1
00:00:01,145 --> 00:00:04,146
[backup alarm beeping]
2
00:00:04,214 --> 00:00:05,914
[car engine idling]
3
00:00:07,184 --> 00:00:09,418
ASTRID: We own a house.
- Mm-hmm.
4
00:00:09,486 --> 00:00:11,053
- This is insane.
5
00:00:11,121 --> 00:00:13,355
- Technically, we own
crippling massive debt.
6
00:00:13,424 --> 00:00:15,357
- That we get to live inside.
- Mm-hmm.
7
00:00:15,426 --> 00:00:17,059
ASTRID: Come on, be excited.
- Oh, I'm very excited,
8
00:00:17,127 --> 00:00:19,094
I'm also just,
like, a little bit hungover.
9
00:00:19,163 --> 00:00:21,797
- Yes, anytime Ennis DJ's,
you go too hard.
10
00:00:21,865 --> 00:00:23,598
- I had to--sold!
- Sold!
11
00:00:23,667 --> 00:00:26,334
But, when this freeloader
gets here, we're probably gonna
12
00:00:26,403 --> 00:00:27,335
have to be homebodies
for a couple of months.
13
00:00:27,404 --> 00:00:29,004
- Yeah, that's true.
- Mm.
14
00:00:29,073 --> 00:00:30,405
- But we can still
host dinner parties.
15
00:00:30,474 --> 00:00:31,840
JAMES: Mm-hmm.
16
00:00:31,909 --> 00:00:34,810
Shall I carry you over
the threshold, my love?
17
00:00:34,878 --> 00:00:36,278
ASTRID: No, I'll just go in.
18
00:00:38,115 --> 00:00:42,317
[gasps] Look at all the space.
Like...
19
00:00:42,386 --> 00:00:43,952
[chuckles]
20
00:00:44,021 --> 00:00:45,554
We finally have a working oven.
21
00:00:45,622 --> 00:00:47,089
- Mm. The question is
22
00:00:47,157 --> 00:00:49,224
what do you want to do
with the spare room, hmm?
23
00:00:49,293 --> 00:00:50,826
JAMES: Before your first
baby, you have a certain
24
00:00:50,894 --> 00:00:52,527
naïve optimism
about parenthood.
25
00:00:52,596 --> 00:00:53,662
You think you can anticipate
26
00:00:53,730 --> 00:00:55,597
what your new life
will be like.
27
00:00:55,666 --> 00:00:57,299
ASTRID: But, like the size
of the universe,
28
00:00:57,367 --> 00:01:00,001
or pushing a turkey
through a lime-sized hole,
29
00:01:00,070 --> 00:01:01,670
some things are hard
to imagine.
30
00:01:01,738 --> 00:01:03,738
JAMES: So you make plans,
blissfully unaware
31
00:01:03,807 --> 00:01:05,507
of how things
are going to change.
32
00:01:05,576 --> 00:01:06,842
- Well, the first thing
is we need to prepare
33
00:01:06,910 --> 00:01:08,076
- for the homebirth.
- Mm-hmm.
34
00:01:08,145 --> 00:01:09,244
- I don't care if the rest
of this place
35
00:01:09,313 --> 00:01:11,580
looks like a stadium bathroom
at intermission,
36
00:01:11,648 --> 00:01:14,483
I need that room
to feel just so peaceful
37
00:01:14,551 --> 00:01:17,352
and serene and...
38
00:01:17,421 --> 00:01:19,955
I just want him or her
to come into this world
39
00:01:20,023 --> 00:01:22,057
and feel...
- [baby crying]
40
00:01:22,126 --> 00:01:23,492
- Is that next door?
- Yeah, I don't know.
41
00:01:23,560 --> 00:01:24,659
It feels too loud
to be next door.
42
00:01:24,728 --> 00:01:26,328
- I can't remember
what I was saying.
43
00:01:26,396 --> 00:01:28,797
- Uh, um, uh, your, um,
you giving birth.
44
00:01:28,866 --> 00:01:29,898
- Thank you. Yes.
- Mm-hmm.
45
00:01:29,967 --> 00:01:31,967
- I just--I want this baby
to feel welcome.
46
00:01:32,035 --> 00:01:33,068
- Mm-hmm.
- And--I'm sorry.
47
00:01:33,137 --> 00:01:34,436
- Yes.
- If there's a window open,
48
00:01:34,505 --> 00:01:35,537
we have to close it.
49
00:01:35,606 --> 00:01:36,972
JAMES:
I'm gonna check this side.
50
00:01:37,040 --> 00:01:39,875
- [baby crying]
51
00:01:41,845 --> 00:01:44,546
- Oh, oh, oh, hey, hey,
uh, can I help you not
52
00:01:44,615 --> 00:01:46,548
exert your body too much?
- I'm not exerting myself.
53
00:01:46,617 --> 00:01:49,284
I'm just making this room
ready for a beautiful birth.
54
00:01:49,353 --> 00:01:50,752
- I think--I think maybe
that's, enough of that.
55
00:01:50,821 --> 00:01:53,688
Why don't you just tell me
what you need done around here?
56
00:01:53,757 --> 00:01:55,357
- The sockets on this wall
don't work.
57
00:01:55,425 --> 00:01:56,558
- Mm-hmm.
- And we still don't have
58
00:01:56,627 --> 00:01:58,860
hot water.
59
00:01:58,929 --> 00:02:01,263
- Mm-hmm.
- You could help me
60
00:02:01,331 --> 00:02:02,697
drag this box across the floor.
61
00:02:02,766 --> 00:02:04,499
- Yes. I will drag a box
to the ends of the earth
62
00:02:04,568 --> 00:02:06,067
for you, my love.
- Okay.
63
00:02:06,136 --> 00:02:07,936
TAYLOR: Right on, holy crap.
64
00:02:08,005 --> 00:02:10,071
JAMES: Oh, that's Taylor.
My brother will help us.
65
00:02:10,140 --> 00:02:11,506
Taylor, up here!
- Oh.
66
00:02:11,575 --> 00:02:13,475
- He's gonna fix everything.
- Okay.
67
00:02:13,544 --> 00:02:15,844
- There he is. Yup.
- There he is.
68
00:02:15,913 --> 00:02:17,579
- Yeah, yeah, yeah,
how was the drive?
69
00:02:17,648 --> 00:02:19,581
- Oh, not too bad,
until I got to the city,
70
00:02:19,650 --> 00:02:21,483
where everyone drives
like an idiot.
71
00:02:21,552 --> 00:02:22,984
- Hi, Taylor.
- Oh, take it easy
72
00:02:23,053 --> 00:02:24,953
on the donuts there, officer.
