1 00:00:14,625 --> 00:00:17,583 ‎NETFLIX 出品 2 00:00:36,125 --> 00:00:38,833 ‎根據希臘神話 3 00:00:38,916 --> 00:00:42,791 ‎神最初把人類 ‎創造成有四條手臂、四條腿 4 00:00:42,875 --> 00:00:44,583 ‎一個頭和兩張臉 5 00:00:45,500 --> 00:00:49,208 ‎但宙斯忌憚人類的力量 ‎於是把人一分為二 6 00:00:49,750 --> 00:00:52,708 ‎害得人類終其一生 7 00:00:52,791 --> 00:00:56,458 ‎都要在尋覓自己的另一半 ‎尋覓跟自己靈魂契合的另一半 8 00:00:59,416 --> 00:01:00,291 ‎(酒吧) 9 00:01:05,750 --> 00:01:06,750 ‎如果這是真的 10 00:01:08,375 --> 00:01:10,000 ‎那宙斯就是個混蛋 11 00:01:15,416 --> 00:01:20,041 ‎交友固然從來都不容易 ‎現今網路交友更是難上加難 12 00:01:20,958 --> 00:01:24,791 ‎我一直深信只要按一按鍵 ‎就會在茫茫人海中找到絕配 13 00:01:25,375 --> 00:01:28,541 ‎-善良和誠實的人,最理想的是… ‎-老婆? 14 00:01:29,125 --> 00:01:32,250 ‎…一個沒有老婆的人,我說得對嗎? 15 00:01:35,333 --> 00:01:38,708 ‎儘管直覺告訴我,我應該徹底放棄 16 00:01:38,791 --> 00:01:41,541 ‎然而泰德出現了 ‎他是天秤座,喜歡狗狗 17 00:01:41,625 --> 00:01:44,416 ‎邀請我在日落時跟他揚帆出海 18 00:01:46,625 --> 00:01:48,250 ‎他最後卻完全消失 19 00:01:50,083 --> 00:01:51,875 ‎但從正面來看 20 00:01:51,958 --> 00:01:56,250 ‎我憑藉糟糕的感情生活 ‎搖身一變成為受歡迎的網路作家 21 00:01:56,833 --> 00:01:59,541 ‎我多年來一直以“萬年伴娘”為筆名 22 00:01:59,625 --> 00:02:03,083 ‎在社交媒體上記載我的悲慘約會故事 23 00:02:03,166 --> 00:02:05,416 ‎網民似乎樂見我找不到真愛 24 00:02:06,125 --> 00:02:09,541 ‎但老實說,我不確定我還能撐多久 25 00:02:09,625 --> 00:02:13,083 ‎怎麼每個人都找到愛,我卻找不到? 26 00:02:13,166 --> 00:02:15,458 ‎我不是世上最倒楣的女人 27 00:02:15,541 --> 00:02:18,250 ‎就是缺乏選對象的眼光 28 00:02:19,083 --> 00:02:20,000 ‎妳兩者都是 29 00:02:20,625 --> 00:02:23,458 ‎這些約會的共同點是什麼? 30 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:24,833 ‎是妳 31 00:02:25,500 --> 00:02:26,833 ‎妳說什麼? 32 00:02:26,916 --> 00:02:29,958 ‎共同點是一群洛杉磯混蛋 33 00:02:30,041 --> 00:02:32,416 ‎那是妳另一個問題 ‎妳只找在地人當對象 34 00:02:32,500 --> 00:02:34,958 ‎拜託,我得從俄亥俄州進口馬克 35 00:02:35,041 --> 00:02:36,416 ‎妳要更有志氣 36 00:02:36,916 --> 00:02:40,083 ‎天啊,小奈! ‎妳只鎖定八公里範圍內的對象 37 00:02:40,166 --> 00:02:41,791 ‎妳要放眼西好萊塢外的世界 38 00:02:41,875 --> 00:02:43,791 ‎汽油太貴了 39 00:02:43,875 --> 00:02:46,375 ‎到格倫代爾要花40元,而且只是單程 40 00:02:46,458 --> 00:02:48,333 ‎(來撩吧) 41 00:02:48,416 --> 00:02:51,083 ‎抽古柯鹼然後到處亂跑更便宜 42 00:02:51,166 --> 00:02:54,166 ‎搞定了,我去買果汁,想要什麼嗎? 43 00:02:54,250 --> 00:02:57,833 ‎好啊,幫我買一杯綠奶昔 ‎多加小麥草 44 00:02:57,916 --> 00:03:00,708 ‎-但不要奇異果因為我… ‎-我知道,妳過敏,不要奇異果 45 00:03:00,791 --> 00:03:02,500 ‎對不起,習慣了 46 00:03:02,583 --> 00:03:05,666 ‎上次有實習生忘了,我差點掛掉 47 00:03:06,750 --> 00:03:10,875 ‎娜塔莉,我的下一個故事呢? ‎我想妳已安排好下次約會了 48 00:03:10,958 --> 00:03:13,833 ‎下次約會我們不如來點新意 49 00:03:13,916 --> 00:03:16,541 ‎比較歡樂的東西? 50 00:03:17,166 --> 00:03:18,500 ‎妳為什麼要這麼做? 51 00:03:18,583 --> 00:03:20,208 ‎這樣我就不用跟 52 00:03:20,291 --> 00:03:22,791 ‎上過電視節目《囤積者》的男生約會 53 00:03:22,875 --> 00:03:25,833 ‎-這樣我會很慘啊 ‎-對不起 54 00:03:26,625 --> 00:03:27,791 ‎不過所有人都很慘 55 00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:29,875 ‎但這正是我們社蕉媒體存在的原因 56 00:03:29,958 --> 00:03:32,416 ‎好讓大家不要老是想著自己的生活 57 00:03:32,916 --> 00:03:35,625 ‎或是讓大家知道他們不算最可憐 58 00:03:36,500 --> 00:03:39,708 ‎記住,妳的悲劇 ‎就是大受歡迎的文章,知道嗎? 59 00:03:40,500 --> 00:03:42,625 ‎妳牙縫裡有食物,妳可能要… 60 00:03:42,708 --> 00:03:43,666 ‎收到,提米! 61 00:04:07,333 --> 00:04:09,666 ‎(來撩吧 ‎歡迎回來,奈德麗!) 62 00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:10,708 ‎(羅伊,27歲) 63 00:04:10,791 --> 00:04:13,083 ‎我是裸體瑜伽教練,妳好 64 00:04:13,166 --> 00:04:14,083 ‎(瑞克,32歲) 65 00:04:14,166 --> 00:04:16,125 ‎《與星共舞》準決賽參賽者 66 00:04:16,208 --> 00:04:17,166 ‎(文尼,27歲) 67 00:04:17,250 --> 00:04:19,208 ‎忠誠的女權主義者 ‎最喜歡電影是《手札情… 68 00:04:19,291 --> 00:04:20,208 ‎(格雷格,35號) 69 00:04:20,291 --> 00:04:21,416 ‎這有可能屬於妳,女孩 70 00:04:21,500 --> 00:04:23,458 ‎過來跟我玩玩吧 71 00:04:23,541 --> 00:04:24,500 ‎(喬許,30歲) 72 00:04:24,583 --> 00:04:26,791 ‎熱愛人生和戶外生活 73 00:04:26,875 --> 00:04:28,416 ‎我不去上班時 74 00:04:28,500 --> 00:04:32,416 ‎妳會發現我在紐約州普萊西德湖的家 ‎計劃我的下一步 75 00:04:32,500 --> 00:04:33,375 ‎哇! 76 00:04:35,291 --> 00:04:38,208 ‎想找一個率直不做作的女人 77 00:04:38,291 --> 00:04:40,000 ‎(《真的戀愛了》 ‎最佳聖誕電影?) 78 00:04:40,083 --> 00:04:40,916 ‎哎呀 79 00:04:43,125 --> 00:04:46,250 ‎(你們配對了!傳訊息) 80 00:04:48,208 --> 00:04:52,541 ‎《真的戀愛了》? ‎史上最爛的聖誕電影! 81 00:04:53,375 --> 00:04:57,333 ‎奈德麗,那麼妳對我 ‎最喜歡的聖誕電影有什麼看法? 82 00:04:57,875 --> 00:05:01,416 ‎這是一部講述 ‎人們單憑外表愛上對方的電影 83 00:05:01,500 --> 00:05:05,375 ‎我傾向認為 ‎這是一個愛情戰勝現實的故事 84 00:05:06,250 --> 00:05:07,500 ‎我覺得這觀點還行 85 00:05:10,041 --> 00:05:12,125 ‎那麼妳最喜歡的聖誕電影是哪一部? 86 00:05:12,708 --> 00:05:16,041 ‎太簡單了,不用說,《終極警探》 87 00:05:16,625 --> 00:05:19,083 ‎妳真的認為 ‎《終極警探》是聖誕電影? 88 00:05:20,291 --> 00:05:22,125 ‎中大獎,沒錯! 89 00:05:22,708 --> 00:05:24,583 ‎好,說服我吧 90 00:05:26,208 --> 00:05:27,041 ‎好吧 91 00:05:27,791 --> 00:05:30,541 ‎沒關係,準確來說 ‎我可以說出七個理由 92 00:05:30,625 --> 00:05:32,583 ‎-妳有研究過 ‎-我可以寫一篇論文 93 00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:34,750 ‎第一,故事在聖誕派對上發生 94 00:05:34,833 --> 00:05:37,666 ‎-這樣也不算是聖誕電影! ‎-我有更多證據 95 00:05:37,750 --> 00:05:41,083 ‎第二,電影的結尾在下雪 ‎第三,電影有出現禮物 96 00:05:41,166 --> 00:05:43,875 ‎大部分電影都有出現禮物! 97 00:05:43,958 --> 00:05:47,291 ‎妳知道嗎? ‎我願意重新考慮,我可能真的… 98 00:05:52,166 --> 00:05:56,291 ‎天啊!這傢伙帥得要命 99 00:05:56,791 --> 00:05:59,875 ‎他懂“它們”與“他們”的分別 ‎真意想不到 100 00:05:59,958 --> 00:06:02,250 ‎他是亞裔美國人,會說三種語言 101 00:06:02,333 --> 00:06:05,916 ‎他喜歡周遊列國 ‎但沒去過觀察名單上的地方 102 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:08,166 ‎-確實只有一個缺點 ‎-什麼? 103 00:06:08,708 --> 00:06:09,833 ‎妳沒見過他 104 00:06:09,916 --> 00:06:12,916 ‎拜託,他的個人檔案裡有六張照片 105 00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:16,416 ‎這不代表什麼 ‎記得妳上次約出來見面的那個人嗎? 106 00:06:16,500 --> 00:06:17,333 ‎記得 107 00:06:17,416 --> 00:06:19,416 ‎結果他比照片老了20歲 108 00:06:19,958 --> 00:06:22,333 ‎這人有可能是《最後晚餐》的服務生 109 00:06:22,416 --> 00:06:23,250 ‎什麼? 110 00:06:23,333 --> 00:06:26,750 ‎看著我,除非他拿著印有 ‎今天日期的報紙拍張照片傳給妳 111 00:06:26,833 --> 00:06:30,000 ‎否則妳千萬別相信他,知道嗎?沒錯 112 00:06:30,583 --> 00:06:33,500 ‎我們就要這麼做 ‎我打電話叫他傳照片 113 00:06:33,583 --> 00:06:35,875 ‎-不要! ‎-對,什麼事?對不起 114 00:06:35,958 --> 00:06:38,666 ‎我是高個子,妳搶不到手機 115 00:06:38,750 --> 00:06:40,875 ‎好,妳試試看,喔!好,沒關係! 116 00:06:40,958 --> 00:06:42,666 ‎我好像錯過了一場好玩的派對 117 00:06:43,916 --> 00:06:44,791 ‎喂? 118 00:06:45,500 --> 00:06:46,333 ‎喂? 119 00:06:47,333 --> 00:06:48,916 ‎-喬許! ‎-嘿,奈德麗 120 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:50,000 ‎嗨! 121 00:06:50,083 --> 00:06:51,041 ‎嘿 122 00:06:51,583 --> 00:06:53,041 ‎我不是想要打給你 123 00:06:53,125 --> 00:06:55,541 ‎我在健行… 124 00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:58,000 ‎我絆倒了,然後… 125 00:06:58,083 --> 00:07:00,416 ‎-我不小心按了“撥打電話” ‎-妳在說什麼? 126 00:07:00,500 --> 00:07:02,333 ‎-很高興妳還活著 ‎-什麼? 127 00:07:02,416 --> 00:07:06,458 ‎雖然我跟妳有三個小時的時差 ‎但我樂意當妳的緊急聯絡人 128 00:07:07,125 --> 00:07:09,250 ‎-對不起 ‎-沒事,我還活著 129 00:07:09,333 --> 00:07:11,250 ‎不管怎樣,我最好繼續健行 130 00:07:11,333 --> 00:07:12,500 ‎抱歉打擾你,再見 131 00:07:13,583 --> 00:07:16,041 ‎-我要殺了妳 ‎-對不起! 132 00:07:17,333 --> 00:07:18,208 ‎什麼? 133 00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:20,166 ‎-什麼? ‎-妳滿意了嗎? 134 00:07:20,250 --> 00:07:21,750 ‎(再見奈德麗) 135 00:07:22,375 --> 00:07:24,916 ‎好,滿意了,天啊 136 00:07:25,583 --> 00:07:27,375 ‎他好帥! 137 00:07:27,916 --> 00:07:29,458 ‎這是什麼? 138 00:07:30,250 --> 00:07:31,125 ‎我是說… 139 00:07:31,208 --> 00:07:34,750 ‎但妳開始在浴缸裡烤吐司時 ‎我們就要擔心 140 00:07:36,541 --> 00:07:41,000 ‎我最初看到你的個人檔案時 ‎我以為你又是一個 141 00:07:41,083 --> 00:07:43,583 ‎隨時準備好雄風照的帥哥 142 00:07:43,666 --> 00:07:46,000 ‎妳為什麼覺得我不是? 143 00:07:53,583 --> 00:07:56,291 ‎換妳了!以牙還牙,小奈 144 00:08:00,750 --> 00:08:02,208 ‎很奇怪呢! 145 00:08:02,291 --> 00:08:03,750 ‎至少我的很正直 146 00:08:06,375 --> 00:08:11,208 ‎我父母在我三歲時就離婚了 ‎但我有一個很好的繼母,所以… 147 00:08:11,291 --> 00:08:15,458 ‎我媽媽去年過世了 ‎你應該會很喜歡她,大家都喜歡她 148 00:08:21,666 --> 00:08:26,875 ‎老實說,我吃厭外食了 ‎我比較喜歡留在家裡做飯 149 00:08:27,375 --> 00:08:28,750 ‎-妳做飯嗎? ‎-對 150 00:08:28,833 --> 00:08:30,208 ‎經常做 151 00:08:30,291 --> 00:08:32,250 ‎今晚我在廚房的助手是 152 00:08:32,332 --> 00:08:35,375 ‎博亞迪主廚罐裝義大利麵 ‎和我的好朋友班傑利冰淇淋 153 00:08:38,541 --> 00:08:41,082 ‎不可能,你小時候也是胖胖的嗎? 154 00:08:41,166 --> 00:08:45,208 ‎我發誓沒騙妳,初中的同學 ‎以前都問我用哪個下巴 155 00:08:45,291 --> 00:08:47,166 ‎哎呀,小孩有時很刻薄 156 00:08:53,708 --> 00:08:56,958 ‎你是說湯姆克魯斯親自開飛機? 157 00:08:57,041 --> 00:08:59,125 ‎在《霹靂男兒》裡是他自己開車 158 00:08:59,208 --> 00:09:02,166 ‎還有在《不可能的任務》 ‎從天花板吊下來…喝吧! 159 00:09:03,166 --> 00:09:06,291 ‎我不知道這部電影這麼有同性戀色彩 160 00:09:06,916 --> 00:09:10,416 ‎對,獨行俠和冰人 ‎好像在續集裡結婚了 161 00:09:11,625 --> 00:09:12,666 ‎叫《捍衛性事》嗎? 162 00:09:12,750 --> 00:09:13,875 ‎我有興趣看啊 163 00:09:13,958 --> 00:09:16,208 ‎獨行俠違抗命令!喝吧! 164 00:09:18,333 --> 00:09:20,333 ‎妳小時候最喜歡哪一本書? 165 00:09:20,416 --> 00:09:24,125 ‎是一本叫做《人行道盡頭》的詩集 166 00:09:24,208 --> 00:09:27,708 ‎小佩琪安麥凱說 ‎“我今天不能去上學” 167 00:09:27,791 --> 00:09:29,750 ‎你居然知道 168 00:09:30,250 --> 00:09:33,666 ‎早在費里斯布勒之前 ‎就有佩姬安麥凱 169 00:09:35,333 --> 00:09:36,250 ‎其實 170 00:09:37,041 --> 00:09:42,208 ‎我小時候我媽媽常唸這個給我聽 171 00:09:45,291 --> 00:09:47,958 ‎這樣做以前有助我入睡,但說真的 172 00:09:48,916 --> 00:09:51,791 ‎我覺得聽著這些詩句 173 00:09:52,583 --> 00:09:53,833 ‎最能慰藉我 174 00:09:55,541 --> 00:09:58,166 ‎“這座橋只會帶妳走到 175 00:09:59,333 --> 00:10:02,125 ‎妳渴望看到的神秘土地的半路 176 00:10:04,625 --> 00:10:07,625 ‎穿過吉普賽營地和旋轉的阿拉伯集市 177 00:10:09,166 --> 00:10:12,416 ‎和有獨角獸自由奔跑的月光樹林 178 00:10:13,583 --> 00:10:15,583 ‎跟我一起走 179 00:10:16,208 --> 00:10:19,250 ‎分享我熟悉的羊腸小徑 180 00:10:19,750 --> 00:10:21,583 ‎和奇妙的世界 181 00:10:22,875 --> 00:10:25,041 ‎但這座橋只會帶妳走到半路 182 00:10:26,333 --> 00:10:29,666 ‎最後幾步妳要獨自走完” 183 00:10:46,875 --> 00:10:47,916 ‎喬許? 184 00:10:50,166 --> 00:10:51,291 ‎早安 185 00:10:53,458 --> 00:10:57,208 ‎我大概應該用 ‎威訊通訊的無限通話計畫 186 00:11:02,583 --> 00:11:04,166 ‎(社蕉媒體) 187 00:11:04,250 --> 00:11:08,250 ‎(昨晚太棒了) 188 00:11:08,333 --> 00:11:11,166 ‎(沒錯) 189 00:11:11,250 --> 00:11:15,000 ‎(我希望你住得近一點) 190 00:11:15,083 --> 00:11:18,083 ‎(我希望妳能來這裡陪我過聖誕節) 191 00:11:18,166 --> 00:11:21,208 ‎(這主意很瘋狂嗎?) 192 00:11:21,291 --> 00:11:23,916 ‎奈德麗,馬上來我的辦公室 193 00:11:27,833 --> 00:11:30,958 ‎已經兩個星期了 ‎下一篇“悲慘約會故事”的文章呢? 194 00:11:31,916 --> 00:11:35,750 ‎你可以暫停一下嗎?