1 00:00:01,400 --> 00:00:05,380 How many clients have you seen this week? Five or six. 2 00:00:05,380 --> 00:00:08,740 You take the cash before anything happens? Yes, I do. Yes. 3 00:00:08,740 --> 00:00:13,140 And count it? Yes, I always count it in front of them. 4 00:00:13,140 --> 00:00:16,340 Yeah, I would find that embarrassing if I was an escort. 5 00:00:16,340 --> 00:00:19,100 I'm not, but Caroline is more mercenary. 6 00:00:19,100 --> 00:00:20,900 This programme contains some strong language, 7 00:00:20,900 --> 00:00:23,900 scenes which some viewers may find upsetting, and some scenes of a sexual nature 8 00:00:23,900 --> 00:00:24,980 I'm ready. 9 00:00:24,980 --> 00:00:27,180 I just wanted to say... 10 00:00:27,180 --> 00:00:30,860 ..that I belong to you. 11 00:00:30,860 --> 00:00:32,780 I'm yours. 12 00:00:32,780 --> 00:00:37,020 But I want to give myself to another man for an hour, 13 00:00:37,020 --> 00:00:42,460 so I just wondered if you could give me away to him. 14 00:00:42,460 --> 00:00:46,220 OK, darling. Yes. I give you away to Dave for the hour. 15 00:00:46,220 --> 00:00:49,300 Yeah. Thank you. 16 00:00:54,620 --> 00:00:57,380 For several months, I had been spending time with women 17 00:00:57,380 --> 00:01:00,900 around Britain who legally sell sex for a living. 18 00:01:02,340 --> 00:01:06,940 Fuelled by websites and social media, a new economy has emerged, 19 00:01:06,940 --> 00:01:09,260 bringing a world of transactional sex 20 00:01:09,260 --> 00:01:13,620 to people who might never previously have considered it. 21 00:01:13,620 --> 00:01:16,580 "A splendidly satisfactory young lady." 22 00:01:16,580 --> 00:01:19,380 Wow, that one's almost, I don't know, written in... Eloquent. 23 00:01:19,380 --> 00:01:22,100 ..sort of Victorian English. Yeah. 24 00:01:22,100 --> 00:01:25,100 But the act still carries a weight of stigma 25 00:01:25,100 --> 00:01:28,740 and many view it as damaging and degrading... 26 00:01:28,740 --> 00:01:31,100 People say, like, I'm a bad mum and stuff like that 27 00:01:31,100 --> 00:01:33,020 cos I do what I do. 28 00:01:33,020 --> 00:01:35,260 But, you know, we're just providing a service. 29 00:01:35,260 --> 00:01:37,300 That's what we're doing. 30 00:01:37,300 --> 00:01:39,820 ..raising the question of whether selling sex 31 00:01:39,820 --> 00:01:43,580 can ever be a healthy way to make money. 32 00:01:43,580 --> 00:01:47,620 "I'm very relaxed and will give you a genuine, not acted 33 00:01:47,620 --> 00:01:51,100 "real girlfriend experience. 34 00:01:51,100 --> 00:01:54,580 "I promise you that we will have a time you will never forget." 35 00:02:10,500 --> 00:02:13,620 In Nottingham, I had a breakfast appointment. 36 00:02:13,620 --> 00:02:16,020 KNOCKING 37 00:02:17,660 --> 00:02:20,980 Hi, Louis. Hello. Are you Victoria? 38 00:02:20,980 --> 00:02:23,780 I am. Nice to meet you. And you. Can we come in? Yeah, come on in. 39 00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:30,500 What do you want, you lot? Who's having toast? 40 00:02:30,500 --> 00:02:34,180 At 33 years old, Victoria - her working name - 41 00:02:34,180 --> 00:02:37,180 is a single mum and sole provider for her family. 42 00:02:37,180 --> 00:02:39,140 No! Yeah! 43 00:02:39,140 --> 00:02:43,060 For the last four and a half years, she's worked in the sex industry. 44 00:02:43,060 --> 00:02:46,780 How many children do you have? Four. 45 00:02:46,780 --> 00:02:49,620 Socks would be a bonus at some point, wouldn't they? 46 00:02:49,620 --> 00:02:53,380 Listen to Mummy. You need to go put your socks on. 47 00:02:53,380 --> 00:02:57,300 Yay! OK, bye. Bye. Bye. 48 00:02:57,300 --> 00:03:00,060 I'll let you sit on the comfy chair. 49 00:03:01,500 --> 00:03:04,300 Like an increasing number of women who sell sex, 50 00:03:04,300 --> 00:03:07,260 Victoria finds her clients through social media 51 00:03:07,260 --> 00:03:09,820 and a website called AdultWork. 52 00:03:09,820 --> 00:03:12,540 So, I'll show you my profile. 53 00:03:12,540 --> 00:03:15,060 Is that you? That's me. Yeah. 54 00:03:15,060 --> 00:03:16,980 Classy Filth 69. 55 00:03:16,980 --> 00:03:21,420 "I'm a very honest, caring, upfront and extremely classy lady 56 00:03:21,420 --> 00:03:23,900 "who enjoys all the finer things in life. 57 00:03:23,900 --> 00:03:26,780 "But when it comes to the bedroom, I'm the most naughtiest, 58 00:03:26,780 --> 00:03:29,100 "filthiest lady you would ever meet." 59 00:03:30,380 --> 00:03:32,540 What do you think? It's the yin and the yang. 60 00:03:32,540 --> 00:03:34,820 I like it. Yeah. 61 00:03:34,820 --> 00:03:37,100 And how many bookings would you expect to get 62 00:03:37,100 --> 00:03:39,140 on a day when you are on? 63 00:03:39,140 --> 00:03:40,980 I normally get about four. 64 00:03:42,420 --> 00:03:45,500 So, that... Four in one day? Yeah. 65 00:03:45,500 --> 00:03:47,100 So you've got to understand, 66 00:03:47,100 --> 00:03:49,340 I still like to take the children to school, 67 00:03:49,340 --> 00:03:52,100 so, and then I'll try and do my bookings, 68 00:03:52,100 --> 00:03:54,580 majority of them, while the children are at school. 69 00:03:54,580 --> 00:03:57,500 It's important to you to be around for the kids. Yeah. 70 00:03:57,500 --> 00:04:01,180 So I always say, like, my main job is to be a mother. 71 00:04:01,180 --> 00:04:03,700 Then the second is obviously work. 72 00:04:05,660 --> 00:04:10,780 That's why this is a perfect job for me, you know? 73 00:04:10,780 --> 00:04:12,860 Flexible. 74 00:04:17,740 --> 00:04:20,580 Victoria never takes bookings at home. 75 00:04:20,580 --> 00:04:23,740 She does most of her appointments at hotels around Nottingham, 76 00:04:23,740 --> 00:04:25,860 charging around £250 an hour. 77 00:04:27,020 --> 00:04:29,660 How much do we know about this guy? This client? 78 00:04:29,660 --> 00:04:34,700 I've seen him practically, like, once a week, he sees me. 79 00:04:34,700 --> 00:04:37,260 He's a single guy. 80 00:04:37,260 --> 00:04:42,740 He can just keep going and going and going and going. 81 00:04:43,780 --> 00:04:48,540 Are you aware of there being a degree of danger involved in the work? 82 00:04:48,540 --> 00:04:52,460 There's a danger in anything, isn't there? 83 00:04:52,460 --> 00:04:55,940 I think that this is a lot less dangerous 84 00:04:55,940 --> 00:04:59,420 than me on a night out being drunk and meeting somebody 85 00:04:59,420 --> 00:05:01,980 and going back to a hotel with somebody. 86 00:05:03,060 --> 00:05:05,860 But I think you just have to be on guard. 87 00:05:10,980 --> 00:05:13,940 Have you worked in this one before? Yes. 88 00:05:16,980 --> 00:05:19,060 You need to get into your... I need to get changed. 89 00:05:19,060 --> 00:05:22,100 I need to jump in the shower. You need to get into game mode. Yeah. 90 00:05:24,100 --> 00:05:26,180 TRICKLING WATER 91 00:05:26,180 --> 00:05:28,900 PHONE PINGS 92 00:05:31,100 --> 00:05:33,700 I'm coming. PHONE PINGS 93 00:05:33,700 --> 00:05:36,020 Going and going, isn't it? 94 00:05:36,020 --> 00:05:38,620 INDISTINCT 95 00:05:38,620 --> 00:05:41,460 That's all the jobs coming in. Is it? 96 00:05:41,460 --> 00:05:44,100 It's popping off. Yeah, it's dinner time. 97 00:05:44,100 --> 00:05:46,700 Dinner time? Yeah. Break time. Right. 98 00:05:46,700 --> 00:05:50,300 People on their lunch break... Yeah. ..popping out for a quickie. Yeah. 99 00:05:51,780 --> 00:05:53,820 KNOCKING 100 00:05:55,580 --> 00:05:58,660 With the client arriving, it was time for me to leave. 101 00:06:10,980 --> 00:06:14,580 The exchange of sex for money is legal in Britain, 102 00:06:14,580 --> 00:06:17,860 so long as it doesn't involve coercion, exploitation 103 00:06:17,860 --> 00:06:20,020 or any kind of public nuisance. 104 00:06:21,460 --> 00:06:24,700 And with the advent of social media and specialist websites, 105 00:06:24,700 --> 00:06:26,900 it is on the rise. 106 00:06:28,940 --> 00:06:32,780 Technology has made sexual services more accessible than ever before, 107 00:06:32,780 --> 00:06:35,140 with every taste catered to. 108 00:06:38,140 --> 00:06:41,940 Users can see photos, check reviews and offer feedback. 109 00:06:44,180 --> 00:06:48,060 But the age-old issue of whether sex should ever be traded remains. 110 00:06:56,020 --> 00:06:58,940 A growing number of those involved are said to be students 111 00:06:58,940 --> 00:07:03,220 trying to make ends meet while they pursue an education. 112 00:07:03,220 --> 00:07:06,420 In southwest London, I was meeting a 23-year-old 113 00:07:06,420 --> 00:07:08,780 in her final year of art school. 114 00:07:10,820 --> 00:07:13,700 Hello. Are you Ashley? That's me. 115 00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:16,300 Louis. How do you do? Can we hug instead? Of course. 116 00:07:16,300 --> 00:07:17,940 For several years, 117 00:07:17,940 --> 00:07:21,980 Ashley had streamed live sex shows from home for money. 118 00:07:21,980 --> 00:07:25,620 Six weeks earlier, she'd taken the step of opening an account 119 00:07:25,620 --> 00:07:27,620 on an industry website. 120 00:07:27,620 --> 00:07:30,140 Welcome. I like it. Top floor. 121 00:07:30,140 --> 00:07:32,340 Ashley also has Asperger's. 122 00:07:32,340 --> 00:07:35,420 She lives with her best friend, Georgina. 123 00:07:35,420 --> 00:07:38,020 It's really nice. It's got so much character. 124 00:07:41,300 --> 00:07:43,620 So I understand you've got a booking tonight. 125 00:07:43,620 --> 00:07:45,980 Yeah, at eight o'clock. Did it come through AdultWork? 126 00:07:45,980 --> 00:07:49,420 Yeah. So I put myself as available at about three o'clock today. 127 00:07:49,420 --> 00:07:51,260 And this guy messaged me being like, 128 00:07:51,260 --> 00:07:53,500 "I'm in Fulham. Can you come out for an hour?" 129 00:07:53,500 --> 00:07:57,140 And he was like, "I'm 25. 