73
00:02:25,022 --> 00:02:26,821
- [chuckles]
74
00:02:26,890 --> 00:02:29,758
- Uh... look it--I'm not gonna
go buck wild with the, uh,
75
00:02:29,826 --> 00:02:31,493
spray foam
in the basement there.
76
00:02:31,562 --> 00:02:32,961
- All right. Sounds like
you could use
77
00:02:33,030 --> 00:02:34,763
a little bit of supervision
down there, eh?
78
00:02:34,831 --> 00:02:36,865
- Well, you could supervise
a six-pack from the beer store.
79
00:02:36,934 --> 00:02:38,700
- Right on.
- Right on.
80
00:02:38,769 --> 00:02:40,635
I'm gonna go to Dawn's
and pick something up
81
00:02:40,704 --> 00:02:42,804
and then I'm gonna meet the
midwife, so I'll see you later?
82
00:02:42,873 --> 00:02:44,606
- Okay. That sounds good.
83
00:02:45,976 --> 00:02:48,109
TAYLOR: Right on.
84
00:02:48,178 --> 00:02:50,312
Midwife? Is that like
another half wife?
85
00:02:51,548 --> 00:02:53,281
How'd you manage that?
86
00:02:54,251 --> 00:02:55,750
ASTRID: Dawn?
87
00:02:55,819 --> 00:02:57,352
NISHA: Just a second.
88
00:02:58,689 --> 00:03:01,056
- Mom? What are you doing here?
89
00:03:01,124 --> 00:03:02,591
Baby shower. [gasps]
90
00:03:02,659 --> 00:03:03,925
- That's not for you.
91
00:03:03,994 --> 00:03:05,760
- [Astrid screams]
- [sighs]
92
00:03:05,829 --> 00:03:06,962
- I was wondering
when this was gonna happen.
93
00:03:07,030 --> 00:03:08,330
- I've been waiting
for you to tell me
94
00:03:08,398 --> 00:03:10,799
if it's a boy or a girl.
- Mom, we don't know.
95
00:03:10,867 --> 00:03:12,701
It's gonna be a baby.
Isn't that enough?
96
00:03:12,769 --> 00:03:14,703
- I had to buy
yellow baby clothes.
97
00:03:14,771 --> 00:03:16,404
Yellow. I hope you're happy.
98
00:03:16,473 --> 00:03:18,740
- Yes, I'm very happy.
I love free stuff.
99
00:03:18,809 --> 00:03:20,475
Is Dawn here?
- No, she had to take
100
00:03:20,544 --> 00:03:21,810
Corey to a music lesson.
101
00:03:21,878 --> 00:03:24,379
Imagine a baby singing?
102
00:03:24,448 --> 00:03:26,181
- Um, she has that
maroon blanket
103
00:03:26,250 --> 00:03:27,449
that we had
when we were kids
104
00:03:27,517 --> 00:03:28,717
and I'd love to use it
for the home birth.
105
00:03:28,785 --> 00:03:30,819
- Home birth.
You're gonna have your baby
106
00:03:30,887 --> 00:03:33,121
on an old blanket
like a golden retriever?
107
00:03:33,190 --> 00:03:35,790
They have clean sheets
at the hospital, FYI.
108
00:03:35,859 --> 00:03:37,859
- Mom, you know giving birth
predates hospitals, right?
109
00:03:37,928 --> 00:03:40,562
- Yeah, well, you know what
else predates hospitals?
110
00:03:40,631 --> 00:03:43,231
Dying from accidents.
111
00:03:43,300 --> 00:03:44,799
All right.
The shower's at 2:00.
112
00:03:44,868 --> 00:03:46,501
Get out of here before you spoil
everything for Dawn.
113
00:03:46,570 --> 00:03:48,336
You know how she loves
surprises.
114
00:03:48,405 --> 00:03:50,905
- Isn't the surprise for me?
115
00:03:50,974 --> 00:03:53,341
- It's for your daughter.
116
00:03:53,410 --> 00:03:54,876
- We don't know.
117
00:03:54,945 --> 00:03:56,311
So we actually--
118
00:03:56,380 --> 00:03:57,879
we actually don't know.
119
00:03:59,583 --> 00:04:00,715
- Yellow.
120
00:04:01,818 --> 00:04:02,851
- Hey.
- Hey.
121
00:04:02,919 --> 00:04:05,487
- Expert opinion,
how awesome is my house?
122
00:04:05,555 --> 00:04:07,155
- It's a dump.
- It's a--it's a...
123
00:04:07,224 --> 00:04:08,523
- Yeah, the breaker box
is a mess,
124
00:04:08,592 --> 00:04:12,260
the roof's derpy, and only
one bathroom? Stupid.
125
00:04:12,329 --> 00:04:13,695
- Yeah.
126
00:04:13,764 --> 00:04:15,830
I guess I would love
another bathroom down here
127
00:04:15,899 --> 00:04:18,667
so I could, uh, you know,
throw up right now.
128
00:04:18,735 --> 00:04:21,936
- Whatever, Trevor, you got
four walls and the big smoke.
129
00:04:22,005 --> 00:04:24,306
Houses like this are just
gonna increase in value.
130
00:04:24,374 --> 00:04:26,141
- You're fine.
- It can't happen forever.
131
00:04:26,209 --> 00:04:28,009
I mean, then no one
will be able to afford a house.
132
00:04:28,078 --> 00:04:29,911
- Well, exactly.
That's why we should
133
00:04:29,980 --> 00:04:32,714
put all our money into this.
134
00:04:34,084 --> 00:04:35,116
- It's an empty field.
135
00:04:35,185 --> 00:04:36,451
- It can be our empty field.
136
00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:39,554
- Remember the dream?
- Oh, your subdivision thing?
137
00:04:39,623 --> 00:04:40,622
- This is the perfect spot
for it.
138
00:04:40,691 --> 00:04:41,990
Look, look, look.
139
00:04:42,059 --> 00:04:44,292
I'll hire the crews.
I'll manage the sites.
140
00:04:44,361 --> 00:04:45,393
You source materials,
141
00:04:45,462 --> 00:04:47,329
do all that nerdy
number stuff, together,
142
00:04:47,397 --> 00:04:49,331
we'll slap up
as many house as we can
143
00:04:49,399 --> 00:04:50,765
legally cram in there and,
144
00:04:50,834 --> 00:04:52,067
bam, millionaires, bud.
145
00:04:52,135 --> 00:04:53,134
- You still wanna do that, eh?
146
00:04:53,203 --> 00:04:54,135
- Hell, yeah!
147
00:04:54,204 --> 00:04:55,270
When Dad died,
148
00:04:55,339 --> 00:04:56,871
I spent a long time
fixing up the house,
149
00:04:56,940 --> 00:04:58,006
getting it ready for sale.
150
00:04:58,075 --> 00:04:59,341
I loved it, bud.
