1
00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:10,135
[upbeat pop music playing]
2
00:00:12,595 --> 00:00:13,763
- [music fades]
- [door opens]
3
00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:14,847
[exhales] Hey.
4
00:00:15,265 --> 00:00:16,182
Sorry I'm late.
5
00:00:16,266 --> 00:00:18,643
I was out knocking on doors
trying to get a new listing.
6
00:00:18,727 --> 00:00:20,061
How'd it go this time?
7
00:00:20,145 --> 00:00:22,814
[sighs] It's Florida, honey.
It was three men in their underwear,
8
00:00:22,897 --> 00:00:25,400
six pit bulls,
and one old lady smoking a pipe.
9
00:00:25,483 --> 00:00:26,526
Oh, you met Martha!
10
00:00:26,609 --> 00:00:27,986
[audience laughs]
11
00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:30,196
Wait, why do you have so much luggage?
12
00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:31,489
It's a one-night cruise.
13
00:00:31,573 --> 00:00:33,533
It's a one-night WWE cruise.
14
00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:37,579
That means I need to pack my boots,
my singlets, and my championship belts.
15
00:00:37,662 --> 00:00:39,205
Do you really need all those belts?
16
00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:40,707
You wouldn't ask that to a woman.
17
00:00:40,790 --> 00:00:42,208
I would if she was packing
18
00:00:42,292 --> 00:00:44,169
40 pounds of costume jewelry.
19
00:00:44,252 --> 00:00:47,422
- [audience laughs]
- Fine, I'll leave one behind.
20
00:00:50,592 --> 00:00:52,135
[exhales] You are so beautiful.
21
00:00:52,218 --> 00:00:53,418
You talking to me or the belt?
22
00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:54,888
You.
23
00:00:54,971 --> 00:00:55,972
[audience laughs]
24
00:00:56,765 --> 00:00:58,933
Okay, so, I was thinking,
25
00:00:59,017 --> 00:01:01,436
with the new company,
I have so much work to do
26
00:01:01,519 --> 00:01:02,812
that maybe you should go alone.
27
00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:04,022
[sing-songy] No way, Cassy.
28
00:01:04,105 --> 00:01:06,441
- [sing-songy] It's our anniversary!
- [audience laughs]
29
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:08,260
How long you been workin' on that?
30
00:01:08,318 --> 00:01:10,129
- I don't know, couple days.
- [audience laughs]
31
00:01:10,153 --> 00:01:12,238
Look, I am so busy trying to sell
a haunted house,
32
00:01:12,322 --> 00:01:14,324
and you have this cruise to do for work.
33
00:01:14,532 --> 00:01:16,242
It's okay if we miss one anniversary.
34
00:01:16,326 --> 00:01:17,327
What? No!
35
00:01:17,410 --> 00:01:18,912
I wanna do this for you,
36
00:01:18,995 --> 00:01:20,538
I wanna make this special for us.
37
00:01:20,622 --> 00:01:21,623
Besides, it combines
38
00:01:21,706 --> 00:01:22,874
two of my favorite things.
39
00:01:22,957 --> 00:01:24,117
What, skateboards and horses?
40
00:01:24,167 --> 00:01:26,461
- [audience laughs]
- Nope, [sighs] WWE and anniversaries.
41
00:01:26,544 --> 00:01:29,305
Won't you be working and hanging out
with your buddies the whole time?
42
00:01:29,339 --> 00:01:30,339
No, we can do both.
43
00:01:30,381 --> 00:01:32,701
All I gotta do is sign some autographs,
take some pictures,
44
00:01:32,759 --> 00:01:34,219
and choke-slam a few Russian VIPs.
45
00:01:34,302 --> 00:01:35,136
[audience laughs]
46
00:01:35,220 --> 00:01:36,471
But after that,
47
00:01:36,638 --> 00:01:39,432
♪ It's just you and me ♪
48
00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:43,728
♪ Celebrating on the open sea ♪
49
00:01:43,812 --> 00:01:45,212
- [audience laughs]
- [Cassy kisses]
50
00:01:48,316 --> 00:01:50,156
- [together] Happy anniversary!
- [poppers pop]
51
00:01:50,235 --> 00:01:51,069
[air horn blares]
52
00:01:51,152 --> 00:01:52,320
[audience laughs]
53
00:01:55,490 --> 00:01:56,491
Honey...
54
00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:59,160
just try to remember
why you fell in love with me
55
00:01:59,244 --> 00:02:00,370
so many doors ago.
56
00:02:00,453 --> 00:02:01,579
[audience laughs]
57
00:02:02,413 --> 00:02:03,413
[bells ding]
58
00:02:04,249 --> 00:02:06,251
[upbeat pop opening credit playing]
59
00:02:09,629 --> 00:02:11,965
- [music fades]
- So, what's Mom doing for the anniversary?
60
00:02:12,048 --> 00:02:13,675
She always blows it out.
61
00:02:13,758 --> 00:02:16,219
This year,
I'll be doing the blowing outing.
62
00:02:16,302 --> 00:02:17,822
- [audience laughs]
- Finally, my chance
63
00:02:17,846 --> 00:02:19,597
to plan something special.
64
00:02:20,181 --> 00:02:21,558
It's payback time.
65
00:02:21,933 --> 00:02:22,933
This time...
66
00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:24,393
it's emotion.
67
00:02:24,602 --> 00:02:25,895
[audience laughs]
68
00:02:26,354 --> 00:02:27,397
Yeah, I don't know.
69
00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:31,025
We overheard your conversation,
and I don't think Mom's into this cruise.
70
00:02:31,109 --> 00:02:33,862
Please, your mom's famous
for saying she doesn't wanna do something
71
00:02:33,945 --> 00:02:35,071
when she really does.
72
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:37,198
And if I don't plan something,
I'll hear about it.
73
00:02:37,740 --> 00:02:41,244
Agreed. Remember when she said
she didn't want to go see U2?
74
00:02:41,411 --> 00:02:44,164
[chuckling] Oh, my God, yes.
That was not a beautiful day.
75
00:02:44,247 --> 00:02:45,290
- [audience laughs]
- Oh.
76
00:02:45,665 --> 00:02:48,543
"Beautiful Day"?
I would've loved to have heard that live.
77
00:02:48,626 --> 00:02:49,669
[audience laughs]
78
00:02:50,253 --> 00:02:51,087
[Cassy] So,
79
00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:53,006
this cruise is actually happening.
80
00:02:53,089 --> 00:02:55,129
Lola, are you sure you're good
to babysit the girls?
81
00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:56,384
Yeah, it's one night.
82
00:02:56,467 --> 00:02:58,469
I used to babysit all the time
back in Minnesota.
83
00:02:58,553 --> 00:02:59,387
I got this.
84
00:02:59,470 --> 00:03:00,388
Oh. Okay.
85
00:03:00,471 --> 00:03:02,473
[Cassy] Hmm. You got this, do you?
86
00:03:03,349 --> 00:03:04,767
- What time is bedtime?
- 8:45.
87
00:03:04,851 --> 00:03:06,811
- Teeth brushing?
- Minimum of two minutes.
