(mellow music playing)
John Wilson: Hey, New York.
In a city this crowded, it's important that everyone
maintains good personal hygiene.
You don't always have time to do it at home,
so sometimes, you have to do it on the go.
While some might find this behavior offensive,
public grooming is actually the ultimate sign of respect
for your fellow New Yorkers.
It makes it more comfortable to live close to one another
and lets your neighbors know that you really care about them
and their well-being.
While most of your body is relatively easy to reach,
the hardest part to clean has always been your ears.
Historically, people have always used cotton swabs
to clean their ears, but,
apparently, this has never been
one of the recommended uses on the package.
And they even say not to do it.
Right there. It's in fine print.
You can risk serious injury
by cleaning something the wrong way.
So you should probably just find something else to do with,
uh, with your Q-tips
instead of putting them in your head.
Hey! No!
But, if you don't have
a safe method to clean them out,
you might not have any way
of knowing what's happening in there.
And after years of neglecting the problem,
there's really no telling what might be inside.
So, instead of letting things get out of hand
or losing your cool,
hang in there, baby,
and I'll show you how fun and easy it is
to finally figure out the right way to
clean your ears.
To make sure you're heading in the right direction,
you should try and consult a specialist
who has sophisticated technology
to get you all cleaned out.
You know, it sounds like you probably have earwax.
Um, that's the most common cause of what you're describing,
-but let me take a look, and, uh, we'll see what you got. -John: Okay.
Doctor: I've been in this practice since '99.
John: That's when the, uh, "The Matrix" came out.
(doctor laughs)
John: Have you seen one like this?
Doctor: Yes, (laughs) I've seen ones like this.
♪♪
John: There's a bunch of stuff in there,
and it all comes out in a big, sticky mess.
(John grunts)
Doctor: Come on, baby. (laughs) It's coming out.
(sighs)
-(John laughs) -Alright.
John: And when you're finally finished,
you really do feel a major improvement.
It kinda feels like you've just landed
after taking the longest plane ride you've ever taken,
and you begin to notice sounds
-in a way you never did before. -(loud typing)
Cool.
-(wind blowing) -(bird chirps)
-(squirrel squeaks) -(leaves rustling)
(squeak)
Oh, Paulie, it's so nice to see you!
-You look different. -You look different!
(car honks)
-(street noise) -I gotta call Bagel Boys.
I gotta call my graphic designer.
I gotta call my video guy.
I'm swamped right now. I'm rammed. I'm rammed!
Oh, my God, every time I go to Rockefeller Center, Valerie,
I can't help but remember when I had my, uh...
-Valerie: The gallbladder? -Uh, my gallbladder issue.
And when I look over to the corner,
-I see my friend getting his ass kicked. -(siren wailing)
He's getting kicked in the face.
And I run over, and I grab that kid,
and as I grab that kid,
another one of their guys steps up from the side
and cuts my face open with a razor blade
from the middle of my forehead,
just coming down to my neck,
just missing my carotid,
and cutting my ear in half as well. And...
-(playing trumpet) -John: It's all really exciting at first...
-(popping) -...but after a few days,
the pleasure begins to wear off...
(loud scraping)
...and all the sounds of the city
finally start to get to me.
-Lying fucking buses! -(cars honking)
Damn you!
Another fucking express bus?! Ah!
(loud hammering)
(tires screeching)
(grating laugh)
Woo! Woo!
(train screeching)
(siren wailing)
(plane roaring)
(marching band playing "Addams Family" theme song)
(quiet creaking)
John: So, if the sound outside is getting to you,
you can always just retreat into your apartment
where it's usually really quiet.
One of your only neighbors in the building next door
is a nice old lady who barely makes any noise at all.
You really like living next to her.
But, one day, she sold the building
and moved down to Florida.
When they were cleaning it out,
you finally got to see what was going on in the basement
where a tenant of hers had been living,
who apparently, uh, liked to collect stuff.
Oh, my God.