151
00:04:59,409 --> 00:05:01,242
Loved it. I'm my own boss.
152
00:05:01,311 --> 00:05:02,577
You got to give that a try.
153
00:05:02,646 --> 00:05:05,213
Ooh, wait,
saved you something here.
154
00:05:07,451 --> 00:05:08,616
- Oh, my God.
155
00:05:08,685 --> 00:05:10,985
Oh my, the secret socket.
156
00:05:11,054 --> 00:05:13,288
Everything we plugged in
turned to magic.
157
00:05:13,357 --> 00:05:15,123
- Had razors put hair
on your face...
158
00:05:15,192 --> 00:05:16,558
- Yeah.
- ...and the stereo made Mom
159
00:05:16,626 --> 00:05:17,959
stop yelling.
160
00:05:18,028 --> 00:05:18,927
- Mostly because we're...
- Because we're...
161
00:05:18,995 --> 00:05:20,662
- Metallica.
- Metallica. Yeah.
162
00:05:20,731 --> 00:05:21,496
- Well, I saved it
from the house.
163
00:05:21,565 --> 00:05:23,064
Thought you might wanna put it
164
00:05:23,133 --> 00:05:24,432
in your kid's room.
165
00:05:26,036 --> 00:05:29,337
All right, look, do you wanna go
see this field or what?
166
00:05:31,508 --> 00:05:33,475
- Yeah. Let's do it.
All right. Let's do it.
167
00:05:33,543 --> 00:05:34,509
Let's do it, bud.
All right.
168
00:05:34,578 --> 00:05:36,177
Uh, I got to pick up
a check first.
169
00:05:36,246 --> 00:05:37,779
- Right on.
- All right. Right on.
170
00:05:37,848 --> 00:05:39,848
- [both imitating
electric guitars]
171
00:05:39,916 --> 00:05:41,015
- All right.
172
00:05:41,084 --> 00:05:42,784
[knocks on door]
173
00:05:42,853 --> 00:05:44,519
- Hey, Mr. Jones?
174
00:05:52,963 --> 00:05:54,763
MARLA: Can I help you?
- Hey, hi. I'm just--sorry.
175
00:05:54,831 --> 00:05:57,565
- I was looking for Mr. Jones?
- I'm the new Mr. Jones.
176
00:05:57,634 --> 00:05:59,968
The old one didn't have a spine
or allies in the company.
177
00:06:00,036 --> 00:06:01,703
- Ah. Good riddance.
178
00:06:01,772 --> 00:06:02,971
I'm just joking.
I don't give a care.
179
00:06:03,039 --> 00:06:03,938
I was a temp here.
180
00:06:04,007 --> 00:06:06,341
And I just came
for my last check.
181
00:06:06,410 --> 00:06:07,175
- Your last check
182
00:06:07,244 --> 00:06:09,911
or your first of many to come?
183
00:06:09,980 --> 00:06:10,945
- Hmm.
184
00:06:11,014 --> 00:06:12,013
- Have a seat, James.
185
00:06:12,082 --> 00:06:13,748
- You know my name.
186
00:06:13,817 --> 00:06:16,584
- I'm helping the VP
of distribution build an A-team
187
00:06:16,653 --> 00:06:18,486
and I could use
a hard worker like you
188
00:06:18,555 --> 00:06:19,921
who has no existing loyalties.
189
00:06:19,990 --> 00:06:23,358
- Uh, well, that sounds weird.
But I, uh...
190
00:06:23,427 --> 00:06:25,160
- I am starting my own business.
- What business?
191
00:06:25,228 --> 00:06:27,629
- Oh, my brother and I
grew up in a small town--
192
00:06:27,697 --> 00:06:29,464
- Skip that part.
JAMES: Subdivision homes,
193
00:06:29,533 --> 00:06:31,132
it's something we've been
dreaming about.
194
00:06:31,201 --> 00:06:32,667
- That's not you.
You're not a dreamer.
195
00:06:32,736 --> 00:06:33,435
- I'm sorry?
196
00:06:33,503 --> 00:06:34,869
- You're more of a doer.
197
00:06:34,938 --> 00:06:36,104
And a fledgling grocery chain
198
00:06:36,173 --> 00:06:39,040
is a place of chaos
and opportunity for doers
199
00:06:39,109 --> 00:06:41,042
to get their hands dirty.
200
00:06:41,111 --> 00:06:43,378
I smell dirty hands, James.
- No, no, just used
201
00:06:43,447 --> 00:06:45,213
the vanilla lotion
in the staff bathroom.
202
00:06:45,282 --> 00:06:46,548
These guys smell
like soft serve.
203
00:06:46,616 --> 00:06:47,682
So, if I could just get
that last check?
204
00:06:47,751 --> 00:06:50,251
- We offer stability
and great benefits.
205
00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:53,288
Something an expectant father
might need.
206
00:06:53,356 --> 00:06:54,556
- Wait. Okay, seriously,
207
00:06:54,624 --> 00:06:56,057
how do you know that?
208
00:06:56,126 --> 00:06:58,393
- Oh, we own any email
or internet searches
209
00:06:58,462 --> 00:07:01,229
you make on company computers.
210
00:07:01,298 --> 00:07:03,398
You have 48 hours
211
00:07:03,467 --> 00:07:04,432
to decide your fate.
212
00:07:04,501 --> 00:07:06,434
- Thank you very much.
213
00:07:07,771 --> 00:07:08,937
- Forty-eight hours.
JAMES: Okay.
214
00:07:09,005 --> 00:07:10,138
[upbeat music playing]
215
00:07:10,207 --> 00:07:11,906
[laughter]
216
00:07:13,610 --> 00:07:16,211
SINGER: ♪ Baby, baby
baby, baby, baby... ♪
217
00:07:16,279 --> 00:07:17,679
[laughter]
218
00:07:17,747 --> 00:07:20,748
- So how excited were you?
219
00:07:20,817 --> 00:07:22,984
- I'm still trying
to catch my breath.
220
00:07:23,053 --> 00:07:25,119
- Oh, I love a good surprise.
221
00:07:25,188 --> 00:07:26,521
I was so worried
I was gonna spoil it
222
00:07:26,590 --> 00:07:28,256
and I have enough stress
right now.
223
00:07:28,325 --> 00:07:29,958
- Oh, is baby Corey a handful?
224
00:07:30,026 --> 00:07:30,959
- Oh, no. He's perfect.
225
00:07:31,027 --> 00:07:33,061
Hundredth percentile
for empathy.
226
00:07:33,129 --> 00:07:34,429
It's my work.
227
00:07:34,498 --> 00:07:36,231
They want me to fire someone.
228
00:07:36,299 --> 00:07:38,500
- Well, just tell Mom he's fired
and that it's a secret.
