1 00:00:00,918 --> 00:00:02,670 - [kids shouting indistinctly] 2 00:00:04,922 --> 00:00:07,759 - VIVIAN: Please, I'm gonna shoot you. 3 00:00:07,800 --> 00:00:10,428 Please, I'm gonna shoot you! 4 00:00:10,470 --> 00:00:12,597 - Hey, hey, guys, come on. 5 00:00:12,638 --> 00:00:13,806 - Dad! 6 00:00:13,848 --> 00:00:15,725 - I know, it's Felix's birthday, he's gonna shoot you guys. 7 00:00:15,767 --> 00:00:18,352 - Ow. - Sorry, sorry. 8 00:00:18,644 --> 00:00:20,188 - Follow me upstairs. 9 00:00:20,229 --> 00:00:23,191 - That birthday cake was so good. 10 00:00:23,232 --> 00:00:25,026 - Yes, thanks again for making it. 11 00:00:25,068 --> 00:00:28,738 - It was really sweet that Felix wanted just his family here. 12 00:00:29,030 --> 00:00:31,240 He has friends at school, doesn't he? 13 00:00:31,282 --> 00:00:34,160 - Yes, Mom. It's his friend's party this weekend. 14 00:00:34,202 --> 00:00:35,578 - Another party? Well... 15 00:00:35,620 --> 00:00:38,206 - Yeah, well, the poor kid lost two birthdays to the pandemic. 16 00:00:38,247 --> 00:00:39,624 So, this is special. 17 00:00:39,665 --> 00:00:41,209 - Should I get another present? 18 00:00:41,250 --> 00:00:43,294 - No, no, one toy gun is enough. 19 00:00:43,336 --> 00:00:45,588 And the one thing I asked you not to get. 20 00:00:45,630 --> 00:00:47,090 - I'll get him more bullets then. 21 00:00:47,131 --> 00:00:49,175 - So, is Corey coming to the party this weekend? 22 00:00:49,217 --> 00:00:52,762 - He's been saving newspapers and fruit stickers for weeks. 23 00:00:52,804 --> 00:00:54,347 - That's awesome. Why? 24 00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:56,808 - You know, instead of wrapping paper and Scotch Tape, 25 00:00:56,849 --> 00:00:58,267 which is choking the planet? 26 00:00:58,309 --> 00:01:00,103 - Well, in that case, shouldn't you 27 00:01:00,144 --> 00:01:02,105 not be buying newspapers anymore as well? 28 00:01:02,146 --> 00:01:04,774 - And stop supporting print media? 29 00:01:04,816 --> 00:01:05,942 Right. 30 00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:08,569 - Hey, we should go. 31 00:01:08,611 --> 00:01:10,446 Corey's still recovering, don't wanna push him. 32 00:01:10,488 --> 00:01:11,906 - Recovering from what? - No, 33 00:01:11,948 --> 00:01:14,242 he was just a little... just a little sick. 34 00:01:14,283 --> 00:01:16,994 - What? - It's not COVID, okay? 35 00:01:17,036 --> 00:01:18,287 We're all vaccinated. 36 00:01:18,329 --> 00:01:19,914 - You brought him here sick, 37 00:01:19,956 --> 00:01:21,624 knowing that Felix's party is in two days? 38 00:01:21,666 --> 00:01:24,377 - It's fine, he's on a natural immune booster. 39 00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:26,629 My own brew. It's like a face mask 40 00:01:26,671 --> 00:01:27,839 for your whole body. 41 00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:29,465 - Good. Bo made a potion. My mind's at ease. 42 00:01:29,507 --> 00:01:31,592 - We would've never come here if we thought there was 43 00:01:31,634 --> 00:01:33,344 any chance of getting you all-- 44 00:01:33,386 --> 00:01:34,303 - [coughs] 45 00:01:34,345 --> 00:01:35,721 - ASTRID: Being sick sucks. 46 00:01:35,763 --> 00:01:37,515 But before kids, you could at least focus on 47 00:01:37,557 --> 00:01:39,725 healing yourself with your favorite remedies. 48 00:01:39,767 --> 00:01:41,352 - JAMES: Sleep, watch The Shield, 49 00:01:41,394 --> 00:01:43,604 snack, sweat, spend hours on the toilet. 50 00:01:43,646 --> 00:01:44,856 It was glorious. 51 00:01:44,897 --> 00:01:46,691 - ASTRID: But kids don't care if you're sick. 52 00:01:46,732 --> 00:01:48,192 They need, "Mommy and Daddy." 53 00:01:48,234 --> 00:01:49,777 They want lunch and clean underwear 54 00:01:49,819 --> 00:01:51,529 and to scream at you when you forget that 55 00:01:51,571 --> 00:01:53,114 they're pretending to be a horse. 56 00:01:53,156 --> 00:01:54,949 And they're usually the ones making you sick. 57 00:01:54,991 --> 00:01:56,909 They literally grab viruses and put them in their noses. 58 00:01:56,951 --> 00:02:00,496 We used to have time to get to take care of ourselves. 59 00:02:00,538 --> 00:02:01,581 Now... 60 00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:03,332 I have to plan a birthday party today. 61 00:02:03,374 --> 00:02:04,542 [groans] 62 00:02:04,917 --> 00:02:06,460 - You're dead. 63 00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:12,300 - [coughs] 64 00:02:13,134 --> 00:02:16,137 - Hon, what can I do to help? You should take it easy today. 