1
00:00:14,291 --> 00:00:15,833
[police siren wails]
2
00:00:15,916 --> 00:00:17,791
[engine revs]
3
00:00:17,875 --> 00:00:19,083
[tires squeal]
4
00:00:19,166 --> 00:00:21,000
[dramatic music]
5
00:00:21,083 --> 00:00:22,625
[gunfire]
6
00:00:24,166 --> 00:00:25,541
[engine revving]
7
00:00:30,708 --> 00:00:31,875
[gunshot]
8
00:00:37,791 --> 00:00:39,166
[tires squeal]
9
00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:42,958
[tires screeching]
10
00:00:51,666 --> 00:00:53,083
[feedback squeals]
11
00:00:53,750 --> 00:00:55,375
[producer] Oh! Love it!
12
00:00:55,458 --> 00:00:58,208
"Trouble"! One of the greatest
Elvis songs of all time.
13
00:00:58,291 --> 00:00:59,125
How was the sound?
14
00:00:59,208 --> 00:01:01,041
Hell yeah. Felt great.
15
00:01:01,125 --> 00:01:03,517
But since that song's about
beating the shit out of somebody,
16
00:01:03,541 --> 00:01:05,458
which is great in its own way,
17
00:01:05,541 --> 00:01:07,583
maybe we try something more...
18
00:01:08,708 --> 00:01:09,791
Christmassy?
19
00:01:10,291 --> 00:01:14,666
Yeah. I'm having kinda second thoughts
about the whole Christmas angle.
20
00:01:14,750 --> 00:01:16,430
[producer]
I hear you. Great. Good thought.
21
00:01:16,458 --> 00:01:19,416
So, let's try one
with Tiny Tim and the Elvis Elves.
22
00:01:19,500 --> 00:01:20,791
[man coughs]
23
00:01:22,458 --> 00:01:23,458
Thoughts?
24
00:01:25,208 --> 00:01:27,208
[jazzy blues music]
25
00:01:31,208 --> 00:01:32,958
[giggling]
26
00:01:34,541 --> 00:01:35,541
Ladies.
27
00:01:36,208 --> 00:01:38,916
Oh, for fuck's sake, Scatter.
28
00:01:39,458 --> 00:01:42,416
I guess "Wait in the limo"
is a little too open-ended, huh?
29
00:01:42,500 --> 00:01:43,541
What the hell?
30
00:01:43,625 --> 00:01:45,833
You said we'd get to hang out with Elvis.
31
00:01:45,916 --> 00:01:47,041
[cackles]
32
00:01:47,125 --> 00:01:48,541
[cheeks squelching on window]
33
00:01:48,625 --> 00:01:50,958
Now, you realize
that vest has pockets, right?
34
00:01:51,041 --> 00:01:53,041
[crowd shouting indistinctly]
35
00:01:57,125 --> 00:01:58,500
[speed-dialing]
36
00:01:58,583 --> 00:01:59,833
[Priscilla, on phone] Hello?
37
00:01:59,916 --> 00:02:01,708
Oh hey, baby. Did I call too late?
38
00:02:01,791 --> 00:02:04,833
Only for one of us,
and she's sound asleep.
39
00:02:04,916 --> 00:02:06,476
Well, give her a kiss for me, will you?
40
00:02:06,500 --> 00:02:08,500
You sound tired, baby. You doing okay?
41
00:02:08,583 --> 00:02:10,333
I don't know, 'Cilla.
42
00:02:10,416 --> 00:02:13,541
Feels like the world out there
is going insane, and I'm stuck here
43
00:02:13,625 --> 00:02:16,375
doing a shitty Christmas show
the Colonel locked me into.
44
00:02:16,458 --> 00:02:19,208
Aw, I'm sure the show will be great.
45
00:02:19,291 --> 00:02:21,416
Yeah. You mean
the one with the Elvis Elves?
46
00:02:21,500 --> 00:02:22,666
Come on. "Elvis Elves"?
47
00:02:22,750 --> 00:02:25,000
Trust me,
it's actually worse than it sounds.
48
00:02:25,083 --> 00:02:26,083
No way.
49
00:02:27,750 --> 00:02:29,500
Hello? 'Cilla?
50
00:02:29,583 --> 00:02:31,125
Hey, ace, what happened to the phone?
51
00:02:31,208 --> 00:02:33,291
[driver]
Sorry, just trying to speed things up.
52
00:02:33,375 --> 00:02:34,375
[Elvis] Speed what up?
53
00:02:35,958 --> 00:02:37,458
[driver] My job. Killing you.
54
00:02:38,041 --> 00:02:39,750
Oh, and for whatever reason,
55
00:02:39,833 --> 00:02:43,041
they wanted you to hear this
while you, you know, die.
56
00:02:43,125 --> 00:02:44,625
Did he just say, "Killing me"?
57
00:02:45,208 --> 00:02:46,875
[music plays]
58
00:02:46,958 --> 00:02:47,958
Goulet?
59
00:02:48,458 --> 00:02:51,958
Well, this fucking day
just keeps getting better and better.
60
00:02:53,791 --> 00:02:55,291
[gibbering]
61
00:02:57,375 --> 00:02:59,791
Damn it, Scatter! You shot me!
62
00:02:59,875 --> 00:03:01,375
[Scatter coughing]
63
00:03:03,333 --> 00:03:06,791
I swear to God, I should have
never gotten out of bed this morning.
64
00:03:06,875 --> 00:03:08,666
- [Scatter screeches]
- Oh what, huh?
65
00:03:08,750 --> 00:03:10,458
I'm not allowed to have a bad day?
66
00:03:13,625 --> 00:03:14,625
[driver] Aw, shit!