229
00:07:38,568 --> 00:07:39,767
She'll do the rest.
230
00:07:39,836 --> 00:07:41,169
DAWN: What?
231
00:07:41,238 --> 00:07:42,537
- Who wants to guess
232
00:07:42,606 --> 00:07:44,906
what kind of chocolate bar
this is?
233
00:07:44,975 --> 00:07:46,074
- Oh, I'm in.
234
00:07:46,142 --> 00:07:48,243
- Hey, Mom.
Are any of my friends coming?
235
00:07:48,311 --> 00:07:51,145
- Not everything
is about you, Beta.
236
00:07:51,214 --> 00:07:53,815
- What is it?
- Hey, congratulations.
237
00:07:53,884 --> 00:07:55,083
ASTRID: Oh, thanks, Bo.
238
00:07:55,151 --> 00:07:56,284
I mean, I haven't had
the baby yet, but...
239
00:07:56,353 --> 00:07:59,020
- Yeah, I heard your finances
came through,
240
00:07:59,089 --> 00:08:01,155
you old piece of crap.
241
00:08:02,192 --> 00:08:04,125
Who are your vendors?
242
00:08:04,194 --> 00:08:06,861
No way. You bastard.
243
00:08:06,930 --> 00:08:10,064
[laughing]
244
00:08:10,133 --> 00:08:11,432
No. No way.
- Tell us, Astrid.
245
00:08:11,501 --> 00:08:13,535
At what hospital
will you be delivering?
246
00:08:13,603 --> 00:08:15,236
- I'm--I'm actually
doing a homebirth.
247
00:08:15,305 --> 00:08:17,305
- [Bo laughing]
248
00:08:17,374 --> 00:08:19,340
- What if something goes wrong?
249
00:08:19,409 --> 00:08:22,477
Or a burglar breaks in?
- To my vagina?
250
00:08:22,546 --> 00:08:25,246
- It's not too late to have
your baby at the hospital, Beta,
251
00:08:25,315 --> 00:08:27,215
the smart, safe, clean way.
252
00:08:27,284 --> 00:08:29,450
- I'm sorry.
Is this an intervention?
253
00:08:29,519 --> 00:08:31,119
- I see both sides.
254
00:08:31,187 --> 00:08:33,855
The hospital is cleaner
and safer.
255
00:08:33,924 --> 00:08:36,724
But your home feels more worn in
and comfortable,
256
00:08:36,793 --> 00:08:37,792
like an old slipper.
257
00:08:37,861 --> 00:08:39,661
- My home is totally safe
258
00:08:39,729 --> 00:08:40,862
and beautiful and serene.
259
00:08:40,931 --> 00:08:42,897
And, yes, we have wood rot
in the back porch.
260
00:08:42,966 --> 00:08:45,033
But we're having our baby
the way we wanna have our baby.
261
00:08:45,101 --> 00:08:46,701
And if you don't like it,
262
00:08:46,770 --> 00:08:49,337
don't be involved.
263
00:08:49,406 --> 00:08:51,272
DAWN: Oh, do you need...
264
00:08:51,341 --> 00:08:53,875
- Yes, I know. I'm just trying
to storm out.
265
00:08:53,944 --> 00:08:55,944
There.
Goodbye.
266
00:09:00,817 --> 00:09:02,216
- It's even emptier
than the photos.
267
00:09:02,285 --> 00:09:04,419
- Right? We can put 40,
50 houses in here easy.
268
00:09:04,487 --> 00:09:06,387
- Yeah.
- Why is it for sale?
269
00:09:06,456 --> 00:09:07,655
- Some idiot wanted to build
270
00:09:07,724 --> 00:09:09,591
a Jason Bourne theme park.
271
00:09:09,659 --> 00:09:10,925
- Where you
and your family have to piece
272
00:09:10,994 --> 00:09:12,427
together why you're there?
273
00:09:12,495 --> 00:09:14,462
- I didn't see the movies.
Too, uh, thinky.
274
00:09:14,531 --> 00:09:16,097
Anyway, I guess it fell through
275
00:09:16,166 --> 00:09:18,433
and we're next in line
but we got to move on it.
276
00:09:18,501 --> 00:09:20,335
- What's radon?
277
00:09:20,403 --> 00:09:23,104
It says elevated levels
of radon thing.
278
00:09:23,173 --> 00:09:24,572
- What's that?
- It's nothing.
279
00:09:24,641 --> 00:09:25,707
I deal with it all the time.
280
00:09:25,775 --> 00:09:28,076
- What is it though?
- Just radioactive gas.
281
00:09:28,144 --> 00:09:30,411
- It's-it's-it's...
- Don't go getting James on me.
282
00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:32,246
- ...radioactive gas?
283
00:09:32,315 --> 00:09:33,448
- You know what else
is radioactive?
284
00:09:33,516 --> 00:09:35,617
Bananas, did you know that?
No, you didn't.
285
00:09:35,685 --> 00:09:37,619
Lots of stuff
is radioactive, James.
286
00:09:37,687 --> 00:09:38,686
It's not enough
to make you sick,
287
00:09:38,755 --> 00:09:40,488
but it's enough
to lower the price.
288
00:09:40,557 --> 00:09:42,590
Look. I got my half
of Dad's house money
289
00:09:42,659 --> 00:09:44,325
ready to put down.
290
00:09:44,394 --> 00:09:46,394
- Well, my half is stuck
in my derpy house.
291
00:09:46,463 --> 00:09:47,428
- It's a cash cow.
I already told you.
292
00:09:47,497 --> 00:09:49,130
You just got
to borrow against it.
293
00:09:49,199 --> 00:09:50,732
- I got to talk to Astrid.
294
00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:52,567
- Why? It's your money
from Dad's house.
295
00:09:52,636 --> 00:09:55,403
Look, you and me...
296
00:09:55,472 --> 00:09:56,771
we make a good team, bud.
297
00:09:56,840 --> 00:09:58,373
You and me...
298
00:09:58,441 --> 00:10:00,074
this is gonna set you up.
299
00:10:00,143 --> 00:10:02,043
It's gonna set your kid up.
300
00:10:02,112 --> 00:10:03,378
We can make this happen.
301
00:10:04,648 --> 00:10:05,913
You got to jump with me.
302
00:10:07,283 --> 00:10:10,051
You ready to jump with me?
303
00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:11,986
Uh-oh.
304
00:10:12,055 --> 00:10:13,221
Come on.
305
00:10:13,289 --> 00:10:14,722
Let's do some jumping.
306
00:10:16,993 --> 00:10:18,359
- Yeah!
- Yeah.
307
00:10:18,428 --> 00:10:21,663
Heck yeah! Great, man.