88
00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:08,747
- JJ's choking on a hard candy?
- Trick question.
89
00:03:08,771 --> 00:03:10,648
JJ has nine lives, she can't be killed.
90
00:03:11,065 --> 00:03:12,233
[audience laughs]
91
00:03:12,317 --> 00:03:13,401
It's a dystopian future,
92
00:03:13,484 --> 00:03:15,713
and you're in a fight to the death
with other teenagers...
93
00:03:15,737 --> 00:03:17,238
Dad, that's the Hunger Games.
94
00:03:17,322 --> 00:03:18,531
- Answer the question.
- Fine.
95
00:03:18,615 --> 00:03:21,510
I'd take the girls into the Everglades,
we'd teach each other to bow hunt,
96
00:03:21,534 --> 00:03:23,414
and take out our enemies
one district at a time.
97
00:03:23,494 --> 00:03:24,774
- She's good.
- [audience laughs]
98
00:03:26,706 --> 00:03:28,208
[upbeat music plays, then fades]
99
00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:32,003
This is some GDQST.
100
00:03:32,086 --> 00:03:34,631
- What's that?
- Gosh darn quality sister time.
101
00:03:34,714 --> 00:03:35,548
Doy.
102
00:03:35,632 --> 00:03:36,632
[audience laughs]
103
00:03:36,966 --> 00:03:38,885
It's just so relaxing without the Ps
104
00:03:38,968 --> 00:03:40,487
- up in our biznass.
- [audience laughs]
105
00:03:40,511 --> 00:03:42,639
- You ain't wrong.
- No, she ain't.
106
00:03:42,722 --> 00:03:43,722
[phone chimes]
107
00:03:44,933 --> 00:03:47,602
Aw... Taylor sent me a virtual bouquet.
108
00:03:47,685 --> 00:03:49,020
For his beau, get it?
109
00:03:49,103 --> 00:03:51,481
[scoffs] Wake me up
when he puts a ring on it.
110
00:03:51,564 --> 00:03:53,584
- [audience laughs]
- So, are you, like, dating now?
111
00:03:53,608 --> 00:03:54,984
Off the record, yes.
112
00:03:55,193 --> 00:03:57,195
On the record, also yes.
113
00:03:57,278 --> 00:03:59,447
But if anyone found out,
people would freak.
114
00:03:59,530 --> 00:04:01,616
My campaign is about transparency.
115
00:04:01,699 --> 00:04:04,285
I've already released five years
of report cards.
116
00:04:04,369 --> 00:04:06,579
- [audience laughs]
- So? Those are easy to fake.
117
00:04:06,788 --> 00:04:09,582
You want a report card?
I could get you one by three o'clock.
118
00:04:09,666 --> 00:04:10,666
[audience laughs]
119
00:04:11,125 --> 00:04:13,378
And a German passport by two o'clock.
120
00:04:13,461 --> 00:04:14,545
[audience laughs]
121
00:04:15,004 --> 00:04:16,297
It doesn't matter, though.
122
00:04:16,381 --> 00:04:19,701
I'm probably going to lose this election,
'cause kids think I'm boring and not cool.
123
00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:23,346
If you wanna be cool,
you're going at this the wrong way.
124
00:04:23,429 --> 00:04:25,390
We have this whole house to ourselves.
125
00:04:25,473 --> 00:04:27,308
It's pretty obvious what we should do.
126
00:04:27,392 --> 00:04:29,727
Binge all 19 hours of Ken Burns Jazz?
127
00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:31,743
She can't even hear what she sounds like.
128
00:04:31,813 --> 00:04:32,933
- So sad.
- [audience laughs]
129
00:04:33,731 --> 00:04:35,900
Mandy, I want to throw you a party.
130
00:04:35,984 --> 00:04:37,902
No, no, I need to throw you a party.
131
00:04:37,986 --> 00:04:39,988
This is a classic big sister move.
132
00:04:40,154 --> 00:04:41,781
Let me introduce you to someone.
133
00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:45,201
Party-Lo.
134
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:47,495
[gasps] Par Ti Lo, the Chinese dissident?
135
00:04:47,578 --> 00:04:48,913
I've read all her books!
136
00:04:48,997 --> 00:04:51,332
- [audience laughs]
- Oh, my God, no. I'm Party-Lo.
137
00:04:51,416 --> 00:04:53,176
That's what they called me
back in Minnesota,
138
00:04:53,209 --> 00:04:54,460
'cause I threw so many parties.
139
00:04:54,544 --> 00:04:56,904
If you want to win this election,
you need to throw a rager.
140
00:04:57,547 --> 00:04:58,547
Okay, let's do it.
141
00:04:58,715 --> 00:05:00,300
But no drinking, it's illegal.
142
00:05:00,383 --> 00:05:02,885
I can't afford any scandals this late
in my campaign.
143
00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:04,154
- [audience laughs]
- Obviously!
144
00:05:04,178 --> 00:05:05,555
Party-Lo keeps it party-legal.
145
00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:07,974
We'll need food, refreshments, and...
146
00:05:08,057 --> 00:05:09,434
What are we gonna do about music?
147
00:05:09,517 --> 00:05:10,643
Leave that to me.
148
00:05:11,519 --> 00:05:13,646
- [whooshing]
- DJ PJ in the house!
149
00:05:13,730 --> 00:05:15,481
- [audience laughs]
- [records scratching]
150
00:05:15,565 --> 00:05:16,858
[dance music playing]
151
00:05:19,652 --> 00:05:20,652
[music fades]
152
00:05:21,446 --> 00:05:22,446
Wow!
153
00:05:22,488 --> 00:05:24,782
Welcome to the presidential suite.
154
00:05:24,866 --> 00:05:26,034
This is amazing!
155
00:05:26,492 --> 00:05:27,577
How did you get this?
156
00:05:27,660 --> 00:05:29,954
Come on, babe, I'm the Big Show.
I just asked.
157
00:05:30,705 --> 00:05:32,457
And paid 700 dollars plus tax.
158
00:05:32,540 --> 00:05:35,126
- [audience laughs]
- Oh, my God, you got rose petals!
159
00:05:35,209 --> 00:05:36,649
Yeah, fake, because you're allergic.
160
00:05:37,462 --> 00:05:39,756
I also got some
chocolate covered "strawbs,"
161
00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:42,300
the sexiest
of the chocolate covered fruit.
162
00:05:42,383 --> 00:05:43,676
- [giggles]
- This is gonna be
163
00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:44,927
the best anniversary ever.
164
00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:46,012
Better than eight?
165
00:05:46,095 --> 00:05:48,255
Girl, please.
This is gonna make eight look like three.
166
00:05:48,306 --> 00:05:49,706
- [audience laughs]
- [phone chimes]
167
00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:50,766
Oh!
168
00:05:51,267 --> 00:05:53,936
Oh, my gosh!
I got an offer on the haunted house!
169
00:05:54,228 --> 00:05:56,439
Okay, um... [chuckles]
I need to call the broker.
170
00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:58,858
[sighs] I can't get a signal.
171
00:05:58,941 --> 00:06:00,443
You know what?
I'll try the top deck.