67
00:03:15,458 --> 00:03:17,500
[tires squealing]
68
00:03:19,125 --> 00:03:20,583
- [truck horn blares]
- [screams]
69
00:03:21,833 --> 00:03:22,875
[tires screech]
70
00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:30,125
[screams]
71
00:03:35,500 --> 00:03:39,708
Look here, pal. I've had a shit day,
so I'm gonna go ahead and kick your ass.
72
00:03:39,791 --> 00:03:40,791
Hyah!
73
00:03:43,708 --> 00:03:45,666
[woman] Huh? What in the hell?
74
00:03:45,750 --> 00:03:47,250
[man] Holy shit. Is that Elvis?
75
00:03:49,291 --> 00:03:51,500
♪ For the next three weeks
I went hunting them nights ♪
76
00:03:51,583 --> 00:03:53,143
♪ Just looking for a place to play... ♪
77
00:03:53,583 --> 00:03:54,916
[yells]
78
00:03:55,625 --> 00:03:57,708
♪ But nobody wanted to hire a guitar man ♪
79
00:03:57,791 --> 00:03:59,166
[grunting]
80
00:04:01,083 --> 00:04:02,083
[gun hammer cocks]
81
00:04:04,291 --> 00:04:06,791
[shouts and shrieks]
82
00:04:07,875 --> 00:04:09,458
[grunting]
83
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:12,875
♪ I run out of money and luck
So I bought me a ride ♪
84
00:04:12,958 --> 00:04:14,666
♪ Down to Macon, Georgia... ♪
85
00:04:17,541 --> 00:04:20,000
♪ Started picking out
Some of them all-night bars ♪
86
00:04:20,083 --> 00:04:23,458
♪ Hoping I could make myself a dollar
Making music on my guitar ♪
87
00:04:24,125 --> 00:04:26,375
♪ I got the same old story
At them all-night piers ♪
88
00:04:26,458 --> 00:04:28,892
♪ You know there ain't no room around here
For a guitar man ♪
89
00:04:28,916 --> 00:04:29,916
Sorry about that.
90
00:04:30,750 --> 00:04:33,000
Oh my God, Elvis. That was amazing.
91
00:04:33,083 --> 00:04:34,250
What was all that?
92
00:04:34,833 --> 00:04:35,958
[Elvis] Oh that? Yeah.
93
00:04:36,041 --> 00:04:38,125
You know, that... That was a rehearsal.
94
00:04:38,208 --> 00:04:40,333
It's what I'm doing for my new TV show.
95
00:04:40,416 --> 00:04:42,250
Jesus, is that guy okay?
96
00:04:42,333 --> 00:04:44,333
[Elvis] Oh yeah,
that's just fake blood, everybody.
97
00:04:44,375 --> 00:04:45,708
And that there is fake, uh...
98
00:04:45,791 --> 00:04:47,500
Well, whatever that is. And...
99
00:04:47,583 --> 00:04:48,958
What's the new show called?
100
00:04:50,916 --> 00:04:53,250
[intense music]
101
00:04:57,083 --> 00:04:59,083
[feedback drones]
102
00:04:59,583 --> 00:05:01,375
[Elvis] Rise and shine, asshole.
103
00:05:01,458 --> 00:05:03,375
[driver] Oh, where am I?
104
00:05:04,041 --> 00:05:06,750
Oh, you are fucking dead. I'll fucking...
105
00:05:06,833 --> 00:05:08,541
Jesus Christ.
106
00:05:08,625 --> 00:05:11,750
You gotta be dumber
than a mud fence to be talking right now.
107
00:05:11,833 --> 00:05:14,125
That's my friend, Bobby Ray.
108
00:05:14,208 --> 00:05:15,666
You might want to listen to him.
109
00:05:16,250 --> 00:05:20,666
Which house rule
am I thinking about right now?
110
00:05:20,750 --> 00:05:23,041
Definitely not the one
about personal space.
111
00:05:23,125 --> 00:05:27,541
You promised none of your vigilante
nonsense in this house, remember?
112
00:05:27,625 --> 00:05:29,416
Won't even know we're here,
Miss Bertie.
113
00:05:29,500 --> 00:05:32,833
Hey, when I get out of this,
I'm gonna fucking...
114
00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:34,458
More or less.
115
00:05:34,958 --> 00:05:35,958
Mm.
116
00:05:36,541 --> 00:05:38,416
That was Bertie, my rock.
117
00:05:38,500 --> 00:05:41,375
Runs everything around here,
known me since I was in diapers.
118
00:05:41,458 --> 00:05:45,708
And speaking of diapers, you see my chimp,
Scatter, over there with the hand cannon?
119
00:05:46,333 --> 00:05:47,750
[growls]
120
00:05:47,833 --> 00:05:49,958
That is a problem for you, friend.
121
00:05:50,041 --> 00:05:51,625
You see, I decided a while ago,
122
00:05:51,708 --> 00:05:54,791
I wasn't gonna just sit around
while this country's torn apart
123
00:05:54,875 --> 00:05:59,583
by all the chaos, the dirtbag hippies,
the drugs, the crime.
124
00:05:59,666 --> 00:06:01,791
No, no, no, not on my watch.
125
00:06:01,875 --> 00:06:02,708
But Scatter here?
126
00:06:02,791 --> 00:06:05,583
Hell, he just does it
because he gets off to it.
127
00:06:05,666 --> 00:06:07,375
Not where I was going with that.
128
00:06:07,458 --> 00:06:09,583
- [gibbers]
- You know, here's an idea.
129
00:06:09,666 --> 00:06:12,166
Maybe try not
being disgusting all the time,
130
00:06:12,250 --> 00:06:16,250
including in the hot tub that you clogged
with your damn monkey spunk.