Landlord: And this is after I packed over 150 bags for her,
so she could bring them to her storage unit.
-John: Oh, my God. -Landlord: And I can't even get to the back beyond--
There's a bathroom back there that's so disgusting,
you'd throw up if you looked at it.
John: Pretty soon, construction workers
started doing a gut renovation of the entire building.
-(knocking) -John: Which quickly turned your apartment...
-(scraping, banging) -...into one of the noisiest places you've ever lived.
-(erratic knocking) -John: It seems like they're not gonna stop anytime soon.
-(clattering) -John: And you wonder how other New Yorkers
-deal with problems like this. -(banging)
(loud music, party chatter)
John: It-It's like this every single weekend?
(scoffs)
(loud music, party chatter continues)
John: How long do you think you'll be able to kind of...
tolerate living here?
(tenant speaking)
-John: You're moving next weekend? Really? -(laughs) Yeah. Yeah.
(quiet street noise)
(lock clicks)
(footsteps)
-John: I'm John. Yeah. -Alex: Hey, nice to meet you.
-John: Okay, go ahead. -(subway whirring)
Yeah, so this is my bed where I sleep every night.
and this is the, uh, Myrtle Broadway station.
(loud rumbling)
(Alex speaking)
John: Do you think it's a little cheaper because of the noise?
-Definitely. I do feel like we got lucky. -Mm-hmm.
John: So, they can see us just as well as we can see them?
Alex: Oh, yeah. Definitely.
John: He knows I'm filming him.
-(quiet birds chirping) -(wind rustling)
(running footsteps)
-Hi. How's it going? -John: Hey, I'm John. I'm, uh, with HBO.
-(laundry running) -Living in New York, there's things, you know,
you have to compromise with your neighbors.
Um, but, shortly after,
this couple below us moved in,
and it's been very difficult
because they were having parties.
They're just trying to celebrate, you know--
-Their-- Yeah, their... -They're celebrating.
...their child's 1-year-old party at 1:00 AM.
-(laughs) -Like, that's, that's just...
-What? (laughs) Just doesn't make sense. -Yeah.
-Yeah.
-It was his first birthday. -(baby babbling)
Right, Skylo? It was your first birthday,
and we just had some music going.
-(baby babbling) -And we couldn't believe it.
-(continues babbling) -John: About what?
They called the cops.
When they asked me to end at midnight,
I was honestly pretty surprised that, you know,
someone close to our age would be going to bed then.
-I, I never have gone to bed at that, at that hour. -(slapping)
John: Do you, do you have any, like, the music you like to play?
-Yeah, we can play you something. -John: Okay.
-(loud house music playing) -Yeah, this is loud enough that they can hear it.
If it was after maybe 12:30 or 1:00,
they would probably go ahead and write a text to me, like--
I think this is loud enough.
I don't know, I just want the world to be more of people
who will, you know,
be able to sleep through noise, and so we can live--
I mean, this is Brooklyn. This is New York.
Like, we're not in the middle of,
you know, your own property. We all have to coexist.
-Husband: 'Kay. -And why should the people who are, you know...
who want the quiet always prevail?
-John: Mm. -Well, we, we've also had some suggestions
that might help on their end.
Um a lot of people find that a noise machine
or even a fan helps a lot to dim things out.
I wanna create permanent magical culture,
which is basically creating--
'Cause one of the, the main signatures of Burning Man,
-why people love it... -(banging)
-John: Mm-hmm. -...is because you have...
-(banging continues) -...it's like you run it--
It's all like synchronicity.
It's like you meet-- you run people--
-Yeah, okay, fine. Bang on the table. Go. -(bang)
John: Are you gonna bring Skylo to Burning Man next year?
-Husband: No. -John: Oh.
Skylo would enjoy Burning Man a lot. A whole lot.
But, the health considerations
-are too unpredictable. -John: Hm.
Mostly noise, to be honest.
(coughing)
John: Is he sick?
Husband: He is sick.
(Skylo babbling)
John: That's nice.
