1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:06,541 --> 00:00:10,333 [spooky theremin music playing] 3 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 4 00:00:10,416 --> 00:00:11,375 [glass shatters] 5 00:00:11,458 --> 00:00:13,500 [carnival music playing] 6 00:00:13,583 --> 00:00:14,583 Terrific! 7 00:00:16,666 --> 00:00:19,958 [thunder rumbling] 8 00:00:25,958 --> 00:00:28,250 [wind gusting] 9 00:00:28,333 --> 00:00:31,083 -[alert buzzing] -[creaking] 10 00:00:32,125 --> 00:00:35,708 [man whistling melody] 11 00:00:42,333 --> 00:00:46,166 [man] Special delivery for Mr. Loon E. Tunes. 12 00:00:46,250 --> 00:00:48,041 [man snickers] 13 00:00:49,708 --> 00:00:50,708 Ah. 14 00:00:51,291 --> 00:00:52,458 All right. 15 00:00:53,125 --> 00:00:54,375 Catching some Z's, huh? 16 00:00:56,750 --> 00:00:58,833 Did you go pee-pee while you sleepy, huh? 17 00:00:59,708 --> 00:01:01,333 I heard you can't hold it in. 18 00:01:02,250 --> 00:01:03,291 Hartman? 19 00:01:03,833 --> 00:01:06,708 Hey, you quakin' in your boots? 20 00:01:06,791 --> 00:01:09,083 You better be, 'cause I'm your new attendant. 21 00:01:09,708 --> 00:01:10,791 The name's Hal L. 22 00:01:11,625 --> 00:01:13,000 And you're in my world now. 23 00:01:17,416 --> 00:01:19,041 [screams] Oh! 24 00:01:21,125 --> 00:01:23,333 Psycho on the loose! 25 00:01:25,250 --> 00:01:26,541 ["Monster Mash" playing] 26 00:01:26,625 --> 00:01:29,375 ♪ I was working in the lab Late one night ♪ 27 00:01:29,458 --> 00:01:33,166 ♪ When my eyes beheld an eerie sight ♪ 28 00:01:33,250 --> 00:01:36,708 ♪ For my monster from his slab Began to rise ♪ 29 00:01:36,791 --> 00:01:39,250 ♪ And suddenly to my surprise… ♪ 30 00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:40,166 Good morning! 31 00:01:40,250 --> 00:01:41,125 ♪ He did the mash ♪ 32 00:01:41,500 --> 00:01:44,291 -♪ He did the monster mash ♪ -♪ The monster mash… ♪ 33 00:01:44,916 --> 00:01:46,208 Halloween's upon us! 34 00:01:46,791 --> 00:01:48,041 ♪ He did the mash ♪ 35 00:01:48,125 --> 00:01:49,750 ♪ It caught on in a flash… ♪ 36 00:01:49,833 --> 00:01:51,666 [woman on radio] Hello, my witches and warlocks. 37 00:01:51,750 --> 00:01:53,625 It's your ghoulish DJ Aurora. 38 00:01:53,708 --> 00:01:54,875 [distorted sinister laughter] 39 00:01:54,958 --> 00:01:58,250 I hope you're ready for tomorrow night and all the spooky things that frighten. 40 00:01:58,333 --> 00:01:59,208 [woman screaming] 41 00:01:59,291 --> 00:02:00,416 I know I am. 42 00:02:01,041 --> 00:02:01,958 [kids laughing] 43 00:02:02,041 --> 00:02:02,916 [grunts] 44 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:05,000 Hey, you missed. The yolk's on you. 45 00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:06,458 [kids grunting] 46 00:02:07,208 --> 00:02:08,458 ♪ They did the mash… ♪ 47 00:02:08,541 --> 00:02:10,041 Thanks for the free breakfast. 48 00:02:10,625 --> 00:02:11,708 ♪ The monster mash ♪ 49 00:02:12,375 --> 00:02:15,125 -♪ It was a graveyard smash ♪ -♪ They did the mash… ♪ 50 00:02:15,208 --> 00:02:16,750 Rocky Balboa style. 51 00:02:16,833 --> 00:02:18,416 [retching] 52 00:02:19,250 --> 00:02:20,833 ♪ They did the monster mash… ♪ 53 00:02:20,916 --> 00:02:23,166 I'm making the kids' costumes out of tinfoil 54 00:02:23,250 --> 00:02:25,000 'cause I'm old-school, Teresa. 55 00:02:25,083 --> 00:02:26,666 -Thanks! -[woman] Have fun! 56 00:02:27,916 --> 00:02:29,125 Violet Valentine. 57 00:02:39,875 --> 00:02:44,708 [recorded sinister laughter] 58 00:02:57,916 --> 00:02:59,750 ♪ It was a one-eyed, one-horned… ♪ 59 00:02:59,833 --> 00:03:02,000 [woman] Have a happy Halloween tomorrow, Hubie. 60 00:03:02,083 --> 00:03:05,083 You, too, Mrs. Banerjee. I hope you get more tricks than treats. 61 00:03:05,166 --> 00:03:09,583 -[Banerjee chuckles] -Okay. Number 59. Looking for 59. 62 00:03:11,375 --> 00:03:12,291 Yep! 63 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:15,083 Right here, Pubie. 64 00:03:16,041 --> 00:03:17,791 Give me a half-pound of roast beef. 65 00:03:18,416 --> 00:03:19,291 Mr. Landolfa… 66 00:03:19,375 --> 00:03:21,708 [stammers] …Hubie. With an H. 67 00:03:21,791 --> 00:03:23,708 Not anymore. [laughs] 68 00:03:23,791 --> 00:03:24,791 [Hubie] Okay. 69 00:03:24,875 --> 00:03:27,208 Mrs. Phillips, I'll be with you in a minute. 70 00:03:27,791 --> 00:03:29,791 Is that the first girl you ever talked to, Pubie? 71 00:03:29,875 --> 00:03:33,250 Hey, no. I talk to my girlfriend all the time. 72 00:03:33,333 --> 00:03:38,250 -I've never seen you with a girlfriend. -She is a Canadian resident of Canada. 73 00:03:38,708 --> 00:03:40,583 Uh, Canada Dry region. 74 00:03:40,666 --> 00:03:43,083 [Landolfa laughing] 75 00:03:44,541 --> 00:03:45,541 Mr. O'Doyle. 76 00:03:46,333 --> 00:03:49,666 Shouldn't you and your cohort be, uh, in school right now? 77 00:03:49,750 --> 00:03:51,750 -It's Sunday, dumbass. -[Hubie mutters] 78 00:03:51,833 --> 00:03:54,000 [Landolfa] Know what? I don't want the roast beef. 79 00:03:54,083 --> 00:03:57,083 -Give me some of the lamb's head. -Lamb's head? We don't have lamb's head. 80 00:03:57,166 --> 00:03:59,333 -No? What's that right there? -Which one? 81 00:03:59,416 --> 00:04:00,333 [shrieks] 82 00:04:00,416 --> 00:04:02,958 [screams] 83 00:04:03,041 --> 00:04:04,083 [all laughing] 84 00:04:04,166 --> 00:04:05,000 Got ya! 85 00:04:06,458 --> 00:04:08,166 It's fun working with you, always. 86 00:04:08,875 --> 00:04:12,208 [oldies rock music playing] 87 00:04:13,208 --> 00:04:14,416 -[loud crash] -[man groans] 88 00:04:14,500 --> 00:04:16,625 [laughing] 89 00:04:16,708 --> 00:04:17,666 That is a good one. 90 00:04:17,750 --> 00:04:19,875 [rings, clicks] 91 00:04:19,958 --> 00:04:21,375 Hey, you got Sergeant Downey. 92 00:04:21,458 --> 00:04:23,833 Hey, Steve. It's Kenny Fonda with the Westford PD. 93 00:04:23,916 --> 00:04:26,125 -How you doin' there, Kenny? -[Kenny] Good, buddy. Good. 94 00:04:26,208 --> 00:04:28,333 Hey, I just wanted to give you a heads-up. 95 00:04:28,416 --> 00:04:31,041 We had someone escape from the psych ward up here. 96 00:04:31,125 --> 00:04:32,833 A guy from your neck of the woods. 97 00:04:32,916 --> 00:04:33,750 Richard Hartman. 98 00:04:35,666 --> 00:04:36,666 Wow, uh… 99 00:04:37,500 --> 00:04:40,416 Richie Hartman's been locked up since Carter was president. 100 00:04:40,500 --> 00:04:42,291 [Kenny] Yeah. Just thought you might wanna know 101 00:04:42,375 --> 00:04:44,375 in case he gets sentimental for his hometown. 102 00:04:44,875 --> 00:04:47,125 And didn't you testify against him, Steve? 103 00:04:47,208 --> 00:04:49,708 He doesn't strike me as a forgive-and-forget type. 104 00:04:50,583 --> 00:04:53,833 Yeah, but you know what? I hope he comes looking for me. 105 00:04:54,458 --> 00:04:56,416 'Cause he will be in a world of pain. 106 00:04:56,500 --> 00:04:57,375 -Of pain-- -[loud slam] 107 00:04:57,458 --> 00:04:59,208 -[screams gibberish] -[Kenny chuckles] 108 00:04:59,291 --> 00:05:01,166 -[Kenny] What the hell? -I gotta go, Kenny. 109 00:05:03,291 --> 00:05:05,166 -Hubie, what do you want? -Hey, Officer Steve. 110 00:05:05,250 --> 00:05:10,291 I saw Andy O'Doyle buying suspiciously massive amount of eggs and toilet paper. 111 00:05:10,375 --> 00:05:13,416 -Not a crime to buy eggs or toilet paper. -Oh, yeah. That goes without saying. 112 00:05:13,500 --> 00:05:16,291 But it doesn't take Sherlock Holmes to deduce malicious intent. 113 00:05:16,375 --> 00:05:20,458 -Okay. Yeah. -Lambardi's Pizza's doin' a sale tomorrow. 114 00:05:20,541 --> 00:05:24,500 One slice, one soda, one dollar, if you wear a costume to the shop. 115 00:05:24,583 --> 00:05:27,916 To me, that's a great deal, but it's also a riot waiting to happen. 116 00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:28,875 Call the hotline. 117 00:05:28,958 --> 00:05:30,250 I did call the hotline 100 times, 118 00:05:30,333 --> 00:05:32,708 but I think you guys got a connection problem. 119 00:05:32,791 --> 00:05:33,625 [phone rings] 120 00:05:33,708 --> 00:05:36,458 -Salem PD. -Yes. Your officer, this is Hubie Dubo-- 121 00:05:36,541 --> 00:05:37,666 [Steve clears throat] 122 00:05:39,708 --> 00:05:41,083 -Hubie, get in here. -Okay. 123 00:05:41,166 --> 00:05:42,958 -Bring it in here. Get in here. -What's up? 124 00:05:43,041 --> 00:05:45,166 Now, it's Halloween. In Salem. 125 00:05:45,250 --> 00:05:48,000 And I got a lot of real issues on my plate. 126 00:05:48,083 --> 00:05:49,416 -[Hubie] I know. -[tires screech] 127 00:05:49,500 --> 00:05:50,750 [Andy] Look who's here. 128 00:05:50,833 --> 00:05:54,250 -[boy 1] Hubie! -[boy 2] Hubie! 129 00:05:55,083 --> 00:05:56,250 -Do we do-- -Get out of here! 130 00:05:56,333 --> 00:05:57,375 Over and out-- [thuds] 131 00:05:59,041 --> 00:05:59,875 [clicks] 132 00:05:59,958 --> 00:06:01,750 -[boys clamoring] -[Andy] Guys, let's get him! 133 00:06:01,833 --> 00:06:04,333 [boys shouting] Come on! Come on! 134 00:06:04,416 --> 00:06:07,583 ♪ Happy Halloween Happy Halloween ♪ 135 00:06:08,583 --> 00:06:11,166 ♪ Happy Halloween Happy Halloween… ♪ 136 00:06:11,250 --> 00:06:12,375 [boys shouting, taunting] 137 00:06:12,458 --> 00:06:14,875 ♪ Happy Halloween Happy Halloween… ♪ 138 00:06:14,958 --> 00:06:15,833 [boy 1] Eat some shit! 139 00:06:15,916 --> 00:06:18,000 ♪ Happy Halloween Happy Halloween… ♪ 140 00:06:18,083 --> 00:06:20,000 -[boys laughing] -[boy 2] Catch this! 141 00:06:20,375 --> 00:06:24,041 -[boy 1] Go! -[boys taunting, laughing] 142 00:06:24,333 --> 00:06:26,875 ♪ Trick-or-treat Sing the song with us... ♪ 143 00:06:27,250 --> 00:06:28,083 Snitch. 144 00:06:28,166 --> 00:06:29,416 -[grunts] -[thuds] 145 00:06:29,500 --> 00:06:30,375 [Hubie] Why? 146 00:06:30,875 --> 00:06:32,958 [boys laughing, shouting] 147 00:06:33,041 --> 00:06:34,875 [boy 3] He flew like 25 feet! 148 00:06:36,708 --> 00:06:37,666 Well, hello, there. 149 00:06:38,541 --> 00:06:39,375 You need a hand? 150 00:06:43,500 --> 00:06:45,875 Boy, that was quite a tumble you took there, fella. 151 00:06:45,958 --> 00:06:46,833 Nope. That's-- 152 00:06:47,541 --> 00:06:49,708 Nothing broken, physically speaking. 153 00:06:49,791 --> 00:06:51,875 Well, it's not right what those hooligans did. 154 00:06:51,958 --> 00:06:55,125 We gotta expect a scare here or there. Kids being kids. 155 00:06:55,208 --> 00:06:58,958 -Oh, say, that's some heck of a thermos. -[Hubie] Yeah, that's my baby. 156 00:06:59,041 --> 00:07:03,250 It's kind of like a Swiss Army thermos. I made it when I was in the Scouts. 157 00:07:03,333 --> 00:07:05,333 Maybe you've had enough bike riding for one day. 158 00:07:05,416 --> 00:07:08,250 -How about if I give you a lift home? -You're not gonna have to drive far. 159 00:07:08,333 --> 00:07:10,083 'Cause I live right over here. 160 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:13,458 Oh. 161 00:07:14,291 --> 00:07:16,166 Wow. [chuckles] 162 00:07:16,250 --> 00:07:18,125 Your kids must have helped you with all of this. 163 00:07:18,208 --> 00:07:21,041 Oh, yeah, I don't have any kids. As far as I know. 164 00:07:21,125 --> 00:07:22,250 [laughs] 165 00:07:22,333 --> 00:07:23,666 No, I definitely don't. 166 00:07:23,750 --> 00:07:25,958 I do have a girlfriend. She lives up in Canada. 167 00:07:26,041 --> 00:07:28,291 Northern section. Ontarionto. 168 00:07:28,375 --> 00:07:30,625 So, you probably couldn't find her up there. 169 00:07:31,500 --> 00:07:34,916 -Ah. Look at those purple mums. -Mom planted those. 170 00:07:35,041 --> 00:07:37,708 And you gotta love the old-school ghost you got working over there. 171 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,083 [Hubie] Yep. 172 00:07:40,166 --> 00:07:41,458 Scary ghost. Yes. 173 00:07:42,083 --> 00:07:44,333 And looks like we're neighbors. 174 00:07:44,416 --> 00:07:46,625 'Cause I just moved in right there this morning. 175 00:07:46,708 --> 00:07:48,833 -[Hubie] You moved here? -I'm Walter Lambert. 176 00:07:49,416 --> 00:07:50,250 Hubie Dubois. 177 00:07:50,333 --> 00:07:52,166 It's a pleasure, Hubie. I'll tell you what. 178 00:07:52,250 --> 00:07:55,708 I'm gonna invite you and Mom over for dinner once I get my kitchen set up, 179 00:07:55,791 --> 00:07:58,083 'cause I make the best chili east side of the Rockies. 180 00:07:58,166 --> 00:08:00,625 Ooh. My belly just said yes for the both of us. 181 00:08:00,708 --> 00:08:02,125 [farts] 182 00:08:02,208 --> 00:08:04,416 And your butt just made some room. 183 00:08:04,500 --> 00:08:07,875 They must've got loosened out of me with the landing. 184 00:08:07,958 --> 00:08:09,583 -It's-- it's fine. It's natural. -It is. 185 00:08:09,666 --> 00:08:10,541 -Yeah. -Thanks. 186 00:08:10,625 --> 00:08:12,875 Anyway, you take care, Hubie. All right? 187 00:08:12,958 --> 00:08:15,166 -Yeah. -And have a happy Halloween. 188 00:08:15,250 --> 00:08:16,541 Oh, and Hubie. 189 00:08:17,375 --> 00:08:19,375 If you ever hear some commotion 190 00:08:19,458 --> 00:08:22,458 coming from my house, it's nothing to be concerned about. 191 00:08:22,541 --> 00:08:25,458 So, you don't need to come over and check on me or anything. 192 00:08:25,541 --> 00:08:27,500 In fact, it's important that you don't. 193 00:08:29,166 --> 00:08:30,375 Sure thing, Mr. Lambert. 194 00:08:31,625 --> 00:08:32,458 Walter. 195 00:08:35,083 --> 00:08:36,000 Hey, I'm home. 196 00:08:36,541 --> 00:08:39,458 -[shrieking laughter] -[Hubie screams] Ah! No! Ah! 197 00:08:39,541 --> 00:08:41,208 [skeleton warbles] 198 00:08:41,291 --> 00:08:44,333 [woman] Did that darn skeleton frighten you again, Hubie? 199 00:08:44,416 --> 00:08:48,291 No! I was just practicing yelling, Mom. Everything's good. 200 00:08:48,375 --> 00:08:52,875 Oh, dear boy. This town is making you so jittery. 201 00:08:52,958 --> 00:08:54,291 It just breaks my heart. 202 00:08:54,375 --> 00:08:56,500 I'm fine. Is that a new shirt? 203 00:08:57,541 --> 00:09:01,250 Mrs. Banerjee and I went to the thrift store today. 204 00:09:01,333 --> 00:09:03,791 Guess how much? Fifty cents! 205 00:09:03,875 --> 00:09:06,791 "Boner donor?" Now, what does that even mean? 206 00:09:06,875 --> 00:09:10,000 Well, I think boner's another word for a mistake. 207 00:09:10,583 --> 00:09:14,083 Like, I made a big boner in math class. 208 00:09:14,166 --> 00:09:17,583 So, maybe boner donor means I donate mistakes. 209 00:09:17,666 --> 00:09:18,791 That makes sense. 210 00:09:18,875 --> 00:09:22,958 I met the fellow who moved into the Andersons' house next door. 211 00:09:23,041 --> 00:09:25,208 Walter Lambert. Seemed like good people. 212 00:09:25,291 --> 00:09:27,333 -Oh, well, that's nice. -Yeah. 213 00:09:27,416 --> 00:09:29,666 Some improvement over those Andersons. 214 00:09:29,750 --> 00:09:32,416 The way they used to toss firecrackers at you. 215 00:09:32,500 --> 00:09:34,000 Oh, no. That was the Epsteins. 216 00:09:34,083 --> 00:09:36,875 The Andersons used to throw garbage into my bedroom window. 217 00:09:36,958 --> 00:09:40,791 Well, who was it chased you around the yard with a tennis racket? 218 00:09:40,875 --> 00:09:41,958 That was Dad. 219 00:09:42,041 --> 00:09:43,750 God rest his soul. 220 00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:45,833 -Oh, for sure. -[Mom] Cookies are done. 221 00:09:45,916 --> 00:09:47,583 You wanna help me frost 'em? 222 00:09:47,666 --> 00:09:49,791 -Can I lick the spoon, or… -[Mom] Deal! 223 00:09:49,875 --> 00:09:50,708 Okay. 224 00:09:50,791 --> 00:09:57,458 [chuckles] Now, I know that Halloween is very special to you, sweet boy. 225 00:09:57,541 --> 00:10:00,416 It's been your favorite holiday since you were knee-high. 226 00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:05,958 Well, we're Jewish, so that eliminated Christmas and Easter and Ash Wednesday. 227 00:10:06,041 --> 00:10:07,375 [grunts] 228 00:10:08,958 --> 00:10:10,041 -[jar pops] -[Mom exhales] 229 00:10:10,125 --> 00:10:14,125 And I am so proud at how hard you work 230 00:10:14,208 --> 00:10:18,166 to make sure that Halloween is safe and fun for everyone in this town. 231 00:10:18,250 --> 00:10:20,291 I'm sensin' a big "but" coming. 232 00:10:20,375 --> 00:10:21,958 -But… -Okay. 233 00:10:22,041 --> 00:10:27,041 …this town is as full of bullies now as it ever was in the 1600s. 234 00:10:28,166 --> 00:10:30,791 You have to learn to stand up for yourself. 235 00:10:32,500 --> 00:10:33,458 I just get scared. 236 00:10:34,083 --> 00:10:35,625 I know you do. 237 00:10:35,708 --> 00:10:37,083 We all get scared. 238 00:10:37,708 --> 00:10:42,458 But this year, you're gonna have to find that bravery that's deep within you. 239 00:10:42,541 --> 00:10:43,625 It's time. 240 00:10:54,666 --> 00:10:55,916 Ah, the good old days. 241 00:10:57,166 --> 00:10:59,958 When the town toughs only used to throw crab apples. 242 00:11:04,458 --> 00:11:08,125 Ah, Officer Steve. You always had it going on. 243 00:11:09,166 --> 00:11:12,458 "Most likely to marry his pillow." Still don't get that one. 244 00:11:17,916 --> 00:11:19,166 "Most friendly." 245 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:20,833 "Most popular." 246 00:11:21,750 --> 00:11:22,583 "Best looking." 247 00:11:23,166 --> 00:11:24,500 The high school hat trick. 248 00:11:25,291 --> 00:11:27,166 Could not have happened to a nicer woman. 249 00:11:32,708 --> 00:11:35,541 Maybe if I wasn't such a scaredy-cat like mom was sayin', 250 00:11:36,541 --> 00:11:37,875 I would have asked you out. 251 00:11:38,375 --> 00:11:42,333 And the cutest couple would have been Violet and Hubie. 252 00:11:44,166 --> 00:11:45,291 -[pounding] -[screams] 253 00:11:45,375 --> 00:11:47,750 Monster! [screams] 254 00:11:48,291 --> 00:11:50,291 [Mom] Hubie, what was that? 255 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:52,833 Sorry, Mom! I'll clean that up! 256 00:11:56,583 --> 00:11:58,166 [Mom] Did you make a messy? 