172
00:06:00,526 --> 00:06:01,527
Oh... Okay,
173
00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:02,851
but you'll be back soon, right?
174
00:06:02,904 --> 00:06:04,624
- 'Cause I have a lot more surprises.
- Yes.
175
00:06:06,157 --> 00:06:07,718
- [Cassy gasps] Mark!
- [audience cheers]
176
00:06:07,742 --> 00:06:08,951
- Cassy!
- Hey!
177
00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:10,035
[Cassy chuckles]
178
00:06:10,078 --> 00:06:11,621
[continued cheering]
179
00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:13,498
You want me to crack your back?
180
00:06:13,581 --> 00:06:15,375
Still a weird way to greet people, Mark.
181
00:06:15,458 --> 00:06:16,959
- [audience laughs]
- You know what?
182
00:06:17,043 --> 00:06:19,295
I gotta make a call.
Keep the big guy company, will ya?
183
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:20,713
White Chocolate!
184
00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:21,964
Sexy Chocolate!
185
00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:23,257
[audience laughs]
186
00:06:25,134 --> 00:06:26,761
This room is sweet!
187
00:06:26,844 --> 00:06:28,596
Mine is like a broom closet.
188
00:06:28,679 --> 00:06:30,473
Nothing but mops and buckets.
189
00:06:30,556 --> 00:06:32,743
Buddy, I think they literally put you
in a broom closet.
190
00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:33,767
Oh, chocolate "strawbs"!
191
00:06:33,810 --> 00:06:35,603
Wait! That's for Cass. [chuckles]
192
00:06:36,604 --> 00:06:39,023
How do they get these to grow
with the chocolates on them?
193
00:06:39,107 --> 00:06:40,274
- [audience laughs]
- Wait,
194
00:06:40,525 --> 00:06:42,819
don't tell me. I love the mystery.
195
00:06:42,902 --> 00:06:44,462
- [audience laughs]
- [knocking at door]
196
00:06:46,656 --> 00:06:49,117
We're here to give you
the couple's massage. Wait.
197
00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:50,960
Are you the couple's massage
all by yourself?
198
00:06:51,035 --> 00:06:53,538
No, it's actually for me and my wife.
Can you come back later?
199
00:06:53,621 --> 00:06:54,621
It's now or never.
200
00:06:54,664 --> 00:06:55,748
We have a packed schedule,
201
00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:57,125
and you count as three grown men
202
00:06:57,208 --> 00:06:59,368
- and a strong dog all by yourself.
- [audience laughs]
203
00:06:59,710 --> 00:07:00,962
[chuckling] Thanks, I guess.
204
00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:04,632
Seems like a waste of a massage.
205
00:07:05,591 --> 00:07:07,635
Wish you had a friend staying
in a broom closet
206
00:07:07,718 --> 00:07:09,262
using three buckets for a bed.
207
00:07:09,345 --> 00:07:11,472
Fine, you can have the other massage,
208
00:07:11,556 --> 00:07:12,996
but you need to call the front desk.
209
00:07:13,057 --> 00:07:15,768
- I did. The buckets were the upgrade.
- [audience laughs]
210
00:07:15,852 --> 00:07:17,019
Come on in.
211
00:07:17,353 --> 00:07:18,729
[upbeat pop music playing]
212
00:07:20,481 --> 00:07:21,481
[music fades]
213
00:07:21,649 --> 00:07:23,025
Okay, I rigged the cameras.
214
00:07:23,568 --> 00:07:24,968
If Mom and Dad check the nanny cam,
215
00:07:25,027 --> 00:07:27,238
they'll just see a loop of us watching TV.
216
00:07:27,321 --> 00:07:28,948
JJ, you're going pretty hard
217
00:07:29,031 --> 00:07:30,751
on the candy.
You might wanna pace yourself.
218
00:07:30,825 --> 00:07:32,452
DJ PJ doesn't pace.
219
00:07:32,535 --> 00:07:35,246
She goes hard or she goes home,
and I'm already home.
220
00:07:35,371 --> 00:07:36,831
Okay, these are mine now.
221
00:07:36,914 --> 00:07:38,554
- [hip-hop music playing]
- [bag rustling]
222
00:07:39,250 --> 00:07:40,250
[audience laughs]
223
00:07:40,626 --> 00:07:42,712
Nobody is here but Kennedy and Olivia,
224
00:07:42,795 --> 00:07:45,506
and that kid with the tapeworm
who already ate all the cheese.
225
00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:47,750
- [audience laughs]
- Chill. This is how parties start.
226
00:07:48,009 --> 00:07:49,969
It starts with a few friends, and then...
227
00:07:50,428 --> 00:07:51,655
- [twinkling]
- [audience laughs]
228
00:07:51,679 --> 00:07:53,598
- [dance music playing]
- [indistinct chatter]
229
00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:55,933
That was amazing! How'd you do that?
230
00:07:56,601 --> 00:07:57,601
I'm Party-Lo.
231
00:07:57,643 --> 00:07:58,978
I'm texting Taylor not to come,
232
00:07:59,061 --> 00:08:01,022
'cause if people saw us together,
they'd know.
233
00:08:01,105 --> 00:08:04,025
Our chemistry's explosive,
like hydrogen and chlorine.
234
00:08:04,108 --> 00:08:05,586
- [audience laughs]
- Yeah, JJ's right,
235
00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:07,403
- you really can't hear it.
- [phone chimes]
236
00:08:07,945 --> 00:08:10,031
- [audience laughs]
- Great party, Mandy.
237
00:08:10,114 --> 00:08:13,367
Thanks! Of course, it pales in comparison
to the Boston Tea Party.
238
00:08:13,451 --> 00:08:16,579
Now that party put the "fun"
in "the fight for the fundamental rights."
239
00:08:16,662 --> 00:08:17,663
[audience laughs]
240
00:08:17,997 --> 00:08:19,415
- Wait, what?
- [audience laughs]
241
00:08:20,249 --> 00:08:21,334
That was painful.
242
00:08:21,417 --> 00:08:23,794
I'm sorry. I get nervous
in casual social situations,
243
00:08:23,878 --> 00:08:26,438
and when I get nervous, I talk history.
Who's your favorite pope?
244
00:08:26,464 --> 00:08:27,464
[audience laughs]
245
00:08:27,548 --> 00:08:28,591
Let's try this.
246
00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:31,552
Whenever you feel
like you're gonna say something lame,
247
00:08:31,636 --> 00:08:33,471
just shove some food in your mouth.
248
00:08:35,598 --> 00:08:36,974
Do you guys recycle?
249
00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:39,310
I wanna make sure this can
goes in the right spot.
250
00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:41,103
[audience laughs]
251
00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:43,731
I guess I can just throw this away
when I get home.
252
00:08:43,856 --> 00:08:46,776
- [audience laughs]
- See? Now you're cool.
253
00:08:46,859 --> 00:08:47,693
[muffled] Thank you.
254
00:08:47,777 --> 00:08:48,777
[audience laughs]
255
00:08:49,445 --> 00:08:50,821
[upbeat music plays, then fades]
256
00:08:51,948 --> 00:08:53,449
[serene music playing]
257
00:08:54,242 --> 00:08:56,118
- [audience laughs]
- Man, you are tight.