有點干擾我 195 00:11:35,833 --> 00:11:38,958 ‎不,我停不了,我不會停 ‎我的下一個故事呢? 196 00:11:39,666 --> 00:11:40,791 ‎是這樣的 197 00:11:42,083 --> 00:11:43,500 ‎我認識了一個人 198 00:11:44,458 --> 00:11:46,833 ‎我覺得我們有機會發展 199 00:11:46,916 --> 00:11:50,208 ‎-天啊,又來了 ‎-我想改為寫這個故事 200 00:11:50,791 --> 00:11:51,875 ‎我不喜歡這點子 201 00:11:52,416 --> 00:11:55,250 ‎拜託跟一個在網路認識的賤男約會 ‎然後吐槽他吧 202 00:11:55,333 --> 00:11:58,291 ‎-我不吐槽 ‎-妳怎麼甩了那個養天竺鼠的男人? 203 00:11:58,375 --> 00:11:59,458 ‎牠們嚇死我了 204 00:11:59,541 --> 00:12:01,083 ‎那個一整天都在笑的男人呢? 205 00:12:01,166 --> 00:12:03,458 ‎我永遠看不出他是不是真的開心 206 00:12:03,541 --> 00:12:06,208 ‎那個一直把你們 ‎形容為合作夥伴的人呢? 207 00:12:06,291 --> 00:12:07,708 ‎我需要解釋嗎? 208 00:12:10,166 --> 00:12:12,916 ‎奈德麗,就這樣吧,好嗎? 209 00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:15,375 ‎妳的戀愛生活簡直悲慘 210 00:12:15,458 --> 00:12:19,875 ‎但妳應該慶幸 ‎因為這樣妳才有一份工作 211 00:12:21,791 --> 00:12:23,250 ‎如果我寫一個故事 212 00:12:23,333 --> 00:12:26,833 ‎講述一個女孩在快要徹底放棄愛情時 213 00:12:26,916 --> 00:12:31,083 ‎卻發現真命天子可能真的存在? 214 00:12:31,708 --> 00:12:32,791 ‎她押上一切 215 00:12:32,875 --> 00:12:35,541 ‎她的理智,她的常識 216 00:12:35,625 --> 00:12:38,125 ‎她上《鑽石求千金》的機會 217 00:12:38,208 --> 00:12:40,583 ‎這樣很值得 ‎因為他們趕及在聖誕節前 218 00:12:40,666 --> 00:12:42,958 ‎墜入愛河 219 00:12:43,041 --> 00:12:46,333 ‎我喜歡,但我覺得不應該由妳來寫 220 00:12:47,083 --> 00:12:49,750 ‎把嚴肅的題材 ‎留給真正的記者處理吧,像史蒂夫 221 00:12:49,833 --> 00:12:50,875 ‎幹那個史蒂夫 222 00:12:50,958 --> 00:12:54,208 ‎我有幹過他,主題標籤是 ‎“別告訴人事部,低調” 223 00:12:54,291 --> 00:12:55,125 ‎你知道嗎? 224 00:12:55,208 --> 00:12:59,666 ‎此時此刻 ‎我悲慘的戀愛生活已結束了 225 00:12:59,750 --> 00:13:02,083 ‎我要飛去紐約州普萊西德湖 226 00:13:02,166 --> 00:13:05,666 ‎我要給喬許一個驚喜 ‎然後有一個快樂的結局 227 00:13:05,750 --> 00:13:08,708 ‎不好意思,妳還沒見過這傢伙嗎? 228 00:13:08,791 --> 00:13:11,333 ‎還沒親身見面,但… 229 00:13:11,416 --> 00:13:14,541 ‎我收回剛才所有話,妳應該寫這故事 230 00:13:14,625 --> 00:13:18,083 ‎妳該飛到美國的另一端 ‎為一個陌生人送上節日驚喜 231 00:13:18,166 --> 00:13:21,416 ‎這將會是妳歷來最慘的約會故事 232 00:13:22,541 --> 00:13:23,791 ‎誰在跳舞? 233 00:13:23,875 --> 00:13:25,875 ‎你錯了,李爾,我會給你好看 234 00:13:25,958 --> 00:13:29,625 ‎因為這會是你看過最精彩的 235 00:13:29,708 --> 00:13:31,291 ‎愛情故事 236 00:13:31,791 --> 00:13:34,958 ‎我失陪了,我要回去收拾行李 237 00:13:36,625 --> 00:13:37,541 ‎好 238 00:13:38,958 --> 00:13:43,000 ‎這樣很瘋狂嗎?我瘋了嗎? ‎我瘋了,我在做什麼? 239 00:13:43,083 --> 00:13:46,625 ‎不是,瘋狂是不斷重複做同樣的事 240 00:13:46,708 --> 00:13:48,750 ‎但期望得到不同的結果 241 00:13:48,833 --> 00:13:50,750 ‎妳是要飛4800公里 242 00:13:50,833 --> 00:13:53,083 ‎去見一個跟妳以前約會過的傢伙 243 00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:55,333 ‎南轅北轍的男生,所以… 244 00:13:55,875 --> 00:13:57,916 ‎哎呀,最諷刺的是 245 00:13:58,416 --> 00:14:00,666 ‎這次可能是妳做過最明智的決定 246 00:14:02,500 --> 00:14:05,958 ‎(普萊西德湖機場) 247 00:14:21,416 --> 00:14:22,416 ‎先生,不好意思 248 00:14:23,083 --> 00:14:23,916 ‎我的行李… 249 00:14:28,166 --> 00:14:29,000 ‎嗨 250 00:14:29,083 --> 00:14:31,041 ‎我剛下飛機,但我的行李沒到 251 00:14:31,125 --> 00:14:31,958 ‎(艾瑞克) 252 00:14:32,041 --> 00:14:35,500 ‎填寫在妳左手邊的表格 ‎然後放進下班時間的專用槽 253 00:14:37,166 --> 00:14:40,208 ‎我怎麼要放進下班時間的專用槽? 254 00:14:40,291 --> 00:14:42,666 ‎你在這裡,辦事處還在開放 255 00:14:42,750 --> 00:14:44,708 ‎是幾個小時 256 00:14:44,791 --> 00:14:48,041 ‎填好表格,就會有人聯絡妳 257 00:14:51,041 --> 00:14:51,916 ‎好 258 00:14:56,416 --> 00:14:58,750 ‎(遇上悲慘的結局了嗎?) 259 00:15:03,458 --> 00:15:04,916 ‎(司機艾瑞克:我到了) 260 00:15:12,375 --> 00:15:13,291 ‎你在開玩笑嗎? 261 00:15:14,041 --> 00:15:15,875 ‎零工經濟真的不是開玩笑 262 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:19,833 ‎我換另一台優步,謝謝 263 00:15:20,708 --> 00:15:22,458 ‎我是鎮上唯一一台優步 264 00:15:22,541 --> 00:15:24,750 ‎好吧,我召來福車吧 265 00:15:30,708 --> 00:15:33,875 ‎評分4.9顆星,我還提供小吃 266 00:15:35,458 --> 00:15:36,833 ‎玉米片起司? 267 00:15:37,666 --> 00:15:40,625 ‎烤馬鈴薯呢?我有烤馬鈴薯 268 00:15:45,083 --> 00:15:46,958 ‎妳要吃番木瓜嗎?奇異果? 269 00:15:47,500 --> 00:15:50,500 ‎不要奇異果,我會腫得像河豚一樣 270 00:15:50,583 --> 00:15:53,625 ‎-我要送你去哪裡? ‎-霍特街420號 271 00:15:53,708 --> 00:15:54,833 ‎林宅嗎? 272 00:15:54,916 --> 00:15:55,833 ‎很好 273 00:15:56,833 --> 00:15:58,166 ‎你怎麼知道? 274 00:15:58,250 --> 00:15:59,750 ‎林喬許是我的老朋友 275 00:15:59,833 --> 00:16:01,958 ‎-我要走了 ‎-不過外面很冷,寶貝 276 00:16:02,041 --> 00:16:03,833 ‎而且我們放學後常在他的地下室抽煙 277 00:16:04,500 --> 00:16:06,916 ‎所以不可能會忘記這個地址 278 00:16:07,666 --> 00:16:09,875 ‎可以把收音機關掉嗎? 279 00:16:09,958 --> 00:16:12,458 ‎這首歌很棒,經典作品 280 00:16:12,958 --> 00:16:18,125 ‎對,多虧這首歌 ‎迷姦藥自1944年起變得時髦 281 00:16:18,833 --> 00:16:23,083 ‎妳在說什麼?這首聖誕合唱歌很可愛 ‎歌曲中的男女在互撩 282 00:16:23,166 --> 00:16:25,041 ‎如果你是比爾寇司比,也許會這樣想 283 00:16:25,625 --> 00:16:27,583 ‎可以關掉收音機嗎? 284 00:16:27,666 --> 00:16:28,708 ‎付錢的最大 285 00:16:34,416 --> 00:16:35,250 ‎哇 286 00:16:37,708 --> 00:16:39,750 ‎他們真的很喜歡聖誕節吧? 287 00:16:39,833 --> 00:16:41,375 ‎妳應該在萬聖節來看看 288 00:16:41,458 --> 00:16:44,166 ‎連史蒂芬金也怕來這裡索糖果 289 00:16:44,250 --> 00:16:48,791 ‎嘿,可以幫我一個忙嗎? ‎把這個交給喬許 290 00:16:48,875 --> 00:16:53,250 ‎跟他說大麻是艾老石給他的 291 00:16:54,375 --> 00:16:55,583 ‎-好吧 ‎-好 292 00:16:57,041 --> 00:16:59,583 ‎謝謝你載我一程 293 00:17:24,458 --> 00:17:25,333 ‎-嗨 ‎-嗨 294 00:17:25,415 --> 00:17:27,500 ‎聖誕快樂,有什麼事嗎? 295 00:17:27,583 --> 00:17:31,166 ‎嗨,我是奈德麗鮑爾 ‎我是來找林喬許 296 00:17:31,250 --> 00:17:32,250 ‎他在家嗎? 297 00:17:34,041 --> 00:17:36,708 ‎他現在不在,但他應該隨時會回來 298 00:17:36,791 --> 00:17:38,625 ‎妳進來等他好嗎? 299 00:17:39,708 --> 00:17:40,625 ‎好 300 00:17:40,708 --> 00:17:41,958 ‎我的天啊 301 00:17:42,041 --> 00:17:47,541 ‎我沒想到今晚會有客人 ‎我是芭芭,我是喬許的媽媽 302 00:17:47,625 --> 00:17:49,208 ‎-幸會 ‎-嗨,幸會 303 00:17:49,291 --> 00:17:52,208 ‎妳和喬許是朋友嗎? 304 00:17:52,958 --> 00:17:55,458 ‎對,妳應該可以這麼說 305 00:17:56,041 --> 00:17:59,375 ‎又是摩門教徒嗎? ‎說最後一次,我們不會改變信仰! 306 00:17:59,458 --> 00:18:01,333 ‎不是摩門教徒,鮑伯! 307 00:18:01,416 --> 00:18:03,833 ‎是喬許的朋友! 308 00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:06,291 ‎他每次都這樣,連萬聖節都一樣 309 00:18:06,375 --> 00:18:08,958 ‎每次門鈴響 ‎他都會說:“是摩門教徒嗎?” 310 00:18:09,041 --> 00:18:10,583 ‎這位是鮑伯 311 00:18:10,666 --> 00:18:13,708 ‎他是喬許的爸爸 ‎這位是他的祖母瓊 312 00:18:13,791 --> 00:18:15,500 ‎-妳好,親愛的! ‎-嗨 313 00:18:15,583 --> 00:18:17,375 ‎好了,非常好 314 00:18:17,958 --> 00:18:20,750 ‎-妳怎麼認識喬許? ‎-他們是朋友,瓊奶奶 315 00:18:20,833 --> 00:18:24,583 ‎我們可能不只是朋友 316 00:18:26,041 --> 00:18:28,958 ‎天啊,你是他的女什麼嗎? 317 00:18:29,708 --> 00:18:31,166 ‎-女傭? ‎-不是 318 00:18:31,250 --> 00:18:32,875 ‎你是他的女朋友嗎? 319 00:18:32,958 --> 00:18:34,958 ‎可能吧,目前還沒有名分 320 00:18:35,041 --> 00:18:39,333 ‎哎呀!實在太棒了,看看妳! 321 00:18:39,416 --> 00:18:41,125 ‎是唇蜜 322 00:18:41,208 --> 00:18:42,541 ‎喬許有女朋友? 323 00:18:42,625 --> 00:18:44,458 ‎我是說,不… 324 00:18:45,041 --> 00:18:47,583 ‎我們的關係與別不同嗎?對 325 00:18:47,666 --> 00:18:50,208 ‎我從洛杉磯飛來 ‎就是為了給他一個聖誕節驚喜嗎? 326 00:18:50,791 --> 00:18:54,125 ‎-沒錯,我來了,我瘋了嗎? ‎-有一點 327 00:18:54,208 --> 00:18:57,041 ‎-對,可能有一點 ‎-真是太浪漫了 328 00:18:57,125 --> 00:18:58,458 ‎天啊,我希望吧 329 00:18:58,541 --> 00:19:00,208 ‎奈德麗,我們實在… 330 00:19:01,791 --> 00:19:03,583 ‎他回來了,喬許! 331 00:19:03,666 --> 00:19:05,666 ‎有人來看你! 332 00:19:06,208 --> 00:19:09,166 ‎聯合包裹快遞員不是來看我 ‎妳簽收就行了! 333 00:19:09,250 --> 00:19:11,083 ‎不是快遞員! 334 00:19:11,708 --> 00:19:12,958 ‎上來吧! 335 00:19:30,833 --> 00:19:32,208 ‎驚喜! 336 00:19:32,875 --> 00:19:33,916 ‎奈德麗? 337 00:19:35,958 --> 00:19:37,583 ‎妳來這裡幹什麼? 338 00:19:37,666 --> 00:19:39,750 ‎給你一個聖誕節驚喜! 339 00:19:42,500 --> 00:19:43,333 ‎我… 340 00:19:50,500 --> 00:19:52,625 ‎忘了拿行李,我要去… 341 00:19:54,541 --> 00:19:56,250 ‎喬許,去幫她拿行李 342 00:19:56,333 --> 00:19:57,541 ‎奈德麗! 343 00:19:57,625 --> 00:19:59,000 ‎做得好,喬許 344 00:19:59,083 --> 00:20:01,333 ‎不,不可能發生這種事 345 00:20:01,416 --> 00:20:02,625 ‎聽我說,我可以解釋! 346 00:20:03,500 --> 00:20:04,708 ‎我不明白 347 00:20:04,791 --> 00:20:08,500 ‎我們聊過天,我確定過…那照片! 348 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:12,041 ‎上面有我的名字 ‎你寫:“再見,奈德麗!” 349 00:20:12,666 --> 00:20:14,250 ‎我很擅長改圖 350 00:20:15,458 --> 00:20:18,333 ‎天啊! 351 00:20:18,416 --> 00:20:20,041 ‎好,來一下深呼吸 352 00:20:20,125 --> 00:20:22,041 ‎耶穌寶寶不行,不要 353 00:20:22,125 --> 00:20:24,291 ‎什麼樣的死變態才會捏造個人檔案 354 00:20:24,375 --> 00:20:27,083 ‎然後開始一段虛假的網路情緣? 355 00:20:27,166 --> 00:20:28,291 ‎什麼樣的變態狂 356 00:20:28,375 --> 00:20:31,208 ‎才會飛到美國的另一端 ‎在別人家門前的草坪出現? 357 00:20:31,291 --> 00:20:35,125 ‎我引述你的話說 ‎“我希望妳能來這裡陪我過聖誕節” 358 00:20:35,208 --> 00:20:38,250 ‎大家都這麼說 ‎就像“妳的寶寶好可愛” 359 00:20:38,333 --> 00:20:40,333 ‎或是“我從明天開始節食” 360 00:20:40,416 --> 00:20:43,541 ‎所有人都知道這種玩法 ‎看來不是所有人 361 00:20:46,125 --> 00:20:48,958 ‎你是在暗示這是我的錯嗎? 362 00:20:49,041 --> 00:20:52,291 ‎沒人要怪誰,好嗎? 363 00:20:52,375 --> 00:20:56,541 ‎我懂了,妳從沒跟華人交往過 ‎所以妳很驚訝! 364 00:20:56,625 --> 00:21:01,083 ‎我有,他在北京出生 ‎他的床上功夫一流 365 00:21:01,166 --> 00:21:04,041 ‎你怎麼可以騙我?我很喜歡你 366 00:21:04,125 --> 00:21:07,416 ‎對不起,我從沒打算 ‎走到這一步,好嗎? 367 00:21:07,500 --> 00:21:10,833 ‎-我們可以進去再… ‎-不,我不會進去! 368 00:21:10,916 --> 00:21:14,875 ‎我不會跟你去任何地方 ‎我再也不想見到你,知道嗎? 369 00:21:16,916 --> 00:21:20,208 ‎-妳不認得路! ‎-耶穌寶寶會帶路 370 00:21:25,625 --> 00:21:26,666 ‎耶! 371 00:21:34,125 --> 00:21:37,416 ‎嘿,再給我一杯這類青蘋果飲料 372 00:21:37,500 --> 00:21:38,875 ‎沒問題,等一下,美女 373 00:21:38,958 --> 00:21:43,750 ‎莎拉問我:“你想記憶力好一點 ‎還是陰莖大一點?” 374 00:21:43,833 --> 00:21:45,041 ‎你怎麼說? 375 00:21:45,583 --> 00:21:46,541 ‎我不記得了 376 00:21:48,958 --> 00:21:49,958 ‎加州奪命雞尾酒 377 00:21:50,041 --> 00:21:51,125 ‎加州奪命雞尾酒! 378 00:21:51,208 --> 00:21:53,375 ‎加州奪命雞尾酒! 379 00:21:53,458 --> 00:21:55,083 ‎各位聖誕快樂! 380 00:22:08,250 --> 00:22:10,708 ‎-過來這邊! ‎-把手舉起來,來打架啊 381 00:22:10,791 --> 00:22:13,875 ‎-橙味甜酒、蘭姆酒、柳橙汁 ‎-好,繼續說 382 00:22:13,958 --> 00:22:15,083 ‎-奇異果 ‎-什麼? 383 00:22:15,166 --> 00:22:16,333 ‎就這樣調吧 384 00:22:17,583 --> 00:22:20,125 ‎快點,凱瑞,接電話 385 00:22:22,416 --> 00:22:24,666 ‎告訴我妳是在他的浴室打給我 386 00:22:24,750 --> 00:22:27,166 ‎剛剛經歷了妳人生中最猛烈的高潮 387 00:22:27,791 --> 00:22:30,458 ‎妳被對方以虛假身份欺騙 ‎很難會有高潮吧! 388 00:22:30,541 --> 00:22:31,916 ‎閉嘴,妳在開玩笑嗎? 