257 00:11:58,750 --> 00:12:01,583 [Hubie] I said I would clean it up! It's not a big deal! 258 00:12:02,041 --> 00:12:05,666 [Mom] What are you cleaning up? Did you have an accident? 259 00:12:05,750 --> 00:12:08,000 [Hubie] No! It wasn't an accident. 260 00:12:08,083 --> 00:12:09,750 [Mom] It was on purpose? 261 00:12:09,833 --> 00:12:10,708 [Hubie] Mom! 262 00:12:19,416 --> 00:12:21,208 [trickling] 263 00:12:27,625 --> 00:12:29,833 [Violet] Okay, kids, you can't have candy for breakfast, 264 00:12:29,916 --> 00:12:32,083 but you can sprinkle some on top of your cereal. 265 00:12:32,166 --> 00:12:33,458 -[girl 1] Yes! -[girl 2] Oh, yeah! 266 00:12:33,541 --> 00:12:37,000 [segment intro music playing] 267 00:12:37,083 --> 00:12:39,500 Welcome back. You're Watching Wake Up Boston. 268 00:12:39,583 --> 00:12:43,250 And it's October 31st, which is a special day across the country, 269 00:12:43,333 --> 00:12:48,041 but most especially in Salem, America's unofficial Halloween capital. 270 00:12:48,125 --> 00:12:51,333 And it's gonna be a great day in Salem. Right, Jenna Thomas? 271 00:12:51,416 --> 00:12:54,708 Yes, Erin. Clear and a balmy 61 degrees. 272 00:12:54,791 --> 00:12:57,666 Ready for trick-or-treating and all the spooky stuff. 273 00:12:57,750 --> 00:13:00,125 Ooh! Get that candy, kids. 274 00:13:00,208 --> 00:13:04,250 And now, Wake Up Boston's Tracy Phillips is live with the Mayor of Salem, 275 00:13:04,333 --> 00:13:07,708 David Benson, and-- Tracy, you went with Harley Quinn, too? 276 00:13:07,791 --> 00:13:09,166 Sure did, Erin. 277 00:13:09,250 --> 00:13:12,791 Only one day a year you get to show your ex what he's missin'. 278 00:13:12,875 --> 00:13:14,125 Hey! 279 00:13:14,208 --> 00:13:15,833 You know it. Ooh! Ooh! 280 00:13:15,916 --> 00:13:17,500 -Ooh! Ooh! -Yeah! 281 00:13:17,583 --> 00:13:20,291 So, Mayor Benson, the sun sets in eight short hours, 282 00:13:20,375 --> 00:13:23,958 but the spooky preparations are in full swing around here. 283 00:13:24,041 --> 00:13:25,291 Indeed it is, Tracy. 284 00:13:25,375 --> 00:13:29,625 As you can see, we're already setting up our world-famous Halloween parade. 285 00:13:29,708 --> 00:13:32,583 And a few blocks over, we got a street fair. 286 00:13:32,666 --> 00:13:35,833 And you're expecting some pretty impressive crowds here this evening. 287 00:13:35,916 --> 00:13:39,708 Oh, we're expecting over 70,000 people to visit Salem this evening. 288 00:13:39,791 --> 00:13:45,125 Well, I know where I'm gonna be tonight. Reporting from Salem, Tracy Phillips. 289 00:13:45,208 --> 00:13:46,875 -Back to you, Erin. -[marching band playing] 290 00:13:48,125 --> 00:13:50,125 -[Steve] Is this the way you found him? -[man] Yeah. 291 00:13:50,875 --> 00:13:52,541 And I was gonna take poor Peanut 292 00:13:52,625 --> 00:13:55,750 to the Halloween Carnival tonight for the petting zoo. 293 00:13:55,833 --> 00:13:58,875 But what kid would wanna pet a pig that look like that? 294 00:13:59,708 --> 00:14:02,083 Did you hear anything or see anything unusual last night? 295 00:14:02,166 --> 00:14:05,458 Well, I woke up 'cause the animals sounded agitated, 296 00:14:05,541 --> 00:14:09,875 and then I heard poor Peanut make a God-awful squeal. 297 00:14:09,958 --> 00:14:11,958 [imitating squealing] 298 00:14:12,500 --> 00:14:14,500 Squealin' like he was callin' for his daddy! 299 00:14:14,583 --> 00:14:16,083 You know what I think done it? 300 00:14:16,541 --> 00:14:17,541 A werewolf. 301 00:14:18,375 --> 00:14:21,583 Think you've been watching too many scary movies, Louise. 302 00:14:21,666 --> 00:14:25,250 And I think you've been eating too many of your own boogers, Dan. 303 00:14:25,333 --> 00:14:28,416 Oh, at least my mama don't stink the toilet up so bad, 304 00:14:28,500 --> 00:14:30,166 we gotta get rid of the shower curtain. 305 00:14:30,250 --> 00:14:33,416 Oh, you gonna bring up my mama in front of the police, huh? 306 00:14:33,500 --> 00:14:35,916 Ain't nobody say nothin' 'bout your big-ass mama. 307 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:38,041 She come in the house and broke all the furniture. 308 00:14:38,125 --> 00:14:39,625 My mom wouldn't break up the furniture 309 00:14:39,708 --> 00:14:42,916 if you hadn't bought that cheap Ikea stuff and put it together with a butter knife! 310 00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:46,000 Well, if I had a real man, then I wouldn't have to do it myself now, would I? 311 00:14:46,083 --> 00:14:47,458 [Dan] Peanut's dead! 312 00:14:47,541 --> 00:14:49,166 We gonna eat Peanut tonight! 313 00:14:49,250 --> 00:14:51,333 [crowd chattering] 314 00:14:52,625 --> 00:14:53,958 [man] Look at these nerds. 315 00:14:54,041 --> 00:14:57,208 Unbelievable. You can say a lot of things about me, I was never a nerd. 316 00:14:57,791 --> 00:14:59,333 Hey, pimples! 317 00:15:00,291 --> 00:15:01,875 Pubie! 318 00:15:01,958 --> 00:15:04,125 Pubie? Uh, who's-- who's Pubie? 319 00:15:04,208 --> 00:15:06,875 You are, Pubie. Landolfa called you that yesterday. 320 00:15:06,958 --> 00:15:07,958 Hilarious. 321 00:15:08,041 --> 00:15:11,125 Janitor, some drunk guy dressed as Captain Underpants 322 00:15:11,208 --> 00:15:13,083 just threw up in the jail exhibit. 323 00:15:13,166 --> 00:15:16,333 That's my cue. Call me if you get lonely, Violet. 324 00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:17,750 Don't call me. 325 00:15:17,833 --> 00:15:18,875 [groans] 326 00:15:18,958 --> 00:15:21,000 Wasn't plannin' on it. Hey, Dot. 327 00:15:21,083 --> 00:15:23,541 So, I saw there were massive lines out front. 328 00:15:23,625 --> 00:15:27,208 I took the liberty to print up some happy Halloween word searches. 329 00:15:27,291 --> 00:15:28,541 You can pass it out to the kids. 330 00:15:28,625 --> 00:15:30,458 Give them something to do while they're waiting. 331 00:15:30,541 --> 00:15:31,750 Oh, Hubie, how lovely. 332 00:15:31,833 --> 00:15:33,375 Thank you so much. 333 00:15:33,458 --> 00:15:34,291 Of course. 334 00:15:38,500 --> 00:15:40,583 So, Violet Valentine. 335 00:15:40,666 --> 00:15:42,333 Good to see you. Happy Halloween. 336 00:15:42,416 --> 00:15:44,250 -Thank you. -What brings you here? 337 00:15:44,333 --> 00:15:46,458 I am chaperoning my daughter's field trip. 338 00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:49,083 She's over there. Danielle! Danielle! 339 00:15:49,166 --> 00:15:50,416 Say hello to Hubie. 340 00:15:50,958 --> 00:15:52,750 Hi, Hubie. What school do you go to? 341 00:15:53,416 --> 00:15:56,416 No. He's a grown man. I've known him since kindergarten. 342 00:15:56,500 --> 00:15:58,750 Yes. We had Miss Colestice's class together. 343 00:15:58,833 --> 00:16:00,875 -Yes, we did. -You were the first kid to get earrings. 344 00:16:00,958 --> 00:16:01,875 [chuckles] I was. 345 00:16:01,958 --> 00:16:05,000 Oh, I'm sorry. I just thought 'cause of the thermos. 346 00:16:05,083 --> 00:16:06,750 Oh, why? Do you want some soup? 347 00:16:06,833 --> 00:16:09,083 -Uh, no, thanks. -Your friends? 348 00:16:09,625 --> 00:16:11,125 All right. It's here if you want it. 349 00:16:14,250 --> 00:16:16,083 -[laughing] What was that? -What was that about? 350 00:16:16,166 --> 00:16:20,416 What a nice young lady. I remember you just had a foster son. 351 00:16:20,500 --> 00:16:23,250 Yeah. Well, I've got two foster daughters now as well. 352 00:16:23,666 --> 00:16:25,833 Huh. That's quite commendable. 353 00:16:25,916 --> 00:16:28,375 Looking out for the community. That's important. 354 00:16:28,458 --> 00:16:31,541 Of course. That's my great-great-great-great-great grandmother. 355 00:16:31,625 --> 00:16:35,000 She saw some bad things happening, but she spoke out. 356 00:16:35,083 --> 00:16:37,000 Said there's no such thing as witches. 357 00:16:37,458 --> 00:16:39,625 -Very brave. -Yeah, maybe too brave. 358 00:16:39,708 --> 00:16:42,708 'Cause they called her a witch and ended up like this fella. 359 00:16:42,791 --> 00:16:44,833 -[Violet] Ooh. -[Hubie] The unfortunate dangling Dave. 360 00:16:44,916 --> 00:16:46,625 God, I love the way you phrase things. 361 00:16:48,166 --> 00:16:49,000 Okay. 362 00:16:50,875 --> 00:16:54,791 So, how are you and Officer Steve doing? I saw him yesterday in his squad car. 363 00:16:54,875 --> 00:16:58,041 We were talking shop. You know, code 10-4, 10-5. That kinda thing. 364 00:16:58,125 --> 00:17:00,250 Well, since we've been divorced four years, 365 00:17:00,333 --> 00:17:03,750 -I don't really know how he's doing. -Oh, well, don't lose faith. 366 00:17:03,833 --> 00:17:05,583 You guys will get through this rough patch. 367 00:17:06,166 --> 00:17:07,458 Did you hear about the Andersons? 368 00:17:07,541 --> 00:17:10,333 I met the fellow who moved into their home. A Walter Lambert. 369 00:17:10,416 --> 00:17:11,625 Seems like a decent guy. 370 00:17:11,708 --> 00:17:13,166 -[Violet] Walter Lambert? -Yeah. 371 00:17:13,250 --> 00:17:17,625 There's a Walter Lambert buried right near my grandpa in the Pine Street Cemetery. 372 00:17:17,708 --> 00:17:18,541 Okay. 373 00:17:18,625 --> 00:17:22,375 I only remember that name because there is something off about his tombstone. 374 00:17:22,458 --> 00:17:25,250 -Off how? -Well, I know you, Hubie Dubois. 375 00:17:25,333 --> 00:17:26,750 -Mm-hmm. -You'll see. 376 00:17:28,541 --> 00:17:29,416 Okay. 377 00:17:29,500 --> 00:17:35,375 ♪ Did you ever know That you're my hero? ♪ 378 00:17:35,458 --> 00:17:36,416 [women crying] 379 00:17:36,500 --> 00:17:40,875 ♪ And everything I'd like to be? ♪ 380 00:17:41,750 --> 00:17:47,583 ♪ I could fly higher than an eagle ♪ 381 00:17:49,250 --> 00:17:53,375 ♪ 'Cause you are the wind Beneath my wings ♪ 382 00:17:54,083 --> 00:17:58,750 ♪ Did you ever know That you're my hero? ♪ 383 00:17:59,708 --> 00:18:05,375 ♪ You're everything, everything I wish I could be ♪ 384 00:18:06,750 --> 00:18:12,625 ♪ I could fly higher than an eagle… ♪ 385 00:18:12,708 --> 00:18:14,625 What is that fool doing here? 386 00:18:14,708 --> 00:18:15,583 No clue. 387 00:18:16,333 --> 00:18:20,000 -You want me to kick his ass, Father? -Not yet. But stay close. 388 00:18:20,583 --> 00:18:21,708 [clicking] 389 00:18:26,375 --> 00:18:28,250 That concludes our service. 390 00:18:28,333 --> 00:18:31,083 The family has invited you all to a luncheon. 391 00:18:31,791 --> 00:18:32,875 [Hubie grunting] 392 00:18:32,958 --> 00:18:37,416 A luncheon at the, uh, Captain's Table on Foster Street. Thank you. 393 00:18:42,666 --> 00:18:43,916 He never died? 394 00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:47,708 Boobie! What are you doing? 395 00:18:48,375 --> 00:18:49,791 Nothing. What are you doing? 396 00:18:50,250 --> 00:18:51,833 I'm officiating a funeral. 397 00:18:51,916 --> 00:18:53,000 On Halloween? 398 00:18:53,083 --> 00:18:55,333 People die every day, dummy. They don't skip holidays. 399 00:18:55,416 --> 00:18:57,208 -Even April Fool's Day? -Shut it. 400 00:18:58,041 --> 00:19:00,625 And if you get dirt on my good funeral shoes again, 401 00:19:00,708 --> 00:19:02,291 I'm gonna bury one up your butt. 402 00:19:02,375 --> 00:19:04,125 Okay. You want some soup? 403 00:19:04,208 --> 00:19:05,708 No, I don't want some s-- 404 00:19:05,791 --> 00:19:08,291 -Good to wash off the dirt. -Here, let me help you. 405 00:19:09,458 --> 00:19:10,291 Oh, is this-- 406 00:19:10,750 --> 00:19:12,291 Condolences, by the way. 407 00:19:12,375 --> 00:19:15,291 And I love the Wicked Witch costume. It's classic. 408 00:19:15,375 --> 00:19:16,541 It's not a costume. 409 00:19:16,625 --> 00:19:18,291 Not a costume? Okay. My boner. 410 00:19:19,541 --> 00:19:21,708 [woman] Why he talk about his boner? 411 00:19:21,791 --> 00:19:24,458 Hello, Hubes. What did you do wrong? 412 00:19:24,541 --> 00:19:25,625 I don't think anything. 413 00:19:25,708 --> 00:19:27,833 By the way, I wanted to say that I'm sorry 414 00:19:27,916 --> 00:19:30,416 for my attitude yesterday at the deli counter. 415 00:19:30,500 --> 00:19:33,666 [stammers] My dad, you know, he died unexpected, 416 00:19:33,750 --> 00:19:36,083 and I just haven't been myself these past few days. 417 00:19:36,166 --> 00:19:38,750 This is your dad's funeral? I'm so sorry. I didn't-- 418 00:19:39,291 --> 00:19:41,458 My father passed away a couple of years ago. 419 00:19:41,541 --> 00:19:43,416 It is very painful. It's-- 420 00:19:43,500 --> 00:19:47,708 -Ups and downs, emotionally. -Yeah. My dad was a serious man. 421 00:19:47,791 --> 00:19:51,541 He worked hard every single day of his life. 422 00:19:51,625 --> 00:19:52,458 Mm-hmm. 423 00:19:52,541 --> 00:19:54,208 -But he did love to laugh. -Okay. 424 00:19:54,291 --> 00:19:56,875 And I know he would get a great chuckle out of this. 425 00:19:56,958 --> 00:19:57,833 [screams, thuds] 426 00:19:57,916 --> 00:20:01,000 [laughing maniacally] 427 00:20:01,083 --> 00:20:02,416 Have fun, Pubes. 428 00:20:02,500 --> 00:20:04,458 [shouting in Italian] 429 00:20:04,541 --> 00:20:06,708 Ma! He's an idiota, deficiente! 430 00:20:07,750 --> 00:20:08,791 Disrespectful? 431 00:20:09,333 --> 00:20:11,000 No, this is good. 432 00:20:11,708 --> 00:20:13,625 We want him in the hole. 433 00:20:14,375 --> 00:20:16,083 God would want this. 434 00:20:21,041 --> 00:20:22,375 Somebody's down here! 435 00:20:22,458 --> 00:20:24,708 Ah! The dead speak! 436 00:20:26,041 --> 00:20:27,416 -[thuds] -[Hubie] Oh, my soup! 437 00:20:28,541 --> 00:20:30,708 [Aurora on radio] It's not even dark yet here in Salem, 438 00:20:30,791 --> 00:20:33,458 but the spooky vibes are gettin' heavy, baby. 439 00:20:33,541 --> 00:20:35,833 We'll get through it together here on… 440 00:20:35,916 --> 00:20:38,166 ♪ WCC8 ♪ 441 00:20:38,250 --> 00:20:41,208 [woman, in a spooky voice] Halloween central. 442 00:20:41,291 --> 00:20:42,500 [pounding] 443 00:20:43,583 --> 00:20:44,416 [Hubie] Mr. Lambert. 444 00:20:45,583 --> 00:20:46,541 What are you up to? 445 00:20:47,250 --> 00:20:49,375 Hubie. Yeah. 446 00:20:50,041 --> 00:20:50,875 I wa-- 447 00:20:51,583 --> 00:20:54,500 Last night, I thought I felt a little draft. So… 448 00:20:55,083 --> 00:20:58,458 Yeah, that October wind will-- it'll sneak up on you. 449 00:20:59,041 --> 00:21:00,083 Sure does. 450 00:21:02,458 --> 00:21:03,541 Say, Mr. Lambert. 451 00:21:05,208 --> 00:21:06,083 How old are you? 452 00:21:10,250 --> 00:21:11,583 You mean in human years? 453 00:21:12,250 --> 00:21:13,083 Yes. 454 00:21:13,875 --> 00:21:16,958 I don't really believe in keeping track of that kind of thing, Hubie. 455 00:21:17,666 --> 00:21:19,666 You know, age is just a state of mind. 456 00:21:21,458 --> 00:21:23,875 That's why I played T-ball till I was 25. 457 00:21:24,958 --> 00:21:25,916 Hubie Dubois. 458 00:21:31,916 --> 00:21:33,541 [school bell ringing] 459 00:21:33,625 --> 00:21:35,166 I can't believe it's finally Halloween. 460 00:21:35,250 --> 00:21:38,333 My parents got me a royal princess dress from the Disney Store. 461 00:21:38,416 --> 00:21:40,875 -Cooky, what are you gonna dress up as? -A robot. 462 00:21:40,958 --> 00:21:43,708 You should go as a girl who doesn't even know who her real parents are. 463 00:21:43,791 --> 00:21:45,625 Oh, that's who you are every day. 464 00:21:45,708 --> 00:21:46,708 [kids laugh] 465 00:21:46,791 --> 00:21:47,625 [woman] O'Doyle! 466 00:21:47,708 --> 00:21:49,416 -[pounds] -[Andy] Yes, Miss Taylor? 467 00:21:49,500 --> 00:21:52,541 Maybe you should go as a butt-faced, red-haired piece of dog puke 468 00:21:52,625 --> 00:21:55,750 who's reading at a second-grade level even though he's 11. 469 00:21:55,833 --> 00:21:58,625 [kids laughing] Ooh! 470 00:21:58,708 --> 00:22:01,750 [man] Attention, first through sixth graders. 471 00:22:01,833 --> 00:22:05,625 We have a special presentation today in lieu of recess. 472 00:22:05,708 --> 00:22:08,166 [kids groaning] 473 00:22:08,250 --> 00:22:11,541 Here again to talk about Halloween safety 474 00:22:11,625 --> 00:22:16,875 is Salem's Official Volunteer Halloween Helper, 475 00:22:17,416 --> 00:22:18,916 Hubert Dubois. 476 00:22:19,375 --> 00:22:22,416 [Hubie muttering, warbling] 477 00:22:22,500 --> 00:22:23,500 Oh, God. 478 00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:30,750 [Hubie continues muttering, warbling] 479 00:22:31,625 --> 00:22:33,125 [girl] Are those pee stains? 480 00:22:33,208 --> 00:22:35,208 [kids giggling] 481 00:22:37,583 --> 00:22:39,791 Hello, Webster Elementary School. 482 00:22:39,875 --> 00:22:42,708 I am not a ghost, but I play one on TV. 483 00:22:46,791 --> 00:22:48,000 Just playing. 484 00:22:48,083 --> 00:22:52,208 My name is Hubie Dubois, and I am here to tell you that Halloween is fun, 485 00:22:52,291 --> 00:22:55,166 but we must stay out of the danger zone. 486 00:22:55,250 --> 00:22:59,333 [kids jeering, clamoring] 487 00:22:59,416 --> 00:23:01,208 Hey! Hey! Hey! 488 00:23:01,291 --> 00:23:04,083 Let him speak. He's a human being! 489 00:23:08,666 --> 00:23:11,500 Thank you, sir. I would like a word with you all. 490 00:23:11,958 --> 00:23:13,041 And that word is… 491 00:23:16,291 --> 00:23:18,000 G-ghost? 492 00:23:18,083 --> 00:23:22,875 Ghost. Scary. But also the key to Halloween safety. 493 00:23:23,541 --> 00:23:24,375 The G. 494 00:23:25,083 --> 00:23:27,125 -What could the G stand for? -Go home? 495 00:23:27,791 --> 00:23:29,583 No. Give. 496 00:23:29,666 --> 00:23:33,041 Give to the less fortunate. Does anyone know what less fortunate is? 497 00:23:34,708 --> 00:23:36,666 -Yes, sir. -It means someone who needs help. 498 00:23:36,750 --> 00:23:38,375 Very good. What's your name? 499 00:23:38,458 --> 00:23:40,541 -Cooky. -Well, you're a smart cookie. 