[upbeat pop music playing]
- [music fades] - Okay, I'm getting the vibe
that my announcement about going back to the WWE was a bit controversial.
Controversial?
No, the ending of Game of Thrones was controversial.
- This is a tire fire. - [audience laughs]
First of all, no spoilers, please. I'm behind.
How far?
I forgot my HBO password.
- [audience laughs] - Second,
I shouldn't have said I was going back on the road
without talking to you guys first.
But we can work it out.
[paper rustling]
Pro and con again?
Man, this family really loves this format.
Yeah, it's how we chose JJ's name. She was this close to being a Rita.
Rita's a cool name.
Rita breeds pit bulls and drinks as much Mountain Dew as she wants.
- Rita don't care. - [audience laughs]
I'm gonna start with a pro.
The WWE has meant a lot to me,
and I'll be going back to doing something I love.
Okay, but, when you're gone,
- [marker swishing] - it's tough.
And now I have another kid,
a new business, and JJ's like six months out
from running her own criminal enterprise.
Aw! Thanks for believing in me, Mom.
Okay, what if we hire an assistant?
But really? Can we afford it?
Lady, we can't afford not to!
- [audience laughs] - And now we move this over here to a pro.
Dad, you know my driving test is coming up,
and I'm freaking out about it.
You've been teaching me,
and Cassy's too busy now.
How about we get you a driving instructor?
Actually, that might work.
Boom! We're pulling these cons
- left and right, y'all! - [audience laughs]
Who else has something?
Nothing but pro here, Pop.
You being gone means we could finally get a dog.
No, no, JJ, we are not getting a dog. Your dad's allergic, right honey?
My nose gets so stuffed up, I gotta use a garden hose for a Neti Pot.
- [audience laughs] - We haven't even covered
the biggest con yet.
- We'll miss you, Dad. - [marker swishing]
[grunts] She cut me with a sad heart.
[audience laughs]
[strained] I should've seen that coming. Ooh...
Okay, well, we're not gonna solve it all tonight.
Let's all get some sleep and we'll revisit this tomorrow.
We'll figure this out, Papa Bear.
- Aw, thanks, Baby Bear. - [marker swishing]
[audience laughs]
[Big Show clears throat]
JJ,
writing "dog" on the board doesn't make it real.
Fine, but it's on you when I put on a collar on Mandy
and make her pee outside.
[audience laughs]
[bells ding]
[upbeat pop opening credits playing]
- [music fades] - [pot bubbles]
[Cassy sighs heavily]
Couldn't sleep, huh?
No, I came down here to stew on my problems.
And then I realized I actually wanted stew.
[audience laughs]
- Did my cooking wake you? - No.
I rolled into the large impression you made on the mattress
and woke up just struggling like a turtle. [laughs]
- [audience laughs] - Smells good. What's in it?
You know, confusion, worry, two cups of guilt.
- Oh. Your mom's recipe. [laughs] - [audience laughs]
[Big Show chuckles]
You know, I really did hear everyone's concerns,
but I gotta say, this week is the first time in a long time
that I felt like myself.
Is that dumb?
No, not at all.
The WWE has been a huge part of your life, babe.
I don't think I knew how much I missed it.
It's like I've been searching for the next chapter,
and then I realize I haven't finished writing the last one.
[sighs heavily] Well, maybe you should.
Go on tour, do a proper retirement match.
Really? You sure?
Yeah! I mean, get it all out of your system.
It's only a few months, right?
Yeah, but what about you, the kids, your business?
I mean, won't it be crazy?
No, I can handle it.
Go and finish your chapter, Show.
[pats chest] I got you.
I don't know what to say.
- [laughs] Just kiss me, dummy. - Mm...
[kisses] But don't kid yourself.
When you get back, we are getting a new mattress.
Seriously, sharing a bed with you
is like sleeping on the edge of the Grand Canyon. [chuckles]
[audience laughs]
You know, people pay a lot of money for that view.
- [scoffs] - [audience laughs]
[upbeat pop music playing]
[music fades]
- [rock music playing] - [banner tears]
[yelling] Get ready, America, 'cause Friday Night SmackDown
just got a whole lot bigger!