308
00:10:21,731 --> 00:10:23,431
- Did you say "right on"
or "radon?"
309
00:10:23,500 --> 00:10:24,632
- Ha!
310
00:10:29,639 --> 00:10:33,408
- Hey. You need any help
smashing stuff?
311
00:10:33,476 --> 00:10:35,343
- It's gonna be the most
frickin' beautiful birth ever.
312
00:10:35,412 --> 00:10:37,845
- Yeah, I can feel
the soothing energy right now.
313
00:10:37,914 --> 00:10:39,781
- This baby is gonna swim out
into this beautiful pool
314
00:10:39,849 --> 00:10:41,049
and love us so freakin' much
315
00:10:41,117 --> 00:10:42,984
because we are never gonna judge
his or her choices.
316
00:10:43,053 --> 00:10:44,252
- I agree.
317
00:10:44,320 --> 00:10:45,653
- [sighs]
318
00:10:47,424 --> 00:10:48,823
Thanks for always
having my back.
319
00:10:48,892 --> 00:10:50,458
- Mm-hmm.
- Smoothie tastes like shirts.
320
00:10:50,527 --> 00:10:52,060
- Yeah, that's the Swiss chard.
321
00:10:52,128 --> 00:10:54,662
It's actually masking
a bunch of worse tastes.
322
00:10:54,731 --> 00:10:57,265
- I hope this baby
inherits your kindness.
323
00:10:57,333 --> 00:10:58,800
- Hmm.
324
00:10:58,868 --> 00:11:02,036
I hope they inherit
your parallel parking skills.
325
00:11:02,105 --> 00:11:04,172
And also your heart.
326
00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:05,440
Do you know what radon is?
327
00:11:05,508 --> 00:11:07,075
- Oh, kicks.
328
00:11:07,143 --> 00:11:08,943
ASTRID: When you're pregnant,
you don't really know
329
00:11:09,012 --> 00:11:10,445
who or what you're in for.
330
00:11:10,513 --> 00:11:12,647
JAMES: It's like an app
that you download for free
331
00:11:12,716 --> 00:11:14,916
only to find that
it has in-app purchases
332
00:11:14,984 --> 00:11:16,718
and a lifetime
subscription fee.
333
00:11:16,786 --> 00:11:17,985
ASTRID: You skip over
the terms and conditions
334
00:11:18,054 --> 00:11:19,620
because you're excited
for the app
335
00:11:19,689 --> 00:11:22,156
but later on, you're shocked
by what you've agreed to.
336
00:11:22,225 --> 00:11:24,258
JAMES: And as the app ages,
it just takes up more
337
00:11:24,327 --> 00:11:25,960
and more space
until it threatens
338
00:11:26,029 --> 00:11:27,361
to destroy your whole
operating system.
339
00:11:27,430 --> 00:11:29,263
ASTRID: But somehow,
it still won't stop you
340
00:11:29,332 --> 00:11:30,932
from downloading
another one.
341
00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:34,168
JAMES: Yup. What?
Did you say, uh, another one?
342
00:11:34,237 --> 00:11:35,570
How great are we? Hmm?
343
00:11:35,638 --> 00:11:38,172
Can you believe there's gonna
be three of us soon?
344
00:11:38,241 --> 00:11:40,408
I think it's the perfect number.
345
00:11:40,477 --> 00:11:41,609
- Hmm.
346
00:11:45,048 --> 00:11:46,247
- [woman groans]
347
00:11:48,818 --> 00:11:50,418
- Hello.
- Oh, hi.
348
00:11:50,487 --> 00:11:52,386
I didn't realize you're
already moved in.
349
00:11:52,455 --> 00:11:53,588
[grunts]
350
00:11:53,656 --> 00:11:55,223
I've been using your bin
for the last month
351
00:11:55,291 --> 00:11:56,991
for my extra garbage.
[glasses shatter]
352
00:11:57,060 --> 00:11:58,059
- You just put that
in recycling.
353
00:11:58,128 --> 00:11:59,393
- Pretty sure
the city sorts it out.
354
00:11:59,462 --> 00:12:02,864
- Nope. [chuckles]
- Don't give birth about it.
355
00:12:04,434 --> 00:12:06,200
- Oh, are you, uh,
356
00:12:06,269 --> 00:12:07,568
delivering at St. Joe's?
357
00:12:07,637 --> 00:12:09,604
- Oh, no, homebirth.
358
00:12:09,672 --> 00:12:10,538
- Oh.
359
00:12:10,607 --> 00:12:12,473
- Yeah, I don't trust doctors.
360
00:12:12,542 --> 00:12:14,041
They're all like,
"Don't drink coffee
361
00:12:14,110 --> 00:12:15,176
and don't go in a hot tub
and don't eat soft cheese."
362
00:12:15,245 --> 00:12:18,813
Like get your hands off my body,
the government.
363
00:12:18,882 --> 00:12:21,182
- Wow.
- Homebirth is fine.
364
00:12:21,251 --> 00:12:22,984
- Yes, exactly. Thank you.
WOMAN: Yeah,
365
00:12:23,052 --> 00:12:24,786
unless you hemorrhage,
366
00:12:24,854 --> 00:12:26,154
or your baby's breech,
367
00:12:26,222 --> 00:12:28,189
or you're just--your midwife
gets into a car accident
368
00:12:28,258 --> 00:12:31,259
or you hit your head and then go
unconscious, you know.
369
00:12:31,327 --> 00:12:32,360
[siren wails]
370
00:12:32,428 --> 00:12:33,861
I've already had two
at home though,
371
00:12:33,930 --> 00:12:35,863
so it was fine.
- Right.
372
00:12:35,932 --> 00:12:37,865
- Cooper! Wait for Mommy.
373
00:12:37,934 --> 00:12:40,067
COOPER: Okay.
- Yeah.
374
00:12:41,871 --> 00:12:43,704
- James?
- Hello.
375
00:12:43,773 --> 00:12:45,306
- [laughs]
376
00:12:45,375 --> 00:12:47,074
- I know.
- This is cray-cray.
377
00:12:47,143 --> 00:12:48,276
- Yeah. I--
- You got your own place.
378
00:12:48,344 --> 00:12:49,811
- Yeah, I don't know
what's going on.
379
00:12:49,879 --> 00:12:51,045
Seriously.
You know how often
380
00:12:51,114 --> 00:12:52,747
I'm gonna come by here
and just pass out?
381
00:12:52,816 --> 00:12:53,781
- I got you a gift.
- Oh. Oh, my God.
382
00:12:53,850 --> 00:12:55,883
- A PS4, man?
ENNIS: Uh, actually,
383
00:12:55,952 --> 00:12:57,985
it's, uh, my old PS3 in the box
384
00:12:58,054 --> 00:13:00,922
for my new PS4 that I just got
to go with my 3DTV.