500 00:23:41,458 --> 00:23:44,916 When I was young, I used to build a tower with all my candy. 501 00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:48,666 And all the candy that was part of the tower before it collapsed, 502 00:23:48,750 --> 00:23:50,250 I would keep for myself. 503 00:23:50,333 --> 00:23:54,416 The leftover candy, I would donate to the homeless shelter. 504 00:23:54,500 --> 00:23:56,125 Is that where you live? 505 00:23:56,208 --> 00:23:57,041 Well, son-- 506 00:23:57,125 --> 00:23:58,708 [screaming] 507 00:23:58,791 --> 00:24:00,541 Burn him! 508 00:24:00,625 --> 00:24:02,625 -[crying] -Oh. 509 00:24:03,375 --> 00:24:04,875 I'm sorry, son. I just-- 510 00:24:05,500 --> 00:24:06,916 Please-- please don't cry. 511 00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:10,041 [kids screaming, jeering] 512 00:24:10,125 --> 00:24:11,125 ♪ Happy Halloween ♪ 513 00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:14,750 ♪ Happy Halloween Happy Halloween ♪ 514 00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:17,625 ♪ Happy Halloween Happy Halloween… ♪ 515 00:24:17,708 --> 00:24:18,958 I feel bad for him. 516 00:24:19,875 --> 00:24:22,625 Yeah. No, baby. He overstayed his welcome. 517 00:24:22,708 --> 00:24:26,708 [kids continue screaming, jeering] 518 00:24:31,250 --> 00:24:32,750 We're out of food, I guess. Yeah? 519 00:24:33,583 --> 00:24:35,000 [kids laughing] 520 00:24:38,166 --> 00:24:40,166 [entrance bell jangles] 521 00:24:41,541 --> 00:24:43,416 Hey. What can I get you guys? 522 00:24:43,500 --> 00:24:46,541 Hi. Can I get a black coffee? 523 00:24:47,333 --> 00:24:48,208 Coffee? 524 00:24:48,625 --> 00:24:51,750 -Not hot chocolate? -Oh, I don't drink hot chocolate anymore. 525 00:24:51,833 --> 00:24:54,083 -You had one this morning. -Well, I quit. 526 00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:57,750 Okay. Well, I'm gonna need to see some ID, freshman. 527 00:24:57,833 --> 00:24:59,916 [stammers] ID? I don't… 528 00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:02,291 [chuckles] I'm just kidding. One black coffee. 529 00:25:02,375 --> 00:25:04,291 So, how'd you know I was a freshman? 530 00:25:04,375 --> 00:25:05,750 Oh, I see you in the hallways 531 00:25:05,833 --> 00:25:08,708 and it's pretty obvious. What are you guys doing for Halloween? 532 00:25:08,791 --> 00:25:10,541 Well, I'm taking my sisters trick-or-treating. 533 00:25:10,625 --> 00:25:13,833 And my mom's at work, so I kind of run the house when she's gone. 534 00:25:14,375 --> 00:25:17,000 -So, you're not going to the party? -Yeah, I'm going. 535 00:25:17,541 --> 00:25:19,875 -Which party? -One manly black coffee. 536 00:25:20,375 --> 00:25:21,375 That's me. 537 00:25:21,458 --> 00:25:25,083 The big barn at Wallace Orchard. It's mostly juniors and seniors. 538 00:25:26,083 --> 00:25:31,208 Hmm. Yeah. Well, maybe after my mom comes home, I'll-- I'll try to swing by. 539 00:25:31,958 --> 00:25:33,125 Try hard. 540 00:25:35,625 --> 00:25:37,208 Did you suddenly get cool? 541 00:25:38,333 --> 00:25:39,666 -[coffee splashes] -[boy] Oops! 542 00:25:39,750 --> 00:25:40,708 Sorry, freshman. 543 00:25:40,791 --> 00:25:42,750 Michael Mundi in the house! 544 00:25:43,708 --> 00:25:44,666 It comes and goes. 545 00:25:45,250 --> 00:25:48,583 [Aurora on radio] Well, all you witches and warlocks, the daylight is fading, 546 00:25:48,666 --> 00:25:52,375 and you know what that means. Halloween in Salem is in full effect. 547 00:25:53,083 --> 00:25:55,083 Now, we have an old friend on the line, Hubie Dubie. 548 00:25:55,166 --> 00:25:57,500 [echoing] Hi, I like-- I wanna make a request, please? 549 00:25:57,583 --> 00:25:59,541 If you can play the theme song 550 00:25:59,625 --> 00:26:02,000 from the film Ghostbusters by Ray Parker Jr. 551 00:26:02,083 --> 00:26:03,958 [Aurora] Hubie, you need to turn down your radio. 552 00:26:04,041 --> 00:26:06,625 -We talked about this before. -[echoing] I just keep hearing myself. 553 00:26:06,708 --> 00:26:08,625 -[Aurora] Hubie. -Okay, there it is. 554 00:26:08,708 --> 00:26:09,708 Thank you, Aurora. 555 00:26:09,791 --> 00:26:12,000 -[Aurora] Turn down the radio. -["Ghostbusters" playing] 556 00:26:12,083 --> 00:26:13,125 [echoing] Who is that? 557 00:26:13,208 --> 00:26:16,125 -[Aurora] Just hang up your phone. -[echoing] Please stop. 558 00:26:16,208 --> 00:26:18,208 -That's not funny. -[Aurora] All good, baby, okay? 559 00:26:18,291 --> 00:26:20,333 -[Aurora] Thanks for calling. -[Hubie] Sit on it, pal. 560 00:26:20,416 --> 00:26:23,791 That man on the radio sounds like the guy who talked to us in the cafeteria today. 561 00:26:23,875 --> 00:26:28,708 Oh, did you get a Hubie Dubois Halloween safety talk? 562 00:26:28,791 --> 00:26:30,708 I think so. Is he a good guy? 563 00:26:30,791 --> 00:26:33,791 'Cause the whole school was throwing food and sharp objects at him. 564 00:26:33,875 --> 00:26:38,500 Hubie Dubois is probably the nicest guy in this town. 565 00:26:39,083 --> 00:26:40,041 Do you like him? 566 00:26:40,750 --> 00:26:42,583 No. He-- You know, he's just-- 567 00:26:42,666 --> 00:26:44,916 -He's the nicest. -You said this already. 568 00:26:45,500 --> 00:26:48,750 Well, take it from me. Nice matters. 569 00:26:48,833 --> 00:26:50,166 ["Ghostbusters" continues playing] 570 00:26:50,250 --> 00:26:52,583 [Aurora] The scariest night of the year has arrived, kiddies. 571 00:26:52,666 --> 00:26:54,708 [creature howling] 572 00:26:54,791 --> 00:26:58,791 It's gonna be a full moon, so the monsters will be out. 573 00:26:58,875 --> 00:27:02,000 I hope you've made all the necessary preparations. 574 00:27:03,750 --> 00:27:05,875 And have your costumes all picked out. 575 00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:11,500 And watch out for all kinds of freaky things 576 00:27:11,583 --> 00:27:13,500 that'll chill you to the bone. 577 00:27:13,583 --> 00:27:15,583 ["Ghostbusters" continues playing] 578 00:27:21,583 --> 00:27:23,041 ♪ Let me tell you something ♪ 579 00:27:23,500 --> 00:27:25,500 ♪ Bustin' makes me feel good ♪ 580 00:27:27,791 --> 00:27:29,875 [kids chattering] 581 00:27:43,916 --> 00:27:44,833 [door opens] 582 00:27:46,708 --> 00:27:49,500 Oh, Hubie. Don't go out there tonight. 583 00:27:49,583 --> 00:27:51,833 I have a feeling something's going to happen. 584 00:27:52,375 --> 00:27:55,208 I get that feeling every time I leave the house, Mom. 585 00:27:55,291 --> 00:27:56,500 But Salem needs me. 586 00:27:56,583 --> 00:27:59,625 Listen to me. It's time to worry about yourself. 587 00:27:59,708 --> 00:28:03,291 Hubert Shubert Dubois, do you hear me? 588 00:28:03,375 --> 00:28:06,291 The whole neighborhood'll hear you, Ma. You're practically screaming. 589 00:28:06,750 --> 00:28:07,750 I'll be okay. 590 00:28:07,833 --> 00:28:10,291 -My sweet boy. -[Hubie] I love you. 591 00:28:11,208 --> 00:28:13,625 Answer the door if it's a trick-or-treater. 592 00:28:13,708 --> 00:28:15,291 Otherwise, just stay in the house, Ma. 593 00:28:15,375 --> 00:28:16,375 [door opens] 594 00:28:17,666 --> 00:28:18,625 [door closes] 595 00:28:19,833 --> 00:28:21,541 So, you went with the full moon, huh, God? 596 00:28:22,500 --> 00:28:23,333 It's on. 597 00:28:23,791 --> 00:28:26,416 ♪ Trick, trick, trick or treat ♪ 598 00:28:26,500 --> 00:28:29,833 ♪ Open up your door And give me what I need, trick… ♪ 599 00:28:29,916 --> 00:28:31,791 [Hubie] Be careful, guys! Safety first! 600 00:28:32,375 --> 00:28:34,750 ♪ I'll show you something That you've never seen ♪ 601 00:28:34,833 --> 00:28:35,833 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 602 00:28:38,333 --> 00:28:40,625 -Incredible costumes, guys. -[girl] Whatever. 603 00:28:40,708 --> 00:28:41,791 Hmm. 604 00:28:46,166 --> 00:28:47,500 [Hubie grunts] 605 00:28:48,083 --> 00:28:49,708 [car horn beeping] 606 00:28:50,375 --> 00:28:52,500 Well, not on my watch, Mr. Whiskers. 607 00:28:52,583 --> 00:28:55,208 Hey, Pubie! Give me back my cat! 608 00:28:55,291 --> 00:28:57,833 Boy, that nickname spread like warm peanut butter. 609 00:28:58,291 --> 00:28:59,166 Um… 610 00:29:00,166 --> 00:29:01,125 [cat meows] 611 00:29:02,916 --> 00:29:03,791 [Violet] Hey, Karen. 612 00:29:04,708 --> 00:29:06,250 How 'bout you thank the man? 613 00:29:06,333 --> 00:29:08,458 Oh, hey, Violet. 614 00:29:08,541 --> 00:29:12,708 Oh, you fostering this mumbling zombie now, too? [laughs] 615 00:29:12,791 --> 00:29:14,000 Good luck! 616 00:29:14,083 --> 00:29:16,916 You want me to get out this car and beat you with that ugly cat? 617 00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:18,708 'Cause you know I'm more than capable of it. 618 00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:21,875 Uh… no. 619 00:29:23,166 --> 00:29:24,291 [door opens, closes] 620 00:29:24,375 --> 00:29:26,833 Violet Valentine. What a, uh, pleasant surprise. 621 00:29:26,916 --> 00:29:30,958 How did you get to be so badass? 622 00:29:31,625 --> 00:29:32,458 [stammers] 623 00:29:34,458 --> 00:29:37,708 Yes, you, Hubie. You're a stud. 624 00:29:38,458 --> 00:29:41,375 You're most friendly, most popular, and best looking. 625 00:29:41,458 --> 00:29:42,416 What? 626 00:29:42,500 --> 00:29:47,916 I was wondering, Violet, do you think perhaps that we can-- 627 00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:52,416 Maybe sometime you and I could possibly… 628 00:29:52,500 --> 00:29:53,333 What? 629 00:29:55,125 --> 00:29:55,958 Nothing. 630 00:29:56,833 --> 00:29:57,666 Nothing at all. 631 00:29:58,125 --> 00:29:59,000 Oh. 632 00:30:00,916 --> 00:30:03,291 Okay. Well, I know it's your big night, Hubie. 633 00:30:03,375 --> 00:30:07,416 So, if you run out of soup and you need a refill, just stop by the diner. 634 00:30:08,083 --> 00:30:09,583 I'm working all night, okay? 635 00:30:11,166 --> 00:30:12,000 Right-o. 636 00:30:13,333 --> 00:30:14,166 Okay. 637 00:30:25,333 --> 00:30:29,041 I'm asexual, but that girl's making me hella horny. 638 00:30:31,291 --> 00:30:32,166 Mmm. 639 00:30:34,041 --> 00:30:34,916 Go, go, go. 640 00:30:35,833 --> 00:30:36,791 Go get candy, baby. 641 00:30:49,750 --> 00:30:50,666 Okay. 642 00:30:51,416 --> 00:30:53,291 I'm gonna stop you there, young lady. 643 00:30:54,083 --> 00:30:58,750 Part of the fun of Halloween is its ways of teaching us life lessons. 644 00:30:59,375 --> 00:31:02,583 -To trust the honor system. -[animatronic creature] Hello! 645 00:31:02,666 --> 00:31:04,250 [screaming] 646 00:31:04,333 --> 00:31:05,916 [laughing] 647 00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:07,458 [Hubie] Help me! 648 00:31:07,541 --> 00:31:09,208 [laughs] You're a dummy! 649 00:31:09,291 --> 00:31:12,208 Scooby Dubois on the case! 650 00:31:12,291 --> 00:31:15,291 Mr. Hennessy. How's night school? 651 00:31:15,375 --> 00:31:17,416 I dropped out three years ago. Shut up. 652 00:31:17,500 --> 00:31:18,833 [Hennessy] Hi, David. Hi, Tracy. 653 00:31:18,916 --> 00:31:20,166 -[Tracy] Hi. -[David] How are ya? 654 00:31:20,250 --> 00:31:24,083 Hubie, nice little sash you got on there. What is that, monitor? 655 00:31:24,625 --> 00:31:26,166 What're you monitorizing? 656 00:31:26,250 --> 00:31:29,416 You see, basically, doing a door-to-door candy etiquette. 657 00:31:29,500 --> 00:31:34,125 As a trained volunteer, I've been asked to initiate spot checks. 658 00:31:34,208 --> 00:31:35,750 -Asked by who? -[Hennessy] Yeah. 659 00:31:35,833 --> 00:31:38,583 It looks like you made that sash from one of your mother's scarves. 660 00:31:38,666 --> 00:31:43,208 [all laughing] 661 00:31:43,291 --> 00:31:47,250 My family's been a part of Salem for, uh, going back to the witch trials. 662 00:31:47,333 --> 00:31:50,541 So, I know what it's like when the spooky fun gets outta hand-- 663 00:31:50,625 --> 00:31:52,875 [Hennessy makes snoring sounds] 664 00:31:53,416 --> 00:31:54,375 Oh, I'm sorry. 665 00:31:55,208 --> 00:31:57,541 I had this nightmare I was talking to an idiot. 666 00:31:57,625 --> 00:32:00,458 Mmm. Havin' a nightmare about your hairdo. 667 00:32:00,541 --> 00:32:02,083 [Tracy and David] Come on, baby. 668 00:32:02,166 --> 00:32:04,708 [Hubie] Good night. Please keep the fishnets for fishing next year. 669 00:32:04,791 --> 00:32:07,125 You know what spooky fun is really getting outta hand? 670 00:32:07,208 --> 00:32:08,500 It's your new neighbor's house. 671 00:32:08,583 --> 00:32:11,125 I heard some odd noises when I was walking by. 672 00:32:11,208 --> 00:32:12,416 -Noises, huh? -Yeah. 673 00:32:12,500 --> 00:32:14,458 Let's break this down. Did it sound like this? 674 00:32:14,541 --> 00:32:16,375 [makes braying sounds] 675 00:32:16,458 --> 00:32:18,708 -That sounds like a donkey. No. -How about… 676 00:32:18,791 --> 00:32:19,833 [growling] 677 00:32:19,916 --> 00:32:21,708 -No. -[squeaking] 678 00:32:21,791 --> 00:32:23,833 -No. -[grunting] 679 00:32:23,916 --> 00:32:25,500 I don't know. It was a noise! 680 00:32:25,583 --> 00:32:26,666 -Okay? -Yeah. 681 00:32:26,750 --> 00:32:28,916 -Why don't you just go see what it is? -On it. 682 00:32:41,083 --> 00:32:42,125 [glass shatters] 683 00:32:42,208 --> 00:32:45,708 [people chattering] 684 00:32:51,250 --> 00:32:52,416 [rustling, crashing] 685 00:32:52,500 --> 00:32:55,500 -[muffled screaming] -[banging] 686 00:32:56,416 --> 00:32:57,875 [snarling] 687 00:32:57,958 --> 00:32:59,291 [Hubie] Hmm. 688 00:33:00,541 --> 00:33:02,791 [muffled snarling, wailing] 689 00:33:02,875 --> 00:33:04,958 [Hubie] Mr. Lambert? Mr. Lambert? 690 00:33:07,375 --> 00:33:08,625 [muffled screaming] 691 00:33:10,541 --> 00:33:12,333 [power tool whirring] 692 00:33:20,166 --> 00:33:22,083 [distant wailing, screaming] 693 00:33:22,166 --> 00:33:23,583 [distant crashing] 694 00:33:25,125 --> 00:33:26,041 Mr. Lambert? 695 00:33:26,583 --> 00:33:29,000 [distant screaming continues] 696 00:33:29,083 --> 00:33:29,916 [Hubie] Hello? 697 00:33:31,541 --> 00:33:32,541 [muffled shrieking] 698 00:33:32,625 --> 00:33:33,458 [Hubie] Mr. Lamb-- 699 00:33:33,541 --> 00:33:35,291 [Hubie screams, thuds] 700 00:33:35,375 --> 00:33:38,208 [groaning] 701 00:33:38,291 --> 00:33:39,125 Why? 702 00:33:58,083 --> 00:33:58,916 What the-- 703 00:34:00,375 --> 00:34:02,041 You got a dog, Mr. Lambert? 704 00:34:06,250 --> 00:34:08,208 You got a big dog, Mr. Lambert? 705 00:34:25,708 --> 00:34:26,666 [screams] 706 00:34:28,541 --> 00:34:29,458 Mr. Lambert. 707 00:34:29,541 --> 00:34:32,541 I know you said if there was a commotion, I should ignore it. 708 00:34:34,541 --> 00:34:37,333 But there was a commotion, and I did not ignore it. And-- 709 00:34:37,416 --> 00:34:39,166 -[growls] -Oh! 710 00:34:39,250 --> 00:34:41,833 Were those your feces on the newspaper, Mr. Lambert? 711 00:34:42,291 --> 00:34:43,166 [snarls] 712 00:34:43,958 --> 00:34:46,666 [rumbling, gasping] Walter. 713 00:34:46,750 --> 00:34:47,916 [creaking] 714 00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:49,375 -[snarls] -[gasps] 715 00:34:52,625 --> 00:34:54,083 [howling] 716 00:34:55,416 --> 00:34:56,625 Safe Halloween, Mr.-- 717 00:34:57,500 --> 00:34:58,333 Walter! 718 00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:01,000 [siren blares] 719 00:35:01,083 --> 00:35:02,875 Look, I know it was just a pig. 720 00:35:02,958 --> 00:35:06,041 Peanut was not just a pig, officer. He was my best friend. 721 00:35:06,125 --> 00:35:08,500 -I thought I was your best friend. -[scoffs] 722 00:35:08,583 --> 00:35:12,583 Here's what I'm thinkin'. Name Richie Hartman ring a bell? 723 00:35:13,250 --> 00:35:14,125 Richie Hartman? 724 00:35:14,791 --> 00:35:16,333 Everybody knows who he is. 725 00:35:16,416 --> 00:35:19,041 I don't. Who is he? One of your boyfriend? 726 00:35:19,125 --> 00:35:20,333 [Louise] Oh, you jealous now? 727 00:35:20,416 --> 00:35:23,083 Why don't you go cuddle up with your best friend, Peanut, huh? 728 00:35:23,166 --> 00:35:24,541 [Dan crying] You see this, officer? 729 00:35:24,625 --> 00:35:26,666 -I wanna press charges. -Oh, you gotta be kidding me. 730 00:35:26,750 --> 00:35:29,000 [Louise] And I wanna press your face against that radiator! 731 00:35:29,083 --> 00:35:30,666 -[Hubie] Officer Steve! -I'm sorry, buddy. 732 00:35:30,750 --> 00:35:32,875 The package got by me. He moves quickly to the left. 733 00:35:32,958 --> 00:35:35,833 Okay, well, how did the package even know that I was in here? 734 00:35:35,916 --> 00:35:38,500 Well, that's a glass window. The package could see ya. 735 00:35:38,583 --> 00:35:41,291 Yeah, but could've told the package that I'm a mannequin or somethin'. 736 00:35:41,375 --> 00:35:43,500 -You're right. -What is this package they talkin' about? 737 00:35:43,583 --> 00:35:45,458 -My bad. -Guess they're talkin' about this fella. 738 00:35:45,541 --> 00:35:46,583 Pubie? 739 00:35:46,666 --> 00:35:49,416 I don't know his name. The goofy idiot from the supermarket deli. 740 00:35:50,166 --> 00:35:52,916 Dan, Louise, let's table this discussion for a moment, okay? 741 00:35:53,916 --> 00:35:56,291 -To be continued, I guess. -[Louise] Oh, you guess? 742 00:35:56,375 --> 00:35:59,625 I wish it was you that was knifed up instead of peanut. 743 00:35:59,708 --> 00:36:01,333 You hear this? Can I borrow your gun? 744 00:36:01,416 --> 00:36:03,833 I assure you can arrest me right afterwards. 745 00:36:04,291 --> 00:36:06,583 [Louise] Cut your gizzards off. That's what I should do. 746 00:36:06,666 --> 00:36:09,708 Officer Steve, I saw my ne-- 747 00:36:09,791 --> 00:36:11,833 Never mind that. Cop a squat. 748 00:36:12,458 --> 00:36:13,291 -Here? -Yeah. 749 00:36:15,125 --> 00:36:18,333 Hubie, how long have you lived in Salem? 750 00:36:19,083 --> 00:36:20,333 Eh, my whole life. 751 00:36:20,416 --> 00:36:23,250 Now, you've brought us many instances of unlawful conduct 752 00:36:23,333 --> 00:36:24,666 to our attention over the years. 