258
00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:57,662
It's like massaging a bridge.
259
00:08:57,745 --> 00:08:58,746
[audience laughs]
260
00:08:58,829 --> 00:09:01,791
I just had this whole romantic evening
planned for me and my wife,
261
00:09:01,874 --> 00:09:03,754
and so far,
I haven't been able to do any of it.
262
00:09:03,793 --> 00:09:04,669
Relax, man.
263
00:09:04,752 --> 00:09:06,921
We're on a boat
with a bunch of our friends,
264
00:09:07,004 --> 00:09:08,881
smelling like peach lotion,
265
00:09:08,965 --> 00:09:11,300
- [audience laughs]
- just like the old days.
266
00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:12,704
- [door beeps]
- [audience laughs]
267
00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:14,637
Wow.
268
00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:18,182
It's like two tranquilized rhinos
being transported for surgery.
269
00:09:18,266 --> 00:09:20,536
- [audience laughs]
- It's supposed to be a couple's massage
270
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:21,978
for you and me. You want to tag in?
271
00:09:22,061 --> 00:09:23,854
Come on, Cassy, tag me,
tag me, tag me.
272
00:09:23,938 --> 00:09:25,290
- [audience laughs]
- You know what?
273
00:09:25,314 --> 00:09:27,275
I just came to get my computer.
274
00:09:27,358 --> 00:09:30,736
Babe, I am about to sell
this haunted house.
275
00:09:30,820 --> 00:09:34,198
Man, posting on that Goth Dad subreddit
really paid off.
276
00:09:34,282 --> 00:09:36,134
- [audience laughs]
- Do you have to do this now?
277
00:09:36,158 --> 00:09:37,285
I still have more planned.
278
00:09:37,368 --> 00:09:40,329
I do, I'm sorry. [stammers]
I promise I'll be back soon.
279
00:09:41,539 --> 00:09:44,667
[exhales] Babe, that is so sweet!
280
00:09:45,042 --> 00:09:46,419
You got me a seafood tower?
281
00:09:46,544 --> 00:09:49,505
You know, shrimp just tastes better
with a little bit of altitude.
282
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:50,631
[audience laughs]
283
00:09:50,715 --> 00:09:52,466
- And horseradish.
- [audience laughs]
284
00:09:52,550 --> 00:09:53,759
I will be back for this.
285
00:09:55,052 --> 00:09:57,346
- Man, I think we're done with massages.
- Wait!
286
00:09:57,888 --> 00:09:59,765
This little lady gotta do my calves.
287
00:09:59,849 --> 00:10:00,849
They're sore.
288
00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:03,561
- [audience laughs]
- [upbeat music playing]
289
00:10:06,647 --> 00:10:07,648
[music fades]
290
00:10:09,358 --> 00:10:10,526
- [audience laughs]
- Ah!
291
00:10:10,860 --> 00:10:12,236
Man, let me have one shrimp.
292
00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:14,154
Okay. [sighs]
293
00:10:14,989 --> 00:10:16,699
- Ow!
- Changed my mind.
294
00:10:16,782 --> 00:10:18,659
- [audience laughs]
- [knocking at door]
295
00:10:21,162 --> 00:10:23,039
- [Mark] Hey!
- [Mike] Hey, Show!
296
00:10:23,122 --> 00:10:25,041
- [audience cheers]
- [Mike] What's up, buddy?
297
00:10:25,166 --> 00:10:27,209
Aw, you texted Rikishi and Mick
298
00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:29,211
and told 'em about the tower, didn't you?
299
00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:30,463
I had to!
300
00:10:30,546 --> 00:10:33,466
You know there's a clock ticking
on this fishy tower of goodness.
301
00:10:33,549 --> 00:10:34,549
[audience laughs]
302
00:10:34,592 --> 00:10:36,427
Come on, man.
We've been putting sleeper holds
303
00:10:36,510 --> 00:10:38,179
on a church group since 9 a.m.
304
00:10:38,262 --> 00:10:40,056
The reverend still hasn't woken up.
305
00:10:40,139 --> 00:10:41,575
- [Rikishi laughs]
- [audience laughs]
306
00:10:41,599 --> 00:10:44,101
We're hungry, man.
Let us have some of that sea beef.
307
00:10:44,518 --> 00:10:45,518
Okay, fine.
308
00:10:46,270 --> 00:10:47,313
You can have one shrimp.
309
00:10:47,396 --> 00:10:49,231
I'm gonna go FaceTime my daughters.
310
00:10:53,194 --> 00:10:54,028
One shrimp.
311
00:10:54,111 --> 00:10:55,111
[audience laughs]
312
00:10:57,531 --> 00:10:58,691
- To be clear,
- [door closes]
313
00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:00,805
he didn't say nothing about the crab.
314
00:11:00,868 --> 00:11:02,268
- [all laughing]
- [audience laughs]
315
00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:07,333
[crab leg crunching]
316
00:11:08,209 --> 00:11:09,293
Dang, Kish,
317
00:11:09,377 --> 00:11:11,337
at least take it outta the shell first.
318
00:11:11,420 --> 00:11:12,672
[audience laughs]
319
00:11:12,838 --> 00:11:14,090
[ship horn blows]
320
00:11:14,173 --> 00:11:16,717
- [dance music playing]
- Everybody say "Lo"!
321
00:11:16,801 --> 00:11:17,802
[all] Lo!
322
00:11:17,885 --> 00:11:19,845
Everybody say "Lola"!
323
00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:20,929
[all] Lola!
324
00:11:20,971 --> 00:11:21,847
Now scream!
325
00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:22,931
[all cheering]
326
00:11:23,724 --> 00:11:24,724
[audience laughs]
327
00:11:25,101 --> 00:11:27,436
Hey, it's Spillin' Tea with Monica B.
328
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:29,689
I'm here with the girl of the hour,
329
00:11:29,897 --> 00:11:31,023
Mandy Wight,
330
00:11:31,399 --> 00:11:32,316
the Mandazzler.
331
00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:34,294
- [audience laughs]
- Are you live streaming this?
332
00:11:34,318 --> 00:11:36,529
Currently over one thousand viewers.
333
00:11:36,737 --> 00:11:37,947
No bots or parents.
334
00:11:38,406 --> 00:11:41,283
So your stock is going way up
thanks to this killer party.
335
00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:43,327
A lot of people
are changing their vote to Mandy.
336
00:11:43,411 --> 00:11:44,620
Oh, really? That's great!
337
00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:46,831
And, you see,
I was just talking to Taylor...
338
00:11:46,914 --> 00:11:49,768
[stammers] Why were you talking to Taylor?
What's he got to do with this?
339
00:11:49,792 --> 00:11:50,626
Who even is Taylor?
340
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:52,628
I can't stop saying "Taylor"! Taylor!
341
00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:53,963
- [audience laughs]
- Ooh...
342
00:11:54,338 --> 00:11:55,798
Looks like I touched a nerve.
343
00:11:56,799 --> 00:11:58,342
I think it's Teatime!