65 00:02:16,179 --> 00:02:18,764 - Take it easy? You want me to take it eas-- 66 00:02:18,806 --> 00:02:20,725 Do you have any idea what I have to do? 67 00:02:20,766 --> 00:02:22,268 I have to bake a cake, 68 00:02:22,310 --> 00:02:24,395 I have to get decorations, loot bags. 69 00:02:24,437 --> 00:02:26,564 Take it easy, huh? What? 70 00:02:26,856 --> 00:02:28,274 - You know, even if you weren't sick, 71 00:02:28,316 --> 00:02:29,775 it kinda sounds last minute. 72 00:02:30,943 --> 00:02:33,779 Which is why it's so amazing that you do a killer job 73 00:02:33,821 --> 00:02:35,781 every year. All... Every time. 74 00:02:35,823 --> 00:02:38,409 Which is why I should do it this year. 75 00:02:38,451 --> 00:02:40,411 - No, I'm fine. I just... 76 00:02:40,953 --> 00:02:43,164 just feel a little weak and pukey, 77 00:02:43,206 --> 00:02:45,291 and my bones are cold. 78 00:02:45,583 --> 00:02:46,834 - [kids screaming] 79 00:02:46,876 --> 00:02:48,252 - Ow! My cold bones. 80 00:02:48,294 --> 00:02:52,215 - Viv put Play-Doh down my pants and said it was cow plop. 81 00:02:52,256 --> 00:02:54,258 So now I get to do it to her. 82 00:02:54,300 --> 00:02:55,343 - No! 83 00:02:55,384 --> 00:02:57,011 Viv, stop sneaking things in people's pants. 84 00:02:57,053 --> 00:03:00,181 - Yeah, I had broccoli fall outta my pant leg at work. 85 00:03:00,223 --> 00:03:01,515 That's hard to live down. 86 00:03:01,557 --> 00:03:05,144 Give Viv the Play-Doh. Viv, put it down your own pants. 87 00:03:05,645 --> 00:03:07,271 There you go. Now there's cow plop 88 00:03:07,313 --> 00:03:08,773 in Viv's pants, you're even. 89 00:03:08,814 --> 00:03:10,441 - That's not fair, Mom. 90 00:03:10,483 --> 00:03:11,692 Mom... Mom. 91 00:03:11,734 --> 00:03:14,904 - Did he just call me "Mom"? He called me "Mom." 92 00:03:14,946 --> 00:03:16,239 - Okay. Hey, guys? 93 00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:20,243 Your mom... Mom's... Mommy-wommy's not feeling well. 94 00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,703 So, just go upstairs and get ready for... 95 00:03:22,745 --> 00:03:24,830 Let's go, let's go. Put some clothes on. And, hey. 96 00:03:24,872 --> 00:03:26,082 [exclaims] What're you doing? 97 00:03:26,123 --> 00:03:27,458 That cow plop stays in those pants 98 00:03:27,500 --> 00:03:28,751 till you go all the way upstairs. 99 00:03:28,793 --> 00:03:29,961 - No. - JAMES: Yes. 100 00:03:30,002 --> 00:03:32,296 - I have a question. Who is "Mom"? 101 00:03:32,338 --> 00:03:34,507 Because I'm Mommy. I'm Mommy. 102 00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:35,841 - I know. Felix is growing up. 103 00:03:35,883 --> 00:03:38,010 The other day, he told me I was being rude. 104 00:03:38,052 --> 00:03:39,637 - You were on your phone at the dinner table. 105 00:03:39,679 --> 00:03:41,973 - I know, he was right. It was so grown up about him. 106 00:03:42,014 --> 00:03:44,475 - No, I don't... I don't want him to grow up. 107 00:03:44,517 --> 00:03:46,352 - But it's kind of a disease if he doesn't, hon. 108 00:03:46,394 --> 00:03:49,897 - [gasps] What if doesn't want his "Mom" to be Dr. Bad Guy 109 00:03:49,939 --> 00:03:51,190 at the birthday party? 110 00:03:51,232 --> 00:03:52,733 - No, no, no, no. 111 00:03:52,775 --> 00:03:55,486 He absolutely wants Dr. Bad Guy. That's tradition. 112 00:03:55,528 --> 00:03:57,405 But everything else, I'm gonna do. 113 00:03:57,446 --> 00:03:59,240 I'm gonna get a cake from Ronces Crossaintsie. 114 00:03:59,282 --> 00:04:01,075 - No, no, you're not. 115 00:04:01,117 --> 00:04:02,535 Remember Viv's birthday last year? 116 00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:04,370 We asked for a Peppa, and they gave us Popeye. 117 00:04:04,412 --> 00:04:07,164 And you, for some reason, said it was "Summertime Santa." 118 00:04:07,206 --> 00:04:08,541 - It's summer. He shaves the beard, 119 00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:09,709 he wears a captain's hat. 120 00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:11,210 Because it's like he's on vaca... 121 00:04:11,252 --> 00:04:12,795 Okay, so I'm not gonna call Ronces Crossaintsie. 122 00:04:12,837 --> 00:04:15,673 But everything else, I'm gonna do. I got this. 123 00:04:15,965 --> 00:04:17,466 - Okay, thank you, I love you. 124 00:04:17,508 --> 00:04:18,759 - JAMES: Mm. 125 00:04:19,802 --> 00:04:22,346 [mutters indistinctly] 126 00:04:22,388 --> 00:04:24,557 I love you. 127 00:04:28,185 --> 00:04:29,437 Ready for school, Felix? 