753 00:36:25,166 --> 00:36:26,958 Somebody put a firecracker in my mail slot. 754 00:36:27,041 --> 00:36:28,750 There's a diaper in Dori's pond. 755 00:36:28,833 --> 00:36:30,916 There's a weird station wagon at the senior center. 756 00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:32,875 The supermarket is selling expired bacon. 757 00:36:32,958 --> 00:36:35,166 Janet at the library has not been herself lately. 758 00:36:35,250 --> 00:36:36,916 I heard a voice in the sewer. 759 00:36:37,000 --> 00:36:39,041 I'm sorry. I didn't recognize him. 760 00:36:39,125 --> 00:36:42,750 The power of observation, the ability to blend in. 761 00:36:42,833 --> 00:36:45,375 That is you in a nutshell, Hubie. 762 00:36:47,333 --> 00:36:49,375 Well, Steven, let's talk turkey. 763 00:36:50,333 --> 00:36:51,291 May I? 764 00:36:51,375 --> 00:36:53,375 Mmm… I only have 30 left. 765 00:36:54,791 --> 00:36:55,958 Okay. 766 00:36:57,416 --> 00:37:00,666 You ever hear of an AUU? 767 00:37:01,333 --> 00:37:04,666 I don't have an Internet, so I'm not up on my latest abbreviations. 768 00:37:04,750 --> 00:37:05,583 Illuminate me. 769 00:37:05,666 --> 00:37:11,000 AUU stands for "Auxiliary Undercover Unit." 770 00:37:11,083 --> 00:37:15,916 [squealing, muttering] 771 00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:18,250 [puffs, inhales] 772 00:37:18,333 --> 00:37:21,250 -Now, before you get too excited, -[exhaling] 773 00:37:21,333 --> 00:37:23,666 let me tell you what it entails, okay? 774 00:37:24,125 --> 00:37:25,708 First off, there's no salary. 775 00:37:25,791 --> 00:37:27,333 -[exhales] -There's no badge. 776 00:37:27,416 --> 00:37:29,666 -[exhales] -We can't acknowledge you officially 777 00:37:29,750 --> 00:37:31,833 -in any way whatsoever. And-- -[exhaling] 778 00:37:31,916 --> 00:37:33,583 And the most important thing is 779 00:37:33,666 --> 00:37:37,416 you can never be seen talking to me or any other officer in this place. 780 00:37:37,500 --> 00:37:39,666 [exhaling] 781 00:37:39,750 --> 00:37:42,583 A question. How would I go about getting the information to you? 782 00:37:42,666 --> 00:37:46,041 Oh, you just keep a log. A very detailed log. 783 00:37:46,125 --> 00:37:49,291 And you drop that log right here. 784 00:37:49,375 --> 00:37:51,875 In the garbage can directly outside Town Hall. 785 00:37:51,958 --> 00:37:54,125 So, drop a log in a garbage can? 786 00:37:54,208 --> 00:37:56,708 Well, that garbage can, that's monitored, 24-7. 787 00:37:56,791 --> 00:37:59,791 So, any intel that you have, it's gonna get to us. We'll know about it. 788 00:37:59,875 --> 00:38:01,125 -Makes-- makes sense. -Yep. 789 00:38:01,208 --> 00:38:05,875 But remember, you cannot contact us, no matter how dire the emergency. 790 00:38:05,958 --> 00:38:08,833 -Yeah, I heard you the first time. -Yeah, I said it twice, it's important. 791 00:38:08,916 --> 00:38:11,333 -Gotcha. -So, you ready to join the team? 792 00:38:12,916 --> 00:38:15,166 Put me in, coach. I'm ready to play. 793 00:38:15,250 --> 00:38:16,583 [Steve] All right! 794 00:38:25,250 --> 00:38:26,166 Perfect. 795 00:38:27,625 --> 00:38:30,666 Tommy, I want mom to bring half my candy to the homeless shelter in the morning. 796 00:38:30,750 --> 00:38:32,625 Will you tell her when she gets home? 797 00:38:33,208 --> 00:38:34,041 Tommy? 798 00:38:35,625 --> 00:38:36,583 Tommy! 799 00:38:37,583 --> 00:38:38,416 Tommy? 800 00:38:39,333 --> 00:38:41,166 Tommy, where are you? 801 00:38:42,333 --> 00:38:44,541 [horror movie music playing] 802 00:38:44,625 --> 00:38:48,833 Danielle! Mom isn't home yet, and I can't find Tommy. I'm scared. 803 00:38:48,916 --> 00:38:52,083 -Did you check the basement? -I checked everywhere. He's not here. 804 00:38:52,791 --> 00:38:56,416 You know what that means? Our brother's in love. 805 00:38:57,625 --> 00:38:58,458 Ew! 806 00:38:58,541 --> 00:39:00,125 [screaming] 807 00:39:00,208 --> 00:39:03,625 ["Dancing with the Devil" playing live] 808 00:39:03,708 --> 00:39:06,958 ♪ Ghosts and goblins very scary ♪ 809 00:39:10,458 --> 00:39:13,791 ♪ Wolfman's back is very hairy… ♪ 810 00:39:16,166 --> 00:39:18,041 How we doin', ladies? 811 00:39:18,750 --> 00:39:20,125 Great, Freddie Mercury. 812 00:39:20,208 --> 00:39:24,250 So lit to have freshman girls here. New crop of hotties to hit on. 813 00:39:24,333 --> 00:39:26,416 Hey! Easy, Mikey. My sister's a freshman. 814 00:39:26,500 --> 00:39:29,375 Dude, I would never even consider your sister in that way. 815 00:39:29,458 --> 00:39:31,458 She's got no personality and a greasy forehead. 816 00:39:32,041 --> 00:39:33,250 You're a good friend, man. 817 00:39:33,333 --> 00:39:34,375 [man shouts] Ha ha ha! 818 00:39:34,875 --> 00:39:35,833 [sighs] 819 00:39:36,500 --> 00:39:37,416 [gasps] 820 00:39:38,875 --> 00:39:39,916 Hi. 821 00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:43,083 Didn't I see you on Union Street a couple of hours ago trick-or-treating? 822 00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:47,083 Well, I had to take out my two new sisters, remember? 823 00:39:47,166 --> 00:39:50,416 I don't know. I thought I saw you hold open your bag to get some candy. 824 00:39:50,500 --> 00:39:52,375 That's not babysitting, that's trick-or-treating. 825 00:39:52,458 --> 00:39:54,500 Oh, my God. I know, I know. It's so pathetic. 826 00:39:54,583 --> 00:39:55,666 It's not pathetic. 827 00:39:56,416 --> 00:39:58,000 If you brought me a Kit Kat bar. 828 00:39:58,083 --> 00:40:00,791 Well, I have a few. 829 00:40:05,416 --> 00:40:06,666 ♪ Devil ♪ 830 00:40:06,750 --> 00:40:09,250 ♪ Dancing with the Devil ♪ 831 00:40:09,333 --> 00:40:11,166 [crowd cheering] 832 00:40:11,250 --> 00:40:13,125 ["Get Freaky" playing] 833 00:40:13,208 --> 00:40:14,625 ♪ Freaky, freaky, freaky… ♪ 834 00:40:17,958 --> 00:40:20,625 -Excuse me. Smokers for chokers. -[glass shatters] 835 00:40:20,708 --> 00:40:22,208 -What's your problem? -I got a problem? 836 00:40:22,291 --> 00:40:23,375 I think you got the problem. 837 00:40:23,458 --> 00:40:24,416 How we doing, guys? 838 00:40:24,500 --> 00:40:27,041 -[man 1] What's up, old man? -Got some ID for that drink? 839 00:40:27,125 --> 00:40:28,958 -What? -Yeah, not on my watch. 840 00:40:29,041 --> 00:40:30,750 -What the hell? -It's for the best. 841 00:40:31,875 --> 00:40:35,083 And I think we are gonna dehydrate. Let's break that up. 842 00:40:35,166 --> 00:40:37,583 -Watch it, GI Jackass. -[man 2] You wanna die? 843 00:40:37,666 --> 00:40:38,750 Not yet. 844 00:40:38,833 --> 00:40:42,416 Uh, excuse me, Grandpa Thermos, you need to leave the party right now. 845 00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:45,291 Leave public property? I don't see that happening. 846 00:40:45,375 --> 00:40:47,791 Leave. Or I'll beat you with a tire iron. 847 00:40:47,875 --> 00:40:49,166 You and whose army? 848 00:40:49,250 --> 00:40:50,083 Just me. 849 00:40:50,166 --> 00:40:52,333 -And me. -And me. 850 00:40:52,416 --> 00:40:54,750 -And me. -And definitely me. 851 00:40:54,833 --> 00:40:58,666 -Let's kill him! -[all clamoring] Yeah! Yeah! 852 00:40:58,750 --> 00:41:00,291 Hang on! All right. 853 00:41:00,375 --> 00:41:04,125 I realize I might have gone too far for your teenage mental capacities 854 00:41:04,208 --> 00:41:05,833 and that is a boner on my part. 855 00:41:06,333 --> 00:41:07,541 [all laughing] 856 00:41:07,625 --> 00:41:10,250 -I don't think he knows what boner means. -No, definitely not. 857 00:41:10,333 --> 00:41:12,666 When I was your age, I made some huge boners. 858 00:41:12,750 --> 00:41:14,583 [all laughing] 859 00:41:14,666 --> 00:41:16,666 Boners that I wish I could get back now. 860 00:41:16,750 --> 00:41:17,625 [all laughing] 861 00:41:17,708 --> 00:41:19,541 Listen, give me a minute head start, 862 00:41:19,625 --> 00:41:21,791 then tell him there's a kid stuck in the corn maze. 863 00:41:21,875 --> 00:41:23,458 And why am I doing that? 864 00:41:23,541 --> 00:41:27,000 'Cause I am going to scare the living crap out of him. 865 00:41:27,083 --> 00:41:28,500 Really? Does he scare easy? 866 00:41:30,208 --> 00:41:31,708 [screams] Oh my… 867 00:41:31,791 --> 00:41:34,291 [screaming] Ah! Oh! 868 00:41:34,375 --> 00:41:36,791 -[screams] -[screaming] 869 00:41:36,875 --> 00:41:38,333 Yes. 870 00:41:38,416 --> 00:41:39,625 Yes, he does. 871 00:41:39,708 --> 00:41:41,125 [dance music continues playing] 872 00:41:41,208 --> 00:41:43,458 [Hubie] Actually, I had a good time with you guys after all. 873 00:41:43,541 --> 00:41:47,083 It was fun. Hope we do it again next year. Give a hoot, don't pollute. 874 00:41:47,166 --> 00:41:50,125 -[coughs] Isn't that Woodsy the Owl? -No, he was Tootsie Pops. 875 00:41:50,208 --> 00:41:51,166 Hey, Mr. Pubois. 876 00:41:51,708 --> 00:41:52,875 -Dubois. -Dubois. 877 00:41:53,458 --> 00:41:55,541 I think I saw a little kid get lost in the Corn Maze. 878 00:41:55,625 --> 00:41:56,625 In the what? 879 00:41:57,291 --> 00:41:59,500 I heard him scream, "Help!" Then he started crying. 880 00:41:59,583 --> 00:42:01,208 My God, it's just-- it's just a little kid! 881 00:42:01,291 --> 00:42:02,750 Okay. Handle your high. 882 00:42:02,833 --> 00:42:05,750 I am a member of the AUU. This is what I was trained to do. 883 00:42:06,291 --> 00:42:07,291 [yells] Hoo-ah! 884 00:42:09,166 --> 00:42:12,000 [wheezing, grunting] 885 00:42:14,208 --> 00:42:15,583 I think we're good! 886 00:42:15,666 --> 00:42:17,541 [all laughing] 887 00:42:17,625 --> 00:42:20,750 Messing with Shoobie Dubois. A Salem tradition. 888 00:42:21,333 --> 00:42:23,291 My grandma gave him his first titty-twister. 889 00:42:23,375 --> 00:42:25,333 [all laughing] 890 00:42:25,416 --> 00:42:28,041 -What a bunch of jerks. -Should we go tell him it's a prank? 891 00:42:28,833 --> 00:42:30,791 I knew I liked you, freshman. Come on. 892 00:42:31,666 --> 00:42:34,125 Excuse me, excuse me, Bride of Skankenstein. Yeah, thank you. 893 00:42:53,041 --> 00:42:57,750 If you can hear me, please call out so I can determine your whereabouts! 894 00:42:58,833 --> 00:43:00,583 Do not be fearful, little one! 895 00:43:01,125 --> 00:43:02,041 Announce yourself! 896 00:43:04,083 --> 00:43:05,291 [girl] Hubie! 897 00:43:05,375 --> 00:43:06,541 [Tommy] Mr. Dubois! 898 00:43:07,166 --> 00:43:08,083 [girl] Hubie! 899 00:43:08,875 --> 00:43:09,916 [Tommy] Hello! 900 00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:11,750 -Where are you? -Should we split up? 901 00:43:12,291 --> 00:43:14,166 I don't know. That sounds like a big boner. 902 00:43:14,291 --> 00:43:15,416 -What? -I'm just kidding. 903 00:43:15,500 --> 00:43:17,791 -[girl] Yeah, go that way… -[heavy breathing] 904 00:43:17,875 --> 00:43:20,541 [Hubie] Is anyone out there? Sound off! 905 00:43:20,625 --> 00:43:23,875 Tonight's temperatures will dip below 28 degrees! 906 00:43:23,958 --> 00:43:26,333 Your nervous system cannot handle that! 907 00:43:26,416 --> 00:43:28,125 Sasquatch could not handle that! 908 00:43:29,083 --> 00:43:31,500 [girl] Mr. Dubois? Hello! 909 00:43:34,041 --> 00:43:35,791 Hey, Tommy, hey! 910 00:43:39,583 --> 00:43:41,541 -Mr. Dubois! [screams] -[laughs] 911 00:43:41,625 --> 00:43:44,000 What the hell, Mike? Why would you do that? 912 00:43:44,083 --> 00:43:46,916 Hey, whoa! I'm sorry. Come on, I couldn't resist. 913 00:43:47,000 --> 00:43:48,250 [Tommy] That wasn't cool, man. 914 00:43:48,625 --> 00:43:49,875 Hey, coffee boy. 915 00:43:49,958 --> 00:43:51,375 You're that freshman, right? 916 00:43:52,166 --> 00:43:53,958 Uh, yeah. 917 00:43:54,041 --> 00:43:56,625 Yeah, well, welcome to your first high school fight. 918 00:43:56,708 --> 00:43:57,625 [grunts] 919 00:43:58,208 --> 00:43:59,375 [girl] Tommy! 920 00:44:00,250 --> 00:44:03,458 Megan McNally, you like underclassmen? 921 00:44:04,583 --> 00:44:06,041 Oh, that's adorable. 922 00:44:06,125 --> 00:44:06,958 [Hubie] Hello! 923 00:44:09,583 --> 00:44:11,083 Is the fight over? Did I win? 924 00:44:11,666 --> 00:44:13,666 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you kicked his ass. Come on. 925 00:44:14,791 --> 00:44:17,750 [Hubie] Is anyone out there? Sound off! 926 00:44:17,833 --> 00:44:19,333 [high-pitched voice] Help! 927 00:44:20,666 --> 00:44:24,041 Remain in place! I will find you! 928 00:44:24,666 --> 00:44:27,583 Not if I find you first! [snickers] 929 00:44:27,666 --> 00:44:31,708 Take me, evil one! Just do not harm the child! 930 00:44:31,791 --> 00:44:33,333 [high-pitched voice] Help, Hubie! 931 00:44:33,416 --> 00:44:36,000 [snickering] 932 00:44:37,375 --> 00:44:38,875 No! 933 00:44:40,083 --> 00:44:41,666 Dad? Is that you? 934 00:44:42,791 --> 00:44:44,458 Does Mom know you're still alive? 935 00:44:45,833 --> 00:44:47,083 Are you still mad at me? 936 00:44:47,166 --> 00:44:49,750 No. It's Tommy, Violet Valentine's son. 937 00:44:49,833 --> 00:44:51,875 Yeah, and Megan. I work down at the coffee shop. 938 00:44:51,958 --> 00:44:54,583 I give you free hot water for your dehydrated soup sometimes. 939 00:44:54,666 --> 00:44:56,416 Yes. Much appreciated. 940 00:44:56,500 --> 00:45:00,250 The reason I take it for free is 'cause I don't have money. 941 00:45:00,333 --> 00:45:03,791 Anyway, we came over here to tell you that there's no lost kid. 942 00:45:04,500 --> 00:45:05,416 No one's lost? 943 00:45:05,500 --> 00:45:07,708 Yeah, it's just Mike Mundi trying to pull a prank on you. 944 00:45:08,583 --> 00:45:09,791 Prank? No, I knew that. 945 00:45:11,916 --> 00:45:13,125 So, I like the costumes. 946 00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:16,083 -Garbage can? -Yeah. Tin Man. 947 00:45:16,166 --> 00:45:17,916 And Red Riding Hood. 948 00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:20,958 I want to be honest with you. Might not be a good year for it. 949 00:45:21,041 --> 00:45:24,875 Um, between us, there is a man-wolf on the loose. 950 00:45:25,458 --> 00:45:28,333 Then maybe should I head inside? 951 00:45:28,416 --> 00:45:29,416 A wise decision. 952 00:45:29,500 --> 00:45:32,041 By the way, my mom was talking about you tonight. 953 00:45:32,625 --> 00:45:34,041 Your mom was talking about me? 954 00:45:34,500 --> 00:45:35,541 What'd she say? 955 00:45:35,625 --> 00:45:37,208 Just that you are nice. 956 00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:38,833 Well, I am nice. 957 00:45:39,333 --> 00:45:41,958 Because I'm not gonna tell her that you're out here playing Romeo 958 00:45:42,041 --> 00:45:44,208 instead of watching your two little sisters. 959 00:45:45,000 --> 00:45:47,208 -Well, now I feel bad. -I know you feel bad. 960 00:45:47,291 --> 00:45:49,625 -'Cause you got a big heart. -Thanks. 961 00:45:49,708 --> 00:45:51,666 So, I'm gonna let you two guys take off without me. 962 00:45:51,750 --> 00:45:53,666 I'll give you a head start in the name of romance. 963 00:45:54,250 --> 00:45:56,791 -Okay. Go ahead, guys. Take care, now. -[Tommy] Thanks, Mr. Dubois. 964 00:45:56,875 --> 00:45:58,833 -[Megan] Happy Halloween. -Not looking, guys! 965 00:46:08,833 --> 00:46:10,583 Same corn over and over. 966 00:46:12,000 --> 00:46:15,583 I should've left with the others, 'cause I have no idea where I am. 967 00:46:16,250 --> 00:46:19,333 So, I came from there. I already was there. 968 00:46:21,708 --> 00:46:24,208 Can't believe I don't have a compass on my thermos. 969 00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:25,875 [muffled scream] 970 00:46:33,208 --> 00:46:35,250 [muffled screaming] Help me! 971 00:46:36,375 --> 00:46:38,291 Michael Mundi. 972 00:46:38,375 --> 00:46:39,541 [muffled screaming] Help me! 973 00:46:39,625 --> 00:46:45,041 Listen, I am a fan of a Halloween zinger as much as the next guy, but… 974 00:46:45,125 --> 00:46:46,250 [grunting] 975 00:46:46,333 --> 00:46:47,416 What? What'd you say? 976 00:46:52,291 --> 00:46:54,000 Michael? Michael! 977 00:46:57,541 --> 00:46:58,375 What the-- 978 00:47:07,875 --> 00:47:14,875 [screaming] What? 979 00:47:16,791 --> 00:47:19,958 [Aurora] It's nine o'clock in Salem, which means all you trick-or-treaters 980 00:47:20,041 --> 00:47:22,916 have counted up your candy corns and are gettin' ready for bed. 981 00:47:23,000 --> 00:47:24,166 What the heck? 982 00:47:24,250 --> 00:47:26,750 [Aurora] But that don't mean the fun stops for all of us. 983 00:47:27,166 --> 00:47:30,416 -Hubie, I can't do this. -Michael Mundi was abducted. 984 00:47:30,500 --> 00:47:32,458 I found a ticket to the drive-in at the scene. 985 00:47:32,541 --> 00:47:33,583 Great. Start there. 986 00:47:36,041 --> 00:47:38,541 [Aurora] So, now's the time for us big boys and girls 987 00:47:38,625 --> 00:47:39,958 to get up to some real mischief. 988 00:47:40,041 --> 00:47:41,375 [oldies rock music playing] 989 00:47:41,458 --> 00:47:45,083 [Aurora] And watch out. It's always the quiet ones who get the most naughty. 990 00:47:45,166 --> 00:47:46,708 [woman cackling maniacally] 991 00:47:46,791 --> 00:47:49,958 Violet, where the hell were you? We're falling behind out there. 992 00:47:50,041 --> 00:47:53,541 Well, I was on the phone with the credit card company. 993 00:47:53,625 --> 00:47:56,750 They didn't know I had an extension. I'm so sorry, Mr. Tayback. 994 00:47:56,833 --> 00:47:59,250 You know how much credit card debt I'm in right now? 995 00:47:59,333 --> 00:48:00,458 Nobody gives a crap! 996 00:48:01,250 --> 00:48:03,791 Just do your job. No breaks on Halloween. 997 00:48:03,875 --> 00:48:06,000 -[phone buzzing] -♪ Party in the mummy's tomb ♪ 998 00:48:06,083 --> 00:48:09,750 ♪ And she's in love With the creature from the black lagoon ♪ 999 00:48:10,375 --> 00:48:12,791 [female voice] Your call has been forwarded to an automated-- 1000 00:48:13,458 --> 00:48:14,458 She's not answering. 