344
00:11:59,510 --> 00:12:01,512
- Is there something you wanna tell me?
- Uh...
345
00:12:01,887 --> 00:12:02,722
Dad's Facetiming!
346
00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:04,056
Come on, we gotta get JJ.
347
00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:05,641
Uh, sorry!
348
00:12:06,642 --> 00:12:07,476
Okay,
349
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:08,394
it's my dad.
350
00:12:08,477 --> 00:12:10,146
Positions, everyone.
This is not a drill.
351
00:12:10,229 --> 00:12:11,998
- Move your butt, Jackson!
- [air horn blaring]
352
00:12:12,022 --> 00:12:13,382
- [audience laughs]
- [music fades]
353
00:12:17,695 --> 00:12:20,030
- [all sweetly] Hey, Dad!
- [audience laughs]
354
00:12:20,114 --> 00:12:21,824
Hey, girls! How's everything going?
355
00:12:21,907 --> 00:12:23,617
Good. So good.
356
00:12:23,701 --> 00:12:24,618
[audience laughs]
357
00:12:24,702 --> 00:12:26,579
I'm glad you girls are having fun.
358
00:12:27,872 --> 00:12:28,872
[Lola] So much fun.
359
00:12:29,165 --> 00:12:30,249
How's the cruise?
360
00:12:30,332 --> 00:12:32,042
Eh... Not so good.
361
00:12:32,126 --> 00:12:33,878
I've barely seen Cassy.
She's been so busy.
362
00:12:33,961 --> 00:12:37,006
Wow! Another one of your awesome stories.
363
00:12:37,131 --> 00:12:38,132
So many layers.
364
00:12:38,257 --> 00:12:40,737
- Gotta go. Love you, Dad. [playfully] Bye!
- [audience laughs]
365
00:12:41,135 --> 00:12:42,219
[kids cheering]
366
00:12:43,721 --> 00:12:45,055
This is amazing!
367
00:12:45,139 --> 00:12:46,140
I can't believe it.
368
00:12:46,223 --> 00:12:48,309
- [music resumes]
- Everything is going so perfectly.
369
00:12:48,392 --> 00:12:51,979
Reminds me of Summer 2018,
Lake Minnetonka.
370
00:12:52,146 --> 00:12:54,023
Party-Lo was on fire back then.
371
00:12:54,106 --> 00:12:55,858
Literally, I burned off an eyebrow.
372
00:12:55,941 --> 00:12:57,735
- [audience laughs]
- I miss those days.
373
00:12:57,818 --> 00:13:00,362
- [doorbell rings]
- Well, today has been great.
374
00:13:00,988 --> 00:13:02,490
[indistinct conversations]
375
00:13:02,573 --> 00:13:04,033
And it's all because of you.
376
00:13:05,326 --> 00:13:06,702
Hey, Mandy. How's it going?
377
00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:09,830
[audience laughs]
378
00:13:11,165 --> 00:13:12,165
[upbeat music playing]
379
00:13:14,877 --> 00:13:15,961
[music fades]
380
00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:19,632
What happened to the food?
381
00:13:19,715 --> 00:13:20,800
It happened so fast.
382
00:13:20,883 --> 00:13:23,093
It was like hyenas
attacking a water buffalo.
383
00:13:23,177 --> 00:13:26,055
- [audience laughs]
- We would be the hyenas in that example.
384
00:13:26,138 --> 00:13:27,181
Did the band show up?
385
00:13:27,264 --> 00:13:28,264
Yeah.
386
00:13:28,516 --> 00:13:31,268
They sang "I Want It That Way"
by the Backstreet Boys,
387
00:13:32,144 --> 00:13:34,438
and believe me,
it was the way I wanted it.
388
00:13:34,522 --> 00:13:37,002
- [audience laughs]
- Ah, man. That was a huge part of my plan.
389
00:13:37,066 --> 00:13:38,067
The day is ruined.
390
00:13:38,150 --> 00:13:40,402
Hey, you can speak for yourself.
391
00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:44,406
I got a gut full of prawns,
and my day is going great.
392
00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:46,802
- [audience laughs]
- Whoa. Every time I come back in here,
393
00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:48,953
there are more wrestlers in this room.
394
00:13:49,036 --> 00:13:51,372
You guys know there are other parts
to the boat, right?
395
00:13:51,455 --> 00:13:52,455
[audience laughs]
396
00:13:53,415 --> 00:13:56,001
I'll get rid of them,
but are you done with the house stuff yet?
397
00:13:56,085 --> 00:13:56,961
[sighs] Not yet.
398
00:13:57,044 --> 00:13:59,463
The Goth Dad who's buying it
wants me to change the address
399
00:13:59,547 --> 00:14:01,298
- to 666 Satan Way.
- [audience laughs]
400
00:14:01,382 --> 00:14:03,485
I mean, I have a call into the city,
but I don't know.
401
00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:06,149
You know I want you to sell this house,
but can you do it tomorrow?
402
00:14:06,178 --> 00:14:07,263
No, honey, I can't.
403
00:14:07,346 --> 00:14:09,473
I mean, I've been running all over
this stupid ship
404
00:14:09,557 --> 00:14:11,267
trying to find the one fax machine.
405
00:14:11,350 --> 00:14:12,434
I can't believe this.
406
00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:15,229
What? What are you so mad about?
407
00:14:15,604 --> 00:14:18,190
Well, you guys are in here eating seafood
and getting massages.
408
00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:19,525
You guys got massages?
409
00:14:19,608 --> 00:14:21,110
My shoulders are feeling like butter.
410
00:14:21,193 --> 00:14:23,004
- [audience laughs]
- The massages, the seafood,
411
00:14:23,028 --> 00:14:25,590
all the other stuff was for you,
but you've been too busy working.
412
00:14:25,614 --> 00:14:27,575
[stammers] What?
The only reason we are here
413
00:14:27,658 --> 00:14:29,994
is for your job,
which you don't even have anymore.
414
00:14:30,077 --> 00:14:31,620
Maybe this was a mistake.
415
00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:34,164
That is literally what I told you
before we left.
416
00:14:34,248 --> 00:14:36,166
[chuckles] You know,
I cannot do this right now.
417
00:14:37,418 --> 00:14:38,687
- [Big Show sighs]
- [door closes]
418
00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:41,088
Dang, man. She put some stank on that.
419
00:14:41,171 --> 00:14:43,066
- [audience laughs]
- If you wanna cry, it's cool.
420
00:14:43,090 --> 00:14:44,258
We won't judge you.
421
00:14:44,341 --> 00:14:45,610
- [audience laughs]
- I messed up.
422
00:14:45,634 --> 00:14:46,794
This whole thing is my fault.
423
00:14:47,136 --> 00:14:49,179
I just wanted our anniversary
to be awesome.
424
00:14:49,263 --> 00:14:53,100
Hold up, you... you brought your wife
on a work cruise on your anniversary?
425
00:14:53,183 --> 00:14:55,561
- [audience laughs]
- That's a terrible idea!
426
00:14:55,644 --> 00:14:57,187
You should've gone to Paris.
427
00:14:57,271 --> 00:14:59,607
The crepes are to die for.
