1
00:00:05,939 --> 00:00:07,609
(crickets chirping)
2
00:00:07,674 --> 00:00:10,444
(tense music)
3
00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:17,451
♪♪ ♪♪
4
00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:30,500
(rustling)
5
00:00:34,167 --> 00:00:41,007
♪♪ ♪♪
6
00:00:41,074 --> 00:00:43,214
(gurgling)
7
00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:49,680
(dramatic music)
8
00:00:51,918 --> 00:00:58,088
♪♪ ♪♪
9
00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:02,161
(rustling)
10
00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:17,907
JOHN: All right, Zeb.
Hand it over.
11
00:01:17,978 --> 00:01:19,448
ZEB: No.
12
00:01:19,513 --> 00:01:21,853
But I just proved that case
belongs to my client.
13
00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:23,115
Did you, though?
14
00:01:23,183 --> 00:01:25,093
Zeb, when are you gonna
cover these tubs, bro?
15
00:01:25,151 --> 00:01:27,491
'Cause this water
is really disgusting.
16
00:01:27,554 --> 00:01:29,864
Okay, David.
Yes, I did prove it.
17
00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:31,493
‐The heat of the car engine...
‐ZEB: Right, right, right.
18
00:01:31,558 --> 00:01:33,228
The fact that starlings aren't
native to the United States.
19
00:01:33,293 --> 00:01:34,863
‐The egg timer.
‐ZEB: Yeah, yeah.
20
00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:36,398
‐We just went through this.
‐I guess you got me.
21
00:01:36,462 --> 00:01:38,302
Right, thank you.
Hand it over.
22
00:01:38,364 --> 00:01:39,934
‐Nah.
‐(groans)
23
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:41,000
Okay, David.
You're up.
24
00:01:41,067 --> 00:01:42,037
Gimmie.
25
00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:43,802
You touch me, you die.
26
00:01:43,870 --> 00:01:45,210
Okay, Zeb.
Get ready.
27
00:01:45,271 --> 00:01:46,641
I'm about to touch you.
28
00:01:46,707 --> 00:01:47,737
ZEB: Oh, God!
29
00:01:47,808 --> 00:01:50,508
Well, Zeb, looks like
you're all wet.
30
00:01:50,577 --> 00:01:51,777
Oh, my God.
31
00:01:51,845 --> 00:01:53,775
I fucking zinged you
Super Friends style.
32
00:01:53,847 --> 00:01:54,847
Let's go.
33
00:01:54,915 --> 00:01:56,715
Oh, fuck you, man!
34
00:01:56,783 --> 00:01:59,953
I hope you get ass crabs
from my stank‐ass tub water!
35
00:02:00,020 --> 00:02:02,960
(dramatic music)
36
00:02:03,023 --> 00:02:05,633
♪♪ ♪♪
37
00:02:05,692 --> 00:02:06,992
DAVID: You know what, man?
I'm offended.
38
00:02:07,060 --> 00:02:08,030
JOHN: What?
39
00:02:08,094 --> 00:02:09,164
I was trying not
to say anything,
40
00:02:09,229 --> 00:02:10,929
but you did it again
back there.
41
00:02:10,997 --> 00:02:13,867
You said my client and really
you should say our client.
42
00:02:13,934 --> 00:02:15,204
What?
No, it's my client.
43
00:02:15,268 --> 00:02:16,338
And also I don't like how you
44
00:02:16,402 --> 00:02:18,142
still call it
Hunchman Investigations.
45
00:02:18,204 --> 00:02:20,314
‐Ah, ten and two, David!
‐That name sucks.
46
00:02:20,373 --> 00:02:22,043
‐It's my name.
‐Well, it stinks.
47
00:02:22,108 --> 00:02:23,038
What would you call it?
48
00:02:23,109 --> 00:02:24,079
I would call it, like,
49
00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:26,554
Best Friends
Crime Solvers, LLC.
50
00:02:26,613 --> 00:02:28,353
‐(laughs)
‐That's a dope name.
51
00:02:28,414 --> 00:02:30,024
All of those words
are inaccurate,
52
00:02:30,083 --> 00:02:31,553
including LLC, by the way.
53
00:02:31,618 --> 00:02:33,018
‐I am incorporated.
‐Oh, my God.
54
00:02:33,086 --> 00:02:35,316
You sound like PBS right now.
No one gives a shit.
55
00:02:35,388 --> 00:02:37,588
David, look,
I'm a detective.
56
00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:39,728
I've been a detective
my whole life.
57
00:02:39,793 --> 00:02:40,733
I know.
58
00:02:40,794 --> 00:02:41,764
I've been helping you
your whole life.
59
00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:43,258
Helping‐‐how have you
been helping me?
60
00:02:43,329 --> 00:02:44,769
Oh, my God!
61
00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:46,801
By keeping you busy and, like,
drumming up business.
62
00:02:46,867 --> 00:02:47,627
(school bell rings)
63
00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:49,071
And this proves that the real
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00:02:49,135 --> 00:02:50,235
thief of the class hamster
65
00:02:50,303 --> 00:02:51,613
was David Purfoy.
66
00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:53,242
‐Shut up, nerd.
‐(grunts)
67
00:02:53,306 --> 00:02:54,366
(school bell rings)
68
00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:56,010
And so the great
bubble gum swindle
69
00:02:56,076 --> 00:02:58,306
could only have been pulled off
by David Purfoy.
70
00:02:58,378 --> 00:02:59,878
‐Eat floor, narc.
‐Hey!
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00:02:59,946 --> 00:03:00,846
(school bell rings)
72
00:03:00,914 --> 00:03:02,084
(sighs)
73
00:03:02,148 --> 00:03:03,048
Need I point out
that the only person
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00:03:03,116 --> 00:03:04,116
who would bother to melt down
75
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:05,524
the tae kwon do team's trophy
76
00:03:05,586 --> 00:03:08,146
to make it into a bong
is David Purfoy?
77
00:03:08,221 --> 00:03:09,391
(coughing)
78
00:03:09,455 --> 00:03:11,415
‐Someone else shove him.
‐Hey!
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00:03:11,491 --> 00:03:12,561
(school bell rings)
80
00:03:12,626 --> 00:03:14,256
You feed off me to survive.
81
00:03:14,327 --> 00:03:15,757
You're like one of those
little birds that lives
82
00:03:15,829 --> 00:03:18,129
on the back of a rhinoceros
eating bugs.
83
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:19,598
You're talking about
the oxpecker bird?
84
00:03:19,666 --> 00:03:21,536
DAVID: (laughing)
Yeah!