5ft 10. Same height as you. Clean." 130 00:07:57,140 --> 00:08:00,980 Like, I know. Like, it's going... Yeah. It should be fine. 131 00:08:00,980 --> 00:08:04,660 Have you got reviews of the guy? That I'm going to see? Yeah. 132 00:08:04,660 --> 00:08:07,820 OK, let me... Have you looked at them? No. Let me go and look. 133 00:08:08,940 --> 00:08:11,540 Well, they were all positive so, like, that was fine. Oh, I see. 134 00:08:11,540 --> 00:08:14,420 If you go on it and they're all positive, there's not really a... 135 00:08:14,420 --> 00:08:16,700 He's got 498. GASPS 136 00:08:16,700 --> 00:08:19,060 Reviews? Yeah. 137 00:08:19,060 --> 00:08:22,180 "Good guy, big cock, knows how to use it." 138 00:08:22,180 --> 00:08:23,940 Aah! LAUGHS 139 00:08:23,940 --> 00:08:26,180 "One hour full of orgasms and pleasure. 140 00:08:26,180 --> 00:08:27,860 "Kiss, kiss, kiss." 141 00:08:27,860 --> 00:08:30,860 "Expected someone coy, was instead surprised by a real man, 142 00:08:30,860 --> 00:08:33,900 "someone who genuinely taught me so much about my own body." 143 00:08:33,900 --> 00:08:36,180 Wow! Maybe I'm in for a wild ride tonight. 144 00:08:36,180 --> 00:08:38,780 "Handsome and possessed great skill." Who knows? 145 00:08:38,780 --> 00:08:40,820 Maybe I'll come out a different woman. 146 00:08:40,820 --> 00:08:43,660 Sounds like you've got someone who's been around the block a few times. 147 00:08:43,660 --> 00:08:45,660 I'm ready for it. Bring it on, bitch. 148 00:08:45,660 --> 00:08:47,500 THEY LAUGH 149 00:08:47,500 --> 00:08:49,700 Vroom, vroom! Can I get dressed? Yeah, please. 150 00:08:49,700 --> 00:08:50,980 I'm getting nervous, sorry. 151 00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:59,460 I'm going to be really late. 152 00:08:59,460 --> 00:09:01,740 Well, let's just go then. Let's go. 153 00:09:01,740 --> 00:09:03,340 Just being like... SHE PANTS 154 00:09:09,660 --> 00:09:11,460 How are you feeling? 155 00:09:11,460 --> 00:09:14,700 I'm fine, to be honest. I'm, like, excited. 156 00:09:14,700 --> 00:09:16,300 It's quite fun. 157 00:09:16,300 --> 00:09:18,700 Like, it's like going out, but without the commitment 158 00:09:18,700 --> 00:09:20,620 cos it's only one hour and I can leave. 159 00:09:20,620 --> 00:09:22,860 How many bookings would you say you've had 160 00:09:22,860 --> 00:09:24,820 in the six weeks you've been doing it? Oh, gosh... 161 00:09:24,820 --> 00:09:26,260 50? 162 00:09:26,260 --> 00:09:28,420 Yeah, maybe. Yeah. 163 00:09:29,980 --> 00:09:31,380 It's quite a lot, isn't it? 164 00:09:32,820 --> 00:09:34,820 I know that a lot of people say, like, 165 00:09:34,820 --> 00:09:36,660 "Oh, you don't have to do this." 166 00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:39,740 Like, you know, saviour complex. Like, I don't need to be saved. 167 00:09:39,740 --> 00:09:42,140 I'm doing it on my own terms and I'm actually in power 168 00:09:42,140 --> 00:09:46,020 in this situation and I feel empowered by it. 169 00:09:46,020 --> 00:09:49,860 And if that's how I feel, then that's all that matters, really. You know what I mean? 170 00:09:49,860 --> 00:09:53,340 Would you expect to have an orgasm if you...? No. 171 00:09:53,340 --> 00:09:56,580 I think that I'm, like, a bit closed off 172 00:09:56,580 --> 00:09:59,860 with letting myself have the enjoyment. 173 00:09:59,860 --> 00:10:01,860 It's more about the scenario. 174 00:10:01,860 --> 00:10:05,820 I will orgasm if I'm in a scenario where I feel calm and comfortable 175 00:10:05,820 --> 00:10:09,180 as opposed to, like, the actual pleasure. 176 00:10:09,180 --> 00:10:11,220 But you'd expect to be aroused. 177 00:10:11,220 --> 00:10:14,340 Well, I just get aroused by being touched. Do you? 178 00:10:14,340 --> 00:10:16,940 Yeah. Like, if you're to put your arm on my leg right now, 179 00:10:16,940 --> 00:10:18,260 I'd probably be aroused. 180 00:10:18,260 --> 00:10:21,700 Like, people always "compliment" me, I guess, being like, 181 00:10:21,700 --> 00:10:23,820 "Oh, you're always so wet, you must be so into it." 182 00:10:23,820 --> 00:10:25,820 And I'm just like, "Honey, I'm always wet." 183 00:10:25,820 --> 00:10:28,540 Like, I'm just aroused a lot of the time. Yeah. 184 00:10:30,260 --> 00:10:32,100 LAUGHS 185 00:10:36,620 --> 00:10:38,620 OK, then. LAUGHS 186 00:10:40,700 --> 00:10:43,460 Let me just have a cigarette. 187 00:10:51,020 --> 00:10:54,020 With a moment to myself, I reflected on the strangeness 188 00:10:54,020 --> 00:10:56,140 of what was taking place. 189 00:10:58,740 --> 00:11:00,980 Behind a closed door, Ashley was providing 190 00:11:00,980 --> 00:11:04,700 what is usually understood to be the most intimate physical act 191 00:11:04,700 --> 00:11:07,260 to a stranger, for money. 192 00:11:09,940 --> 00:11:12,980 I wondered whether she was safe and how she really felt 193 00:11:12,980 --> 00:11:14,980 about what was happening. 194 00:11:23,100 --> 00:11:25,500 An hour later, she re-emerged. 195 00:11:30,100 --> 00:11:31,260 How was it? 196 00:11:31,260 --> 00:11:33,300 It was great. I don't know, he was like... 197 00:11:33,300 --> 00:11:34,500 I'm 23. He was like 25. 198 00:11:34,500 --> 00:11:38,540 And he had, like, nice hair and he was kind of cool, I guess. 199 00:11:38,540 --> 00:11:40,780 I was just like, "I would date you. 200 00:11:40,780 --> 00:11:42,740 "I don't know what you're paying me 201 00:11:42,740 --> 00:11:44,580 "cos I would go on a date with you." 202 00:11:44,580 --> 00:11:46,900 And I said... I said to him, I was like, 203 00:11:46,900 --> 00:11:48,820 "Why don't... Why do you use AdultWork? 204 00:11:48,820 --> 00:11:51,940 "Like, why not just go on Tinder or whatever?" 205 00:11:51,940 --> 00:11:54,540 He was like, "On the weekend, it's popping off on Tinder. 206 00:11:54,540 --> 00:11:56,020 "During the week, not so much. 207 00:11:56,020 --> 00:11:58,660 "Everyone's got a job, so got to get on the old AdultWork 208 00:11:58,660 --> 00:12:01,820 "and it's less commitment, isn't it?" 209 00:12:01,820 --> 00:12:05,260 I'm just conscious that you are six weeks in. 210 00:12:05,260 --> 00:12:08,620 It's still really... Early days. Exactly. 211 00:12:08,620 --> 00:12:11,300 I've been so lucky with the clients that I've got 212 00:12:11,300 --> 00:12:13,860 and the way that, like, it's gone for me. 213 00:12:15,100 --> 00:12:17,500 So now you are feeling... What's in your...? I feel great. 214 00:12:17,500 --> 00:12:19,620 I've got money in my bag. 215 00:12:19,620 --> 00:12:22,420 I've been sexually satisfied. 216 00:12:22,420 --> 00:12:25,420 I'm going to go home and order a pizza. 217 00:12:25,420 --> 00:12:28,700 Probably chain smokes some Marlboro cigarettes. 218 00:12:28,700 --> 00:12:30,740 Menthol at the moment. 219 00:12:51,820 --> 00:12:54,020 The common criticism of selling sex - 220 00:12:54,020 --> 00:12:57,380 that the act is necessarily intimate and should not be traded - 221 00:12:57,380 --> 00:13:00,580 is made even more real when the person involved 222 00:13:00,580 --> 00:13:02,100 is in a relationship. 223 00:13:04,420 --> 00:13:08,140 I was curious to meet a woman participating in the sexual economy 224 00:13:08,140 --> 00:13:11,180 but who is part of a committed couple. 225 00:13:13,940 --> 00:13:18,340 Hello. Hi. Can I come in? Come in. How are you? 226 00:13:18,340 --> 00:13:22,140 In West Sussex I was with Caroline - who describes herself as an escort - 227 00:13:22,140 --> 00:13:26,980 and her husband of 44 years, Graham, a chartered surveyor. 228 00:13:31,020 --> 00:13:34,340 On my wedding day was one of the first times I discovered 229 00:13:34,340 --> 00:13:36,940 that I loved being the centre of attention. Mm. 230 00:13:38,220 --> 00:13:43,220 How old were you both? I was 19 and Graham was 23. 231 00:13:44,740 --> 00:13:49,020 And you were both virgins? Mm-hm. Yeah. 232 00:13:49,020 --> 00:13:51,140 Because you'd come from quite a religious upbringing, 233 00:13:51,140 --> 00:13:53,620 both of you. Yes. Yeah. 234 00:13:53,620 --> 00:13:57,100 It wasn't the done thing to have sex before you got married. 235 00:13:57,100 --> 00:13:59,700 Graham would have done it if I'd let him. 236 00:13:59,700 --> 00:14:01,740 But must have been quite difficult - 237 00:14:01,740 --> 00:14:03,980 neither of you with any sexual experience 238 00:14:03,980 --> 00:14:06,220 attempting to have sex for the first time. Yeah. 239 00:14:06,220 --> 00:14:08,860 Yes. It was interesting. Did it work? No. 240 00:14:08,860 --> 00:14:11,020 THEY LAUGH It didn't go very well? 241 00:14:11,020 --> 00:14:15,540 Didn't go very well. It wasn't a revelatory experience. No. 242 00:14:15,540 --> 00:14:17,780 Do you remember it? Vaguely. 243 00:14:17,780 --> 00:14:19,860 Not very well. No. Erm... 244 00:14:21,020 --> 00:14:22,700 It was just on the M1, wasn't it? 245 00:14:22,700 --> 00:14:25,700 Trying to get north. Newport Pagnell. 246 00:14:25,700 --> 00:14:29,380 Oh, yeah. Is that a metaphor? No, it was Newport. 247 00:14:29,380 --> 00:14:32,420 We went to the Lake District for our honeymoon, 248 00:14:32,420 --> 00:14:35,860 so we stopped halfway in a Travel Lodge overnight. 249 00:14:37,100 --> 00:14:40,780 It took a while for you to get comfortable with your sexuality. 250 00:14:40,780 --> 00:14:44,580 Definitely. Yeah. I mean, it took quite a few years, in fact. 251 00:14:44,580 --> 00:14:46,820 Quite a few years. 252 00:14:53,140 --> 00:14:55,020 Put your head down... 253 00:14:55,020 --> 00:14:58,340 Downstairs, Caroline and Graham had arranged a photo shoot 254 00:14:58,340 --> 00:15:01,740 for Caroline's social media to attract more clients. 255 00:15:01,740 --> 00:15:05,100 What sort of work did you do before this, Caroline? 256 00:15:05,100 --> 00:15:07,540 Erm, dental nursing. 