[gruff] Yeah!
[Terry] And cut!
- Check the gate. - [audience laughs]
[exhales] How's it going, guys?
I'm Show's manager.
- Not true. - [audience laughs]
Terry, you can't even manage your emotions at a Pixar movie.
- [audience laughs] - Who can? I'm not a robot.
Now you got me thinking about Wall-E.
Man, keep it together, there's other wrestlers around.
And if I'm not your manager,
why'd I just booked you into an appearance at Disney World?
'Cause you didn't?
- Fair enough. - [audience laughs]
But I did get two free tickets for sitting through a timeshare pitch.
Oh, no, Terry. [laughing] Tell me you also didn't buy a timeshare.
Oh, I got a good deal. Yeah, it's walking distance from an Arby's,
if you don't mind crossing a turnpike.
- [audience laughs] - I'm gonna have to pass.
I finally get to go home this weekend.
Do you know how hard it is to be here and miss out on anything with my girls?
Yeah, but don't you FaceTime 'em, like, every ten minutes?
It's not the same.
Just yesterday, Cassy was so busy she put her phone in the purse
without hanging up.
I had to listen to her mangle
- two Lizzo songs! - Ooh!
- [audience laughs] - And yell at the GPS.
- I named my GPS Lisa. - [audience laughs]
And I'm man enough to admit, Show. [hushed] I love her.
You know you don't have to say every thought in your head.
- I don't? - No.
- You sure? - Yes.
- [audience laughs] - Pound it out.
[audience laughs]
[upbeat pop music playing]
[music fades]
Hey, JJ, can you help me with my inauguration speech?
Lower School Prez gets five minutes, and I'm running at a breezy 93.
- [audience laughs] - [JJ] No, I'm busy!
I'm reading a book!
- Well, that's a straight up lie. - [audience laughs]
- Oh, my... - [audience] Aw...
Where did that dog come from?
Old Mrs. Feldman.
She's moving to Miami
and she can't bring her.
So I said I'd take her.
But Mom says we can't have a dog.
- Mom says lots of stuff I don't listen to. - [audience laughs]
Look, I knew you would be against this,
so I prepared an elaborate case to convince you.
Here.
- [audience laughs] - [Mandy gasps]
Her fur smells like giggles.
Case closed.
- [audience laughs] - Too bad I have to give her back.
What, why?
Because we'd have to keep her a secret,
and you're a terrible liar.
What? That's not true.
You once got an ulcer 'cause you lied to Mom
about having a good day.
- Ow... - [audience laughs]
It hurts my stomach just thinking about it.
But this time, I promise not to blow it.
Oh, my goodness, I love this dog so much.
What's her name?
Mrs. Feldman called her Princess,
but I'm going with Lil' Tricky.
- [audience laughs] - [dog barks]
- [Mandy] Aw... - [giggles]
[upbeat pop music playing]
You're doing great. Just, uh, keep checking your mirrors
and don't follow too closely.
I'm actually doing this.
You know, I was nervous when I found out you were my teacher
after seeing you faceplant off that Bird Scooter,
but you're a great teacher, Coach Fenner.
Ah, thanks. [chuckles]
Yeah, it's just a little side hustle so I can raise some cash.
Yeah, I wanna impress my special lady
and take her to an all-inclusive beach resort.
Nice, like Sandals in Jamaica?
What? No, I'm a gym coach, not Warren Buffet.
- [audience laughs] - We're going to Flip Flops
- in Daytona, redneck riviera. - [audience laughs]
All right, let's, uh, just come to a complete stop up here and, um...
- [beeping] - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
That's my girlfriend's ex-husband,
Dale.
- [audience laughs] - He manages the Pep Boys.
- Real hotshot. - [audience laughs]
Wait a second, that's her street. What's he doing around here?
Come on, follow him.
- Go! We're losing him! - [tires screech]
Uh, Mr. Coach Fenner,
is tailing people gonna be on the driver's test?
Yes, it's called defensive driving.
What are we defending?
My heart! Left!
- [audience laughs] - Left! Left!
- What...? - [door closes]
- What are you doing with a bowl of water? - Um...