131
00:06:16,333 --> 00:06:18,250
That filter looked like a war crime!
132
00:06:18,958 --> 00:06:22,708
Look at me. Here and now is
where you tell me who sent you to kill me.
133
00:06:22,791 --> 00:06:24,625
Fuck you, singer boy.
134
00:06:24,708 --> 00:06:26,166
They're not paying me to talk.
135
00:06:26,250 --> 00:06:28,250
They? Well, who the hell's "they"?
136
00:06:29,041 --> 00:06:33,541
Now you listen to me, scumbag. I promise
you Scatter's going to pull that trigger...
137
00:06:33,625 --> 00:06:35,583
- [gunshot]
- [Bobby Ray] Oh fuck!
138
00:06:36,083 --> 00:06:37,291
"If"!
139
00:06:37,375 --> 00:06:40,500
Goddamn it, Scatter.
I was gonna say, "If" he didn't talk!
140
00:06:40,583 --> 00:06:41,708
[chatters]
141
00:06:42,208 --> 00:06:45,458
Not sticking up for the chimp here,
boss, but it was a little confusing.
142
00:06:45,541 --> 00:06:46,625
[Bertie] So...
143
00:06:46,708 --> 00:06:49,500
is this me not knowing you're here?
144
00:06:49,583 --> 00:06:51,083
Just a little hiccup, Miss Bertie.
145
00:06:51,166 --> 00:06:53,000
Just a little hiccup. Everything's fine.
146
00:06:53,875 --> 00:06:56,291
Though technically
the living room has seen better days.
147
00:06:56,375 --> 00:06:58,916
You know, there are ways
148
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:01,916
to turn you into
a quarter-sleeve cardigan.
149
00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:04,458
You need to clean this up, now.
150
00:07:04,541 --> 00:07:06,750
Because that sweater thing
sounded real specific.
151
00:07:06,833 --> 00:07:08,375
[gibbering]
152
00:07:09,333 --> 00:07:11,791
- Yeah. Like I know where the mop is.
- [door closes]
153
00:07:11,875 --> 00:07:13,333
- Pull!
- [Scatter coos]
154
00:07:14,125 --> 00:07:15,416
[gunshot]
155
00:07:15,500 --> 00:07:19,208
I swear this crime-fighting crap's
gonna get you killed one day.
156
00:07:19,291 --> 00:07:21,375
Yeah, but this one wasn't my fault.
157
00:07:21,458 --> 00:07:24,250
The guy with the exploded head
started the whole damn thing.
158
00:07:24,333 --> 00:07:26,041
[Bertie] Just like that, huh?
159
00:07:26,125 --> 00:07:28,750
[Elvis]
All I know is somebody wants me dead.
160
00:07:28,833 --> 00:07:29,708
Pull!
161
00:07:29,791 --> 00:07:31,250
- [Scatter shouts]
- [gunshot]
162
00:07:31,333 --> 00:07:33,750
You know, my money's on them Bolivians.
163
00:07:33,833 --> 00:07:35,291
Negatory.
164
00:07:35,375 --> 00:07:38,541
All those guys
are not really around anymore.
165
00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:40,583
What is that? A to-go bag?
166
00:07:40,666 --> 00:07:41,833
Put that shit back.
167
00:07:42,625 --> 00:07:45,125
Hey! What about that mob guy
you ran into in Miami
168
00:07:45,208 --> 00:07:46,750
when you were doing that Sinatra show?
169
00:07:47,958 --> 00:07:49,125
[Elvis] Definitely not him.
170
00:07:49,208 --> 00:07:51,166
There's that biker gang from last month.
171
00:07:55,708 --> 00:07:57,750
Not after that explosion, there isn't.
172
00:07:57,833 --> 00:07:59,958
Or maybe just another jealous husband
173
00:08:00,041 --> 00:08:03,916
sick of his wife flooding her basement
every time you're on the TV... Ow!
174
00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:05,833
Doesn't really narrow it down, does it?
175
00:08:05,916 --> 00:08:08,750
Besides, though, this felt different.
This guy... This guy was a pro.
176
00:08:08,833 --> 00:08:10,625
You even hear yourself?
177
00:08:10,708 --> 00:08:13,291
I promised your mama
I was gonna look after you,
178
00:08:13,375 --> 00:08:15,166
but if she was alive today, she'd...
179
00:08:15,250 --> 00:08:18,958
Say, "Thank you, Elvis, for trying
to make the world a better place."
180
00:08:19,458 --> 00:08:22,166
"You're such a good boy, Elvis.
How about a snack?"
181
00:08:22,250 --> 00:08:24,458
Oh, and then Mom would
probably cover her ears,
182
00:08:24,541 --> 00:08:26,416
because this is going to get real loud.
183
00:08:26,500 --> 00:08:28,166
Wait, wait, wait! Check it out, E.
184
00:08:28,250 --> 00:08:30,833
Got bored and souped up
a pair of your sunglasses for you.
185
00:08:32,416 --> 00:08:34,125
[Elvis, chuckling] Yeah.
186
00:08:34,916 --> 00:08:35,916
Watch this.
187
00:08:36,375 --> 00:08:38,375
[mellow music playing]
188
00:08:40,416 --> 00:08:42,250
[gunshots]
189
00:08:45,125 --> 00:08:46,041
[Bobby Ray] Hang on.
190
00:08:46,125 --> 00:08:49,666
What happened to all the Christmas stuff?
There was a bunch of tinsel and shit.
191
00:08:49,750 --> 00:08:51,166
I'm taking this thing over.
192
00:08:51,250 --> 00:08:53,125
It's not gonna be
a Christmas special anymore.