389 00:22:35,541 --> 00:22:36,750 ‎天啊 390 00:22:40,208 --> 00:22:42,166 ‎妳說那個人確實存在,他在那裡? 391 00:22:42,250 --> 00:22:43,083 ‎對 392 00:22:43,166 --> 00:22:46,000 ‎那不是巧合,賤人 ‎那是上帝的徵兆 393 00:22:46,083 --> 00:22:47,291 ‎妳絕對應該努力爭取 394 00:22:47,375 --> 00:22:50,916 ‎妳的樣貌在洛杉磯有6分 ‎在普萊西德湖應該是10分美女吧? 395 00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:52,208 ‎妳為了自己 396 00:22:52,291 --> 00:22:54,916 ‎和妳的五萬飛行哩程積分 ‎好應該努力爭取 397 00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:57,000 ‎再說,妳有什麼損失? 398 00:22:57,083 --> 00:23:00,041 ‎我最後的一小片自尊心呢? 399 00:23:00,125 --> 00:23:02,750 ‎自尊心早就沒有了,小奈 ‎再說妳想想自己要寫的故事 400 00:23:02,833 --> 00:23:05,458 ‎天啊,李爾會承認自己錯了 401 00:23:05,541 --> 00:23:08,000 ‎妳要去,妳要這麼做 402 00:23:08,083 --> 00:23:11,333 ‎我要妳吸引 ‎那粗獷大帥哥的注意,懂嗎? 403 00:23:11,416 --> 00:23:14,416 ‎妳行的,去吧,我愛妳,晚點打給我 404 00:23:24,250 --> 00:23:26,416 ‎-妳們的酒,喝個痛快 ‎-謝謝 405 00:23:26,500 --> 00:23:28,333 ‎對不起,我比妳更需要喝這個 406 00:23:28,416 --> 00:23:29,333 ‎喂! 407 00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:31,708 ‎我要讓全場… 408 00:23:33,083 --> 00:23:34,541 ‎嗨翻天 409 00:23:41,125 --> 00:23:42,041 ‎嘿! 410 00:23:42,125 --> 00:23:44,375 ‎我的酒呢?誰喝了我的酒? 411 00:23:45,208 --> 00:23:46,583 ‎好,唱什麼歌? 412 00:23:48,625 --> 00:23:50,291 ‎我們是要唱聖誕歌 413 00:23:50,375 --> 00:23:52,166 ‎照播就好,麻煩你 414 00:23:55,625 --> 00:24:01,958 ‎好,接下來是奈德麗 ‎演唱她心目中的聖誕歌曲 415 00:24:02,041 --> 00:24:04,083 ‎我的天啊 416 00:24:25,416 --> 00:24:26,416 ‎太好了! 417 00:24:51,500 --> 00:24:53,916 ‎尊重一點,她有病 418 00:24:59,416 --> 00:25:00,500 ‎我是基督徒! 419 00:25:09,708 --> 00:25:10,708 ‎好 420 00:25:16,916 --> 00:25:17,916 ‎小心 421 00:25:35,166 --> 00:25:37,666 ‎天啊! 422 00:25:37,750 --> 00:25:38,916 ‎天啊! 423 00:25:43,791 --> 00:25:46,291 ‎好!表現非常穩當 424 00:25:47,458 --> 00:25:49,375 ‎拿著,妳把這些東西留在裡面 425 00:25:50,333 --> 00:25:54,000 ‎該死,一定是酒裡有奇異果 426 00:25:54,083 --> 00:25:54,958 ‎什麼? 427 00:25:55,625 --> 00:25:57,708 ‎在哪裡? 428 00:25:57,791 --> 00:25:59,000 ‎什麼在哪裡? 429 00:26:01,916 --> 00:26:03,333 ‎我的腎上腺素注射筆! 430 00:26:05,375 --> 00:26:06,833 ‎糟糕! 431 00:26:13,833 --> 00:26:16,458 ‎謝天謝地妳沒死 432 00:26:17,208 --> 00:26:18,708 ‎我在哪裡? 433 00:26:18,791 --> 00:26:19,958 ‎醫院 434 00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:27,791 ‎你帶我去看獸醫? 435 00:26:27,875 --> 00:26:32,041 ‎去人類醫院要開車30分鐘 ‎我不想冒險 436 00:26:32,125 --> 00:26:35,208 ‎但放鬆點 ‎福伊醫生是鎮上最好的獸醫 437 00:26:36,125 --> 00:26:40,541 ‎妳好,我是福伊醫生 ‎哇,妳看起來好多了 438 00:26:41,125 --> 00:26:42,083 ‎對吧? 439 00:26:42,166 --> 00:26:44,291 ‎幸好喬許帶你來,因為妳好像… 440 00:26:45,333 --> 00:26:46,500 ‎妳會沒事的 441 00:26:46,583 --> 00:26:49,875 ‎妳想待多久都可以,隨便吃幾塊餅乾 442 00:26:49,958 --> 00:26:51,666 ‎-謝謝 ‎-謝謝,醫生 443 00:26:54,375 --> 00:26:57,583 ‎妳今晚遇到真正的阿德吧? 444 00:26:58,250 --> 00:27:01,666 ‎妳真的覺得 ‎搔首弄姿地唱歌會有用嗎? 445 00:27:01,750 --> 00:27:05,541 ‎這裡不是洛杉磯 ‎阿德也不是洛杉磯人 446 00:27:05,625 --> 00:27:09,666 ‎很多辣妹經常撩他 ‎她們用的方法都一樣 447 00:27:09,750 --> 00:27:12,500 ‎如果妳希望他注意妳 ‎就要做與別不同的事 448 00:27:12,583 --> 00:27:14,333 ‎他今晚注意到我 449 00:27:14,416 --> 00:27:18,333 ‎老實說,妳的臉超級腫 ‎根本像豬頭一樣 450 00:27:18,416 --> 00:27:20,250 ‎我懷疑他會不會認得妳 451 00:27:20,333 --> 00:27:22,000 ‎我對他一無所知 452 00:27:22,083 --> 00:27:23,500 ‎但我很了解他 453 00:27:24,041 --> 00:27:27,208 ‎不僅因為我和阿德 ‎在國二之前一直都是最好的朋友 454 00:27:27,291 --> 00:27:30,333 ‎而且我過去兩星期一直在扮他 455 00:27:30,416 --> 00:27:31,250 ‎那又怎樣? 456 00:27:31,333 --> 00:27:35,000 ‎我比他本人更了解他 457 00:27:35,083 --> 00:27:37,125 ‎我可以幫妳追到他 458 00:27:38,541 --> 00:27:39,875 ‎你為什麼要這麼做? 459 00:27:40,458 --> 00:27:44,833 ‎或許如果我幫了妳 ‎妳可以為我做點什麼作回報 460 00:27:46,541 --> 00:27:49,375 ‎我不會跟你上床 461 00:27:49,458 --> 00:27:53,041 ‎不!我完全不是這個意思 462 00:27:53,666 --> 00:27:59,250 ‎我在想或許 ‎妳可以扮我的女朋友直到聖誕節 463 00:28:01,833 --> 00:28:02,708 ‎為什麼? 464 00:28:03,416 --> 00:28:08,000 ‎妳看到我父母 ‎以為妳是我女友的樣子嗎? 465 00:28:08,583 --> 00:28:09,958 ‎好,你瘋了 466 00:28:11,083 --> 00:28:14,333 ‎他們看到我跟妳交往就大功告成了 467 00:28:14,416 --> 00:28:16,208 ‎我是說,就是… 468 00:28:16,958 --> 00:28:17,791 ‎看看妳 469 00:28:18,291 --> 00:28:20,666 ‎一個星期就足夠了 470 00:28:20,750 --> 00:28:24,958 ‎然後我們演一場分手戲 ‎妳就可以永遠擺脫我 471 00:28:27,791 --> 00:28:31,166 ‎(我要在週末前看到幾頁故事) 472 00:28:35,708 --> 00:28:36,958 ‎你會幫我追阿德? 473 00:28:37,041 --> 00:28:40,458 ‎對!你們會在新年前相戀 474 00:28:40,541 --> 00:28:42,666 ‎明年感恩節就會生孩子 475 00:28:43,500 --> 00:28:46,416 ‎對了,妳有保險嗎?他們在問我 476 00:28:48,416 --> 00:28:50,333 ‎歡迎來到我的小窩 477 00:28:50,416 --> 00:28:52,333 ‎魔法就是在這裡出現 478 00:28:52,958 --> 00:28:57,541 ‎這只是慣常的說法 ‎魔法根本少之又少 479 00:28:57,625 --> 00:29:00,250 ‎但就有一台迷你冰箱 ‎裡面有各種汽水 480 00:29:00,333 --> 00:29:04,041 ‎這裡有洗衣房、浴室 ‎妳也可以玩桌上足球台 481 00:29:04,958 --> 00:29:08,000 ‎我喜歡你在這裡的佈置 482 00:29:08,583 --> 00:29:11,125 ‎幾乎都是暫時性的 483 00:29:11,208 --> 00:29:15,791 ‎我的公寓正在翻修 ‎它被煙燻黑了,那麼… 484 00:29:17,708 --> 00:29:20,625 ‎晚安,請不必拘束 485 00:29:22,333 --> 00:29:23,166 ‎不行 486 00:29:23,250 --> 00:29:25,416 ‎你,馬上去睡地板 487 00:29:26,750 --> 00:29:29,833 ‎這是我家裡唯一的丹普記憶床墊 ‎而且我有背痛 488 00:29:29,916 --> 00:29:34,750 ‎我不管你是不是 ‎要睡這張床才不會全身癱瘓 489 00:29:34,833 --> 00:29:35,833 ‎我們不會同床睡 490 00:29:35,916 --> 00:29:38,958 ‎-我們把枕頭放在中間呢? ‎-不 491 00:29:39,041 --> 00:29:42,000 ‎-我們頭對腳睡呢? ‎-無論你說什麼,答案都是不行 492 00:29:45,166 --> 00:29:48,333 ‎我們應該討論一下釣魚交友這問題 493 00:29:48,416 --> 00:29:51,041 ‎你知道你總有一天要跟我見面 494 00:29:51,541 --> 00:29:56,541 ‎我最初不是想要扮別人來認識妳 ‎事情就是發生了 495 00:29:56,625 --> 00:29:57,875 ‎事情就是發生了? 496 00:29:58,583 --> 00:30:01,750 ‎我的個人檔案放上網一年了 ‎妳猜我跟多少人配對過 497 00:30:02,625 --> 00:30:03,458 ‎三個 498 00:30:03,541 --> 00:30:06,333 ‎其中一個還是我以前的英文老師 499 00:30:06,416 --> 00:30:08,833 ‎她今年70歲了,還安裝了心臟節律器 500 00:30:08,916 --> 00:30:11,500 ‎跟她上床肯定會害死她 501 00:30:12,708 --> 00:30:14,083 ‎所以我當作做實驗 502 00:30:14,166 --> 00:30:17,625 ‎我心想不如用一張標準帥哥的照片 503 00:30:17,708 --> 00:30:21,000 ‎看看會有什麼結果 ‎結果我在五分鐘內就配對了85次 504 00:30:21,083 --> 00:30:24,458 ‎顯然有很多女孩想找對象 ‎她們只是不想結識我 505 00:30:24,541 --> 00:30:27,541 ‎你真的是想要博取同情嗎? 506 00:30:27,625 --> 00:30:29,791 ‎你無話可說 507 00:30:30,291 --> 00:30:31,875 ‎-我會… ‎-無話可說! 508 00:30:32,791 --> 00:30:35,458 ‎但一言既出,駟馬難追 ‎我們就把戲演完吧 509 00:30:37,416 --> 00:30:39,458 ‎(瓊奶奶的愛) 510 00:30:42,833 --> 00:30:45,000 ‎(我不行了!呵!呵!呵!) 511 00:30:46,375 --> 00:30:47,250 ‎好 512 00:30:51,625 --> 00:30:53,000 ‎而且你得把字寫在手上 513 00:30:54,208 --> 00:30:56,791 ‎他一直脫手套,雙手都凍僵了 514 00:30:56,875 --> 00:30:59,791 ‎爸爸,我以為你的手指肯定會脫落! 515 00:30:59,875 --> 00:31:00,791 ‎奈德麗! 516 00:31:01,291 --> 00:31:05,166 ‎進來,過來吧 ‎跟我們一起吃早餐,我們剛坐下來 517 00:31:05,666 --> 00:31:08,625 ‎我應該去洗個澡 518 00:31:08,708 --> 00:31:13,666 ‎我肯定妳看起來很美 ‎但坦白說,我眼睛看不見 519 00:31:14,791 --> 00:31:16,041 ‎請坐 520 00:31:16,625 --> 00:31:18,916 ‎看起來都很好吃 521 00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:22,375 ‎請隨便吃,要培根嗎? 522 00:31:22,458 --> 00:31:24,500 ‎-她是素食者 ‎-我是素食者 523 00:31:25,291 --> 00:31:26,666 ‎但謝謝你,林先生 524 00:31:26,750 --> 00:31:29,333 ‎你們這對小情侶昨晚跑到哪裡去了? 525 00:31:29,416 --> 00:31:31,666 ‎我們去麥格雷戈酒吧唱歌 526 00:31:32,291 --> 00:31:33,583 ‎怎麼樣? 527 00:31:34,166 --> 00:31:35,416 ‎就是… 528 00:31:36,541 --> 00:31:38,458 ‎“腫”算很不錯?奈德麗,對吧? 529 00:31:39,208 --> 00:31:42,291 ‎我想聽聽你們是怎麼認識的 530 00:31:42,375 --> 00:31:45,750 ‎就是在交友軟體認識,沒什麼特別 531 00:31:45,833 --> 00:31:49,291 ‎就是不斷傳簡訊 ‎之後她就坐在我旁邊了 532 00:31:49,375 --> 00:31:50,583 ‎我來了 533 00:31:51,750 --> 00:31:52,958 ‎真胡鬧 534 00:31:53,041 --> 00:31:56,208 ‎以前人們墜入愛河 ‎或跟對方分手,全憑書信 535 00:31:56,291 --> 00:31:59,125 ‎筆墨勝於陰莖 536 00:31:59,208 --> 00:32:02,916 ‎奶奶,我們有客人呢 ‎趁熱把雞蛋吃掉吧 537 00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:05,750 ‎奈德麗,喬許哪方面 ‎最先吸引到妳的注意? 538 00:32:06,916 --> 00:32:08,250 ‎天啊,就是… 539 00:32:08,958 --> 00:32:10,291 ‎我不知道該從何說起 540 00:32:10,375 --> 00:32:14,125 ‎他的個人檔案有很多難以置信的東西 541 00:32:14,625 --> 00:32:19,083 ‎他的照片,我看了一下他的髮型 ‎他獨特的體格 542 00:32:19,166 --> 00:32:20,791 ‎他的下顎線條… 543 00:32:21,916 --> 00:32:24,375 ‎我心想:“好得難以置信了吧” 544 00:32:24,458 --> 00:32:27,416 ‎他這幾年輪廓變分明多了 545 00:32:27,500 --> 00:32:31,166 ‎但吸引我的不僅是他的照片 546 00:32:31,250 --> 00:32:33,875 ‎他的個人簡介,他熱愛人生 547 00:32:33,958 --> 00:32:35,708 ‎熱愛戶外生活 548 00:32:35,791 --> 00:32:38,208 ‎嘿,他提到店子了 549 00:32:39,125 --> 00:32:41,708 ‎店子是我父親50年前開的 550 00:32:41,791 --> 00:32:43,416 ‎現在由我經營,喬許是銷售員 551 00:32:44,458 --> 00:32:48,125 ‎-我們吃早餐時不必談店子的事 ‎-但你的工作真的很有趣 552 00:32:48,208 --> 00:32:49,916 ‎而且一定要到處遊歷 553 00:32:50,625 --> 00:32:53,333 ‎如果妳把去蘋果蜂餐廳 ‎吃午餐也計算在內 554 00:32:53,416 --> 00:32:54,750 ‎那喬許每天都在遊歷 555 00:32:57,458 --> 00:32:58,583 ‎蘋果蜂餐廳! 556 00:32:59,916 --> 00:33:01,041 ‎蘋果蜂餐廳! 557 00:33:01,125 --> 00:33:02,333 ‎蘋果蜂餐廳! 558 00:33:02,416 --> 00:33:05,500 ‎我一直想加入交友網站 559 00:33:05,583 --> 00:33:10,500 ‎我的朋友達琳住在閃松療養院 ‎她加入了一個叫銀髮玩意的網站後 560 00:33:10,583 --> 00:33:13,916 ‎比教堂的長木椅見到更多屁股 561 00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:15,083 ‎好了,奶奶! 562 00:33:15,166 --> 00:33:17,416 ‎-媽媽 ‎-說真的,那就… 563 00:33:17,500 --> 00:33:20,500 ‎我想要借用妳的專長 ‎建立我的個人檔案 564 00:33:21,250 --> 00:33:22,750 ‎-對,好的 ‎-好 565 00:33:22,833 --> 00:33:23,791 ‎可以看看妳的嗎? 566 00:33:23,875 --> 00:33:26,166 ‎可以讓我看看喬許的檔案嗎? 567 00:33:27,416 --> 00:33:29,708 ‎-我的手機在樓下 ‎-或許待會吧,奶奶 568 00:33:29,791 --> 00:33:31,708 ‎我和奈德麗要出去 569 00:33:31,791 --> 00:33:35,208 ‎我要帶她參觀普萊西德湖和店子 570 00:33:35,291 --> 00:33:36,708 ‎好主意 571 00:33:36,791 --> 00:33:37,916 ‎-玩得開心 ‎-好 572 00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:39,666 ‎-把吐司拿去,妳還沒吃 ‎-小心開車 573 00:33:40,291 --> 00:33:41,208 ‎對 574 00:33:42,083 --> 00:33:43,250 ‎-好吃! ‎-她愛吃吐司! 575 00:33:51,041 --> 00:33:55,166 ‎妳首先要知道阿德 ‎喜歡戶外型和愛冒險的女生 576 00:33:55,250 --> 00:33:58,208 ‎而不是計算碳水化合物的IG模特兒 577 00:33:58,291 --> 00:34:00,500 ‎我沒有計算,我是密切留意 578 00:34:00,583 --> 00:34:04,041 ‎好,隨妳怎麼說,妳穿幾號? 579 00:34:04,125 --> 00:34:07,375 ‎不關你的事 ‎再說我的衣服有什麼問題? 580 00:34:07,458 --> 00:34:09,416 ‎妳要擺出一副輕鬆,滿不在乎的樣子 581 00:34:09,500 --> 00:34:13,208 ‎所以妳就換上這些 ‎因為阿德隨時會來到 582 00:34:13,291 --> 00:34:14,125 ‎什麼? 583 00:34:14,208 --> 00:34:16,750 ‎已經跟他約好了,我叫他11點來 584 00:34:16,833 --> 00:34:18,916 ‎還有拿著這本書 585 00:34:19,833 --> 00:34:23,375 ‎《湖濱散記》?