1001 00:48:15,333 --> 00:48:16,833 Don't worry, we'll find Tommy. 1002 00:48:20,666 --> 00:48:23,708 I am your father, and I demand some respect. 1003 00:48:23,791 --> 00:48:26,666 You are grounded for the next six months. 1004 00:48:28,041 --> 00:48:28,958 [gasps] 1005 00:48:29,875 --> 00:48:31,166 -[screaming] -[chomps] 1006 00:48:33,041 --> 00:48:34,291 You son of a-- 1007 00:48:34,375 --> 00:48:35,416 [chuckles] 1008 00:48:36,166 --> 00:48:38,833 -Mmm. Hey! -Hey. 1009 00:48:38,916 --> 00:48:39,916 [sighs] 1010 00:48:40,958 --> 00:48:42,333 So, did I miss anything? 1011 00:48:42,416 --> 00:48:44,250 Yeah, you just missed the best part! 1012 00:48:45,541 --> 00:48:48,708 The best part is spending time alone with you. 1013 00:48:48,791 --> 00:48:49,750 [chuckles] 1014 00:48:51,291 --> 00:48:54,416 [moaning softly] 1015 00:48:54,500 --> 00:48:58,250 [high-pitched moaning] 1016 00:48:58,333 --> 00:48:59,250 [laughs] 1017 00:48:59,333 --> 00:49:00,208 Did that turn you on? 1018 00:49:00,291 --> 00:49:03,083 How is sucking on fake fingers supposed to turn me on? 1019 00:49:03,166 --> 00:49:05,208 Well, imagine that they're your fingers. 1020 00:49:05,291 --> 00:49:08,458 They're men's fingers. Are you saying I have men's fingers? 1021 00:49:08,541 --> 00:49:10,916 Okay, look, I was just trying something, okay? 1022 00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:12,916 -Something different. -Jeez, man. 1023 00:49:13,000 --> 00:49:15,375 [sighs] Remember we used to come here in high school? 1024 00:49:15,458 --> 00:49:19,708 Mm-hmm. Feels exactly the same, too. We got Hubie Dubois spying on everybody. 1025 00:49:21,375 --> 00:49:23,875 I gotta say, it's pretty impressive how long he's been a loser. 1026 00:49:24,375 --> 00:49:26,416 -I got a great idea. -[woman on-screen screaming] 1027 00:49:26,500 --> 00:49:29,750 It's kinda evil, but stick with me. 1028 00:49:29,833 --> 00:49:31,666 Now, that turns me on. 1029 00:49:31,750 --> 00:49:36,083 [both laughing] 1030 00:49:39,041 --> 00:49:40,041 Michael Mundi. 1031 00:49:40,125 --> 00:49:41,833 [clicking pen] 1032 00:49:41,916 --> 00:49:44,333 Scheduled to come to the Creature Double Feature. 1033 00:49:45,333 --> 00:49:46,541 To meet who? 1034 00:49:48,000 --> 00:49:50,916 To kill his next victim? 1035 00:49:51,000 --> 00:49:52,875 -[woman] Hubie. -[screaming] Murder! 1036 00:49:53,916 --> 00:49:55,041 You okay, big man? 1037 00:49:55,125 --> 00:49:56,000 Mrs. Hennessy. 1038 00:49:58,666 --> 00:50:02,208 I am actually doing a follow-up on a classified situation. 1039 00:50:02,291 --> 00:50:04,166 Did you lose your thermos or some shit? 1040 00:50:04,250 --> 00:50:06,083 Oh, that'll never happen. 1041 00:50:06,541 --> 00:50:07,583 [clicking] 1042 00:50:11,083 --> 00:50:14,000 Anyway, I saw something earlier. 1043 00:50:14,083 --> 00:50:14,916 Mm-hmm. 1044 00:50:15,000 --> 00:50:17,916 Something suspicious. 1045 00:50:18,500 --> 00:50:20,166 Ears are in open position. 1046 00:50:21,333 --> 00:50:22,833 This is gonna sound nuts. 1047 00:50:22,916 --> 00:50:25,291 But I was going to get popcorn earlier, 1048 00:50:25,375 --> 00:50:30,208 when this freaky old-timey car pulled into the lot. 1049 00:50:30,833 --> 00:50:32,541 And the driver was-- 1050 00:50:33,500 --> 00:50:35,500 You just gotta see it to believe it. 1051 00:50:36,875 --> 00:50:40,791 Could you possibly point me in the direction of this strange vehicle? 1052 00:50:41,750 --> 00:50:42,583 It's that one. 1053 00:50:43,458 --> 00:50:44,291 Right there. 1054 00:50:46,750 --> 00:50:47,583 Okay. 1055 00:50:51,416 --> 00:50:52,333 Let's take a look. 1056 00:50:55,291 --> 00:50:56,541 -Oh, and, uh… -Yes? 1057 00:50:57,375 --> 00:51:00,208 Hubie, do be… careful. 1058 00:51:00,666 --> 00:51:02,916 [man on-screen shouting] 1059 00:51:18,541 --> 00:51:20,416 [car starts] 1060 00:51:27,875 --> 00:51:29,208 What the what? 1061 00:51:31,000 --> 00:51:32,041 Okay, whoa, there. 1062 00:51:33,958 --> 00:51:35,375 Step out of the vehicle! 1063 00:51:36,500 --> 00:51:40,375 We can do this the easy way or the paddle way. It's up to you. 1064 00:51:41,291 --> 00:51:42,458 [engine revs] 1065 00:51:46,375 --> 00:51:47,416 Ghost! 1066 00:51:48,375 --> 00:51:50,541 [Hubie screaming] 1067 00:51:50,625 --> 00:51:51,875 Help me! 1068 00:51:52,333 --> 00:51:53,416 [screaming, muttering] 1069 00:51:53,500 --> 00:51:54,500 What are you? 1070 00:51:54,583 --> 00:51:55,916 [whimpering] 1071 00:51:56,000 --> 00:51:56,833 Help me! 1072 00:51:57,791 --> 00:51:58,875 [screaming] 1073 00:51:58,958 --> 00:52:00,708 No! Oh, God! 1074 00:52:00,791 --> 00:52:01,666 Why? 1075 00:52:01,750 --> 00:52:04,583 [kids shouting, clamoring] Get him! 1076 00:52:04,666 --> 00:52:05,916 What the heck? 1077 00:52:06,000 --> 00:52:07,000 [laughing] 1078 00:52:07,083 --> 00:52:09,541 [kids continue shouting] 1079 00:52:09,625 --> 00:52:10,541 [Hubie screams] 1080 00:52:12,416 --> 00:52:13,416 [Hubie mutters] 1081 00:52:15,958 --> 00:52:17,000 [screaming] 1082 00:52:17,083 --> 00:52:18,416 [grunts] Help me! 1083 00:52:18,500 --> 00:52:19,333 [thuds] 1084 00:52:19,416 --> 00:52:23,416 [laughing] 1085 00:52:23,500 --> 00:52:25,375 -Now do you want me? -[Mrs. Hennessy] No! 1086 00:52:25,458 --> 00:52:27,375 [laughing, crying] 1087 00:52:27,833 --> 00:52:30,333 [Hubie] There's a time and a place for hijinks! 1088 00:52:30,958 --> 00:52:33,333 But there's a situation going on here! 1089 00:52:33,416 --> 00:52:34,791 [rustling] 1090 00:52:34,875 --> 00:52:36,500 -[growls] -[screams] 1091 00:52:38,916 --> 00:52:41,500 Hubie. It's funny seeing you here. 1092 00:52:41,583 --> 00:52:42,666 [chuckling] 1093 00:52:42,750 --> 00:52:44,833 I'm sorry about before. In the basement. 1094 00:52:45,583 --> 00:52:47,250 I really wasn't feeling myself. 1095 00:52:47,333 --> 00:52:49,375 I don't know if I like you much better now. 1096 00:52:49,458 --> 00:52:52,041 You didn't tell anybody about that, did you, Hubie? 1097 00:52:52,125 --> 00:52:54,375 Why? You have secrets, Mr. Lambert? 1098 00:52:54,958 --> 00:52:58,666 As in, secretly dropping by the corn maze earlier tonight? 1099 00:52:58,750 --> 00:52:59,625 Did anybody get-- 1100 00:53:00,500 --> 00:53:01,583 [panting, heaving] 1101 00:53:01,666 --> 00:53:03,625 -Mr. Lambert. -Walter. 1102 00:53:03,708 --> 00:53:07,250 Your tombstone says that you have yet to die. 1103 00:53:07,333 --> 00:53:11,625 Are you a human being, or are you a moon-crazed beast 1104 00:53:12,208 --> 00:53:16,833 from beyond the grave, grave, grave? 1105 00:53:17,166 --> 00:53:20,708 [snarling, howling] 1106 00:53:20,791 --> 00:53:23,291 Hold that thought! I gotta split! 1107 00:53:24,000 --> 00:53:24,916 Mr. Lambert! 1108 00:53:26,166 --> 00:53:27,833 That just answered my question. 1109 00:53:28,541 --> 00:53:33,750 [crowd cheering, clamoring] 1110 00:53:33,833 --> 00:53:36,041 [male announcer] Oh, man. That's another one. 1111 00:53:36,125 --> 00:53:37,333 [marching band playing fanfare] 1112 00:53:37,416 --> 00:53:40,750 What a man! What a mouth! And on his first try. 1113 00:53:40,833 --> 00:53:43,083 Have a round of applause, everyone. 1114 00:53:43,166 --> 00:53:44,458 Who's next? 1115 00:53:44,541 --> 00:53:46,291 If the mayor can do it, so can you. 1116 00:53:46,875 --> 00:53:48,166 You, sir! Step on up. 1117 00:53:52,791 --> 00:53:54,958 Sorry to bother you, mayor, but it's important. 1118 00:53:55,041 --> 00:53:56,458 [muffled muttering] 1119 00:53:57,958 --> 00:53:59,250 [gasps] 1120 00:54:01,083 --> 00:54:02,125 What is it, Sergeant? 1121 00:54:02,208 --> 00:54:03,916 About an hour ago, I got a strange report 1122 00:54:04,000 --> 00:54:05,875 of a missing high school kid from Hubie Dubois. 1123 00:54:06,375 --> 00:54:09,458 After I laughed it off as usual, I got a call from the kid's mother. 1124 00:54:09,541 --> 00:54:10,750 He actually never made it home. 1125 00:54:10,833 --> 00:54:13,583 This Richard Hartman thing has got you jumpy as hell. 1126 00:54:13,666 --> 00:54:16,375 I suggest we cancel the fireworks show immediately. 1127 00:54:16,458 --> 00:54:18,791 We ain't canceling a damn thing, Sergeant. 1128 00:54:18,875 --> 00:54:20,083 We got an unsolved mystery! 1129 00:54:20,166 --> 00:54:23,041 Eighty-five percent of the tourism dollars spent in this town 1130 00:54:23,125 --> 00:54:24,500 are spent on Halloween night. 1131 00:54:24,583 --> 00:54:28,625 And I'm not gonna let no high school peckerhead jeopardize that. 1132 00:54:28,708 --> 00:54:31,541 -I just think that-- -Trick-or-treat, smell my feet. 1133 00:54:31,625 --> 00:54:34,291 -I just think that you're not-- -Smell my feet. 1134 00:54:34,375 --> 00:54:37,250 -I just think that-- -Smell my feet. 1135 00:54:37,333 --> 00:54:38,625 [marching band continues playing] 1136 00:54:38,708 --> 00:54:40,083 You really want me to smell them? 1137 00:54:41,625 --> 00:54:43,416 [owl hooting] 1138 00:54:44,958 --> 00:54:46,125 [dog barking in distance] 1139 00:54:47,708 --> 00:54:50,041 [distant howling] 1140 00:54:50,125 --> 00:54:51,500 Let's just go back, Danielle. 1141 00:54:51,583 --> 00:54:55,000 I don't want Mom to get home and see that Tommy left us by ourselves. 1142 00:54:55,083 --> 00:54:57,166 I think we'll all get in really big trouble for that. 1143 00:54:57,250 --> 00:54:58,875 Are we even going the right way? 1144 00:55:03,166 --> 00:55:04,083 Excuse me, sir? 1145 00:55:05,208 --> 00:55:07,375 Do you know the quickest way to Wallace Orchard? 1146 00:55:13,875 --> 00:55:16,708 -♪ It was Halloween night at the castle… ♪ -Hey, handsome. Soup's ready. 1147 00:55:16,791 --> 00:55:20,583 One clam, one chicken noodle, and one split pea. 1148 00:55:21,083 --> 00:55:23,875 So, you seem a little stressed. I mean, what can I do to help ya out? 1149 00:55:23,958 --> 00:55:25,458 Maybe a glass of Chardonnay? 1150 00:55:25,541 --> 00:55:28,166 Well, to be honest with ya, I don't drink beer. 1151 00:55:28,250 --> 00:55:30,333 But do you have any silver bullets? 1152 00:55:30,416 --> 00:55:32,875 That is not on the menu tonight. 1153 00:55:32,958 --> 00:55:36,708 But I happen to be an excellent listener if you want to, you know, 1154 00:55:37,333 --> 00:55:38,500 share anything with me. 1155 00:55:39,333 --> 00:55:40,166 Okay. 1156 00:55:41,458 --> 00:55:42,625 We all have a purpose. 1157 00:55:43,291 --> 00:55:45,958 Some people's purpose is to make sure all the streets are clean. 1158 00:55:46,041 --> 00:55:47,083 Some people's purpose, 1159 00:55:47,166 --> 00:55:49,958 like Kenny Rogers', is to make sure there's great tunes on the radio 1160 00:55:50,041 --> 00:55:52,166 that we can all sing along with on road trips. 1161 00:55:52,250 --> 00:55:54,083 Some people's purpose, like you, 1162 00:55:54,166 --> 00:55:57,875 are here to make sure that kids without parents end up with a mom anyways. 1163 00:55:57,958 --> 00:56:00,875 Who is nice and kind to 'em and makes them feel loved. 1164 00:56:00,958 --> 00:56:03,041 -You happen to have any A1 Sauce? -Yeah. 1165 00:56:03,833 --> 00:56:04,708 My whole life, 1166 00:56:04,791 --> 00:56:07,375 I felt my purpose was to make sure everybody 1167 00:56:07,458 --> 00:56:09,541 was safe and sound on Halloween. 1168 00:56:09,625 --> 00:56:12,083 But tonight, I have failed massively. 1169 00:56:12,166 --> 00:56:13,166 [thermos whirring] 1170 00:56:13,250 --> 00:56:17,333 Because a fine young man was abducted under my watch. 1171 00:56:17,791 --> 00:56:19,625 -That's on me. -No. 1172 00:56:19,708 --> 00:56:20,708 Mmm. 1173 00:56:20,791 --> 00:56:22,666 [turns thermos off] 1174 00:56:22,750 --> 00:56:23,791 How can I help you? 1175 00:56:25,875 --> 00:56:28,333 You just did help me by listening to my story. 1176 00:56:30,291 --> 00:56:31,375 Be careful today. 1177 00:56:32,291 --> 00:56:33,416 Danger is afoot. 1178 00:56:33,500 --> 00:56:36,708 Oh, well, I don't worry about me. I worry about my kids. 1179 00:56:36,791 --> 00:56:39,166 Called home. None of 'em picked up. 1180 00:56:39,250 --> 00:56:41,875 They're probably just watching a movie, though, and… 1181 00:56:41,958 --> 00:56:44,000 -Tommy's keeping an eye on them. -Tommy? 1182 00:56:44,083 --> 00:56:46,500 I'm sure he's been there the whole time. Without a doubt. 1183 00:56:47,125 --> 00:56:49,750 The night is young. Appreciate you being nice to me. 1184 00:56:49,833 --> 00:56:51,250 Of course, Hubie. 1185 00:56:51,875 --> 00:56:53,375 You're the best person I know. 1186 00:56:53,916 --> 00:56:57,333 You're always thinking of everyone else and never of yourself. 1187 00:56:57,958 --> 00:56:59,833 But I guess that's why you're a hero. 1188 00:57:05,208 --> 00:57:06,500 [giggles] 1189 00:57:06,583 --> 00:57:11,458 Did you see how scared Scooby was when that car started moving? [laughing] 1190 00:57:11,541 --> 00:57:14,208 -With his ping-pong paddle at the ready! -Oh, my God! 1191 00:57:14,291 --> 00:57:15,958 What a buffoon! 1192 00:57:16,041 --> 00:57:19,041 [mocking Hubie's voice] Mr. Hennessy! Mr. Hennessy! 1193 00:57:19,125 --> 00:57:20,208 [screams] 1194 00:57:20,291 --> 00:57:21,250 [tires screech] 1195 00:57:23,625 --> 00:57:25,083 There's somebody in the road. 1196 00:57:26,500 --> 00:57:29,333 -Who the hell is that? -It's not moving. 1197 00:57:29,416 --> 00:57:30,791 Looks like a dummy. 1198 00:57:30,875 --> 00:57:33,208 You look like a dummy. Go out and get it out of the way. 1199 00:57:34,375 --> 00:57:35,208 Okay. 1200 00:57:36,500 --> 00:57:38,708 [puffs, inhales] 1201 00:57:38,791 --> 00:57:40,416 Now, see, that does it for me. 1202 00:57:40,500 --> 00:57:41,375 You like that? 1203 00:57:42,000 --> 00:57:42,833 No. 1204 00:57:45,250 --> 00:57:49,541 [open door alert dinging] 1205 00:58:00,375 --> 00:58:02,458 [text keys tapping] 1206 00:58:19,291 --> 00:58:20,208 Scarecrow? 1207 00:58:21,958 --> 00:58:23,041 [Mr. Hennessy screams] 1208 00:58:28,958 --> 00:58:29,791 Lester! 1209 00:58:36,500 --> 00:58:37,333 Lester! 1210 00:58:39,791 --> 00:58:41,875 I'm gonna kick your ass for this, Lester. 1211 00:58:45,125 --> 00:58:47,666 I swear to God, if you jump out of one of these bushes, 1212 00:58:47,750 --> 00:58:49,416 I'm gonna punch you in the face! 1213 00:58:57,291 --> 00:58:58,125 What the-- 1214 00:58:58,833 --> 00:58:59,666 Lester! 1215 00:58:59,750 --> 00:59:00,916 [panting] 1216 00:59:01,000 --> 00:59:01,958 Where are you? 1217 00:59:02,041 --> 00:59:03,958 [screaming] 1218 00:59:06,500 --> 00:59:08,500 [grunting] 1219 00:59:09,541 --> 00:59:12,208 [Hubie] Valentine family, where are you? 1220 00:59:12,958 --> 00:59:13,833 I'm coming! 1221 00:59:14,625 --> 00:59:16,416 Danielle! Cooky! 1222 00:59:17,833 --> 00:59:20,958 I say, "Marco." You say, "Polo." Marco! 1223 00:59:21,041 --> 00:59:21,875 [man 1] Weirdo! 1224 00:59:22,750 --> 00:59:23,791 Marco! 1225 00:59:23,875 --> 00:59:24,708 [man 2] Asshole! 1226 00:59:26,041 --> 00:59:28,333 [fire crackling] 1227 00:59:37,541 --> 00:59:41,541 [bare footsteps running] 1228 00:59:43,250 --> 00:59:46,583 Hubie Dubois! Is that you? 1229 00:59:47,375 --> 00:59:50,041 [Walter] Oh! You must be Mrs. Dubois! 1230 00:59:50,541 --> 00:59:51,666 I'm Walter! 1231 00:59:52,250 --> 00:59:54,416 Nice to meet you, Walter. 1232 00:59:54,500 --> 00:59:56,750 It's a shame what they've done to your lawn! 1233 00:59:57,583 --> 00:59:59,208 Happens every year! 1234 01:00:01,125 --> 01:00:02,000 [grunts] 1235 01:00:02,166 --> 01:00:03,000 [panting] 1236 01:00:03,083 --> 01:00:08,500 [grunting, shrieking] 1237 01:00:09,583 --> 01:00:10,833 [gasps] Oh! 1238 01:00:12,500 --> 01:00:14,333 [wailing] 1239 01:00:14,416 --> 01:00:16,416 [grunting, screaming] 1240 01:00:16,750 --> 01:00:18,083 [handcuffs clicking] 1241 01:00:18,166 --> 01:00:19,583 Not tonight! 1242 01:00:20,291 --> 01:00:22,958 [gasping, grunting] 1243 01:00:23,708 --> 01:00:28,083 [panting] 1244 01:00:37,541 --> 01:00:38,666 [sighs] 1245 01:00:40,875 --> 01:00:41,875 We need to talk. 1246 01:00:46,333 --> 01:00:47,458 [Tommy] They're not up here. 1247 01:00:48,208 --> 01:00:49,708 [Megan] They're not down here, either. 1248 01:00:50,541 --> 01:00:51,583 Danielle! 1249 01:00:51,666 --> 01:00:52,833 Cooky! 1250 01:00:52,916 --> 01:00:55,458 -We didn't find them. -Hey! It's okay. We'll figure it out. 1251 01:00:55,541 --> 01:00:56,958 -We'll find them. -[pounding at door] 1252 01:00:57,625 --> 01:00:58,458 [Tommy] Oh, no. 1253 01:00:58,833 --> 01:01:01,083 [doorknob rattling] 1254 01:01:04,166 --> 01:01:05,458 [creaking] 1255 01:01:11,500 --> 01:01:13,416 [all screaming] 1256 01:01:13,500 --> 01:01:14,500 What are we screaming at? 1257 01:01:14,583 --> 01:01:16,125 [Tommy and Megan sigh] 1258 01:01:16,208 --> 01:01:18,000 -Bam. -Mr. Dubois, I screwed up. 1259 01:01:18,083 --> 01:01:20,708 -I can't find my sisters. -You don't know where the kids are? Huh. 1260 01:01:21,375 --> 01:01:23,083 'Cause I do. They're right here. 1261 01:01:23,166 --> 01:01:25,041 -[girls] Tommy! Tommy! -Oh, my God! 1262 01:01:25,125 --> 01:01:27,458 I'm so sorry I left guys. I'm so glad you're okay. 1263 01:01:27,541 --> 01:01:29,625 You are so cute with them. 1264 01:01:29,708 --> 01:01:31,250 You have a girlfriend? 1265 01:01:31,958 --> 01:01:34,541 I saw 'em coming through the Old McMillan shortcut. 1266 01:01:34,625 --> 01:01:37,125 It was funny, 'cause not many people know where that shortcut is. 1267 01:01:37,208 --> 01:01:40,083 Just me and a friend of mine, Richie Hartman. When I was a kid, 1268 01:01:40,166 --> 01:01:43,416 we used to finish our band practice and shoot right through there. 1269 01:01:43,916 --> 01:01:46,541 -Well, at least everybody's safe. -No one in Salem is safe tonight. 1270 01:01:46,625 --> 01:01:49,541 Do you understand me, Tommy? That's why I'm putting this family on lockdown. 