1
00:00:05,972 --> 00:00:09,042
ANNOUNCER: (speaking Japanese)
2
00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:14,745
(speaking Japanese)
3
00:00:16,349 --> 00:00:19,489
(upbeat music)
4
00:00:19,553 --> 00:00:25,533
♪♪ ♪♪
5
00:00:27,260 --> 00:00:28,530
(cool jazz music)
6
00:00:28,595 --> 00:00:30,795
MARK: John Hunchman
and David Purefoy.
7
00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:32,034
How you boys been?
8
00:00:32,098 --> 00:00:33,998
Man, oh, man,
look at you guys.
9
00:00:34,067 --> 00:00:35,367
Hunchman, you still got
10
00:00:35,435 --> 00:00:37,195
that backpack
with pink stripes?
11
00:00:37,270 --> 00:00:38,340
You know, the one from
the eighth grade?
12
00:00:38,404 --> 00:00:39,374
‐Uh‐huh.
‐Remember that one?
13
00:00:39,439 --> 00:00:41,539
As I've told you before,
no, I do not.
14
00:00:41,608 --> 00:00:42,778
(laughs)
15
00:00:42,843 --> 00:00:44,783
We used to kill him over
that backpack, huh, Dave?
16
00:00:44,845 --> 00:00:45,745
‐(chuckles)
‐Right?
17
00:00:45,812 --> 00:00:48,112
Damn, pink stripes,
you kidding me?
18
00:00:48,181 --> 00:00:49,581
‐On a backpack?
‐Yeah.
19
00:00:49,650 --> 00:00:51,350
Those pink stripes
were pretty bad.
20
00:00:51,417 --> 00:00:53,087
Hey, what's new with you,
Pure‐if?
21
00:00:53,153 --> 00:00:54,923
‐What's up?
‐You know, I'm chilling.
22
00:00:54,988 --> 00:00:57,318
I got a cool thing going
with a lady.
23
00:00:57,390 --> 00:01:00,830
Oh, prithee do tell, young lad.
24
00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:02,204
Ugh, prithee no thank you.
25
00:01:02,262 --> 00:01:05,672
Casual, hot, don't have
to spend money on her.
26
00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:08,232
‐Don't have to spend the night.
‐Real chivalrous, David.
27
00:01:08,301 --> 00:01:09,771
And she's a total freak too.
28
00:01:09,836 --> 00:01:13,506
She had me take one of those
big, blue ceramic dogs‐‐
29
00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:15,144
‐Hey, old man.
‐Uh‐‐
30
00:01:15,208 --> 00:01:17,078
No one wants to hear
about your sex life
31
00:01:17,143 --> 00:01:18,313
with your droopy balls.
32
00:01:18,378 --> 00:01:19,708
Wait, who are you again?
33
00:01:19,780 --> 00:01:22,580
I'm Lance, and don't you
forget the name.
34
00:01:22,649 --> 00:01:23,979
It's Lance.
35
00:01:24,050 --> 00:01:26,420
Uh, Lance is my client.
He's the reason y'all are here.
36
00:01:26,486 --> 00:01:27,816
I pay y'all by the hour, right?
37
00:01:27,888 --> 00:01:30,118
So stop wasting my time
with this bullshit
38
00:01:30,190 --> 00:01:32,260
about pink backpacks
and whatever skank
39
00:01:32,325 --> 00:01:33,625
this old‐ass loser's
hooking up with.
40
00:01:33,694 --> 00:01:35,464
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa,
she's not a skank.
41
00:01:35,529 --> 00:01:37,929
Uh, she's with you, right?
So she's a skank.
42
00:01:37,998 --> 00:01:41,028
Okay, okay, settle down, Lance.
Just relax.
43
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:45,311
Uh, look, Lance, why don't you
explain your situation
44
00:01:45,371 --> 00:01:46,971
to our colleagues.
45
00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:50,010
Pay attention.
46
00:01:50,076 --> 00:01:53,706
Me and my mom live alone.
Someone's harassing us.
47
00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:54,950
It happens at night.
48
00:01:55,015 --> 00:01:56,145
(wood crashes)
49
00:01:56,216 --> 00:01:57,746
Furniture crashing.
50
00:01:57,818 --> 00:01:58,788
(floor creaking)
51
00:01:58,852 --> 00:02:00,752
Creaky floor.
52
00:02:00,821 --> 00:02:03,261
Drippy faucet even though
I turned that shit off.
53
00:02:03,323 --> 00:02:04,493
(ghostly moan)
54
00:02:04,558 --> 00:02:06,558
Creepy moaning.
‐Uh‐huh.
55
00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:07,957
You know, it sounds
like it could be a‐‐
56
00:02:08,028 --> 00:02:09,698
A ghost?
Yeah, no duh.
57
00:02:09,763 --> 00:02:11,433
It's a ghost.
‐I was gonna say your mom.
58
00:02:11,497 --> 00:02:12,697
What'd you say about my mom?
59
00:02:12,766 --> 00:02:13,896
DAVID:
No, I don't mean it like that.
60
00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:15,197
You think my mom is a ghost?
61
00:02:15,268 --> 00:02:16,498
No, I'm just saying‐‐
62
00:02:16,570 --> 00:02:18,470
She works two jobs
just to provide for me.
63
00:02:18,539 --> 00:02:21,169
Keep talking 'bout my mom.
See what happens.
64
00:02:21,241 --> 00:02:23,541
Oh, okay, easy, son, easy.
65
00:02:23,610 --> 00:02:25,210
Damn, we got
a live one here, boys.
66
00:02:25,278 --> 00:02:26,508
(chuckles)
67
00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:28,380
I'll straight murk you,
you Angela Lansbury,
68
00:02:28,448 --> 00:02:29,478
old‐ass looking bitch.