85
00:03:21,602 --> 00:03:23,972
That's so perfect!
You're the oxpecker!
86
00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:26,307
‐I'm not the oxpecker.
‐You're a little oxpecker.
87
00:03:26,372 --> 00:03:28,412
No, you‐‐you're the oxpecker.
I'm the rhinoceros.
88
00:03:28,474 --> 00:03:29,784
‐You work for me.
‐I'm the rhinoceros, man.
89
00:03:29,843 --> 00:03:31,143
‐You're crazy.
‐How is that?
90
00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:32,711
‐Whose car is this?
‐Oh.
91
00:03:32,779 --> 00:03:34,449
DAVID: Whose Fiero
are you sitting in?
92
00:03:34,515 --> 00:03:35,815
JOHN: It's your Fiero.
93
00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:38,182
I can tell because you wrote
your name in Wite‐Out
94
00:03:38,251 --> 00:03:39,191
on the glove compartment.
95
00:03:39,252 --> 00:03:40,792
(rock music)
96
00:03:40,854 --> 00:03:42,124
(doorbell rings)
97
00:03:42,188 --> 00:03:43,818
You know, sometimes, I think
you only think of me
98
00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:45,030
as, like, your muscle.
99
00:03:45,091 --> 00:03:46,791
Yeah, well, I don't want
to hurt your feelings, David,
100
00:03:46,860 --> 00:03:48,390
but that's right,
you're muscle.
101
00:03:48,461 --> 00:03:50,061
‐Wow.
‐That's what I need you for.
102
00:03:50,130 --> 00:03:51,000
DAVID: Okay.
103
00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:52,374
I mean, Dicktown's
a rougher place.
104
00:03:52,432 --> 00:03:53,832
We're not teenagers anymore.
105
00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:56,100
Uh, crime‐solving
is completely different now.
106
00:03:56,169 --> 00:03:57,799
‐Did you get it?
‐Hi, Tucker.
107
00:03:57,871 --> 00:03:58,871
Yeah, we got it.
108
00:03:58,939 --> 00:04:00,009
(sniffs)
109
00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:01,473
It smells like swimmer's farts.
110
00:04:03,176 --> 00:04:04,546
So what's in that case, anyway?
111
00:04:04,611 --> 00:04:06,051
Next week's AP History exam.
112
00:04:06,112 --> 00:04:07,152
(scoffs)
113
00:04:07,213 --> 00:04:08,153
Well, I'm glad I could help
114
00:04:08,214 --> 00:04:09,324
further the cause of justice.
115
00:04:09,382 --> 00:04:10,722
‐Why did Zeb want them?
‐I don't know.
116
00:04:10,784 --> 00:04:12,424
Some people just want
to watch the world burn.
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00:04:12,485 --> 00:04:15,285
Also, he had another buyer
at Small Mouth Poly Prep.
118
00:04:15,355 --> 00:04:17,015
Oh, my God.
Those snobs.
119
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:19,990
We used to call them
Small Dick Probably Pervs.
120
00:04:20,060 --> 00:04:21,060
‐Get it?
‐Yeah.
121
00:04:21,127 --> 00:04:22,427
Anyway, Tucker, about our fee?
122
00:04:22,495 --> 00:04:24,625
Right.
Cash flow problem.
123
00:04:24,698 --> 00:04:26,128
I gotta sell these
before I can pay you.
124
00:04:26,199 --> 00:04:27,269
Oh, come on, Tucker.
125
00:04:27,333 --> 00:04:28,643
I gotta make
house boat payments.
126
00:04:28,702 --> 00:04:30,642
You haven't returned
the drone I rented you.
127
00:04:30,704 --> 00:04:32,474
‐Well, it's in the shop.
‐It's not our fault, Tucker.
128
00:04:32,539 --> 00:04:33,539
Timothy tried
to make love to it.
129
00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:34,807
TUCKER: Who's Timothy?
130
00:04:34,875 --> 00:04:36,075
JOHN: My parents' labradoodle.
131
00:04:36,142 --> 00:04:37,642
I told you not
to tell him about that!
132
00:04:37,711 --> 00:04:39,211
Yeah, the best I can do
right now
133
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:40,749
is hook you up
with another job.
134
00:04:40,814 --> 00:04:42,524
A kid at school's
being bullied online.
135
00:04:42,583 --> 00:04:44,453
Hmm, a real person
who needs actual help.
136
00:04:44,518 --> 00:04:46,348
‐Yes, and she can pay.
‐Fine.
137
00:04:46,419 --> 00:04:48,419
Forget about the drone
and we're square.
138
00:04:48,488 --> 00:04:50,588
‐It's a deal, detectives.
‐Ah, see?
139
00:04:50,657 --> 00:04:52,457
He said "detectives,"
plural.
140
00:04:52,526 --> 00:04:53,986
He's talking to me
like I'm just his muscle.
141
00:04:54,060 --> 00:04:55,030
That's not fair.
142
00:04:55,095 --> 00:04:56,495
He also needs you
to drive him around
143
00:04:56,563 --> 00:04:57,663
because he doesn't have
a license,
144
00:04:57,731 --> 00:04:59,271
and people actually like you.
145
00:04:59,332 --> 00:05:03,342
Everyone thinks he's a weirdo
'cause he works for teenagers.
146
00:05:03,403 --> 00:05:05,343
‐(laughs)
‐Oh, Jesus, Tucker.
147
00:05:05,405 --> 00:05:06,905
Hey, it's your brand.
148
00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:08,313
Lean into it.
149
00:05:08,374 --> 00:05:10,444
(mellow electronic music)
150
00:05:14,781 --> 00:05:17,281
(mellow electronic music)
151
00:05:17,350 --> 00:05:20,250
(tense music)
152
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:21,820
Holy shit.
Look.
153
00:05:21,888 --> 00:05:22,758
Ah, shoot.
154
00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:24,963
I was hoping he wasn't real,
but he is.
155
00:05:25,025 --> 00:05:26,055
Piddlywinks.
Poop.
156
00:05:26,126 --> 00:05:29,656
A circulatory system
that actually knows karate.
157
00:05:29,730 --> 00:05:31,160
‐We are fucked.
‐We are fucked.
158
00:05:31,231 --> 00:05:32,171
We are fucked.
159
00:05:32,232 --> 00:05:34,502
‐We are fucked.
‐We are so fucked.
160
00:05:34,568 --> 00:05:36,838
‐We are fucked.
‐Ah, poop.
161
00:05:36,903 --> 00:05:38,813
Well, at least he can't see us.
