1
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{\an8}‪(1968年 加州 伯班克 NBC电视台)

2
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{\an8}‪好!

3
00:00:55,418 --> 00:00:58,251
‪《麻烦》是猫王埃尔维斯的
‪经典歌曲之一

4
00:00:58,251 --> 00:00:59,168
‪音响如何?

5
00:00:59,168 --> 00:01:01,084
‪很好 感觉很棒

6
00:01:01,084 --> 00:01:05,501
‪这首歌一定很炸 这是好事

7
00:01:05,501 --> 00:01:07,626
‪要不要试试来个更有...

8
00:01:08,751 --> 00:01:09,834
‪圣诞氛围的版本?

9
00:01:10,334 --> 00:01:14,709
‪说到圣诞版本 我可能还要再想想看

10
00:01:14,709 --> 00:01:16,376
‪知道了 很好 想得好

11
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‪那就先试试
‪跟小提姆和猫王精灵合唱一下

12
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‪有什么想法吗?

13
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‪(圣诞快乐)

14
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‪(19号录影棚)

15
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‪两位小姐

16
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‪我的妈啊 斯盖特

17
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‪我叫你“在礼车上等一下”
‪这句话就这么难懂吗?

18
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‪搞什么鬼?

19
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‪你说过我们可以跟猫王独处的

20
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‪你知道你的背心有个口袋吧?

21
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‪喂?

22
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‪亲爱的 是不是太晚打给你了?

23
00:02:01,751 --> 00:02:04,876
‪对女儿就太晚了 她睡得很香呢

24
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‪替我亲她一下

25
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‪亲爱的 你的语气听起来很累
‪你还好吧?

26
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‪我也说不上来 普瑞希拉

27
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‪感觉外面的世界要失控了
‪而我还被困在原地

28
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‪演出上校给我签好的烂俗圣诞特辑

29
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‪这场圣诞特辑一定会很精彩的

30
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‪对啊 因为有猫王精灵在嘛

31
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‪不会吧?“猫王精灵”?

32
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‪不骗你 真人更难看

33
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‪不会吧?

34
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‪喂?普瑞希拉?

35
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‪司机 电话怎么回事?

36
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‪不好意思 赶时间

37
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‪赶时间干吗?

38
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‪赶时间干活 也就是干掉你

39
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‪也不知道怎么回事
‪他们要你听着这首歌上路

40
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‪他刚刚说要干掉我 对吗?

41
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‪(顾雷特)

42
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‪顾雷特的歌?

43
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‪今天只会一直倒霉下去

44
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‪真他妈的 斯盖特 你射到我了!

45
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‪我真希望今早没从床上爬起来

46
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‪怎么?
‪我就不能有心情不好的一天吗?

47
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‪该死的!

48
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{\an8}‪(投尼克松一票 停战!)

49
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‪老兄 给我听好 我今天倒霉透了

50
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‪所以我打算狠狠地揍你一顿

51
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‪搞什么鬼?

52
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‪我的妈啊 那是猫王吗?

53
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‪放开我!

54
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‪不好意思

55
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‪天啊 埃尔维斯 好厉害!

56
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‪到底怎么回事?

57
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‪刚才吗?

58
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‪我们刚刚在排演

59
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‪我在为新剧彩排

60
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‪天啊 这家伙没事吧?

61
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‪血是假的 还有假的...

62
00:04:45,751 --> 00:04:47,543
‪总之都是假的 还有...

63
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‪新剧叫什么来着?

64
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‪片名:特务猫王

65
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‪起床了 王八蛋

66
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‪这是什么地方?

67
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‪你死定了 我要干掉...

68
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{\an8}‪天啊

69
00:05:08,584 --> 00:05:11,793
{\an8}‪都这个时候了还敢叫嚣
‪你脑袋被驴踢了吧

70
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{\an8}‪他是我的好兄弟鲍比·雷

71
00:05:14,168 --> 00:05:15,709
{\an8}‪你最好相信他的话

72
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{\an8}‪你又触犯了哪一条家规了?