69
00:02:29,550 --> 00:02:31,590
Okay, okay,
let's focus please.
70
00:02:31,652 --> 00:02:33,452
Uh, Taggy, what do you
want us to do?
71
00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:35,320
Well, serve papers like always.
72
00:02:35,388 --> 00:02:38,188
Well, okay, but to whom
are we serving these papers?
73
00:02:38,258 --> 00:02:40,758
To the ghost.
Damn, y'all are dense.
74
00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:42,027
What, seriously?
75
00:02:42,095 --> 00:02:45,665
My mom says it's a ghost,
and I always protect my mom,
76
00:02:45,732 --> 00:02:47,272
so I'm suing it.
77
00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:50,703
First ever ghost lawsuit‐‐
lawyer hall of fame, me.
78
00:02:50,771 --> 00:02:52,111
♪♪ ♪♪
79
00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:53,342
Okay.
80
00:02:53,406 --> 00:02:54,736
You know Kendra
at Skull and Sage?
81
00:02:54,808 --> 00:02:57,138
Yeah, the dumb new age shop
where dog food city used to be.
82
00:02:57,210 --> 00:02:59,380
Oh, don't say "new age"
around Kendra.
83
00:02:59,445 --> 00:03:01,275
She'll put a hex on your ass.
84
00:03:01,347 --> 00:03:03,577
Anyway, Kendra's got
one of them thingamajigs
85
00:03:03,650 --> 00:03:05,550
for texting with ghosts
and witches and whatnot.
86
00:03:05,619 --> 00:03:06,889
You're talking
about a Woojoo board?
87
00:03:06,953 --> 00:03:07,793
MARK: Yeah, that's it.
88
00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:08,964
(chuckles)
This is ridiculous.
89
00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:10,962
‐What'd you say?
‐Um, nothing.
90
00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:12,494
All right, here's the summons.
91
00:03:12,559 --> 00:03:14,089
Lance'll take you boys
to his house
92
00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:16,860
once it's dark out.
Kendra will meet you there.
93
00:03:16,930 --> 00:03:20,470
Use her Woojoo board to contact
the ghost, then serve him
94
00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,604
and tell that undead,
see‐through son of a gun
95
00:03:22,669 --> 00:03:25,139
I'll be seeing him in court.
What could go wrong?
96
00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:26,135
(thunder crashes)
97
00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:29,136
(dramatic music)
98
00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:32,149
♪♪ ♪♪
99
00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:35,152
(upbeat music)
100
00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:39,945
♪♪ ♪♪
101
00:03:40,020 --> 00:03:41,450
(bluesy rock music)
102
00:03:41,522 --> 00:03:42,822
ALL: Good hex!
103
00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:45,829
(spooky music)
104
00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:46,832
♪♪ ♪♪
105
00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:47,933
Do you think it's weird‐‐
106
00:03:47,994 --> 00:03:49,704
That even death won't stop
your incessant neediness?
107
00:03:49,763 --> 00:03:51,433
‐ No, I am‐‐
‐ A little bit, yeah.
108
00:03:51,497 --> 00:03:54,097
I was wondering
if you think it's weird
109
00:03:54,167 --> 00:03:58,067
that we used to,
like, have sex...
110
00:03:58,138 --> 00:03:59,638
‐(chuckles)
‐A lot.
111
00:03:59,706 --> 00:04:01,436
Okay...
(chuckles)
112
00:04:01,508 --> 00:04:03,938
Are you saying
you wanna have sex?
113
00:04:04,010 --> 00:04:05,710
‐Ew, Gregor!
‐What?
114
00:04:05,779 --> 00:04:07,579
That would make you
a necrophiliac.
115
00:04:07,648 --> 00:04:09,378
What the fuck, Anna?
You brought it up.
116
00:04:09,449 --> 00:04:10,319
Is that what
you're writing about?
117
00:04:10,383 --> 00:04:11,623
You're writing about me, right?
118
00:04:11,685 --> 00:04:15,855
I'm sketching communist icons
like a normal person.
119
00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:17,292
He has my boobs.
120
00:04:17,357 --> 00:04:18,987
‐Those are Marx's boobs.
‐Really?
121
00:04:19,059 --> 00:04:19,989
Those are the boobs of‐‐
122
00:04:20,060 --> 00:04:22,160
'Cause those areolas
look pretty familiar.
123
00:04:22,228 --> 00:04:23,898
The boobs of all the comrades‐‐
124
00:04:23,964 --> 00:04:25,974
Look, all I am saying
is that you
125
00:04:26,032 --> 00:04:28,842
‐were literally inside of me...
‐Oh, my God.
126
00:04:28,902 --> 00:04:31,912
On and off for, like, what?
Eight years?
127
00:04:31,972 --> 00:04:34,212
Like 8 years and 22 days,
and then you dumped me,
128
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:35,484
but who's keeping score?
129
00:04:35,542 --> 00:04:37,142
But now it seems like
the thought
130
00:04:37,210 --> 00:04:39,480
of that closeness is creepy.
131
00:04:39,546 --> 00:04:41,246
Well, yep, it is.
132
00:04:41,314 --> 00:04:43,354
‐(sighs)
‐What's wrong?
133
00:04:43,416 --> 00:04:44,716
What's wrong?
134
00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:46,745
What if I can't
have sex anymore?
135
00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:48,590
I don't know.
It's not my problem.
136
00:04:48,655 --> 00:04:50,855
I know, I know, I know,
no ghost vag talk,
137
00:04:50,924 --> 00:04:52,834
but no one else
can see or hear me,
138
00:04:52,893 --> 00:04:55,733
and yesterday,
I put on some T‐Swift hentai
139
00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:59,326
and felt around down there,
and I came dust.