428
00:14:59,690 --> 00:15:01,483
Brussels got some good crepes, too.
429
00:15:01,567 --> 00:15:04,153
- How am I gonna fix this?
- Easy, jump off the boat.
430
00:15:05,112 --> 00:15:06,822
If she jumps in after you, she loves you.
431
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:07,906
If not...
432
00:15:08,449 --> 00:15:09,283
it's over.
433
00:15:09,366 --> 00:15:11,286
- [audience laughs]
- Have you tried that before?
434
00:15:11,368 --> 00:15:12,286
Yes, I have.
435
00:15:12,369 --> 00:15:14,163
- And did it work?
- It did not.
436
00:15:14,246 --> 00:15:16,126
- [audience laughs]
- What else you got planned?
437
00:15:16,457 --> 00:15:18,959
[sighs] It doesn't matter.
Everything's ruined.
438
00:15:19,043 --> 00:15:20,336
The band was just the finale
439
00:15:20,419 --> 00:15:22,630
to our perfectly choreographed
romantic day.
440
00:15:22,713 --> 00:15:23,714
Listen, Show,
441
00:15:24,465 --> 00:15:27,509
we're professional wrestlers,
with over a hundred years
442
00:15:27,593 --> 00:15:30,512
of combined sports
entertainment experience.
443
00:15:30,596 --> 00:15:31,931
- We can fix this.
- Right.
444
00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:34,600
That just does not track, Mark.
445
00:15:35,309 --> 00:15:36,310
Like, not at all.
446
00:15:36,393 --> 00:15:37,478
[audience laughs]
447
00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:38,938
But I do have an idea.
448
00:15:41,148 --> 00:15:42,900
[upbeat music plays, then fades]
449
00:15:42,983 --> 00:15:45,277
What are you doing here?
I told you not to come.
450
00:15:45,361 --> 00:15:48,030
I know, but the people on my campaign
wanted to crash.
451
00:15:48,113 --> 00:15:49,593
Would've been weird if I didn't come.
452
00:15:50,074 --> 00:15:51,951
Plus, I wanted to see your pretty face.
453
00:15:52,034 --> 00:15:54,304
- [dance music playing softly]
- Aw, I missed you so much.
454
00:15:54,328 --> 00:15:55,889
- [yells] Now get out!
- [audience laughs]
455
00:15:55,913 --> 00:15:58,874
Yo, Tay-Tay,
this party has plastic straws.
456
00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:00,501
So much for Mandy's quote-unquote
457
00:16:00,584 --> 00:16:01,710
"green initiative."
458
00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:05,714
Um... I'd like to inform you,
these straws are made out of corn.
459
00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:07,841
- And they suck.
- [audience laughs]
460
00:16:07,925 --> 00:16:09,385
You know, in the good way.
461
00:16:09,468 --> 00:16:12,054
- [audience laughs]
- Yeah? Well, we brought paper straws.
462
00:16:12,137 --> 00:16:13,137
[indistinct chatter]
463
00:16:13,555 --> 00:16:17,518
Okay, look, Party-Lo does not party
with kids arguing about party straws.
464
00:16:17,601 --> 00:16:18,894
That's too many parties.
465
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:20,437
First of all, that's impossible.
466
00:16:20,521 --> 00:16:22,189
- [audience laughs]
- Second, go upstairs,
467
00:16:22,272 --> 00:16:24,358
figure something out.
I'll try to cover down here.
468
00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:26,860
- What's going on?
- [Mandy] Nothing.
469
00:16:26,944 --> 00:16:30,114
[loudly] Taylor, I need to yell at you
in private on the roof!
470
00:16:30,197 --> 00:16:31,281
I would like nothing more
471
00:16:31,365 --> 00:16:33,409
than to have you yell at me
in private on the roof!
472
00:16:33,492 --> 00:16:35,661
- [audience laughs]
- Monica B., as you can see,
473
00:16:35,744 --> 00:16:37,413
we are very angry at each other
474
00:16:37,496 --> 00:16:38,831
and in no way more than friends.
475
00:16:38,914 --> 00:16:43,002
Ah-ah, something's going on with you two,
and don't keep me out of the loop,
476
00:16:43,335 --> 00:16:46,964
because if I find out about it second,
you won't be happy.
477
00:16:47,047 --> 00:16:48,047
[audience laughs]
478
00:16:48,382 --> 00:16:49,925
[Monica B. inhales and exhales deeply]
479
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:52,177
- [whooshing]
- Okay, I think Monica B. knows about us.
480
00:16:52,261 --> 00:16:54,221
I don't care
about this stupid election anymore.
481
00:16:54,346 --> 00:16:56,390
I'll just drop out.
That way, we'll be free.
482
00:16:57,307 --> 00:16:59,226
Like birds or pretzels on an airplane.
483
00:16:59,309 --> 00:17:00,227
You can't drop out.
484
00:17:00,310 --> 00:17:01,910
People will think I bullied you into it.
485
00:17:01,937 --> 00:17:03,105
Probably because I'm a woman.
486
00:17:03,188 --> 00:17:05,733
A strong, smart, powerful woman.
487
00:17:05,816 --> 00:17:08,110
Stop saying your angel words, Taylor!
488
00:17:08,193 --> 00:17:10,362
- [audience laughs]
- Aw. You two are so cute.
489
00:17:10,821 --> 00:17:12,656
But this party has gotten out of control.
490
00:17:12,740 --> 00:17:13,907
- Are people drinking?
- No.
491
00:17:13,991 --> 00:17:15,385
- Breaking stuff?
- [laughs] If only.
492
00:17:15,409 --> 00:17:17,870
- What is it then?
- There is a giant nerd fight
493
00:17:17,953 --> 00:17:18,871
brewing down there.
494
00:17:18,954 --> 00:17:20,205
It's ruining the party.
495
00:17:20,289 --> 00:17:22,249
The only one
still having fun down there is JJ.
496
00:17:22,332 --> 00:17:23,959
- [whooshing]
- Taste the rainbow, y'all!
497
00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:25,523
- [dance music playing]
- [kids cheer]
498
00:17:26,253 --> 00:17:27,671
[candy clinking]
499
00:17:27,755 --> 00:17:30,382
- [whooshing]
- She is gonna crash hard off that sugar.
500
00:17:30,466 --> 00:17:32,801
- [audience laughs]
- Yep. But at least she gets it.
501
00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:34,344
I threw this great party for you
502
00:17:34,428 --> 00:17:36,268
and set you up to be
the coolest kid in school.
503
00:17:36,305 --> 00:17:38,599
Uh-uh, she's already the coolest kid
in school.
504
00:17:38,682 --> 00:17:39,682
Oh, boy.
505
00:17:39,933 --> 00:17:41,310
I need you to go downstairs
506
00:17:41,393 --> 00:17:43,979
and get this party back on track
before you completely blow it.
507
00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:45,230
What are we gonna do?
508
00:17:45,314 --> 00:17:46,231
Hey, don't worry.
509
00:17:46,315 --> 00:17:49,359
We'll just go downstairs, hold hands,
feel our pulses quicken.