128 00:04:29,478 --> 00:04:30,604 - I guess so. 129 00:04:30,646 --> 00:04:32,773 - This about the cow plop incident? 130 00:04:33,983 --> 00:04:35,192 Principles. Good for you. 131 00:04:35,234 --> 00:04:36,736 Listen, I want to talk to you about something. 132 00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:39,530 Mommy is feeling a little sick, so... 133 00:04:39,572 --> 00:04:40,865 Wait for it... 134 00:04:40,906 --> 00:04:44,285 This year, Daddy is gonna finish getting your party ready, right? 135 00:04:45,286 --> 00:04:46,912 - Okay. 136 00:04:48,456 --> 00:04:49,999 - Okay, so, here's what I'm thinking. 137 00:04:50,041 --> 00:04:52,835 I'm thinkin' streamers. Right? I'm thinkin' balloons. 138 00:04:52,877 --> 00:04:56,672 - No streamers, no balloons. That's too little-kiddy. 139 00:04:56,714 --> 00:04:58,632 - Oh, you want like a grown man's birthday party? 140 00:04:58,674 --> 00:05:01,969 - Mm-hm. Oh, and can I have a unicorn cake? 141 00:05:02,345 --> 00:05:03,763 - Yeah, buddy, I can do that. 142 00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:06,766 Like, a red unicorn. Like, a big, black horn 143 00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:08,809 and flames, and body armor. 144 00:05:08,851 --> 00:05:11,645 - Uh, no, a rainbow one. 145 00:05:12,396 --> 00:05:14,482 - Oh. Oh. 146 00:05:15,024 --> 00:05:16,901 I'm so... Yes, of course, of course 147 00:05:16,942 --> 00:05:18,652 you can have a rainbow unicorn, buddy. 148 00:05:18,694 --> 00:05:19,987 Rainbow unicorns are awesome, 149 00:05:20,029 --> 00:05:22,031 and anybody who thinks they're not is an idiot. 150 00:05:22,531 --> 00:05:25,451 We're dealing with an orgy of toxic masculinity conditioning. 151 00:05:25,493 --> 00:05:27,078 It's their problem, not your problem. 152 00:05:27,119 --> 00:05:28,412 - What's orgy? 153 00:05:28,454 --> 00:05:30,998 - Nothin' much, what's orgy with you? 154 00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:32,917 - Huh? - Yeah, that's it. 155 00:05:32,958 --> 00:05:34,835 Come on, you're old enough to get these jokes. 156 00:05:34,877 --> 00:05:36,003 Okay, let's go to school. 157 00:05:36,045 --> 00:05:37,838 Birthday boy's gotta get to school 158 00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:40,091 and talk about something else. - Okay. 159 00:05:40,132 --> 00:05:42,176 - [toys thudding] 160 00:05:50,935 --> 00:05:53,187 - I love blocks. I love blocks. 161 00:05:53,229 --> 00:05:54,605 - Sweetie, sweetie, sweetie. 162 00:05:54,647 --> 00:05:56,565 Can you please play with those on the carpet, please? 163 00:05:56,607 --> 00:05:58,943 - Who knows what I'll do. - ASTRID: Cool. 164 00:05:58,984 --> 00:06:00,236 - [thudding continues] 165 00:06:00,277 --> 00:06:03,697 - NISHA: Hello! - Oh, my God. Finally. 166 00:06:04,365 --> 00:06:05,699 - [screams] 167 00:06:05,991 --> 00:06:07,368 - Mom! What're you doing? 168 00:06:07,410 --> 00:06:09,745 - Well, I'm here to take Viv, like you asked. 169 00:06:09,787 --> 00:06:12,581 - Why're you dressed like a serial killer's mascot? 170 00:06:12,623 --> 00:06:14,083 - Protecting myself. 171 00:06:14,125 --> 00:06:17,628 I have tickets to see Hamilton, and you know I'm a history buff. 172 00:06:17,670 --> 00:06:19,839 So... - I wanna stay here. 173 00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:22,591 - I put plexiglass around your whole car seat. 174 00:06:22,633 --> 00:06:24,427 It's gonna be like a sterile spaceship. 175 00:06:24,468 --> 00:06:26,971 - Mom, can you just stay here and play with Viv? 176 00:06:27,012 --> 00:06:28,681 - In ground zero? No way. 177 00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:30,766 I have waited so long to see this show. 178 00:06:30,808 --> 00:06:32,893 Remember when I thought I had tickets to see 179 00:06:32,935 --> 00:06:34,145 Hamilton in Chicago? 180 00:06:34,186 --> 00:06:35,604 But they turned out to be tickets to see 181 00:06:35,646 --> 00:06:37,398 Chicago in Hamilton? No. 182 00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:40,443 Horrible. - I wanna stay with Mommy. 183 00:06:41,402 --> 00:06:44,613 - All right, fine. Mom, it's okay. You can just go. 184 00:06:44,655 --> 00:06:47,324 - Okay. Well, yeah. That works for me. 185 00:06:47,366 --> 00:06:48,742 Have a hot bath. - Mm-hm. 186 00:06:48,784 --> 00:06:50,453 - Get a good sweat, and you'll feel like a million bucks. 