140
00:05:01,502 --> 00:05:02,972
Ugh.
‐I know.
141
00:05:05,338 --> 00:05:06,908
(punchy rock music)
142
00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:08,743
(both moaning)
143
00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:10,909
Your lips
are like leaking ice packs.
144
00:05:10,977 --> 00:05:12,447
Mm, you taste like sad.
145
00:05:12,513 --> 00:05:13,713
♪♪ ♪♪
146
00:05:13,780 --> 00:05:16,320
(retches)
147
00:05:16,382 --> 00:05:17,682
Oh, my God.
148
00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:21,385
Remember how much
I used to love period sex?
149
00:05:21,454 --> 00:05:23,424
It was my favorite thing
about you.
150
00:05:23,489 --> 00:05:26,459
♪♪ ♪♪
151
00:05:26,527 --> 00:05:29,297
(infernal screaming)
152
00:05:29,362 --> 00:05:32,572
Am I going to need
some sort of protection?
153
00:05:34,100 --> 00:05:39,170
Okay, so from what I gather,
I don't enter you.
154
00:05:39,239 --> 00:05:41,209
You get entered by me.
155
00:05:41,274 --> 00:05:42,384
(ethereal music)
156
00:05:42,442 --> 00:05:43,512
‐ANNA: Oh.
‐GREGOR: Yes.
157
00:05:43,577 --> 00:05:45,347
‐ANNA: (screams)
‐(screams)
158
00:05:45,411 --> 00:05:48,411
(laughter)
159
00:05:48,481 --> 00:05:51,351
(upbeat electronic music)
160
00:05:51,417 --> 00:05:56,417
♪♪ ♪♪
161
00:05:56,489 --> 00:05:58,829
(rooster crows)
162
00:05:58,892 --> 00:06:01,292
♪♪ ♪♪
163
00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:03,161
‐ANNA: (screams)
‐GREGOR: (screams)
164
00:06:03,229 --> 00:06:06,169
(rhythmic squelching)
165
00:06:06,232 --> 00:06:08,402
(breathing heavily)
166
00:06:08,468 --> 00:06:10,298
(both screaming)
167
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:12,270
My biggest regret
is breaking up with you.
168
00:06:12,338 --> 00:06:14,908
If it means we can be together,
I'm willing to die!
169
00:06:14,975 --> 00:06:16,205
(both scream)
170
00:06:16,276 --> 00:06:19,506
♪♪ ♪♪
171
00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:21,583
Oof.
172
00:06:21,648 --> 00:06:23,218
‐(sighs)
‐ANNA: Oh, my God.
173
00:06:23,283 --> 00:06:26,453
Ugh, hey.
174
00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:29,160
Oh, hey
Uh...
175
00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:34,091
So I was thinking
about breakfast‐‐
176
00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:37,530
Oh, yeah, um,
I'm actually late for work.
177
00:06:37,598 --> 00:06:40,198
Oh that's‐‐that's fine.
178
00:06:40,266 --> 00:06:42,166
Yeah, I was gonna go open
up all the cabinets.
179
00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:43,135
‐Oh, that work.
‐Yeah.
180
00:06:43,203 --> 00:06:45,673
Okay, great, great, great.
181
00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:47,409
‐So...
‐Great.
182
00:06:47,473 --> 00:06:50,443
(upbeat music)
183
00:06:54,515 --> 00:06:56,145
(electronic music)
184
00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:01,989
(whooshing)
185
00:07:02,055 --> 00:07:04,985
(smooth music)
186
00:07:05,058 --> 00:07:11,158
♪♪ ♪♪
187
00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:46,328
(knocks)
188
00:07:46,399 --> 00:07:47,599
MAN: Hello, Christina?
189
00:07:47,668 --> 00:07:50,038
‐Yeah, you ready?
‐Yeah, coming.
190
00:07:58,311 --> 00:07:59,551
(chuckles)
Hi.
191
00:07:59,613 --> 00:08:01,683
‐Hi, you look great.
‐Thank you, you too.
192
00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:07,820
(pained grunt)
193
00:08:07,888 --> 00:08:09,388
You okay?
194
00:08:09,455 --> 00:08:11,485
(sighs)
Yeah.
195
00:08:11,558 --> 00:08:14,658
‐Yeah, I'm fine.
‐Okay‐‐careful.
196
00:08:14,728 --> 00:08:17,758
‐(grunts)
‐(chuckles)
197
00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:19,571
Oh.
198
00:08:19,633 --> 00:08:21,273
Oh, you got the convertible.
(chuckles)
199
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:23,504
Yeah.
200
00:08:25,471 --> 00:08:27,071
‐(sighs)
‐What's wrong?
201
00:08:29,275 --> 00:08:31,305
It's nothing.
202
00:08:31,377 --> 00:08:32,507
Okay.
203
00:08:32,579 --> 00:08:33,649
‐Just‐‐did you
change your hair?
204
00:08:33,714 --> 00:08:35,484
(laughs)
No.
205
00:08:35,549 --> 00:08:38,419
But if we get there by 4:00,
then I think we could totally
206
00:08:38,484 --> 00:08:39,854
be done in time
for, like, a movie
207
00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:42,390
or, like, dinner
if you're still hungry.
208
00:08:42,455 --> 00:08:44,085
I'm cheating on you.
209
00:08:45,992 --> 00:08:48,062
What?
210
00:08:48,128 --> 00:08:50,998
(sighs)
I'm seeing someone else.
211
00:09:02,075 --> 00:09:04,005
We're engaged.
212
00:09:05,145 --> 00:09:08,305
I didn't mean
for this to happen...
213
00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:10,051
and I should have
told you sooner.
214
00:09:10,116 --> 00:09:13,446
‐But it just happened, okay?