257 00:15:07,540 --> 00:15:09,620 I'm still a qualified dental nurse 258 00:15:09,620 --> 00:15:11,820 but I don't really do it much any more. 259 00:15:11,820 --> 00:15:14,860 Do you want to do an explicit one with your bra off? OK. 260 00:15:16,100 --> 00:15:19,860 When you decided to do it, was it for the money or the adventure 261 00:15:19,860 --> 00:15:22,780 or the pleasure of the sex? 262 00:15:22,780 --> 00:15:26,260 I never thought about being an escort until we met some friends 263 00:15:26,260 --> 00:15:29,460 on holiday when we were in the south of France 264 00:15:29,460 --> 00:15:32,980 and she told us that she was an escort. 265 00:15:32,980 --> 00:15:36,620 Probably took me about a year to come to the decision. 266 00:15:36,620 --> 00:15:39,940 When she first said it, Graham said, "Oh, you ought to do that." 267 00:15:39,940 --> 00:15:42,660 I was being... I was joking, to be honest. 268 00:15:42,660 --> 00:15:44,860 He was joking, but 1% serious. 269 00:15:46,340 --> 00:15:47,980 You know, I struggle with... 270 00:15:47,980 --> 00:15:51,900 Or I have done over the years, with my self-esteem. 271 00:15:51,900 --> 00:15:55,620 So this helps me to see myself in a better light 272 00:15:55,620 --> 00:16:00,420 when I can see that lots of men want to come and see me. 273 00:16:00,420 --> 00:16:02,780 And they fancy me. 274 00:16:02,780 --> 00:16:05,460 It makes me feel better about myself. 275 00:16:05,460 --> 00:16:08,620 And now Graham's my biggest encourager. 276 00:16:11,980 --> 00:16:14,140 Right, now, turn round to face the mirror. 277 00:16:15,980 --> 00:16:18,060 Yeah, that's great. 278 00:16:30,620 --> 00:16:32,860 I was back in Nottingham with Victoria. 279 00:16:34,700 --> 00:16:37,500 I'd been curious to get to know a little more about her. 280 00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:42,820 I knew she'd had to rebuild her life five years earlier 281 00:16:42,820 --> 00:16:44,820 when she'd left the father of her children. 282 00:16:44,820 --> 00:16:46,100 Tell me if you need a hand... 283 00:16:46,100 --> 00:16:48,900 She'd also told me she'd had a difficult upbringing, 284 00:16:48,900 --> 00:16:51,540 moving out of the family home at 14. 285 00:16:52,980 --> 00:16:55,220 I wondered how that had affected her later on. 286 00:16:57,660 --> 00:17:00,660 She was getting her kitbag ready for an appointment. 287 00:17:01,900 --> 00:17:04,940 I'm so disorganised. 288 00:17:04,940 --> 00:17:06,460 What were you looking for? 289 00:17:06,460 --> 00:17:08,980 A stocking. I only had one stocking. Oh. 290 00:17:11,660 --> 00:17:12,820 This is going to sound like 291 00:17:12,820 --> 00:17:14,540 a really weird open ended question, OK? 292 00:17:14,540 --> 00:17:17,900 But what do you think is the right way of doing it? 293 00:17:17,900 --> 00:17:20,020 What's the right way of doing sex? Mm. 294 00:17:20,020 --> 00:17:22,420 Everybody's different. 295 00:17:22,420 --> 00:17:24,380 Everybody's different, aren't they? 296 00:17:25,660 --> 00:17:28,780 So... For you, then. For me? 297 00:17:32,340 --> 00:17:35,700 I see having a cuddle as sex. 298 00:17:37,060 --> 00:17:41,740 I've had, like, so many bad sexual experiences. 299 00:17:41,740 --> 00:17:46,860 Like, people just abusing me, taking everything from me from being 14. 300 00:17:48,060 --> 00:17:50,460 I just think there's nothing... 301 00:17:50,460 --> 00:17:52,500 I can just easily do it. There's nothing. 302 00:17:52,500 --> 00:17:56,300 There's no good connection there, through sex. 303 00:17:56,300 --> 00:17:58,620 So I've turned it around. 304 00:17:58,620 --> 00:18:01,460 So I've got an ability to be able to have sex with anybody 305 00:18:01,460 --> 00:18:03,460 and it not mean anything 306 00:18:03,460 --> 00:18:05,500 so I can easily go do my job. 307 00:18:06,740 --> 00:18:10,380 You know what I mean? So I just look at it in a positive way. 308 00:18:10,380 --> 00:18:12,980 Is that bad? CHUCKLES 309 00:18:14,940 --> 00:18:16,660 Does it feel bad? 310 00:18:16,660 --> 00:18:19,500 No, no. I'm not doing anything... 311 00:18:22,380 --> 00:18:25,180 ..wrong or illegal or anything that... 312 00:18:26,180 --> 00:18:28,060 ..people don't want to do. 313 00:18:28,060 --> 00:18:30,340 People want to do this. People come to me, you know? 314 00:18:33,100 --> 00:18:35,500 I just use it as an advantage. 315 00:18:37,140 --> 00:18:38,900 Do you see what I mean? 316 00:18:41,060 --> 00:18:43,700 So... Were you abused when you were... 317 00:18:43,700 --> 00:18:47,140 Before you were 14, were you abused? No. 14. 318 00:18:47,140 --> 00:18:50,580 I was just a stray of a kid, really. I was everywhere. 319 00:18:50,580 --> 00:18:53,020 So people took advantage. 320 00:18:55,260 --> 00:18:58,700 Especially one guy in particular, who was 25. 321 00:18:59,820 --> 00:19:04,300 Erm, obviously, he just seen me as vulnerable, but... 322 00:19:07,860 --> 00:19:11,700 Yeah. Someone who took advantage of you? Yeah, yeah. 323 00:19:17,020 --> 00:19:19,220 But when you're young and when you're vulnerable, 324 00:19:19,220 --> 00:19:22,060 and when you've got nowhere to go and nothing to do, 325 00:19:22,060 --> 00:19:23,700 you don't go to school 326 00:19:23,700 --> 00:19:26,620 and you don't have, really, a home... 327 00:19:27,860 --> 00:19:32,380 ..and somebody shows an interest, you don't realise it's just sexual. 328 00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:34,980 You'd think that they care about you and stuff like that. 329 00:19:34,980 --> 00:19:37,140 You know, so... 330 00:19:38,300 --> 00:19:42,180 I used to do all these crazy sexual things to keep him happy. 331 00:19:43,620 --> 00:19:47,660 Yeah, sex is just not the same for me as most people. 332 00:19:50,940 --> 00:19:54,660 I think that's the best way to word it, I think. 333 00:19:57,020 --> 00:20:00,380 So... Is that all that's coming? I can carry that. Are you sure? Yeah. 334 00:20:01,860 --> 00:20:04,060 Must be good for something. 335 00:20:05,700 --> 00:20:09,500 Is that it? That's it. All done. 336 00:20:12,820 --> 00:20:15,060 The revelation of Victoria's abuse 337 00:20:15,060 --> 00:20:18,500 seemed to put her decision to sell sex in a different light. 338 00:20:19,780 --> 00:20:22,420 It now seemed a side effect of her upbringing, 339 00:20:22,420 --> 00:20:25,020 but whether that made it the wrong lifestyle for her 340 00:20:25,020 --> 00:20:26,460 was a different question. 341 00:20:30,500 --> 00:20:33,260 We were on our way to another hotel. 342 00:20:33,260 --> 00:20:35,380 One of her regulars had agreed to speak to me 343 00:20:35,380 --> 00:20:37,620 with his identity protected. 344 00:20:39,700 --> 00:20:42,340 KNOCKING Hello. 345 00:20:42,340 --> 00:20:45,980 How are you doing? Nervous. Yeah, I can imagine. 346 00:20:47,140 --> 00:20:48,620 Victoria was saying that you've... 347 00:20:48,620 --> 00:20:50,780 You've been seeing each other for a couple of months. 348 00:20:50,780 --> 00:20:52,900 Couple of months, yeah. 349 00:20:52,900 --> 00:20:55,180 How did you first find out about her? 350 00:20:55,180 --> 00:20:57,700 It was through an online site, actually. 351 00:20:57,700 --> 00:20:59,740 Looked at Victoria's profile. 352 00:20:59,740 --> 00:21:03,940 I went really, really deep into the research of, like, what she's like. 353 00:21:03,940 --> 00:21:07,500 As I understand it, you were coming out of a relationship. 354 00:21:07,500 --> 00:21:09,060 Yes, that's correct. 355 00:21:09,060 --> 00:21:11,260 It had kind of gone dead, effectively. 356 00:21:11,260 --> 00:21:14,220 There was no contact any more. No physical side to it. 357 00:21:14,220 --> 00:21:16,540 No physical side to it, no emotional side to it. 358 00:21:16,540 --> 00:21:20,820 I was kind of crying out for...basically some attention. Mm. 359 00:21:21,940 --> 00:21:25,580 Is the aim to get back to a kind of girlfriend relationship? 360 00:21:25,580 --> 00:21:27,620 I don't know what I want at the minute. 361 00:21:27,620 --> 00:21:31,500 I think I'm trying to find my way of reconnecting with new people again. 362 00:21:31,500 --> 00:21:35,140 And this, this has been kind of a big help for that. 363 00:21:35,140 --> 00:21:37,980 It's actually been a big boost of confidence for me. 364 00:21:37,980 --> 00:21:41,300 I think this is, like, a bit of fresh air. 365 00:21:41,300 --> 00:21:43,460 A breath of fresh air. Do you know what I mean? 366 00:21:43,460 --> 00:21:47,300 And I think without that, that could...you could spiral 367 00:21:47,300 --> 00:21:50,340 down into depression. 368 00:21:50,340 --> 00:21:52,420 I could... Like, from... 369 00:21:52,420 --> 00:21:55,460 I don't know. That's my thing from... Oh, yeah. No, I know. 370 00:21:55,460 --> 00:21:57,500 I could have spiralled out really badly. 371 00:21:57,500 --> 00:22:00,500 Is it important for you that 372 00:22:00,500 --> 00:22:05,260 Victoria enjoys having sex with you? 373 00:22:05,260 --> 00:22:07,220 Oh, God, yeah. 374 00:22:07,220 --> 00:22:10,380 I only want us to do things that we both want to do together. 375 00:22:10,380 --> 00:22:13,980 I'm not interested in meeting somebody who's just... 376 00:22:15,580 --> 00:22:18,180 ..there to please me in that kind of way 377 00:22:18,180 --> 00:22:20,020 and then leave it at that. 378 00:22:20,020 --> 00:22:23,060 But at the same time, we have to acknowledge 379 00:22:23,060 --> 00:22:25,620 that she would not be having sex with you 380 00:22:25,620 --> 00:22:28,580 were it not for the professional arrangement. 381 00:22:28,580 --> 00:22:33,020 Right? I would assume so. Yeah. 382 00:22:33,020 --> 00:22:36,260 It's not something I've actually given a lot of thought to. 383 00:22:37,580 --> 00:22:40,500 I don't know where I sit with her at the minute. 