Wait.
162
00:05:38,872 --> 00:05:40,912
Wait, wait.
163
00:05:40,974 --> 00:05:42,444
Um, can he see us?
164
00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:43,739
I don't know.
165
00:05:43,810 --> 00:05:46,250
Do circulatory systems
have eyeballs?
166
00:05:46,312 --> 00:05:47,852
MAN: Man, how would
I know that?
167
00:05:47,914 --> 00:05:48,654
Why don't you tell me?
168
00:05:48,715 --> 00:05:51,115
Me tell you?
How would I know?
169
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:53,794
Do I look like
an ophthalmologist?
170
00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:56,424
How would I know if you look
like an ophthalmologist, man?
171
00:05:56,489 --> 00:05:58,589
I don't go
to the ophthalmologist.
172
00:05:58,659 --> 00:05:59,429
Whoa.
173
00:05:59,492 --> 00:06:00,692
And besides,
174
00:06:00,761 --> 00:06:02,961
I have no interest
in your personal life.
175
00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:04,699
Hey, whoa, whoa.
176
00:06:04,765 --> 00:06:06,595
My personal life
is pretty cool.
177
00:06:06,667 --> 00:06:08,937
(melancholy music)
178
00:06:09,002 --> 00:06:11,372
Hello there.
Hello.
179
00:06:11,437 --> 00:06:13,437
Do you fight here often?
180
00:06:14,307 --> 00:06:15,877
I don't mean to be rude,
181
00:06:15,942 --> 00:06:19,112
but is it always this
excruciatingly boring and dull?
182
00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:25,145
Can I pay you a compliment?
183
00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:27,948
You remind me of my niece.
184
00:06:28,021 --> 00:06:33,931
♪♪ ♪♪
185
00:06:37,163 --> 00:06:39,073
You walked into my trap.
186
00:06:39,132 --> 00:06:41,402
I'm going to hurt your bodies,
187
00:06:41,467 --> 00:06:45,067
and then I'm going to erase
your minds.
188
00:06:45,138 --> 00:06:47,368
Ha, ha, ha.
189
00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:49,980
(upbeat music)
190
00:06:50,043 --> 00:06:52,153
♪♪ ♪♪
191
00:06:52,212 --> 00:06:54,112
(cool guitar music)
192
00:06:57,450 --> 00:07:00,390
(quirky music)
193
00:07:00,453 --> 00:07:02,323
♪♪ ♪♪
194
00:07:02,388 --> 00:07:05,528
(wind howling)
195
00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:08,462
♪♪ ♪♪
196
00:07:08,529 --> 00:07:10,629
Don't do it, man!
Don't jump!
197
00:07:10,697 --> 00:07:13,827
You got so much to live for!
198
00:07:13,900 --> 00:07:14,770
Huh?
199
00:07:14,835 --> 00:07:16,295
MAN: You still owe me
100 bucks!
200
00:07:16,369 --> 00:07:18,269
Jump?
What?
201
00:07:18,338 --> 00:07:21,578
(dog barking)
202
00:07:21,642 --> 00:07:28,252
♪♪ ♪♪
203
00:07:28,314 --> 00:07:31,484
BEN: Hey.
Hey, I‐I‐I see you.
204
00:07:31,552 --> 00:07:33,092
Y‐you trying to break in?
205
00:07:33,153 --> 00:07:34,923
Ah, not on my watch, pal.
206
00:07:34,988 --> 00:07:36,088
Oh, hush, Ben.
207
00:07:36,156 --> 00:07:37,686
Not all gypsies are thieves.
208
00:07:37,758 --> 00:07:40,228
I‐I didn't say he was a gypsy.
209
00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:42,163
Y‐you're a racist.
210
00:07:42,228 --> 00:07:49,098
♪♪ ♪♪
211
00:07:49,169 --> 00:07:51,299
You really went above
and beyond today, Walt.
212
00:07:51,371 --> 00:07:52,911
That was a risky move.
213
00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:56,813
It got us the results we need
to keep this whole thing going.
214
00:07:56,877 --> 00:07:58,377
And since you helped me out,
215
00:07:58,444 --> 00:08:00,354
I have something for you.
216
00:08:00,413 --> 00:08:02,253
Just a little thank you gift.
217
00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:05,345
♪♪ ♪♪
218
00:08:05,418 --> 00:08:07,388
(pigeon cooing)
219
00:08:07,453 --> 00:08:14,563
♪♪ ♪♪
220
00:08:23,236 --> 00:08:25,736
Oh, oh, I don't think
he's trying to break in, Ben!
221
00:08:25,806 --> 00:08:28,336
I think he's trying to help
that boy on the ledge.
222
00:08:28,408 --> 00:08:29,838
(groaning)
223
00:08:32,312 --> 00:08:34,782
♪♪ ♪♪
224
00:08:34,848 --> 00:08:36,718
Oh, no!
Oh, God!
225
00:08:36,783 --> 00:08:39,023
Hold on!
Help is on the way!
226
00:08:39,085 --> 00:08:43,955
♪♪ ♪♪
227
00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:46,234
(dog barking)
228
00:08:46,292 --> 00:08:50,662
♪♪ ♪♪
229
00:08:50,731 --> 00:08:53,671
(distant sirens blaring)
230
00:08:53,734 --> 00:08:56,644
(triumphant music)
231
00:08:56,703 --> 00:08:58,573
Oh, God!
My thong!
232
00:08:58,639 --> 00:09:03,139
♪♪ ♪♪
233
00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:05,679
Sir, stay where you are!
234
00:09:05,746 --> 00:09:08,546
We are coming to help you down!
235
00:09:08,615 --> 00:09:10,575
(screaming)
236
00:09:10,651 --> 00:09:13,021
Oh, we got a fucking dangler!
237
00:09:13,086 --> 00:09:14,246
I have a dangler.
238
00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:16,190
(man shouting)
239
00:09:16,256 --> 00:09:19,586
Oh, shit!
240
00:09:19,660 --> 00:09:20,860
♪♪ ♪♪
241
00:09:20,927 --> 00:09:22,757
(ethereal chiming)
242
00:09:24,330 --> 00:09:26,200
♪♪ ♪♪
243
00:09:26,266 --> 00:09:30,136
Hey, what the hell
are you doing up there?
244
00:09:30,203 --> 00:09:31,713
Don't be a hero!