385
00:13:00,990 --> 00:13:02,323
- Quick question,
how much does a DJ make?
386
00:13:02,392 --> 00:13:04,325
- Ah, mostly we get paid
in drink tickets
387
00:13:04,394 --> 00:13:06,460
and life experience.
- So your dad paid for all that?
388
00:13:06,529 --> 00:13:08,729
- Yeah, my dad's trying
to bribe me to stop DJing.
389
00:13:08,798 --> 00:13:11,199
He's threatening to cut me off
with just the condo
390
00:13:11,267 --> 00:13:13,167
and the stock options
if I don't have a business plan.
391
00:13:13,236 --> 00:13:14,802
- Hmm.
Really cracking that whip.
392
00:13:14,871 --> 00:13:15,937
- Yeah, but I have
a business plan.
393
00:13:16,005 --> 00:13:18,472
Five nights a week,
bartending at Insomnia,
394
00:13:18,541 --> 00:13:21,142
plus I teach a scratching class
at the Learning Annex.
395
00:13:21,211 --> 00:13:23,711
Business planned.
- I gotta business plan too,
396
00:13:23,780 --> 00:13:25,580
with my brother, though,
it's not gonna make any money
397
00:13:25,648 --> 00:13:27,348
for the first few years
and honestly,
398
00:13:27,417 --> 00:13:29,116
I'm not sure it's ever gonna
make any money
399
00:13:29,185 --> 00:13:30,618
and I have a baby coming.
400
00:13:30,687 --> 00:13:32,353
- Oh, hey, hey, hey, hey,
401
00:13:32,422 --> 00:13:33,588
you know what you just did?
JAMES: Mm-hmm?
402
00:13:33,656 --> 00:13:36,858
- You just described
every great success story.
403
00:13:38,628 --> 00:13:39,694
And failure, I guess.
404
00:13:39,762 --> 00:13:41,362
You really covered
a lot of ground there.
405
00:13:41,431 --> 00:13:43,264
- [grunts] I don't know
what I'm doing.
406
00:13:43,333 --> 00:13:45,199
Maybe we shouldn't be
making plans
407
00:13:45,268 --> 00:13:49,370
where it's 50% chance
of it going well.
408
00:13:49,439 --> 00:13:52,840
Maybe we should just start
playing it safe, you know?
409
00:13:52,909 --> 00:13:54,275
We should grow up.
410
00:13:54,344 --> 00:13:56,711
SINGER: ♪ It's not... ♪
411
00:13:57,914 --> 00:14:00,648
♪ What you thought ♪
412
00:14:02,085 --> 00:14:07,321
♪ When you first began it ♪
413
00:14:09,259 --> 00:14:12,026
♪ You got... ♪
414
00:14:12,996 --> 00:14:16,864
♪ What you want ♪
415
00:14:16,933 --> 00:14:21,602
♪ Now you can hardly stand it ♪
- [laughing]
416
00:14:21,671 --> 00:14:24,338
♪ Though by now you know ♪
417
00:14:24,407 --> 00:14:29,610
♪ It's not going to stop ♪
418
00:14:31,481 --> 00:14:36,784
- ♪ It's not going to stop ♪
- [woman groans]
419
00:14:39,155 --> 00:14:41,155
SINGER: ♪ It's not... ♪
420
00:14:41,224 --> 00:14:44,759
- ♪ Going to stop ♪
SINGER: ♪ Going to stop ♪
421
00:14:44,827 --> 00:14:47,929
SINGER: ♪ Till you wise up ♪
- ♪ Till you wise up ♪
422
00:14:47,997 --> 00:14:49,931
♪ No, it's not... ♪
SINGER: ♪ No, it's not... ♪
423
00:14:49,999 --> 00:14:52,433
- ♪ Going to stop... ♪
SINGER: ♪ Going to stop... ♪
424
00:14:52,502 --> 00:14:55,303
- ♪ Till you wise up ♪
SINGER: ♪ Till you wise up ♪
425
00:14:57,707 --> 00:14:59,774
- Mind if I slink in sheepishly?
426
00:14:59,842 --> 00:15:01,108
- No need to slink, dear.
427
00:15:01,177 --> 00:15:02,977
It's your body, your baby.
428
00:15:03,046 --> 00:15:04,946
I have opinions, you know that.
429
00:15:05,014 --> 00:15:06,447
- We have
your baby shower gifts.
430
00:15:06,516 --> 00:15:08,182
- I have your air pump.
431
00:15:08,251 --> 00:15:10,284
I'm not gonna need it
because I'm not doing
432
00:15:10,353 --> 00:15:11,619
the stupid homebirth.
433
00:15:11,688 --> 00:15:13,154
- Well, if it makes
you feel better,
434
00:15:13,222 --> 00:15:14,989
things go wrong
at the hospital too.
435
00:15:15,058 --> 00:15:16,257
- Mom, pick a side.
436
00:15:16,326 --> 00:15:17,892
- Okay. Open your gift now.
437
00:15:17,961 --> 00:15:20,294
I can't wait to see
the look on your face.
438
00:15:21,564 --> 00:15:22,797
- [groans]
439
00:15:22,865 --> 00:15:24,532
- Astrid, did you pull
your back?
440
00:15:24,600 --> 00:15:25,933
My friend Bonnie
had a Great Dane
441
00:15:26,002 --> 00:15:26,934
who thought he was a lap dog
442
00:15:27,003 --> 00:15:28,035
and now she has to use
a scooter.
443
00:15:28,104 --> 00:15:30,604
- Astrid, do you want me
to open the gift?
444
00:15:30,673 --> 00:15:32,940
- I think I'm having
a contraction.
445
00:15:33,009 --> 00:15:34,575
- Oh.
446
00:15:34,644 --> 00:15:36,510
- Take me
to the nearest hospital
447
00:15:36,579 --> 00:15:39,046
or laboratory
or birth factory, I guess.
448
00:15:39,115 --> 00:15:41,148
- No, we are not going
to the hospital, Astrid.
449
00:15:41,217 --> 00:15:42,950
You had a plan.
You researched it.
450
00:15:43,019 --> 00:15:44,752
You set it up and now
we are gonna go through
451
00:15:44,821 --> 00:15:46,687
with it, right, Mom?
- What?
452
00:15:46,756 --> 00:15:47,888
No. [stammers]
453
00:15:47,957 --> 00:15:49,357
Okay, fine, whatever.
454
00:15:49,425 --> 00:15:50,658
But I am calling an ambulance
455
00:15:50,727 --> 00:15:52,660
if that midwife shows up
high on pot.
456
00:15:52,729 --> 00:15:54,295
- What? Mom.
457
00:15:54,364 --> 00:15:57,031
WOMAN: So I'm gonna quickly
go through the property survey.