384 00:22:45,340 --> 00:22:49,740 I was surprised at the apparent vulnerability of Victoria's client, 385 00:22:49,740 --> 00:22:51,900 and also by him failing to consider 386 00:22:51,900 --> 00:22:54,740 whether Victoria might not enjoy the sex. 387 00:22:57,100 --> 00:22:59,900 I wondered about the impact on her 388 00:22:59,900 --> 00:23:03,820 of having to impersonate a level of intimacy she didn't feel. 389 00:23:16,460 --> 00:23:18,340 CHILD LAUGHS 390 00:23:18,340 --> 00:23:20,940 You can have your TV on for a little bit. 391 00:23:20,940 --> 00:23:23,020 Later that day, back at home, 392 00:23:23,020 --> 00:23:26,820 it was time for the evening routine with the kids. 393 00:23:26,820 --> 00:23:28,100 Who's in this one, then? 394 00:23:29,500 --> 00:23:32,900 This is like being on a submarine, this one. Yeah! 395 00:23:32,900 --> 00:23:35,140 Whoa! It's quite long, isn't it? 396 00:23:35,140 --> 00:23:36,780 It's huge. 397 00:23:36,780 --> 00:23:38,820 Uh-oh, there's a ninja. 398 00:23:38,820 --> 00:23:41,540 He's got a special way of ninja-walking. 399 00:23:41,540 --> 00:23:43,860 He's so quiet when he's ninja-walking. 400 00:23:43,860 --> 00:23:45,220 VICTORIA LAUGHS 401 00:23:45,220 --> 00:23:46,660 He's ninja-walked away. 402 00:23:49,140 --> 00:23:51,340 Victoria had told me she planned to tell her boys 403 00:23:51,340 --> 00:23:53,060 what she does when they're older, 404 00:23:53,060 --> 00:23:56,300 but she's made no secret of it in the wider community. 405 00:23:56,300 --> 00:23:58,140 Show me around. What have we got in here? 406 00:23:58,140 --> 00:24:02,100 Among those in the know is her daughter, 14-year-old Sapphire, 407 00:24:02,100 --> 00:24:03,860 who she told a year ago. 408 00:24:05,540 --> 00:24:09,260 We talked a little bit downstairs, didn't we, about escorting? 409 00:24:09,260 --> 00:24:11,340 What's your view of it? 410 00:24:11,340 --> 00:24:13,700 I think if she wants to do it, then it's her choice. 411 00:24:13,700 --> 00:24:15,020 Nobody should, like... 412 00:24:16,620 --> 00:24:19,620 ..not accept that, or nobody should say anything bad about it, 413 00:24:19,620 --> 00:24:21,300 because it's her decision. 414 00:24:21,300 --> 00:24:24,740 Do you understand why some people don't like it? 415 00:24:24,740 --> 00:24:28,420 Yeah. It's just a job that people see as a negative job. 416 00:24:28,420 --> 00:24:31,700 Like, if you're... If you're in a bank, that's a good job. 417 00:24:31,700 --> 00:24:35,420 If you... If you're a cleaner, that's seen as a bad job. 418 00:24:35,420 --> 00:24:37,660 It's just one of the jobs that people don't like. 419 00:24:37,660 --> 00:24:40,820 And I think that, because she has children as well, 420 00:24:40,820 --> 00:24:44,220 people are like, "That's setting a bad example for your kids." 421 00:24:44,220 --> 00:24:45,860 But we don't mind. 422 00:24:45,860 --> 00:24:47,900 Well, I don't mind anyway. 423 00:24:47,900 --> 00:24:51,780 She's come from, like, not having a lot 424 00:24:51,780 --> 00:24:55,860 to having everything that she needs, and a lot more. So... 425 00:24:57,020 --> 00:24:59,060 ..yeah, really proud of her. 426 00:25:00,300 --> 00:25:02,100 She seems like she's a really good mum. 427 00:25:02,100 --> 00:25:04,740 She is. She is a really good mum. 428 00:25:11,300 --> 00:25:13,260 Bring me your Lego box. 429 00:25:13,260 --> 00:25:15,100 What? What Lego box? 430 00:25:15,100 --> 00:25:16,540 I left Victoria, 431 00:25:16,540 --> 00:25:20,340 struck by the contrast between a happy and stable home 432 00:25:20,340 --> 00:25:23,580 and the way that many would view the work that was underpinning it. 433 00:25:34,300 --> 00:25:37,060 It's hard to know how much the cost of selling sex 434 00:25:37,060 --> 00:25:39,700 stems from the sense of judgment it brings with it... 435 00:25:41,740 --> 00:25:43,940 ..but it's been suggested that younger people 436 00:25:43,940 --> 00:25:45,780 may take a less critical view. 437 00:25:48,020 --> 00:25:51,500 I wondered what Ashley's friends thought about her lifestyle, 438 00:25:51,500 --> 00:25:54,540 and so had arranged to meet some of them at a parent's house, 439 00:25:54,540 --> 00:25:57,220 where they were discussing a joint art project. 440 00:25:59,020 --> 00:26:05,100 We wanted to show the extremes of, like, the sex work stuff. 441 00:26:05,100 --> 00:26:06,940 Luisa is our designer. 442 00:26:06,940 --> 00:26:09,740 I've been brought on... Costumes. ..just to do costumes. Yeah. 443 00:26:09,740 --> 00:26:10,940 I'm not performing. 444 00:26:10,940 --> 00:26:14,780 Are you curious how, um... how Ashley's found it so far? 445 00:26:14,780 --> 00:26:16,700 The sex work? 446 00:26:16,700 --> 00:26:17,900 Yeah, kind of. 447 00:26:17,900 --> 00:26:19,540 I mean, I presume you're happy. 448 00:26:19,540 --> 00:26:21,980 Yeah, I'm fine. Yeah. There you go. 449 00:26:21,980 --> 00:26:24,980 If I was upset, they'd both be able to tell, for one. 450 00:26:24,980 --> 00:26:27,380 And, like, they just won't pry. 451 00:26:27,380 --> 00:26:29,860 Like, if I say I'm fine, they know that's just it - I'm fine. 452 00:26:29,860 --> 00:26:32,660 They don't need to ask questions. So they're both very supportive. 453 00:26:32,660 --> 00:26:34,460 And I've fucked her over millions of times. 454 00:26:34,460 --> 00:26:36,620 So many times. I've been so horrible to her in the past. 455 00:26:36,620 --> 00:26:39,820 I think a lot of people in your life have, like, come against a struggle 456 00:26:39,820 --> 00:26:42,020 or something that's difficult about your friendship 457 00:26:42,020 --> 00:26:43,180 and just cut you off. 458 00:26:43,180 --> 00:26:45,460 And just been like, "Do you know what? I don't need it." 459 00:26:45,460 --> 00:26:47,780 Are you saying that a friendship with Ashley 460 00:26:47,780 --> 00:26:49,780 comes with a certain amount of drama? 461 00:26:49,780 --> 00:26:51,260 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. THEY LAUGH 462 00:26:51,260 --> 00:26:53,060 Hell yeah. That's putting it lightly. 463 00:26:53,060 --> 00:26:55,340 No, no. That's like... That's a teaspoon. 464 00:26:55,340 --> 00:26:57,620 Oh, some person in one of my other friendship groups 465 00:26:57,620 --> 00:27:01,180 that I'm friends with has decided to book me for his birthday. 466 00:27:01,180 --> 00:27:04,620 So I'm going to have sex with, like, one of my friends for his birthday. 467 00:27:04,620 --> 00:27:07,420 It sounds potentially quite confusing, 468 00:27:07,420 --> 00:27:09,420 I would have thought. No? 469 00:27:09,420 --> 00:27:11,380 What's confusing? ASHLEY LAUGHS 470 00:27:11,380 --> 00:27:12,700 HE SIGHS 471 00:27:12,700 --> 00:27:14,580 I don't know. He's just my friend, 472 00:27:14,580 --> 00:27:16,780 who's going to come around and have sex on his birthday. 473 00:27:16,780 --> 00:27:18,740 I'm offering a service, he wants the service, 474 00:27:18,740 --> 00:27:21,860 and that's how it's going, and nothing's going to come of it. 475 00:27:21,860 --> 00:27:23,700 It's actually better doing it this way 476 00:27:23,700 --> 00:27:28,460 because if there wasn't an exchange happening, like, financially, 477 00:27:28,460 --> 00:27:31,220 then that would be more confusing, surely. Yeah. 478 00:27:31,220 --> 00:27:34,500 And then afterwards he'll go back to being your friend? Yeah. 479 00:27:34,500 --> 00:27:37,300 I guess that... I guess that can work. Yeah. I don't know. 480 00:27:37,300 --> 00:27:40,420 I mean, that's sex. That's kind of what our generation are like anyway. 481 00:27:40,420 --> 00:27:43,500 Really? I mean, if you look in many friendship groups, 482 00:27:43,500 --> 00:27:45,700 most people have had sex with each other. 483 00:27:45,700 --> 00:27:48,100 Not every friendship group, like, definitely. 484 00:27:48,100 --> 00:27:50,620 Yeah. It's what happens. But I think sex now, 485 00:27:50,620 --> 00:27:56,060 even compared to, like, 20 years ago is just so liberal. 486 00:27:56,060 --> 00:28:00,660 Like, just like... And, like, quite meaningless to a lot of people. 487 00:28:00,660 --> 00:28:04,060 Dating apps have come almost to fill the need 488 00:28:04,060 --> 00:28:08,180 of how we have sex with each other in these days. 489 00:28:08,180 --> 00:28:10,940 How long do you think you're going to do it for? 490 00:28:10,940 --> 00:28:14,260 I can't see myself in the future having a real job. 491 00:28:14,260 --> 00:28:16,700 A real job - I mean, like a nine-to-five, 492 00:28:16,700 --> 00:28:18,300 is what I mean when I say real job. 493 00:28:18,300 --> 00:28:20,580 Like "standard", as in nine-to-five. 494 00:28:20,580 --> 00:28:23,380 Just because of, like, my head. 495 00:28:23,380 --> 00:28:27,180 If I was making enough money from just doing art stuff, then fab. 496 00:28:27,180 --> 00:28:30,540 But, like, I'm fine working like everyone else to get my money 497 00:28:30,540 --> 00:28:33,180 to pay for things. I don't expect it to be given to me. 498 00:28:34,380 --> 00:28:36,420 It's good, isn't it? 499 00:28:36,420 --> 00:28:38,460 ASHLEY LAUGHS 500 00:28:38,460 --> 00:28:43,100 It was reassuring to see Ashley in the midst of a caring peer group. 501 00:28:43,100 --> 00:28:44,780 I was struck by their view 502 00:28:44,780 --> 00:28:47,820 that sex was something that could be freely traded 503 00:28:47,820 --> 00:28:52,460 between acquaintances and strangers without consequences. 504 00:28:52,460 --> 00:28:54,100 Though I also had the impression 505 00:28:54,100 --> 00:28:56,540 of them wanting to make a show of support 506 00:28:56,540 --> 00:28:59,140 for a friend they viewed as a little bit vulnerable. 507 00:29:07,340 --> 00:29:09,780 For those who are close to someone selling sex, 508 00:29:09,780 --> 00:29:12,580 I could only imagine there must be a balance between, 509 00:29:12,580 --> 00:29:15,220 on the one hand, respecting their choice 510 00:29:15,220 --> 00:29:17,260 and, on the other, wanting to save them 511 00:29:17,260 --> 00:29:19,940 from a lifestyle many still view as damaging. 