‐Jeez.
215
00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:15,390
‐And you and I haven't been‐‐
‐Don't‐‐
216
00:09:15,455 --> 00:09:17,015
‐Ugh!
‐Ow!
217
00:09:19,459 --> 00:09:20,759
Don't!
218
00:09:20,827 --> 00:09:23,357
Ow!
Ow!
219
00:09:23,429 --> 00:09:25,269
Stop,
you don't have to do this.
220
00:09:25,331 --> 00:09:27,271
Don't.
221
00:09:27,333 --> 00:09:28,503
Don't!
222
00:09:28,569 --> 00:09:30,799
(cries)
223
00:09:30,871 --> 00:09:32,311
‐Your hand‐‐
‐Stop it!
224
00:09:34,207 --> 00:09:36,137
(sobs)
225
00:09:42,516 --> 00:09:44,886
Ow.
(engine rumbles)
226
00:09:44,951 --> 00:09:46,651
(sobs)
227
00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:48,320
‐Christina, wait.
‐What?
228
00:09:50,190 --> 00:09:52,460
Could I get
my grandmother's ring back?
229
00:09:52,526 --> 00:09:54,656
No!
230
00:10:02,135 --> 00:10:04,065
Ugh.
231
00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:12,607
(sighs)
232
00:10:23,389 --> 00:10:24,829
Did you tell her?
233
00:10:26,392 --> 00:10:27,932
Yeah.
234
00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:42,907
I'm cheating on you.
235
00:10:44,210 --> 00:10:45,810
‐(sighs)
‐What?
236
00:10:47,413 --> 00:10:49,323
I'm fucking someone else.
237
00:10:52,285 --> 00:10:53,445
(chuckles)
238
00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:54,960
(sighs)
239
00:10:55,021 --> 00:10:56,121
(chuckles)
240
00:10:58,258 --> 00:11:00,428
But‐‐
241
00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:01,603
(chuckles)
242
00:11:01,662 --> 00:11:02,832
I‐‐
243
00:11:05,532 --> 00:11:08,072
‐I'm‐‐
‐Fucking shit.
244
00:11:08,134 --> 00:11:09,074
(sighs)
245
00:11:10,737 --> 00:11:12,507
(sighs)
246
00:11:12,573 --> 00:11:14,273
Fucking unbelievable.
247
00:11:25,519 --> 00:11:26,989
Did you tell him?
248
00:11:27,053 --> 00:11:28,693
Yeah.
249
00:11:29,690 --> 00:11:31,830
Ow.
250
00:11:38,665 --> 00:11:41,265
(upbeat music)
251
00:11:45,672 --> 00:11:48,442
(smooth electronic music)
252
00:11:50,243 --> 00:11:53,953
So, Lance,
what grade are you in?
253
00:11:54,014 --> 00:11:55,684
You know what sucks
about this ghost?
254
00:11:55,749 --> 00:11:57,449
I can't physically
beat the shit out of it
255
00:11:57,518 --> 00:12:00,018
because it's mist or some shit.
256
00:12:00,086 --> 00:12:03,616
Oh, I would love to just wail
on this motherfucker.
257
00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:04,990
Dude, I hear you.
It's just‐‐
258
00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:06,728
‐Man, shut up.
‐Okay.
259
00:12:06,793 --> 00:12:09,063
Wish I still had
my butterfly knife.
260
00:12:09,129 --> 00:12:09,959
I don't.
261
00:12:10,030 --> 00:12:11,400
‐Take a right here.
‐Okay.
262
00:12:11,464 --> 00:12:12,334
Last house on the left.
263
00:12:12,398 --> 00:12:13,928
(owl hoots)
264
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:15,770
♪♪ ♪♪
265
00:12:15,836 --> 00:12:17,866
Uh, are you sure
this is it, Lance?
266
00:12:17,938 --> 00:12:19,938
(chuckles)
Yes, I'm sure.
267
00:12:20,006 --> 00:12:21,806
It's my damn house
where I live,
268
00:12:21,875 --> 00:12:24,375
you stupid
fucking piece of shit.
269
00:12:25,612 --> 00:12:27,252
There's Kendra.
Let's go.
270
00:12:27,313 --> 00:12:28,453
John, I gotta
tell you something.
271
00:12:28,515 --> 00:12:30,745
No, David, not now.
Let's just get this over with.
272
00:12:30,817 --> 00:12:32,847
It's bad.
It's gonna be bad.
273
00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:34,889
David, relax.
It's gonna be fine.
274
00:12:34,955 --> 00:12:36,855
Hey, y'all.
I'm Kendra.
275
00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:38,633
You ready
for your Woojoo session?
276
00:12:38,692 --> 00:12:39,732
Ah, well, if we said no,
277
00:12:39,793 --> 00:12:41,333
"Woojoo" hold it
against us, Kendra?
278
00:12:41,394 --> 00:12:42,364
(chuckles)
279
00:12:42,428 --> 00:12:43,798
Please don't joke.
280
00:12:43,864 --> 00:12:45,804
Humor is a sign
of spiritual weakness.
281
00:12:45,866 --> 00:12:47,026
(groans quietly)
282
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:48,130
We wanna have
a successful session.
283
00:12:48,201 --> 00:12:49,901
Come on, attic's upstairs.
284
00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:51,000
(spooky music)
285
00:12:51,071 --> 00:12:53,671
Ooh, I wanna go home.
286
00:12:53,740 --> 00:12:55,840
♪♪ ♪♪
287
00:12:55,909 --> 00:12:57,309
(thunder cracks)
288
00:12:57,377 --> 00:13:00,677
So tonight we'll be
using this Woojoo board
289
00:13:00,747 --> 00:13:02,677
made from sustainably
forested cedar.