510
00:17:49,443 --> 00:17:50,443
No, Taylor!
511
00:17:50,486 --> 00:17:52,362
- [audience laughs]
- Yes. But no!
512
00:17:52,446 --> 00:17:53,446
[audience laughs]
513
00:17:53,489 --> 00:17:54,782
[mellow music playing]
514
00:17:57,910 --> 00:17:58,952
[music fades]
515
00:18:04,958 --> 00:18:06,668
Okay, first of all,
516
00:18:07,127 --> 00:18:07,961
I'm an idiot.
517
00:18:08,045 --> 00:18:09,338
- [audience laughs]
- Go on.
518
00:18:09,421 --> 00:18:14,259
Combining our anniversary and a WWE cruise
is one of the worst ideas I've ever had.
519
00:18:14,343 --> 00:18:16,678
[chuckles] Worse than steak
and peanut butter?
520
00:18:16,762 --> 00:18:18,806
You know that's basically
just Thai food, right?
521
00:18:18,889 --> 00:18:20,742
- [audience laughs]
- Look, I just wanted to plan
522
00:18:20,766 --> 00:18:23,018
something amazing
like you always do for me.
523
00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:25,104
And, honey, I appreciate it.
524
00:18:25,187 --> 00:18:28,649
I really do,
but I did try to tell you I was too busy.
525
00:18:28,732 --> 00:18:30,794
I thought you were doing that thing
where you pretend
526
00:18:30,818 --> 00:18:33,129
you don't want me to do a thing,
but you really want me to.
527
00:18:33,153 --> 00:18:34,279
[scoffs] I don't do that.
528
00:18:34,363 --> 00:18:36,923
Please! What about the year
we weren't exchanging Christmas gifts
529
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:38,826
and you got me an iPad,
and I got you 20 bucks?
530
00:18:38,909 --> 00:18:39,743
[audience laughs]
531
00:18:39,827 --> 00:18:41,411
- Crap, I do do that.
- Yes, you do do.
532
00:18:41,495 --> 00:18:43,723
- [audience laughs]
- [laughs] Well, this time, I meant it.
533
00:18:43,747 --> 00:18:47,126
Well, you need to send me a signal,
or tap me on the head, or say,
534
00:18:47,209 --> 00:18:49,336
- "Woop-woop!"
- Does it have to be, "Woop-woop!"
535
00:18:49,419 --> 00:18:51,922
Well, if you want it to "woop-woop" work,
it does.
536
00:18:52,005 --> 00:18:53,966
- [audience laughs]
- [chuckles] Okay, deal.
537
00:18:54,424 --> 00:18:57,302
Oh, honey, I am sorry
that I spoiled all your plans.
538
00:18:57,386 --> 00:18:59,138
[chuckles, kisses] Not all of them.
539
00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:01,056
Hit it, boys!
540
00:19:01,181 --> 00:19:02,432
♪ You are ♪
541
00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:05,018
♪ My fire ♪
542
00:19:05,102 --> 00:19:06,145
♪ My one ♪
543
00:19:06,728 --> 00:19:08,981
♪ Desire ♪
544
00:19:09,064 --> 00:19:10,941
♪ Believe ♪
545
00:19:11,441 --> 00:19:13,152
♪ When I say ♪
546
00:19:14,236 --> 00:19:16,405
- ♪ I want it ♪
- [audience laughs]
547
00:19:16,488 --> 00:19:18,407
♪ That way ♪
548
00:19:18,490 --> 00:19:19,700
[group hums]
549
00:19:19,783 --> 00:19:20,993
It's our song...
550
00:19:21,451 --> 00:19:23,745
- sung by three huge men.
- [audience laughs]
551
00:19:23,829 --> 00:19:25,247
See, I actually got us a band,
552
00:19:25,330 --> 00:19:26,165
but they had to go,
553
00:19:26,248 --> 00:19:28,750
so I taught the boys
how to bring Backstreet back.
554
00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:29,877
Aw. I love it.
555
00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:31,336
[Cassy chuckles]
556
00:19:31,712 --> 00:19:32,712
[continued humming]
557
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:34,172
[phone chimes]
558
00:19:34,923 --> 00:19:35,923
It's okay.
559
00:19:37,050 --> 00:19:38,302
[audience laughs]
560
00:19:39,386 --> 00:19:41,388
Oh, my God. I sold the haunted house!
561
00:19:41,471 --> 00:19:44,099
[yelling] Hey, my wife's a real estate
mogul! Yeah!
562
00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:47,728
♪ Don't wanna hear you say ♪
563
00:19:47,811 --> 00:19:48,687
♪ Tell me why ♪
564
00:19:48,770 --> 00:19:51,815
[men together]
♪ Ain't nothin' but a heartache ♪
565
00:19:51,899 --> 00:19:52,733
♪ Tell me why ♪
566
00:19:52,816 --> 00:19:56,236
- [audience laughs]
- ♪ Ain't nothin' but a mistake ♪
567
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:57,487
♪ Tell me why ♪
568
00:19:57,571 --> 00:20:00,824
- [audience laughs]
- ♪ I never wanna hear you say ♪
569
00:20:00,908 --> 00:20:05,287
- ♪ I want it that way ♪
- [audience laughs]
570
00:20:05,370 --> 00:20:06,205
Awesome.
571
00:20:06,288 --> 00:20:08,224
- [audience cheers]
- I only taught them that part.
572
00:20:08,248 --> 00:20:09,958
- [Cassy giggles]
- [upbeat music playing]
573
00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:12,002
You don't even know
what you're talking about!
574
00:20:12,085 --> 00:20:12,920
No, you don't know
575
00:20:13,003 --> 00:20:14,397
- what you're talking about!
- Ooh...
576
00:20:14,421 --> 00:20:16,048
That is the last straw!
577
00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:18,217
Seriously, guys,
I just threw my last straw.
578
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:19,384
What are we gonna do?
579
00:20:19,468 --> 00:20:22,763
It's okay. I'm a uniter. I'll handle it.
[takes a deep breath and exhales]
580
00:20:22,846 --> 00:20:24,097
[indistinct chatter]
581
00:20:25,182 --> 00:20:27,392
Hey, what's up, guys?
582
00:20:27,517 --> 00:20:29,061
Thank God you're here, Mandy.
583
00:20:29,353 --> 00:20:31,271
They think your plan
to replace paper towels
584
00:20:31,355 --> 00:20:32,648
with hand dryers is stupid.
585
00:20:32,731 --> 00:20:35,901
Because those hand dryers
will take money away from school dances,
586
00:20:35,984 --> 00:20:38,338
- [audience laughs]
- which is one of Taylor's top platforms.
587
00:20:38,362 --> 00:20:39,780
I want to throw a dance dance,
588
00:20:39,863 --> 00:20:41,782
a school dance that celebrates dances.
589
00:20:41,865 --> 00:20:43,492
That is a pretty good idea.
590
00:20:43,575 --> 00:20:45,160
No, that idea sucks!
591
00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:46,119
No, you suck!
592
00:20:46,203 --> 00:20:47,746
How dare you say that?
593
00:20:47,829 --> 00:20:49,122
I can say whatever I want!