I... [stammers] It's for me!
A new study says drinking from a bowl is the best way to hydrate. Ow!
- [audience laughs] - I'm too tired to unpack that. Carry on.
[curious music plays]
[audience laughs]
- [bowl rattles] - Tough day, huh?
Tell me everything.
[sighs] You know, I'm still trying to find an assistant,
and they're all terrible. One of them told me
that she is a practicing witch
and needed every full moon off
to hang with her coven in Boca.
[audience laughs]
Tough day, huh?
Tell me everything.
What is wrong with you?
Did you drink my kombucha? 'Cause you're acting lowkey hammered.
- [doorbell rings] - Oh, no, put a pin in it.
That's my last candidate
for the assistant position.
Uh, Benet Paté. I think she's French.
Good luck, Mom.
[sing-songy] Hey, girl!
[audience laughs]
[knocking at door]
Hey, girl.
- [audience laughs] - Bennett? You're Benet Paté?
I had to lie, Cassy. I knew you wouldn't see me otherwise.
Yeah, 'cause you got your dad to fire me!
And then he fired me!
I shook his hand, and he filed an HR complaint for unwanted touching.
- [audience laughs] - Well, in the words of my idol, RuPaul,
- “Sashay away,” Benet Paté! - [grunts]
- Stop! Cassy, wait! - [audience laughs]
You were my mentor and I sold you out, okay?
I just want a chance to make things right.
I'll do anything!
- Anything? - [audience laughs]
Anything.
[upbeat music playing]
- [music fades] - Wait, wait, wait.
These are supposed to be sorted by color.
What color is this, Bennett?
- Blue? - It's teal, Bennett!
- [audience laughs] - [screams] Teal!
- [toys rattle] - Start again!
[audience laughs]
You said anything.
Hey, girls!
- [Cassy and JJ] Daddy! - [Big Show chuckles]
- Hey! - Okay,
I just ate a box of expired Oreos and I might be hallucinating,
but is that that little turd, Bennett?
- [audience laughs] - Yeah, I hired him as my assistant.
Before you freak out, he is on super probation,
and I gave him a huge list of chores to do.
Happy to be back on the team!
- [audience laughs] - [underwhelmed] Yay, team!
Now chop-chop, chicken butt.
That book report on Charlotte's Web ain't gonna write itself.
[audience laughs]
- [toys clinking] - [audience laughs]
- [kisses] - [kisses] I missed you so much!
Oh, same, times a million.
Look, after this weekend, I'm gonna be gone for a month,
so I wanna get in as much family time as I can.
Sounds great.
Whatever you need. Grocery run, laundry... You want me to get that possum
out of the shed?
I'm afraid of his doll eyes, but I'll do it.
No, actually, Bennett has been great.
He even took care of the possum.
He lured it out with some old caramel corn he found in the garage.
Aw, that was my emergency popcorn, Bennett! [groans]
Come on! Check with the girls. I'm sure they have something
they need help with.
- Yeah, good idea. [kisses] - Okay.
Love that you're here, Dad, but I'm good.
Yeah, me too. Thanks for asking.
Really? There's gotta be something.
Mandy, I can help you with your speech.
It's ready.
JJ just did a joke pass.
- The kid really knows my voice. - [audience laughs]
Lola, we can jump in the car and do a driving lesson.
No need. Coach Fenner has me on point.
He's taught me a lot about driving
and how divorce isn't the end,
- it's the beginning. - [audience laughs]
This is crazy! Something chewed my Jimmy Choos.
- [audience laughs] - Girls, what do you know about this?
Don't look at me. I've been staking out at Pep Boys all day.
Mandy?
Um...
Uh, well... [sighs]
[stammers] it was JJ!
She's been acting out since Dad left.
Ow... Yeah, well, there's your answer
- as unlikely as it seems. [chuckles] - [audience laughs]
Wow, that poor kid.
Oh, come on, Show, I know you want to do some parenting,
but you don't actually believe that, do you?
These shoes are made of suede, not Twizzlers!
What can I say? [sighs]
My daughter needs me. Better let me handle this.
[chuckles] Okay, fine.
But something weird is going on, and I will figure it out.