187 00:06:50,494 --> 00:06:52,621 Okay, bye, bye, bye. - Bye. 188 00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:56,375 - Yes, hello. I'm still here. 189 00:06:56,709 --> 00:06:59,253 You do? You have one rainbow unicorn cake left? 190 00:06:59,295 --> 00:07:02,214 And you're sure it's a unicorn and not like, an alacorn? 191 00:07:02,256 --> 00:07:03,549 Or a garbage pegasus? 192 00:07:03,591 --> 00:07:04,884 - PERSON: There's no way. 193 00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:08,137 - You are a lifesaver. I am a cake god. 194 00:07:08,179 --> 00:07:09,472 Can you hold it for me? 195 00:07:09,513 --> 00:07:11,098 - PERSON: No, someone's asking for it now. 196 00:07:11,140 --> 00:07:12,600 - What do you mean? No, no. What do you mean 197 00:07:12,641 --> 00:07:14,018 someone's looking at it? It's mine, it's my cake. 198 00:07:14,059 --> 00:07:16,437 I'm coming right now. Okay? Okay. 199 00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:19,690 [grunts] 200 00:07:20,733 --> 00:07:22,568 - Okay, shit show in the boardroom. 201 00:07:22,610 --> 00:07:24,278 Our avocado supplier just went tits-up 202 00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:26,322 and we need an action plan ASAP, or we're effed. 203 00:07:26,363 --> 00:07:30,242 -Uh, Marla? I just gotta pop out for some food real quick. 204 00:07:30,284 --> 00:07:32,495 - This is a grocery empire, not a goddamn lunch club. 205 00:07:32,536 --> 00:07:34,663 You eat after we put out this fire. 206 00:07:35,456 --> 00:07:36,582 James? 207 00:07:38,751 --> 00:07:40,169 - [coughs] 208 00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:45,549 - VIVIAN: You can both have tea. 209 00:07:45,591 --> 00:07:46,759 Hi, Snoozy. 210 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:49,011 ASTRID: A surprising amount of parenting 211 00:07:49,053 --> 00:07:50,221 is done with your ears. 212 00:07:50,262 --> 00:07:51,639 It's your keener sense. 213 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:53,599 Especially when a cold makes your nose stuffed up, 214 00:07:53,641 --> 00:07:55,392 and your eyeballs ache. 215 00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:56,936 - [clattering] 216 00:07:56,977 --> 00:07:58,979 - Every noise gives you intel. 217 00:07:59,021 --> 00:08:03,192 VIVIAN: Uh-oh. Oh, no. Mommy! 218 00:08:03,234 --> 00:08:06,987 That's little bit... I need to wipe this. 219 00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:13,160 Thank you, Mommy. 220 00:08:13,202 --> 00:08:14,370 And here you go. - [sighs] 221 00:08:14,411 --> 00:08:15,955 - VIVIAN: And here you go, Snoozy. 222 00:08:16,956 --> 00:08:18,332 - [clattering] 223 00:08:18,374 --> 00:08:21,544 - ASTRID: The only thing worse than a crash or screaming, 224 00:08:21,585 --> 00:08:23,712 is dead silence. 225 00:08:25,256 --> 00:08:27,174 What was that? 226 00:08:28,634 --> 00:08:29,385 Viv? 227 00:08:29,885 --> 00:08:33,556 - VIVIAN: I just did jumping jacks, and something broke. 228 00:08:36,141 --> 00:08:37,268 - [door closes] 229 00:08:37,309 --> 00:08:38,978 - [breathing heavily] 230 00:08:40,145 --> 00:08:44,483 - Oh, my God. No. No! 231 00:08:44,525 --> 00:08:46,277 You're gonna die on our son's birthday 232 00:08:46,318 --> 00:08:48,529 and he's gonna grow up so weird. 233 00:08:48,904 --> 00:08:51,156 - You look like a moist zombie. 234 00:08:51,657 --> 00:08:53,450 We need to cancel this birthday party. 235 00:08:53,492 --> 00:08:57,580 - [sighs] Yeah, you're right. We can't... we can't do it. 236 00:08:57,621 --> 00:08:58,872 Why we can't do it? 237 00:08:58,914 --> 00:09:00,583 He'll just have... he'll have two birthdays next year. 238 00:09:00,624 --> 00:09:04,962 - Make it four, we'll just... What else can we cancel? 239 00:09:06,255 --> 00:09:07,673 - Mom? Dad? 240 00:09:08,007 --> 00:09:09,925 - Hey there, little guy. - Hey, there he is, 241 00:09:09,967 --> 00:09:11,844 there's my big, special fella. 242 00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:13,262 - That's a bit over the top. 243 00:09:13,304 --> 00:09:16,098 - I actually do want streamers and balloons at my party. 244 00:09:16,140 --> 00:09:17,725 But camouflage streamers 245 00:09:17,766 --> 00:09:19,852 and balloons that look like bombs. 246 00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:22,605 - Okay, Felix, I'm sorry, buddy, but... 247 00:09:22,938 --> 00:09:25,649 I have some bad news. We can't do your-- 248 00:09:25,691 --> 00:09:29,361 - We can't do them without the camouflage streamers 249 00:09:29,403 --> 00:09:30,904 and the balloon bombs. 