193
00:08:53,208 --> 00:08:54,041
Well, what then?
194
00:08:54,125 --> 00:08:55,416
Glad you asked, buddy.
195
00:08:55,500 --> 00:08:58,708
Because if I can dream,
this show's gonna make a statement.
196
00:08:58,791 --> 00:09:00,333
- A statement?
- Damn straight.
197
00:09:00,416 --> 00:09:02,291
Just full-tilt rock and roll, boys,
198
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:05,083
how we used to do it before
all the movies and all the bullshit.
199
00:09:05,166 --> 00:09:08,375
Now, that, my chiseled friend,
is what I'm talking about.
200
00:09:08,458 --> 00:09:10,250
Just you and the boys cranking it out.
201
00:09:10,333 --> 00:09:12,125
Already got Scotty and DJ on a plane.
202
00:09:12,208 --> 00:09:14,000
- Blowing the fucking doors off.
- Always.
203
00:09:14,083 --> 00:09:16,791
If we deck this place out
with, like, a shit-ton of balloons...
204
00:09:16,875 --> 00:09:18,559
- [Elvis] What?
- ...multicolored streamers,
205
00:09:18,583 --> 00:09:20,333
and... Ooh! Bunting.
206
00:09:21,166 --> 00:09:23,125
Absolutely not. Go get the car.
207
00:09:25,750 --> 00:09:27,291
- [door opens]
- [woman] Excuse me.
208
00:09:28,125 --> 00:09:30,833
[Elvis] Well, well, well.
Lady One, Lady Two, Lady Three.
209
00:09:30,916 --> 00:09:34,291
Yes, ma'am, yes, ma'am, and yes, ma'am.
Now, how'd you get in here?
210
00:09:34,375 --> 00:09:36,125
Any chance we can get a picture?
211
00:09:36,208 --> 00:09:38,583
Well, sure thing, you bet. Come here now.
212
00:09:39,916 --> 00:09:41,000
[camera clicking]
213
00:09:41,083 --> 00:09:44,125
Okay, last one, I swear.
214
00:09:44,208 --> 00:09:45,916
Sure, anything for the fans.
215
00:09:48,333 --> 00:09:50,708
Which you, apparently, are not.
216
00:09:50,791 --> 00:09:53,791
Okay, piggy, let's see those teeth.
217
00:09:54,416 --> 00:09:56,458
- Say...
- Wait. I think I know this one.
218
00:09:56,541 --> 00:09:57,750
Cheese, dipshits!
219
00:09:59,916 --> 00:10:01,041
Hyah!
220
00:10:03,916 --> 00:10:05,541
[electricity crackles]
221
00:10:07,041 --> 00:10:08,958
[Elvis]
Now that's what I'm talking about.
222
00:10:19,500 --> 00:10:20,500
[whistles]
223
00:10:23,958 --> 00:10:25,375
That was fucking weird, huh?
224
00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:27,708
- What the hell was all that?
- Just doing my job.
225
00:10:27,791 --> 00:10:29,708
- Sorry?
- [CeCe] Don't be. Later, gator!
226
00:10:31,166 --> 00:10:33,166
[producer] Uh, okay.
227
00:10:33,250 --> 00:10:34,500
I have a few notes.
228
00:10:35,791 --> 00:10:38,250
You mind telling me
what the hell's going on?
229
00:10:38,333 --> 00:10:43,416
Okay, this is gonna sound
a little/extremely weird, but
230
00:10:43,500 --> 00:10:45,500
- you're on a kill list.
- [motorcycle engine revs]
231
00:10:46,083 --> 00:10:48,041
I know. Sucks, am I right?
232
00:10:54,291 --> 00:10:55,958
Hey, what's up, boss man?
233
00:10:56,041 --> 00:10:57,541
Think I might be on a kill list.
234
00:10:57,625 --> 00:10:59,625
Hmm. Well, that sucks.
235
00:10:59,708 --> 00:11:00,958
Scatter, you got her?
236
00:11:01,041 --> 00:11:02,375
[inhales]
237
00:11:02,458 --> 00:11:03,500
[yells]
238
00:11:03,583 --> 00:11:06,458
Oh, you sure this is a good idea, E?
239
00:11:06,541 --> 00:11:09,583
When someone says, "Kill list,"
I've got a few follow-up questions.
240
00:11:09,666 --> 00:11:14,333
No. I mean, trusting the chimp
to track some woman's... lady parts scents.
241
00:11:14,833 --> 00:11:15,750
Scatter's got it.
242
00:11:15,833 --> 00:11:17,541
Does he? Because last time we tried this,
243
00:11:17,625 --> 00:11:19,833
we ended up
at Gloria Steinem's crawfish boil.
244
00:11:24,166 --> 00:11:25,500
You boys stay with the car,
245
00:11:25,583 --> 00:11:30,791
which means not buying coked-up hookers,
he said really clearly this time.
246
00:11:31,708 --> 00:11:33,583
If I'm not back in five, come and get me.
247
00:11:33,666 --> 00:11:35,666
[funky percussive music]
248
00:11:45,208 --> 00:11:46,083
[stammers]
249
00:11:46,166 --> 00:11:47,666
Mr. Presley?
250
00:11:47,750 --> 00:11:48,958
You got room for one more?
251
00:11:49,041 --> 00:11:51,416
Of course, sir. Let me just check.
252
00:11:51,500 --> 00:11:53,666
[Elvis] At ease, ace.
Wasn't really asking.
253
00:11:55,416 --> 00:11:57,416
[rock music]
254
00:11:58,416 --> 00:12:00,875
Now, there she is. Never got your name.
255
00:12:00,958 --> 00:12:02,583
No. And there's a reason for that.