Well, [sighs] I better go talk to JJ.
Oh! Uh, well, uh... I'm just gonna come with you!
- [Big Show thuds] - [audience laughs]
- [upbeat music plays, then fades] - Okay, Dad, let's go talk to JJ.
We'll be there any second, here we come.
- Walk, walk, walk... door! - [audience laughs]
What are you doing?
Nothing weird, that's for sure!
- Ow! - [audience laughs]
JJ... [sighs]
we need to talk about this morning.
Yes, JJ, why don't you tell him what you did?
Uh... Okay?
That's a big area, but I'll give it a shot.
[audience laughs]
Dad...
I'm sorry that I grew my hair.
No, Mom... Mom!
I'm sorry that Mom's feet...
I'm gonna go with tastes like corn?
- [audience laughs] - No, honey.
You chewed your mom's shoes.
Really?
- [mouths "yes"] - [JJ] Oh...
- Yes, that's right, I did do that! - [audience laughs]
Yeah!
Sorry.
I know being apart is hard,
but if you're sad,
destroying your mom's shoes is no way to show us.
Use your words, not your teeth.
Thank you, Daddy!
I won't do it again!
[audience laughs]
- [Big Show] Look... - Wow!
Great talk, Dad.
One of your best.
Right up there with the "you do you" speech.
[audience laughs]
Okay, that was my fault.
Ya think?
What was I supposed to do? Mom asked me a question.
Can you imagine me not answering a question?
I can't!
See, I even had to answer myself.
- [audience laughs] - Here, have a cuddle to take the edge off.
As long as we don't lose our heads, we'll be fine.
[knocking at window]
- [audience oohs] - Hello, ladies!
- Oh, no. - [audience laughs]
- [Bennett grunts] - What are you doing out there, Bennett?
Your mother has me cleaning the gutters.
I was attacked by birds.
- It seemed very personal. - [audience laughs]
[dusts hands] But that's okay,
because I got to see your little puppy scam.
So, here's the deal.
I own you two now, and you're gonna do whatever I want,
or I'm gonna blab about your secret pooch.
[sighs] What do you want us to do, Bennett?
Oh... [paper rustles]
I have a list.
- [audience laughs] - [upbeat music playing]
And after you're done with the dishes, you guys can fold your dad's underwear.
- It really is a two-person job. - [audience laughs]
Honey me.
[audience laughs]
- [rock ballad playing] - ♪ So baby leave a light on ♪
[audience laughs]
♪ In the time that we hold ♪
- [audience laughs] - [turns off song] You okay, Coach Fenner?
Seems like a lot of emotion for a driving lesson.
My lady friend and I are no longer lovers.
We have...
uncoupled.
- [audience laughs] - There's definitely less disturbing ways
to put that,
- [audience laughs] - but I'm sorry.
No, no, uh... [sniffles]
No, I'm sorry.
Uh, this is your pre-test, and I need to be a professional.
Remember to watch for signals. Sometimes they mean merge, and...
sometimes it means she's having secret pot stickers
at a PF Chang's with her ex-husband.
- How do I compete with that? - [audience laughs]
- [phone rings] - Oh, sorry, it's...
Oh, it's the manager at Flip Flops. I'm trying to get my deposit back.
Yes, this is Leslie Fenner.
Non-refundable?
- Should I turn left here? - [stammers]
What about in the case of natural disasters?
[strained] Well, I've been hit with an emotional tsunami, sir.
- [audience laughs] - I think I missed it.
[stammers] Have you ever been in love?
[yelling] Twenty years?
Come on, man!
- [yelling] That's it! - [car screeches]
Give this sad little man his money!
[scoffs] Why?
Because I'm a kid trying to get my license,
and every adult in my life is too busy to help me!
And if I don't get my license, then I can't get a job,
which means I will have plenty of time
to trash your dumpy resort online every day until I graduate!
[audience laughs]
- [sweetly] Thank you! - [audience laughs]
Okay, it's done.
Wow. [chuckles]
Thanks, Lola.
That was amazing.
You're welcome.
Now, get your head in the game.
- This lady wants to roll! - [tires screech]
- [audience laughs] - [upbeat music playing]
[music fades]
Wow, what happened to you two?