你開玩笑嗎? ‎梭羅是個混蛋 586 00:34:23,458 --> 00:34:26,416 ‎妳假裝喜歡吧,因為阿德最喜歡這書 587 00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:30,166 ‎還有!妳跟他說話時 ‎加入一些攀岩術語 588 00:34:30,250 --> 00:34:31,625 ‎他最喜歡 589 00:34:41,583 --> 00:34:43,791 ‎-阿德,怎麼了? ‎-嘿,兄弟,還好嗎? 590 00:34:43,875 --> 00:34:44,958 ‎嘿,老兄 591 00:34:45,041 --> 00:34:47,458 ‎-是阿德嗎?美國隊長! ‎-你好嗎? 592 00:34:51,583 --> 00:34:55,291 ‎-你超強壯! ‎-謝謝,很高興見到你,林先生 593 00:34:55,375 --> 00:34:58,291 ‎-我聽說你有些登山扣給我? ‎-沒錯,就在後面 594 00:34:59,375 --> 00:35:02,041 ‎-我今天要介紹你認識一個人 ‎-好 595 00:35:02,125 --> 00:35:02,958 ‎對 596 00:35:03,958 --> 00:35:06,500 ‎-你拿到我的新衣服嗎? ‎-隨時都準備好 597 00:35:07,625 --> 00:35:10,583 ‎阿德,我想介紹你認識我表妹奈德麗 598 00:35:10,666 --> 00:35:13,875 ‎奈德麗,我想介紹妳認識 ‎我的老朋友阿德 599 00:35:16,166 --> 00:35:17,375 ‎你們是表兄妹嗎? 600 00:35:18,708 --> 00:35:20,875 ‎對,嗯… 601 00:35:20,958 --> 00:35:24,958 ‎她是我繼母那邊的 ‎所以嚴格來說,我們是繼表兄妹 602 00:35:25,583 --> 00:35:29,291 ‎除非你是來自阿拉巴馬州 ‎否則這區別無關痛癢 603 00:35:32,041 --> 00:35:33,541 ‎她超搞笑 604 00:35:35,416 --> 00:35:36,250 ‎對 605 00:35:37,708 --> 00:35:38,541 ‎《湖濱散記》? 606 00:35:41,166 --> 00:35:43,666 ‎我最喜歡這書,每年都重看一遍 607 00:35:43,750 --> 00:35:44,708 ‎-真的嗎? ‎-對 608 00:35:44,791 --> 00:35:45,625 ‎哇 609 00:35:45,708 --> 00:35:47,125 ‎-不會吧! ‎-對 610 00:35:47,875 --> 00:35:49,000 ‎梭羅是最棒的,對吧? 611 00:35:50,166 --> 00:35:53,666 ‎有些人覺得他超級自戀 612 00:35:53,750 --> 00:35:56,666 ‎癡迷於約束自我 ‎更是個徹頭徹尾的偽君子了 613 00:35:56,750 --> 00:35:59,750 ‎但我個人來看 ‎我認為他很能啟發別人 614 00:36:02,083 --> 00:36:05,958 ‎“與其著眼愛情、名利 615 00:36:07,208 --> 00:36:08,250 ‎不如給我真相” 616 00:36:11,375 --> 00:36:14,791 ‎對不起,這句話每次都打動到我 617 00:36:16,375 --> 00:36:18,458 ‎如果有人懂你的感受,一定就是我 618 00:36:18,541 --> 00:36:21,791 ‎天啊,我們見過面嗎? 619 00:36:21,875 --> 00:36:25,666 ‎因為妳很眼熟 ‎但我說不出在哪裡見過妳 620 00:36:25,750 --> 00:36:28,875 ‎不太可能,奈德麗今早才從加州飛來 621 00:36:28,958 --> 00:36:29,791 ‎今天早上 622 00:36:29,875 --> 00:36:32,875 ‎我每年夏天 ‎都會在優勝美地教生存課程 623 00:36:32,958 --> 00:36:34,041 ‎真猛! 624 00:36:35,666 --> 00:36:37,291 ‎妳可以這麼說 625 00:36:37,375 --> 00:36:43,375 ‎我很喜歡優勝美地 ‎那裡有非常刺激的攀爬活動 626 00:36:43,458 --> 00:36:44,500 ‎妳玩攀爬活動嗎? 627 00:36:45,166 --> 00:36:49,250 ‎我?我玩攀爬活動嗎? ‎我會爬上任何能移動的東西 628 00:36:51,791 --> 00:36:53,166 ‎我很拼 629 00:36:53,250 --> 00:36:56,291 ‎-很拼? ‎-對,很有衝勁的意思 630 00:36:57,000 --> 00:36:58,208 ‎很有衝勁的攀爬愛好者 631 00:36:58,291 --> 00:37:00,750 ‎我什麼東西都攀爬 632 00:37:01,375 --> 00:37:05,791 ‎例如梯子、房子、樹木 633 00:37:05,875 --> 00:37:06,958 ‎梯子… 634 00:37:08,666 --> 00:37:10,000 ‎主要是梯子 635 00:37:10,083 --> 00:37:11,000 ‎太棒了 636 00:37:11,833 --> 00:37:14,791 ‎我們幾個人明天 ‎會去攀石中心攀岩,你們想來嗎? 637 00:37:15,375 --> 00:37:17,875 ‎-好耶!一起玩吧 ‎-太好了 638 00:37:17,958 --> 00:37:19,625 ‎-早上10點鐘好嗎? ‎-非常好 639 00:37:20,333 --> 00:37:23,666 ‎很高興認識妳,奈德麗,明天10點見 640 00:37:23,750 --> 00:37:24,583 ‎再見,兄弟 641 00:37:25,166 --> 00:37:26,458 ‎在攀岩場再見! 642 00:37:29,375 --> 00:37:30,250 ‎真猛? 643 00:37:30,333 --> 00:37:31,708 ‎非常刺激? 644 00:37:31,791 --> 00:37:33,125 ‎很拼? 645 00:37:33,208 --> 00:37:35,166 ‎是你叫我加一些術語! 646 00:37:35,250 --> 00:37:38,250 ‎真正的術語是“援繩而下” ‎和“繫帶”之類,妳聽起來像是得了 647 00:37:38,333 --> 00:37:39,333 ‎千禧世代妥瑞症! 648 00:37:39,416 --> 00:37:42,166 ‎你知道嗎?我們還有更大的難題 649 00:37:42,250 --> 00:37:46,416 ‎我爬下床時也曾經摔斷腳趾 ‎我怎麼攀岩牆? 650 00:37:46,500 --> 00:37:50,541 ‎我可以在這裡教妳,妳可以有多爛? 651 00:37:51,916 --> 00:37:54,125 ‎-好,妳下來吧! ‎-我撐不住了! 652 00:37:54,208 --> 00:37:56,291 ‎踏這裡,來吧 653 00:37:58,750 --> 00:37:59,750 ‎我的老天啊 654 00:38:00,250 --> 00:38:06,500 ‎關鍵是別老想著牆壁 ‎集中精神在妳第一個動作 655 00:38:07,083 --> 00:38:07,958 ‎妳看著 656 00:38:08,041 --> 00:38:11,166 ‎然後,第二個動作,明白嗎? 657 00:38:11,250 --> 00:38:13,250 ‎到第三個動作 658 00:38:13,791 --> 00:38:18,083 ‎明白嗎?偉大的事情 ‎都是由一連串的小事組成的 659 00:38:20,916 --> 00:38:22,666 ‎真有見地呢 660 00:38:22,750 --> 00:38:25,416 ‎梵谷的名言 ‎歡迎妳之後在阿德面前賣弄一下 661 00:38:25,958 --> 00:38:27,041 ‎有什麼問題嗎? 662 00:38:27,125 --> 00:38:28,375 ‎他高中時是什麼模樣? 663 00:38:28,958 --> 00:38:30,208 ‎跟妳預料的一樣 664 00:38:30,291 --> 00:38:34,083 ‎班會主席,舞會之王,足球隊主將 665 00:38:34,708 --> 00:38:36,458 ‎你們怎麼不再做朋友? 666 00:38:37,250 --> 00:38:38,666 ‎因為他變成萬人迷了 667 00:38:39,500 --> 00:38:40,583 ‎那你呢? 668 00:38:41,208 --> 00:38:42,083 ‎我不是 669 00:38:46,291 --> 00:38:47,291 ‎繼續吧,加油 670 00:38:50,541 --> 00:38:51,916 ‎不妨告訴你 671 00:38:52,708 --> 00:38:54,458 ‎我也算是醜小鴨變天鵝 672 00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:56,958 ‎我很難相信 673 00:38:57,458 --> 00:39:02,791 ‎如果不是隱形牙套和暗瘡特效藥 ‎你在交友軟體也不會看上我 674 00:39:02,875 --> 00:39:06,583 ‎如果不是因為阿德的照片 ‎妳也不會看上我 675 00:39:07,375 --> 00:39:09,000 ‎我到目前為止表現得怎樣? 676 00:39:09,083 --> 00:39:10,833 ‎-妳做得很好 ‎-是嗎? 677 00:39:13,500 --> 00:39:15,916 ‎-你有洗衣籃嗎? ‎-在櫃子那邊 678 00:39:25,500 --> 00:39:27,875 ‎你就是這樣烹煮受害者的嗎? 679 00:39:27,958 --> 00:39:32,541 ‎小心!那是製作蠟燭的蠟爐,超貴 680 00:39:32,625 --> 00:39:33,750 ‎好 681 00:39:34,416 --> 00:39:36,625 ‎瓊奶奶製作蠟燭? 682 00:39:36,708 --> 00:39:38,458 ‎對,是她其中一個嗜好 683 00:39:40,083 --> 00:39:41,625 ‎林喬許? 684 00:39:41,708 --> 00:39:43,333 ‎好吧,沒關係,是我的東西 685 00:39:43,416 --> 00:39:47,125 ‎男生除了打獵和負責買單之外 ‎還可以做其他事情,好嗎? 686 00:39:47,208 --> 00:39:50,458 ‎況且我視它為一門生意多於嗜好 687 00:39:51,041 --> 00:39:52,625 ‎-好 ‎-等等! 688 00:39:52,708 --> 00:39:54,166 ‎-看看你有什麼東西 ‎-別這樣! 689 00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:55,916 ‎好了 690 00:39:59,416 --> 00:40:02,458 ‎妳知道,蠟燭只銷售給女性 691 00:40:02,541 --> 00:40:05,000 ‎氣味都像花和糖果 692 00:40:05,083 --> 00:40:08,833 ‎都改“甜蜜愛撫”或“流星”之類的名字 693 00:40:08,916 --> 00:40:11,333 ‎堂堂男子漢的公寓即使臭氣沖天 694 00:40:11,416 --> 00:40:13,958 ‎他們都不會買這種蠟燭 695 00:40:14,041 --> 00:40:18,916 ‎所以我創造了反映男人特質的 696 00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:21,250 ‎陽剛蠟燭系列 697 00:40:21,333 --> 00:40:24,541 ‎我沒看到“強迫性說謊者” 698 00:40:24,625 --> 00:40:27,208 ‎“不蓋回馬桶座圈” ‎或“不會問路”這些名字的蠟燭 699 00:40:27,291 --> 00:40:29,000 ‎妳隨便開玩笑吧 700 00:40:29,083 --> 00:40:32,375 ‎但美國五成的蠟燭市場備受忽略 701 00:40:32,458 --> 00:40:34,250 ‎那你為什麼不做他們生意? 702 00:40:34,333 --> 00:40:35,625 ‎因為做生意要花錢 703 00:40:36,166 --> 00:40:39,250 ‎那就跟你爸借錢啊 ‎我覺得他是目標客戶 704 00:40:39,333 --> 00:40:40,625 ‎-你見過他嗎? ‎-見過 705 00:40:40,708 --> 00:40:42,833 ‎-樓上那個亞裔老頭? ‎-對 706 00:40:42,916 --> 00:40:46,083 ‎他只對運動型和陽剛的東西感興趣 707 00:40:46,166 --> 00:40:50,125 ‎而且他和我哥哥會嘲笑我 708 00:40:50,875 --> 00:40:53,708 ‎-你有哥哥? ‎-遊子回家了! 709 00:40:54,291 --> 00:40:56,500 ‎聖誕節現在可以開始了! 710 00:40:57,000 --> 00:40:58,750 ‎說曹操,曹操就到 711 00:40:58,833 --> 00:41:02,208 ‎歐文回來了!現在是聖誕節了! 712 00:41:02,291 --> 00:41:04,125 ‎是我的寶貝嗎? 713 00:41:05,166 --> 00:41:06,625 ‎-歐文! ‎-媽媽! 714 00:41:07,541 --> 00:41:08,541 ‎嗨,切爾西! 715 00:41:09,041 --> 00:41:10,291 ‎聖誕快樂 716 00:41:17,250 --> 00:41:19,791 ‎你一直在舉我買給你的啞鈴,厲害! 717 00:41:19,875 --> 00:41:22,583 ‎妳一直在忙著新房子的事! 718 00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:26,375 ‎-你很精神 ‎-謝謝 719 00:41:28,541 --> 00:41:29,958 ‎嘿,小喬許! 720 00:41:30,041 --> 00:41:32,000 ‎-弟弟,怎麼了? ‎-歐文,你好嗎? 721 00:41:32,083 --> 00:41:33,375 ‎聖誕快樂 722 00:41:36,458 --> 00:41:38,875 ‎喔,這位是誰? 723 00:41:39,583 --> 00:41:42,125 ‎她是奈德麗 724 00:41:42,958 --> 00:41:44,708 ‎她是奶奶的新看護嗎? 725 00:41:45,291 --> 00:41:48,041 ‎-不是 ‎-她一定是媽媽新讀書會的成員 726 00:41:48,125 --> 00:41:50,916 ‎-不,她是… ‎-該死 727 00:41:51,708 --> 00:41:53,125 ‎又是互助小組嗎? 728 00:41:53,208 --> 00:41:56,750 ‎不是,親愛的 ‎奈德麗是你弟弟的女朋友 729 00:42:01,291 --> 00:42:03,041 ‎喔,你們是認真的 730 00:42:03,125 --> 00:42:04,958 ‎-真的嗎? ‎-真的 731 00:42:05,916 --> 00:42:10,125 ‎喔!太棒了 732 00:42:10,916 --> 00:42:13,750 ‎我們剛剛在車上談過,對吧? 733 00:42:13,833 --> 00:42:16,708 ‎-我們剛剛才聊到這事情 ‎-我們聊了好幾個小時 734 00:42:16,791 --> 00:42:19,291 ‎小喬許怎麼還單身? 735 00:42:19,791 --> 00:42:21,833 ‎因為他還住在家裡 736 00:42:21,916 --> 00:42:24,083 ‎眼鏡讓他變醜 737 00:42:24,166 --> 00:42:25,000 ‎對,沒錯 738 00:42:25,083 --> 00:42:29,166 ‎-我好興奮,妳興奮嗎? ‎-我好興奮 739 00:42:29,250 --> 00:42:30,916 ‎這簡直是聖誕奇蹟 740 00:42:31,750 --> 00:42:33,791 ‎非常感謝妳,奈德莎 741 00:42:35,583 --> 00:42:39,250 ‎你知道嗎?我才感到榮幸呢,奧文 742 00:42:55,500 --> 00:42:58,750 ‎說到股票,今年的股市很瘋狂 743 00:42:58,833 --> 00:42:59,833 ‎好瘋狂 744 00:42:59,916 --> 00:43:03,708 ‎很多人買了大量中國輪胎的股票 ‎他們除了貞操,什麼都失去了 745 00:43:06,125 --> 00:43:09,208 ‎天啊 746 00:43:09,791 --> 00:43:10,750 ‎看看這個 747 00:43:10,833 --> 00:43:12,833 ‎看看我的小寶貝 748 00:43:12,916 --> 00:43:14,750 ‎-看看特大號小喬許 ‎-不要 749 00:43:14,833 --> 00:43:17,000 ‎-我們不必… ‎-對!你記得這個嗎? 750 00:43:17,083 --> 00:43:19,500 ‎這是我最愛的裝飾品 751 00:43:20,083 --> 00:43:23,958 ‎哎呀,你真可愛,喬許 ‎看看這鼠尾辮,看到嗎? 752 00:43:24,041 --> 00:43:25,416 ‎你太可愛了! 753 00:43:25,500 --> 00:43:28,666 ‎-還有胖胖的小臉蛋! ‎-他才八歲 754 00:43:29,166 --> 00:43:32,958 ‎我其實很感恩我青春期長很醜 755 00:43:33,041 --> 00:43:35,958 ‎有助培養我的抗壓力和同理心 756 00:43:36,041 --> 00:43:38,666 ‎如果不是這樣,我大概會成為 757 00:43:38,750 --> 00:43:42,458 ‎一個無視他人感受 ‎老愛引人注意的爛人吧? 758 00:43:45,916 --> 00:43:46,875 ‎妳以前是胖妞吧? 759 00:43:55,000 --> 00:43:55,833 ‎這個放哪裡? 760 00:43:56,458 --> 00:44:00,250 ‎這個要放在樹頂 761 00:44:02,291 --> 00:44:05,833 ‎每年都由我放上樹頂 ‎是一種傳統,沒什麼大不了 762 00:44:05,916 --> 00:44:09,083 ‎我在想今年不如讓奈德麗放上去 763 00:44:09,166 --> 00:44:12,500 ‎因為她第一次來我們家 ‎也是我們的客人 764 00:44:12,583 --> 00:44:14,708 ‎對,沒問題 765 00:44:20,708 --> 00:44:21,666 ‎-謝謝 ‎-好 766 00:44:23,041 --> 00:44:25,458 ‎-她割傷我 ‎-沒關係,寶貝 767 00:44:25,541 --> 00:44:27,541 ‎-扶穩她,喬許 ‎-我扶住她了 768 00:44:27,625 --> 00:44:29,541 ‎-小心 ‎-就放在樹頂 769 00:44:29,625 --> 00:44:31,583 ‎我要幫她 770 00:44:31,666 --> 00:44:34,083 ‎-行了,看看 ‎-完美! 771 00:44:34,166 --> 00:44:36,041 ‎-太歪了 ‎-很歪 772 00:44:36,125 --> 00:44:37,541 ‎-可以了 ‎-開燈 773 00:44:37,625 --> 00:44:39,166 ‎我午夜會回來弄好它 774 00:44:40,708 --> 00:44:42,208 ‎聖誕快樂! 775 00:44:42,291 --> 00:44:43,458 ‎聖誕快樂 776 00:44:43,541 --> 00:44:44,500 ‎太好了! 777 00:44:45,458 --> 00:44:46,833 ‎(週末了,我的故事呢?) 778 00:44:46,916 --> 00:44:48,166 ‎今年大家都做得很好 779 00:44:48,250 --> 00:44:49,666 ‎除了那顆星星之外 780 00:44:49,750 --> 00:44:51,250 ‎-特別是奈德麗 ‎-對 781 00:44:56,291 --> 00:44:59,166 ‎歐文很喜歡成為眾人的焦點 782 00:44:59,708 --> 00:45:03,250 ‎喜歡成為?