594
00:20:49,206 --> 00:20:50,040
Not if it sucks!
595
00:20:50,123 --> 00:20:52,376
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Okay! Everyone chill!
596
00:20:52,459 --> 00:20:54,419
The truth is, Mandy and I are...
597
00:20:54,878 --> 00:20:55,878
[audience laughs]
598
00:20:56,797 --> 00:20:58,966
You don't shove food in Taylor's mouth!
599
00:20:59,049 --> 00:21:00,217
What if I did that to Mandy?
600
00:21:00,300 --> 00:21:01,718
- I'd do this!
- [spraying]
601
00:21:01,802 --> 00:21:02,928
[Braeden groans]
602
00:21:03,011 --> 00:21:03,845
[audience laughs]
603
00:21:03,929 --> 00:21:05,347
[Mandy scoffs and pants]
604
00:21:06,473 --> 00:21:07,473
[all screaming]
605
00:21:08,684 --> 00:21:09,685
[Taylor] Mandy! Go!
606
00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:11,728
[continued screaming]
607
00:21:12,437 --> 00:21:13,689
[audience laughs]
608
00:21:16,483 --> 00:21:18,360
[items splattering]
609
00:21:19,695 --> 00:21:21,905
O-M-Gigi Hadid!
610
00:21:21,989 --> 00:21:23,991
[Monica B.] You guys,
I just figured it out!
611
00:21:24,074 --> 00:21:26,368
- Taylor and Mandy are...
- Dating!
612
00:21:26,451 --> 00:21:27,536
[record scratches]
613
00:21:27,619 --> 00:21:29,037
I always wanted to do that.
614
00:21:29,121 --> 00:21:30,122
[audience laughs]
615
00:21:30,205 --> 00:21:31,665
Live from Mandy's party
616
00:21:31,748 --> 00:21:33,917
where I just got the scoop
of the semester!
617
00:21:34,209 --> 00:21:35,209
I knew it!
618
00:21:35,252 --> 00:21:38,422
Mandy, your life is shattered.
What are you feeling right now?
619
00:21:38,505 --> 00:21:40,299
Enough, Monica B.! No one cares!
620
00:21:40,382 --> 00:21:42,634
And why do you insist
on being called Monica B.?
621
00:21:42,718 --> 00:21:44,511
There are no other Monicas in school!
622
00:21:45,012 --> 00:21:46,805
[kids oohing]
623
00:21:48,807 --> 00:21:49,975
[upbeat pop music plays]
624
00:21:53,061 --> 00:21:55,022
- [music fades]
- [broom swishing]
625
00:21:55,105 --> 00:21:57,585
Thank you for throwing me the party
and trying to make me cool.
626
00:21:58,483 --> 00:22:01,403
That was the most amazing thing
a big sister could ever do.
627
00:22:01,820 --> 00:22:02,988
I'm sorry I blew it.
628
00:22:03,071 --> 00:22:05,073
Mandy, this party was legendary.
629
00:22:05,157 --> 00:22:06,157
You had a food fight
630
00:22:06,199 --> 00:22:08,118
and you revealed your secret boyfriend.
631
00:22:08,201 --> 00:22:10,746
If any of those kids had facelifts,
we could put this on Bravo.
632
00:22:10,829 --> 00:22:12,205
[audience laughs]
633
00:22:12,956 --> 00:22:14,124
We should probably wake JJ
634
00:22:14,207 --> 00:22:15,959
before Mom and Dad get home.
635
00:22:19,296 --> 00:22:21,190
- I can quit whenever I want!
- [audience laughs]
636
00:22:21,214 --> 00:22:23,675
JJ, how much candy did you eat?
637
00:22:23,759 --> 00:22:24,760
All of it.
638
00:22:25,218 --> 00:22:26,595
I might have a problem.
639
00:22:26,678 --> 00:22:28,889
- [audience laughs]
- And so many cavities.
640
00:22:29,639 --> 00:22:31,224
- [lock rattles]
- [keys jingling]
641
00:22:32,225 --> 00:22:33,225
[door opens]
642
00:22:33,518 --> 00:22:34,519
[Cassy sighs]
643
00:22:34,853 --> 00:22:36,521
- Hi!
- Ahoy, daughters!
644
00:22:36,605 --> 00:22:38,065
We're pulling into port.
645
00:22:38,523 --> 00:22:40,067
Little dad cruise humor.
646
00:22:40,150 --> 00:22:41,443
[audience laughs]
647
00:22:41,526 --> 00:22:43,111
Begged him not to do it. Begged.
648
00:22:43,195 --> 00:22:44,529
- [audience laughs]
- How was it?
649
00:22:44,613 --> 00:22:46,823
Well, the ending was great.
650
00:22:46,907 --> 00:22:48,950
Your dad had everything
planned out perfectly.
651
00:22:49,576 --> 00:22:52,829
And your mom sold her first house,
so virgin daiquiris for everyone!
652
00:22:52,913 --> 00:22:55,123
- [cheers] Congrats!
- [cheers] Congratulations, Mom.
653
00:22:55,207 --> 00:22:56,207
No, thanks.
654
00:22:56,500 --> 00:22:58,168
Just a black coffee for me.
655
00:22:58,251 --> 00:22:59,461
[audience laughs]
656
00:23:00,045 --> 00:23:02,589
Okay, well,
I am gonna take this bag upstairs,
657
00:23:02,672 --> 00:23:04,424
and then we can celebrate as a family.
658
00:23:05,926 --> 00:23:07,052
[Big Show] Ladies,
659
00:23:07,135 --> 00:23:10,639
you know, I think I have
all the ingredients for our daiquiris,
660
00:23:11,139 --> 00:23:12,139
but I don't know.
661
00:23:12,516 --> 00:23:13,725
Do we have any straws?
662
00:23:14,434 --> 00:23:16,603
Like corn or paper?
663
00:23:16,895 --> 00:23:18,575
[hushed] You said the cameras were rigged.
664
00:23:18,897 --> 00:23:20,607
They were, unless I missed something.
665
00:23:20,690 --> 00:23:22,275
Oh, we may have been gone,
666
00:23:23,026 --> 00:23:25,654
but the camera on this little lady
sees all.
667
00:23:25,737 --> 00:23:26,905
- [audience oohs]
- Party-Lo,
668
00:23:26,988 --> 00:23:28,031
you're party grounded.
669
00:23:29,032 --> 00:23:31,076
Mandy, congratulations on you and Taylor.
670
00:23:31,493 --> 00:23:32,327
And JJ,
671
00:23:32,411 --> 00:23:33,954
you've gotta get straight, kid.
672
00:23:34,037 --> 00:23:35,288
[audience laughs]
673
00:23:35,372 --> 00:23:36,373
This is no way to live.
674
00:23:36,456 --> 00:23:37,456
I know.
675
00:23:37,541 --> 00:23:39,501
I just want to feel like me again.
676
00:23:39,584 --> 00:23:40,836
[audience laughs]
677
00:23:42,546 --> 00:23:44,089
[upbeat pop ending credits playing]
678
00:24:15,328 --> 00:24:16,496
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