Maybe it's hard to agree
on what a reasonable amount of sound is.
And everyone has a different definition.
When you look around the city, it seems like the people
who are the loudest are having all the fun.
And you rarely get rewarded
for not making any noise at all.
♪♪
When I make love, I barely make a sound.
(whirring)
John: This is because I lived with at least five roommates
-for around a decade. -(dispenser clicking)
John: I trained myself to become completely stealth
because I-I knew how well
they could hear me through the walls.
Even though it felt good trying to be considerate,
my romantic partners were always the ones
to pay the price.
And I always wished I could have cared less
and made the sounds my body wanted to make.
(broken dryer whining, grinding)
(winding down)
John: But, the brakes on your car
started to make an awful sound recently.
(brakes squeal loudly)
John: And people started to yell at you on the street.
John: Sorry.
You would normally feel bad about it,
but maybe you, you, you can embrace it.
It seems like as long as sound is in motion,
it's okay in New York City.
-(trumpeting) -(crowd chanting)
John: And as long as the noise is coming from your car,
it should be fine.
(car horn continuously honks "The Godfather" theme)
-(horn stops) -John: Wow.
Does anyone ever get annoyed by the horn?
-No, they love it. -John: Okay, cool.
-So what do you call this thing? -They call it a hail cannon.
John: Would it have any practical application back here?
Cannon Man: If you wanted to, like,
get all your leaves off the trees at one shot,
and if you don't like your neighbors,
you could just shut them up, too.
John: Is Jersey a good place, like, for this or--
Cannon Man: New Jersey sucks. Yous guys should stand back a little bit
-when we do it, so... -John: Okay.
-Cannon Man: Ready? -John: Wait, hold on. What are you gonna--
(explosive bang, whirring)
-Ready? -(explosive bang)
(explosive bang)
-Ready? -John: Yeah.
(explosive bang, whirring)
-Not bad there. -John: Yeah, not bad.
Cannon Man: My neighbor across the street called the cops
and, uh, said his kids were afraid of it.
So, why don't you come here and talk to me like a man
instead of doing that shit? So, it is what it is.
People are just too sensitive nowadays.
-(quad bike idling) -John: Hey.
-(hail cannon blasts) -Hey, man. Are you his neighbor?
-Hey-- -(loud revving)
-John: Hey, man. -Yo.
You know, he would shoot it off during the day,
-which was perfectly fine. You know, we had no issues. -(cannon blasts)
Got to the point where he would shoot it off at nighttime,
and when he's at nighttime, you know, it's just,
it's disrespectful for all the kids that are sleeping
and everything, you know what I mean?
So now-- And then actually,
after a few times, he started shooting it,
it actually damaged the inside of our house a little bit.
-Cracked our walls and stuff like that. -(cannon blasts)
-John: Oh, really? -Yeah.
(quad bike revving)
(Cannon Man speaking)
-John: Oh, yeah. -It's, it's just...
-John: Oh, that's annoying? -Yeah.
♪♪
John: It seems like no matter how much you justify your noise,
it'll always affect someone else.
And once one neighbor starts,
it'll keep escalating back and forth forever,
forcing you to invent new ways to claim your territory.
-Ready? -(fire whooshes)
John: Oh, Jesus fucking Christ!
Cannon Man: Pretty hot, isn't it? Praise his name!
(whooshing)
Alright.
(Cannon Man groans)
John: So, you went online
and ordered some brake pads.
And in the meantime,
you talk to other New Yorkers about what else irritates them.
And it seems like sound wasn't the only issue
affecting their mental health.
This is a meter, and what I do with it,
I, I can check where I can breathe freely.
This is basically measures the dust particles.
Upstairs, it was 50.
Here, it's four times more.
This is a manslaughter amount of particles to be in.
If you know the particles are 400,
I-I-I'm panicking. I wanna get outta here.
Before that, I would be sitting like this dude.
John: Sorry.
-(street chatter) -(soft music playing)
-John: So this is a Macy's-- -Five!