245
00:09:31,772 --> 00:09:35,412
♪♪ ♪♪
246
00:09:35,475 --> 00:09:37,635
(retching)
247
00:09:38,645 --> 00:09:40,475
(wind howling)
248
00:09:40,547 --> 00:09:42,877
(shouting in slow motion)
249
00:09:42,949 --> 00:09:46,189
(percussive music)
250
00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:49,062
MAN: Whoa, get that ladder
up there!
251
00:09:49,122 --> 00:09:51,192
Oh!
Oh!
252
00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:54,187
(dramatic music)
253
00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:57,100
♪♪ ♪♪
254
00:09:57,163 --> 00:09:59,233
(shouting)
255
00:09:59,299 --> 00:10:01,099
♪♪ ♪♪
256
00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:03,867
(shouting)
(glass shattering)
257
00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:07,305
(banging)
258
00:10:07,373 --> 00:10:08,943
(grunts)
259
00:10:09,009 --> 00:10:12,049
MAN: Hurry!
Hurry, everybody, let's go!
260
00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:13,482
Is this your apartment, miss?
261
00:10:13,547 --> 00:10:16,377
Yeah, I was locked out.
262
00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:17,979
Is Walt okay?
263
00:10:18,051 --> 00:10:19,591
I asked him to climb in
through my window
264
00:10:19,653 --> 00:10:21,353
and let me in.
265
00:10:21,421 --> 00:10:22,761
Did he fall?
266
00:10:22,823 --> 00:10:26,193
(stirring music)
267
00:10:26,259 --> 00:10:28,599
Walt!
268
00:10:28,662 --> 00:10:34,072
♪♪ ♪♪
269
00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:35,374
(sniffing)
270
00:10:35,435 --> 00:10:38,195
Oh, uh...
271
00:10:38,271 --> 00:10:40,611
♪♪ ♪♪
272
00:10:40,674 --> 00:10:41,984
(groaning)
273
00:10:42,042 --> 00:10:43,912
Oh.
(clears throat)
274
00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:45,777
Thanks again, Walt.
275
00:10:45,846 --> 00:10:47,506
I'll definitely remember these
next time.
276
00:10:47,581 --> 00:10:49,421
(laughs, groans)
277
00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:51,522
Hey, hey.
278
00:10:51,585 --> 00:10:53,645
You're a hero, son.
279
00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:57,490
You smell like shit,
but you're a goddamn hero.
280
00:10:57,558 --> 00:11:01,188
(triumphant music)
281
00:11:07,534 --> 00:11:09,444
(mellow electronic music)
282
00:11:11,738 --> 00:11:14,208
MONICA: I'm the president
of the school cosplay club.
283
00:11:14,274 --> 00:11:16,684
We specialize
in gender/race‐fluid cosplay
284
00:11:16,743 --> 00:11:18,283
from the Pre‐Crisis
DC Universe.
285
00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:21,114
I'm writing that down
to Google that later.
286
00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:22,181
Don't worry, David.
I‐I've got it.
287
00:11:22,248 --> 00:11:23,178
Go on.
288
00:11:23,249 --> 00:11:24,179
We post photos
289
00:11:24,250 --> 00:11:25,520
to an invite‐only
Instagram account,
290
00:11:25,586 --> 00:11:27,686
but two weeks ago,
someone hacked our password
291
00:11:27,754 --> 00:11:30,394
and all these trolls started
spamming our feed with abuse.
292
00:11:30,456 --> 00:11:32,086
Uh‐huh, and what did you do
to provoke them?
293
00:11:32,158 --> 00:11:33,258
‐Whoa, David.
‐What?
294
00:11:33,326 --> 00:11:34,226
Victim‐blame much?
295
00:11:34,294 --> 00:11:35,834
Whoa, John.
Virtue‐signal much?
296
00:11:35,896 --> 00:11:38,096
Enough with the PBS words.
297
00:11:38,164 --> 00:11:40,504
The answer is,
I did provoke them.
298
00:11:40,567 --> 00:11:42,967
I cosplayed as Aquaman.
299
00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:45,566
I don't get it.
Everyone loves Aquaman.
300
00:11:45,639 --> 00:11:48,239
Apparently this troll army
feels I de‐centered
301
00:11:48,308 --> 00:11:50,508
the white male
Atlantis experience,
302
00:11:50,577 --> 00:11:51,847
which I totally did
303
00:11:51,912 --> 00:11:53,052
and they wish
they could handle it.
304
00:11:53,113 --> 00:11:54,113
You know, honestly, Monica,
305
00:11:54,180 --> 00:11:55,620
it sounds like
you're on top of this.
306
00:11:55,682 --> 00:11:57,352
Oh, I am.
We talked to Instagram.
307
00:11:57,417 --> 00:11:59,687
They're shutting it all down,
but there's a ring leader.
308
00:11:59,753 --> 00:12:00,993
Oh, who's the ring leader?
309
00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:04,024
I'm going to assume
it's a cis white male.
310
00:12:04,090 --> 00:12:06,330
His handle
is AltRightPepeMilkman.
311
00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:07,932
Someone's leaning
into his brand.
312
00:12:07,994 --> 00:12:09,734
I just wanna know who he is.
313
00:12:09,796 --> 00:12:11,196
I don't cosplay with a mask
314
00:12:11,264 --> 00:12:12,804
and I don't respect
anyone who does.
315
00:12:12,866 --> 00:12:14,126
Understood.
316
00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:16,300
With great cosplay comes
great responsibility.
317
00:12:16,369 --> 00:12:17,399
We'll find this guy.
318
00:12:17,470 --> 00:12:19,770
Wait, so who are you
cosplayed as right now?
319
00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:20,770
‐David!
‐What?
320
00:12:20,841 --> 00:12:21,981
She's Mon‐El of Daxam.
321
00:12:22,042 --> 00:12:23,382
I don't know
who the fuck that is.
322
00:12:23,443 --> 00:12:25,153
Superboy discovered him.
He thought he was his cousin.
323
00:12:25,211 --> 00:12:26,751
I don't read comic books about
Superboy and his little cousin.
324
00:12:26,813 --> 00:12:28,483
He discovered him on a‐‐
on a Monday,
325
00:12:28,549 --> 00:12:30,779
so he called him "Mon‐El,"
but it turned out‐‐
326
00:12:30,851 --> 00:12:33,051
‐Are you serious?
‐This is true.
327
00:12:33,119 --> 00:12:34,619
Same powers.
Same powers.
328
00:12:34,688 --> 00:12:35,888
From the Legion
of Super‐Heroes.
329
00:12:35,956 --> 00:12:37,016
I don't know what that is, man.
330
00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:38,490
Monica, we'll talk
to you later.