256
00:12:02,666 --> 00:12:03,875
I want some answers.
257
00:12:03,958 --> 00:12:08,458
No, I think what you really want
is the scallops mimosa. Oh!
258
00:12:08,541 --> 00:12:10,583
- Sorry?
- Oh God, you won't be. Trust me.
259
00:12:10,666 --> 00:12:14,208
First time I tried some,
so good I literally shit my pants.
260
00:12:14,291 --> 00:12:16,891
You know, hearing that out loud,
they may have been undercooked...
261
00:12:16,958 --> 00:12:19,375
- Skip to the kill list.
- Oh, that.
262
00:12:19,458 --> 00:12:21,416
- Yeah, somebody wants you dead.
- Who?
263
00:12:21,500 --> 00:12:23,708
The name Charlie Manson
mean anything to you?
264
00:12:24,291 --> 00:12:25,791
[woman giggling]
265
00:12:25,875 --> 00:12:28,750
[woman] Ooh. Oh, you are bad!
266
00:12:29,250 --> 00:12:31,875
Oh no. Don't you fucking do it, Jughead!
267
00:12:31,958 --> 00:12:34,416
Hey there, daddy-o. Borrow a light?
268
00:12:34,500 --> 00:12:38,250
Ooh! Yes, ma'am.
You can borrow whatever the hell you want:
269
00:12:38,333 --> 00:12:40,541
a light, my car keys, my spleen.
270
00:12:41,041 --> 00:12:43,333
We'll borrow you too,
while we're at it, Jack.
271
00:12:43,416 --> 00:12:45,500
Don't just stand there, pick him up!
272
00:12:45,583 --> 00:12:47,375
Am I talking to myself here?
273
00:12:47,458 --> 00:12:51,416
That wasn't rhetorical. I'm really asking.
I've got six voices in my head right now.
274
00:12:52,125 --> 00:12:53,208
Absolute psychopath...
275
00:12:53,291 --> 00:12:54,875
[whispers inaudibly]
276
00:12:54,958 --> 00:12:59,666
...who, small side note,
technically just kidnapped your friend.
277
00:12:59,750 --> 00:13:02,416
- What?
- The one not wearing a diaper. Bobby Ray.
278
00:13:02,500 --> 00:13:04,180
Oh, the fucking waiter just tell you that?
279
00:13:04,208 --> 00:13:08,000
"Oh, did the fucking waiter..." Yeah.
We've got eyes everywhere. Creepy, right?
280
00:13:08,083 --> 00:13:09,833
You're not kidding. Where'd they take him?
281
00:13:09,916 --> 00:13:11,684
- Can't tell you that.
- You're coming with me.
282
00:13:11,708 --> 00:13:14,458
And cancel dinner
with a not-too-clingy radiologist
283
00:13:14,541 --> 00:13:16,791
with size 13 shoes and a beach house?
284
00:13:16,875 --> 00:13:18,375
[laughs] I don't think so.
285
00:13:18,458 --> 00:13:19,458
Try again.
286
00:13:19,875 --> 00:13:21,166
[guns cock]
287
00:13:21,250 --> 00:13:23,083
Mm. Careful.
288
00:13:26,416 --> 00:13:29,875
You don't look like an honorary
Shelby County deputy to me.
289
00:13:30,541 --> 00:13:33,916
You mind telling me why
Dean Martin has a .38 aimed at my head?
290
00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:35,791
That feels like a you problem.
291
00:13:35,875 --> 00:13:37,875
Well, speaking of "you problems,"
292
00:13:37,958 --> 00:13:40,791
if this Manson guy
really did take Bobby Ray...
293
00:13:42,041 --> 00:13:43,333
[rings]
294
00:13:43,916 --> 00:13:45,333
[growls]
295
00:13:45,416 --> 00:13:49,250
...then you're about to see
why we don't let Scatter drive. Ever.
296
00:13:50,041 --> 00:13:51,041
[all gasp]
297
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:54,833
[steam hissing]
298
00:13:55,333 --> 00:13:56,666
[dirt sifting]
299
00:13:58,500 --> 00:13:59,750
Let's take a ride.
300
00:14:00,333 --> 00:14:02,750
[upbeat rockabilly music playing]
301
00:14:05,333 --> 00:14:06,916
- Hey!
- [tires squeal]
302
00:14:10,708 --> 00:14:12,291
[CeCe] It's called Spahn Ranch.
303
00:14:12,375 --> 00:14:14,458
It used to be
a movie set for old westerns.
304
00:14:14,541 --> 00:14:16,125
Huh. Looks like nobody's home.
305
00:14:16,208 --> 00:14:18,625
[CeCe] No?
Well, "nobody" sure has a lot of horses.
306
00:14:18,708 --> 00:14:19,541
[Elvis] Good point.
307
00:14:19,625 --> 00:14:22,458
No shit. Trust me. This is home base
for Manson and his people.
308
00:14:22,541 --> 00:14:25,625
So, now can we cool it
with whatever the fuck this is?
309
00:14:25,708 --> 00:14:26,708
[snaps fingers]
310
00:14:28,375 --> 00:14:30,333
Oh. Don't mind if I do.
311
00:14:30,916 --> 00:14:32,541
[whispers] You're my new favorite.
312
00:14:33,083 --> 00:14:34,375
[gibbers]
313
00:14:34,458 --> 00:14:35,958
Only one way to find out.
314
00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:38,083
You can get out now.
315
00:14:38,166 --> 00:14:39,708
Hey, what do you think you're do...
316
00:14:42,708 --> 00:14:44,041
[thunder rumbling]
317
00:14:44,125 --> 00:14:45,250
[yelling]
318
00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:56,291
Uh, what am I doing? My job,
which is keeping you unmurdered.
