- I don't know.
- No.
- Really? - Yeah.
It's too squeaky. It's bad for sex.
[bed squeaking] See?
[grunting]
- I don't think that's exactly
my number one priority right now.
- Okay, you need to be aspirational, all right?
You've got to reach for the stars.
There is a small chance that you may have sex again.
- Bridget was a brilliant lover.
- Oh, my God. I bet she wasn't.
You need to move on.
Get over it, okay?
- Are you saying that to me, or to you?
- You, you weirdo.
- If Bridget kissed me and then told me
she was engaged to someone else,
I don't think I could take it.
- Maybe he's still in love with me.
- Ooh. Do you think?
- No.
But it'd be very good for my self-esteem if he were.
- Well, I will not be going to the engagement drinks.
And I don't think Kate and Ian should be going either.
- Oh, were you invited?
- Well, it's a moot point. I wouldn't go.
- So you weren't invited. - It's not really relevant,
Jessie, so I'm not gonna-- - Well, thank you so much
for not going to a party you weren't invited to.
- Anything for my best friend.
- Kate is still my best friend.
- Have you told her Tom kissed you?
- No.
- Joe, one...
Kate, nil.
[upbeat music]
- [grunting] - Jessie.
- Yeah? - Jessie, please--
- You need a bed with structural integrity, okay?
Put your hand on my face.
Not like that. - Get off of me!
- Earthquake testing. - Stop it!
♪ ♪
- How about now?
- Yeah, it's still blurry. - [groans]
- Are you wearing your glasses today, or--
- Ugh! Why is it so hard?
- Okay, don't beat yourself up, all right?
It's a bit tricky.
- Maybe you're just not a good teacher.
- Well, maybe beat yourself up a little bit,
'cause it's actually not that hard.
- Oh, whatever. - Yeah?
[phone ringing]
Hello. - Jessie.
Hi, it's Liam,
the, uh, guy from the wedding that you came on to.
- I have no recollection of this.
- Oh, shit. Sorry.
Must have got that wrong. My bad.
- [laughs] [line beeps]
Hello?
What?
[line trilling]
- Hello, Liam speaking.
- Why did you hang up on me?
- Sorry, who is this?
- Jessie.
- Who?
- The girl from the wedding?
- Which girl from the wedding?
- The one who came on to you, or--
- Oh, yeah. Jessie.
I remember you.
What can I do for you?
- You--you called me.
- Yeah, but you called me more recently, so...
- Oh, my God, I'm hanging up.
I'm-- - [laughs]
No, no, no, no. Okay. Fair enough. Right.
Listen, do you want to go out on the weekend?
- What do you mean?
- I mean, do you want to go out on a date,
with me,
maybe on the weekend?
- Oh, that's-- oh, that's what you mean.
Oh--um, yeah.
I, uh--
actually, do-- what about tomorrow?
Are you free tomorrow, a bit sooner?
Um...
- Uh, yeah.
I can do tomorrow.
- Okay. Cool.
- Nice.
I'm looking forward to it.
- Okay. [both laugh]
No, sorry, yeah. Me too. Yeah.
- Great. - Okay. Great.
Bye. - Bye.
[light music]
[projector rattling]
- Stuart? - Don't come up here!
- What are you--oh, my God.
♪ ♪
- Jessie?
- Hey. - [panting]
Jesus fucking Christ,
those stairs are a fucking nightmare.
- Oh, sorry. How was Paris?
- Oh, uh, boring.
Yeah. Got you a magnet.
- Oh. Thank you. - Yeah.
[panting]
So have you decided to forgive me yet?
- [scoffs] I wasn't mad at you.
- Uh, don't lie to me.
You haven't been replying to my texts.
- Yes, I have.
- Well, I haven't liked your tone in them.
Not enough emojis.
Not enough love. - Okay.
- Look, if this is about the engagement party,
I don't think I'm doing anything wrong by going to it.
- Oh, my God. Okay.
Stop being mad at me
for being mad at you when I'm not.
- What are you not telling me?
- [sighs]
[groans]
Okay.
[sighs]
I think we kissed at the wedding.
- We did?
- No, Tom.
- Excuse me?
- It was just a little kiss.
It was a peck.
Don't. Hey.
- Who initiated?
- I don't know. I don't know.
It was--it was a peck.
It was--it was peckish in nature.
It was on the lips. - Right. Okay.
Well, I cannot believe that I don't know this!
You are a stranger to me!
- Okay. You were on your honeymoon.
- Yeah, well, I wouldn't have gone
if I'd known this.