331
00:12:38,559 --> 00:12:39,429
It was really nice to meet you.
332
00:12:39,492 --> 00:12:40,462
We have to go now.
333
00:12:40,527 --> 00:12:41,457
Long live the legion.
334
00:12:41,528 --> 00:12:42,958
Long live the legion.
335
00:12:43,029 --> 00:12:45,829
Heavenly Father,
please forgive these nerds.
336
00:12:45,899 --> 00:12:47,469
Kryptonians are vulnerable
to Kryptonite.
337
00:12:47,534 --> 00:12:48,334
I don't give a shit!
338
00:12:48,401 --> 00:12:49,671
The Daxamites are vulnerable
to lead.
339
00:12:49,736 --> 00:12:50,936
DAVID: I don't care.
Let's go.
340
00:12:51,004 --> 00:12:53,144
(dramatic music)
341
00:12:53,206 --> 00:12:55,506
Oh, yes.
Cyber sleuthing.
342
00:12:55,576 --> 00:12:57,176
Just like the '90s promised.
343
00:12:57,243 --> 00:13:00,183
I'm hunting a bully using only
my wits and fast typing skills,
344
00:13:00,246 --> 00:13:02,316
just like a young
David Strathairn in Sneakers.
345
00:13:02,382 --> 00:13:04,052
Now, I've cross‐referenced
the frequent users
346
00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:05,987
of every Aquaman fan site
I could find.
347
00:13:06,052 --> 00:13:07,692
There are 24,000 candidates.
348
00:13:07,754 --> 00:13:09,124
Seems overwhelming, right?
349
00:13:09,189 --> 00:13:11,019
But look what happens
when I filter for those
350
00:13:11,091 --> 00:13:12,731
who use the words "men's"
and "rights."
351
00:13:12,793 --> 00:13:14,133
‐Damn it!
‐What?
352
00:13:14,194 --> 00:13:16,064
‐This is too freaking hard.
‐What are you doing?
353
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:17,499
I'm bullying people
on twitter.com,
354
00:13:17,564 --> 00:13:19,434
but it's not the same
because when you describe
355
00:13:19,499 --> 00:13:21,639
giving someone a wedgie,
they think you're being sexy.
356
00:13:21,702 --> 00:13:23,372
Proud White 420 69?
357
00:13:23,436 --> 00:13:25,406
Since when has that
been your Twitter handle?
358
00:13:25,471 --> 00:13:27,641
Since I got a code name
for this sting operation.
359
00:13:27,708 --> 00:13:29,078
How does this help
our case, David?
360
00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:31,142
Okay, I wanted to see if being
a total asshole would help me
361
00:13:31,211 --> 00:13:32,851
make friends with racists
on the Internet.
362
00:13:32,913 --> 00:13:35,383
What, so you think if you're
obnoxious and racist enough,
363
00:13:35,448 --> 00:13:37,318
AltRightPepeMilkman's
just gonna magically
364
00:13:37,383 --> 00:13:38,183
reach out to you?
365
00:13:38,251 --> 00:13:39,351
(phone chimes)
Boom.
366
00:13:39,419 --> 00:13:40,889
‐He literally just DM'ed me.
‐Wow.
367
00:13:40,954 --> 00:13:42,894
"Your tweets are right.
Dicktown sucks.
368
00:13:42,956 --> 00:13:44,986
Vaping rules.
Men have been pussified."
369
00:13:45,058 --> 00:13:46,788
See, he fell into
my honey hate trap.
370
00:13:46,860 --> 00:13:48,260
Is that what he said?
Interesting.
371
00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:49,658
All right,
I'm gonna write him back.
372
00:13:49,730 --> 00:13:52,570
"Hey, do you want to meet up
and talk about Vikings
373
00:13:52,633 --> 00:13:54,403
and tiki torches?"
Send.
374
00:13:54,467 --> 00:13:55,597
David, you didn't need
to send that.
375
00:13:55,669 --> 00:13:56,969
Why not?
376
00:13:57,037 --> 00:13:59,537
We already have everything
we need to track him down.
377
00:13:59,606 --> 00:14:01,876
(tense music)
378
00:14:01,942 --> 00:14:03,012
♪♪ ♪♪
379
00:14:03,076 --> 00:14:04,906
Why are we staking out
a vape shop?
380
00:14:04,978 --> 00:14:05,948
Because based on his tweets,
381
00:14:06,012 --> 00:14:08,252
our suspect has EKOVT.
382
00:14:08,314 --> 00:14:09,384
What's that?
383
00:14:09,449 --> 00:14:10,849
Extensive knowledge
of vaping technology.
384
00:14:10,917 --> 00:14:12,347
‐Exactly.
‐So why this vape shop?
385
00:14:12,418 --> 00:14:13,418
David?
386
00:14:13,486 --> 00:14:14,556
Because he kept talking
about Dicktown
387
00:14:14,621 --> 00:14:15,691
in his messages to me
388
00:14:15,756 --> 00:14:17,256
and anyone else would
call it Richardsville,
389
00:14:17,323 --> 00:14:19,863
so, cogito, ergo sum,
he's local.
390
00:14:19,926 --> 00:14:21,526
I searched Yelp
for every vape shop
391
00:14:21,595 --> 00:14:22,955
within a 5‐mile radius.
392
00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:25,099
It turns out
there are 73 of them,
393
00:14:25,165 --> 00:14:26,895
which is a number
that surprised me, frankly,
394
00:14:26,967 --> 00:14:28,297
but, of them all,
395
00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:29,538
only one has a single
five‐star review.
396
00:14:29,603 --> 00:14:31,203
Yeah, look at this.
Look at this.
397
00:14:31,271 --> 00:14:33,111
"High and Mighty Vape Shop
is righteous,
398
00:14:33,173 --> 00:14:35,713
especially if you want
a little 88 with your 420."
399
00:14:35,776 --> 00:14:36,936
‐Right.
‐Mm‐hmm.
400
00:14:37,010 --> 00:14:39,450
So, 420, it's street slang
for marijuana.
401
00:14:39,513 --> 00:14:40,853
Yes, I know.
402
00:14:40,914 --> 00:14:42,854
And H is the eighth letter
of the alphabet.
403
00:14:42,916 --> 00:14:45,146
88 equals HH
equals "Heil Hitler."
404
00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:47,648
Yes, and Hitler
was a really famous Nazi.
405
00:14:47,721 --> 00:14:48,861
I know that as well.
406
00:14:48,922 --> 00:14:50,822
(in German accent)
Und now we wait.