250 00:09:30,946 --> 00:09:32,698 - Yes! 251 00:09:35,367 --> 00:09:37,911 - [sighs] My cold bones. 252 00:09:41,624 --> 00:09:42,958 - [Astrid coughs] 253 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:46,128 - [groans] Does oatmeal always look like chunky spit? 254 00:09:46,170 --> 00:09:48,672 - Yeah, that's just the stomach element of the sickness. 255 00:09:48,714 --> 00:09:51,175 But don't worry, there's also "willingness to die" element, 256 00:09:51,216 --> 00:09:52,718 that really takes the edge off. [sniffles] 257 00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:56,138 - Okay, we have to admit that this party is gonna suck. 258 00:09:56,639 --> 00:09:57,890 We just have to survive. 259 00:09:57,931 --> 00:09:59,683 - I don't like our chances. - Okay, what do we... 260 00:09:59,725 --> 00:10:02,770 Should we do something, or... - Yes, yes... 261 00:10:02,811 --> 00:10:06,398 [clears throat] All right. Let's divide and conquer. 262 00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:08,942 I'll start the clean up, you get the birthday cake. 263 00:10:08,984 --> 00:10:11,445 - Right... The cake thing. 264 00:10:11,487 --> 00:10:12,780 It's gonna take a little longer 265 00:10:12,821 --> 00:10:14,156 because I had to use Ronces Crossaintsie. 266 00:10:14,198 --> 00:10:16,241 - What? - I... 267 00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:17,785 Your place didn't have unicorn cakes. 268 00:10:17,826 --> 00:10:19,620 I, you know, I didn't have a choice. 269 00:10:19,662 --> 00:10:21,872 - That place butchers birthday cakes 270 00:10:21,914 --> 00:10:23,207 and murders kid's dreams. 271 00:10:23,248 --> 00:10:25,042 It's their literal business model. 272 00:10:25,084 --> 00:10:28,796 - FELIX: Can I have chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast? 273 00:10:29,213 --> 00:10:30,381 - [whimpers] 274 00:10:30,422 --> 00:10:32,800 - I was hoping he'd wake up sick so we could just cancel. 275 00:10:32,841 --> 00:10:34,301 - I was hoping the same thing. 276 00:10:34,343 --> 00:10:36,261 That's why we make such a good team. 277 00:10:36,303 --> 00:10:37,179 - JAMES: Mm. 278 00:10:37,221 --> 00:10:38,681 - [stomach groans] 279 00:10:38,722 --> 00:10:39,890 - Sorry. 280 00:10:40,766 --> 00:10:42,184 [groans] 281 00:10:45,020 --> 00:10:46,146 - [James coughs] 282 00:10:46,188 --> 00:10:47,690 - Yeah, you can't be in here if you're sick. 283 00:10:47,731 --> 00:10:48,899 - No, no. I'm not-- 284 00:10:48,941 --> 00:10:51,026 I'm just... I'm a smoker and I just smoked 285 00:10:51,068 --> 00:10:52,319 a whole pack of big cigarettes. 286 00:10:52,361 --> 00:10:53,612 - Oh. - [coughs] 287 00:10:53,654 --> 00:10:55,030 What'd you say it would cost? 288 00:10:55,072 --> 00:10:56,448 - $42.75. - Okay. 289 00:10:56,490 --> 00:10:59,201 I wonder what kind of milk, sugar and flour you're using. 290 00:10:59,243 --> 00:11:01,412 I wonder what kind of payment you'll be using. 291 00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:04,164 - Can I just see the cake real quick? 292 00:11:04,206 --> 00:11:05,999 Just to make sure it's a unicorn, you know, 293 00:11:06,041 --> 00:11:08,544 and not like an alacorn, or a stupid pegasus. 294 00:11:08,877 --> 00:11:10,212 - Sure. 295 00:11:13,757 --> 00:11:15,759 - That's a goddamn wizard. 296 00:11:16,635 --> 00:11:17,928 - Louis? - LOUIS: What? 297 00:11:17,970 --> 00:11:19,096 You messed up again. 298 00:11:19,138 --> 00:11:21,807 I need a cake but I refuse to pay for this. 299 00:11:21,849 --> 00:11:23,726 Anyone in here want a wizard cake? 300 00:11:23,767 --> 00:11:25,227 - What color is it? - No, I-- 301 00:11:25,269 --> 00:11:27,813 I'm gonna... It's fine. I'm gonna take it, it's fine. 302 00:11:27,855 --> 00:11:29,815 It's my cake, It's my cake. Sorry. 303 00:11:29,857 --> 00:11:32,067 Can you just... Can you fix it? 304 00:11:32,109 --> 00:11:33,110 - How? 305 00:11:33,152 --> 00:11:36,280 - I don't know, you're the guy who... 306 00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:40,659 Make it like... unicorn. 307 00:11:42,745 --> 00:11:44,747 - [Astrid coughs] 308 00:11:50,794 --> 00:11:52,546 - Mom? - Yeah? 309 00:11:52,838 --> 00:11:56,675 - What does "orgy" mean? - I'm... What, sweetie? 