319
00:14:56,375 --> 00:14:58,375
And more importantly,
getting high with a monkey.
320
00:14:58,458 --> 00:15:00,250
Either way, can we hurry this up?
321
00:15:05,375 --> 00:15:06,833
[CeCe groaning]
322
00:15:06,916 --> 00:15:09,875
So boring.
You know your friend's already dead...
323
00:15:09,958 --> 00:15:11,541
Hey, let me tell you something.
324
00:15:11,625 --> 00:15:13,291
Bobby Ray grew up in the backwoods,
325
00:15:13,375 --> 00:15:16,250
where the only things to do were
making moonshine and catching rabies.
326
00:15:16,333 --> 00:15:17,333
Uh-huh.
327
00:15:17,375 --> 00:15:20,208
And what is your insanely grim point here?
328
00:15:20,291 --> 00:15:21,791
Bobby Ray is a survivor.
329
00:15:23,916 --> 00:15:25,166
- Stay here.
- [inhales sharply]
330
00:15:25,250 --> 00:15:26,291
Done.
331
00:15:26,375 --> 00:15:27,541
[cocks gun]
332
00:15:30,916 --> 00:15:32,833
[static crackling]
333
00:15:32,916 --> 00:15:34,750
[Elvis] Goddamn it, Bobby Ray.
334
00:15:36,458 --> 00:15:38,125
[floorboards creaking]
335
00:15:40,166 --> 00:15:41,250
[thudding]
336
00:15:50,500 --> 00:15:52,500
[thudding continues]
337
00:15:57,083 --> 00:15:59,500
- [muffled screaming]
- [Elvis] Sweet mother of God.
338
00:16:00,416 --> 00:16:03,375
Hey! Hey, they may be coming back soon.
339
00:16:03,458 --> 00:16:05,333
So let's get you out of here.
340
00:16:05,416 --> 00:16:07,541
What? No, I mean to fuck me again.
341
00:16:07,625 --> 00:16:11,375
Seriously, E, these batshit-crazy
free-love chicks are on fire.
342
00:16:11,458 --> 00:16:13,083
[Elvis] Uh, is that blood?
343
00:16:13,166 --> 00:16:17,041
Okay, yeah, the sex got a little dark.
Not proud of it, but I'd do it again.
344
00:16:17,125 --> 00:16:18,583
[discordant strumming]
345
00:16:18,666 --> 00:16:20,166
What in the hell is that?
346
00:16:23,541 --> 00:16:26,000
Whoa, whoa, easy with the gun, man.
347
00:16:26,583 --> 00:16:28,333
What's with all the hostility?
348
00:16:28,833 --> 00:16:31,000
You assholes kidnapped my friend.
349
00:16:31,083 --> 00:16:32,000
Kidnapped?
350
00:16:32,083 --> 00:16:33,083
[all laugh]
351
00:16:33,833 --> 00:16:36,791
Who are you,
the charred remains of my last lawyer?
352
00:16:37,416 --> 00:16:40,708
No, we just borrowed your friend
to get you here.
353
00:16:41,208 --> 00:16:43,916
Now, relax, grab a seat.
354
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:46,791
We're all friendly here.
355
00:16:47,750 --> 00:16:49,958
- [man] Join us.
- [woman] Come join us, man.
356
00:16:50,041 --> 00:16:51,416
- Right.
- Hey, E?
357
00:16:51,500 --> 00:16:53,000
Maybe let's get the hell out of here.
358
00:16:54,958 --> 00:16:58,833
So, you gonna introduce us
to your fun new friends?
359
00:16:58,916 --> 00:17:00,958
- Just fucking drive, Bobby Ray.
- Yep!
360
00:17:01,041 --> 00:17:02,333
[tires squeal]
361
00:17:03,375 --> 00:17:06,875
Step on it. Maybe I can still make dinner
with Dr. Timmy and his insanely big...
362
00:17:17,333 --> 00:17:18,666
[moans softly]
363
00:17:19,791 --> 00:17:20,791
[Elvis] What?
364
00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:23,416
Nice nap?
365
00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:24,750
What the hell is this?
366
00:17:24,833 --> 00:17:26,083
Oh, this? [snickers]
367
00:17:26,166 --> 00:17:29,375
This is the gallows they used
filming Linda and Abilene,
368
00:17:29,458 --> 00:17:32,375
an underappreciated psychosexual western.
369
00:17:32,458 --> 00:17:33,916
And these folks here?
370
00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:36,500
These are my people, man!
371
00:17:36,583 --> 00:17:38,708
- [all cheer]
- Thank you, yes!
372
00:17:38,791 --> 00:17:39,625
[laughs]
373
00:17:39,708 --> 00:17:43,250
So are they here to just fuck around in
the dirt or to watch you try and kill me?
374
00:17:43,333 --> 00:17:46,625
Kill you? Oh no, brother.
What the hell are you talking about?
375
00:17:46,708 --> 00:17:47,916
- [Elvis] The kill list.
- Ugh.
376
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:50,333
I told Bloodlust Charlie
not to call it that.
377
00:17:50,416 --> 00:17:52,500
But then Angry Charlie told me,
"Shut the fuck up!"
378
00:17:52,583 --> 00:17:53,851
- No, you shut up.
- You shut up!
379
00:17:53,875 --> 00:17:55,625
- Be quiet.
- Whose voice is that?
380
00:17:55,708 --> 00:17:56,708
Everyone be quiet.
381
00:17:56,791 --> 00:17:58,000
Shh.
382
00:17:58,083 --> 00:18:01,083
Nothing completely insane
about any of that.
383
00:18:01,166 --> 00:18:02,041
Can I go now?