512 00:29:21,540 --> 00:29:24,540 And for those in a committed relationship, even more so. 513 00:29:26,500 --> 00:29:29,460 In West Sussex, I was back with Caroline and Graham. 514 00:29:31,020 --> 00:29:32,780 Is that all right for you, Louis? 515 00:29:32,780 --> 00:29:35,900 Une noisette pour vous. Merci beaucoup. 516 00:29:35,900 --> 00:29:37,500 Ca va. 517 00:29:37,500 --> 00:29:39,180 Mmm. No idea what that meant. 518 00:29:40,420 --> 00:29:42,220 What time is the client coming? 519 00:29:42,220 --> 00:29:44,860 He's coming at ten. 520 00:29:44,860 --> 00:29:47,420 What can you tell me about him? 521 00:29:47,420 --> 00:29:50,740 Um, nice guy. 522 00:29:50,740 --> 00:29:52,580 Middle aged. Mm-hm. 523 00:29:52,580 --> 00:29:55,180 Meaning 60? 50? 524 00:29:55,180 --> 00:29:56,860 Um, 50s. Mm-hm. 525 00:29:56,860 --> 00:30:00,100 He's someone you've...? I've met him quite a few times. 526 00:30:00,100 --> 00:30:01,940 He's a regular? He's a regular, yeah. 527 00:30:03,260 --> 00:30:05,780 One other thing I wanted to just, um... 528 00:30:07,820 --> 00:30:11,900 ..say is, there's a song where the words really struck me 529 00:30:11,900 --> 00:30:15,140 and are quite meaningful to me personally. 530 00:30:15,140 --> 00:30:17,140 So I'll just quickly read them through. 531 00:30:18,420 --> 00:30:19,980 "Run away," they say 532 00:30:19,980 --> 00:30:22,580 No-one will love you as you are 533 00:30:22,580 --> 00:30:25,500 But I won't let them break me down to dust 534 00:30:25,500 --> 00:30:27,420 I know that there's a place for us 535 00:30:27,420 --> 00:30:28,980 For we are glorious... 536 00:30:28,980 --> 00:30:31,580 It's making me all emotional. Why's that? 537 00:30:31,580 --> 00:30:33,420 When the... Why's that, babe? Come on, just... 538 00:30:33,420 --> 00:30:35,740 Let me just finish it. OK, sorry. 539 00:30:35,740 --> 00:30:37,420 I am bruised 540 00:30:37,420 --> 00:30:39,580 I am who I'm meant to be 541 00:30:39,580 --> 00:30:40,540 This is me 542 00:30:41,940 --> 00:30:44,380 Look out, cos here I come 543 00:30:45,620 --> 00:30:48,860 And I'm marching on to the beat I drum 544 00:30:48,860 --> 00:30:50,700 I'm not scared to be seen 545 00:30:50,700 --> 00:30:52,420 I make no apologies 546 00:30:52,420 --> 00:30:54,260 This is me. 547 00:30:54,260 --> 00:30:56,180 And... Sorry. 548 00:30:56,180 --> 00:30:57,140 SHE SNIFFS 549 00:30:58,540 --> 00:30:59,860 You were great. 550 00:30:59,860 --> 00:31:01,820 Why does that mean something to you? 551 00:31:01,820 --> 00:31:03,500 Hm? Cos, um... 552 00:31:06,140 --> 00:31:12,020 ..basically, for most of my life, I've hidden myself away and, um... 553 00:31:13,260 --> 00:31:19,220 ..I have not wanted to be in the foreground at all. 554 00:31:19,220 --> 00:31:23,140 And I feel like, you know, this sort of sexual freedom 555 00:31:23,140 --> 00:31:26,340 that I've moved into is the real me. 556 00:31:37,060 --> 00:31:40,060 So, when I'm around, I'll often do this. 557 00:31:43,660 --> 00:31:45,340 Well, I know the dress I like. 558 00:31:45,340 --> 00:31:47,940 From what you've told me about him, he'll like that. 559 00:31:50,340 --> 00:31:51,820 SHE SIGHS I'm ready. 560 00:31:53,260 --> 00:31:55,820 Well, you have a great time. 561 00:31:55,820 --> 00:31:57,140 Enjoy yourself. 562 00:32:00,780 --> 00:32:02,620 With the client en route, 563 00:32:02,620 --> 00:32:05,900 Graham and I left for a local pub to give them some space. 564 00:32:07,340 --> 00:32:10,460 It would also be a chance to talk to him about his marriage. 565 00:32:12,420 --> 00:32:14,020 When, um... 566 00:32:14,020 --> 00:32:17,220 When she became a little bit emotional back at the house, 567 00:32:17,220 --> 00:32:19,660 what was behind that? 568 00:32:19,660 --> 00:32:22,300 She was brought up to believe that women should be seen... 569 00:32:22,300 --> 00:32:25,740 Well, probably not even seen. Not seen and not heard. 570 00:32:25,740 --> 00:32:27,180 And that was her upbringing, 571 00:32:27,180 --> 00:32:31,300 and she just carried it on into her adult life. 572 00:32:31,300 --> 00:32:35,500 I knew, for example, sexually, she was pretty, um... 573 00:32:35,500 --> 00:32:37,900 ..suppressed, to put it mildly. So that was an issue. 574 00:32:37,900 --> 00:32:39,420 Meaning what? 575 00:32:39,420 --> 00:32:42,580 Well, she just didn't want to have sex. At all? No. 576 00:32:42,580 --> 00:32:43,780 So, if I'd been different, 577 00:32:43,780 --> 00:32:46,260 I would have probably been a guy who would go and see escorts. 578 00:32:46,260 --> 00:32:49,540 So I kept on thinking, you know, "How can I...? 579 00:32:49,540 --> 00:32:51,980 "How can I initiate her? How can I...? 580 00:32:51,980 --> 00:32:54,300 "Maybe she might change." 581 00:32:54,300 --> 00:32:57,700 I never dreamt that Caroline would take it this far. 582 00:32:57,700 --> 00:32:59,260 Really? Oh, never. 583 00:32:59,260 --> 00:33:01,420 No, I didn't have the endgame in mind 584 00:33:01,420 --> 00:33:04,580 that the final part of this is where Caroline would be an escort. 585 00:33:04,580 --> 00:33:07,780 It sounds as though, having sort of nudged her along the way, 586 00:33:07,780 --> 00:33:11,060 now she's taken off like a rocket. 587 00:33:11,060 --> 00:33:16,140 And you're now in the position, slightly paradoxically, of, um... 588 00:33:17,340 --> 00:33:20,940 ..being less certain about where you are. 589 00:33:20,940 --> 00:33:24,540 Yes. If we've had a row or if things haven't gone right, 590 00:33:24,540 --> 00:33:28,260 or if I feel that I haven't been thought of 591 00:33:28,260 --> 00:33:31,460 or considered in some way or another, 592 00:33:31,460 --> 00:33:35,820 then I can feel something negative coming out of me. 593 00:33:35,820 --> 00:33:39,300 Or I can feel maybe a bit jealous or a bit irritated. 594 00:33:39,300 --> 00:33:43,100 It's... About what? What she's doing, sometimes. 595 00:33:43,100 --> 00:33:45,220 Having sex with another guy? Yeah. 596 00:33:45,220 --> 00:33:46,820 We'd have these great big flare-ups, 597 00:33:46,820 --> 00:33:49,460 but, of course, then I would threaten... 598 00:33:49,460 --> 00:33:51,900 You know, it'd be the end of our sexually free lifestyle, 599 00:33:51,900 --> 00:33:55,300 the end of everything. And then, of course... 600 00:33:56,780 --> 00:33:58,460 ..four hours later, we'll be fine. 601 00:33:59,820 --> 00:34:01,860 I want her to be absolutely successful 602 00:34:01,860 --> 00:34:05,700 as a woman in her own right cos she's never been in her own right. 603 00:34:05,700 --> 00:34:08,740 I want her to be happy and have pleasure. 604 00:34:08,740 --> 00:34:10,020 I really do. 605 00:34:10,020 --> 00:34:13,500 You know, in every way, not just sexually. 606 00:34:22,180 --> 00:34:23,740 Hello, gorgeous. 607 00:34:23,740 --> 00:34:25,380 How are you? Mm, good. 608 00:34:26,500 --> 00:34:28,580 How was it? Yeah, great, thank you. Yeah. 609 00:34:29,620 --> 00:34:31,060 Great time. 610 00:34:31,060 --> 00:34:32,700 Would you like a glass of wine? 611 00:34:32,700 --> 00:34:35,420 Well, sure, I'll have a little one. Why not? 612 00:34:35,420 --> 00:34:37,340 So it was good, was it? Mm. 613 00:34:37,340 --> 00:34:39,420 Good? Very good? Spectacular? 614 00:34:39,420 --> 00:34:41,460 No, it was... Awful? Professional job? 615 00:34:41,460 --> 00:34:43,060 No, no. It wasn't a professional job. 616 00:34:43,060 --> 00:34:45,460 It was... It was a good time. It was, um... 617 00:34:46,780 --> 00:34:48,620 ..enjoyable. Mm. 618 00:34:59,900 --> 00:35:01,700 Several months into filming 619 00:35:01,700 --> 00:35:04,820 and I was still conflicted about the nature of the transaction 620 00:35:04,820 --> 00:35:07,020 at the heart of the sexual economy. 621 00:35:08,660 --> 00:35:11,900 Whether it was a choice freely made like any other 622 00:35:11,900 --> 00:35:13,740 or a symptom of a society 623 00:35:13,740 --> 00:35:17,580 in which vulnerable women were traded and controlled. 624 00:35:17,580 --> 00:35:18,780 CAMERA CLICKS 625 00:35:18,780 --> 00:35:20,740 That's better - I'm smiling. 626 00:35:20,740 --> 00:35:22,340 CAMERA CLICKS 627 00:35:22,340 --> 00:35:26,460 In Nottingham, Victoria had invited me to a porn shoot she'd organised, 628 00:35:26,460 --> 00:35:30,060 creating online content to sell to fans and clients. 629 00:35:30,060 --> 00:35:31,540 CAMERA CLICKS 630 00:35:31,540 --> 00:35:33,540 OK? Better. 631 00:35:33,540 --> 00:35:36,300 I can tell you're doing a terrific job. Thank you, Louis. 632 00:35:36,300 --> 00:35:38,340 I'm going to go for a medium then a close. 633 00:35:38,340 --> 00:35:40,580 She'd told me of a plan to do more porn 634 00:35:40,580 --> 00:35:43,420 and move away from private bookings. 635 00:35:43,420 --> 00:35:46,260 Did you get that? THEY LAUGH 636 00:35:46,260 --> 00:35:49,900 You prefer the porn over the escorting, don't you? 637 00:35:49,900 --> 00:35:53,220 Yeah. I don't have to be so close and personal to people. 638 00:35:53,220 --> 00:35:55,500 Yeah. Yeah. 639 00:35:55,500 --> 00:35:57,180 Give less of yourself. 640 00:35:57,180 --> 00:36:00,140 Yeah, yeah, definitely. 641 00:36:00,140 --> 00:36:02,380 And I'm just wondering whether, 642 00:36:02,380 --> 00:36:05,340 just in general as a sensual experience, 643 00:36:05,340 --> 00:36:07,340 leaving the professionalism to one side, 644 00:36:07,340 --> 00:36:09,340 whether it's pleasurable. 645 00:36:09,340 --> 00:36:11,060 Um, yeah. It can be. 646 00:36:12,420 --> 00:36:14,060 Just not today. 