310 00:11:56,717 --> 00:12:00,387 - What's "orgy" mean? - Okay... Mm-hm, mm-hm. 311 00:12:00,429 --> 00:12:02,306 It's when a... Mmm. 312 00:12:02,347 --> 00:12:03,640 It's when a group of people 313 00:12:03,682 --> 00:12:06,769 who are... who are close together, physically, 314 00:12:06,810 --> 00:12:10,731 just have a special and fun time. 315 00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:13,442 - Okay. - Yeah. 316 00:12:13,484 --> 00:12:14,568 -JAMES: I'm home. 317 00:12:14,610 --> 00:12:16,195 - All right, go get ready for your party. 318 00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:19,656 I wanna... I want you to look cute for... [retches] 319 00:12:19,698 --> 00:12:21,325 for your special day. 320 00:12:23,035 --> 00:12:24,828 Is that the cake? 321 00:12:25,287 --> 00:12:27,164 Did we pull this off? 322 00:12:28,874 --> 00:12:30,125 - Not quite. 323 00:12:36,173 --> 00:12:37,341 - Oh, my God. 324 00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:40,093 What happened to that unicorn? Bath salts? 325 00:12:40,135 --> 00:12:41,595 - These ding-dongs gave us a wizard. 326 00:12:41,637 --> 00:12:44,848 - This is why we don't use Ronces Crossaintsie. 327 00:12:44,890 --> 00:12:48,185 - I made 'em fix it. But I paid... I paid extra. 328 00:12:48,227 --> 00:12:50,479 - You paid extra for this? - I promised Felix 329 00:12:50,521 --> 00:12:51,688 a unicorn cake. 330 00:12:51,730 --> 00:12:53,065 I didn't want him to think anything was wrong 331 00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:54,691 with asking for a unicorn cake. 332 00:12:54,733 --> 00:12:56,568 And now I'm understanding the emotional labor 333 00:12:56,610 --> 00:12:59,112 that goes into planning these birthday parties. 334 00:12:59,154 --> 00:13:00,280 And thank you. 335 00:13:00,322 --> 00:13:02,908 Thank you. Thank you for doing it every time. 336 00:13:03,367 --> 00:13:04,910 - That's nice. 337 00:13:05,744 --> 00:13:08,789 I don't... Yeah, this doesn't feel good. 338 00:13:10,374 --> 00:13:12,251 - I feel atrocious. 339 00:13:12,626 --> 00:13:15,170 - ASTRID: Oh, you feel atrocious... 340 00:13:15,796 --> 00:13:17,923 Oh, no. She's burning up. - Okay. 341 00:13:17,965 --> 00:13:21,134 Uh, take Viv upstairs, I'm gonna wipe down every surface. 342 00:13:21,176 --> 00:13:23,637 - Okay, okay. All right, let's go. Come on. 343 00:13:23,679 --> 00:13:24,763 - [Vivian coughing] 344 00:13:24,805 --> 00:13:26,390 - [doorbell rings] 345 00:13:27,683 --> 00:13:29,142 - They're here? 346 00:13:30,227 --> 00:13:31,478 Hey, guys. - PERSON: Hi! 347 00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:33,564 - Come on in, Early bird gets the... 348 00:13:33,605 --> 00:13:35,399 Oh, wrapped in newspaper. - Oh... 349 00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:37,484 - I don't know whether to read it or throw it out. 350 00:13:37,526 --> 00:13:39,778 Just joking. This is really great. 351 00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:40,988 - Ow. 352 00:13:41,029 --> 00:13:41,947 - James. 353 00:13:41,989 --> 00:13:43,615 - He doesn't know what "this" means? 354 00:13:43,657 --> 00:13:45,409 Okay. Sorry, Corey. 355 00:13:45,450 --> 00:13:46,994 - Now, is Astrid okay? 356 00:13:47,035 --> 00:13:48,829 - Yeah. Why... why do you ask? 357 00:13:48,871 --> 00:13:52,082 - She requested the recipe to Bo's immune booster. 358 00:13:52,124 --> 00:13:53,333 - Oh, you know, that-- 359 00:13:53,375 --> 00:13:55,377 She's trying to find the secret ingredient 360 00:13:55,419 --> 00:13:57,379 to your husband's witch juice. 361 00:13:57,880 --> 00:14:00,090 - The insinuation that Bo is a witch, 362 00:14:00,132 --> 00:14:02,885 simply because he accepts health practices 363 00:14:02,926 --> 00:14:04,720 from a large swathe of cultures, 364 00:14:04,761 --> 00:14:06,638 is incredibly ignorant, James. 365 00:14:07,097 --> 00:14:08,724 - Come on, that stuff doesn't really work. 366 00:14:08,765 --> 00:14:10,809 I mean, do you have any on you that I could try? 367 00:14:10,851 --> 00:14:13,353 Like, sarcastically? - Are you okay? 368 00:14:13,687 --> 00:14:17,482 - Yes, I'm tip-top. - You look undead. 369 00:14:18,025 --> 00:14:19,318 - Dracula was undead, 370 00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:21,695 and he was the most amazing person in the world. 371 00:14:21,987 --> 00:14:25,032 - I'll be back in two hours. Try not to hurt Corey. 