73
00:05:20,709 --> 00:05:23,084
{\an8}‪绝对不是“不准擅闯私人空间”

74
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{\an8}‪你说好不会在这屋里搞私刑正义了
‪你忘了吗?

75
00:05:27,584 --> 00:05:29,459
{\an8}‪我担保一会儿屋里就跟没人来过一样

76
00:05:29,459 --> 00:05:32,876
{\an8}‪等我脱身后 我一定要干掉...

77
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{\an8}‪跟新的没两样

78
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{\an8}‪她是贝蒂 我的靠山

79
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{\an8}‪她是这里的老大
‪从我还裹尿片时就看着我长大

80
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{\an8}‪说到尿片 你也看到我养的猩猩
‪斯盖特手上握着一把枪了

81
00:05:47,876 --> 00:05:50,001
{\an8}‪这对你可不妙啊 老兄

82
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{\an8}‪我前阵子下定决心
‪不再眼睁睁看着这个国家

83
00:05:54,834 --> 00:05:59,626
{\an8}‪被动荡的局势、没用的嬉皮士
‪毒品和违法勾当给摧毁

84
00:05:59,626 --> 00:06:01,626
{\an8}‪休想在我眼皮底下放肆

85
00:06:01,626 --> 00:06:02,751
{\an8}‪但斯盖特就不同了

86
00:06:02,751 --> 00:06:05,626
{\an8}‪这家伙任意妄为 犯罪是他的催情剂

87
00:06:05,626 --> 00:06:07,626
{\an8}‪没叫你摸那个部位

88
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{\an8}‪听我说句劝

89
00:06:09,626 --> 00:06:12,209
{\an8}‪有时麻烦你注意一下卫生

90
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{\an8}‪例如保持按摩浴缸的清洁
‪都被你恶心的“猩液”堵住了

91
00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:18,293
{\an8}‪浴缸的过滤器简直让人想犯罪!

92
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{\an8}‪看着我 马上告诉我
‪是谁派你来暗杀我的?

93
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{\an8}‪去你妈的 偶像歌手

94
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{\an8}‪他们付钱给我不是要我说话

95
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{\an8}‪“他们”?“他们”到底是谁?

96
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{\an8}‪兔崽子 给我听好
‪如果你不说 斯盖特一定会扣动扳机...

97
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{\an8}‪我的妈啊!

98
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{\an8}‪我都说“如果”了!

99
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{\an8}‪真他妈的 斯盖特
‪我说“如果”他不说你才开枪!

100
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{\an8}‪我没有要替它平反的意思
‪但你的确说得有点含糊

101
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{\an8}‪好啊

102
00:06:46,668 --> 00:06:49,543
{\an8}‪这叫“就跟没人来过一样”吗?

103
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{\an8}‪贝蒂小姐 出了一点小状况 一切安好

104
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{\an8}‪严格说来 客厅曾有更脏乱差的时候

105
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{\an8}‪要把你变成一件八分袖毛衣
‪并不是什么难事

106
00:07:01,959 --> 00:07:04,501
‪赶紧清理干净 快点

107
00:07:04,501 --> 00:07:06,918
‪用你来做毛衣好像真行得通

108
00:07:09,376 --> 00:07:11,418
‪我怎么知道拖把在哪里?

109
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‪抛!

110
00:07:15,668 --> 00:07:19,251
‪你这种打击罪犯的行为
‪迟早让你赔上性命

111
00:07:19,251 --> 00:07:21,418
‪没错 但这次不是我的错

112
00:07:21,418 --> 00:07:24,293
‪是那个被爆头的家伙先来找茬的

113
00:07:24,293 --> 00:07:26,084
‪事情有这么简单吗?

114
00:07:26,084 --> 00:07:28,793
‪我只知道有人要我死

115
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‪抛!

116
00:07:31,376 --> 00:07:33,793
‪我敢打赌他们是玻利维亚人

117
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‪不可能

118
00:07:35,334 --> 00:07:38,584
‪那一伙人都不在了

119
00:07:38,584 --> 00:07:40,626
‪你腋下夹着什么?是打包袋吗?

