598 Okay, you're allowed to feel that. 1467 01:16:02,383 --> 01:16:04,298 Oh, thank you. 1468 01:16:06,387 --> 01:16:07,823 What do you want me to say? 1469 01:16:09,869 --> 01:16:12,218 I'm not gonna tell you what to say. 1470 01:16:12,306 --> 01:16:13,742 I'm not gonna speak for you, 1471 01:16:13,829 --> 01:16:15,744 I'm not gonna say, "Repeat after me." 1472 01:16:19,356 --> 01:16:24,187 Listen, I don't believe that you're 500,000 years old. 1473 01:16:24,274 --> 01:16:25,753 No one does. 1474 01:16:27,974 --> 01:16:31,760 And I know how lonely that makes you feel? 1475 01:16:31,847 --> 01:16:33,632 But you're not alone. 1476 01:16:35,155 --> 01:16:37,113 We could still be friends. 1477 01:16:40,682 --> 01:16:43,119 And as your friend... 1478 01:16:43,206 --> 01:16:45,252 I don't want you to do this. 1479 01:16:45,339 --> 01:16:47,341 Because I'll be all alone. 1480 01:16:50,779 --> 01:16:52,738 Do you want to do that to me? 1481 01:17:07,883 --> 01:17:09,885 [seagulls cawing] 1482 01:17:13,019 --> 01:17:15,325 ♪ Happy birthday to you 1483 01:17:15,412 --> 01:17:21,636 ♪ Happy birthday dear Evie Happy birthday to you ♪ 1484 01:17:21,723 --> 01:17:23,986 My first struggle with depression started 1485 01:17:24,073 --> 01:17:26,380 when my third husband died. 1486 01:17:26,467 --> 01:17:30,079 He fell into the La Brea Tar Pits. 1487 01:17:30,166 --> 01:17:32,778 They have him on display now next to the mammoth bones. 1488 01:17:32,865 --> 01:17:35,171 [woman] Okay, Evie, let's fact check that. 1489 01:17:35,258 --> 01:17:36,564 [Evie] All right. 1490 01:17:37,739 --> 01:17:39,566 They put him over by the bathroom. 1491 01:17:41,569 --> 01:17:45,486 Ashley Jones was finally at peace. 1492 01:17:45,573 --> 01:17:47,009 Perhaps it was time to embrace her new life, 1493 01:17:47,096 --> 01:17:48,923 difficulties and all. 1494 01:17:49,011 --> 01:17:51,797 Older and wiser, she could no longer yearn 1495 01:17:51,884 --> 01:17:54,102 for the comfortable days of normalcy. 1496 01:17:54,190 --> 01:17:55,975 But instead, she should embrace 1497 01:17:56,062 --> 01:17:58,628 what life had now brough her "Difference-cy". 1498 01:18:01,589 --> 01:18:03,809 Perhaps Ashley Jones now stood on the threshold 1499 01:18:03,896 --> 01:18:07,203 of a new world of exciting possibilities. 1500 01:18:07,289 --> 01:18:11,512 Yes, perhaps a little luck was finally headed her way. 1501 01:18:13,079 --> 01:18:14,080 [clanking] 1502 01:18:14,167 --> 01:18:15,342 [thudding] 1503 01:18:20,608 --> 01:18:22,697 [birds chirping] 1504 01:18:27,267 --> 01:18:30,009 [moaning] 1505 01:18:30,096 --> 01:18:31,619 My head. 1506 01:18:38,234 --> 01:18:40,367 You have got to be kidding me. 1507 01:18:40,454 --> 01:18:42,021 No, I'm not kidding. 1508 01:18:42,108 --> 01:18:44,327 It was all strange but all true. 1509 01:18:44,414 --> 01:18:46,547 And this is the fate of man 1510 01:18:46,634 --> 01:18:48,896 to endure the vicissitudes of destiny, 1511 01:18:48,984 --> 01:18:50,593 endlessly wrestling 1512 01:18:50,681 --> 01:18:52,814 with the supreme complexity of existence. 1513 01:18:52,901 --> 01:18:55,034 Then again, why take my word for it? 1514 01:18:55,120 --> 01:18:56,687 [chuckles] I'm just a potato. 1515 01:20:04,277 --> 01:20:06,018 [English accent] Let me get this straight. 1516 01:20:06,105 --> 01:20:09,282 You're an American who got an American accent? 1517 01:20:09,369 --> 01:20:10,673 [door creaks]