647 00:36:14,060 --> 00:36:16,300 It can... No... HE LAUGHS 648 00:36:16,300 --> 00:36:20,620 It's so hard for me to answer this question because it's... 649 00:36:23,020 --> 00:36:25,420 Oh, it's sex - I do it all day, every day. 650 00:36:32,380 --> 00:36:35,100 Loitering on set, I reflected on the paradox 651 00:36:35,100 --> 00:36:39,340 of leveraging the after-effects of trauma into financial opportunity... 652 00:36:41,100 --> 00:36:43,700 ..and whether it represented a kind of power, 653 00:36:43,700 --> 00:36:45,500 or its opposite. 654 00:36:59,940 --> 00:37:01,300 The same new websites 655 00:37:01,300 --> 00:37:04,900 that have induced some women to enter the sexual marketplace 656 00:37:04,900 --> 00:37:07,500 are also bringing that world to clients 657 00:37:07,500 --> 00:37:10,100 who, in the past, might never have thought of doing it. 658 00:37:12,180 --> 00:37:15,220 In Croydon, South London, I was meeting Hugh. 659 00:37:15,220 --> 00:37:17,700 Hello. Hi. How are you? Fine, thank you. 660 00:37:17,700 --> 00:37:18,860 Louis. Nice to meet you. 661 00:37:18,860 --> 00:37:23,260 At age 16, Hugh had been diagnosed with muscular dystrophy. 662 00:37:23,260 --> 00:37:25,380 He lost his virginity at 30, 663 00:37:25,380 --> 00:37:28,540 but, after that, his sexual experiences had dwindled away. 664 00:37:28,540 --> 00:37:31,220 Can I make you one? By all means, yes. 665 00:37:35,140 --> 00:37:37,580 You don't have kids, is that right? No. Never been married? 666 00:37:37,580 --> 00:37:39,580 Never been married, no. Not interested? 667 00:37:39,580 --> 00:37:42,140 I know people say, "He never met the right person." 668 00:37:42,140 --> 00:37:44,260 But, yeah, I just never met... 669 00:37:44,260 --> 00:37:46,860 ..someone who would have me. HE CHUCKLES 670 00:37:46,860 --> 00:37:49,540 I mean, in the perfect world, I-I... 671 00:37:49,540 --> 00:37:50,980 I've always wanted a... 672 00:37:52,780 --> 00:37:55,940 It seems unfair, but I've always wanted an able-bodied girlfriend 673 00:37:55,940 --> 00:37:59,220 or not so disabled that she couldn't... 674 00:37:59,220 --> 00:38:01,500 ..well, get on top, essentially. 675 00:38:06,100 --> 00:38:08,020 OK? Yeah. 676 00:38:08,020 --> 00:38:10,700 Hugh had an appointment that evening - 677 00:38:10,700 --> 00:38:12,660 a carer arrived to get him ready. 678 00:38:15,380 --> 00:38:16,900 One year earlier, 679 00:38:16,900 --> 00:38:19,980 Hugh had set up an account on the main sex industry website. 680 00:38:23,820 --> 00:38:25,660 How's it going in there? 681 00:38:25,660 --> 00:38:27,940 Well, thank you, yeah. 682 00:38:27,940 --> 00:38:29,980 You'd like to look your best for your date? 683 00:38:29,980 --> 00:38:31,940 HUGH LAUGHS Yes. 684 00:38:31,940 --> 00:38:35,140 My-my-my...appointment. 685 00:38:35,140 --> 00:38:38,460 How many women have you seen since you started? 686 00:38:38,460 --> 00:38:39,940 Nine. 687 00:38:39,940 --> 00:38:42,140 The eldest, 51. 688 00:38:42,140 --> 00:38:44,180 Youngest was about 21. 689 00:38:49,060 --> 00:38:53,540 Was there a moment, or something that prompted you to take that step? 690 00:38:53,540 --> 00:38:58,420 I think it was the realisation I was getting to a certain age 691 00:38:58,420 --> 00:39:01,420 and that if I didn't do drastic action, 692 00:39:01,420 --> 00:39:06,100 I'd go to my grave never having sex again. Mm. 693 00:39:07,460 --> 00:39:12,020 Can you characterise for me how much it's meant to you? 694 00:39:12,020 --> 00:39:14,860 I mean, it's pleasurable, it's expensive, 695 00:39:14,860 --> 00:39:16,940 it doesn't ruin my life. 696 00:39:16,940 --> 00:39:19,260 I'd rather have a girlfriend. 697 00:39:20,540 --> 00:39:25,020 But it just hasn't worked out for me, for whatever reason. 698 00:39:25,020 --> 00:39:30,500 Be that my disability, be that my winning personality, I don't know. 699 00:39:33,700 --> 00:39:35,660 I think a lot of women... 700 00:39:37,380 --> 00:39:38,620 ..understandably... 701 00:39:40,060 --> 00:39:44,500 ..see me and put me in the "too complicated" category. 702 00:39:46,540 --> 00:39:49,820 He was seeing someone he'd booked twice before - 703 00:39:49,820 --> 00:39:52,420 a woman selling sex to supplement her income. 704 00:39:53,860 --> 00:39:56,940 Would you say you've got to know each other a little bit? 705 00:39:56,940 --> 00:40:00,020 I enjoy her company very much. 706 00:40:00,020 --> 00:40:02,580 But you have to be realistic, don't you? Yeah. 707 00:40:02,580 --> 00:40:04,540 About what's actually taking place. 708 00:40:04,540 --> 00:40:06,020 Exactly. Which is what? 709 00:40:08,460 --> 00:40:10,100 Which is what? 710 00:40:10,100 --> 00:40:15,180 We're enjoying each other's company in exchange for money. 711 00:40:16,340 --> 00:40:19,660 I think I would be less happy... 712 00:40:21,060 --> 00:40:23,540 ..if I hadn't explored this avenue. 713 00:40:25,700 --> 00:40:28,180 But, um...probably... 714 00:40:29,180 --> 00:40:31,380 Well, I feel better for it, yes. Mm. 715 00:40:32,740 --> 00:40:35,900 There's a little bit of guilt. 716 00:40:35,900 --> 00:40:40,140 I suppose paying for it was an admission of failure on my part. 717 00:40:44,620 --> 00:40:47,300 I wasn't sure how to judge Hugh's choice. 718 00:40:48,500 --> 00:40:53,580 I was conscious of how much I didn't know about the young woman's story. 719 00:40:53,580 --> 00:40:57,260 At the same time, his desire for a life made a little more full 720 00:40:57,260 --> 00:41:01,460 by the ability to buy sex seemed completely understandable. 721 00:41:10,660 --> 00:41:14,620 In my time among women selling sex, the only one for whom the work 722 00:41:14,620 --> 00:41:17,980 was not mainly motivated by money was Caroline. 723 00:41:19,580 --> 00:41:22,260 Caroline had also been the only one to say clearly 724 00:41:22,260 --> 00:41:24,060 she enjoyed sex with clients. 725 00:41:25,460 --> 00:41:27,180 Hello. 726 00:41:27,180 --> 00:41:29,020 Going to find my friends downstairs. 727 00:41:30,780 --> 00:41:34,020 Hi. Nice to see you. You too. 728 00:41:34,020 --> 00:41:37,260 But even with all the time we'd spent together, there were aspects 729 00:41:37,260 --> 00:41:40,900 of her relationship with Graham I didn't really understand. 730 00:41:40,900 --> 00:41:43,940 Hoping to find out more, I was meeting them again. 731 00:41:43,940 --> 00:41:46,780 There's something I wanted to show you. 732 00:41:46,780 --> 00:41:48,860 Go on. 733 00:41:48,860 --> 00:41:51,100 Hot Wives. Yeah. You've got two there. 734 00:41:51,100 --> 00:41:53,300 And who have we got here? 735 00:41:53,300 --> 00:41:55,540 She looks familiar. SHE LAUGHS 736 00:41:55,540 --> 00:41:57,980 That's you. Yeah. They put me on the cover. 737 00:41:57,980 --> 00:42:01,260 That's nice, isn't it? Yeah. So I'm quite proud of that. 738 00:42:03,340 --> 00:42:07,100 I thought that I could wear one of these. 739 00:42:07,100 --> 00:42:09,740 I like that idea. Or there's this one as well. 740 00:42:09,740 --> 00:42:11,980 Look - got a zip down the front. 741 00:42:15,260 --> 00:42:17,220 How's it going between the two of you? 742 00:42:17,220 --> 00:42:19,300 Up and down. 743 00:42:19,300 --> 00:42:21,340 Are you in a good place? 744 00:42:21,340 --> 00:42:23,140 Um... HE CLEARS HIS THROAT 745 00:42:23,140 --> 00:42:25,940 Yes and no. It depends what time of the day you catch me. 746 00:42:25,940 --> 00:42:28,260 But, I mean, how much of any of this 747 00:42:28,260 --> 00:42:32,580 is to do with either insecurity or mixed feelings 748 00:42:32,580 --> 00:42:36,980 or jealousy around Caroline's work? 749 00:42:36,980 --> 00:42:41,540 Do you know, generally, I don't think it's that. 750 00:42:41,540 --> 00:42:45,380 The best way I can say it, for me... 751 00:42:45,380 --> 00:42:47,260 LOCK CLICKS ..is that... 752 00:42:48,740 --> 00:42:50,220 To be continued. 753 00:42:52,980 --> 00:42:54,620 Whuh-oh! GRAHAM LAUGHS 754 00:42:54,620 --> 00:42:56,380 Police! 755 00:42:56,380 --> 00:42:58,500 Now, we always need to do the feel test. 756 00:42:58,500 --> 00:43:01,540 It's an important part. Yeah. So... What do you think? 757 00:43:01,540 --> 00:43:04,420 Do you like the feel? Oh, I like that. It's nice and smooth. 758 00:43:04,420 --> 00:43:05,620 I'll have a walk around. 759 00:43:07,420 --> 00:43:09,380 You look gorgeous. 760 00:43:11,300 --> 00:43:13,460 Yeah, I like it. Great. OK. We'll get this. 761 00:43:18,220 --> 00:43:19,780 I think I've probably spent half my life 762 00:43:19,780 --> 00:43:21,340 standing outside changing rooms. 763 00:43:21,340 --> 00:43:24,140 What were you going to say before we were interrupted? 764 00:43:24,140 --> 00:43:26,500 I want more attention from her. 765 00:43:27,540 --> 00:43:28,780 I would just like to spend 766 00:43:28,780 --> 00:43:32,380 more intimate communication time with Caroline. 767 00:43:32,380 --> 00:43:34,220 And that's something I didn't think through - 768 00:43:34,220 --> 00:43:35,860 it's started to develop inside me. 769 00:43:47,060 --> 00:43:49,900 At a nearby coffee shop, the conversation moved on 770 00:43:49,900 --> 00:43:52,860 to the subject of Caroline's childhood. 771 00:43:54,060 --> 00:43:59,980 My upbringing was quite Victorian, but also mixed with religion. 772 00:44:01,100 --> 00:44:05,900 I was brought up to believe that sex was dirty, it was wrong. 773 00:44:05,900 --> 00:44:10,980 I went into our marriage with, I think, the same attitude. 774 00:44:10,980 --> 00:44:13,660 And you feel that, having led this life, 775 00:44:13,660 --> 00:44:16,020 or certainly had this upbringing, 776 00:44:16,020 --> 00:44:18,820 where men were dictating what you should do... Yeah. 777 00:44:18,820 --> 00:44:21,460 ..you feel that, now, this is very different. 778 00:44:21,460 --> 00:44:24,820 You are calling the shots, deciding what you want to do. 779 00:44:24,820 --> 00:44:27,140 Absolutely. Yes. Yeah. 780 00:44:27,140 --> 00:44:32,100 There's been a process, over the last few years particularly... 