120
00:07:40,626 --> 00:07:41,876
‪把东西都放回去

121
00:07:42,668 --> 00:07:45,168
‪有没有可能是
‪你在迈阿密和辛纳屈一起登台时

122
00:07:45,168 --> 00:07:47,168
‪遇到的那个黑帮老大?

123
00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:49,168
‪绝对不是他

124
00:07:49,168 --> 00:07:51,209
‪你上个月也招惹上了一帮飞车党

125
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‪发生爆炸后 他们就不在了

126
00:07:57,793 --> 00:08:00,001
‪也许只是某个醋劲大发的老公

127
00:08:00,001 --> 00:08:03,959
‪妒忌老婆躲在地下室里
‪对着电视上的你自慰

128
00:08:03,959 --> 00:08:05,876
‪还是无法缩小嫌疑人范围 对吧?

129
00:08:05,876 --> 00:08:08,793
‪这次暗杀行动感觉有点不一样
‪这家伙是职业杀手

130
00:08:08,793 --> 00:08:10,668
‪你知道自己在说些什么吗?

131
00:08:10,668 --> 00:08:13,334
‪我答应过你妈会好好照顾你的

132
00:08:13,334 --> 00:08:15,209
‪如果她今天还活着 她就会...

133
00:08:15,209 --> 00:08:19,418
‪她就会说:“埃尔维斯
‪感谢你把这个世界变得更美好

134
00:08:19,418 --> 00:08:22,209
‪真是个好孩子 要不要吃点零食?”

135
00:08:22,209 --> 00:08:24,501
‪这时妈妈很可能会捂住耳朵

136
00:08:24,501 --> 00:08:26,459
‪因为这次枪声不是一般地响

137
00:08:26,459 --> 00:08:28,209
‪等一下 埃尔维斯 瞧这玩意

138
00:08:28,209 --> 00:08:30,876
‪我闷坏了
‪于是给你的墨镜进行改良了

139
00:08:34,251 --> 00:08:35,293
‪(顾雷特 练习靶)

140
00:08:35,293 --> 00:08:36,334
‪看好了

141
00:08:45,168 --> 00:08:46,084
‪等一下

142
00:08:46,084 --> 00:08:49,709
‪圣诞装饰都跑到哪里去了?
‪先前明明一大堆金箔彩灯的

143
00:08:49,709 --> 00:08:51,209
‪换我做主了

144
00:08:51,209 --> 00:08:53,168
‪我宣布取消圣诞特辑

145
00:08:53,168 --> 00:08:54,084
‪等着开天窗吗?

146
00:08:54,084 --> 00:08:55,459
‪老兄 多谢提醒

147
00:08:55,459 --> 00:08:58,751
‪我希望这场演出能成为一个标志

148
00:08:58,751 --> 00:09:00,376
‪-标志?
‪-没错

149
00:09:00,376 --> 00:09:02,334
‪摇滚到底

150
00:09:02,334 --> 00:09:05,126
‪电影等其他烂玩意流行起来前
‪我们只玩摇滚

151
00:09:05,126 --> 00:09:08,418
‪这才是我那个帅到没话说的老友嘛

152
00:09:08,418 --> 00:09:10,293
‪就你和那两个年轻人一起玩摇滚

153
00:09:10,293 --> 00:09:12,168
‪我已经安排斯科特和DJ坐飞机来了

154
00:09:12,168 --> 00:09:14,043
‪-一定燃爆全场
‪-还用说吗?

155
00:09:14,043 --> 00:09:16,834
‪如果能够用一大堆气球
‪来装饰这个舞台

156
00:09:16,834 --> 00:09:18,543
‪-什么?
‪-加上五颜六色的彩带

157
00:09:18,543 --> 00:09:20,376
‪还有小旗子

158
00:09:21,209 --> 00:09:23,168
‪绝对不行 你给我回车上去

159
00:09:24,626 --> 00:09:26,084
‪(出口)

160
00:09:26,084 --> 00:09:27,334
‪打扰一下

161
00:09:28,168 --> 00:09:30,876
‪瞧谁来了
‪一号美女、二号美女和三号美女

162
00:09:30,876 --> 00:09:34,834
‪美女们 有何贵干?
‪你们是怎么进来的?