458
00:15:57,100 --> 00:15:59,600
You're gonna hear
the word "radiation" a lot.
459
00:15:59,669 --> 00:16:01,635
But as we discussed, it's radon
460
00:16:01,704 --> 00:16:03,437
and at perfectly normal levels.
461
00:16:03,506 --> 00:16:04,939
- Yeah, the more
I hear the word "normal,"
462
00:16:05,008 --> 00:16:06,974
the more I feel like it isn't.
- Yeah. You know what else
463
00:16:07,043 --> 00:16:09,210
is normal? You worrying
about stuff, you just let me do
464
00:16:09,278 --> 00:16:10,745
- the worrying.
- Well, you're not worried.
465
00:16:10,813 --> 00:16:12,613
- Yeah, well, the previous owner
was concerned
466
00:16:12,682 --> 00:16:13,681
about a buildup of radon in his
467
00:16:13,750 --> 00:16:16,350
"Bourne Ultimatum
House of Mirrors."
468
00:16:16,419 --> 00:16:18,052
That's not how radon works.
469
00:16:18,121 --> 00:16:20,588
- It's totally safe.
We got those radon detectors.
470
00:16:20,656 --> 00:16:22,690
- Which your houses
would be required to have.
471
00:16:22,759 --> 00:16:24,291
- What? Okay, can we just--
472
00:16:24,360 --> 00:16:26,560
Taylor, there's got
to be better options than this.
473
00:16:26,629 --> 00:16:27,895
- You know who you sound like?
- Don't.
474
00:16:27,964 --> 00:16:29,530
Dad never rushed into anything.
475
00:16:29,599 --> 00:16:31,465
- Dad never did anything.
Look where it got him.
476
00:16:31,534 --> 00:16:32,900
You want your kids
working nights in junior high?
477
00:16:32,969 --> 00:16:33,901
[phone rings]
478
00:16:33,970 --> 00:16:35,603
- No.
- No. No, you don't.
479
00:16:35,671 --> 00:16:37,004
- Give me the--hey,
give me the phone back, please.
480
00:16:37,073 --> 00:16:38,339
- No.
- That could be Astrid.
481
00:16:38,408 --> 00:16:39,607
- Give me the phone back.
- Oh, so she can tell you
482
00:16:39,675 --> 00:16:40,875
how to spend your money?
Who wears the pants, James?
483
00:16:40,943 --> 00:16:43,677
- We share the pants.
That's how it works.
484
00:16:43,746 --> 00:16:45,980
We each take a leg
and then we discuss
485
00:16:46,049 --> 00:16:46,881
where we wanna go together.
486
00:16:46,949 --> 00:16:48,682
That's what I love about it.
487
00:16:48,751 --> 00:16:50,051
- Uh, you said you were in.
488
00:16:50,119 --> 00:16:52,620
I've organized my whole life
around this, buddy.
489
00:16:52,688 --> 00:16:55,156
- I'm just saying this
is a very big risk for me.
490
00:16:55,224 --> 00:16:56,690
I'm having a baby, man.
491
00:16:56,759 --> 00:17:00,428
- It's the stupidest mistake
you ever made knocking her up.
492
00:17:00,496 --> 00:17:01,996
- Yeah, this kind of
a disagreement
493
00:17:02,065 --> 00:17:04,865
is totally normal
in this situation.
494
00:17:04,934 --> 00:17:07,134
- I'm taking the phone.
- No.
495
00:17:07,203 --> 00:17:08,436
No.
496
00:17:09,739 --> 00:17:10,805
Frig-off, James.
497
00:17:10,873 --> 00:17:13,007
- Frig right off.
- Give me--give me...
498
00:17:13,076 --> 00:17:14,575
[grunts]
499
00:17:14,644 --> 00:17:17,311
- You mess this up
and you and me are done.
500
00:17:17,380 --> 00:17:19,146
- We were done the second
you brought up Astrid.
501
00:17:19,215 --> 00:17:20,714
You're more toxic
than this field, bud.
502
00:17:20,783 --> 00:17:22,917
- Which, for the record,
is not that toxic!
503
00:17:22,985 --> 00:17:25,820
- [phone chimes]
- All right.
504
00:17:25,888 --> 00:17:27,221
Oh, my God.
505
00:17:28,925 --> 00:17:30,357
[door clicks]
506
00:17:32,428 --> 00:17:35,062
JAMES: Breathe.
[blowing]
507
00:17:35,131 --> 00:17:37,131
NISHA: Blow. Blow.
- The music is connected
508
00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:39,166
to my Bluetooth headset
instead of my Bluetooth speaker,
509
00:17:39,235 --> 00:17:40,167
it's so annoying.
510
00:17:40,236 --> 00:17:41,802
- Where are
the receiving blankets?
511
00:17:41,871 --> 00:17:43,571
- The, um, uh, the box
marked "due date."
512
00:17:43,639 --> 00:17:45,206
- The last one
was six minutes ago.
513
00:17:45,274 --> 00:17:46,707
- [blowing]
514
00:17:46,776 --> 00:17:47,608
- We have music.
515
00:17:47,677 --> 00:17:50,344
I'm just going to plug this in.
516
00:17:50,413 --> 00:17:51,779
- [all groan]
- Now you wanna do this
517
00:17:51,848 --> 00:17:53,013
in darkness?
518
00:17:53,082 --> 00:17:55,149
It's starting to feel
like a... occult ritual.
519
00:17:55,218 --> 00:17:57,051
- Look at me. Look at me.
DAWN: Okay. Really?
520
00:17:57,120 --> 00:17:58,552
Okay. Will do.
521
00:17:58,621 --> 00:18:00,621
The midwife said your
contractions are too irregular.
522
00:18:00,690 --> 00:18:03,224
So, it's either Braxton Hicks
or gas.
523
00:18:03,292 --> 00:18:05,092
- Oh, okay. Well...
524
00:18:05,161 --> 00:18:06,961
sorry to disappoint everyone.
525
00:18:07,029 --> 00:18:08,329
I feel like
I'm a vending machine
526
00:18:08,397 --> 00:18:10,331
that failed to dispense
your corn chips.
527
00:18:10,399 --> 00:18:11,565
- Ooh, speaking of snacks.
528
00:18:11,634 --> 00:18:12,833
Do you wanna get coffee at that,
529
00:18:12,902 --> 00:18:14,935
uh, Roncy Croissoncy place?
- Oh, yeah. Snacks.
530
00:18:15,004 --> 00:18:17,138
- Mm-hmm. Okay. Bye.
- Okay. You're good.
531
00:18:17,206 --> 00:18:18,038
- Yeah, there's a lot
to unpack here.
532
00:18:18,107 --> 00:18:20,074
This isn't what I signed up for.