他必須成為,他是雙魚座 783 00:45:04,166 --> 00:45:06,291 ‎下次他想搶走大家的注意力時 784 00:45:06,833 --> 00:45:07,791 ‎你搶回來 785 00:45:08,458 --> 00:45:11,541 ‎-說說就容易 ‎-不,我是認真的,搶回來 786 00:45:13,625 --> 00:45:16,583 ‎好,快點,我們得出發了,不想遲到 787 00:45:16,666 --> 00:45:18,500 ‎阿德超級準時 788 00:45:18,583 --> 00:45:20,541 ‎我們要攀爬的那堵牆 789 00:45:20,625 --> 00:45:22,166 ‎像我們在你店攀的那堵牆嗎? 790 00:45:22,750 --> 00:45:24,416 ‎-對,差不多 ‎-好 791 00:45:29,708 --> 00:45:31,916 ‎奈德麗!妳要上來嗎? 792 00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:34,583 ‎我一定上來,很快 793 00:45:35,250 --> 00:45:38,916 ‎-你沒告訴我他是湯姆克魯斯 ‎-我以為妳很拼 794 00:45:39,000 --> 00:45:39,958 ‎我做不到 795 00:45:40,041 --> 00:45:41,583 ‎-妳可以的 ‎-把這個拿下來 796 00:45:41,666 --> 00:45:43,208 ‎不要解開,拜託 797 00:45:43,291 --> 00:45:46,416 ‎-放手!把這個拿開,不要! ‎-住手 798 00:45:46,500 --> 00:45:49,041 ‎住手,妳可以的,好嗎? 799 00:45:49,125 --> 00:45:50,041 ‎妳看 800 00:45:51,375 --> 00:45:52,250 ‎戴上這個 801 00:45:52,333 --> 00:45:53,416 ‎什麼?為什麼? 802 00:45:54,000 --> 00:45:56,708 ‎可以幫助妳放鬆,是妳最喜歡的歌 803 00:45:57,291 --> 00:45:59,291 ‎可以幫助我放鬆 804 00:45:59,791 --> 00:46:01,500 ‎對,會幫助我放… 805 00:46:04,666 --> 00:46:07,375 ‎記住,一步一步慢慢爬 806 00:46:07,458 --> 00:46:10,583 ‎-什麼? ‎-一步一步慢慢爬! 807 00:46:11,375 --> 00:46:14,208 ‎謝謝你的建議,喬許 ‎但我不是第一次攀爬 808 00:46:14,291 --> 00:46:15,625 ‎我們都知道,兄弟 809 00:46:25,500 --> 00:46:26,541 ‎去追他! 810 00:46:48,250 --> 00:46:50,916 ‎快!使出吃奶的力氣! 811 00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:52,083 ‎奈德麗,攀上去! 812 00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:10,833 ‎好耶! 813 00:47:12,208 --> 00:47:14,625 ‎你們不是說這個很難嗎… 814 00:47:15,791 --> 00:47:18,000 ‎不錯,下來吧 815 00:47:21,250 --> 00:47:26,500 ‎其實我想待在這裡一陣子,欣賞景色 816 00:47:28,750 --> 00:47:30,083 ‎-糟糕 ‎-換我了 817 00:47:30,166 --> 00:47:31,750 ‎奈德麗,妳在做什麼? 818 00:47:31,833 --> 00:47:33,916 ‎-明白嗎? ‎-注意看,你可以學到東西 819 00:47:34,000 --> 00:47:34,833 ‎好,小喬許 820 00:47:34,916 --> 00:47:36,375 ‎-加油 ‎-去吧,小喬許! 821 00:47:36,458 --> 00:47:37,416 ‎一會兒見 822 00:47:41,000 --> 00:47:42,208 ‎很棒,喬許 823 00:47:45,291 --> 00:47:47,375 ‎嘿,妳在做什麼? 824 00:47:47,875 --> 00:47:50,208 ‎困難的部分結束了,援繩而下就行 825 00:47:50,708 --> 00:47:52,958 ‎妳已通過難關了,沒事了 826 00:47:53,041 --> 00:47:56,375 ‎哎呀,我會這樣子死掉 ‎就是這樣,我的死期到了 827 00:47:56,458 --> 00:48:00,583 ‎好,我其實懂得一招幫妳下去 ‎但妳得相信我 828 00:48:00,666 --> 00:48:02,166 ‎相信那個騙我來的人嗎? 829 00:48:02,250 --> 00:48:04,958 ‎不,相信那個最初幫妳攀上來的人 830 00:48:05,041 --> 00:48:08,250 ‎聽著,我知道妳很怕,但妳可以的 831 00:48:08,333 --> 00:48:09,750 ‎而且有我在 832 00:48:10,250 --> 00:48:12,500 ‎好嗎?我保證 833 00:48:15,041 --> 00:48:15,875 ‎來吧 834 00:48:17,625 --> 00:48:19,208 ‎呼吸 835 00:48:20,875 --> 00:48:23,666 ‎太厲害了,妳一個人上來這裡 836 00:48:25,833 --> 00:48:29,125 ‎很棒,好,站起來 837 00:48:30,375 --> 00:48:31,541 ‎好,很棒 838 00:48:34,791 --> 00:48:37,833 ‎-天啊 ‎-沒事的,別往後看 839 00:48:38,625 --> 00:48:39,708 ‎好 840 00:48:39,791 --> 00:48:42,125 ‎-我辦不到,喬許 ‎-妳可以的 841 00:48:42,208 --> 00:48:45,458 ‎慢慢往後退到牆邊 842 00:48:45,541 --> 00:48:49,458 ‎-什麼?不行 ‎-對,加油,妳做得很棒 843 00:48:49,541 --> 00:48:52,958 ‎-我不喜歡這樣,天啊! ‎-沒事的 844 00:48:54,708 --> 00:48:56,000 ‎現在閉上眼睛 845 00:48:57,875 --> 00:48:59,500 ‎深深吸一口氣 846 00:49:03,333 --> 00:49:04,250 ‎然後呼氣 847 00:49:12,708 --> 00:49:16,041 ‎妳剛剛跳下來嗎?落地很穩啊 848 00:49:17,708 --> 00:49:21,708 ‎什麼,那個嗎? ‎你應該看看我在山上的英姿 849 00:49:21,791 --> 00:49:22,916 ‎我很樂意 850 00:49:24,375 --> 00:49:27,833 ‎如果妳明早有空 ‎來科爾賓格倫公園跟我見面吧 851 00:49:27,916 --> 00:49:30,875 ‎9點好嗎?穿舒服的衣服 852 00:49:31,458 --> 00:49:32,375 ‎這是約會 853 00:49:32,458 --> 00:49:33,291 ‎對 854 00:49:40,875 --> 00:49:42,666 ‎林家,去吧! 855 00:49:45,666 --> 00:49:49,000 ‎歐文看起來很雀躍,真是有病 856 00:49:49,083 --> 00:49:51,208 ‎祈求祢的憐憫! 857 00:49:52,000 --> 00:49:53,375 ‎耶! 858 00:49:53,875 --> 00:49:54,708 ‎耶! 859 00:49:54,791 --> 00:49:56,541 ‎妳無法想像 860 00:49:56,625 --> 00:49:57,875 ‎野性的聲音,來吧! 861 00:50:15,875 --> 00:50:17,916 ‎-他剛才是不是…? ‎-對 862 00:50:20,166 --> 00:50:21,458 ‎爸爸,你走音了 863 00:50:22,958 --> 00:50:24,208 ‎怎樣才算太過分? 864 00:50:25,916 --> 00:50:27,833 ‎另一邊,寶貝,妳要站在這裡 865 00:50:37,250 --> 00:50:38,875 ‎快快做個結尾,奶奶,別搞砸! 866 00:50:42,833 --> 00:50:43,916 ‎耶穌! 867 00:50:45,958 --> 00:50:49,958 ‎徇眾要求,林家頌歌合唱團! 868 00:50:50,041 --> 00:50:53,125 ‎謝謝,有人要點唱嗎? 869 00:50:53,208 --> 00:50:56,250 ‎-《寶貝,外面很冷》! ‎-對! 870 00:50:56,333 --> 00:50:59,666 ‎我們應該會唱,誰想合唱? 871 00:50:59,750 --> 00:51:01,541 ‎很大的謎團,鮑伯 872 00:51:04,458 --> 00:51:06,375 ‎我和奈德麗娜合唱吧,爸爸 873 00:51:07,833 --> 00:51:09,541 ‎-等等,什麼? ‎-對 874 00:51:12,958 --> 00:51:16,208 ‎除非我死了,不然我不要唱這首歌 875 00:51:16,291 --> 00:51:18,541 ‎這首歌是講述性侵犯 876 00:51:19,083 --> 00:51:21,666 ‎弟弟,你不如讓我和小切合唱吧? 877 00:51:21,750 --> 00:51:24,708 ‎-她大概不知道歌詞 ‎-我知道,我只是不… 878 00:51:24,791 --> 00:51:27,416 ‎她知道歌詞,我們沒問題 879 00:51:27,500 --> 00:51:28,791 ‎喬許,我… 880 00:51:29,666 --> 00:51:31,875 ‎-聽著,我們要合唱這首歌,好嗎? ‎-不! 881 00:51:31,958 --> 00:51:37,708 ‎妳唱自己那部分就好,我會改歌詞 ‎這樣歌曲就沒有強暴的意味 882 00:51:38,791 --> 00:51:41,166 ‎好吧,快快把它唱完吧 883 00:51:41,250 --> 00:51:43,291 ‎爸爸?播放音樂 884 00:51:48,875 --> 00:51:50,041 ‎寶貝,你還好嗎? 885 00:51:50,958 --> 00:51:52,875 ‎我真的不能留下來 886 00:51:52,958 --> 00:51:56,208 ‎沒問題,大門在這邊 887 00:51:56,291 --> 00:52:00,875 ‎-我要走了 ‎-我聽到了,不必多說 888 00:52:00,958 --> 00:52:05,541 ‎-這個晚上… ‎-雙方完全同意 889 00:52:05,625 --> 00:52:07,708 ‎真是太好了 890 00:52:07,791 --> 00:52:12,125 ‎我希望妳今晚平安回家 891 00:52:12,208 --> 00:52:15,000 ‎我媽媽會開始擔心 892 00:52:15,083 --> 00:52:17,375 ‎這是我的手機,打電話給她 893 00:52:17,458 --> 00:52:19,791 ‎我爸爸會踱來踱去 894 00:52:19,875 --> 00:52:22,250 ‎再見,別再說了 895 00:52:22,333 --> 00:52:25,000 ‎我真的最好趕緊跑 896 00:52:25,083 --> 00:52:27,583 ‎我已經說了一陣子了 897 00:52:27,666 --> 00:52:29,958 ‎也許再多喝半杯 898 00:52:30,041 --> 00:52:32,250 ‎喝慢一點,酒很大杯 899 00:52:32,333 --> 00:52:36,583 ‎-鄰居可能覺得… ‎-只是我的老朋友特洛伊 900 00:52:36,666 --> 00:52:41,750 ‎-快說,飲料裡有什麼東西? ‎-只是檸檬碳酸水 901 00:52:41,833 --> 00:52:43,958 ‎真希望我知道如何… 902 00:52:44,041 --> 00:52:47,541 ‎-聽懂別人的暗示? ‎-破除魔咒 903 00:52:47,625 --> 00:52:51,375 ‎妳知道“告別”怎麼寫嗎? 904 00:52:51,458 --> 00:52:56,333 ‎-我應該拒絕 ‎-我會為妳召優步,它們就在附近 905 00:52:56,416 --> 00:53:01,083 ‎-至少我會說我試過了 ‎-我覺得妳根本沒有嘗試 906 00:53:01,166 --> 00:53:04,666 ‎-我真的不能留下 ‎-或許出去吧 907 00:53:04,750 --> 00:53:11,708 ‎-因為寶貝,外面很冷 ‎-或許出去吧 908 00:53:19,833 --> 00:53:20,958 ‎合唱得太好聽了! 909 00:53:21,041 --> 00:53:22,750 ‎-聲音好美! ‎-太棒了! 910 00:53:23,250 --> 00:53:25,000 ‎-不,過獎了 ‎-太棒了! 911 00:53:25,583 --> 00:53:28,041 ‎好,我想我們該告訴他們了 912 00:53:28,125 --> 00:53:30,666 ‎-是時候告訴他們了 ‎-應該是時候了,好 913 00:53:30,750 --> 00:53:33,375 ‎-太聰明了… ‎-請大家注意一下好嗎?可以嗎? 914 00:53:35,583 --> 00:53:39,500 ‎我們本來打算 ‎遲些才告訴大家這個好消息,但… 915 00:53:40,500 --> 00:53:43,500 ‎聽了你們不斷在唱“寶貝”之後 916 00:53:43,583 --> 00:53:46,458 ‎我們覺得很興奮 917 00:53:47,125 --> 00:53:50,750 ‎我們不能再保守秘密了 918 00:53:51,791 --> 00:53:53,291 ‎媽媽?爸爸? 919 00:53:54,750 --> 00:53:57,333 ‎-你們將會成為祖父母 ‎-我們懷孕了 920 00:53:58,875 --> 00:54:00,250 ‎哇! 921 00:54:00,333 --> 00:54:02,125 ‎兒子! 922 00:54:02,708 --> 00:54:05,791 ‎過來,來吧,奶奶 923 00:54:11,125 --> 00:54:14,541 ‎-我太為你們感到自豪了 ‎-我們得想想孩子的名字 924 00:54:14,625 --> 00:54:15,625 ‎媽媽! 925 00:54:15,708 --> 00:54:17,416 ‎一定會很好玩 926 00:54:17,500 --> 00:54:20,416 ‎我們要翻修臥室和育嬰室 927 00:54:23,041 --> 00:54:25,250 ‎請大家注意我一下好嗎? 928 00:54:25,333 --> 00:54:28,125 ‎請大家注意我一下好嗎? 929 00:54:29,125 --> 00:54:33,000 ‎歐文和切爾西,我想恭喜你們 930 00:54:33,541 --> 00:54:38,333 ‎看到你們這麼幸福,現在又懷孕了 931 00:54:39,208 --> 00:54:41,750 ‎實在是夢想成真 932 00:54:42,333 --> 00:54:44,875 ‎是一個我從來不敢擁有的夢想 933 00:54:44,958 --> 00:54:47,375 ‎找一個陪我度過餘生的人 934 00:54:47,958 --> 00:54:50,750 ‎機會似乎微乎其微… 935 00:54:52,083 --> 00:54:53,291 ‎直到我遇到奈德麗 936 00:54:57,750 --> 00:54:58,833 ‎不是吧 937 00:54:59,375 --> 00:55:00,583 ‎你在做什麼? 938 00:55:01,583 --> 00:55:02,416 ‎起來 939 00:55:02,500 --> 00:55:06,625 ‎奈德麗,我知道我們認識的日子很短 940 00:55:06,708 --> 00:55:08,250 ‎對,沒錯,我們確實認識不久 941 00:55:08,333 --> 00:55:12,833 ‎但妳知道大家怎麼說 ‎到你知道的時候,就知道了 942 00:55:14,041 --> 00:55:16,625 ‎我是認真的,這樣並不好笑 943 00:55:17,416 --> 00:55:18,250 ‎奈德麗鮑爾 944 00:55:18,333 --> 00:55:21,333 ‎-別說了,起來 ‎-妳願意嫁給我嗎? 945 00:55:21,416 --> 00:55:22,541 ‎別說… 946 00:55:22,625 --> 00:55:24,041 ‎他連戒指都沒有 947 00:55:24,125 --> 00:55:25,250 ‎對,你沒有戒指 948 00:55:25,833 --> 00:55:29,333 ‎答應吧,只要答應就好,說吧 949 00:55:29,916 --> 00:55:30,750 ‎我的天啊 950 00:55:30,833 --> 00:55:34,000 ‎你可以拿我的戒指 ‎我不一定要拿它陪葬 951 00:55:34,083 --> 00:55:37,083 ‎謝謝妳,奶奶,妳是最好的! 952 00:55:38,541 --> 00:55:39,583 ‎奈德麗 953 00:55:40,458 --> 00:55:41,375 ‎妳願意嗎? 954 00:55:41,458 --> 00:55:43,625 ‎快點,大家都在看著我們 955 00:55:46,916 --> 00:55:49,000 ‎大家都看著,只要答應就好 956 00:55:49,083 --> 00:55:51,166 ‎人生苦短,親愛的 957 00:55:52,750 --> 00:55:53,583 ‎我願意 958 00:55:53,666 --> 00:55:55,041 ‎她答應了! 959 00:55:58,625 --> 00:56:01,458 ‎-天啊 ‎-我的天啊! 960 00:56:01,541 --> 00:56:03,291 ‎太完美了! 961 00:56:04,625 --> 00:56:09,041 ‎妳讓我成為最快樂的… ‎我們是鎮上最幸福的家庭! 962 00:56:10,166 --> 00:56:11,416 ‎謝謝妳,奶奶 963 00:56:14,375 --> 00:56:17,125 ‎我是鎮上最快樂的人,謝謝大家 964 00:56:18,541 --> 00:56:22,000 ‎我知道妳很生氣 ‎但妳叫我勇敢站起來,為自己爭取 965 00:56:22,083 --> 00:56:22,916 ‎很有用! 966 00:56:23,000 --> 00:56:25,708 ‎我叫你站起來,不是叫你單膝跪下! 967 00:56:25,791 --> 00:56:27,833 ‎原本的計畫不是這樣 968 00:56:27,916 --> 00:56:29,875 ‎對不起,是我太得意忘形 969 00:56:29,958 --> 00:56:32,458 ‎妳仔細想想,什麼都沒變 970 00:56:32,541 --> 00:56:33,750 ‎什麼都沒變? 971 00:56:34,291 --> 00:56:37,541 ‎你奶奶把她的戒指給了我 ‎從她的手指脫下來! 972 00:56:37,625 --> 00:56:39,458 ‎我們演到聖誕節後就好了 973 00:56:39,541 --> 00:56:42,166 ‎妳回到洛杉磯後 ‎我會告訴他們我們合不來 974 00:56:42,250 --> 00:56:45,833 ‎然後我當壞人?你的家人會大受打擊 975 00:56:45,916 --> 00:56:47,916 ‎別擔心,我害他們失望已是家常便飯 976 00:56:48,000 --> 00:56:51,208 ‎那阿德呢?我明天要跟他約會 977 00:56:51,291 --> 00:56:53,375 ‎萬一他發現我和我表哥訂婚怎麼辦? 978 00:56:53,458 --> 00:56:56,166 ‎他不會發現,我向妳保證,好嗎? 979 00:56:56,250 --> 00:56:59,083 ‎一切都會沒事的,相信我就好 980 00:56:59,833 --> 00:57:04,708 ‎相信你?恕我辦不到! 981 00:57:05,833 --> 00:57:07,500 ‎我還戴了這頂蠢帽子! 982 00:57:07,583 --> 00:57:10,000 ‎你要我戴帽子,看起來很蠢! 983 00:57:10,083 --> 00:57:11,833 ‎現在我要結婚了! 