John: Oh, wow.
John: So what's the reading in the GameStop?
Uh, HEPA filters are doing their jobs.
John: Okay, sorry. We were just-- Okay.
I have also ADD. I'm kinda consistently aggressive,
so it's all definitely pointing out
to that one specific area.
-Pollution. -John: Okay.
5G Person: You know, a lot of the times when people don't mind
a lot of the noise, to the pollution,
to, you know, things like 5G,
um, they usually are sociopathic.
I've, I've known those people, um, you know, who have told me
that they were, um, diagnosed with sociopathy.
-John: Hm. -Um, sociopath.
You know, they had been locked up in prison for 30 years.
Serial killers I've met, believe it or not, um...
John: Who were the serial killers you've met?
Yeah, I mean, two, like, one I was with,
and then the other, um,
that did work for the government. Yeah.
John: Wait, you-you dated a serial killer?
Yeah. Yeah.
So, like, he worked for, um, like, a trading firm here,
like, during the daytime.
And then, of course, the night was like a different life.
John: Wait, sorry. (stammers) Got hung up on this.
Can you talk about what they did without saying their names?
I mean, everything from assassination to, um...
um, like, everything in, like, the deep blue sea.
-Yeah. -John: What does that mean?
Um, the underworld.
-(construction noise) -John: Here, let me close this.
-(noise muffles) -John: Um...
See? Immediately, right when the window closes...
-Like, the brain? (laughs) The waves. -John: Yeah.
5G Person: I do get away to a few places to detox.
I can promise anybody that the feeling is so different,
and it's like detoxing from energy.
♪♪
John: Maybe the reason everyone is
at each other's throats in New York,
is because of all the toxic stuff we're exposed to.
You have had a bad headache recently.
You're also pretty sure your hairline is receding.
And... (clears throat)
you've been feeling a bit more short-tempered.
So, maybe it would be good
to detox. For once.
You looked up the place
that the one lady told you about,
and it seemed pretty nice.
They call it the Quiet Zone
because there's no cell service
or Wi-Fi allowed for miles
so that this giant radio telescope
can operate without interference.
That ends up attracting a, a bunch of people
who are sensitive to all this stuff.
(coughing)
You were curious if people really did feel healthier there.
And maybe everyone gets along better
in a less polluted environment.
-Driver: Hey, get the fuck out of the way! -Piece of shit!
-Driver: Go fuck your mother! -Fuck you!
-Driver: Your mother! -(spits) Bitch!
John: So, you get in your car and take the long drive
out to the Quiet Zone.
(speaks quieter) The-- The Quiet Zone.
(mellow music playing)
-(car rumbling) -(brakes squeal)
John: The air felt really good out here.
And it felt like your headache was already getting better.
(insects chirp)
John: They were right that there really was
no cell phone service,
and instead of just scrolling on your phone,
you-you just talk to a few of the people you found in town.
(brakes squeal)
John: Is everyone pretty neighborly here?
We do definitely have a way of life.
You know, people come in here, we...
have boxes for credit.
-John: Wait, really? -Yeah.
So, these are for individual people in the community,
-and we have it sorted by name. -John: Oh, that's cool.
-And, like, if you take it out, it's just pieces of papers. -John: That's so cool.
It doesn't matter where I go here. They're my neighbors.
The day I moved here, one of my neighbors said,
"Uh, you just moved in. You probably haven't had time.
-I'll mow your lawn for you today." -John: Oh yeah?
-And the other one brought me a pie. -John: Oh, wow.
You even drove over to the observatory,
and they, uh, they offered to give you a tour.
(burps) Sorry.
They were even doing some routine maintenance,
which meant you actually got to witness them cleaning
one of the biggest ears on the ent-- the whole planet.
This is kind of like the biggest, like, ear in the world.
-Biggest eyeball in the world! Yeah. -John: Eye-Eyeball? Okay.
You realized you hadn't really prepared any good questions
about the telescope,
so the tour was, uh, pretty short.