781 00:44:33,740 --> 00:44:38,100 ..that I've really been discovering who I am 782 00:44:38,100 --> 00:44:41,100 and what I want and need. 783 00:44:41,100 --> 00:44:43,260 And the experience I've had with other men 784 00:44:43,260 --> 00:44:46,740 helps me have a better sex life with Graham. 785 00:44:48,180 --> 00:44:52,020 You're quite happy with your sex life with Caroline? 786 00:44:52,020 --> 00:44:56,420 She's everything I think I want and dream of, 787 00:44:56,420 --> 00:45:00,140 which is not something I would've said a few years ago. 788 00:45:02,300 --> 00:45:04,460 Forgive me for pushing a certain idea, 789 00:45:04,460 --> 00:45:06,060 and I just want to get it out there, 790 00:45:06,060 --> 00:45:08,860 but do you think there's a sense in which, you know, 791 00:45:08,860 --> 00:45:11,580 this was a sort of fantasy that you had? 792 00:45:11,580 --> 00:45:13,380 I'm as surprised as... 793 00:45:14,820 --> 00:45:17,620 ..as anybody could be, as to where we've landed up, 794 00:45:17,620 --> 00:45:20,060 and where Caroline's ended up. Mm. 795 00:45:20,060 --> 00:45:23,740 Being an escort was entirely my choice, 796 00:45:23,740 --> 00:45:27,700 and Graham never at any point told me I needed to be, 797 00:45:27,700 --> 00:45:29,620 or anything like that. 798 00:45:29,620 --> 00:45:32,300 I'm proud of her, and I think it's amazing, 799 00:45:32,300 --> 00:45:34,140 and I constantly want to be sure 800 00:45:34,140 --> 00:45:36,380 that she's doing what she wants to do. Mm. 801 00:45:38,500 --> 00:45:41,220 I worry far more about that than maybe you know. 802 00:45:41,220 --> 00:45:44,580 Yeah. That you really want to do this. Yeah. 803 00:45:44,580 --> 00:45:46,260 Well, some days I don't. 804 00:45:46,260 --> 00:45:48,620 Some days I wake up and I... 805 00:45:48,620 --> 00:45:51,540 I don't really feel like doing that today. 806 00:45:51,540 --> 00:45:52,980 Um... 807 00:45:52,980 --> 00:45:55,580 ..but then, at the same time, 808 00:45:55,580 --> 00:45:57,660 I think, well... 809 00:45:57,660 --> 00:46:04,300 ..you know, I want to be committed to doing a good job, 810 00:46:04,300 --> 00:46:07,860 and I don't have anything else to do. 811 00:46:07,860 --> 00:46:11,300 So, you know, I'll do it! 812 00:46:11,300 --> 00:46:14,260 But then in the process of that, I'll enjoy it 813 00:46:14,260 --> 00:46:16,220 so then I'll get into it. 814 00:46:21,820 --> 00:46:23,060 It was incongruous, 815 00:46:23,060 --> 00:46:26,300 but Caroline seemed to have gained a sense of self 816 00:46:26,300 --> 00:46:29,140 from embracing a role as a sexual commodity. 817 00:46:31,340 --> 00:46:35,460 Controlled in her childhood and now finding satisfaction 818 00:46:35,460 --> 00:46:39,460 fulfilling the desires of men on terms that were more her own. 819 00:46:44,620 --> 00:46:48,460 Graham, for his part, seemed happy to endure some insecurity 820 00:46:48,460 --> 00:46:52,300 as the price of a more sexually adventurous marriage. 821 00:46:58,820 --> 00:47:02,780 In a way, Caroline's age and maturity were reassuring. 822 00:47:02,780 --> 00:47:04,780 It was with those who were younger 823 00:47:04,780 --> 00:47:08,300 that I found myself tempted to take a more protective attitude. 824 00:47:09,380 --> 00:47:11,780 At a pub near her flat in South West London, 825 00:47:11,780 --> 00:47:13,300 I was meeting Ashley. 826 00:47:13,300 --> 00:47:14,820 Louis! 827 00:47:14,820 --> 00:47:16,340 Hello! 828 00:47:16,340 --> 00:47:17,900 How are you? Good, how are you? 829 00:47:17,900 --> 00:47:20,220 I'm OK. Sorry, I'm a bit sweaty, cos I'm like... 830 00:47:20,220 --> 00:47:22,380 You've changed your hair again. I know! 831 00:47:22,380 --> 00:47:24,140 Wow. But I look great. Nice to see you. 832 00:47:24,140 --> 00:47:25,860 Nice to see you. How are you? Good. Good. 833 00:47:25,860 --> 00:47:27,620 Let's go inside. Have you had a haircut? 834 00:47:27,620 --> 00:47:29,860 Yes, I'm afraid so. Looks great. 835 00:47:33,660 --> 00:47:36,380 You know I asked you to bring some photos. Yeah. 836 00:47:36,380 --> 00:47:38,580 Did you bring them? Yeah, I brought my baby photos. 837 00:47:39,900 --> 00:47:43,700 Aww, so cute. I know! I'm so cute. 838 00:47:43,700 --> 00:47:46,540 Your parents were very young when they had you. Yeah, so, 839 00:47:46,540 --> 00:47:48,500 I think my mum got pregnant at 15. 840 00:47:48,500 --> 00:47:51,540 Really? Had me... But it wasn't like your dad was much older, though? 841 00:47:51,540 --> 00:47:54,020 No, I think my dad was 16. 842 00:47:54,020 --> 00:47:55,500 So, that's your dad. That's my dad. 843 00:47:55,500 --> 00:47:57,300 He looks like a child himself. 844 00:47:57,300 --> 00:48:00,260 1995, my dude. Was it '95? 845 00:48:00,260 --> 00:48:01,620 That's when I was born. 846 00:48:01,620 --> 00:48:03,900 But they didn't stay together that long, is that right? 847 00:48:03,900 --> 00:48:06,500 Yeah, they stayed together till I was about three or four, I think. 848 00:48:06,500 --> 00:48:07,860 So, three or four years. Yeah. 849 00:48:07,860 --> 00:48:10,780 I don't ever remember them being together. 850 00:48:10,780 --> 00:48:14,660 He wasn't the most...the kindest man when I was growing up, 851 00:48:14,660 --> 00:48:16,740 or the most supportive. 852 00:48:16,740 --> 00:48:19,580 And I've tried so hard to form a relationship with my dad. 853 00:48:19,580 --> 00:48:22,100 Like, so hard, for so many years, 854 00:48:22,100 --> 00:48:24,180 and I just - I'm not doing it any more. 855 00:48:24,180 --> 00:48:27,860 I've given up, cos it's heartbreaking to try. 856 00:48:27,860 --> 00:48:29,020 Do you know what I mean? 857 00:48:29,020 --> 00:48:32,820 It's almost a cliche of women involved in sex work 858 00:48:32,820 --> 00:48:37,500 that they have complicated or strained relationships... 859 00:48:37,500 --> 00:48:38,780 With their father. 860 00:48:38,780 --> 00:48:40,660 I don't know if it is, completely. 861 00:48:40,660 --> 00:48:42,460 I can only speak for myself. 862 00:48:42,460 --> 00:48:45,540 I'm so desperate for people to, like...not even like me, 863 00:48:45,540 --> 00:48:47,900 just, like, acknowledge my existence, 864 00:48:47,900 --> 00:48:50,980 and I think that I only see my existence 865 00:48:50,980 --> 00:48:53,380 as a sum of my, like... 866 00:48:53,380 --> 00:48:55,820 The pleasure that I can give other people. 867 00:48:55,820 --> 00:48:57,620 No-one wants to be around me just for who I am. 868 00:48:57,620 --> 00:49:00,140 People want to be around me for what I can give to them. 869 00:49:00,140 --> 00:49:02,700 And, like, for most men, what I can give to them is sex. 870 00:49:04,340 --> 00:49:06,020 Between the ages of six to twelve, 871 00:49:06,020 --> 00:49:08,820 I was sexually abused by someone that was really close to me. 872 00:49:08,820 --> 00:49:12,980 So, I think I...I'm just very hypersexualised because of that, 873 00:49:12,980 --> 00:49:15,700 and I just value a lot of my, like... 874 00:49:15,700 --> 00:49:17,540 That was the time that I felt wanted, 875 00:49:17,540 --> 00:49:19,740 because they didn't care about me otherwise. 876 00:49:22,180 --> 00:49:24,580 Oh, it was really rough. 877 00:49:24,580 --> 00:49:26,380 It was really, really, really rough. 878 00:49:26,380 --> 00:49:28,100 And then when he stopped, 879 00:49:28,100 --> 00:49:30,820 I basically just assumed that he hated me. 880 00:49:30,820 --> 00:49:31,980 Does that make sense? 881 00:49:31,980 --> 00:49:34,260 So, then, when he stopped, it made... 882 00:49:34,260 --> 00:49:36,820 It just made everything worse, basically. 883 00:49:36,820 --> 00:49:38,260 Sorry. 884 00:49:39,500 --> 00:49:41,980 But I'm over it, I think. 885 00:49:44,060 --> 00:49:45,540 I say that as I cry. 886 00:49:45,540 --> 00:49:46,820 I'm over it. It's fine. 887 00:49:46,820 --> 00:49:48,700 Like, it happens. Shit happens. 888 00:49:48,700 --> 00:49:51,340 You just have to try and turn that into something 889 00:49:51,340 --> 00:49:53,700 that you can make yourself a better person with. 890 00:49:53,700 --> 00:49:56,740 So I'm using that experience to not let myself be in situations 891 00:49:56,740 --> 00:49:59,380 where I'm going to feel vulnerable and feel like my self-worth 892 00:49:59,380 --> 00:50:02,060 is down to my sexual actions. 893 00:50:02,060 --> 00:50:04,020 Does that make sense? 894 00:50:05,420 --> 00:50:07,460 Are you all right? Yeah, I'm honestly fine. OK. 895 00:50:07,460 --> 00:50:09,540 I'm just a big crier. Sorry. 896 00:50:11,180 --> 00:50:15,620 What occurs to me is that you've got a lot going on inside your head. Mm. 897 00:50:15,620 --> 00:50:18,060 I've heard you say more than once 898 00:50:18,060 --> 00:50:24,340 that you don't appreciate a sort of...saviour mentality. No. 899 00:50:24,340 --> 00:50:26,820 And I think I respect you too much 900 00:50:26,820 --> 00:50:30,340 to presume to judge your choices, right? Yeah. 901 00:50:30,340 --> 00:50:34,100 But at the same time, I'm also aware that with everything going on, 902 00:50:34,100 --> 00:50:36,380 it's actually screaming out, isn't it? Yeah. 903 00:50:36,380 --> 00:50:39,020 That's true. The fact that you've embraced a kind of work 904 00:50:39,020 --> 00:50:44,620 that involves a lot of emotional and physical self exposure. 905 00:50:44,620 --> 00:50:47,140 Yeah, 100%. You must have thought about that a lot. 906 00:50:47,140 --> 00:50:49,700 Definitely, and I think that because I was just so used to it, 907 00:50:49,700 --> 00:50:51,500 I don't see it as a big deal. Right. 908 00:50:51,500 --> 00:50:54,220 Because... Which doesn't necessarily mean it isn't a big deal. 909 00:50:54,220 --> 00:50:55,460 Yeah, exactly. 910 00:50:55,460 --> 00:50:59,900 Is there part of you that's wondering whether... 