372 00:14:25,073 --> 00:14:28,744 - Mm, you try not to forget that I really respect 373 00:14:28,785 --> 00:14:30,454 you and your husband very much. 374 00:14:31,038 --> 00:14:32,289 - Bye, Corey. - COREY: Bye, Mom. 375 00:14:32,331 --> 00:14:33,916 - DAWN: Remember, no soda. 376 00:14:33,957 --> 00:14:36,418 - [groans] 377 00:14:52,643 --> 00:14:55,312 - Felix. Come here. 378 00:14:56,563 --> 00:14:57,689 - Yeah? 379 00:14:57,731 --> 00:14:59,191 - Hey, everything okay? You having a good time? 380 00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:01,652 - Yeah, sort of. - Mm-hm. 381 00:15:01,693 --> 00:15:04,988 - Where's Mom? Can she do Dr. Bad Guy? 382 00:15:05,364 --> 00:15:06,490 - Absolutely. 383 00:15:06,823 --> 00:15:08,116 Might take a few minutes, 384 00:15:08,158 --> 00:15:10,077 and maybe a couple of stimulants, but yes. 385 00:15:10,118 --> 00:15:11,578 I have an announcement to make. 386 00:15:11,620 --> 00:15:13,622 I've heard from the Chief of Police 387 00:15:13,664 --> 00:15:15,499 that there's trouble uh-brewing. 388 00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:17,834 So everybody needs to get their bonk bats ready, 389 00:15:17,876 --> 00:15:21,129 because Dr. Bad Guy is in the area. 390 00:15:21,171 --> 00:15:22,422 - [kids exclaim] 391 00:15:22,464 --> 00:15:24,967 - Yeah! - I'm gonna murder something. 392 00:15:25,008 --> 00:15:27,135 - Nope, nope. Nobody's gonna murder anyone, Corey. 393 00:15:27,177 --> 00:15:29,846 But... Good energy, I appreciate you, buddy. 394 00:15:30,305 --> 00:15:34,643 - FELIX: Dad got Dr. Bad Guy! - ALL: Dr. Bad Guy! 395 00:15:36,478 --> 00:15:38,021 What... Is everything okay? 396 00:15:38,063 --> 00:15:40,023 -Yeah, yeah. Better than okay. 397 00:15:40,065 --> 00:15:43,151 - KIDS: Dr. Bad Guy! 398 00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:44,903 - They want Dr. Bad Guy? 399 00:15:44,945 --> 00:15:48,740 - No. Felix wants Dr. Bad Guy. 400 00:15:48,782 --> 00:15:50,075 - [exclaims] 401 00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:51,702 That's so nice. 402 00:15:51,743 --> 00:15:53,745 - JAMES: He needs his Mommy. 403 00:15:54,746 --> 00:15:55,914 - I can't move. 404 00:15:55,956 --> 00:15:57,040 - Look, look, look. 405 00:15:57,082 --> 00:15:58,625 You're amazing at pushing through. 406 00:15:58,667 --> 00:16:00,919 - Mm. - Remember when we drove to BC? 407 00:16:00,961 --> 00:16:03,380 And we were supposed to sleep in the car in Saskatchewan, 408 00:16:03,422 --> 00:16:05,799 and I woke up, and you had driven all the way there. 409 00:16:05,841 --> 00:16:08,093 Because you didn't like how big the sky was. 410 00:16:08,135 --> 00:16:09,636 - We don't need so much sky. 411 00:16:09,678 --> 00:16:11,638 - You conquered a whole province in a night. 412 00:16:12,139 --> 00:16:14,725 You can be Dr. Bad Guy for half an hour. 413 00:16:14,975 --> 00:16:17,644 - [dramatic music playing] 414 00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:21,690 - James, let's do this. 415 00:16:21,732 --> 00:16:22,983 - No, I'm gonna lie down, actually. 416 00:16:23,025 --> 00:16:24,443 Coming up the stairs was very taxing. 417 00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:27,446 And then they gave a speech and everything... 418 00:16:30,949 --> 00:16:32,743 - [dramatic music continues] 419 00:16:52,387 --> 00:16:56,183 - Dr. Bad Guy! Dr. Bad Guy! 420 00:16:56,224 --> 00:17:00,437 Dr. Bad Guy! Dr. Bad Guy! - [groans] 421 00:17:00,479 --> 00:17:01,980 - Dr. Bad Guy! 422 00:17:02,022 --> 00:17:04,357 Dr. Bad... 423 00:17:07,611 --> 00:17:09,112 - [toilet flushes] 424 00:17:09,154 --> 00:17:11,198 - [breathing heavily] 425 00:17:12,866 --> 00:17:14,409 - FELIX: Are you okay? 426 00:17:16,161 --> 00:17:18,705 - Dr. Bad Guy's totally gonna kill you and your friends. 427 00:17:18,747 --> 00:17:20,874 He just needs-- Just one moment. Just... 428 00:17:20,916 --> 00:17:22,793 He's got it, just one moment. 429 00:17:22,834 --> 00:17:25,170 - FELIX: I can be Dr. Bad Guy. 430 00:17:25,587 --> 00:17:26,755 - What? 431 00:17:28,715 --> 00:17:31,259 Oh, sweetie, no. No, no, no. 432 00:17:31,843 --> 00:17:33,512 - Here, it's ginger ale. 433 00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:35,889 It'll make your tummy feel better. 434 00:17:36,848 --> 00:17:38,100 I love you, Mommy. 435 00:17:38,141 --> 00:17:39,684 - [clicks tongue] 436 00:17:41,353 --> 00:17:42,604 - I love you, kiddo. 437 00:17:42,646 --> 00:17:45,315 - Now, if you'll excuse me, 438 00:17:45,357 --> 00:17:48,068 my friends and I are gonna orgy together. 439 00:17:49,277 --> 00:17:50,570 - Nope. 440 00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:52,739 [barfs] 441 00:17:54,616 --> 00:17:58,745 - Dr. Bad Guy! Dr. Bad Guy! 442 00:17:58,787 --> 00:18:00,372 Dr. Bad... 443 00:18:01,164 --> 00:18:04,209 - ASTRID: Kids will bring sickness into your house. 