290
00:13:02,749 --> 00:13:03,849
Sure.
291
00:13:03,917 --> 00:13:05,147
It's paired
with these hematite crystals
292
00:13:05,218 --> 00:13:06,918
and this locally sourced
goat's blood.
293
00:13:06,987 --> 00:13:08,917
‐All right, that's disgusting.
‐Whoa.
294
00:13:08,989 --> 00:13:12,359
This is to purify
our intention.
295
00:13:12,425 --> 00:13:14,725
‐What is this exactly?
‐Fairy pus.
296
00:13:14,795 --> 00:13:15,895
‐Oh!
‐Ugh, okay.
297
00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:16,902
Don't worry.
It's organic.
298
00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:18,303
That's not my concern.
299
00:13:18,364 --> 00:13:20,274
‐Place your fingers like this.
‐JOHN: Ugh.
300
00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:23,343
Remember, don't move it.
The spirit does.
301
00:13:23,403 --> 00:13:25,943
‐Empty your intention.
‐Okay.
302
00:13:26,006 --> 00:13:27,336
‐Sure.
‐Done.
303
00:13:27,407 --> 00:13:29,437
No, hang on, I haven't emptied
my intention yet, David.
304
00:13:29,510 --> 00:13:31,180
‐Come on, hurry up.
‐Wait, please.
305
00:13:31,244 --> 00:13:32,684
How hard is it
not to think about anything?
306
00:13:32,746 --> 00:13:33,746
Just empty your goddamn...
‐Stop.
307
00:13:33,814 --> 00:13:34,824
‐Intention!
‐Stop interrupting.
308
00:13:34,881 --> 00:13:35,821
‐Let's go!
‐I wanna do it right.
309
00:13:35,882 --> 00:13:37,682
Just wait for me.
(chuckles)
310
00:13:37,751 --> 00:13:39,791
And there we go.
Now it's empty.
311
00:13:39,853 --> 00:13:41,053
Such a dick.
312
00:13:41,955 --> 00:13:43,655
(sighs)
Do you feel it?
313
00:13:43,724 --> 00:13:44,894
‐Feel what?
‐Feel what?
314
00:13:44,958 --> 00:13:48,088
The sacred portal opening.
Begin.
315
00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:50,161
‐May I please speak to the‐‐
‐Please don't yell.
316
00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:51,300
‐Oh.
‐Please don't yell.
317
00:13:51,364 --> 00:13:52,504
‐Excuse me.
‐Thank you.
318
00:13:52,566 --> 00:13:54,366
Um, may I please speak
to the entity
319
00:13:54,434 --> 00:13:56,504
residing at the home
of Lance DeLuca?
320
00:13:56,570 --> 00:13:58,100
Hello?
Oh, whoa.
321
00:13:58,171 --> 00:14:00,311
I am
322
00:14:00,373 --> 00:14:04,343
the g‐gho‐‐
323
00:14:04,410 --> 00:14:06,510
ghost.
324
00:14:06,580 --> 00:14:08,080
I am the ghost?
325
00:14:08,148 --> 00:14:10,778
‐Good Lord, it worked.
‐Told you.
326
00:14:10,851 --> 00:14:13,751
Okay, uh, ghost,
you've been served.
327
00:14:13,820 --> 00:14:15,290
You should hire a lawyer.
328
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:16,155
Boom!
329
00:14:16,222 --> 00:14:18,392
How you like that, ghost?
330
00:14:18,458 --> 00:14:19,658
(scream)
331
00:14:19,726 --> 00:14:22,656
(wood creaking)
332
00:14:22,729 --> 00:14:25,469
♪♪ ♪♪
333
00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:28,502
(upbeat music)
334
00:14:28,569 --> 00:14:33,909
♪♪ ♪♪
335
00:14:33,974 --> 00:14:36,914
(plucky orchestral music)
336
00:14:36,977 --> 00:14:43,947
♪♪ ♪♪
337
00:15:05,438 --> 00:15:09,638
Okay, Walt,
it's very simple.
338
00:15:09,710 --> 00:15:13,980
You give us what we want,
and we give you what you want.
339
00:15:14,047 --> 00:15:16,947
(suspenseful music)
340
00:15:17,017 --> 00:15:20,247
♪♪ ♪♪
341
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:22,620
OUTLAW: Ain't no cop
ever gonna catch me.
342
00:15:22,689 --> 00:15:24,419
SHERIFF:
You don't have to do this.
343
00:15:24,490 --> 00:15:27,360
You can trust me.
I'm your friend.
344
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:29,597
I don't trust no Sheriff.
345
00:15:29,663 --> 00:15:31,233
(Western musical flare)
346
00:15:31,297 --> 00:15:32,527
Little men like me
347
00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:34,899
don't stand a chance
against the law.
348
00:15:34,968 --> 00:15:37,838
(plucky orchestral music)
349
00:15:37,904 --> 00:15:40,674
♪♪ ♪♪
350
00:15:40,741 --> 00:15:42,081
Yeah, yeah.
351
00:15:42,142 --> 00:15:43,812
DISPATCHER: 9‐1‐Charlie.
Missing person reported.
352
00:15:43,877 --> 00:15:46,777
Small child, Polish, last seen
wearing a blue hoodie.
353
00:15:46,847 --> 00:15:48,007
10‐4.
354
00:15:48,081 --> 00:15:50,121
You kick in my door.
355
00:15:50,183 --> 00:15:51,893
Oh, that's funny.
356
00:15:51,952 --> 00:15:53,952
I don't remember
kicking in the door.
357
00:15:54,020 --> 00:15:55,660
Do you remember
kicking in the door?
358
00:15:55,722 --> 00:15:57,692
I didn't kick in no door.