407
00:14:50,891 --> 00:14:53,161
(giggling)
408
00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:55,256
(in German accent)
And maybe later ve vape.
409
00:14:55,328 --> 00:14:57,298
Oh‐‐oh,
I see what you did there.
410
00:14:57,363 --> 00:15:00,933
Wow, Dad jokes.
That's...oh, God.
411
00:15:01,001 --> 00:15:03,101
(tense music)
412
00:15:03,169 --> 00:15:05,739
♪♪ Vape shop stakeout,
we're living the dream ♪♪
413
00:15:05,806 --> 00:15:07,636
David‐‐David, stop singing.
414
00:15:07,708 --> 00:15:08,608
‐Oh, my God, look.
‐What?
415
00:15:08,675 --> 00:15:10,705
Dude, look at that guy
and his stupid vest.
416
00:15:10,777 --> 00:15:11,877
JOHN: Yes.
417
00:15:11,945 --> 00:15:13,075
DAVID: He's like,
"Oh, I'm late
418
00:15:13,146 --> 00:15:14,006
"for my old‐timey
hot air balloon ride.
419
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:15,380
It's 1844."
420
00:15:15,448 --> 00:15:17,648
He does seem
surprisingly natty.
421
00:15:17,718 --> 00:15:18,918
Oh, my God.
Is that Charlie?
422
00:15:18,985 --> 00:15:20,085
Do you know him?
423
00:15:20,153 --> 00:15:21,323
He graduated
a couple years ago.
424
00:15:21,387 --> 00:15:24,987
Huge stoner.
He used to be a sloth.
425
00:15:25,058 --> 00:15:26,888
‐Mm.
‐Uh‐huh.
426
00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:28,330
♪♪ ♪♪
427
00:15:28,394 --> 00:15:30,504
‐He works there?
‐Double hmm.
428
00:15:30,564 --> 00:15:32,374
Well, I hope y'all like
fancy mustard,
429
00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:36,172
because it is on
like Grey Poupon.
430
00:15:37,203 --> 00:15:39,713
(funky percussive music)
431
00:15:39,773 --> 00:15:44,283
SINGER: ♪♪ All doing
the best we can ♪♪
432
00:15:44,344 --> 00:15:46,054
Sometimes when I pet my cats
for too long
433
00:15:46,112 --> 00:15:47,282
and they're purring a lot,
434
00:15:47,347 --> 00:15:50,677
I start to worry
that I'm turning them on,
435
00:15:50,751 --> 00:15:52,351
and I start going,
like, well, should I‐‐
436
00:15:52,418 --> 00:15:54,248
should I stop
petting them altogether?
437
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:55,790
Because the sounds
they're making
438
00:15:55,856 --> 00:15:58,626
are very pleasurable.
439
00:15:58,692 --> 00:15:59,792
To them.
To them.
440
00:15:59,860 --> 00:16:02,700
I mean, I‐‐
I'm not‐‐yeah.
441
00:16:04,064 --> 00:16:07,604
BOTH: (whispering)
"Tree Secrets."
442
00:16:12,338 --> 00:16:15,708
(mellow electronic music)
443
00:16:15,776 --> 00:16:18,706
(man singing Japanese)
444
00:16:18,779 --> 00:16:25,689
♪♪ ♪♪
445
00:16:25,752 --> 00:16:28,722
(up‐tempo music)
446
00:16:28,789 --> 00:16:29,719
♪♪ ♪♪
447
00:16:29,790 --> 00:16:32,760
(serene music)
448
00:16:32,826 --> 00:16:34,596
SHRIMP: E‐excuse me, sir?
449
00:16:34,661 --> 00:16:36,561
Sir, can you spare a moment
to talk about the fact
450
00:16:36,630 --> 00:16:38,900
that we live inside the belly
of a giant whale?
451
00:16:38,965 --> 00:16:40,025
Ma'am, ma'am?
452
00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:42,370
D‐do you have time to talk...
453
00:16:42,435 --> 00:16:44,095
(sighs)
454
00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:46,910
Sir, d‐do you have
a moment to talk
455
00:16:46,973 --> 00:16:48,213
about digestion death rates?
456
00:16:48,274 --> 00:16:49,844
Uh, yes, sure I do.
Thank you for asking.
457
00:16:49,910 --> 00:16:51,980
I'm glad to see there's
another one of us out here.
458
00:16:52,045 --> 00:16:53,505
‐Enough is enough.
‐Good.
459
00:16:53,580 --> 00:16:55,380
Right, so I don't know
if you're aware...
460
00:16:55,448 --> 00:16:56,218
Uh‐huh.
461
00:16:56,282 --> 00:16:57,382
But every ten minutes,
462
00:16:57,450 --> 00:16:58,590
death rates
due to whale digestion
463
00:16:58,652 --> 00:16:59,622
are rising
by about as much as‐‐
464
00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:01,916
I'm sorry, what‐‐
w‐w‐w‐w‐what‐‐
465
00:17:01,988 --> 00:17:04,158
W‐w‐whale?
Whale digestion?
466
00:17:04,224 --> 00:17:05,964
The whale isn't digesting us,
ma'am.
467
00:17:06,026 --> 00:17:07,056
I hate to be the one
to tell you this.
468
00:17:07,127 --> 00:17:09,257
Yeah?
What else would it be?
469
00:17:09,329 --> 00:17:10,659
‐Uh, the red krill.
‐Excuse me?
470
00:17:10,731 --> 00:17:12,401
‐It's the red krill.
‐Excuse me?
471
00:17:12,465 --> 00:17:13,995
They've been doing it
for years.
472
00:17:14,067 --> 00:17:16,837
Digesting people in their sleep
in order to take over society.
473
00:17:16,903 --> 00:17:18,173
Okay, sir, please.
This is really‐‐
474
00:17:18,238 --> 00:17:20,408
‐It's these darn redheads.
‐Okay, okay, please.
475
00:17:20,473 --> 00:17:21,683
Do not use that word around me.
476
00:17:21,742 --> 00:17:23,482
It's absolutely not okay
to use that word.
477
00:17:23,544 --> 00:17:25,284
I mean, it's red
sac‐spawning crustacean.
478
00:17:25,345 --> 00:17:26,505
MALE SHRIMP: Okay,
this is abuse.
479
00:17:26,580 --> 00:17:27,780
This is abuse?
480
00:17:27,848 --> 00:17:29,218
The way you're screaming at me
like this is abuse.
481
00:17:29,282 --> 00:17:30,882
I'm not screaming.
I'm expressing myself.