-Uh, I just rewatched that movie "Contact." -(radio beeping, chatter)
-John: Uh, what have-- -Can I turn off my radio?
-John: Oh, yeah, sure. -I just-- I'm sorry about this.
John: You were still curious about the electrosensitive people
who moved here to get away from 5G and Wi-Fi and stuff.
So, you arranged to meet up with a lady named Diane,
who lived deep in the woods with her husband, Bert.
Bert: So, all this is about electrosensitivity
and conferences been to.
Bio-initiative Report and so forth.
John: So, what is that? What, what is that thing?
Bert: That's how you can determine if you're electrosensitive.
John: But is it actually, like, do you find it's actually quiet here?
-Generally, yes. -John: Hm.
Occasionally, a car might drive by,
-and I feel the, uh, cell phone. -John: Hm.
You know, it gave me a headache.
No, just about no bald people here.
-John: Oh, really? -(laughs) Yeah.
John: Yeah, I've had, I've had kind of a headache
in the city recently.
You think-- You think I would feel better
if I moved out here?
Um, well, yeah.
There are a lot of people that come here
that, supposedly, they are sensitive,
-but I feel, in my opinion, I think they're faking it. -(beep)
-John: What's that?
-Diane: That's a smoke detector. -Bert: Smoke detector in the other room needs a battery.
John: I can do, I can do it for you.
-Bert: I appreciate that very much, John. -John: Yeah, of course.
You were surprised to hear that Diane thought
anybody would fake a condition like this,
even though they take it very seriously.
But, maybe the community
was just trying to protect the paradise they have
from invaders like you.
So, you went to get a second opinion
from another electrosensitive, uh, person nearby.
Are there any electrosensitives that you don't believe,
or that you feel like are embellishing at all?
Well, everybody embellishes. It's human nature.
We all exaggerate.
If you read anything about psychology,
nobody tells completely the truth.
We all embellish, okay? And our memories are imperfect.
In terms of, like, hypochondriacs...
(sighs) no. Why would you come here?
People leave their families. They leave their jobs.
They, you know, they leave their comfortable situations,
and they come here and live in an area
which is hard to live in.
-John: Mm-hmm. -It's hard living here.
Nobody's gonna do that, you know?
John: Well, uh, yeah, I was just--
I was just thinking of that just 'cause
when I was just talking to Diane, she,
she said that she didn't believe some people.
She feels like some people were faking it.
That's her problem.
Did you, did you and Diane have a falling out or...?
No, I think Bert and I had a falling out
because he started shouting at me, and he said,
"We don't like you. You're too argumentative."
And we also had a big argument about Roundup,
which he insisted you can drink. It was perfectly safe.
-John: Wait, the weed killer? -The weed killer, yeah.
John: Wait, but Bert argued that you could drink Roundup?
Yeah. Mm.
John: So, what's the electrosensitive community like?
Clover: Well, it's not, as I say, it's not really a community.
I'm lonely, and it's hard to deal with most of these people.
There's a few that are my friends
because it's a give-and-take.
I-- They help me, I help them.
You know, they're honest. They don't-- Yeah, so...
But most of the people I don't find that I like to deal with.
They'll be friendly to you and then they'll scorn you
and they won't even talk to you. I find that very hurtful.
♪♪
John: It seems like even in ideal conditions,
it's still really hard to avoid friction between neighbors.
She told you about a property
where a bunch of other electrosensitives,
uh, lived in cabins.
And you found a lady who was actually moving out
because the conditions in the Quiet Zone
still weren't good enough.
They retrofit tiny houses,
which is almost like a tiny mansion,
-for people who are sensitive. -John: Wh-Where in the country?
Um, right now, they're in Utah.
John: Oh, okay. So you're gonna move to Utah after this?
I am going to try out this house
because every single wire is shielded.
John: So, is this your heating unit here?
Andrea: No, I have no heater except the wood.
-John: Oh, it's only wood. Okay. -Yeah.