384
00:18:02,125 --> 00:18:03,041
Sure.
385
00:18:03,125 --> 00:18:05,041
Well, assuming you want
to join the family.
386
00:18:05,125 --> 00:18:06,916
Family? What fucking family?
387
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:09,375
We're all brothers and sisters here, man.
388
00:18:09,458 --> 00:18:11,708
We're a family. Seriously.
389
00:18:11,791 --> 00:18:13,333
Jerry over there does the dishes.
390
00:18:13,416 --> 00:18:15,208
Martha's in charge of snacks.
391
00:18:15,291 --> 00:18:16,500
Frank gets the drugs.
392
00:18:16,583 --> 00:18:18,958
Betty over there,
well, she gets drugs too.
393
00:18:19,041 --> 00:18:21,791
Actually, pretty much
everybody else gets drugs.
394
00:18:21,875 --> 00:18:23,833
Don't forget to get drugs, everybody!
395
00:18:23,916 --> 00:18:25,541
Now, I know what you're thinking.
396
00:18:25,625 --> 00:18:28,250
You're worried you might not fit in.
397
00:18:28,333 --> 00:18:29,625
[Elvis] Losing sleep over it.
398
00:18:29,708 --> 00:18:31,583
You just got to give it time, man.
399
00:18:31,666 --> 00:18:34,833
After we force-feed you LSD
for three straight months,
400
00:18:34,916 --> 00:18:38,666
I promise you, you're gonna feel the love.
401
00:18:38,750 --> 00:18:42,833
And by that, I mean
we fuck each other constantly, am I right?
402
00:18:42,916 --> 00:18:44,666
- [all cheer]
- [laughs]
403
00:18:44,750 --> 00:18:47,333
Yeah, bravo. Afraid I'm not your guy.
404
00:18:47,416 --> 00:18:49,875
Of course you are. Don't you get it?
405
00:18:49,958 --> 00:18:50,791
Pretend I don't.
406
00:18:50,875 --> 00:18:52,625
You and me, we're the same.
407
00:18:52,708 --> 00:18:57,875
We're both electric personalities,
making music that'll change the world.
408
00:18:57,958 --> 00:18:59,375
- Music?
- With the help of you
409
00:18:59,458 --> 00:19:02,916
and everybody else on this list,
I'm going all the way to the top.
410
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:03,916
What the hell are you...
411
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:06,000
- [off-key chanting]
- [strums]
412
00:19:09,958 --> 00:19:11,083
Sweet mother of God.
413
00:19:11,166 --> 00:19:13,291
Does that answer your question?
414
00:19:13,375 --> 00:19:15,791
- Not the way I think you wanted.
- So what do you say?
415
00:19:15,875 --> 00:19:17,416
[whispering] Yes. Say yes.
416
00:19:17,500 --> 00:19:20,500
I'd say, if I wanted to hang out
with a bunch of shitbag hippies,
417
00:19:20,583 --> 00:19:22,375
I'd return Dennis Hopper's phone calls.
418
00:19:22,458 --> 00:19:23,583
[gunshot]
419
00:19:25,291 --> 00:19:26,416
[crowd cheers]
420
00:19:26,500 --> 00:19:28,416
- E!
- Oh, goddamn it.
421
00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:31,583
You know, I'm not so much angry
as I am disappointed.
422
00:19:31,666 --> 00:19:33,041
I blame myself, really.
423
00:19:33,125 --> 00:19:35,291
The king piggy goes down, man.
424
00:19:35,375 --> 00:19:39,375
[crowd, chanting]
Charlie! Charlie! Charlie!
425
00:19:39,458 --> 00:19:40,458
[Elvis] Hey.
426
00:19:40,916 --> 00:19:43,250
You owe me a new badge, dickhead.
427
00:19:46,916 --> 00:19:49,166
Oh God. Oh Daddy, is anything broken?
428
00:19:50,083 --> 00:19:51,250
Get him.
429
00:19:51,791 --> 00:19:54,500
Okay, some of those
seem awfully big to keep in your pants.
430
00:19:54,583 --> 00:19:55,583
[shouts]
431
00:19:56,875 --> 00:19:59,000
[rousing rock music playing]
432
00:20:00,166 --> 00:20:02,250
[growls and shrieks]
433
00:20:02,333 --> 00:20:03,625
[all yell]
434
00:20:07,875 --> 00:20:09,250
[woman shrieks]
435
00:20:11,041 --> 00:20:12,625
[screams]
436
00:20:16,250 --> 00:20:17,541
[panting]
437
00:20:20,416 --> 00:20:22,291
Huh. Well, that's new.
438
00:20:22,375 --> 00:20:23,791
They're not going down!
439
00:20:23,875 --> 00:20:26,250
They're like hippie zombies!
440
00:20:26,333 --> 00:20:27,625
Even better.
441
00:20:27,708 --> 00:20:29,875
They're so high, they can't feel a thing.
442
00:20:29,958 --> 00:20:32,291
[laughing] It's beautiful, man!
443
00:20:32,375 --> 00:20:35,291
Blah, blah, blah!
God, it's nonstop with that guy.
444
00:20:36,541 --> 00:20:37,625
[gibbering]
445
00:20:37,708 --> 00:20:39,375
[man] No! Let go!
446
00:20:39,458 --> 00:20:40,458
[explosion]
447
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:46,083
[neighs]
448
00:20:47,708 --> 00:20:48,708
[blade rings]
449
00:20:58,416 --> 00:20:59,500
Shit.
450
00:21:01,750 --> 00:21:04,125
[CeCe] Hey, jackass. This...
451
00:21:04,208 --> 00:21:05,767
This is why I didn't want to come here.