482
00:17:30,951 --> 00:17:32,021
I'm just articulating
my emotions.
483
00:17:32,085 --> 00:17:33,145
I'm not here to fight
with you, ma'am.
484
00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:34,659
You seem like
a very nice person.
485
00:17:34,721 --> 00:17:36,561
I‐I respect what you're doing
out here.
486
00:17:36,623 --> 00:17:39,193
All this political correctness,
uh, I think it's very cute.
487
00:17:39,259 --> 00:17:40,429
FEMALE SHRIMP: Hmm, oh, cute.
Okay, good.
488
00:17:40,493 --> 00:17:41,633
MALE SHRIMP: Maybe, I mean,
a whale, really?
489
00:17:41,695 --> 00:17:44,155
This is vintage
red krill propaganda.
490
00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:45,430
What are you talking‐‐
491
00:17:45,498 --> 00:17:47,198
Open your eyes
is what I'm talking about!
492
00:17:47,267 --> 00:17:48,267
I'm talking about
opening your eyes!
493
00:17:48,334 --> 00:17:49,844
Okay, okay, you know what?
494
00:17:49,903 --> 00:17:51,613
You are entitled
to your opinion,
495
00:17:51,672 --> 00:17:54,242
but I'm not gonna listen to you
because frankly you're a bigot
496
00:17:54,307 --> 00:17:56,307
and you won't hear me,
what I have to say anyway.
497
00:17:56,376 --> 00:17:57,736
‐Wow. Wow, okay.
‐So what's the point?
498
00:17:57,811 --> 00:18:01,151
Well, I'm not big into labels,
but it's a blue whale,
499
00:18:01,214 --> 00:18:02,624
so it should be for blue krill.
500
00:18:02,683 --> 00:18:04,753
I'm very upset and I really
think you should leave.
501
00:18:04,818 --> 00:18:06,688
You're right.
We should keep it civilized.
502
00:18:06,753 --> 00:18:08,053
So how about this?
503
00:18:08,121 --> 00:18:10,761
Red krill are digesting you
in your sleep!
504
00:18:10,824 --> 00:18:12,994
‐Oh, my God.
‐This woman is a liar!
505
00:18:13,059 --> 00:18:16,199
And a traitor!
Wake up, people!
506
00:18:16,262 --> 00:18:17,102
MALE SHRIMP: The blue dart
is rising!
507
00:18:17,163 --> 00:18:18,463
Hey, uh, listen.
508
00:18:18,532 --> 00:18:20,902
Uh, I just wanted to say
that I think it was great.
509
00:18:20,967 --> 00:18:23,797
Exactly the right way
to deal with a bigot like that.
510
00:18:23,870 --> 00:18:24,670
‐Thank you.
‐Yeah.
511
00:18:24,738 --> 00:18:26,068
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
512
00:18:26,139 --> 00:18:27,269
Oh, God.
That's so good to hear.
513
00:18:27,340 --> 00:18:28,440
Yeah.
(clears throat)
514
00:18:28,509 --> 00:18:29,539
God, sorry.
(laughs)
515
00:18:29,610 --> 00:18:31,950
Anyway, um, listen, actually,
516
00:18:32,012 --> 00:18:33,282
there's a manifestation
tomorrow
517
00:18:33,346 --> 00:18:35,716
against whale digestion,
and I was just wondering‐‐
518
00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:36,752
I have a thing tomorrow.
519
00:18:36,817 --> 00:18:38,347
‐I‐I'm gonna, yeah.
‐Okay, thank you.
520
00:18:38,418 --> 00:18:40,718
‐Bye.
‐(sighs)
521
00:18:42,355 --> 00:18:44,585
(singer vocalizing)
522
00:18:44,658 --> 00:18:46,328
SINGER: ♪♪ Read my mind ♪♪
523
00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:48,460
♪♪ Oh ♪♪
524
00:18:52,666 --> 00:18:54,466
(doorbell chimes)
525
00:18:54,535 --> 00:18:56,665
Charlie?
You look so dapper.
526
00:18:56,737 --> 00:18:57,967
(chuckles)
Monica!
527
00:18:58,038 --> 00:19:00,038
‐I didn't know you vaped.
‐I don't.
528
00:19:00,106 --> 00:19:01,636
‐What you reading?
‐Oh, uh, nothing.
529
00:19:01,708 --> 00:19:04,038
Charlie, are you
AltRightPepeMilkman?
530
00:19:04,110 --> 00:19:05,110
Am I‐I'm sorry, who?
531
00:19:05,178 --> 00:19:06,048
(chuckles)
You know.
532
00:19:06,112 --> 00:19:07,452
The fearless leader
533
00:19:07,514 --> 00:19:09,924
of the anti‐black
Aquawoman resistance.
534
00:19:09,983 --> 00:19:12,123
Um, I'm afraid I don't know
what you mean.
535
00:19:12,185 --> 00:19:13,245
Come on, Charlie.
536
00:19:13,319 --> 00:19:15,219
We were in Godspell together.
537
00:19:15,288 --> 00:19:17,018
All right, Monica!
Fine!
538
00:19:17,090 --> 00:19:18,190
I'm done hiding!
539
00:19:18,258 --> 00:19:19,788
I have a right to exist!
540
00:19:19,860 --> 00:19:21,090
I won't be erased,
541
00:19:21,161 --> 00:19:22,631
the way you erased the proud
542
00:19:22,696 --> 00:19:25,426
white male heritage
of Atlantis!
543
00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:28,128
Oh, Charlie.
What happened to you?
544
00:19:28,201 --> 00:19:29,871
Oh, I graduated.
545
00:19:29,936 --> 00:19:32,966
I saw what life is really like.
(clears throat)
546
00:19:33,039 --> 00:19:34,309
There was a time
in this country
547
00:19:34,374 --> 00:19:36,814
when a white man who didn't
want to go to college
548
00:19:36,877 --> 00:19:39,977
would be handed a great job
working in a coal mine
549
00:19:40,046 --> 00:19:41,516
or a fax machine factory.
550
00:19:41,582 --> 00:19:43,282
That's all gone.
(grunts)
551
00:19:43,349 --> 00:19:44,619
And look at me.
552
00:19:44,685 --> 00:19:47,985
Probably genius‐level IQ
working as the night manager
553
00:19:48,054 --> 00:19:50,224
at Dicktown's
smallest vape shop
554
00:19:50,290 --> 00:19:54,190
in a Jew feminist
SJW world where...