359
00:15:57,758 --> 00:16:00,688
Looks like something
maybe you'd do, Jackie Chan.
360
00:16:00,761 --> 00:16:01,961
(chuckles)
361
00:16:02,028 --> 00:16:03,898
Hey, what are we doing here?
362
00:16:03,964 --> 00:16:05,334
What is this your first day?
363
00:16:05,398 --> 00:16:08,638
‐ROGER: Ah‐‐
‐MEG: Come on.
364
00:16:08,702 --> 00:16:11,772
Hey, good cake, Timmy.
You the man, man.
365
00:16:11,838 --> 00:16:14,678
(chimes shimmer)
366
00:16:14,741 --> 00:16:17,211
(plucky orchestral music)
367
00:16:17,277 --> 00:16:20,907
Whoa, easy there, cowboy.
368
00:16:20,981 --> 00:16:23,481
This must be
the missing Polish kid.
369
00:16:23,550 --> 00:16:25,290
♪♪ ♪♪
370
00:16:25,351 --> 00:16:27,821
Let's book this lard ass.
371
00:16:27,888 --> 00:16:30,358
(Western musical flare)
372
00:16:30,423 --> 00:16:32,633
OUTLAW: I don't trust
no sheriff.
373
00:16:32,693 --> 00:16:34,493
♪♪ ♪♪
374
00:16:34,561 --> 00:16:36,501
We just got a call
about you, son.
375
00:16:36,563 --> 00:16:38,103
You're gonna have
to come with us.
376
00:16:38,164 --> 00:16:39,204
(suspenseful music)
377
00:16:39,265 --> 00:16:43,065
Hey, do you speak English,
fat boy?
378
00:16:43,136 --> 00:16:45,066
♪♪ ♪♪
379
00:16:45,138 --> 00:16:48,508
Do you speak English, fat boy?
380
00:16:48,575 --> 00:16:50,735
You can trust us.
We're your friends.
381
00:16:50,811 --> 00:16:54,651
SHERIFF: You can trust me.
I'm your friend.
382
00:16:54,715 --> 00:16:56,675
♪♪ ♪♪
383
00:16:56,750 --> 00:16:59,150
You have another lollipop
you can give him?
384
00:16:59,219 --> 00:17:01,659
Ah, good call, yeah.
385
00:17:01,722 --> 00:17:08,492
♪♪ ♪♪
386
00:17:12,165 --> 00:17:15,235
I got something very special
387
00:17:15,301 --> 00:17:17,541
for you, little man.
388
00:17:17,604 --> 00:17:18,814
♪♪ ♪♪
389
00:17:18,872 --> 00:17:22,942
I have something very special
for you, little boy.
390
00:17:23,009 --> 00:17:23,909
(gunshot)
391
00:17:23,977 --> 00:17:24,907
(outlaw screams)
392
00:17:24,978 --> 00:17:26,408
Oh‐‐ah!
Oh!
393
00:17:26,479 --> 00:17:27,949
(screams)
394
00:17:28,014 --> 00:17:29,684
Officer down!
395
00:17:29,750 --> 00:17:32,620
♪♪ ♪♪
396
00:17:32,686 --> 00:17:36,116
All right, you son of a bitch.
Don't be scared.
397
00:17:36,189 --> 00:17:37,459
♪♪ ♪♪
398
00:17:37,524 --> 00:17:40,134
(grunts)
I should've never trusted you.
399
00:17:40,193 --> 00:17:42,663
You son of a bitch.
400
00:17:42,729 --> 00:17:46,269
You got that right,
you son of a bitch.
401
00:17:46,332 --> 00:17:47,272
(gunshot)
402
00:17:47,333 --> 00:17:48,703
♪♪ ♪♪
403
00:17:48,769 --> 00:17:51,169
Here, tubby, tubby.
404
00:17:51,237 --> 00:17:54,007
Come out, come out,
wherever you are.
405
00:17:54,074 --> 00:18:00,154
♪♪ ♪♪
406
00:18:00,213 --> 00:18:02,253
I'm coming
to get you, big boy.
407
00:18:02,315 --> 00:18:05,645
♪♪ ♪♪
408
00:18:05,719 --> 00:18:07,589
(screams)
409
00:18:07,654 --> 00:18:11,764
♪♪ ♪♪
410
00:18:11,825 --> 00:18:15,055
What the hell
is going on out here?
411
00:18:15,128 --> 00:18:17,258
Holy fucking crow!
412
00:18:17,330 --> 00:18:18,500
♪♪ ♪♪
413
00:18:18,565 --> 00:18:22,465
Wait, don't run.
I'm just trying to help.
414
00:18:22,536 --> 00:18:26,636
Oh, I heard that before.
Run, little man, run.
415
00:18:26,707 --> 00:18:33,577
♪♪ ♪♪
416
00:18:36,817 --> 00:18:39,747
(breathing loudly)
417
00:18:39,820 --> 00:18:43,760
♪♪ ♪♪
418
00:18:43,824 --> 00:18:46,294
(muffled gurgling)
419
00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:47,289
♪♪ ♪♪
420
00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:49,030
‐(grunts)
‐(screaming)
421
00:18:49,095 --> 00:18:51,495
Them‐‐polícia.
422
00:18:51,565 --> 00:18:52,795
(gurgles)
423
00:18:52,866 --> 00:18:55,036
Where are you, fatty?
424
00:18:55,101 --> 00:18:57,501
♪♪ ♪♪
425
00:18:57,571 --> 00:18:59,911
(laughs)
426
00:18:59,973 --> 00:19:01,343
♪♪ ♪♪
427
00:19:01,407 --> 00:19:02,737
(crowd screaming)
428
00:19:02,809 --> 00:19:04,179
(growls)
429
00:19:04,244 --> 00:19:05,914
♪♪ ♪♪
430
00:19:05,979 --> 00:19:07,649
(grunts)
Fuck!