1271 01:01:49,625 --> 01:01:52,500 Now, Tommy, you call your mother. Let her know you're home. 1272 01:01:52,583 --> 01:01:54,000 Megan, you call your parents. 1273 01:01:54,083 --> 01:01:56,333 Let them know you're staying at a friend's. That's for you. 1274 01:01:56,416 --> 01:02:00,125 You two, do me a favor. Eat all the candy you want, and then go straight to sleep. 1275 01:02:00,708 --> 01:02:03,875 And lock this door! No matter what, don't answer it! 1276 01:02:03,958 --> 01:02:05,250 What're you gonna do, Mr. Dubois? 1277 01:02:05,333 --> 01:02:08,083 I'm gonna do what I do every October 31st. 1278 01:02:08,166 --> 01:02:11,708 Make sure every citizen in this town is safe and protected. 1279 01:02:13,208 --> 01:02:16,875 Um, but do you have a bathroom I could use? 'Cause I, uh… 1280 01:02:17,666 --> 01:02:19,125 The soup kinda went right through me. 1281 01:02:19,916 --> 01:02:21,333 Upstairs. 1282 01:02:21,416 --> 01:02:23,250 Toilet? Is it a big toilet? 1283 01:02:23,333 --> 01:02:25,458 'Cause I got a lot to do. 1284 01:02:27,958 --> 01:02:30,500 [howling in distance] 1285 01:02:32,416 --> 01:02:34,625 [barking, howling] 1286 01:02:35,750 --> 01:02:36,750 I know that howl. 1287 01:02:37,041 --> 01:02:38,625 [howling continues] 1288 01:02:38,708 --> 01:02:39,625 Walter Lambert! 1289 01:02:42,000 --> 01:02:45,208 [howling continues, loudly] 1290 01:02:45,291 --> 01:02:48,083 [girl screaming] 1291 01:02:48,166 --> 01:02:50,833 [crowd chattering] 1292 01:02:50,916 --> 01:02:53,875 [man laughing maniacally] 1293 01:02:53,958 --> 01:02:55,875 [howling continues] 1294 01:02:56,958 --> 01:02:58,750 The transformation is complete. 1295 01:02:59,208 --> 01:03:00,333 [dog grunts] 1296 01:03:01,291 --> 01:03:05,416 While I understand that you are now a mindless killing machine, 1297 01:03:05,500 --> 01:03:10,875 I would like to speak with the human being that is deep down below your fur. 1298 01:03:11,250 --> 01:03:12,458 [girl screaming in distance] 1299 01:03:12,541 --> 01:03:13,458 Mr. Lambert. 1300 01:03:13,541 --> 01:03:14,500 [dog grunts] 1301 01:03:14,583 --> 01:03:15,416 Walter. 1302 01:03:17,125 --> 01:03:21,458 I cannot, in good faith, allow you to hurt another soul tonight, 1303 01:03:21,541 --> 01:03:24,791 even though this is Halloween, and even though I know this is-- 1304 01:03:26,083 --> 01:03:28,666 Mr. Lambert, you're better than that. 1305 01:03:28,750 --> 01:03:31,708 You-- Did you really wanna defecate in front of me, sir? 1306 01:03:32,916 --> 01:03:34,291 Oh, now, you're eating it! 1307 01:03:34,375 --> 01:03:36,750 Is that Michael Mundi you're eating right now? 1308 01:03:36,833 --> 01:03:39,083 Is he inside your feces? 1309 01:03:39,166 --> 01:03:42,375 -[barking] -Mr. Lambert! Get over here! 1310 01:03:42,458 --> 01:03:43,958 [woman screaming] 1311 01:03:44,750 --> 01:03:45,875 [man screaming] 1312 01:03:45,958 --> 01:03:47,708 [Hubie's voice] The only way to slay the beast 1313 01:03:47,791 --> 01:03:50,583 is a silver bullet right between the eyes. 1314 01:03:52,375 --> 01:03:54,166 [hollering] 1315 01:03:54,250 --> 01:03:55,583 Yo, dawg! That's my bullet! 1316 01:03:55,666 --> 01:03:56,541 [Hubie] Come here! 1317 01:03:56,625 --> 01:03:57,625 [hollering] 1318 01:03:57,708 --> 01:04:00,583 Oh! [panting, screaming] 1319 01:04:00,666 --> 01:04:01,500 Mr. Lambert? 1320 01:04:01,583 --> 01:04:02,916 [spooky theremin music playing] 1321 01:04:03,000 --> 01:04:03,833 Mr. Lambert. 1322 01:04:05,416 --> 01:04:06,500 Mr. Lambert? 1323 01:04:07,000 --> 01:04:09,000 [moaning, crying] 1324 01:04:09,083 --> 01:04:10,541 Mr. Lambert. 1325 01:04:11,708 --> 01:04:14,458 -[screeching, snarling] -[Hubie screaming] 1326 01:04:23,625 --> 01:04:24,583 [screams] 1327 01:04:26,000 --> 01:04:26,875 Mr. Lambert. 1328 01:04:27,750 --> 01:04:29,125 This is not your fault! 1329 01:04:30,041 --> 01:04:31,000 You are cursed! 1330 01:04:31,083 --> 01:04:31,958 Hello. 1331 01:04:32,833 --> 01:04:34,750 [screaming] 1332 01:04:34,833 --> 01:04:37,166 Mommy! No! Help me, Mommy! 1333 01:04:37,250 --> 01:04:39,833 Help me! Help me! 1334 01:04:39,916 --> 01:04:43,833 [sobbing, heaving] 1335 01:04:43,916 --> 01:04:45,875 -[man] And stay out! -[women laughing] 1336 01:04:45,958 --> 01:04:49,291 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 1337 01:04:49,375 --> 01:04:50,541 That was so terrifying! 1338 01:04:50,625 --> 01:04:52,958 -That was even crazier than last year! -Yes! 1339 01:04:53,041 --> 01:04:55,500 -How much fun was that? -That was so much fun. [laughing] 1340 01:04:55,583 --> 01:04:58,291 It almost made me forget that I buried my father today. 1341 01:04:58,958 --> 01:05:00,083 Oh, I'm sorry. 1342 01:05:00,166 --> 01:05:04,291 No, it's a good thing. I mean, not for him so much, 1343 01:05:04,375 --> 01:05:07,375 but it's given me time to be introspective. 1344 01:05:07,833 --> 01:05:09,291 -That's good. -I'm Pete Landolfa. 1345 01:05:09,375 --> 01:05:10,541 Oh, I'm Chantal. 1346 01:05:10,625 --> 01:05:11,583 -Chantal? -Yeah. 1347 01:05:11,666 --> 01:05:14,250 [spooky theremin music playing] 1348 01:05:18,000 --> 01:05:18,833 Come to me. 1349 01:05:22,208 --> 01:05:24,083 Walter. Come! 1350 01:05:26,916 --> 01:05:27,750 Here, Walter. 1351 01:05:27,833 --> 01:05:29,250 [patting leg] 1352 01:05:33,333 --> 01:05:34,458 I don't wanna do this. 1353 01:05:34,958 --> 01:05:36,958 You've been a very good neighbor to me. 1354 01:05:37,041 --> 01:05:39,041 But what has to be done, has to be done. 1355 01:05:40,500 --> 01:05:42,541 Right between… 1356 01:05:43,791 --> 01:05:44,708 the eyes! 1357 01:05:46,833 --> 01:05:49,041 Oh, no. 1358 01:05:49,125 --> 01:05:50,083 -[dog barks] -No! 1359 01:05:50,166 --> 01:05:51,958 Homeboy. Are you okay, man? 1360 01:05:52,041 --> 01:05:55,000 [screaming hysterically] 1361 01:05:55,083 --> 01:05:56,000 -Dude. -No! 1362 01:05:56,083 --> 01:05:58,625 This is not real. You get that, right? 1363 01:05:58,708 --> 01:06:01,083 We're just trying to raise money for our school. 1364 01:06:01,166 --> 01:06:02,916 [continues screaming] 1365 01:06:03,000 --> 01:06:03,958 Wait a second. 1366 01:06:04,958 --> 01:06:06,500 -Are you hittin' on me? -[laughing] 1367 01:06:06,583 --> 01:06:08,583 Because if so, that is incredibly sick. 1368 01:06:08,666 --> 01:06:10,125 We're having a conversation. 1369 01:06:10,208 --> 01:06:12,916 Mm-mmm. 'Cause you're, like, three times my age, okay? 1370 01:06:13,000 --> 01:06:16,750 Thrice. I was born around the same time you had your first heart bypass. 1371 01:06:16,833 --> 01:06:20,583 -[dog barks] -Oh, Buster! Hey, my big boy. 1372 01:06:20,666 --> 01:06:24,500 Are you here to protect me from this weirdo man that's trying to hit on me? 1373 01:06:24,583 --> 01:06:27,125 -[screaming hysterically] -[growls] 1374 01:06:28,875 --> 01:06:31,500 [screaming] My eyes are on fire! 1375 01:06:31,583 --> 01:06:33,500 -Why would you mace me? -Yo. 1376 01:06:33,583 --> 01:06:35,125 I'm a dentist. I help people! 1377 01:06:35,208 --> 01:06:37,708 Liar! Lucifer! 1378 01:06:37,791 --> 01:06:41,083 [laughing] That sounds like Hubie Dubois. 1379 01:06:41,166 --> 01:06:44,833 And since I struck out with you, I'm gonna take it out on him. 1380 01:06:45,458 --> 01:06:46,708 Have fun with that. 1381 01:06:47,375 --> 01:06:49,458 [man laughing maniacally] 1382 01:06:51,041 --> 01:06:52,916 [panting] 1383 01:06:53,000 --> 01:06:56,000 [maniacal laughter continues] 1384 01:06:57,000 --> 01:06:58,666 [gasps] Oh! Oh! 1385 01:06:59,500 --> 01:07:02,000 You gotta be-- Whoa. [chuckles] 1386 01:07:03,166 --> 01:07:06,583 There's this goof headed his way. Hubie Dubois. 1387 01:07:06,666 --> 01:07:09,541 When he gets here, I'll handle the scaring. 1388 01:07:09,625 --> 01:07:11,750 You just sit back and enjoy. [snickers] 1389 01:07:13,000 --> 01:07:15,458 [Hubie] Attention, haunted house patrons. 1390 01:07:15,541 --> 01:07:18,666 This is a direct order from the AUU. 1391 01:07:18,750 --> 01:07:21,583 Move quickly and quietly toward the exits. 1392 01:07:21,666 --> 01:07:23,708 The man-wolf has eaten his kryptonite! 1393 01:07:24,125 --> 01:07:25,125 Pubie! 1394 01:07:25,208 --> 01:07:27,291 [screaming] 1395 01:07:27,375 --> 01:07:28,291 [gasps] Huh? 1396 01:07:29,375 --> 01:07:31,208 Oh, my God. This is a travesty. 1397 01:07:31,291 --> 01:07:34,125 First, Mike Mundi. Now, Mr. Landolfa. 1398 01:07:34,833 --> 01:07:36,916 And why would God do this to such good people? 1399 01:07:37,000 --> 01:07:40,875 Good people? All those two ever did was abuse you, man. 1400 01:07:40,958 --> 01:07:44,458 You know who should feel bad right now? Our wonderful mayor. 1401 01:07:44,541 --> 01:07:45,791 I'm truly sorry. 1402 01:07:45,875 --> 01:07:48,625 You knew that high school kid from the corn maze was missing. 1403 01:07:48,708 --> 01:07:51,291 -But you told nobody. -Yeah. Bad for business, I guess. 1404 01:07:51,375 --> 01:07:55,166 Oh, they just found Lester Hennessy's car abandoned in the middle of Whipstick Road. 1405 01:07:55,250 --> 01:07:58,125 -No sign of Lester or Mary. -No! 1406 01:07:58,625 --> 01:08:00,000 So, we are cancelin' the fireworks 1407 01:08:00,083 --> 01:08:02,291 and all other related Halloween activities. 1408 01:08:02,375 --> 01:08:04,250 -Officer Steve. -Not now, Hubie. 1409 01:08:04,333 --> 01:08:07,291 -I think I know who did it. -Oh, so do I. 1410 01:08:07,375 --> 01:08:08,458 His name… 1411 01:08:10,041 --> 01:08:11,375 is Walter Lambert. 1412 01:08:11,958 --> 01:08:13,166 -Walter who? -Lambert. 1413 01:08:14,000 --> 01:08:17,083 Scientists would call him a lyco-thorpe. 1414 01:08:17,166 --> 01:08:18,750 I think he means a lycanthrope. 1415 01:08:18,833 --> 01:08:20,583 -Is that what it is? -It's a werewolf. 1416 01:08:20,666 --> 01:08:22,375 -Okay. -Hubie, I will lock you up. 1417 01:08:22,458 --> 01:08:25,041 -I got four people missing here. -Officer Steve, listen to me. 1418 01:08:25,125 --> 01:08:28,375 I saw the man destroy his home earlier today. 1419 01:08:28,458 --> 01:08:30,291 Then I saw him in the pumpkin patch. 1420 01:08:30,375 --> 01:08:33,791 His shirt was torn up. He was barking at the moon. 1421 01:08:33,875 --> 01:08:35,458 His arms were very, very hairy. 1422 01:08:35,541 --> 01:08:40,583 Then I saw him at this haunted house, his tail wagging in murderous glee. 1423 01:08:41,083 --> 01:08:44,708 -Wait, you talking about my dog, Buster. -That was Walter Lambert! 1424 01:08:45,291 --> 01:08:46,291 Where does he live? 1425 01:08:46,375 --> 01:08:48,333 Fifty-Nine Elm Street. Check on it. 1426 01:08:48,416 --> 01:08:50,208 -There's your killer. -[man on phone] Salem PD. 1427 01:08:50,291 --> 01:08:52,208 Blake, I need you to go out to 59 Elm. 1428 01:08:52,291 --> 01:08:55,083 There should be a guy there. New in town. Possibly shirtless. 1429 01:08:55,166 --> 01:08:58,333 Yeah. Middle-aged, growls a lot, glue-on hairy hands? 1430 01:08:58,416 --> 01:09:00,958 Yeah, I got him right here. Him and your boy, Richie Hartman. 1431 01:09:01,041 --> 01:09:04,000 They both came by and turned themselves in, like, 45 minutes ago. 1432 01:09:04,083 --> 01:09:05,083 Together? 1433 01:09:05,166 --> 01:09:08,916 Yeah. Apparently, Lambert is Hartman's roommate at the mental hospital. 1434 01:09:09,000 --> 01:09:12,250 Sorry. Werewolf Treatment Center. 1435 01:09:12,333 --> 01:09:15,583 Lambert broke out about a month ago, and then Hartman broke out yesterday 1436 01:09:15,666 --> 01:09:17,916 to try to find him and convince him to come back. 1437 01:09:18,000 --> 01:09:19,541 It's actually pretty sweet, isn't it? 1438 01:09:19,625 --> 01:09:21,833 So, you've had eyes on them for 45 minutes? 1439 01:09:21,916 --> 01:09:23,375 [Blake] Almost, like, an hour now. 1440 01:09:23,458 --> 01:09:26,916 And also, Lambert's real name is Nick Hudson. Yeah. Walter Lambert 1441 01:09:27,000 --> 01:09:29,625 is just some name that he got off a tombstone on his way into town. 1442 01:09:29,708 --> 01:09:31,791 All right, Blake. I got it. Thank you. 1443 01:09:31,875 --> 01:09:35,541 I feel bad you got yourself in even more trouble just to save me. 1444 01:09:35,625 --> 01:09:38,291 No, it was good to get out of that place for a while. 1445 01:09:38,375 --> 01:09:41,416 -You did me a favor. Thank you. -Did you do anything fun? 1446 01:09:42,083 --> 01:09:45,000 I pissed on a tombstone, pissed on the street. 1447 01:09:45,083 --> 01:09:47,458 Just some fun pissing stuff, you know. 1448 01:09:47,541 --> 01:09:50,375 -Nobody pees more than you. -I'm peein' now. 1449 01:09:50,458 --> 01:09:53,541 [both laughing] 1450 01:09:56,958 --> 01:10:01,083 -That's a good roommate. Yes. [chuckles] -[sniffing, panting] 1451 01:10:01,166 --> 01:10:02,833 -Who's a good roommate? Yes. Yes. -[barking] 1452 01:10:02,916 --> 01:10:04,291 [Hartman chuckling] Yes, you are. 1453 01:10:06,083 --> 01:10:10,375 Lambert and Hartman have been in custody during the whole Landolfa disappearance. 1454 01:10:10,458 --> 01:10:11,916 So, it couldn't have been them. 1455 01:10:12,000 --> 01:10:15,083 -[dog whimpers] -Buster, my baby! 1456 01:10:15,166 --> 01:10:18,333 Oh, by the way, he ate a silver bullet if you wanna check his feces tomorrow. 1457 01:10:18,416 --> 01:10:19,666 I ain't doin' that. 1458 01:10:20,458 --> 01:10:22,916 Then who? Are there any clues? 1459 01:10:23,000 --> 01:10:26,708 Landolfa did go back into the haunted house to look for Hubie. 1460 01:10:26,791 --> 01:10:31,375 Yeah. Hubie seems to be around a lot of people before they go missing. 1461 01:10:32,791 --> 01:10:35,833 -People who have messed with him. -Did the Hennesseys mess with Hubie, too? 1462 01:10:36,416 --> 01:10:37,541 Oh, they live for it. 1463 01:10:37,625 --> 01:10:41,208 So, it was payback time. Wasn't it, Hubie? 1464 01:10:41,291 --> 01:10:44,291 No, I would never hurt anybody. I-- 1465 01:10:44,375 --> 01:10:45,666 You got the wrong guy. 1466 01:10:47,000 --> 01:10:49,166 -Father Dave. -Have you been planning this all along? 1467 01:10:49,875 --> 01:10:52,250 -[snarling] -You sick man. 1468 01:10:52,333 --> 01:10:53,958 -Have you? -I-- 1469 01:10:54,583 --> 01:10:55,750 Have you? 1470 01:10:56,916 --> 01:10:57,750 Frankenstein! 1471 01:10:58,291 --> 01:10:59,500 [dog grunts] 1472 01:11:00,125 --> 01:11:01,041 [woman groans] 1473 01:11:01,125 --> 01:11:04,250 Did we just fall for the old Frankenstein trick? 1474 01:11:05,541 --> 01:11:08,208 [whimpering] 1475 01:11:08,958 --> 01:11:10,375 [screams, thuds] 1476 01:11:11,250 --> 01:11:12,791 [crying, whimpering] 1477 01:11:12,875 --> 01:11:14,083 [screams] Oh-ho! 1478 01:11:14,166 --> 01:11:15,041 [yells] Ya! 1479 01:11:17,166 --> 01:11:18,083 [shrieks] 1480 01:11:19,875 --> 01:11:22,666 [whimpering, screaming] 1481 01:11:24,791 --> 01:11:26,083 [hooting] 1482 01:11:26,166 --> 01:11:27,708 [grunting] 1483 01:11:28,708 --> 01:11:30,208 -[Aurora] Bad news, gang. -[thunderclap] 1484 01:11:30,291 --> 01:11:31,958 WTCH has just learned 1485 01:11:32,041 --> 01:11:34,625 that Salem's Halloween is getting shut down. 1486 01:11:34,708 --> 01:11:37,500 -[growling] -[Hubie screaming] 1487 01:11:37,583 --> 01:11:41,458 [Aurora] The police department is advising everyone to stay home and lock doors. 1488 01:11:42,750 --> 01:11:45,666 But, my little Halloweenies, we can all still celebrate 1489 01:11:45,750 --> 01:11:48,583 with nature's fireworks lighting up the night sky. 1490 01:11:48,666 --> 01:11:50,875 [thunderclap] 1491 01:11:50,958 --> 01:11:53,458 Not sure what's happening in this creepy town, 1492 01:11:53,541 --> 01:11:56,708 but sounds like a good idea to cuddle up with someone special 1493 01:11:56,791 --> 01:12:00,541 and enjoy the last half hour of Halloween under the covers. 1494 01:12:00,625 --> 01:12:03,916 And just hope that whoever you cuddling isn't a madman. 1495 01:12:04,625 --> 01:12:11,583 [Aurora laughing maniacally] 1496 01:12:20,416 --> 01:12:21,625 [mouthing] 1497 01:12:22,666 --> 01:12:24,500 [thunder rumbling] 1498 01:12:28,125 --> 01:12:30,583 Well, looks like I have company. 1499 01:12:31,125 --> 01:12:33,833 So, we're going to take a word from our scary sponsors. 1500 01:12:34,458 --> 01:12:36,833 -[whistles like theremin] -[man] W… T… C… H. 1501 01:12:36,916 --> 01:12:38,958 -Aurora? -[gasps] 1502 01:12:39,625 --> 01:12:41,500 -[deep voice] Hubie Dubois. -Yes. 1503 01:12:41,583 --> 01:12:45,125 I'd recognize that voice anywhere. You look exactly how I pictured you. 1504 01:12:45,208 --> 01:12:50,083 To be honest with you, you don't look like the way I was picturing you. 1505 01:12:50,666 --> 01:12:53,541 [high-pitched voice] I guess my radio voice throws people off sometimes. 1506 01:12:53,625 --> 01:12:55,166 Yeah, that-- I think that's it. 1507 01:12:55,250 --> 01:12:56,875 [giggling in high-pitched voice] 1508 01:12:56,958 --> 01:12:58,125 [deep voice] Have a seat, man. 1509 01:12:59,458 --> 01:13:01,083 ["Werewolves of London" playing] 1510 01:13:01,166 --> 01:13:02,958 What brings you all the way here this evenin'? 1511 01:13:03,041 --> 01:13:06,916 As you know, I'm a longtime listener, and I always respect the advice you give 1512 01:13:07,000 --> 01:13:08,083 to so many callers. 1513 01:13:08,166 --> 01:13:12,541 Right now, I'm in dire need of the most perspicacious advice 1514 01:13:12,625 --> 01:13:14,750 -you have ever given to any other human-- -[knocking] 1515 01:13:15,375 --> 01:13:19,291 [Aurora gasps] Oh, my God. Isn't that so sweet? My wife brought snacks. 1516 01:13:19,375 --> 01:13:22,625 [deep voice] Ooh! Hey, baby. How you doin'? 1517 01:13:22,708 --> 01:13:25,041 Oh, and who is this? 1518 01:13:25,125 --> 01:13:26,708 Baby, this is Hubie Dubois. 1519 01:13:26,791 --> 01:13:28,833 Whoa! For real? 1520 01:13:28,916 --> 01:13:30,875 Yes. Nice to meet you, ma'am. 1521 01:13:30,958 --> 01:13:33,375 I'm looking forward to hearing your real voice. 