Because I hate to say Walt is a slumlord,
but that's another story.
-John: Walt is like-- -He owns all this land and the property,
-and fixes nothing. -John: Right. Really?
-That’s a shame. -I had to put screens on the windows.
He wouldn't do it.
-John: Oh, really? -The oven went off.
It could-- I-- It wouldn't... go.
And from the Wi-Fi that comes in with my neighbor...
John: The list was very long,
but you were curious about why, uh, her landlord
would rent to people with so many specific demands
if he, uh, if he wasn't prepared to accommodate them.
And then when she took you out to her car
to show you where she sleeps when the Wi-Fi gets too bad,
-her landlord actually drove by. -So, this goes up--
-John: Now, is that Walt? -Oh, yeah.
John: Oh.
And after you said goodbye to her,
you secretly went up to his place
to get his perspective on the whole situation.
(door creaking)
John: Wow. This is a beautiful spot.
Walt: This in itself should have a soothing effect
-on most any type... -(birds chirping)
...of ailment you might have.
-Or think you might have. -John: Yeah.
Walt: Not enough. Gotta be something else.
They're a moving target.
One thing you get done today,
you know, there's something else tomorrow.
The, the issue of electricity comes first,
but then, they have dust. They have smell.
They have mold. There's other issues.
And, and once you get one solved,
it'd, be... (stammers)
that doesn't mean that it's all over.
You've gotta deal with something else the next day,
and it goes on and on. It makes it difficult.
This hot tub that I have,
it's this outside hot tub right here,
this lady that rented it from me,
she stayed in there as much as 24 hours
to block off rays
that were coming to her from someone else.
They look different. They act different.
Uh, they're difficult to deal with.
But, that doesn't mean the problem
is gonna go away. At some point,
this issue has got to be addressed,
'cause we don't see it decreasin'.
We see it increasin'.
John: Wait, so your...
your Wi-Fi is like, your Wi-Fi is password protected.
-Yeah. -John: Who's gonna steal it, you know?
I-I'd like for them people to steal it. (laughs)
The only thing I gotta watch in here,
I got a 21-year-old house cat.
-John: Oh yeah? Okay. -And she can't get out, so she should be alright.
Walt: That's a heat pad. That's electric.
-John: Oh, that's nice. -(cat meows)
Walt: Oh yeah, you want your picture taken, Lodge?
She--
But she wants that heat pad, and bitches about it
if she don't get it. She throws a fit.
John: Aw. Hello.
Walt: Yeah, she's a good cat.
John: Oh, wow. You got a noise machine here.
-Is that what this is? -Walt: What's that?
-John: That's a noise machine. -Walt: Yeah.
John: What, what do you got the noise machine for?
Walt: Well, that's my wife. When she comes home,
she gotta have that thing.
John: Really? Even though it's, like--
Why does your wife need a noise machine?
They want, they want noise. They don't want it real quiet.
Otherwise, you can't sleep without that noise.
I mean, you're supposed to be able to sleep the other way.
Gotta be quiet. Well, not here.
Sometimes, when Rita comes home, bless her heart,
she turn that thing on. It aggravates me,
but, you know, I can live with it.
(gentle music playing)
John: I guess even if you do manage
to find a quiet place,
it might not stay quiet for very long.
-(brakes squeal) -You know how to get to the highway?
Alright.
So, maybe you should try
getting used to the stuff that bothers you.
Otherwise, you may just be on the run forever.
Because no matter how far you move away,
the one noise you'll never escape
is the one in your own head.
And if you love something enough,
a little noise is a, a small price to pay.
♪♪
So, if you do ever muster up the courage
to make sound in bed,
just make sure that you have something to cover it up with
that everyone will love.
(car horn honks "The Godfather" theme)
(horn continues)
(loud street noise)
(subway screeching)
(blaring siren passing)
(jackhammer rattling)
(alarm blaring)
(cacophony, horn continues)
(John muffled)
(silence)
("Mellow Landscape" by Mike Vickers playing)
♪♪