984 00:57:13,541 --> 00:57:15,041 ‎我不認識這個奈德麗 985 00:57:15,125 --> 00:57:17,875 ‎如果她想加入我們的家庭 ‎我必須知道她是誰 986 00:57:17,958 --> 00:57:22,041 ‎我已經搜了一個小時,什麼也找不到 987 00:57:22,791 --> 00:57:26,666 ‎在谷歌搜索不到你的資料 ‎跟開一輛白色無窗廂型車 988 00:57:26,750 --> 00:57:28,041 ‎駛經遊樂場一樣可疑 989 00:57:28,875 --> 00:57:31,541 ‎我乘坐白色無窗廂型車去舞會 990 00:57:33,833 --> 00:57:35,625 ‎你最好還是別管了 991 00:57:35,708 --> 00:57:39,291 ‎她還不錯啊,喬許似乎很喜歡她 992 00:57:39,916 --> 00:57:43,791 ‎小切,寶寶還沒有心跳 ‎更別說耳朵了 993 00:57:43,875 --> 00:57:46,291 ‎歐文,音樂能預防妊娠紋 994 00:57:46,375 --> 00:57:47,708 ‎讓我搞清楚 995 00:57:47,791 --> 00:57:51,041 ‎妳跟真正的阿德約會 ‎同時又跟假的阿德訂婚了? 996 00:57:51,125 --> 00:57:51,958 ‎沒錯 997 00:57:52,041 --> 00:57:54,958 ‎天啊,終有一天妳會讓治療師發大財 998 00:57:55,041 --> 00:57:56,666 ‎這可不好笑,小凱! 999 00:57:56,750 --> 00:57:58,541 ‎我完蛋了! 1000 00:57:58,625 --> 00:58:02,666 ‎妳只要在聖誕節前瞞住阿德和林家 1001 00:58:02,750 --> 00:58:05,416 ‎妳就沒事了,坐穩點,好好享受吧 1002 00:58:05,500 --> 00:58:06,875 ‎我不確定,小凱 1003 00:58:06,958 --> 00:58:09,208 ‎我覺得事情最終會搞得一塌糊塗 1004 00:58:09,291 --> 00:58:11,541 ‎有時候一塌糊塗可能是好事 1005 00:58:11,625 --> 00:58:13,666 ‎妳可能不會總得到妳想要的結局 1006 00:58:13,750 --> 00:58:15,416 ‎但妳會得到妳需要的結局 1007 00:58:15,500 --> 00:58:18,708 ‎而且最糟的情況 ‎妳也得到一隻免費鑽石戒指 1008 00:58:19,625 --> 00:58:23,708 ‎嘿,小奈,我愛妳 ‎但我得掛線了,我的贊助商打給我 1009 00:58:23,791 --> 00:58:25,500 ‎掰掰,親愛的,我愛妳 1010 00:58:25,583 --> 00:58:26,416 ‎嘿 1011 00:58:27,625 --> 00:58:28,458 ‎凱瑞? 1012 00:58:38,291 --> 00:58:39,458 ‎沒什麼事吧? 1013 00:58:40,916 --> 00:58:44,083 ‎奈德麗,可以把扳手拿給我嗎? 1014 00:58:44,958 --> 00:58:45,916 ‎好 1015 00:58:46,750 --> 00:58:47,833 ‎-給你 ‎-謝謝 1016 00:58:48,333 --> 00:58:49,166 ‎不客氣 1017 00:58:50,875 --> 00:58:51,708 ‎弄好了 1018 00:58:54,333 --> 00:58:56,375 ‎這討厭的煙道總是卡住 1019 00:58:59,125 --> 00:59:01,750 ‎妳想幫我點火嗎? 1020 00:59:02,416 --> 00:59:03,250 ‎好 1021 00:59:10,666 --> 00:59:15,291 ‎輕輕捲起來,然後揉一揉就好了 1022 00:59:17,125 --> 00:59:21,041 ‎我爸爸沒點過火 ‎除非把房子燒掉可以申請保險理賠 1023 00:59:21,958 --> 00:59:23,208 ‎這個是誰? 1024 00:59:25,666 --> 00:59:27,041 ‎是我爸爸 1025 00:59:27,750 --> 00:59:29,708 ‎對,他幾年前過世了 1026 00:59:29,791 --> 00:59:30,916 ‎我… 1027 00:59:31,791 --> 00:59:33,208 ‎-我很抱歉 ‎-沒事 1028 00:59:34,083 --> 00:59:36,916 ‎他愛這個世界上的兩樣東西 1029 00:59:37,458 --> 00:59:39,708 ‎他的家庭和聖誕節 1030 00:59:39,791 --> 00:59:43,083 ‎他以前每年平安夜都會爬上屋頂 ‎然後用力踏步 1031 00:59:43,166 --> 00:59:44,791 ‎通知兩個小孩聖誕老人來了 1032 00:59:45,375 --> 00:59:47,708 ‎他有一年掉下來,摔斷了手臂 1033 00:59:48,250 --> 00:59:50,208 ‎他告訴孫兒鬼靈精想要偷走禮物 1034 00:59:50,291 --> 00:59:52,291 ‎他為了保護禮物才弄斷了手臂 1035 00:59:56,083 --> 00:59:58,166 ‎他聽起來是個很好的人 1036 00:59:58,250 --> 00:59:59,125 ‎對 1037 01:00:00,458 --> 01:00:01,666 ‎聽我說 1038 01:00:01,750 --> 01:00:03,125 ‎我想讓妳知道 1039 01:00:04,666 --> 01:00:08,000 ‎我們很高興妳加入這個家庭 1040 01:00:15,250 --> 01:00:17,250 ‎好,說夠了 1041 01:00:17,958 --> 01:00:19,875 ‎準備好點火了嗎? 1042 01:00:20,666 --> 01:00:21,500 ‎好 1043 01:00:26,291 --> 01:00:27,625 ‎好,好吧 1044 01:00:29,083 --> 01:00:32,000 ‎說真的,這是我這輩子 ‎最心曠神怡的健行 1045 01:00:32,083 --> 01:00:33,416 ‎我很高興妳喜歡 1046 01:00:33,916 --> 01:00:36,875 ‎我以前每天 ‎都帶我的黃金獵犬丘伊來這裡 1047 01:00:36,958 --> 01:00:38,208 ‎牠去年過世了 1048 01:00:38,750 --> 01:00:40,250 ‎我每天都想念牠 1049 01:00:41,666 --> 01:00:43,208 ‎牠會很喜歡這次健行 1050 01:00:45,625 --> 01:00:46,458 ‎還有妳 1051 01:00:55,625 --> 01:00:58,916 ‎今天很愉快 ‎我很久沒有在約會時健行 1052 01:00:59,000 --> 01:01:01,833 ‎這不是約會,只是熱身而已 1053 01:01:03,125 --> 01:01:04,791 ‎妳玩過雪橇嗎? 1054 01:01:07,250 --> 01:01:09,000 ‎我不擅長這玩意,喬許 1055 01:01:09,083 --> 01:01:11,333 ‎好,妳只要放鬆就好 1056 01:01:11,416 --> 01:01:15,416 ‎放鬆?我放鬆不了 ‎我不緊繃就根本撐不下去 1057 01:01:15,500 --> 01:01:18,041 ‎戴上耳機,播放音樂 1058 01:01:18,125 --> 01:01:20,041 ‎我不知道我有沒有帶耳機 1059 01:01:22,291 --> 01:01:25,708 ‎其實我應該有一樣更有用的東西 1060 01:01:29,041 --> 01:01:30,958 ‎艾老石說大麻是他給的 1061 01:01:31,041 --> 01:01:32,208 ‎艾老石? 1062 01:01:33,416 --> 01:01:34,666 ‎他什麼時候出獄的? 1063 01:01:43,541 --> 01:01:46,083 ‎奈德麗,妳覺得怎麼樣? 1064 01:01:46,166 --> 01:01:48,291 ‎簡直是嗨翻天 1065 01:02:01,041 --> 01:02:02,250 ‎真高興妳沒死掉 1066 01:02:03,000 --> 01:02:05,125 ‎我從來沒有這麼活力充沛過 1067 01:02:06,708 --> 01:02:10,041 ‎不只因為阿德約我明晚吃晚餐 1068 01:02:10,541 --> 01:02:13,625 ‎我也肯定我獲得 ‎參加北京冬季奧運會的資格了 1069 01:02:17,416 --> 01:02:18,958 ‎我生平第一次 1070 01:02:19,041 --> 01:02:21,791 ‎遇到一個真人跟在手機上 1071 01:02:21,875 --> 01:02:23,541 ‎都同樣完美的人 1072 01:02:25,250 --> 01:02:28,791 ‎我不想掃妳的興 ‎但阿德跟完美一點也沾不上邊 1073 01:02:28,875 --> 01:02:32,791 ‎他一年級時有弱視,需要戴眼罩 1074 01:02:33,708 --> 01:02:35,291 ‎你怎麼怪怪的? 1075 01:02:35,916 --> 01:02:38,375 ‎我只是想指出在某些文化裡 1076 01:02:38,458 --> 01:02:41,458 ‎身高和面部對稱性讓人很討厭 1077 01:02:43,291 --> 01:02:45,291 ‎幸好我不屬於那些文化 1078 01:02:45,791 --> 01:02:47,041 ‎你在這裡做什麼? 1079 01:02:47,583 --> 01:02:49,541 ‎混合一些新氣味 1080 01:02:51,375 --> 01:02:54,000 ‎聞起來像剛剛割下來的草 1081 01:02:54,583 --> 01:02:56,583 ‎這種氣味叫割草機 1082 01:03:04,291 --> 01:03:06,750 ‎我在感受這氣味,稍等 1083 01:03:07,916 --> 01:03:12,416 ‎這氣味就像…穿緊身衣的藍領技工 1084 01:03:12,500 --> 01:03:16,000 ‎辛勞工作了一天 1085 01:03:16,083 --> 01:03:17,875 ‎捷飛絡換油店,這是我為它起的名字 1086 01:03:19,250 --> 01:03:22,208 ‎你可能要再想想名字 ‎但你調製的香味很完美 1087 01:03:22,291 --> 01:03:23,875 ‎抱歉,這是為我自己而設的 1088 01:03:24,500 --> 01:03:27,041 ‎對,看來現在是為我而設的 1089 01:03:28,583 --> 01:03:29,541 ‎是尤加利樹 1090 01:03:29,625 --> 01:03:31,083 ‎我很喜歡尤加利樹 1091 01:03:31,625 --> 01:03:33,500 ‎還有男士護理產品的氣味 1092 01:03:33,583 --> 01:03:35,916 ‎還有一絲絲 1093 01:03:37,000 --> 01:03:39,208 ‎汽油的味道?這個是什麼? 1094 01:03:40,791 --> 01:03:41,791 ‎爺爺 1095 01:03:43,625 --> 01:03:46,625 ‎我最初是因為他才開始做蠟燭 1096 01:03:47,250 --> 01:03:50,291 ‎別人說氣味可以勾起鮮明的回憶 1097 01:03:51,166 --> 01:03:52,541 ‎所以我製作了他的氣味 1098 01:03:53,291 --> 01:03:54,541 ‎我知道這很瞎 1099 01:03:55,625 --> 01:03:56,541 ‎不是 1100 01:03:57,583 --> 01:03:58,708 ‎一點都不瞎 1101 01:04:04,041 --> 01:04:06,833 ‎反而很貼心 1102 01:04:12,375 --> 01:04:16,041 ‎-嘿,各位,電影要開始了! ‎-什麼電影? 1103 01:04:16,666 --> 01:04:19,125 ‎史上最偉大的聖誕電影 1104 01:04:21,583 --> 01:04:22,625 ‎(妳說是頌歌歌手) 1105 01:04:23,500 --> 01:04:24,833 ‎是頌歌歌手 1106 01:04:28,708 --> 01:04:30,208 ‎(我要跟其中一個女孩約會…) 1107 01:04:30,291 --> 01:04:33,333 ‎我看過那男生演戲 ‎他是《權力遊戲》的演員 1108 01:04:35,208 --> 01:04:37,125 ‎不,他是演那部喪屍劇 1109 01:04:37,208 --> 01:04:38,583 ‎《陰屍路》 1110 01:04:38,666 --> 01:04:40,750 ‎啊!我討厭那部紀錄片 1111 01:04:40,833 --> 01:04:42,833 ‎各位,安靜點,這是我最喜歡的情節 1112 01:04:42,916 --> 01:04:44,291 ‎(對我來說,妳是完美的) 1113 01:04:44,375 --> 01:04:46,500 ‎(我破碎的心會愛著妳) 1114 01:04:46,583 --> 01:04:47,666 ‎可惡 1115 01:04:49,875 --> 01:04:51,333 ‎喔! 1116 01:04:51,416 --> 01:04:55,375 ‎看看!要出版了!小情侶 1117 01:04:55,458 --> 01:04:57,000 ‎(未來林氏夫婦) 1118 01:04:57,083 --> 01:04:58,875 ‎你們的訂婚公告,明天會在報紙刊登 1119 01:05:18,916 --> 01:05:20,500 ‎上車! 1120 01:05:24,666 --> 01:05:26,583 ‎你們可以逃跑,但躲不了! 1121 01:05:27,875 --> 01:05:29,833 ‎糟糕,別動 1122 01:05:32,916 --> 01:05:35,041 ‎-他走了 ‎-你確定嗎? 1123 01:05:39,333 --> 01:05:42,083 ‎我肯定那個報童會丟掉工作 1124 01:05:42,166 --> 01:05:45,333 ‎-我會為他在店裡安排一份工作 ‎-我希望他喜歡旅行吧 1125 01:05:45,416 --> 01:05:46,958 ‎這應該算是提拔他吧 1126 01:05:47,583 --> 01:05:50,666 ‎好,這是最後一條街 ‎我們應該把全部都拿到手了 1127 01:05:50,750 --> 01:05:52,625 ‎天啊 1128 01:05:52,708 --> 01:05:55,416 ‎我在照片中一副嚇呆了的樣子 1129 01:05:55,500 --> 01:05:57,875 ‎-沒有 ‎-是真的 1130 01:05:58,708 --> 01:06:00,625 ‎不過你這張照片拍得不錯 1131 01:06:00,708 --> 01:06:01,583 ‎你看看 1132 01:06:02,208 --> 01:06:04,041 ‎很可能是唯一拍得不錯的照片 1133 01:06:04,791 --> 01:06:08,958 ‎別這樣,喬許 ‎我知道很多女孩會很喜歡你 1134 01:06:09,541 --> 01:06:11,708 ‎但肯定不是“來撩吧”上的女孩 1135 01:06:15,458 --> 01:06:18,041 ‎你還有原本的個人檔案照片嗎? 1136 01:06:19,875 --> 01:06:21,416 ‎-天啊,你有 ‎-沒有 1137 01:06:21,500 --> 01:06:22,416 ‎快點,給我看 1138 01:06:22,500 --> 01:06:24,625 ‎-我全部刪掉了 ‎-不,你沒有 1139 01:06:24,708 --> 01:06:25,625 ‎求求你好嗎? 1140 01:06:25,708 --> 01:06:27,125 ‎我了解你 1141 01:06:27,208 --> 01:06:29,041 ‎-好吧 ‎-給我看照片! 1142 01:06:36,041 --> 01:06:40,083 ‎老兄,你拿著斧頭 ‎看起來真像個斧頭殺人狂 1143 01:06:40,625 --> 01:06:42,916 ‎我想要展現英俊粗獷的一面 1144 01:06:43,000 --> 01:06:43,833 ‎好 1145 01:06:45,375 --> 01:06:49,458 ‎誰不喜歡浴室自拍照? ‎我那天看起來很壯碩,妳看 1146 01:06:49,541 --> 01:06:52,833 ‎沒有人喜歡浴室自拍照! ‎還有你怎麼拿著扳手? 1147 01:06:52,916 --> 01:06:56,583 ‎我在修理樓下的馬桶 ‎女孩子都喜歡修理東西的男人 1148 01:06:59,625 --> 01:07:00,458 ‎什麼事? 1149 01:07:00,541 --> 01:07:02,750 ‎好,你過來 1150 01:07:02,833 --> 01:07:07,250 ‎我們簡單總結一下 ‎你拿著扳手、斧頭和繩子 1151 01:07:07,333 --> 01:07:09,125 ‎你是在找女朋友 1152 01:07:09,208 --> 01:07:11,458 ‎還是飾演在圖書館殺了黃上校的人? 1153 01:07:13,833 --> 01:07:18,125 ‎難怪你只配對了三次 ‎你把自己的長處都藏起來了 1154 01:07:18,750 --> 01:07:20,666 ‎我有什麼長處? 1155 01:07:22,375 --> 01:07:23,291 ‎嗯… 1156 01:07:24,708 --> 01:07:28,041 ‎舉個例說,你的眼睛很好看 1157 01:07:29,416 --> 01:07:31,416 ‎你得凸顯一雙漂亮的眼睛 1158 01:07:34,583 --> 01:07:36,083 ‎還有你的牙齒 1159 01:07:37,541 --> 01:07:39,250 ‎你的牙齒很整齊 1160 01:07:40,250 --> 01:07:41,666 ‎整齊得出奇 1161 01:07:42,250 --> 01:07:43,583 ‎我戴了五年牙套 1162 01:07:43,666 --> 01:07:45,875 ‎那就多笑一點吧 1163 01:07:47,125 --> 01:07:48,333 ‎你看 1164 01:07:49,583 --> 01:07:50,500 ‎這就對了 1165 01:07:51,541 --> 01:07:52,833 ‎我開玩笑 1166 01:07:54,541 --> 01:07:58,541 ‎但更重要的是,你是個好人,喬許 1167 01:08:00,875 --> 01:08:03,083 ‎我不知道怎麼在照片裡表現出來 1168 01:08:04,916 --> 01:08:08,000 ‎首先,你必須相信這是真的 1169 01:08:09,458 --> 01:08:10,708 ‎一旦你相信了 1170 01:08:11,500 --> 01:08:12,333 ‎你相信我 1171 01:08:13,666 --> 01:08:14,541 ‎相由心生 1172 01:08:21,832 --> 01:08:24,082 ‎你答應我在這一切結束後 1173 01:08:25,082 --> 01:08:28,041 ‎你要用真實的照片 ‎老老實實建立個人檔案 1174 01:08:28,125 --> 01:08:29,582 ‎把真正的你表現出來 1175 01:08:32,625 --> 01:08:33,625 ‎我答應妳 1176 01:08:38,957 --> 01:08:41,541 ‎我知道你們在裡面,大混蛋 ‎我看到有水蒸汽! 1177 01:08:41,625 --> 01:08:43,125 ‎快走! 1178 01:08:44,791 --> 01:08:48,125 ‎妳今晚真的要外出嗎? ‎我們要做薑餅屋 1179 01:08:48,207 --> 01:08:50,166 ‎我跟阿德約了八點見面 1180 01:08:51,707 --> 01:08:53,541 ‎好,怎麼樣? 1181 01:08:54,916 --> 01:08:56,125 ‎你覺得怎樣? 1182 01:08:58,207 --> 01:08:59,166 ‎哇 1183 01:08:59,250 --> 01:09:02,666 ‎我知道,這是我在你媽衣櫃裡 ‎找到最好看的一件 1184 01:09:02,750 --> 01:09:06,375 ‎但我不得不做些修改,希望她不介意 1185 01:09:07,000 --> 01:09:08,832 ‎不會,妳看起來… 1186 01:09:11,250 --> 01:09:12,082 ‎簡直完美 1187 01:09:12,791 --> 01:09:13,666 ‎好吧 1188 01:09:13,750 --> 01:09:15,541 ‎不用太誇獎 1189 01:09:20,707 --> 01:09:22,416 ‎你們會去哪裡? 