Surprise!
We turned the garage into a home gym for you.
The girls loved to helping.
Right?
- [audience laughs] - Ooh, so many spiders.
Perfect Sunday.
Speaking of Sundays,
I've got a surprise.
Follow me to the kitchen.
God, I love being part of a family that lets me inside the house!
[audience laughs]
Okay,
we have to do something about Bennett.
Don't sweat it.
I've got a plan.
[sighs] Good!
Because I am not polishing the rims on his Scion.
- [audience laughs] - [upbeat music playing]
- [music fades] - [booming] I present the big sundae bar!
- [audience laughs] - Big Show production.
Wow, Dad, this is amazing! [gasps]
And the cherries are pitted? Way to keep it safe.
You guys have been so great. I just want to do something to say thanks.
This is awesome, honey, but don't you leave for Orlando soon?
Uh, yeah, Terry's on his way over now.
Oh! Okay, so you're just gonna fill our kids with sugar,
drive off and leave me with this huge mess?
- Huh. - [audience laughs]
You know, that is not an angle I even considered.
Well, I'm sure the girls will help clean up.
Right, Mandy?
- [audience laughs] - Uh...
Oh, shut your pie hole, Bennett. We're not cleaning up anything.
Is that a dog?
Yep.
Mandy and I have been hiding a dog,
and Bennett's been blackmailing us.
- [gasps] Ooh, is that a sundae bar? Sweet! - [audience laughs]
Bennett, I trusted you!
- Yeah, you did, which was really stupid. - [audience laughs]
But know this, you haven't seen the last of Benet Paté!
That's not even your name!
Or your bowl!
[audience laughs]
And you two. [stammers] I don't even know what to say.
I mean, how could you do this? Especially knowing your dad is allergic.
Uh... Is he though?
Aw... Who's so cute?
- [audience laughs] - You're so cute. Look at you!
[Big Show cooing]
- [fakes sneeze] - [audience laughs]
Wait...
Dad's not really allergic?
[sighs] No.
I love dogs.
They're little snuggle monsters that can save you from a fire.
- [audience laughs] - But then why'd you lie to us?
Okay, look, I knew that with your Dad on the road
that if we got a dog, I would be the one taking care of it.
So we blamed me, so Mom wouldn't be the bad guy.
And now that they know that, I'm the bad guy once again.
Nice job, Show.
You're welcome.
- [audience laughs] - Oh...
You're being sarcastic.
[Lola screams]
[Lola grunts and sighs]
- [groaning and crying] - [can hisses]
[audience laughs]
Uh, Lola, how was your driving test?
What do you think?
Yeah, I gotta fail you. Talking on a cellphone while driving
is a big no-no.
[screams]
- [audience laughs] - [horn blares]
If you weren't off with your wrestling thing,
I'd have my license by now!
- And a dog! - And a dog!
Wait, where did the dog come from?
- [audience laughs] - Doesn't matter! Here's what matters!
I moved here from Minnesota so that we could be together
and have all these experiences.
I really wanted to share stuff with you.
I just don't get why you messed that all up!
Lola!
We should go check on her. Come on, JJ.
[phone chimes]
Ah, shoot!
Terry's outside. I'm gonna tell him to wait.
No, no, just go live your dream.
I'll take care of it.
But, Show, you know, next time you wanna make a huge mess,
can you make it a wine bar?
'Cause I could really go for a bowl of Chardonnay right now.
- [bowls clink] - [audience laughs]
[Cassy sighs]
[mellow music playing]
- [music fades] - Show, why do I get the feeling
you're not taking this seriously?
- [audience laughs] - I'm sorry, man.
I just hate the way I left things with Cassy and the girls.
I keep texting, but nobody's responding.
[Terry sighs]
I get it.
- Family stuff is hard. - [floor rattles]
At all my family reunions, someone always winds up getting poisoned.
[audience laughs]
But this is your big comeback.
You got to be in it to win it.
- Yeah, okay, let's do this. - All right.
- [Big Show exhales] - [floor rattling]
[sharp exhale]
Now, I'm gonna hit you in the head with this chair.