Shit!
I can't go to his drinks now, can I?
- Well, don't not go on my behalf.
- So I have your blessing?
- Well, no. Uh--
- Well, they're tonight, actually,
so it would be really rude of me to cancel now.
And I have my own relationship with Tom,
separate to our friendship.
- Well, I'm so happy for you both.
[sighs] - Jessie, look.
- [sighs]
- I've been meaning to say this to you.
Just because everyone else is getting engaged
and getting married and moving on
to the next stage of their lives,
it doesn't mean that you should feel
like a failure in any way.
- I'll try and remember that.
- Cool.
Why do you look nice? Where are you going?
- I'm actually-- I'm going on a date.
And I am--I'm late.
- What? Wait, with who?
Come back!
- Let yourself out.
- Fine!
Oh, my God.
[scoffs] Oh, my God.
This is mine.
Beautiful.
♪ ♪
- So uh, when did you last go bowling?
- Um, I think, like, a year ago, maybe?
- Ah. Right. Okay.
- Or, like--yeah, a year ago.
- Year ago?
Nice.
- Uh, I didn't--didn't see you
at the end of the wedding, I realized.
Did you have a good time? - Oh, yeah, yeah. I loved it.
- You did? - I loved it. Yeah.
I got to dance pretty close to that famous guy.
He smelled great.
Like, really good.
- Tom.
- Yeah, yeah. Tom Kapoor.
Yeah. I love that guy.
You're not a fan? - Oh, no.
I, um--uh, he's--he is--
he's the ex-boyfriend that I, like,
sort of avoided the whole time.
- Oh, shit. He's your ex-boyfriend?
- Yeah. - Wow.
Nice. [chuckles]
- Nice? - Yeah.
I mean, it makes me feel a hell of a lot better
about my ex-girlfriend, Helen Mirren.
- [laughs] - God, I miss her.
Right, bowling.
Uh, what was your name again?
- Uh, don't worry about that.
Just put Hawk.
- Hawk. [laughs]
Shit. - Rude.
- Amazing.
You got one.
- Yeah.
- Right. Let me show you how it's done.
- Okay.
- Oh!
That was really close.
- Have you ever been bowling before?
- Yes. I take all my dates here.
- Don't sit down. You've got another bowl.
- What? - Yeah.
- Really?
Oh, great. - Yes.
- [chuckles] Okay.
- Come on. - Okay.
Here goes.
Oh!
Bullseye!
- Do you know what a bullseye is?
- Obviously. Did you not see that?
Oh, I love these. - [laughs]
- Hey! - What?
He had a mustache.
[both exhale]
- Just ring it again.
- [sighs] [doorbell rings]
- Okay, I think we should go.
- [groans] But we just got here.
- We're making a mistake. - She said it was okay.
- Okay, we are stabbing Jessie in the back.
- It's a front stabbing at worst.
- Right, if you knew what I knew,
you would be running for the goddamn hills.
- What do you know? - [scoffs]
I've been sworn to secrecy, so...
- Okay. I respect that.
- Right, Tom and Jessie kissed on the lips.
- No, no, no, I don't want to-- - No tongues.
They kissed, Ian. This engagement is a sham.
- Hey! - Hi! Bonjour!
- Wow. - Hi.
Hi. - You guys made it.
- Oh! - Nice to meet you.
- Lovely to meet you.
- Ian. Lovely as well. [indistinct chatter]
- I'm so pleased you could come tonight.
I can't believe we've never properly met.
- I know.
- I think Tom has been keeping us apart.
- Really?
Why would he do that?
- No, it was a joke.
- Oh. [laughs]
I'm sorry. Yeah, sorry.
I thought it might be because of, um...
- Jessie.
- What about Jessie?
- No, it's just-- uh, she's your best friend,
and she was with Tom, so...
- Oh. Was she with Tom?
- Well, yeah, from what I can gather.
- Ah. [laughs] Yeah.
Oh, I forgot about that for some reason.
[with French accent] Bizarre.
Mm.
[normally] So tell me about yourself, Clem.
Um, what--what have you been working on lately?
- No, we don't have to talk about that.
- No, I'm interested. Yeah.
- Um, I just got back from a film in Budapest.
- Oh! You know what, I'm so sorry.
I'm desperate for the loo.
Let me just-- - No, yeah. I'll show you.
- Oh, no, no. Sorry. I just need to piss.
- Okay. - Okay. Thanks, Clem.
- Yeah.
- Bonsoir.
[speaking French]
Cheers. Ian.