452
00:21:05,791 --> 00:21:07,333
No! [sobbing]
453
00:21:08,708 --> 00:21:10,166
Fucking animals!
454
00:21:10,250 --> 00:21:13,083
Look what you did to my beautiful family.
455
00:21:13,666 --> 00:21:15,625
Now you have to pay.
456
00:21:15,708 --> 00:21:17,416
- Huh. Okay.
- A grenade?
457
00:21:18,125 --> 00:21:19,250
- [horses whinny]
- Ah!
458
00:21:22,041 --> 00:21:23,041
[gibbering]
459
00:21:23,125 --> 00:21:25,833
Planet of the Apes.
God, he loves that movie.
460
00:21:26,458 --> 00:21:27,458
Aw, fuck.
461
00:21:28,208 --> 00:21:29,833
[Charles screams]
462
00:21:30,791 --> 00:21:32,333
[sobs]
463
00:21:33,791 --> 00:21:37,333
You killed my sister/daughter-wife!
464
00:21:37,416 --> 00:21:38,833
You fucking ass...
465
00:21:39,666 --> 00:21:41,125
[bones crunch]
466
00:21:43,416 --> 00:21:47,250
Say, I've been meaning to ask you.
Nice outfit. What kind of leather's that?
467
00:21:47,333 --> 00:21:50,291
- Italian. I'm not an animal.
- Where do you get something like that?
468
00:21:50,375 --> 00:21:52,458
With your waistline? You don't.
469
00:21:54,750 --> 00:21:56,333
You sure we can't give you a ride?
470
00:21:56,416 --> 00:21:59,875
Nope, nope. Got some cleaning up to do.
Don't worry, we got people.
471
00:22:00,625 --> 00:22:02,250
[groaning]
472
00:22:04,625 --> 00:22:05,625
"We" being...?
473
00:22:05,708 --> 00:22:08,416
- Good luck with the show.
- Hey, speaking of... Bobby Ray!
474
00:22:08,500 --> 00:22:11,125
- Yo!
- Score our new friend here some tickets.
475
00:22:11,208 --> 00:22:13,416
Oh. Thanks, but no, thanks.
476
00:22:13,500 --> 00:22:15,208
Not a big rock and roll fan, huh?
477
00:22:15,291 --> 00:22:16,875
Sure, sure, let's go with that.
478
00:22:18,125 --> 00:22:19,833
[Scatter chattering]
479
00:22:21,375 --> 00:22:22,666
[chuckles]
480
00:22:22,750 --> 00:22:24,333
Definitely my favorite.
481
00:22:24,416 --> 00:22:26,541
[Elvis] ♪ ...of a better land ♪
482
00:22:26,625 --> 00:22:29,958
♪ Where all my brothers
Walk hand in hand ♪
483
00:22:30,041 --> 00:22:33,291
♪ Tell me why, oh why ♪
484
00:22:33,375 --> 00:22:39,083
♪ Oh why can't my dream come true? ♪
485
00:22:41,083 --> 00:22:43,125
♪ Oh why? ♪
486
00:22:44,416 --> 00:22:48,666
♪ There must be peace and understanding ♪
487
00:22:49,208 --> 00:22:50,750
♪ Sometime ♪
488
00:22:51,833 --> 00:22:54,333
♪ Strong winds of promise ♪
489
00:22:54,416 --> 00:22:56,250
♪ That will blow away ♪
490
00:22:56,333 --> 00:22:59,583
♪ All the doubt and fear ♪
491
00:22:59,666 --> 00:23:01,786
[song continues quietly over radio]
♪ If I can dream ♪
492
00:23:01,833 --> 00:23:03,541
♪ Of a warmer sun... ♪
493
00:23:04,708 --> 00:23:05,791
[The Commander] So,
494
00:23:05,875 --> 00:23:07,125
you think he's ready?
495
00:23:07,208 --> 00:23:10,125
You tell me, boss. How'd he do
on your little fake limo assassin test?
496
00:23:11,708 --> 00:23:15,083
[The Commander] Yeah, um, been meaning
to talk to you about that.
497
00:23:16,916 --> 00:23:19,000
- What?
- Were you and Doug... close?
498
00:23:19,083 --> 00:23:21,767
I don't know, we were kinda dating,
mostly over-the-pants stuff, why?
499
00:23:21,791 --> 00:23:22,625
Mm. Mm-hmm.
500
00:23:22,708 --> 00:23:26,416
Well, because I gave Doug
the limo assignment, and it didn't go...
501
00:23:26,916 --> 00:23:28,041
Gosh, what's the word?
502
00:23:28,125 --> 00:23:29,041
Uh, perfectly.
503
00:23:29,125 --> 00:23:30,833
Oh. He's a big boy. He'll be fine.
504
00:23:30,916 --> 00:23:33,666
Well... [chuckles]
...maybe I'm underselling this a bit.
505
00:23:33,750 --> 00:23:37,000
The monkey shot him in the face
and blew his head off.
506
00:23:37,083 --> 00:23:38,083
Seriously?
507
00:23:38,541 --> 00:23:40,041
Yes. I'm making my serious face.
508
00:23:40,875 --> 00:23:42,875
Meh. He was kind of a dick anyway.
509
00:23:43,375 --> 00:23:46,458
♪ Oh, let it come true right now ♪
510
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:50,166
♪ Oh yeah ♪
511
00:23:51,291 --> 00:23:55,916
[chorus] ♪ Oh yeah ♪
512
00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:57,916
- [music ends]
- [audience cheers]
513
00:23:58,000 --> 00:23:59,916
Thank you, and good night.
514
00:24:03,208 --> 00:24:05,458
[upbeat rockabilly music]