- [audience laughs] - I need your eye contact
and I need your focus.
Man, I've had, like, 3,000 chair shots to my dome.
- I got this. - All right.
- [phone chimes] - Cassy!
- [chair clanks] - Oh, Show! Ooh!
- [Big Show thuds] - [fading] I said I need your eye contact!
[dreamlike music playing]
- [music fades] - [Terry] Ah...
There he is!
Man, you were really out!
Like a super thick Sleeping Beauty.
- [audience laughs] - [Big Show groans and sighs]
What happened? My head is killing me.
You got a clunk in the head, bro.
[doorbell rings]
[shushes] Show's starting.
Oh, yeah,
you're gonna love this.
- [Cassy sighs heavily] - [Big Show] Oh...
Hey, Cass!
[shivers] What the... Am I dead?
- [audience laughs] - No!
This is a dream.
That's why I look so fly!
[audience laughs]
And check it out.
In this dream, you never retired from wrestling.
And Cassy, she never started her business.
She works for this dude.
Hey, Bennett. Is everything okay?
- No, I ordered a salad for lunch, - [audience laughs]
and I said no onions.
- Fix it! - Oh...
[audience laughs]
Uh, but you already ate it. How can I fix that?
I don't know. Time machine, shrink ray. Those are two brilliant ideas right there.
Why am I doing your job?
- [container rattles] - [Cassy] Oh!
- [audience laughs] - [sighs] God, I can't stand that guy.
Why does he always slap things out of my hands?
[groans] I hate this job so much!
[Big Show] Cassy, wait!
- No, no, Show, don't do that! Show, don't! - [dreamlike harp plays]
- [bell ringing] - [Big Show] Whoa... Okay, that's freaky.
[Terry] Extremely freaky.
But that's how it works in this dream.
Why's JJ in her old classroom?
She didn't join the smart kids class
because you weren't there to inspire her.
She's always in trouble now.
Okay, that's 30. Can I go?
I lost 80 bucks on that fish.
Give me 30 more.
[audience laughs]
[dreamlike harp plays]
I didn't run for pride or for glory
but because I felt called to listen and to lead.
And as your Lower School President,
I promise you that's what I'll do every day.
At least I didn't screw things up with Mandy. She's killing that speech.
Oh, wait for it, baby.
- How was that, Taylor? - Dope!
Email it to me so I can practice before my inauguration tomorrow.
Right away.
I'm confused.
Why is Mandy writing speeches instead of giving 'em?
Because she was never pushed to find her identity or her confidence.
- Oh... - Mm.
Because I wasn't home,
and I'm the one who gave her the confidence.
No, man. It wasn't you.
[audience laughs]
- [dreamlike harp plays] - [Terry sighs] It was her.
I don't know that kid.
Me neither.
Sorry, all these winter coats
- make everyone look alike. - [audience laughs]
I meant her.
So, Lola never moved to Florida.
Yep. She's still up here in Minnesota.
[phone rings]
[wind whirring]
[continued ringing]
[clicks]
[sighs] Think I'm done here, Terry.
Yeah, you and me both.
Nobody can see us,
and we're still cold? That don't make any sense!
Show?
- [dreamlike harp plays] - [Terry, fading] Show?
Show! Show! Show!
- [grunts] - Show?
I just had the craziest dream.
- [exhales] - And you were there.
Hope I wasn't naked.
- [audience laughs] - I've felt real puffy lately.
Luckily for the both of us, mainly me,
you were fully clothed.
If you're okay, we gotta get down to the ringer.
Are you ready to go?
- Yeah, I'm ready. - [upbeat music plays, then fades]
[wrestling commotion plays on TV]
[footsteps approaching]
Oh... [sighs] Come on, guys, don't look so bummed out.
You love watching your dad wrestle.
That was before we learned/
he was the heavy-weight champion of lying.
- [audience laughs] - Okay, we definitely have some stuff
to work out, but we are a family,
so we are gonna watch Dad do what he does best.
Chokeslam a smaller,
but still enormous man right through the mat?
- [audience laughs] - Hey, chokeslams paid for this house.