533
00:18:20,143 --> 00:18:21,308
- We got it, Bo.
534
00:18:22,979 --> 00:18:25,212
- [clicks tongue]
535
00:18:25,281 --> 00:18:26,280
[laughing]
536
00:18:26,349 --> 00:18:28,182
- Okay.
537
00:18:28,251 --> 00:18:29,617
How are you feeling?
538
00:18:29,685 --> 00:18:31,585
- Pregnant.
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
539
00:18:31,654 --> 00:18:32,720
- How are you?
540
00:18:32,788 --> 00:18:34,455
What are you going to do
about your brother?
541
00:18:34,524 --> 00:18:38,859
- Uh, I think, uh...
us and the field are done
542
00:18:38,928 --> 00:18:41,228
and we might be done, too.
543
00:18:43,633 --> 00:18:45,032
- Okay.
- Mm-hmm.
544
00:18:45,101 --> 00:18:47,368
- You wanna talk about it?
545
00:18:47,436 --> 00:18:49,336
- Uh... [chuckles]
546
00:18:52,875 --> 00:18:54,608
- Right. Well, um...
547
00:18:54,677 --> 00:18:56,210
I have my maternity leave money.
548
00:18:56,279 --> 00:18:57,745
But we may need
to take out a second mortgage
549
00:18:57,813 --> 00:18:59,747
to cover the first mortgage.
550
00:19:02,118 --> 00:19:04,084
- I'll figure something out.
551
00:19:06,956 --> 00:19:08,856
- [knocks on door]
- Your 48 hours are up.
552
00:19:08,925 --> 00:19:12,092
- Well, if the offer
still stands, I'd love the job.
553
00:19:12,161 --> 00:19:13,194
- I have a plan, James,
554
00:19:13,262 --> 00:19:16,297
and you are
a very special part of it.
555
00:19:17,333 --> 00:19:18,799
- Great, thank you.
556
00:19:18,868 --> 00:19:20,868
- Is it now? Later?
- Nope. That's not--
557
00:19:20,937 --> 00:19:24,071
When we said--
no, just remember--
558
00:19:24,140 --> 00:19:25,606
Marla, I have a friend.
559
00:19:25,675 --> 00:19:27,908
- Sure. He can be a part
of my plan, too.
560
00:19:27,977 --> 00:19:29,076
- Just sure--like that?
561
00:19:29,145 --> 00:19:30,578
I mean, it kind of takes away
the specialness
562
00:19:30,646 --> 00:19:31,879
of what we just--
563
00:19:31,948 --> 00:19:33,080
his only experience is a DJ.
564
00:19:33,149 --> 00:19:34,949
- Are you sure you--
- Hey, what's up?
565
00:19:35,017 --> 00:19:36,550
Um, I have a resume.
566
00:19:36,619 --> 00:19:39,086
I mean, not here obviously.
567
00:19:39,155 --> 00:19:40,588
- Can you both start Monday?
568
00:19:40,656 --> 00:19:42,122
- Try and stop us.
- No doubt.
569
00:19:42,191 --> 00:19:44,191
Oh, I do captain
a dodge ball team.
570
00:19:44,260 --> 00:19:48,162
We play Wednesdays. That
shouldn't be a problem, right?
571
00:19:48,231 --> 00:19:50,531
ASTRID: You can't possibly
know what you're getting into
572
00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:52,399
when you have that first baby.
573
00:19:52,468 --> 00:19:54,068
JAMES: You're adding
a person to your life
574
00:19:54,136 --> 00:19:56,070
and people
are pretty unpredictable.
575
00:19:56,138 --> 00:19:59,073
ASTRID: And you can't
be ready for the emotions
you'll feel,
576
00:19:59,141 --> 00:20:01,342
the love, the panic,
577
00:20:01,410 --> 00:20:04,545
the fear, the frustrations,
the laughter.
578
00:20:04,614 --> 00:20:06,180
JAMES: Because kids
are weirder,
579
00:20:06,249 --> 00:20:08,148
funnier, grosser,
more exhausting,
580
00:20:08,217 --> 00:20:10,784
more beautiful
than you can ever imagine.
581
00:20:10,853 --> 00:20:13,153
ASTRID: But if you've got
the right partner,
582
00:20:13,222 --> 00:20:14,722
you'll be ready for anything.
583
00:20:14,790 --> 00:20:16,790
- [baby babbles]
- [both gasp]
584
00:20:20,496 --> 00:20:22,096
he's asleep now.
585
00:20:22,164 --> 00:20:24,465
- He's all tuckered out.
- Oh, he's so peaceful.
586
00:20:24,533 --> 00:20:25,933
- Mm-hmm.
- Look at him.
587
00:20:28,170 --> 00:20:30,271
- He's breathing, right?
- Yes.
588
00:20:30,339 --> 00:20:33,741
He was just awake, right?
589
00:20:36,212 --> 00:20:37,911
- I'm gonna wake him up.
- There, there, right there,
590
00:20:37,980 --> 00:20:39,313
right there.
His little tummy moved.
591
00:20:39,382 --> 00:20:40,314
Yes. We're great parents.
592
00:20:40,383 --> 00:20:41,882
- We're crushing it.
- Oh.
593
00:20:41,951 --> 00:20:43,083
Should we unpack
the last of the boxes?
594
00:20:43,152 --> 00:20:44,952
- I'd actually like to see
a breath myself
595
00:20:45,021 --> 00:20:47,121
- just to verify.
- Okay. Yeah, no, no.
596
00:20:49,558 --> 00:20:51,325
- I'm gonna wake him up.
- Wake him up. Wake him up.
597
00:20:51,394 --> 00:20:54,194
SINGER: ♪ I love my kids
but kids ruin everything ♪
598
00:20:54,263 --> 00:20:57,031
♪ Everything
kids ruin everything ♪
599
00:20:57,099 --> 00:20:59,566
♪ I love my kids
but kids ruin everything ♪
600
00:20:59,635 --> 00:21:01,635
♪ Everything
kids ruin everything... ♪
601
00:21:01,704 --> 00:21:03,971
♪ No more sleeping in ♪
602
00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:07,074
♪ I got kids in my face ♪
603
00:21:07,143 --> 00:21:09,843
♪ I never knew but now I see ♪
604
00:21:09,912 --> 00:21:13,614
♪ That children
ruin everything ♪
605
00:21:13,683 --> 00:21:16,283
♪ Na, na, na
na, na, na, na, thing ♪
606
00:21:16,352 --> 00:21:17,718
♪ Na, na, na, na, na ♪
607
00:21:17,787 --> 00:21:20,521
♪ I never knew but now I see ♪
608
00:21:20,589 --> 00:21:23,090
♪ I really hate this... ♪