555
00:19:54,260 --> 00:19:55,630
(grunts)
556
00:19:55,696 --> 00:19:57,556
A young white boy
can go on social media
557
00:19:57,631 --> 00:19:59,671
and see a black woman Aquaman
558
00:19:59,733 --> 00:20:01,943
and learn that he might not
grow up to be the hero
559
00:20:02,002 --> 00:20:04,072
of every single story!
560
00:20:04,137 --> 00:20:06,307
That's not a world
I can believe in!
561
00:20:06,372 --> 00:20:08,912
And I will fight
with everything I've got‐‐
562
00:20:08,975 --> 00:20:10,075
(farts)
Oh, God!
563
00:20:10,143 --> 00:20:11,113
ALL: Whoa!
564
00:20:11,177 --> 00:20:12,577
What is that smell, dude?
565
00:20:12,646 --> 00:20:13,906
‐Is that what I think it is?
‐Dude.
566
00:20:13,980 --> 00:20:14,950
Fine, I'll tell you.
567
00:20:15,015 --> 00:20:16,175
My mother tried to make me take
568
00:20:16,249 --> 00:20:17,579
my diarrhea medicine
this morning.
569
00:20:17,651 --> 00:20:19,921
‐And?
‐I reject feminism.
570
00:20:19,986 --> 00:20:21,016
I said no.
571
00:20:21,087 --> 00:20:22,417
And?
572
00:20:22,488 --> 00:20:25,528
And now I have diarrhea.
Big deal.
573
00:20:25,592 --> 00:20:27,962
I'm catching a different kind
of vapor all of a sudden.
574
00:20:28,028 --> 00:20:29,428
‐Oh, snap!
‐Thank you.
575
00:20:29,495 --> 00:20:30,855
You know I'm right, Monica.
576
00:20:30,931 --> 00:20:32,271
The races are different.
577
00:20:32,332 --> 00:20:34,332
The genders are different.
578
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:37,640
You're dressed as Supergirl,
not Superman.
579
00:20:37,704 --> 00:20:40,374
Actually, I'm dressed
as Superman,
580
00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:43,180
who is himself cross‐dressing
as Supergirl.
581
00:20:43,243 --> 00:20:45,153
‐(groans)
‐My cosplay is the future.
582
00:20:45,211 --> 00:20:47,011
Your cosplay is the past.
583
00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:48,150
BOTH: Nice.
584
00:20:48,214 --> 00:20:49,624
Monica, he admitted harassment.
585
00:20:49,683 --> 00:20:51,353
‐Want me to call 911?
‐No.
586
00:20:51,417 --> 00:20:53,587
It's too pathetic.
Let's go.
587
00:20:53,654 --> 00:20:54,664
Pathetic?
588
00:20:54,721 --> 00:20:57,221
You're the one who's too PC
to have diarrhea!
589
00:20:57,290 --> 00:20:58,460
All right, good luck
with your vikings
590
00:20:58,525 --> 00:21:00,425
and your tiki torches,
ya dipshit.
591
00:21:00,493 --> 00:21:01,563
Hey, wait a second.
592
00:21:01,628 --> 00:21:04,258
You're Proud White 420 69,
aren't you?
593
00:21:04,330 --> 00:21:06,500
You're funny!
You want to hang out?
594
00:21:06,567 --> 00:21:08,227
I'm not trying to hang out
with the racist
595
00:21:08,301 --> 00:21:10,241
who can't make a proper BM.
596
00:21:10,303 --> 00:21:12,613
Face it.
You're just like me.
597
00:21:12,673 --> 00:21:14,883
You know the strong
should dominate the weak.
598
00:21:16,743 --> 00:21:19,253
I don't believe that at all,
you weakling.
599
00:21:19,312 --> 00:21:20,312
Hey!
600
00:21:20,380 --> 00:21:21,650
(doorbell chimes)
601
00:21:21,715 --> 00:21:23,545
Well, Charlie released
the security footage
602
00:21:23,617 --> 00:21:24,617
of you shoving him.
603
00:21:24,685 --> 00:21:26,215
Oh, my God.
Am I in trouble now?
604
00:21:26,286 --> 00:21:28,586
There's already a 10,000‐word
think‐piece on The Atlantic
605
00:21:28,655 --> 00:21:30,585
about whether it's okay
to bully Nazis.
606
00:21:30,657 --> 00:21:33,427
You know, today's the day
I really leaned into my brand.
607
00:21:33,493 --> 00:21:35,063
Which is what?
608
00:21:35,128 --> 00:21:36,498
Muscle.
It's all I'm good at.
609
00:21:36,563 --> 00:21:37,563
That's not all, David.
610
00:21:37,631 --> 00:21:39,901
I mean, you're‐‐
you're likable.
611
00:21:39,966 --> 00:21:41,226
Uh‐huh.
612
00:21:41,301 --> 00:21:42,171
I'm gonna crash here
tonight, dude.
613
00:21:42,235 --> 00:21:43,595
What?
No.
614
00:21:43,670 --> 00:21:44,770
‐I'm crashing here.
‐Go to your parents' house.
615
00:21:44,838 --> 00:21:45,708
I can't go home.
616
00:21:45,772 --> 00:21:46,912
My parents are having
a fondue party.
617
00:21:46,973 --> 00:21:47,943
It gets too sexy.
618
00:21:48,008 --> 00:21:49,238
Oh, you need to get
your own place.
619
00:21:49,309 --> 00:21:51,339
I know,
so pay me some more money.
620
00:21:51,411 --> 00:21:52,751
I'll get the AeroBed.
621
00:21:56,550 --> 00:21:58,420
SINGER: ♪♪ Read my mind ♪♪
622
00:22:00,120 --> 00:22:01,620
♪♪ Read my mind ♪♪
623
00:22:01,688 --> 00:22:03,358
♪♪ Ah, hey ♪♪
624
00:22:03,423 --> 00:22:06,663
♪♪ Read my mind ♪♪
625
00:22:07,994 --> 00:22:09,134
♪♪ Hey ♪♪
626
00:22:09,195 --> 00:22:10,495
(funky electronic music)
627
00:22:10,564 --> 00:22:12,434
♪♪ Read my mind ♪♪
628
00:22:14,134 --> 00:22:15,504
♪♪ ♪♪
629
00:22:17,437 --> 00:22:20,107
♪♪ Read my mind ♪♪
630
00:22:21,474 --> 00:22:23,684
(singer vocalizing)
631
00:22:27,047 --> 00:22:33,647
♪♪ ♪♪
632
00:22:36,189 --> 00:22:39,389
‐(clear music)
‐CHORUS: ♪♪ Yes ♪♪