[announcer] And still to come tonight, live on SmackDown,
a very special appearance from one of the greatest legends
in the history of the WWE.
A return to the ring from the one and only...
- [booming] The Big Show! - [all scream]
- [JJ] What? - Dad, what are you doing home?
I wanted to surprise you guys.
It worked. I totally pooped a little.
[audience laughs]
Yeah, let's put you down.
Show, [stammers] I'm confused.
But I'm not. Not anymore.
My head is super clear.
Although, it did take me passing out for a while to get there.
Passing out is how I finally realized I can't process dairy.
- [audience laughs] - Okay, here's the deal.
I love wrestling, I really do.
But this time out, my heart just wasn't in it.
How come?
Because I left it here with you guys.
- [Cassy exhales] Aw. - [audience] Aw...
- [Cassy clicks tongue] - [Big Show sighs]
This is where I need to be, and I'm never going back to wrestling.
Babe, are you sure?
Hundred percent.
[takes a deep breath] And Lola...
No need, Dad. It's all good.
[voice breaks] No, it's not. You were right.
You moved here so that you and I could be closer,
and I straight up let you down.
I'm never gonna do that again.
[fist whacks]
- [audience laughs] - Ow!
What was that for?
You know emotions make me punchy.
[audience laughs]
- Thank you. - [Big Show sniffles]
Dad, the only thing I'm bummed about is that we didn't get to see your match.
Yeah, it was gonna be epic.
You know what?
[exhales heavily] It still could be.
[upbeat music playing]
Ladies and gentlemen,
girls and girls!
- [audience laughs] - Welcome to the Battle of the Bannister,
- the rumble in the rec room! - [audience laughs]
Coming to the ring
is a seven-time world champ,
and a man who once licked a scented marker to see if it tasted like lemon.
- [Big Show] It did not. - [audience laughs]
[booming] The Big Show!
- ["The Big Show" rock theme plays] - ♪ Well, it's The Big Show ♪
- [audience cheers] - [Big Show roars]
[gruff yelling] Whose house?
Literally,
- my house! - [audience laughs]
And his opponent,
the Chief Justice of pain, the Mandazzler!
- It's about to get litigious up in here! - [audience cheers]
[Cassy laughs]
And her tag team partner,
hailing all the way from Minnesota, it's the Mauler of America!
[audience cheers]
[stick rattles]
I'm gonna hit you with Minneapolis and knock you out with Saint Paul!
[audience laughs]
This is a no holds barred match.
Just one rule:
No shoes on the pillows.
- [audience laughs] - And go!
[bell ringing]
Oh, and right out of the gate,
these girls have got the Big Show crossed up!
Oh, he's in trouble.
What's he gonna do?
- [Big Show bellows] - [Cassy] Oh!
- [Big Show cackles] - Get him, girls! Get him!
- Shouldn't have showed you that! - [Cassy] Oh, no!
[pants] Oh, my God.
- I need some help! - What's this?
A surprise entrance on the stairs,
[booming] it's the Little Show!
- ["The Little Show" rock theme plays] - Yeah!
- [audience cheers] - [Big Show grunting]
[all struggling]
Hey, you're supposed to be on my side.
It's a yielder. Heard of it?
Oh, no! No!
- [audience laughs] - No! [groans]
Oh, what a turn of events!
And in for the pin,
it's our referee!
[audience laughs]
[dog barks]
- [barking] - And look at that, folks!
We have a new champion!
- [Cassy] Whoo! - [girls cheering]
- [Cassy] You killed it! - [all excitedly talking over each other]
["This Will Be Our Year" by The Zombies playing]
♪ Is like the warmth of the sun ♪
♪ And this will be our year ♪
♪ Took a long time to come ♪
♪ Don't let go of my hand ♪
♪ Now darkness has gone ♪
♪ And this will be our year ♪
♪ Took a long time to come ♪
♪ And I won't forget ♪
♪ The way you held me up When I was down ♪
♪ And I won't forget the way you said ♪
♪ "Darling I love you" ♪
♪ You gave me faith to go on ♪
♪ Now we're there And we've only just begun ♪
♪ This will be our year ♪
♪ Took a long time to come ♪
Subtitle translation by
[song fades]