1190 01:09:23,250 --> 01:09:24,875 ‎應該是艾博特吧 1191 01:09:24,957 --> 01:09:28,207 ‎-妳知道那是牛排館吧? ‎-我知道,他父母開的 1192 01:09:28,291 --> 01:09:30,000 ‎對,妳是素食者 1193 01:09:30,082 --> 01:09:32,250 ‎但阿德最愛吃肉和馬鈴薯之類 1194 01:09:32,332 --> 01:09:34,166 ‎他也喜歡這樣的女朋友 1195 01:09:34,750 --> 01:09:37,416 ‎好,那我吃馬鈴薯吧 1196 01:09:38,625 --> 01:09:41,125 ‎大不了我就吃一點肉 1197 01:09:41,750 --> 01:09:44,332 ‎妳不覺得這樣有點過火嗎? 1198 01:09:45,666 --> 01:09:46,541 ‎我不覺得 1199 01:09:46,625 --> 01:09:50,125 ‎妳假裝喜歡攀岩 ‎或某一本書,這是一回事 1200 01:09:50,207 --> 01:09:52,082 ‎但現在妳在背棄自己的信念 1201 01:09:52,166 --> 01:09:56,208 ‎好,你放鬆點,我又不是要開屠宰場 1202 01:09:56,791 --> 01:10:01,250 ‎今天是吃肉,那妳明天要說什麼謊? 1203 01:10:02,125 --> 01:10:04,583 ‎不好意思,說謊? 1204 01:10:05,291 --> 01:10:09,250 ‎別忘了我來這裡的唯一原因 ‎就是因為你說謊 1205 01:10:09,333 --> 01:10:11,375 ‎-我只是在一張照片上騙了妳 ‎-不是 1206 01:10:11,458 --> 01:10:15,083 ‎你躲在照片背後,胡謅自己的身分 1207 01:10:15,833 --> 01:10:17,125 ‎但那個還是我 1208 01:10:17,750 --> 01:10:20,750 ‎我們每次對話,每個訊息 1209 01:10:20,833 --> 01:10:24,000 ‎每次歡笑,全都是我 1210 01:10:24,708 --> 01:10:26,166 ‎妳之前喜歡我 1211 01:10:26,750 --> 01:10:27,958 ‎妳那麼喜歡我 1212 01:10:28,041 --> 01:10:31,708 ‎不惜飛到美國另一端 ‎給我一個聖誕驚喜 1213 01:10:31,791 --> 01:10:33,708 ‎你說得對,我之前喜歡你 1214 01:10:34,333 --> 01:10:35,583 ‎但你是個謊言 1215 01:10:35,666 --> 01:10:37,375 ‎虛構的人物 1216 01:11:05,416 --> 01:11:07,750 ‎晚安,菜單有不清楚的地方嗎? 1217 01:11:07,833 --> 01:11:09,583 ‎我要一份丁骨牛排 1218 01:11:09,666 --> 01:11:11,666 ‎你想要煮多熟? 1219 01:11:11,750 --> 01:11:15,208 ‎你了解我,超級生 ‎好的獸醫可以把它救活 1220 01:11:18,791 --> 01:11:22,000 ‎我很遺憾奈德麗 ‎今晚不能跟我們一起度過 1221 01:11:22,083 --> 01:11:23,041 ‎她在哪裡? 1222 01:11:23,916 --> 01:11:24,916 ‎艾博特牛排館 1223 01:11:26,250 --> 01:11:27,500 ‎她在那裡幹嘛? 1224 01:11:28,333 --> 01:11:33,000 ‎她只是在試吃婚宴菜單的食物 1225 01:11:34,250 --> 01:11:36,375 ‎你不是該一起去的嗎? 1226 01:11:37,000 --> 01:11:39,625 ‎不,我喜歡什麼並不重要 1227 01:11:39,708 --> 01:11:42,666 ‎只要她開心,我就開心 1228 01:11:44,875 --> 01:11:46,875 ‎糟糕,我沒有扭扭糖了 1229 01:11:46,958 --> 01:11:49,958 ‎我沒有扭扭糖,怎麼蓋漂亮的屋頂? 1230 01:11:50,041 --> 01:11:54,500 ‎我要跑一趟商店,很快回來 ‎有人需要什麼嗎?沒有?好 1231 01:11:58,875 --> 01:12:01,250 ‎妳覺得這裡怎麼樣? 1232 01:12:02,083 --> 01:12:06,750 ‎真了不起,不用去迪士尼世界 ‎就能看到小鹿斑比 1233 01:12:06,833 --> 01:12:08,375 ‎其實是我開槍射死牠 1234 01:12:10,666 --> 01:12:11,916 ‎-哇 ‎-對 1235 01:12:24,625 --> 01:12:29,208 ‎妳喜歡披薩、攀岩和梭羅 1236 01:12:29,791 --> 01:12:30,833 ‎妳還喜歡什麼? 1237 01:12:32,000 --> 01:12:34,708 ‎電影,特別是《終極警探》 1238 01:12:34,791 --> 01:12:38,291 ‎史上最偉大的聖誕電影 1239 01:12:41,125 --> 01:12:42,625 ‎我們乾杯 1240 01:12:46,958 --> 01:12:50,875 ‎我超喜歡聖誕節 ‎但當你細想,聖誕老人其實有點詭異 1241 01:12:50,958 --> 01:12:52,291 ‎他在你睡覺時來找你 1242 01:12:52,375 --> 01:12:55,958 ‎他知道你什麼時候醒來 ‎他總是讓你坐在他的大腿上 1243 01:12:56,041 --> 01:12:57,666 ‎對,完全同意 1244 01:12:58,166 --> 01:13:00,958 ‎那傢伙是聖誕節最大的敗筆 1245 01:13:01,041 --> 01:13:02,708 ‎這是我不慶祝聖誕節的主要原因 1246 01:13:06,625 --> 01:13:09,458 ‎你說正經的嗎?你不慶祝聖誕節? 1247 01:13:09,541 --> 01:13:12,125 ‎對,從三年前開始就沒慶祝了 1248 01:13:13,125 --> 01:13:16,333 ‎-為什麼? ‎-因為根本是一場騙局 1249 01:13:16,916 --> 01:13:17,875 ‎好 1250 01:13:18,583 --> 01:13:19,500 ‎真的…? 1251 01:13:20,875 --> 01:13:22,750 ‎別停在家門前 1252 01:13:22,833 --> 01:13:24,291 ‎-大家都在睡了 ‎-好 1253 01:13:24,375 --> 01:13:26,958 ‎你別見怪,但你的車很吵 1254 01:13:30,041 --> 01:13:30,916 ‎好 1255 01:13:31,500 --> 01:13:33,583 ‎我今晚過得很愉快 1256 01:13:34,750 --> 01:13:35,750 ‎我也一樣 1257 01:13:36,708 --> 01:13:37,833 ‎謝謝 1258 01:13:55,333 --> 01:13:56,458 ‎謝謝 1259 01:13:58,833 --> 01:13:59,666 ‎晚安 1260 01:14:00,708 --> 01:14:01,666 ‎晚安 1261 01:14:41,833 --> 01:14:43,250 ‎裡面有麥片 1262 01:14:48,208 --> 01:14:51,250 ‎喬許,聽我說 ‎對於我昨晚說的話,我… 1263 01:14:51,333 --> 01:14:53,125 ‎妳什麼都不必說 1264 01:14:53,208 --> 01:14:54,833 ‎不,我想說 1265 01:14:55,416 --> 01:14:56,875 ‎-嘿,孩子 ‎-我不應該… 1266 01:14:56,958 --> 01:14:59,750 ‎我需要你們幫忙 ‎快去換衣服,在車上見 1267 01:15:00,291 --> 01:15:01,166 ‎我們要去哪裡? 1268 01:15:01,750 --> 01:15:03,166 ‎閃松療養院 1269 01:15:03,750 --> 01:15:07,375 ‎拜託,奶奶,叫媽媽幫忙吧 ‎她喜歡那個地方 1270 01:15:07,458 --> 01:15:09,708 ‎我不需要你媽,我需要你 1271 01:15:10,750 --> 01:15:14,500 ‎我們開始了,各位,我們要開始了 1272 01:15:14,583 --> 01:15:16,750 ‎我們現在要開始了 1273 01:15:18,083 --> 01:15:20,666 ‎你們很多人都對網路交友感興趣 1274 01:15:20,750 --> 01:15:23,291 ‎我帶來了兩位專家 1275 01:15:23,375 --> 01:15:28,166 ‎我的孫子喬許,和他的未婚妻奈德麗 1276 01:15:29,541 --> 01:15:33,166 ‎他們在網路認識,現在訂婚了 1277 01:15:34,333 --> 01:15:37,000 ‎所以他們最適合來告訴你們 1278 01:15:37,083 --> 01:15:39,583 ‎網路交友的注意事項 1279 01:15:40,416 --> 01:15:41,916 ‎大家有問題嗎? 1280 01:15:42,500 --> 01:15:43,833 ‎我要怎麼表明 1281 01:15:43,916 --> 01:15:46,541 ‎我不是尋求一段長久的關係? 1282 01:15:46,625 --> 01:15:47,583 ‎對 1283 01:15:48,166 --> 01:15:50,000 ‎應該不言而喻了吧 1284 01:15:50,083 --> 01:15:54,208 ‎我一定要提及我有帕金森氏症嗎? 1285 01:15:54,291 --> 01:15:57,333 ‎我覺得坦白肯定沒有錯 1286 01:15:57,958 --> 01:16:01,416 ‎假如我稍微修飾一下呢? 1287 01:16:01,500 --> 01:16:04,458 ‎我不說“有帕金森氏症” 1288 01:16:04,541 --> 01:16:06,291 ‎我說… 1289 01:16:07,291 --> 01:16:08,833 ‎“很好動” 1290 01:16:08,916 --> 01:16:11,416 ‎好主意!我喜歡 1291 01:16:11,500 --> 01:16:14,166 ‎我不想說自己坐輪椅 1292 01:16:14,250 --> 01:16:17,958 ‎那就換個說法吧 ‎你說:“我喜歡跟朋友一起玩滾輪” 1293 01:16:18,041 --> 01:16:20,083 ‎說得太好了! 1294 01:16:20,166 --> 01:16:22,583 ‎各位,我想你們誤會了 1295 01:16:22,666 --> 01:16:26,875 ‎我住在療養院會令很多男人卻步嗎? 1296 01:16:27,500 --> 01:16:29,000 ‎不一定 1297 01:16:29,083 --> 01:16:32,041 ‎妳說“喜歡團體生活”就好了 1298 01:16:33,666 --> 01:16:38,833 ‎然後漢克就是比較喜歡待在室內 1299 01:16:44,333 --> 01:16:46,708 ‎別再說了,大家停一下 1300 01:16:49,500 --> 01:16:50,583 ‎我懂了 1301 01:16:50,666 --> 01:16:53,416 ‎我真的懂了 1302 01:16:54,166 --> 01:16:56,291 ‎你們想展現自己最好的一面 1303 01:16:57,208 --> 01:16:59,583 ‎你們以前過著充實而精彩的生活 1304 01:16:59,666 --> 01:17:01,083 ‎你們是好人 1305 01:17:01,166 --> 01:17:04,500 ‎環遊世界,打仗 1306 01:17:05,083 --> 01:17:07,083 ‎葛萊迪,妳還見過辛納屈呢 1307 01:17:07,166 --> 01:17:09,500 ‎我聽說過妳在火鶴飯店的那一夜 1308 01:17:11,375 --> 01:17:16,916 ‎但後來你們漸漸覺得不安 ‎你們開始把自己說得厲害一點 1309 01:17:18,041 --> 01:17:20,875 ‎依然是你們自己,只是更耀眼 1310 01:17:21,583 --> 01:17:23,666 ‎但你們喜歡這樣的自己 1311 01:17:24,666 --> 01:17:27,000 ‎所以你們再一點一點修改自己的資料 1312 01:17:28,416 --> 01:17:32,458 ‎直到真正的你們變得面目全非 1313 01:17:33,291 --> 01:17:35,750 ‎其實原本的你們已經很棒 1314 01:17:38,166 --> 01:17:39,250 ‎但問題來了 1315 01:17:40,833 --> 01:17:42,541 ‎你不僅是在騙自己 1316 01:17:43,666 --> 01:17:46,833 ‎另一邊被你騙的那個人 1317 01:17:47,416 --> 01:17:51,500 ‎戀上一個不存在的你 1318 01:17:52,875 --> 01:17:54,916 ‎這樣很不公平 1319 01:17:55,541 --> 01:17:59,250 ‎因為對方唯一的結局就是失望 1320 01:17:59,833 --> 01:18:01,750 ‎而你唯一的結局 1321 01:18:02,916 --> 01:18:03,875 ‎就是傷心 1322 01:18:07,875 --> 01:18:09,875 ‎如果我從中學到什麼 1323 01:18:09,958 --> 01:18:13,041 ‎就是愛不一定要完美 1324 01:18:14,375 --> 01:18:16,125 ‎但一定要誠實 1325 01:18:23,583 --> 01:18:27,625 ‎-曲線玲瓏的“玲”字有沒有草字頭? ‎-沒有 1326 01:18:36,000 --> 01:18:40,500 ‎我好像一直沒注意到 ‎因為我無時無刻都在生你的氣 1327 01:18:40,583 --> 01:18:44,333 ‎所以從沒停下來思考你這樣做的原因 1328 01:18:44,416 --> 01:18:48,458 ‎聽我說,奈德麗,原因已不再重要了 1329 01:18:48,541 --> 01:18:51,708 ‎這是錯的,我一開始就不該叫妳說謊 1330 01:18:51,791 --> 01:18:55,333 ‎我會對我家人和盤托出 ‎把一切說清楚 1331 01:18:55,416 --> 01:18:58,083 ‎等等,什麼?不行,你不可以這麼做 1332 01:18:58,166 --> 01:19:00,541 ‎喬許,這不全是你的錯,我是說… 1333 01:19:02,000 --> 01:19:04,250 ‎況且一言既出,駟馬難追 ‎我們也做到這地步了 1334 01:19:04,333 --> 01:19:08,291 ‎還有兩天就到聖誕節 ‎我們照計畫演一場分手戲吧 1335 01:19:08,875 --> 01:19:10,125 ‎別擔心,我會讓他們相信 1336 01:19:11,125 --> 01:19:13,000 ‎我不知道,感覺不對勁 1337 01:19:14,375 --> 01:19:16,208 ‎奶奶,車在那邊! 1338 01:19:16,833 --> 01:19:18,750 ‎奶奶!走錯路了! 1339 01:19:19,250 --> 01:19:20,125 ‎等等! 1340 01:19:20,875 --> 01:19:21,916 ‎(艾博特牛排館) 1341 01:19:22,000 --> 01:19:23,250 ‎奶奶,妳要去哪裡? 1342 01:19:25,750 --> 01:19:28,416 ‎驚喜! 1343 01:19:32,958 --> 01:19:37,000 ‎我們很興奮妳加入我們的家庭! 1344 01:19:39,166 --> 01:19:43,208 ‎你父母為我們辦一個 ‎驚喜訂婚派對嗎?在這裡? 1345 01:19:43,708 --> 01:19:45,750 ‎對,並不理想 1346 01:19:47,333 --> 01:19:48,625 ‎來狂歡吧! 1347 01:19:51,416 --> 01:19:52,791 ‎-嗨 ‎-嘿 1348 01:19:52,875 --> 01:19:54,125 ‎你在這裡做什麼? 1349 01:19:54,208 --> 01:19:57,833 ‎妳阿姨問我們能不能在這裡 ‎為喬許辦驚喜訂婚派對 1350 01:19:57,916 --> 01:19:59,458 ‎我只是盡一點微薄之力 1351 01:19:59,958 --> 01:20:02,041 ‎準新娘呢?我還沒見過她 1352 01:20:02,125 --> 01:20:03,291 ‎她到處跟賓客聊天 1353 01:20:03,375 --> 01:20:06,583 ‎-恭喜妳,親愛的 ‎-謝謝,你看起來很餓 1354 01:20:06,666 --> 01:20:08,625 ‎他為什麼要恭喜妳? 1355 01:20:09,416 --> 01:20:10,625 ‎你沒聽說嗎? 1356 01:20:11,583 --> 01:20:14,291 ‎我是超級市場的第一百萬位顧客 1357 01:20:15,000 --> 01:20:16,333 ‎不易腐爛的貨品終生免費 1358 01:20:16,875 --> 01:20:19,041 ‎-對,我真幸運! ‎-我知道一個很棒的慈善… 1359 01:20:19,125 --> 01:20:22,291 ‎你知道衣帽間在哪嗎? ‎可以幫我拿過去嗎? 1360 01:20:22,833 --> 01:20:24,875 ‎-非常感謝 ‎-對了,妳很漂亮 1361 01:20:24,958 --> 01:20:26,000 ‎謝謝 1362 01:20:29,083 --> 01:20:30,208 ‎要餐前小吃嗎? 1363 01:20:30,291 --> 01:20:32,750 ‎林狗!恭喜你,兄弟! 1364 01:20:32,833 --> 01:20:37,083 ‎艾老石!我媽果然邀請了鎮上所有人 1365 01:20:37,166 --> 01:20:41,125 ‎其實我是把你女朋友的行李箱送過來 1366 01:20:41,208 --> 01:20:44,250 ‎裡面有很多性感內衣褲,你真幸運 1367 01:20:46,583 --> 01:20:48,125 ‎我得說我很驚訝 1368 01:20:48,750 --> 01:20:49,791 ‎李爾? 1369 01:20:49,875 --> 01:20:53,625 ‎-我原本覺得妳的戀情會泡湯 ‎-你怎麼在這裡? 1370 01:20:53,708 --> 01:20:56,208 ‎坐頭等艙飛來 ‎親愛的,我不是平民百姓 1371 01:20:56,291 --> 01:20:57,625 ‎不,我是說… 1372 01:20:57,708 --> 01:21:00,416 ‎不是只有妳懂上網追蹤別人 1373 01:21:00,500 --> 01:21:05,000 ‎多虧芭芭的臉書 ‎我才知道有這場小型晚會,哈囉! 1374 01:21:08,958 --> 01:21:10,583 ‎嘿,情況怎麼樣? 1375 01:21:11,333 --> 01:21:13,208 ‎阿德和李爾都在這裡 1376 01:21:13,291 --> 01:21:16,458 ‎-李爾?妳現在跟兩個人交往嗎? ‎-不,他是我老闆 1377 01:21:16,541 --> 01:21:18,250 ‎什麼?他怎麼會在這裡? 1378 01:21:18,333 --> 01:21:19,583 ‎因為上帝討厭我喔 1379 01:21:21,583 --> 01:21:23,208 ‎格蘭利威12年威士忌,不加冰塊 1380 01:21:24,083 --> 01:21:25,666 ‎你很懂得喝酒呢 1381 01:21:26,250 --> 01:21:29,833 ‎表現自然點,我們會想到辦法 ‎我們別分開,知道嗎? 1382 01:21:29,916 --> 01:21:32,375 ‎嘿,寶貝,我想向妳介紹我的父母 1383 01:21:32,875 --> 01:21:33,833 ‎我先溜了 1384 01:21:33,916 --> 01:21:35,041 ‎你怎麼會來這裡? 