1522 01:13:34,125 --> 01:13:35,708 This is my real voice. 1523 01:13:36,625 --> 01:13:39,250 Right. I know it is. I was just saying, you know… 1524 01:13:39,958 --> 01:13:42,291 So, I am a big fan of your husband, Aurora. 1525 01:13:42,375 --> 01:13:43,500 Oh, yeah. 1526 01:13:43,583 --> 01:13:47,458 I feel like you're the second most frequent caller we get. 1527 01:13:47,541 --> 01:13:50,416 -Besides that one lady. -Someone calls more than I do? 1528 01:13:50,500 --> 01:13:54,083 [laughs] Actually, I think she might have a little something for you, Hubie. 1529 01:13:54,166 --> 01:13:57,625 She always dedicates a song to a special someone. 1530 01:13:57,708 --> 01:13:58,750 Ooh! 1531 01:13:58,833 --> 01:14:01,541 And we all need that special someone. 1532 01:14:01,625 --> 01:14:03,291 -Right, baby? -Yes, we do. Oh! 1533 01:14:03,375 --> 01:14:04,208 Dig in. 1534 01:14:04,291 --> 01:14:10,958 [both moaning] 1535 01:14:11,833 --> 01:14:13,708 -A couple days back… -Oh, man. 1536 01:14:13,791 --> 01:14:17,166 …she had a couple glasses of Chardonnay. Her guard was down, 1537 01:14:17,750 --> 01:14:20,666 and she asked to dedicate a special song to Hubie. 1538 01:14:20,750 --> 01:14:23,750 -Chardonnay, eh? -You know what they say about Chardonnay? 1539 01:14:24,583 --> 01:14:29,583 Truth serum. She said she's gonna show you how much she loves you on Halloween. 1540 01:14:30,333 --> 01:14:34,125 -Do you think we could trace the number? -I don't need to. Caller ID. 1541 01:14:34,208 --> 01:14:38,166 617-555-0968. 1542 01:14:38,250 --> 01:14:39,125 Sound familiar? 1543 01:14:39,208 --> 01:14:42,791 No. But there is a number that needs to be dialed immediately. 1544 01:14:43,458 --> 01:14:44,291 911! 1545 01:14:46,916 --> 01:14:47,750 [hooting] 1546 01:14:51,875 --> 01:14:52,958 [computer beeping] 1547 01:14:53,666 --> 01:14:54,541 Oh. 1548 01:14:54,625 --> 01:14:56,250 It's a prepaid phone. 1549 01:14:56,333 --> 01:14:58,750 -[high-pitched voice] Bitch used a burner. -Mm-hmm. 1550 01:14:59,875 --> 01:15:00,916 [moaning softly] 1551 01:15:01,916 --> 01:15:05,083 Any idea of someone who might have a thing for you, or… 1552 01:15:05,166 --> 01:15:07,458 How would somebody detect such a situation? 1553 01:15:07,541 --> 01:15:11,958 Anyone in town who seems like they might actually enjoy talking to you. 1554 01:15:12,041 --> 01:15:15,000 There's one woman, but she's the nicest lady I ever met my life. 1555 01:15:15,083 --> 01:15:17,166 Well, they all seem nice till they kill you. 1556 01:15:17,250 --> 01:15:18,958 What's the desperate sicko's name? 1557 01:15:20,833 --> 01:15:21,750 Um… 1558 01:15:23,750 --> 01:15:25,958 [whispers] The high school hat trick, Violet Valentine. 1559 01:15:26,041 --> 01:15:28,166 [laughing] 1560 01:15:29,375 --> 01:15:31,333 Her? And you? 1561 01:15:31,416 --> 01:15:32,333 I mean… 1562 01:15:33,958 --> 01:15:36,375 All right. Let's go see if we can get ourselves a confession. 1563 01:15:36,458 --> 01:15:40,583 Ooh! This is some Dateline NBC shit. 1564 01:15:46,250 --> 01:15:49,208 [Hubie] Stormhawk in position and petrified. Over. 1565 01:15:49,291 --> 01:15:51,583 All right. First of all, we're not gonna use code names. 1566 01:15:51,666 --> 01:15:52,666 -Okay? -[Hubie] Copy. 1567 01:15:52,750 --> 01:15:56,333 Did you send backup to my residence to have eyes on my mother? Over. 1568 01:15:56,416 --> 01:15:58,125 I'm a little short-handed tonight, 1569 01:15:58,208 --> 01:15:59,916 so I asked Father Dave to keep an eye on her. 1570 01:16:00,000 --> 01:16:03,083 Negative! Request armed units to that vicinity. Over. 1571 01:16:03,166 --> 01:16:05,333 Sorry. I can't spare the manpower tonight. 1572 01:16:05,416 --> 01:16:06,250 Here she comes. 1573 01:16:06,708 --> 01:16:10,708 Okay, Hubie. It's showtime. Remember, we're lookin' for a confession. 1574 01:16:10,791 --> 01:16:12,500 But what if I can't get her to confess? Over. 1575 01:16:12,583 --> 01:16:15,625 If you feel like you've done all you can, or you feel like you're in danger, 1576 01:16:15,708 --> 01:16:18,875 say the code word. At that point, we'll call the burner phone. 1577 01:16:18,958 --> 01:16:20,750 If she picks up, we can implicate her that way. 1578 01:16:20,833 --> 01:16:22,416 And what's the code word again? Over. 1579 01:16:23,083 --> 01:16:25,125 -You don't have to say over. -[Hubie] Okay. 1580 01:16:25,208 --> 01:16:26,500 Code word is pumpkin. 1581 01:16:27,083 --> 01:16:29,083 Roger that. Bogey on my twelve. 1582 01:16:29,166 --> 01:16:31,333 Three on a match. Smoke 'em if you got 'em. 1583 01:16:31,416 --> 01:16:33,791 "Smoke 'em if you got--" What the hell is he talking about? 1584 01:16:33,875 --> 01:16:35,083 I don't know. 1585 01:16:41,666 --> 01:16:43,666 What'd you ask me out here for, Hubie? 1586 01:16:43,750 --> 01:16:44,583 What's up? 1587 01:16:46,791 --> 01:16:47,625 Pumpkin. 1588 01:16:47,708 --> 01:16:48,583 [groans] 1589 01:16:48,666 --> 01:16:50,125 -Straight to pumpkin? -Yeah. 1590 01:16:50,208 --> 01:16:52,166 Pumpkin what? 1591 01:16:52,250 --> 01:16:53,083 Just pumpkin. 1592 01:16:53,833 --> 01:16:54,666 Don't kill me. 1593 01:16:54,750 --> 01:16:56,583 -You gotta be kiddin' me. -Dialing. 1594 01:16:57,250 --> 01:16:58,208 Hubie. 1595 01:16:59,166 --> 01:17:00,916 I would never hurt you. 1596 01:17:01,000 --> 01:17:02,541 Thank you. Pumpkin. 1597 01:17:03,416 --> 01:17:04,541 Now! Pumpkin. 1598 01:17:04,625 --> 01:17:05,458 [call ringing] 1599 01:17:05,541 --> 01:17:06,916 -It's ringing. -Is this a prank? 1600 01:17:07,000 --> 01:17:09,000 Is there somebody watching us right now? 1601 01:17:09,083 --> 01:17:12,250 -No one can see us or hear us. -She must not have the phone on her. 1602 01:17:12,708 --> 01:17:15,333 [heavy breathing] 1603 01:17:15,416 --> 01:17:16,250 Hello? 1604 01:17:17,666 --> 01:17:22,083 I just wanted to tell you that I have been in love with you since second grade. 1605 01:17:22,708 --> 01:17:24,166 -What? -Hello? 1606 01:17:24,250 --> 01:17:25,833 [whispers] Can you trace it now? 1607 01:17:25,916 --> 01:17:27,666 [heavy breathing continues] 1608 01:17:27,750 --> 01:17:32,291 Hubie, I've been in love with you since the first grade. 1609 01:17:34,083 --> 01:17:35,750 What took you so long? 1610 01:17:36,875 --> 01:17:38,541 I was in love with our teacher. 1611 01:17:39,166 --> 01:17:40,000 Miss Glennon? 1612 01:17:41,083 --> 01:17:44,541 -Wasn't she, like, 70? -I liked the way she smelled. 1613 01:17:46,458 --> 01:17:47,541 I can't believe this. 1614 01:17:48,083 --> 01:17:53,375 I can't believe that I spent three years with a self-confident-for-no-reason, 1615 01:17:53,458 --> 01:17:56,958 bearded, human-ogre when I could have been with you. 1616 01:17:57,041 --> 01:17:58,791 Ouch. That even hurt me. 1617 01:18:00,791 --> 01:18:03,625 I'm getting a location. Steve, look at this. 1618 01:18:04,583 --> 01:18:07,125 -[Steve] Stormhawk, abort! -I thought you were out of my league. 1619 01:18:07,208 --> 01:18:08,833 -Why? -Stormhawk, repeat, abort! 1620 01:18:08,916 --> 01:18:10,583 It's the best news I ever heard in my life. 1621 01:18:10,666 --> 01:18:13,291 Abort. The killer's cell phone is in your house! 1622 01:18:13,375 --> 01:18:14,958 Mama! 1623 01:18:15,041 --> 01:18:17,583 No! No way! 1624 01:18:17,666 --> 01:18:20,708 Lock your doors! Make sure you don't open them! 1625 01:18:20,791 --> 01:18:23,541 Take care of your children! I'm gonna steal a boat! 1626 01:18:23,625 --> 01:18:25,458 Mama! 1627 01:18:27,541 --> 01:18:28,458 I love you! 1628 01:18:35,708 --> 01:18:38,333 [clock chiming] 1629 01:18:42,333 --> 01:18:44,875 Oh, no. They got Father Dave. 1630 01:18:48,250 --> 01:18:49,208 Oh, my God. 1631 01:18:49,291 --> 01:18:50,916 -Boo! -[screaming] 1632 01:18:51,000 --> 01:18:53,500 [laughing] 1633 01:18:54,083 --> 01:18:55,791 Why aren't you watching my mother? 1634 01:18:55,875 --> 01:18:59,041 The killer's in the house! The killer's in the house! 1635 01:18:59,125 --> 01:19:00,958 There's no one in the house but her. 1636 01:19:02,208 --> 01:19:03,041 Hubie? 1637 01:19:03,875 --> 01:19:04,958 Can you help me down? 1638 01:19:06,458 --> 01:19:07,666 Ma! Ma! 1639 01:19:11,083 --> 01:19:12,041 You're okay. 1640 01:19:13,708 --> 01:19:16,166 Why, yes, Hubie. Why wouldn't I be? 1641 01:19:16,916 --> 01:19:17,791 Mmm. 1642 01:19:25,500 --> 01:19:26,333 Oh, no. 1643 01:19:33,791 --> 01:19:35,000 So, um… 1644 01:19:36,500 --> 01:19:39,458 Am I your special someone, Mom? 1645 01:19:40,333 --> 01:19:41,458 Always, Hubie. 1646 01:19:42,041 --> 01:19:42,916 Mm-hmm. 1647 01:19:43,500 --> 01:19:46,000 And… today, did you-- 1648 01:19:47,500 --> 01:19:50,041 did you try to show me just how much you love me? 1649 01:19:51,208 --> 01:19:54,500 Why, yes, I did, Hubie. I truly did. 1650 01:20:13,125 --> 01:20:14,541 -[man 1] Hubie! -[woman 1] Hubie! 1651 01:20:14,625 --> 01:20:16,416 [man 1] Get us out of here! Help! 1652 01:20:16,500 --> 01:20:18,833 [Landolfa] Hubie, please, get us out of here! 1653 01:20:18,916 --> 01:20:20,791 [all shouting hysterically] 1654 01:20:20,875 --> 01:20:22,625 Hubie, there's something wrong with your mom! 1655 01:20:22,708 --> 01:20:24,833 Come on over here and let me punch your mom in the face! 1656 01:20:24,916 --> 01:20:27,458 I mean, the good news is you're still alive. I was-- 1657 01:20:27,541 --> 01:20:29,833 Nice observation, toolbox! Now get us out of this! 1658 01:20:29,916 --> 01:20:34,375 -I'm so sorry. -I tried to explain to you already, Hubie. 1659 01:20:34,458 --> 01:20:37,958 If you don't fight back, the bullies never stop. 1660 01:20:38,041 --> 01:20:40,500 So, I had to fight back for you. 1661 01:20:40,583 --> 01:20:42,083 [Mike] Please, Hubie! Oh, my God! 1662 01:20:42,166 --> 01:20:43,250 Hubie, that's gas! 1663 01:20:43,333 --> 01:20:46,708 Mommy, I would've been satisfied if you put itching powder in their sleeping bag. 1664 01:20:46,791 --> 01:20:48,000 This is extreme. 1665 01:20:48,791 --> 01:20:51,500 Don't do this to me. Hubie, I'll be your friend forever! 1666 01:20:51,583 --> 01:20:53,041 [tires screech] 1667 01:20:53,125 --> 01:20:54,333 [all chattering, shouting] 1668 01:20:54,416 --> 01:20:56,333 [man] The old lady said they'd be in the backyard. 1669 01:20:56,416 --> 01:20:57,500 [Tracy] Roll it! Roll it! 1670 01:20:57,583 --> 01:20:59,333 You don't have to do this. This is too much. 1671 01:20:59,416 --> 01:21:04,083 We are here and we are live at an unfolding scene of Halloween horror. 1672 01:21:04,166 --> 01:21:06,750 -[victims shouting, chattering] -[Hubie] Ma. Ma. 1673 01:21:06,833 --> 01:21:09,958 -Mom, I really don't want you to do this. -I know, Hubie. 1674 01:21:10,041 --> 01:21:13,708 That's what makes you so wonderful. And that's why I have to do it. 1675 01:21:13,791 --> 01:21:16,250 I have to make it good for you before I go. 1676 01:21:16,333 --> 01:21:17,166 Before you go? 1677 01:21:18,291 --> 01:21:21,166 -To Heaven? -No. Probably going to Hell, Hubie. 1678 01:21:21,250 --> 01:21:22,541 [sirens wailing] 1679 01:21:22,625 --> 01:21:25,750 The cops are here! You're goin' to jail, you crazy old bat! 1680 01:21:25,833 --> 01:21:29,666 -Well, then I better do this now. -[Mr. Hennessy] My God. No, lady. Wait. 1681 01:21:29,750 --> 01:21:32,083 -[all screaming, shouting] -No! No, no, no, no! 1682 01:21:32,166 --> 01:21:33,958 -Please don't. -[Landolfa] Hubie, stop her. 1683 01:21:34,041 --> 01:21:37,625 [voices muted] 1684 01:21:39,500 --> 01:21:40,750 [distorted, echoing] Help me! 1685 01:21:44,125 --> 01:21:46,000 -Hubie! -[Hubie screams] 1686 01:21:46,083 --> 01:21:48,000 [Landolfa laughing] 1687 01:21:49,833 --> 01:21:50,666 No! 1688 01:21:51,541 --> 01:21:53,916 [screaming] 1689 01:21:54,666 --> 01:21:55,708 [echoing] No. 1690 01:21:57,166 --> 01:21:59,583 [screaming] No! 1691 01:22:00,625 --> 01:22:07,500 [all laughing maniacally] 1692 01:22:12,166 --> 01:22:16,250 Always thinking of everyone else, never thinking of yourself. 1693 01:22:16,333 --> 01:22:18,541 But I guess that's why you're a hero. 1694 01:22:21,000 --> 01:22:21,875 [Landolfa] Hubie! 1695 01:22:22,458 --> 01:22:25,041 No! 1696 01:22:44,041 --> 01:22:44,875 [squeals] 1697 01:22:44,958 --> 01:22:46,458 -Man. -Freeze, Mrs. Dubois! 1698 01:22:48,208 --> 01:22:49,833 Hold your fire until my command. 1699 01:22:50,333 --> 01:22:51,500 Why did we bring them again? 1700 01:22:51,583 --> 01:22:53,958 There was nobody left at the station. We had to. 1701 01:22:54,041 --> 01:22:56,625 I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Mommy. This is my fault. 1702 01:22:56,708 --> 01:22:58,416 -[Mom] That's okay, Hubie. -[Landolfa] Hubie! 1703 01:22:58,500 --> 01:23:00,541 -Untie us, dummy! -Come on, you stupid dummy! 1704 01:23:00,625 --> 01:23:02,833 -Untie us, now! -[Mike] Are you paying attention? 1705 01:23:02,916 --> 01:23:04,625 [Mom] Okay. Wow. 1706 01:23:05,250 --> 01:23:06,750 Shame on you. 1707 01:23:06,833 --> 01:23:10,125 Hubie just saved your lives, and you treat him like this. 1708 01:23:10,916 --> 01:23:12,958 Can one of you tell me why? 1709 01:23:13,041 --> 01:23:14,708 [Landolfa] Just look at him! 1710 01:23:14,791 --> 01:23:16,625 He's so… Hubie! 1711 01:23:16,708 --> 01:23:18,500 [all snickering] 1712 01:23:18,583 --> 01:23:20,041 Yes, he's Hubie. 1713 01:23:20,125 --> 01:23:21,666 He's helpful. 1714 01:23:22,375 --> 01:23:25,875 He's courteous, he's cheerful, he's considerate. 1715 01:23:25,958 --> 01:23:27,833 What a bad, bad man. 1716 01:23:27,916 --> 01:23:31,958 My great-great-great-great-great- grandmother laid down her life, 1717 01:23:32,041 --> 01:23:34,125 trying to save innocent people. 1718 01:23:34,208 --> 01:23:35,416 I was there. 1719 01:23:35,500 --> 01:23:41,000 And my son did her one better. He just saved four ungrateful jackasses. 1720 01:23:41,750 --> 01:23:42,583 Thanks, Pubie. 1721 01:23:42,666 --> 01:23:45,541 Well, you can't even thank him without insulting him. 1722 01:23:45,625 --> 01:23:48,583 I'm sorry. I don't know why I said Pubie. It just came out. 1723 01:23:48,666 --> 01:23:51,375 Could it be because you feel threatened? 1724 01:23:52,583 --> 01:23:53,833 [stammers] 1725 01:23:54,541 --> 01:23:56,958 I feel a lot of pressure to be cool all the time. 1726 01:23:57,916 --> 01:24:00,166 I'm jealous of Hubie being able to be himself. 1727 01:24:00,708 --> 01:24:03,250 I lost my hair 20 years ago, 1728 01:24:03,333 --> 01:24:05,750 and every time I walk into a room, I feel silly. 1729 01:24:06,333 --> 01:24:11,083 Why should someone like Hubie have such a thick, luxuriant head of hair, 1730 01:24:11,166 --> 01:24:13,875 and I look like a California raisin? 1731 01:24:15,166 --> 01:24:17,208 I have never felt sexually fulfilled. 1732 01:24:17,291 --> 01:24:18,666 -But-- -Oh, shut up, Lester. 1733 01:24:18,750 --> 01:24:21,083 You're usually there. You know it's true. 1734 01:24:21,166 --> 01:24:22,791 I'm guessing… 1735 01:24:22,875 --> 01:24:25,250 Hubie hasn't had a lot of sex. 1736 01:24:25,916 --> 01:24:26,750 No, ma'am. 1737 01:24:27,666 --> 01:24:28,916 Hasn't had any sex. 1738 01:24:29,000 --> 01:24:29,833 Mmm. 1739 01:24:30,916 --> 01:24:32,625 But what he does have is hope. 1740 01:24:35,000 --> 01:24:36,666 Damn him and his hope! 1741 01:24:39,583 --> 01:24:42,708 I was diagnosed with dyslexia in the eighth grade. 1742 01:24:43,458 --> 01:24:47,875 I faked it for the doctors, but I'm really just dumb. 1743 01:24:48,583 --> 01:24:50,708 I never really told anybody. 1744 01:24:51,708 --> 01:24:53,916 You're probably all surprised. 1745 01:24:54,000 --> 01:24:55,666 -No, I'm not surprised. -Nope. 1746 01:24:55,750 --> 01:24:56,833 -You surprised? -[laughs] No. 1747 01:24:57,583 --> 01:25:02,291 But Hubie uses big words, and they come out so natural for him. 1748 01:25:02,375 --> 01:25:03,750 It pisses me off. 1749 01:25:04,250 --> 01:25:05,708 Oh, 'cause of the dumb thing. 1750 01:25:06,583 --> 01:25:09,083 My brother-in-law once said that I had no ambition. 1751 01:25:10,416 --> 01:25:12,583 And then he bit me, and I became a werewolf. 1752 01:25:13,750 --> 01:25:14,666 [howls softly] 1753 01:25:16,083 --> 01:25:16,916 You see? 1754 01:25:17,708 --> 01:25:21,500 Hubie's smart, has nice hair, and sex hope. 1755 01:25:22,166 --> 01:25:23,000 But to me, 1756 01:25:23,666 --> 01:25:25,708 his best quality is this. 1757 01:25:25,791 --> 01:25:30,333 He can weather all of your insults and your thrown objects, 1758 01:25:30,416 --> 01:25:34,333 and he responds with humor and-- and kindness. 1759 01:25:34,958 --> 01:25:36,291 Could you say the same? 1760 01:25:36,375 --> 01:25:40,875 Could any of you take the abuse you dish out to my Hubie? 1761 01:25:42,791 --> 01:25:46,166 I busted a guy for DWI last week, and, uh… 1762 01:25:46,958 --> 01:25:50,458 he said it was an honor to be arrested by a Muppet. 1763 01:25:51,916 --> 01:25:53,500 I acted like I didn't hear him. 1764 01:25:54,416 --> 01:25:57,000 But then I cried in my squad car for about half an hour. 1765 01:25:57,375 --> 01:26:01,375 You see, Hubie. True bravery's being kind. 1766 01:26:01,833 --> 01:26:04,458 Even to those who are being cruel to you. 1767 01:26:05,166 --> 01:26:07,250 I just always wanted to be as nice as you, Mom. 1768 01:26:07,333 --> 01:26:08,625 Oh, you were nicer. 1769 01:26:09,333 --> 01:26:13,958 But now I know that you're ready to spread your wings and fly without me. 1770 01:26:14,041 --> 01:26:16,416 You don't have to be scared anymore. 1771 01:26:17,000 --> 01:26:18,458 I'm feeling emotional. 1772 01:26:18,541 --> 01:26:20,583 -And a little horny. -Ooh! 1773 01:26:20,666 --> 01:26:22,000 -Not for you. -Oh. 1774 01:26:22,083 --> 01:26:25,166 Just know that I'll always love you. 1775 01:26:25,250 --> 01:26:26,791 And happy Halloween. 