431
00:19:07,714 --> 00:19:08,924
♪♪ ♪♪
432
00:19:08,982 --> 00:19:10,222
(exhales)
433
00:19:15,021 --> 00:19:18,531
Buckle your boots, cowboy.
You're going home.
434
00:19:18,592 --> 00:19:21,662
(soft dramatic music)
435
00:19:21,728 --> 00:19:26,368
♪♪ ♪♪
436
00:19:26,432 --> 00:19:27,572
(spirited orchestral music)
437
00:19:27,634 --> 00:19:30,904
You did a very good job
today, Walt.
438
00:19:30,971 --> 00:19:33,341
A very good job.
439
00:19:33,406 --> 00:19:36,036
♪♪ ♪♪
440
00:19:36,109 --> 00:19:38,849
(upbeat music)
441
00:19:43,016 --> 00:19:45,516
(upbeat electronic music)
442
00:19:45,586 --> 00:19:47,216
TRACEY:
Babe, I'm home!
443
00:19:47,287 --> 00:19:49,087
(gasps)
That's my mom!
444
00:19:49,155 --> 00:19:50,185
We're up here, Mommy.
445
00:19:50,256 --> 00:19:51,656
‐Dude, it was me.
‐What?
446
00:19:51,725 --> 00:19:52,625
I am the ghost.
447
00:19:52,693 --> 00:19:54,293
I recognized the house
when we pulled up.
448
00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:56,300
Lance's mom is the lady
I've been hooking up with.
449
00:19:56,362 --> 00:19:58,302
Oh, you‐‐you were
moving the Wooj‐‐‐
450
00:19:58,364 --> 00:20:02,074
‐DAVID: Yes.
‐JOHN: Oh, oh, okay, wow.
451
00:20:02,135 --> 00:20:03,435
The furniture crashing‐‐
452
00:20:03,504 --> 00:20:04,874
DAVID: It's probably
when we had coitus
453
00:20:04,938 --> 00:20:06,938
in this old, wooden chair.
He must have heard it.
454
00:20:07,007 --> 00:20:08,107
JOHN: Creaky floor?
455
00:20:08,174 --> 00:20:09,114
DAVID:
It's probably me walking
456
00:20:09,175 --> 00:20:10,535
to the bathroom after coitus.
457
00:20:10,611 --> 00:20:12,181
JOHN: Drippy faucet
even though‐‐
458
00:20:12,245 --> 00:20:14,515
DAVID: I probably didn't turn
off the water after coitus.
459
00:20:14,581 --> 00:20:18,051
Okay, and the creepy moaning?
That was you during coitus?
460
00:20:18,118 --> 00:20:19,848
Uh, no, actually,
it's me moaning
461
00:20:19,920 --> 00:20:21,990
when Tracey said no cuddling
and kicked me out
462
00:20:22,055 --> 00:20:23,355
and said I had to go home.
463
00:20:23,423 --> 00:20:25,163
But I thought you were
just using her for sex and‐‐
464
00:20:25,225 --> 00:20:26,885
It's more complicated
than that.
465
00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:27,860
‐I don't‐‐
‐Oh, okay.
466
00:20:27,928 --> 00:20:29,728
Look, the point is,
Lance already hates me.
467
00:20:29,796 --> 00:20:31,326
If he finds out I've
been screwing his mommy‐‐
468
00:20:31,397 --> 00:20:33,367
‐Ugh.
‐I gotta go.
469
00:20:33,433 --> 00:20:35,743
Lance, honey, what are you
doing up here?
470
00:20:35,802 --> 00:20:39,242
Shh, shh,
everything's gonna be okay.
471
00:20:39,305 --> 00:20:41,735
We had a séance.
No more ghosts.
472
00:20:41,808 --> 00:20:44,278
‐Jesus, what is that?
‐What?
473
00:20:44,344 --> 00:20:46,014
(gasps)
It's him!
474
00:20:46,079 --> 00:20:47,549
(thunder cracks)
475
00:20:47,614 --> 00:20:49,424
Stand back, people.
(cracks knuckles)
476
00:20:49,482 --> 00:20:51,252
I'm 'bout to beat up a ghost.
477
00:20:51,317 --> 00:20:52,987
Lance, no!
‐TRACEY: Oh, Lance, baby, no.
478
00:20:53,053 --> 00:20:54,423
Not again.
DAVID: Ow!
479
00:20:54,487 --> 00:20:55,817
TRACEY: Lance, no, no, no.
‐(grunts)
480
00:20:55,889 --> 00:20:58,559
‐DAVID: (moaning)
‐Wait, who is this?
481
00:20:58,625 --> 00:21:01,225
ALL: (gasp)
David Purefoy!
482
00:21:01,294 --> 00:21:02,704
Fuck!
483
00:21:02,763 --> 00:21:05,373
‐Hi, Tracey.
‐What is going on?
484
00:21:05,431 --> 00:21:07,531
Well, you told me
all those noises I was hearing
485
00:21:07,601 --> 00:21:09,501
at night were from a ghost.
486
00:21:09,570 --> 00:21:11,740
I wanted to protect you,
so I sued it.
487
00:21:11,805 --> 00:21:13,665
‐Sued who now?
‐The ghost.
488
00:21:13,740 --> 00:21:17,540
‐Duh, Mommy.
‐Oh...wow.
489
00:21:17,611 --> 00:21:20,351
Wait a second.
How do you know this pervert?
490
00:21:20,413 --> 00:21:22,183
Well, now, it's complicated.
491
00:21:22,248 --> 00:21:23,448
(sighs)
Do you guys have some ice?