911 00:50:59,900 --> 00:51:02,100 ..it's the right kind of work? 912 00:51:02,100 --> 00:51:03,980 No, I'm fine with the work. 913 00:51:03,980 --> 00:51:06,020 I think it gives you, like, a numbness. 914 00:51:06,020 --> 00:51:10,300 But I think... To it. A numbness - OK, that's a good way of putting. 915 00:51:10,300 --> 00:51:12,580 It's just like, I always say this to my mum, 916 00:51:12,580 --> 00:51:14,580 like, I don't like sex, I like affection 917 00:51:14,580 --> 00:51:17,180 and you get affection from sex, 918 00:51:17,180 --> 00:51:19,540 and I seem to think that's the only way I'm going to get it, 919 00:51:19,540 --> 00:51:21,260 so I'm, like, trapped in this... 920 00:51:21,260 --> 00:51:23,220 But I don't think I'm going to get affection 921 00:51:23,220 --> 00:51:24,500 from these men on AdultWork. 922 00:51:24,500 --> 00:51:27,620 I know for a fact that it's, like, not sustainable, 923 00:51:27,620 --> 00:51:30,020 and I know that that's not going to cure me. 924 00:51:33,020 --> 00:51:34,300 I'm cute, aren't I? 925 00:51:34,300 --> 00:51:36,660 I'm so fat - look at my cheeks! 926 00:51:42,620 --> 00:51:46,460 It seemed clear Ashley was drawn to selling sex, at least in part, 927 00:51:46,460 --> 00:51:49,260 because of a background of abuse and ill treatment. 928 00:51:50,620 --> 00:51:53,700 How her new life would contribute to her recovery 929 00:51:53,700 --> 00:51:56,140 I found almost impossible to know. 930 00:52:02,500 --> 00:52:05,300 More than ever, I was struck by the difficult position 931 00:52:05,300 --> 00:52:07,180 of many of those selling sex, 932 00:52:07,180 --> 00:52:10,580 taking part in an economy viewed by some as immoral 933 00:52:10,580 --> 00:52:13,060 and others as coerced and unhealthy... 934 00:52:14,340 --> 00:52:16,460 ..feeling judged on both sides. 935 00:52:19,020 --> 00:52:21,180 But I was also troubled by the question 936 00:52:21,180 --> 00:52:23,700 of whether they were being completely open with me 937 00:52:23,700 --> 00:52:26,020 about the cost of what they did. 938 00:52:30,060 --> 00:52:32,340 Back in Nottingham for one last visit, 939 00:52:32,340 --> 00:52:36,580 I was with Victoria and Sapphire on an outing to the nail salon. 940 00:52:39,740 --> 00:52:41,100 What shall I have? 941 00:52:41,100 --> 00:52:43,100 Have a blue or something. I don't like blue. 942 00:52:43,100 --> 00:52:44,740 I like blue, it looks nice on you. 943 00:52:44,740 --> 00:52:47,980 Well, not silver, cos you always get silver. 944 00:52:47,980 --> 00:52:49,940 I have to get pink. 945 00:52:51,660 --> 00:52:55,900 I love pink, silver and white, and glitter. 946 00:52:58,060 --> 00:53:00,580 But I think the two of you are quite close, aren't you? 947 00:53:00,580 --> 00:53:02,900 Yeah. Yeah, we're very close, I think. Yeah. 948 00:53:05,060 --> 00:53:07,460 But she's still at that age now where... 949 00:53:08,860 --> 00:53:11,100 ..she's got her own little life 950 00:53:11,100 --> 00:53:13,660 and she wants to go out with her friends, as well. Mm. 951 00:53:13,660 --> 00:53:16,500 Do you think having had the experiences you had growing up, 952 00:53:16,500 --> 00:53:20,260 that that's made you more careful as a mum? 953 00:53:20,260 --> 00:53:22,140 Oh, God, yeah, definitely. 954 00:53:22,140 --> 00:53:23,860 I mean, Sapphire will tell you, 955 00:53:23,860 --> 00:53:26,660 I've put trackers on her phone and everything, haven't I? 956 00:53:26,660 --> 00:53:28,580 You're very protective - 957 00:53:28,580 --> 00:53:30,220 but that's a good thing. 958 00:53:30,220 --> 00:53:32,060 I know I complain about it a lot 959 00:53:32,060 --> 00:53:33,980 but it is a good thing, really, isn't it? 960 00:53:33,980 --> 00:53:35,300 It is, yeah. 961 00:53:35,300 --> 00:53:39,780 In an alternate reality, if Sapphire was a different person, 962 00:53:39,780 --> 00:53:43,180 and wanted to pursue work like you do, 963 00:53:43,180 --> 00:53:46,260 adult work, what would be your view? 964 00:53:46,260 --> 00:53:47,900 No, I wouldn't want that. 965 00:53:47,900 --> 00:53:49,980 You know, of course I wouldn't. 966 00:53:49,980 --> 00:53:51,780 It's just the judgment around it, 967 00:53:51,780 --> 00:53:54,380 especially when everybody else is questioning you 968 00:53:54,380 --> 00:53:58,220 and saying, you know, stuff about you... 969 00:53:58,220 --> 00:53:59,900 Then you're battling with yourself 970 00:53:59,900 --> 00:54:02,940 thinking, "Am I doing the right thing? Am I not?" You know. 971 00:54:02,940 --> 00:54:06,780 I think that's why girls don't last long in this industry, as well. 972 00:54:08,060 --> 00:54:10,340 I guess it's a whole stigma. 973 00:54:11,980 --> 00:54:13,780 Goodbye! 974 00:54:13,780 --> 00:54:15,380 SHE LAUGHS 975 00:54:15,380 --> 00:54:16,940 See ya! Bye! 976 00:54:23,500 --> 00:54:27,580 Driving back, I thought about Victoria's choices. 977 00:54:27,580 --> 00:54:30,340 For all the difficulty they'd created in her life, 978 00:54:30,340 --> 00:54:33,180 it was also true that they'd allowed her to give her children 979 00:54:33,180 --> 00:54:36,420 an upbringing very different from the one she'd had. 980 00:54:42,300 --> 00:54:44,660 Hello. Oh, thank you! 981 00:54:45,740 --> 00:54:46,980 See ya! 982 00:54:49,100 --> 00:54:50,660 Look what we've got! 983 00:54:51,860 --> 00:54:54,740 Wait! Don't all grab. 984 00:54:54,740 --> 00:54:57,780 Don't be rude. I'm going to put it on a plate for you. 985 00:54:57,780 --> 00:55:00,180 They bring you a dipping sauce, as well. 986 00:55:00,180 --> 00:55:01,620 That's quite handy, isn't it? 987 00:55:03,060 --> 00:55:05,260 Come on. Let's go and get you in bed. Shoes off. 988 00:55:06,460 --> 00:55:08,340 Come on, then. Do your teeth. 989 00:55:09,940 --> 00:55:12,060 Do you want a book? Yeah. 990 00:55:12,060 --> 00:55:16,420 "Paw Patrol pups love spending time playing outdoors." 991 00:55:17,620 --> 00:55:18,700 Goodnight. 992 00:55:22,180 --> 00:55:25,380 With the kids in bed, it was a chance to speak more candidly. 993 00:55:27,260 --> 00:55:30,020 You talked about getting out of escorting... 994 00:55:30,020 --> 00:55:33,580 Yeah. ..and just doing adult film and appearances, 995 00:55:33,580 --> 00:55:35,340 things like that. Yeah. 996 00:55:35,340 --> 00:55:37,980 Are you winding it down? 997 00:55:39,220 --> 00:55:42,700 I'm being a lot more picky, yeah. Definitely. 998 00:55:42,700 --> 00:55:46,140 Even, to be honest, on certain shoots and stuff like that. 999 00:55:46,140 --> 00:55:48,260 I've just said, "No, I'm not doing that any more." 1000 00:55:48,260 --> 00:55:49,980 I don't need to do that. 1001 00:55:49,980 --> 00:55:53,100 Spreading myself too thinly, I'm just wearing myself out. 1002 00:55:53,100 --> 00:55:58,980 Doing this sort of work doesn't make you feel anything against men? 1003 00:55:58,980 --> 00:56:00,500 Men are just... 1004 00:56:02,380 --> 00:56:03,580 Well...! 1005 00:56:03,580 --> 00:56:07,460 Well, I always refer to them as very simple creatures, pretty much. 1006 00:56:07,460 --> 00:56:09,660 They're not complex, like us. They're not... 1007 00:56:09,660 --> 00:56:11,300 You know, they're very simple. 1008 00:56:12,780 --> 00:56:16,660 The majority of men are not nice! 1009 00:56:16,660 --> 00:56:20,540 There's a big percentage that, you know, 1010 00:56:20,540 --> 00:56:22,780 I don't agree with, I don't think are nice, 1011 00:56:22,780 --> 00:56:24,540 I don't think are respectable. 1012 00:56:24,540 --> 00:56:26,380 And what are you basing that on? 1013 00:56:26,380 --> 00:56:29,780 The fact that the way men have treated you in your personal life 1014 00:56:29,780 --> 00:56:31,780 or the way your clients are 1015 00:56:31,780 --> 00:56:33,740 or both? Both. 1016 00:56:33,740 --> 00:56:36,900 I think it takes a lot for me to be able to... 1017 00:56:37,940 --> 00:56:41,060 ..I don't know, trust a man, or whatever. 1018 00:56:42,740 --> 00:56:44,100 When we were talking before, 1019 00:56:44,100 --> 00:56:45,900 there was this question of 1020 00:56:45,900 --> 00:56:49,860 can it be healthy sort of psychologically, I suppose? 1021 00:56:49,860 --> 00:56:53,340 What I hear from you is that, actually, doing sex work 1022 00:56:53,340 --> 00:56:56,740 is emotionally complicated. 1023 00:56:56,740 --> 00:56:58,020 Yeah. 1024 00:56:59,820 --> 00:57:02,580 I mean, ideally, I'd love a normal relationship, 1025 00:57:02,580 --> 00:57:06,740 you know, but, I mean, the situation I'm in at the minute... 1026 00:57:11,060 --> 00:57:13,260 ..it's just a relationship with me and the children, 1027 00:57:13,260 --> 00:57:14,700 do you know what I mean? 1028 00:57:16,740 --> 00:57:20,780 But, erm, obviously, I don't want to be like this forever. 1029 00:57:23,220 --> 00:57:24,820 FOOTSTEPS UPSTAIRS 1030 00:57:25,860 --> 00:57:28,700 One of the kids is up! 1031 00:57:28,700 --> 00:57:30,540 Let me go and ask him to settle down. 1032 00:57:33,740 --> 00:57:35,620 Whether because of prejudice 1033 00:57:35,620 --> 00:57:38,380 or the unique nature of physical intimacy, 1034 00:57:38,380 --> 00:57:42,940 we have, for centuries, tended to judge those who trade sex for money. 1035 00:57:44,980 --> 00:57:48,420 My time among those working in the new sexual economy 1036 00:57:48,420 --> 00:57:52,260 had shown me women escaping lives of repression and abuse 1037 00:57:52,260 --> 00:57:55,780 who believed they were using trauma to empower themselves. 1038 00:57:57,980 --> 00:58:00,700 With some, I'd worried about the possibility 1039 00:58:00,700 --> 00:58:02,820 of making vulnerabilities worse... 1040 00:58:03,980 --> 00:58:06,700 ..but it was also true that for at least one 1041 00:58:06,700 --> 00:58:08,780 faced with few other options, 1042 00:58:08,780 --> 00:58:11,940 it had made a precarious position more manageable 1043 00:58:11,940 --> 00:58:14,420 for her and her family.