444 00:18:04,251 --> 00:18:06,044 Your family will pass the bug around. 445 00:18:06,086 --> 00:18:07,921 - JAMES: Like a bottle of schnapps and a bush bash. 446 00:18:07,963 --> 00:18:10,674 - ASTRID: We had very different high school experiences. 447 00:18:10,715 --> 00:18:13,176 And when it feels like your body is shutting down, 448 00:18:13,218 --> 00:18:16,429 your kids need you to take care of them, so... 449 00:18:16,471 --> 00:18:17,764 no rest for you. 450 00:18:17,806 --> 00:18:19,474 - JAMES: As they grow, they need you less and less. 451 00:18:19,516 --> 00:18:21,476 Which is fantastic, but also sad. 452 00:18:21,518 --> 00:18:23,645 - ASTRID: Hey! No, let's not get ahead of ourselves. 453 00:18:23,687 --> 00:18:27,065 Nobody's moving out just yet. Still wiping butts around here. 454 00:18:27,107 --> 00:18:30,861 [chuckles] But, yeah. Enjoy being needed while you can. 455 00:18:30,902 --> 00:18:32,445 It goes quick. 456 00:18:36,366 --> 00:18:37,492 - [siren wails] 457 00:18:37,534 --> 00:18:39,327 - Thank you. - Don't worry about it, bud. 458 00:18:39,369 --> 00:18:40,954 - Yeah. Corey totally jumped the gun. 459 00:18:40,996 --> 00:18:43,748 That 911 call? We had that napkin fire under control. 460 00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:46,084 We didn't need-- You're the real hero. 461 00:18:46,126 --> 00:18:47,210 - Thank you so much. 462 00:18:47,252 --> 00:18:48,670 - Should I go hand out the goodie bags? 463 00:18:48,712 --> 00:18:51,256 - Yeah. Do you want my help with that, buddy? 464 00:18:51,298 --> 00:18:52,549 - No, I'm okay. 465 00:18:53,925 --> 00:18:55,844 Hey, guys. Do you want a goodie bag? 466 00:18:55,886 --> 00:18:58,054 - Maybe this new phase isn't so bad after all. 467 00:18:58,096 --> 00:19:01,308 - Yeah, speak of yourself. Love you, Felix! 468 00:19:04,436 --> 00:19:05,478 - What happened? 469 00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:07,814 Corey, what happened? Are you okay? 470 00:19:07,856 --> 00:19:09,024 - Hey, Mom. 471 00:19:09,065 --> 00:19:10,942 - [Dawn exclaiming] 472 00:19:10,984 --> 00:19:13,069 What did you do to my son? 473 00:19:13,904 --> 00:19:16,156 Did he have soda? 474 00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:18,408 So, it's called kava. 475 00:19:18,450 --> 00:19:19,367 K-A-V-A. 476 00:19:19,409 --> 00:19:21,036 - Kava... - Very good. 477 00:19:21,077 --> 00:19:22,746 Now, two tablespoons of manuka honey. 478 00:19:22,787 --> 00:19:25,582 - That's from the animal-- Manuka animal? 479 00:19:25,624 --> 00:19:27,167 - No, no. It's a type of honey. 480 00:19:27,209 --> 00:19:28,960 - From the manu... From a manuka? 481 00:19:29,002 --> 00:19:30,754 - You can go to the store, it says "manuka." 482 00:19:30,795 --> 00:19:31,963 - Okay. - Okay, 483 00:19:32,005 --> 00:19:34,549 one teaspoon of goji berry extract. 484 00:19:34,591 --> 00:19:36,259 Not the powder, the extract. 485 00:19:36,301 --> 00:19:37,677 - No, I would never with the powder. 486 00:19:37,719 --> 00:19:39,721 - Extra virgin... - Yeah, the... 487 00:19:39,763 --> 00:19:41,097 - ...coconut oil. - Okay. 488 00:19:41,139 --> 00:19:42,432 - Okay? -Yep, that's 489 00:19:42,474 --> 00:19:43,808 just an oil from the coconut. 490 00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:46,645 - Right? And then I would add five peppercorns. 491 00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:47,771 - [sighs] 492 00:19:47,812 --> 00:19:49,064 - Three star anise. 493 00:19:49,105 --> 00:19:51,358 - I'm not sure we have the sta-- - It's a spice. It's dry. 494 00:19:51,399 --> 00:19:52,817 - It's called star anise. - Sure. 495 00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:55,904 - One tablespoon of powdered reishi mushrooms. 496 00:19:55,946 --> 00:19:57,072 - Yeah, that's... 497 00:19:57,113 --> 00:19:58,615 I mean, okay, if I just take a mushroom-- 498 00:19:58,657 --> 00:20:00,242 - No, no. It's different, reishi mushrooms. 499 00:20:00,283 --> 00:20:01,952 - No, I can powder a mushroom. I can just-- 500 00:20:01,993 --> 00:20:04,788 - Astragalus is also fine if you can't find powdered reishi. 501 00:20:04,829 --> 00:20:06,248 - I'll... I'll figure the part out. 502 00:20:06,289 --> 00:20:08,750 - Okay. Not dried mushrooms. It has to be powdered. 503 00:20:08,792 --> 00:20:10,543 - Yeah, smash it around, I get it.