1385 01:21:35,583 --> 01:21:36,875 ‎我是奈德麗的老闆 1386 01:21:38,375 --> 01:21:39,208 ‎真的嗎? 1387 01:21:40,291 --> 01:21:41,166 ‎願聞其詳 1388 01:21:41,250 --> 01:21:43,416 ‎爸爸媽媽,這位是奈德麗 1389 01:21:43,500 --> 01:21:44,375 ‎妳好 1390 01:21:44,458 --> 01:21:46,208 ‎-嗨 ‎-阿德跟我們說了很多妳的事 1391 01:21:46,291 --> 01:21:48,791 ‎他從沒提過女朋友的事,那麼… 1392 01:21:48,875 --> 01:21:49,833 ‎爸爸,拜託 1393 01:21:49,916 --> 01:21:53,833 ‎女朋友,哇 ‎很高興認識你們,我要… 1394 01:21:54,375 --> 01:21:56,166 ‎我要去洗手間 1395 01:21:57,500 --> 01:22:00,333 ‎-別走那麼快,我們得談一下 ‎-我有點忙,歐文 1396 01:22:00,416 --> 01:22:02,333 ‎跟妳的情人阿德談話嗎? 1397 01:22:02,416 --> 01:22:06,125 ‎對,我昨晚在這裡看到你們 ‎一副溫馨的樣子 1398 01:22:06,916 --> 01:22:09,000 ‎事情不是你所想的那樣 1399 01:22:09,083 --> 01:22:11,708 ‎真好笑,因為我不知道該怎麼想 1400 01:22:11,791 --> 01:22:14,083 ‎直到剛才我和妳的老闆談過 1401 01:22:14,166 --> 01:22:15,916 ‎現在一切都說得通了 1402 01:22:16,000 --> 01:22:18,500 ‎聽著,我可以解釋,事情是… 1403 01:22:19,208 --> 01:22:23,166 ‎我不想聽妳的解釋 ‎我只希望妳別再跟我弟弟演戲了 1404 01:22:25,750 --> 01:22:27,333 ‎請給我兩杯凱歌香檳 1405 01:22:27,416 --> 01:22:29,916 ‎-阿德,你怎麼了? ‎-小艾,怎麼了? 1406 01:22:30,000 --> 01:22:32,333 ‎你能相信林狗要結婚了嗎? 1407 01:22:32,416 --> 01:22:33,875 ‎他的妞兒也很棒 1408 01:22:33,958 --> 01:22:35,791 ‎-我還沒見過她 ‎-她就在那邊 1409 01:22:36,458 --> 01:22:37,833 ‎老兄,那是他表妹 1410 01:22:37,916 --> 01:22:41,541 ‎我不批判,愛情是沒有道理可言的 1411 01:22:42,291 --> 01:22:44,916 ‎我為什麼要相信妳說的話? 1412 01:22:45,000 --> 01:22:46,916 ‎嘿!你們沒事吧? 1413 01:22:47,000 --> 01:22:48,041 ‎-有事! ‎-沒事 1414 01:22:49,000 --> 01:22:53,083 ‎奈德麗來紐約州 ‎不是為了愛情,而是為了寫故事 1415 01:22:53,166 --> 01:22:55,083 ‎她從一開始就在耍你,弟弟 1416 01:22:55,166 --> 01:22:58,583 ‎她的專欄叫“悲慘約會故事” ‎你不是她的未婚夫 1417 01:22:58,666 --> 01:23:00,166 ‎你只是她的寫作題材 1418 01:23:00,250 --> 01:23:02,375 ‎-不要… ‎-等等,什麼?小奈 1419 01:23:02,458 --> 01:23:03,625 ‎他在說什麼? 1420 01:23:05,833 --> 01:23:07,666 ‎大家可以注意一下我好嗎? 1421 01:23:09,791 --> 01:23:12,583 ‎我不擅長演說,所以我長話短說 1422 01:23:14,416 --> 01:23:15,583 ‎喬許 1423 01:23:16,250 --> 01:23:19,666 ‎我知道我們常有意見不合的時候 1424 01:23:19,750 --> 01:23:22,333 ‎但你是個心胸寬廣的好孩子 1425 01:23:22,416 --> 01:23:27,875 ‎我們上星期跟你漂亮的未婚妻相處後 1426 01:23:28,500 --> 01:23:31,958 ‎我想全家都同意你選到一位嬌妻了! 1427 01:23:32,041 --> 01:23:34,083 ‎我太為你高興了,兒子 1428 01:23:34,166 --> 01:23:37,958 ‎我們來為未來的林氏夫婦舉杯祝酒 1429 01:23:38,041 --> 01:23:39,833 ‎-喬許和… ‎-不要! 1430 01:23:43,291 --> 01:23:44,125 ‎且慢 1431 01:23:46,833 --> 01:23:50,250 ‎要說完所有感言才可以乾杯 1432 01:23:50,333 --> 01:23:55,958 ‎我是說…我想說幾句 1433 01:23:56,041 --> 01:23:59,166 ‎補充你精彩的祝酒詞 1434 01:23:59,750 --> 01:24:01,250 ‎是祝酒詞的續集 1435 01:24:02,833 --> 01:24:06,166 ‎關於愛和喬許 1436 01:24:06,250 --> 01:24:07,458 ‎還有… 1437 01:24:15,125 --> 01:24:16,375 ‎不誠實 1438 01:24:17,958 --> 01:24:21,416 ‎因為我一直就是這樣,不誠實 1439 01:24:22,541 --> 01:24:25,041 ‎對喬許、林家 1440 01:24:25,625 --> 01:24:26,458 ‎阿德 1441 01:24:26,958 --> 01:24:28,250 ‎對所有人都不誠實,我… 1442 01:24:31,708 --> 01:24:32,666 ‎說出來吧 1443 01:24:33,750 --> 01:24:36,125 ‎四星期前,我在網路認識了一個人 1444 01:24:36,833 --> 01:24:41,083 ‎他聰明、風趣、貼心 ‎他長著他這張臉 1445 01:24:42,458 --> 01:24:45,625 ‎所以我決定來這裡 ‎給他一個聖誕驚喜 1446 01:24:46,875 --> 01:24:48,958 ‎但我來到這裡時,我才發現 1447 01:24:49,041 --> 01:24:51,916 ‎跟我交談的人其實是他 1448 01:24:53,416 --> 01:24:54,708 ‎我陷入網戀騙局 1449 01:24:55,291 --> 01:24:56,625 ‎我很生氣 1450 01:24:57,875 --> 01:25:01,208 ‎但喬許告訴我 ‎如果我在佳節時扮他的女友 1451 01:25:01,291 --> 01:25:03,750 ‎他會幫我追到阿德 1452 01:25:04,250 --> 01:25:08,625 ‎我真的以為我的真命天子就在這裡 1453 01:25:08,708 --> 01:25:12,250 ‎所以我同意扮成另一個人,但是… 1454 01:25:13,416 --> 01:25:15,333 ‎我只想有幸福的結局 1455 01:25:18,250 --> 01:25:23,125 ‎但我不能再這樣了 ‎我不能說謊,我不可以,對不起 1456 01:25:25,166 --> 01:25:26,708 ‎我很抱歉 1457 01:25:31,125 --> 01:25:32,416 ‎妳玩攀岩嗎? 1458 01:25:34,750 --> 01:25:35,666 ‎那梭羅呢? 1459 01:25:36,708 --> 01:25:37,750 ‎我討厭他 1460 01:25:38,500 --> 01:25:39,458 ‎雪橇呢? 1461 01:25:40,125 --> 01:25:42,416 ‎我要靠抽大麻,才撐得過去 1462 01:25:43,125 --> 01:25:45,333 ‎好耶,妳最厲害 1463 01:25:46,333 --> 01:25:51,083 ‎好,妳氣喬許在網路用虛假身份騙妳 1464 01:25:51,166 --> 01:25:53,666 ‎然後妳用相同的方式來對我 1465 01:25:59,791 --> 01:26:01,000 ‎恭喜 1466 01:26:05,333 --> 01:26:06,708 ‎對了 1467 01:26:07,291 --> 01:26:09,541 ‎《終極警探》不是聖誕電影 1468 01:26:10,541 --> 01:26:11,541 ‎對 1469 01:26:17,250 --> 01:26:20,458 ‎好吧,表演結束了 ‎這裡沒什麼好看了,好嗎? 1470 01:26:20,541 --> 01:26:21,625 ‎好嗎? 1471 01:26:23,208 --> 01:26:25,875 ‎該回家了,別再盯著我弟弟了 1472 01:27:20,041 --> 01:27:24,083 ‎無法熊熊燃燒的熱情最終會熄滅 1473 01:27:24,166 --> 01:27:26,833 ‎別害怕做你自己,奈德麗 1474 01:27:29,625 --> 01:27:33,208 ‎那是他們的招牌菜 ‎牛排還是像從前一樣好吃 1475 01:27:43,291 --> 01:27:44,333 ‎她走了 1476 01:27:50,958 --> 01:27:52,166 ‎寶貝 1477 01:27:52,708 --> 01:27:55,541 ‎親愛的,我很難過 1478 01:28:01,000 --> 01:28:02,208 ‎謝謝妳,奶奶 1479 01:28:07,333 --> 01:28:08,875 ‎振作點,小熊弟弟 1480 01:28:14,250 --> 01:28:15,166 ‎對不起,喬許 1481 01:28:16,458 --> 01:28:17,375 ‎沒關係 1482 01:28:27,791 --> 01:28:31,250 ‎這樣說吧,事情發生… 1483 01:28:41,958 --> 01:28:43,083 ‎我很難過,兒子 1484 01:28:47,666 --> 01:28:48,583 ‎這些是什麼? 1485 01:28:49,708 --> 01:28:52,333 ‎只是我做的蠟燭,沒什麼 1486 01:28:55,875 --> 01:28:56,958 ‎你做的嗎? 1487 01:28:57,666 --> 01:28:59,166 ‎你做蠟燭? 1488 01:29:00,125 --> 01:29:02,958 ‎沒什麼大不了,只是我的嗜好 1489 01:29:07,250 --> 01:29:08,083 ‎哇 1490 01:29:08,750 --> 01:29:10,125 ‎我不知道你怎麼做的,但… 1491 01:29:11,333 --> 01:29:13,375 ‎這氣味跟爺爺一模一樣 1492 01:29:13,458 --> 01:29:16,166 ‎就好像他跟我們同在這個房間裡 1493 01:29:18,916 --> 01:29:20,750 ‎我聞得到他鬚後水的味道 1494 01:29:23,375 --> 01:29:25,083 ‎他毛衣的羊毛 1495 01:29:28,375 --> 01:29:31,250 ‎還有一種東西我辨認不到 1496 01:29:32,083 --> 01:29:33,875 ‎-尤加利樹? ‎-奔肌酸痛藥膏 1497 01:29:36,416 --> 01:29:39,458 ‎嗯,這個嗜好太棒了 1498 01:29:42,375 --> 01:29:46,250 ‎爸爸,其實這個不只是嗜好 1499 01:29:46,750 --> 01:29:50,083 ‎這應該可以發展成一門大生意 1500 01:29:51,000 --> 01:29:54,333 ‎我知道,這並非幫助別人 ‎登上珠穆朗瑪峰 1501 01:29:54,416 --> 01:29:57,458 ‎或是為大堡礁提供潛水裝備 1502 01:29:58,000 --> 01:30:01,541 ‎但這是我想窮一生時間去做的事 1503 01:30:04,000 --> 01:30:04,916 ‎等等 1504 01:30:06,333 --> 01:30:08,625 ‎你是說你不想再在店裡工作嗎? 1505 01:30:09,708 --> 01:30:11,458 ‎對,沒錯 1506 01:30:11,541 --> 01:30:13,541 ‎對不起,爸爸 1507 01:30:15,958 --> 01:30:16,958 ‎謝天謝地 1508 01:30:19,166 --> 01:30:23,416 ‎我愛你,兒子 ‎但你推銷體育用品的表現很爛 1509 01:30:23,500 --> 01:30:24,875 ‎我知道! 1510 01:30:28,208 --> 01:30:29,750 ‎你不生我的氣嗎? 1511 01:30:30,916 --> 01:30:32,041 ‎當然不生氣 1512 01:30:34,583 --> 01:30:36,750 ‎我兒子想做蠟燭 1513 01:30:38,541 --> 01:30:40,958 ‎那就去做蠟燭吧 1514 01:30:44,833 --> 01:30:45,666 ‎對 1515 01:30:53,208 --> 01:30:56,625 ‎(機票停售) 1516 01:31:07,166 --> 01:31:10,458 ‎(普萊西德湖之家) 1517 01:31:19,250 --> 01:31:21,791 ‎妳不會在玻璃杯底下找到我的文章 1518 01:31:21,875 --> 01:31:25,083 ‎天啊,李爾,你無處不在呢 1519 01:31:25,166 --> 01:31:26,666 ‎一杯啤酒,麻煩你 1520 01:31:26,750 --> 01:31:27,875 ‎沒問題 1521 01:31:28,625 --> 01:31:32,166 ‎小妞,訂婚派對上 ‎妳的祝酒詞真是非同凡響 1522 01:31:32,250 --> 01:31:35,708 ‎但說正經的,妳這次簡直一敗塗地 ‎連我也受不了 1523 01:31:36,458 --> 01:31:37,541 ‎妳還好嗎? 1524 01:31:38,583 --> 01:31:42,583 ‎你有看到喬許的表情嗎? ‎我現在是超級無敵不好 1525 01:31:43,125 --> 01:31:45,333 ‎當妳發現自己被對方欺騙時 1526 01:31:45,416 --> 01:31:46,708 ‎妳為什麼不離開? 1527 01:31:47,416 --> 01:31:50,208 ‎因為我欠你一篇文章,我不想被開除 1528 01:31:50,291 --> 01:31:53,333 ‎我開除妳四次了,妳只是一直賴著 1529 01:31:53,916 --> 01:31:55,458 ‎妳為什麼不離開? 1530 01:31:57,583 --> 01:31:59,625 ‎我不知道 1531 01:31:59,708 --> 01:32:01,750 ‎好吧,我覺得很奇怪 1532 01:32:01,833 --> 01:32:04,583 ‎因為妳通常 ‎一發現對方的缺點就會跑掉 1533 01:32:05,125 --> 01:32:08,291 ‎喬許有缺點,但妳還決定留下來? 1534 01:32:09,041 --> 01:32:10,833 ‎這不重要 1535 01:32:11,875 --> 01:32:13,833 ‎這是唯一重要的事 1536 01:32:23,541 --> 01:32:27,416 ‎我要回房間了,文章不會自動變出來 1537 01:32:27,500 --> 01:32:29,791 ‎好主意,別以為我們現在是姐妹 1538 01:32:29,875 --> 01:32:31,375 ‎我就不會開除妳喔 1539 01:32:45,125 --> 01:32:49,375 ‎《韋伯字典》把愛定義為… 1540 01:32:51,083 --> 01:32:56,166 ‎借用席琳狄翁的名曲 ‎“我心也將永不止息” 1541 01:33:07,208 --> 01:33:08,041 ‎什麼? 1542 01:33:23,875 --> 01:33:26,875 ‎你們一半人喜歡看很慘的約會故事 1543 01:33:26,958 --> 01:33:29,458 ‎另一半則愛看童話般的浪漫愛情 1544 01:33:29,541 --> 01:33:32,916 ‎前一半的人會很開心 1545 01:33:33,458 --> 01:33:34,791 ‎我來解釋一下 1546 01:33:35,375 --> 01:33:37,291 ‎一切從滑手機開始 1547 01:33:38,750 --> 01:33:41,875 ‎德艾博特,主要… ‎宙斯的兒子…林喬許… 1548 01:33:41,958 --> 01:33:46,250 ‎他的家人收留我 ‎我這輩子從沒這麼難過 1549 01:33:46,333 --> 01:33:50,833 ‎各位滿意了,又一場破紀錄的悲劇 1550 01:33:50,916 --> 01:33:55,083 ‎但這次我意識到為了找到真愛 1551 01:33:55,166 --> 01:33:57,666 ‎我也必須展現自己真實的一面 1552 01:33:58,208 --> 01:34:00,625 ‎也許這一直是問題所在,我是說… 1553 01:34:01,208 --> 01:34:04,166 ‎我一直糾結於別人的欺瞞 1554 01:34:04,250 --> 01:34:06,916 ‎卻從沒停下來正視自己的欺瞞 1555 01:34:07,000 --> 01:34:11,125 ‎如果我有這樣做 ‎也許我最終會看清楚眼前的事物 1556 01:34:11,708 --> 01:34:14,291 ‎也許我的故事結局可能是… 1557 01:34:27,916 --> 01:34:31,958 ‎(來撩吧 ‎妳所在區域有新的個人檔案!) 1558 01:34:32,041 --> 01:34:38,458 ‎(喬許,30歲 ‎蠟燭製造商,距離1.6公里) 1559 01:34:47,250 --> 01:34:51,750 ‎(尋找真正了解我的人) 1560 01:35:24,708 --> 01:35:25,541 ‎是誰? 1561 01:35:28,666 --> 01:35:30,916 ‎(你說是摩門教徒) 1562 01:35:32,458 --> 01:35:34,125 ‎是摩門教徒 1563 01:35:34,208 --> 01:35:37,166 ‎說最後一次,我們不改變信仰! 1564 01:35:47,083 --> 01:35:49,958 ‎(我花了一輩子) 1565 01:35:52,125 --> 01:35:54,916 ‎(尋找完美的男人) 1566 01:35:56,916 --> 01:36:01,458 ‎(但現在有個完美的男人) 1567 01:36:01,541 --> 01:36:03,208 ‎(而且跟我天生一對) 1568 01:36:07,291 --> 01:36:10,583 ‎(大多數人想找一個 ‎一起看報紙週日版的人) 1569 01:36:12,583 --> 01:36:15,625 ‎(我就想找一個在週六晚 ‎和我一起偷報紙的人) 1570 01:36:19,416 --> 01:36:25,250 ‎(那麼你可以原諒我) 1571 01:36:25,333 --> 01:36:27,666 ‎(花這麼久才意識到) 1572 01:36:33,541 --> 01:36:36,791 ‎(那個人是你嗎?) 1573 01:36:37,833 --> 01:36:40,125 ‎(我可以真的戀愛了嗎?) 1574 01:37:11,875 --> 01:37:15,333 ‎(中大獎,大混蛋!) 1575 01:37:18,791 --> 01:37:20,041 ‎我們現在該怎麼辦? 1576 01:37:22,708 --> 01:37:25,208 ‎親她,笨蛋! 1577 01:37:52,708 --> 01:37:57,625 ‎沒錯,我以為飛了4800公里 ‎是來找出我故事的結局 1578 01:38:00,208 --> 01:38:04,083 ‎我卻找到了一個故事的開端 1579 01:38:16,208 --> 01:38:18,833 ‎好吧,這份禮物不是我的,是喬許 1580 01:38:18,916 --> 01:38:19,750 ‎歐文! 1581 01:38:21,625 --> 01:38:24,041 ‎你們兩個,該拆禮物了! 1582 01:38:24,583 --> 01:38:27,250 ‎我得警告妳,說到聖誕禮物這回事時 1583 01:38:27,333 --> 01:38:29,375 ‎我的家人是非常認真的 1584 01:38:30,458 --> 01:38:32,041 ‎不會吧 1585 01:38:35,208 --> 01:38:36,541 ‎你們來了 1586 01:38:36,625 --> 01:38:38,791 ‎一個簡單問題,什麼是老二照? 1587 01:38:41,458 --> 01:38:43,000 ‎妳想答這問題嗎? 1588 01:44:39,625 --> 01:44:44,625 ‎字幕翻譯:李恒聰