- Cheers.
[phone dings]
[rock music playing]
♪ ♪
- Here you go. - Oh, thank you.
- Please, man. Please. Please, I'm begging you.
I'm begging you. - We only really put
the barriers up for sort of children.
- It's just, the ball's just not really
doing what I want it to do.
- It's pointless.
You might as well just generate a random score each time.
- That sounds great.
- Uh, okay.
- Thank you.
Thank you, dude.
Ooh.
- Hello. - Thank you.
- For the sober driver. - Thank you.
- And the drunk passenger. [glasses clink]
- Cheers.
both: Oh, yes!
- Thank you. - Wow.
- Thank you.
- Congratulations. - Thank you very much.
Thank you, sir. Thank you, ma'am.
You're too kind.
- All right.
Hello, my little friend.
- Jessie. - What?
- No. No.
- Why? - No.
- Why? - No. Because--
- Why not? - We've been through this.
Those finger holes are too small on that ball,
and you keep picking it.
- It's a cool colored ball.
Let me live my life, please.
- You'll get stuck. - Move out of my way.
- You'll get stuck. Okay.
- Right. - Your funeral.
- [grunts] My God.
That was a bad one.
- What did I tell you?
- My God. Ow.
- Yeah. - [grunting]
- Am I gonna go and have to get that cooking spray again?
- Yeah.
- Unbelievable. - [chuckles]
Thank you!
[phone ringing] Ooh.
Here we go.
Hello? - Where are you?
- Oh, okay. Calm down.
- You need to get here now.
- Why?
- A series of events have occurred
which means that I have built
half a double bed in our bathroom,
and now I cannot get it out.
- How have you even done that?
- I don't need questions.
I don't need judgment.
Get here now!
- Fine. Fine.
[sighs] - Right.
They said this is the last time we're allowed to do this, okay?
- Um, I-- I have to go help my flatmate
put together furniture.
- What? - He's going through a divorce,
and he's, like, freaking out,
and he's bought all this new stuff,
and he just can't put together a thing.
He's very impractical.
- This is you trying to end the date, isn't it?
- Oh, no. No.
I--I just--I think--
he's a very mentally weak person.
I'm a very good friend.
- I'm up for it. - Really?
- I thrive in a time of crisis.
[sprays] There.
- Yeah? - Right.
- Okay. - Ready for this?
- Mm-hmm. All right.
- Ready? - Yeah.
- [grunting] Three, two, one.
- Ow!
Ow. - [chuckles]
- You were right. - Yeah.
- I was wrong.
[laughs]
- [humming]
Clem is just fantastic, isn't she?
- She's an actor.
She can't be trusted.
- I told her all about our Paris train booking debacle
and she just loved it.
- All right, well, she's definitely lying, then.
That is not a good story.
- Well, you haven't been hearing the way
I've been telling it, so...
- Look, I don't feel good about being here.
We can't be friends with Clem.
We can only be friends with Jessie.
- I pick Clem.
- Ian!
- Gun to my head, I pick Clem.
- [whispering] Ian! - Hmm?
- You can't pick Clem.
You pick Jessie.
- I pick Clem.
- Oh, my God.
So this is what it's like in the front seat.
- Pretty cool, right? - Yeah.
What am I sitting on?
What are these?
- Those are called pliers.
- Oh, yes. Sorry.
For work or for leisure?
Wait, what do you do again?
- I'm an electrician.
- Oh, my God. I thought that was a joke.
- I would never joke about that.
- Okay. That's cool.
Can we go through a car wash? - Yes!
- Really? - No.
- [laughs]
[door shuts] Joe?
- Oh, thank God.
Jessie!
- Oh, God damn it. - Hi.
- Hey. This is Liam. - Hi, mate.
- Hiya. Lovely to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
- Have you come far?
- Eh, just the-- the bowling alley.
- Yeah. Great. It's lovely. Lovely one there.
- Um, should we get you out of here?
- Yeah, um, would you mind maybe just,
uh, grabbing me a biscuit or something?
'Cause I'm quite hungry.
- Okay. We'll get you a biscuit.
- Thank you. Um--
- But--I'm gonna have to-- sorry.
- Yeah, no. Of course. Yeah, yeah.
- He seems lovely, by the way.
Is the accent Scottish?
[indistinct chatter]
- Hi. Welcome.
Hey. Oh, my God.
Have you heard Ian's story about the train?
- The train? Yeah. - So good.
I think Kate was a little nervous to meet me.
- Why? You're not that famous.
- Uh, yes, I am.
No, but really.