1776 01:26:27,541 --> 01:26:28,833 Frankenstein! 1777 01:26:28,916 --> 01:26:30,000 [all] Where? 1778 01:26:33,125 --> 01:26:35,958 [Mom cackling maniacally] 1779 01:26:37,875 --> 01:26:39,458 We fell for that twice in one night. 1780 01:26:39,541 --> 01:26:41,583 We gotta try that with the orderlies when we get back. 1781 01:26:41,666 --> 01:26:43,208 -Okay. -It's such a… [laughing] 1782 01:26:43,833 --> 01:26:44,666 Hubie! 1783 01:26:45,333 --> 01:26:47,500 The blood. It's going to my-- 1784 01:26:50,250 --> 01:26:52,125 -[police radios chattering] -[cutting] 1785 01:26:53,333 --> 01:26:54,833 Happy Halloween. 1786 01:26:55,833 --> 01:26:57,541 One thing I still don't get. 1787 01:26:57,625 --> 01:26:59,833 Why did his mom have to kill Peanut the pig? 1788 01:27:00,875 --> 01:27:04,000 That was me, actually. I had a case of the late-night munchies. 1789 01:27:04,458 --> 01:27:06,958 All right, we gotta get these guys back to the mental institution. 1790 01:27:07,041 --> 01:27:10,000 This has been a magical night in Salem, Massachusetts. 1791 01:27:10,083 --> 01:27:13,000 -Excuse me. May I say something? -[Tracy] Yes. Please, go ahead. 1792 01:27:13,083 --> 01:27:13,916 Hubie. 1793 01:27:14,000 --> 01:27:18,541 I just wanna say happy Halloween to everybody in Salem. 1794 01:27:19,458 --> 01:27:21,833 Also, happy Valentine's Day. 1795 01:27:22,875 --> 01:27:24,750 I'm talking to you, Violet Valentine. 1796 01:27:25,041 --> 01:27:25,958 [gasps] 1797 01:27:26,041 --> 01:27:26,875 Also… 1798 01:27:27,625 --> 01:27:30,083 I just broke up with my Canadian girlfriend. 1799 01:27:30,166 --> 01:27:31,458 So, I am available. 1800 01:27:31,541 --> 01:27:34,041 -Oh, my God. -Miss Valentine, this is for you. 1801 01:27:40,291 --> 01:27:42,041 Hubie, do be mine. 1802 01:27:42,833 --> 01:27:45,250 Mmm… 1803 01:27:45,333 --> 01:27:48,833 [both moaning] 1804 01:27:49,416 --> 01:27:50,541 [Hubie] Yummy. 1805 01:27:50,625 --> 01:27:52,333 Muah! Muah! 1806 01:27:52,416 --> 01:27:54,166 [both moaning] 1807 01:27:58,208 --> 01:28:00,458 Can you guys stop kissing and check out our costumes? 1808 01:28:00,541 --> 01:28:01,833 Yes, of course. Come on. 1809 01:28:01,916 --> 01:28:05,833 -Show us what you've got. -Please. Let's see it. Oh, my God. 1810 01:28:05,916 --> 01:28:09,000 Oh, well, look at this. I cannot believe we have this. 1811 01:28:09,541 --> 01:28:12,791 Father Dave. My childhood friend, Richie Hartman. 1812 01:28:12,875 --> 01:28:14,375 -Is that Officer Steve? -[Violet] Yeah. 1813 01:28:14,458 --> 01:28:16,916 And the one and only Mr. Walter Lambert. 1814 01:28:17,000 --> 01:28:19,333 [kids howling] 1815 01:28:19,416 --> 01:28:20,541 [Hubie] How did you do this? 1816 01:28:20,625 --> 01:28:21,916 [Steve] Oh! 1817 01:28:22,000 --> 01:28:25,083 Terrific costumes, guys. Especially yours, Cooky. 1818 01:28:25,166 --> 01:28:27,458 I like it. What are you? A Muppet, right? 1819 01:28:27,541 --> 01:28:28,791 Yeah, sure. 1820 01:28:29,375 --> 01:28:33,625 -Our kids are so creative. -They are amazing. Mmm! 1821 01:28:33,708 --> 01:28:35,458 You never kissed me like that, Violet. 1822 01:28:36,125 --> 01:28:36,958 I know. 1823 01:28:37,041 --> 01:28:39,708 -Yeah, well… -Dad, don't forget your sash. 1824 01:28:39,791 --> 01:28:41,958 Okay, yes. Would you put it on me, please? That's right. 1825 01:28:42,041 --> 01:28:44,166 Thank you, Danielle and everybody. 1826 01:28:44,250 --> 01:28:47,250 I'll see you at the apple-bobbing contest at ten o'clock tonight. 1827 01:28:47,333 --> 01:28:50,416 Oh, and you two. You guys are gonna be hittin' the parties later, 1828 01:28:50,500 --> 01:28:52,416 -so I made these for you. -[clicks] 1829 01:28:52,500 --> 01:28:55,375 That's some matzo ball soup, also with a flare gun. 1830 01:28:56,166 --> 01:28:57,000 Uh… 1831 01:28:59,708 --> 01:29:01,541 -[glass shattering] -[cat howls] 1832 01:29:03,458 --> 01:29:05,125 You suck! 1833 01:29:05,875 --> 01:29:07,166 Sorry about that! 1834 01:29:08,625 --> 01:29:10,125 -Thanks, Dad. -Yeah, of course. 1835 01:29:10,208 --> 01:29:12,916 And this is chicken gumbo with a hair dryer. 1836 01:29:13,833 --> 01:29:16,666 [air blowing] 1837 01:29:16,750 --> 01:29:19,208 [sighs] Wow, that is badass. 1838 01:29:20,000 --> 01:29:21,750 All right, guys. Take care. I'll miss you. 1839 01:29:21,833 --> 01:29:24,833 -Mr. Mayor Dubois, let's get you downtown. -[car starts] 1840 01:29:24,916 --> 01:29:26,541 -Bye! -Love you, Daddy! 1841 01:29:26,625 --> 01:29:29,125 Bye! We love you. We'll see you later! 1842 01:29:29,208 --> 01:29:31,250 [Hubie] Bye, guys! Bye-bye! 1843 01:29:37,583 --> 01:29:38,500 Hey, Hubie! 1844 01:29:39,291 --> 01:29:40,208 You're the man! 1845 01:29:40,291 --> 01:29:43,500 Thanks. I learned it all from my mother, who's right behind you. 1846 01:29:43,583 --> 01:29:45,666 -[all gasp] -Got you, O'Doyle! 1847 01:29:45,750 --> 01:29:47,583 -[kids laugh] -Happy Halloween! 1848 01:29:48,291 --> 01:29:51,791 Happy Halloween to all! And to all, a good fright! 1849 01:29:52,291 --> 01:29:55,166 [Aurora in high-pitched voice] And so, another Halloween has come to Salem. 1850 01:29:55,250 --> 01:29:57,541 So, you best take the advice of our beloved Mayor 1851 01:29:57,625 --> 01:30:02,083 and frequent caller, Hubie Dubois. And have a safe and fun time. 1852 01:30:02,166 --> 01:30:03,833 [Aurora's wife in deep voice] Hang on, baby. 1853 01:30:03,916 --> 01:30:05,833 Got some spaghetti and meatballs for ya. 1854 01:30:05,916 --> 01:30:08,375 [Aurora in deep voice] Okay. Let's Lady and the Tramp that shit. 1855 01:30:08,458 --> 01:30:12,041 [slurping, moaning] 1856 01:30:12,125 --> 01:30:14,041 ♪ I was working in the lab Late one night… ♪ 1857 01:30:14,125 --> 01:30:16,250 -[skeleton cackling] -[screaming] 1858 01:30:16,333 --> 01:30:18,250 ♪ When my eyes beheld an eerie sight… ♪ 1859 01:30:18,958 --> 01:30:20,125 Murder! 1860 01:30:20,500 --> 01:30:22,458 ♪ Began to rise ♪ 1861 01:30:22,541 --> 01:30:24,916 -♪ And suddenly to my surprise… ♪ -[laughing] 1862 01:30:25,000 --> 01:30:26,916 [screaming] 1863 01:30:27,000 --> 01:30:28,541 ♪ He did the monster mash ♪ 1864 01:30:28,625 --> 01:30:29,708 ♪ The monster mash ♪ 1865 01:30:30,375 --> 01:30:32,125 ♪ It was a graveyard smash… ♪ 1866 01:30:32,208 --> 01:30:34,583 [screaming] What are we screaming at? 1867 01:30:35,666 --> 01:30:37,375 -♪ He did the mash… ♪ -[laughing] 1868 01:30:37,458 --> 01:30:38,708 Last one. Sorry. 1869 01:30:39,083 --> 01:30:41,875 -♪ From my laboratory… ♪ -[screaming] 1870 01:30:41,958 --> 01:30:42,791 What are you? 1871 01:30:42,875 --> 01:30:45,791 ♪ To the master bedroom Where the vampires feast… ♪ 1872 01:30:45,875 --> 01:30:49,541 [screaming] 1873 01:30:49,625 --> 01:30:52,416 ♪ To get a jolt From my electrodes… ♪ 1874 01:30:52,500 --> 01:30:54,583 [screaming] Who are you? 1875 01:30:54,666 --> 01:30:57,041 -♪ They did the monster mash ♪ -♪ The monster mash… ♪ 1876 01:30:58,208 --> 01:31:01,791 -What are you? [screaming] -[clattering] 1877 01:31:01,875 --> 01:31:03,625 [shrieking] 1878 01:31:03,708 --> 01:31:04,625 [screaming] 1879 01:31:04,708 --> 01:31:06,458 ♪ They did the monster mash… ♪ 1880 01:31:08,250 --> 01:31:10,000 -Boo! -[screams] 1881 01:31:10,083 --> 01:31:13,166 [laughing maniacally] 1882 01:31:13,250 --> 01:31:15,375 ♪ The guests included… ♪ 1883 01:31:15,458 --> 01:31:18,166 [shrieking] Help me! 1884 01:31:19,458 --> 01:31:22,291 When I was a kid, I used to build a tower with all my candy. 1885 01:31:22,375 --> 01:31:25,458 And all the candy I used before the collapsing of-- 1886 01:31:25,541 --> 01:31:26,875 [laughing] 1887 01:31:26,958 --> 01:31:28,000 [kids screaming] 1888 01:31:28,083 --> 01:31:30,125 [muttering] 1889 01:31:30,208 --> 01:31:31,291 Help me! 1890 01:31:33,083 --> 01:31:34,958 Now you're all in big, big trouble. 1891 01:31:35,500 --> 01:31:37,000 [grunts] Oh, sorry! 1892 01:31:37,083 --> 01:31:38,166 [all laughing] 1893 01:31:38,250 --> 01:31:40,166 That's you in a nutshell, Hubie. 1894 01:31:40,250 --> 01:31:41,250 ♪ They did the mash ♪ 1895 01:31:41,750 --> 01:31:43,208 ♪ They played the monster mash… ♪ 1896 01:31:43,291 --> 01:31:44,958 [all laughing] 1897 01:31:45,500 --> 01:31:47,791 ♪ It was a graveyard smash… ♪ 1898 01:31:47,875 --> 01:31:50,500 Here's some Happy Halloween word searches I printed out. 1899 01:31:50,583 --> 01:31:51,750 ♪ They played the mash ♪ 1900 01:31:52,083 --> 01:31:53,375 ♪ They played the monster mash… ♪ 1901 01:31:53,458 --> 01:31:55,875 [both laughing] 1902 01:31:59,208 --> 01:32:01,458 That-- that was-- that was-- Ah-- [bleep] 1903 01:32:01,541 --> 01:32:02,416 Ah-- [bleep] 1904 01:32:02,500 --> 01:32:04,291 -[stammering] -[bleep] 1905 01:32:04,375 --> 01:32:05,291 [laughs] 1906 01:32:05,375 --> 01:32:06,375 No! 1907 01:32:06,458 --> 01:32:08,291 [Ray laughing] 1908 01:32:09,625 --> 01:32:12,666 [all howling] 1909 01:32:12,750 --> 01:32:14,125 [Rob] That's a good roommate. 1910 01:32:14,208 --> 01:32:16,000 [laughing] 1911 01:32:17,500 --> 01:32:18,916 [June] Hubie Dubois! 1912 01:32:20,375 --> 01:32:25,041 -This is Hubie Dubois. -Hubie, I'm standing right behind you. 1913 01:32:25,500 --> 01:32:26,833 [Adam screaming] 1914 01:32:26,916 --> 01:32:28,208 ♪ It's Halloween… ♪ 1915 01:32:28,291 --> 01:32:30,208 [laughing] 1916 01:32:30,291 --> 01:32:34,625 [both moaning] 1917 01:32:36,208 --> 01:32:38,333 [all laughing] 1918 01:32:38,416 --> 01:32:39,416 Yes! 1919 01:32:40,750 --> 01:32:42,166 [man] And… action! 1920 01:32:42,250 --> 01:32:43,250 Freeze, Mrs. Dubois! 1921 01:32:43,875 --> 01:32:45,291 Hold your fire until my command. 1922 01:32:45,375 --> 01:32:46,708 -Shut up! -Shut it! 1923 01:32:46,791 --> 01:32:48,083 [yelps] 1924 01:32:48,166 --> 01:32:50,208 [all laughing] 1925 01:32:50,291 --> 01:32:52,333 ♪ Happy Halloween Happy Halloween… ♪ 1926 01:32:52,416 --> 01:32:53,625 [man] Whoo-hoo! 1927 01:32:53,708 --> 01:32:56,000 ♪ Happy Halloween Happy Halloween… ♪ 1928 01:32:56,083 --> 01:32:57,791 [Maya] What the hell are you doing? 1929 01:32:57,875 --> 01:32:59,708 [moaning, laughing] 1930 01:32:59,791 --> 01:33:00,875 Did that turn you on? 1931 01:33:00,958 --> 01:33:02,875 What is it supposed to be? Little penises? 1932 01:33:02,958 --> 01:33:05,958 [all laughing] 1933 01:33:06,041 --> 01:33:09,875 [speaking gibberish] 1934 01:33:09,958 --> 01:33:11,625 [all laughing] 1935 01:33:11,708 --> 01:33:14,291 -[man] Okay. -♪ Trick, trick or treat… ♪ 1936 01:33:14,375 --> 01:33:17,750 -Boo! -[man screaming] 1937 01:33:17,833 --> 01:33:20,125 Smell my feet. 1938 01:33:20,208 --> 01:33:21,041 Smell-- 1939 01:33:21,125 --> 01:33:22,000 [stammers] 1940 01:33:22,083 --> 01:33:22,916 Smell-- 1941 01:33:23,000 --> 01:33:24,125 Shmell... 1942 01:33:24,208 --> 01:33:25,583 -Smell my feet. -Really? 1943 01:33:25,666 --> 01:33:26,708 Smell my feet. 1944 01:33:26,791 --> 01:33:27,625 [laughing] 1945 01:33:27,708 --> 01:33:29,500 [screaming] 1946 01:33:30,500 --> 01:33:33,250 ♪ My eyes bulge out in horror… ♪ 1947 01:33:33,333 --> 01:33:35,708 Oh, whoa. Ho ho! 1948 01:33:36,041 --> 01:33:38,041 [both chattering] 1949 01:33:39,875 --> 01:33:42,958 Yeah. No, it was fun throwing hot dogs at him. 1950 01:33:43,708 --> 01:33:44,750 Pubie! 1951 01:33:47,916 --> 01:33:49,875 -We gonna eat Peanut tonight. -[horse neighs] 1952 01:33:49,958 --> 01:33:52,416 -He was my-- -You be quiet, too. You next. 1953 01:33:53,000 --> 01:33:56,291 ♪ Trippy Halloween Trippy, every one of us ♪ 1954 01:33:57,041 --> 01:33:58,625 -Oh, dope. -[all laughing] 1955 01:34:00,833 --> 01:34:03,791 ♪ Trippy Halloween Trippy, every one of us ♪ 1956 01:34:03,875 --> 01:34:05,375 [man] And… action! 1957 01:34:05,458 --> 01:34:07,500 [screaming] 1958 01:34:07,583 --> 01:34:10,458 No! No! No! No! 1959 01:34:10,541 --> 01:34:11,625 [Julie] Hubie! 1960 01:34:12,041 --> 01:34:13,125 ♪ Trick… ♪ 1961 01:34:13,208 --> 01:34:15,708 [Adam] Not cool! Not cool! Not cool! 1962 01:34:15,791 --> 01:34:18,000 -♪ Trick, trick or treat ♪ -[Adam grunts] 1963 01:34:33,875 --> 01:34:35,416 ♪ Freaky, freaky, freaky ♪ 1964 01:34:39,666 --> 01:34:41,041 ♪ Freaky, freaky, freaky ♪ 1965 01:34:43,125 --> 01:34:45,208 ♪ If you want to get spooky ♪ 1966 01:34:45,291 --> 01:34:47,125 ♪ Go ahead and get spooky ♪ 1967 01:34:48,875 --> 01:34:50,708 ♪ If you want to eat candy ♪ 1968 01:34:50,958 --> 01:34:52,625 ♪ Eat candy for free ♪ 1969 01:34:54,458 --> 01:34:56,791 ♪ If a vampire gives you a bite ♪ 1970 01:34:57,500 --> 01:34:59,416 ♪ You'll stay up the rest of the night ♪ 1971 01:35:00,000 --> 01:35:02,000 ♪ And if you want to get freaky ♪ 1972 01:35:02,250 --> 01:35:03,541 ♪ Get freaky with me ♪ 1973 01:35:05,083 --> 01:35:06,416 ♪ Freaky, freaky, freaky ♪ 1974 01:35:07,916 --> 01:35:09,208 ♪ Get freaky with me ♪ 1975 01:35:10,708 --> 01:35:12,041 ♪ Freaky, freaky, freaky ♪ 1976 01:35:14,375 --> 01:35:16,500 ♪ If you want to make moves on a girl ♪ 1977 01:35:16,583 --> 01:35:18,000 ♪ Make moves on a girl ♪ 1978 01:35:20,083 --> 01:35:22,125 ♪ If you want to moves on the boys ♪ 1979 01:35:22,208 --> 01:35:23,541 ♪ I won't make a fuss ♪ 1980 01:35:25,416 --> 01:35:27,708 ♪ If the electric chair Gives you a spark ♪ 1981 01:35:28,333 --> 01:35:30,458 ♪ Then you won't be afraid of the dark ♪ 1982 01:35:31,166 --> 01:35:32,958 ♪ And if you want to get freaky ♪ 1983 01:35:33,333 --> 01:35:34,666 ♪ Get freaky with us ♪ 1984 01:35:36,125 --> 01:35:37,458 ♪ Freaky, freaky, freaky ♪ 1985 01:35:39,000 --> 01:35:40,416 ♪ Get freaky with us ♪ 1986 01:35:41,750 --> 01:35:43,500 ♪ Freaky, freaky, freaky ♪ 1987 01:35:45,708 --> 01:35:51,041 ♪ Run and hide But we'll still find you ♪ 1988 01:35:51,125 --> 01:35:53,791 ♪ 'Cause something freaky ♪ 1989 01:35:53,875 --> 01:35:56,791 ♪ Is right behind you ♪ 1990 01:35:58,708 --> 01:36:00,166 ♪ Freaky, freaky, freaky ♪ 1991 01:36:04,375 --> 01:36:05,833 ♪ Freaky, freaky, freaky ♪ 1992 01:36:07,958 --> 01:36:10,250 ♪ When the stairs in your house Are creaky ♪ 1993 01:36:10,333 --> 01:36:11,916 ♪ That's pretty freaky ♪ 1994 01:36:13,541 --> 01:36:15,958 ♪ When the killer behind you is sneaky ♪ 1995 01:36:16,041 --> 01:36:17,708 ♪ That's pretty freaky ♪ 1996 01:36:19,208 --> 01:36:21,625 ♪ When the banshees at night Are shrieky ♪ 1997 01:36:21,708 --> 01:36:23,208 ♪ That's kinda freaky ♪ 1998 01:36:24,833 --> 01:36:27,375 ♪ When the rats on your face are squeaky ♪ 1999 01:36:28,000 --> 01:36:29,708 ♪ That's very freaky ♪ 2000 01:36:29,791 --> 01:36:31,041 ♪ Get freaky with me ♪ 2001 01:36:32,541 --> 01:36:33,916 ♪ Freaky, freaky, freaky ♪ 2002 01:36:35,458 --> 01:36:36,791 ♪ Get freaky with me ♪ 2003 01:36:38,166 --> 01:36:39,583 ♪ Freaky, freaky, freaky ♪ 2004 01:36:41,083 --> 01:36:42,458 ♪ Get freaky with me ♪ 2005 01:36:43,916 --> 01:36:45,333 ♪ Freaky, freaky, freaky ♪ 2006 01:36:46,750 --> 01:36:48,041 ♪ Get freaky with me ♪ 2007 01:36:48,125 --> 01:36:50,583 [crowd cheering] 2008 01:36:50,666 --> 01:36:52,500 ["Dancing with the Devil" playing] 2009 01:36:52,583 --> 01:36:53,708 ♪ Dance ♪ 2010 01:37:00,208 --> 01:37:03,833 ♪ Ghosts and goblins Very scary ♪ 2011 01:37:07,166 --> 01:37:10,583 ♪ Wolfman's back is very hairy ♪ 2012 01:37:13,750 --> 01:37:17,166 ♪ But whatcha gonna do ♪ 2013 01:37:17,791 --> 01:37:20,458 ♪ When the Devil comes for you? ♪ 2014 01:37:20,541 --> 01:37:21,583 ♪ The Devil ♪ 2015 01:37:22,500 --> 01:37:23,458 ♪ Devil ♪ 2016 01:37:24,208 --> 01:37:25,166 ♪ Devil ♪ 2017 01:37:25,875 --> 01:37:28,375 ♪ Dancing with the Devil ♪ 2018 01:37:29,375 --> 01:37:30,333 ♪ Devil ♪ 2019 01:37:31,041 --> 01:37:32,041 ♪ Devil ♪ 2020 01:37:32,750 --> 01:37:37,500 ♪ Dancing with the Devil… ♪ 2021 01:37:38,041 --> 01:37:41,125 [crowd cheering] 2022 01:37:41,208 --> 01:37:45,333 ♪ Sexy witches Ancient mummies ♪ 2023 01:37:48,250 --> 01:37:52,125 ♪ Poison candy in your tummies ♪ 2024 01:37:54,875 --> 01:37:57,958 ♪ But what you gonna say ♪ 2025 01:37:58,916 --> 01:38:01,708 ♪ When the Devil comes your way? ♪ 2026 01:38:01,791 --> 01:38:02,791 ♪ The Devil ♪ 2027 01:38:03,666 --> 01:38:04,541 ♪ Devil ♪ 2028 01:38:05,375 --> 01:38:06,208 ♪ Devil ♪ 2029 01:38:07,041 --> 01:38:09,458 ♪ Dancing with the Devil ♪ 2030 01:38:10,541 --> 01:38:11,416 ♪ Devil ♪ 2031 01:38:12,250 --> 01:38:13,083 ♪ Devil ♪ 2032 01:38:13,916 --> 01:38:18,666 ♪ Dancing with the Devil… ♪ 2033 01:38:18,750 --> 01:38:20,750 [crowd cheering] 2034 01:38:22,541 --> 01:38:24,083 ♪ Do you believe in God? ♪ 2035 01:38:25,875 --> 01:38:27,500 ♪ Do you believe in the Devil? ♪ 2036 01:38:29,375 --> 01:38:30,625 ♪ Will you dance tonight ♪ 2037 01:38:31,333 --> 01:38:32,625 ♪ In the kingdom of Heaven? ♪ 2038 01:38:32,958 --> 01:38:36,083 ♪ Or will you dance in the kingdom of Hell? ♪ 2039 01:38:36,166 --> 01:38:38,416 ♪ Ah ♪ 2040 01:38:39,708 --> 01:38:42,041 ♪ Ah ♪ 2041 01:38:43,083 --> 01:38:45,458 ♪ Ah ♪ 2042 01:38:46,500 --> 01:38:48,958 ♪ Ah ♪ 2043 01:38:49,958 --> 01:38:52,333 ♪ Ah ♪ 2044 01:38:53,333 --> 01:38:55,833 ♪ Ah ♪ 2045 01:38:56,791 --> 01:38:59,125 ♪ Ah ♪ 2046 01:39:00,250 --> 01:39:02,583 ♪ Ah ♪ 2047 01:39:03,666 --> 01:39:04,541 ♪ Devil ♪ 2048 01:39:05,333 --> 01:39:06,208 ♪ Devil ♪ 2049 01:39:07,083 --> 01:39:08,041 ♪ Devil ♪ 2050 01:39:08,750 --> 01:39:11,208 ♪ Dancing with the Devil ♪ 2051 01:39:12,166 --> 01:39:13,041 ♪ Devil ♪ 2052 01:39:13,833 --> 01:39:14,708 ♪ Devil ♪ 2053 01:39:15,583 --> 01:39:18,083 ♪ Dancing with the Devil ♪ 2054 01:39:19,083 --> 01:39:19,958 ♪ Devil ♪ 2055 01:39:20,750 --> 01:39:21,625 ♪ Devil ♪ 2056 01:39:22,500 --> 01:39:25,000 ♪ Dancing with the Devil ♪ 2057 01:39:25,958 --> 01:39:26,833 ♪ Devil ♪ 2058 01:39:27,625 --> 01:39:28,500 ♪ Devil ♪ 2059 01:39:29,375 --> 01:39:31,791 ♪ Dancing with the Devil ♪ 2060 01:39:32,458 --> 01:39:35,125 [crowd cheering]