492
00:21:23,517 --> 00:21:24,687
‐Hold up.
‐Ow.
493
00:21:24,751 --> 00:21:27,491
Somebody tell me
what the fuck is going on.
494
00:21:27,554 --> 00:21:29,594
Okay, honey,
you remember when Mommy
495
00:21:29,656 --> 00:21:31,286
was crying by herself
in the bathroom
496
00:21:31,357 --> 00:21:32,727
about two weeks ago?
497
00:21:32,793 --> 00:21:36,263
Huh, and to think there was
a brief, stupid moment
498
00:21:36,329 --> 00:21:38,299
where I actually believed
in ghosts.
499
00:21:38,364 --> 00:21:41,204
Oh, you're too cool
to believe in the occult.
500
00:21:41,267 --> 00:21:44,267
No, I believe
in human stupidity.
501
00:21:44,337 --> 00:21:46,337
Exhibit A.
Case closed.
502
00:21:46,406 --> 00:21:47,566
Well, then you
won't mind if I put
503
00:21:47,641 --> 00:21:49,541
a berserker avenging spell
on your anus.
504
00:21:49,610 --> 00:21:51,310
(chuckles)
Oh, no.
505
00:21:51,377 --> 00:21:53,177
Knock yourself out.
506
00:21:53,246 --> 00:21:54,476
Herper.
Done.
507
00:21:54,548 --> 00:21:56,118
‐That's the whole spell?
‐Yeah.
508
00:21:56,182 --> 00:21:57,422
You're in for a long night.
509
00:21:57,483 --> 00:21:58,423
You don't wanna give me
a little bit more,
510
00:21:58,484 --> 00:21:59,424
I mean, do a little show?
511
00:21:59,485 --> 00:22:00,585
LANCE: Wait a second.
512
00:22:00,654 --> 00:22:05,494
You have been fucking my mommy?
513
00:22:10,163 --> 00:22:11,803
(cool jazz music)
514
00:22:11,865 --> 00:22:15,595
Getting punched by a teenager
is a total bummer.
515
00:22:15,669 --> 00:22:17,839
Oh, well, come on, David.
It's not that bad.
516
00:22:17,904 --> 00:22:21,684
Tracey literally told Lance
I was a ghost
517
00:22:21,742 --> 00:22:24,142
rather than acknowledging me
as a person
518
00:22:24,210 --> 00:22:25,510
because she was,
like, ashamed of me.
519
00:22:25,579 --> 00:22:27,209
Yeah, it must be
very hard for you.
520
00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:29,450
And I really liked her too.
(growls)
521
00:22:29,516 --> 00:22:31,546
It's like all I have
to look forward to now
522
00:22:31,618 --> 00:22:34,018
is, like, getting
older and older
523
00:22:34,087 --> 00:22:37,017
and meeting divorced ladies
and getting a crush on 'em
524
00:22:37,090 --> 00:22:40,260
and then getting wailed on
by their children?
525
00:22:40,326 --> 00:22:41,856
Like, I'm just gonna
keep doing this
526
00:22:41,928 --> 00:22:44,668
until I'm 200 years old,
and then I'm an actual ghost,
527
00:22:44,731 --> 00:22:45,801
and then no one's
gonna wanna fuck me
528
00:22:45,866 --> 00:22:47,266
'cause it's, like,
fucking a ghost
529
00:22:47,333 --> 00:22:49,403
is like fucking the stuff
that comes out of a humidifier?
530
00:22:49,469 --> 00:22:50,869
Like, what?
This is my life?
531
00:22:50,937 --> 00:22:53,367
Uh‐huh, even though she
treated you exactly
532
00:22:53,439 --> 00:22:55,439
the same way you bragged
about treating her.
533
00:22:55,509 --> 00:22:57,109
(chuckles)
This must be very hard for you.
534
00:22:57,177 --> 00:22:58,577
Dude, what is your problem?
535
00:22:58,645 --> 00:23:01,175
I can't stand it!
My ass itches so bad.
536
00:23:01,247 --> 00:23:02,277
(laughs)
537
00:23:02,348 --> 00:23:04,618
‐I'm literally butthurt.
‐Yes.
538
00:23:04,685 --> 00:23:08,685
I know why‐‐because a witch
said she was gonna put
539
00:23:08,755 --> 00:23:10,885
a berserker revenging spell
on your anus.
540
00:23:10,957 --> 00:23:13,127
I probably ate something spicy
is all.
541
00:23:13,193 --> 00:23:14,363
You know what?
542
00:23:14,427 --> 00:23:15,497
I'm glad that I'm not
the only one hurting
543
00:23:15,562 --> 00:23:17,062
on this houseboat deck.
Thank you.
544
00:23:17,130 --> 00:23:19,070
Oh, I'm glad I could cheer
you up with my ass itching.
545
00:23:19,132 --> 00:23:20,232
Bro, you're a true friend.
546
00:23:20,300 --> 00:23:22,200
And thank your anus too.
Your butt is a true friend.
547
00:23:22,268 --> 00:23:25,468
Uh, David, will you please go
get the cream from my bathroom?
548
00:23:26,406 --> 00:23:27,636
No.
549
00:23:27,708 --> 00:23:30,838
(upbeat music)
550
00:23:30,911 --> 00:23:36,881
♪♪ ♪♪
551
00:23:45,859 --> 00:23:48,599
(upbeat percussive music)
552
00:23:48,662 --> 00:23:54,772
♪♪ ♪♪
553
00:23:58,605 --> 00:24:01,535
(upbeat music)
554
00:24:01,608 --> 00:24:07,908
♪♪ ♪♪
555
00:24:24,565 --> 00:24:26,495
(upbeat music)
556
00:24:26,567 --> 00:24:27,667
ALL: Yes!