She was acting a little weird.
- Oh. Okay.
Well, she is quite weird.
I'll go check in with them.
- Yeah. Thank you.
- Okay.
- Why did we invite so many boring work people?
- I have no idea.
[light piano music]
♪ ♪
Excuse me.
- Have you both eaten?
I've got Jammie Dodgers!
- Uh, that's fine, Joe. Thank you.
- I'm okay. Thank you.
- Sorry about this. [laughs]
- [laughs] Don't be silly.
This is my dream.
Although, what was he trying to put together?
- Heartbreak can do crazy things to a man.
- Are you gonna be safe living here?
- No, no. Not at all.
I'm gonna die at the hands of Joe.
- [laughs] He's really put this in deep.
Um, there's not a screwdriver
or anything down there, is there?
- Uh, not that I can see.
Do you want me to go to the kitchen?
- Yeah, if you could. - Okay.
Okay. I'm gonna go under.
Don't watch me do this.
- Oh, don't worry. I won't watch.
- Because I don't think it's gonna be very attractive,
Okay? Ooh!
- You okay? - Oh.
Actually, it's pretty cool.
- Yeah, that's cool. That looks cool.
[laughs] - Hello.
[both laugh]
- Hey.
- Oh, hi. - Leaving already?
- Yeah. Yeah.
Oh, Ian's just saying goodbye to Clem.
Um--ugh, he's been doing French on Duolingo.
I think he's practicing on her.
Sorry about that.
- Oh, I'm sure she'll be fine.
Um, the wedding was beautiful, by the way.
- Oh, thank you.
Yeah. Thank you.
It cost too much money.
- Oh.
- I hope it wasn't too awkward for you.
- How do you mean?
- Uh, you know, with Jessie.
- Oh, no. Not at all.
We, uh--we didn't actually get to catch up that night, so--
- Oh, right. Mm.
- Yeah. How is she?
- Oh, Jessie's brilliant. Yeah.
She's on a date tonight, so...
- Oh. Okay.
That's great.
- Why do you ask?
- Uh, just out of interest.
- Why are you interested?
- I guess I'm not.
- Good.
'Cause you're getting married.
- I am.
- [laughs nervously] Ian!
- Have you got a favorite type of screwdriver?
- Probably Phillips. - Yeah. Phillips.
Has to be, doesn't it?
Sir Phillip, my liege.
Thanks again for doing this as well, man.
Thanks. - Yeah. No worries.
- Yeah.
Bridget used to do all the practical stuff.
- Oh. I'm sorry, man. - Yeah.
It's a real surprise she found the time
in between all the affairs.
- It was one affair, twice,
and she regretted it both times.
- Oh, that makes it okay, then. Yeah.
- Have you ever been married before, Liam?
- Uh, no.
I, uh--I asked someone once, but it didn't work out.
- Oh, God. Did they die?
- No. They, uh--they just said no.
- Are you okay?
- Uh, well, this was about ten years ago,
so I'm getting there.
- You deserve to be happy again.
- Oh, my God. - Thanks, man. That's sweet.
- Sorry. - Don't say sorry.
- Sorry. It's just a weird thing to do.
- I'm just saying that in this space,
it's a happy space.
This is my new home.
I want it to be a happy, safe space.
- Right. - I--listen.
- You seemed to get on with him.
- I have got a deep connection with Joe now.
And I think-- I think you're just jealous.
- Yeah, probably.
- You know, you-- you really didn't need
to walk me all the way to my van.
- Oh, I--I would never have forgiven myself
if anything had happened to you
on the short walk from my flat to...
- Right. - Here.
[laughs]
Um...
can I tell you something?
- I'd rather guess. What does it start with?
- [laughs]
No, I--
Tom is getting married,
and his engagement drinks are tonight.
And I think, um,
I used you as a bit of a distraction.
- Well, did it work?
- Yeah. [laughs]
Kind of.
- Good.
[gentle music]
♪ ♪
Can I see you again?
- Yeah.
- Okay. Cool.
♪ ♪
- You make me nervous.
- Is that a good thing?
- Hard to tell.
Hard to tell.
[exhales] I'm gonna date other people.
- [laughs] Okay.
- Yeah.
And this is a casual thing
between you and I.
- Sure.
- Goodbye forever.
- Bye, then.
- Bye.
Bye-bye.
[phone dings]
Joe, want to have a cup of tea?
- Chamomile, please.
- Okay.
[dog barking]
[upbeat music]
I fucking knew it.
♪ ♪
Wow.
♪ ♪