163
00:09:34,834 --> 00:09:36,168
‪可以合影吗?

164
00:09:36,168 --> 00:09:38,626
‪没问题 当然可以 都靠近点

165
00:09:41,126 --> 00:09:44,168
‪好了 绝对是最后一张了

166
00:09:44,168 --> 00:09:45,959
‪没问题 粉丝有求必应

167
00:09:48,376 --> 00:09:50,334
‪你们显然都不是粉丝吧

168
00:09:50,834 --> 00:09:53,834
‪蠢货 笑一个

169
00:09:54,459 --> 00:09:56,501
‪-笑...
‪-等等 这句台词我懂

170
00:09:56,501 --> 00:09:57,793
‪笑一个 猪扒!

171
00:10:05,668 --> 00:10:07,001
‪(猫王埃尔维斯)

172
00:10:07,001 --> 00:10:09,001
‪这才像话嘛

173
00:10:24,001 --> 00:10:25,418
‪很莫名其妙吧?

174
00:10:25,418 --> 00:10:27,459
‪-到底怎么回事?
‪-我只是在做好本分

175
00:10:27,459 --> 00:10:29,543
‪-抱歉 你说什么?
‪-不用道歉 后会有期

176
00:10:32,793 --> 00:10:34,543
‪有几个注意事项

177
00:10:35,834 --> 00:10:38,293
‪介意告诉我到底怎么回事吗?

178
00:10:38,293 --> 00:10:43,459
‪你知道后可能会觉得
‪有点或非常莫名其妙 是这样的

179
00:10:43,459 --> 00:10:45,168
‪你被列入了暗杀名单

180
00:10:46,126 --> 00:10:48,084
‪很倒霉吧?

181
00:10:54,334 --> 00:10:56,001
‪老兄 怎么回事?

182
00:10:56,001 --> 00:10:57,751
‪我好像被列入暗杀名单了

183
00:10:58,584 --> 00:10:59,668
‪真倒霉

184
00:10:59,668 --> 00:11:01,126
‪斯盖特 闻到她的味道吗?

185
00:11:04,709 --> 00:11:06,501
‪埃尔维斯 这样真的合适吗?

186
00:11:06,501 --> 00:11:09,626
‪有人说我被列入暗杀名单
‪我一定要问个清楚才行

187
00:11:09,626 --> 00:11:12,001
‪你误会了 我是指你真相信
‪这只猩猩能通过

188
00:11:12,001 --> 00:11:14,376
‪女人下体的味道追踪她们的行踪?

189
00:11:14,876 --> 00:11:15,793
‪斯盖特有这种本事

190
00:11:15,793 --> 00:11:17,584
‪真的吗?上次我们试过了

191
00:11:17,584 --> 00:11:19,876
‪结果直逼
‪格洛丽亚·斯泰纳姆的“鲍鱼汤”

192
00:11:19,876 --> 00:11:23,626
‪(商人维克餐厅)

193
00:11:24,209 --> 00:11:25,543
‪你们待在车上

194
00:11:25,543 --> 00:11:30,834
‪不准嫖嗑药嗑嗨的小姐
‪这次我说得非常清楚

195
00:11:31,751 --> 00:11:33,626
‪如果我五分钟后没回来 就进来救我

196
00:11:46,209 --> 00:11:47,709
‪普雷斯利先生?

197
00:11:47,709 --> 00:11:49,001
‪还能再容纳一个人吗?

198
00:11:49,001 --> 00:11:51,459
‪没问题 我查查看

199
00:11:51,459 --> 00:11:53,709
‪别紧张 我也是问问罢了

200
00:11:58,459 --> 00:12:00,918
‪找到你了 还不知道你的名字呢

201
00:12:00,918 --> 00:12:02,626
‪没错 你本来就不应该知道

202
00:12:02,626 --> 00:12:03,918
‪我想问几个问题

203
00:12:03,918 --> 00:12:07,668
‪你搞错了 你真正想做的事是
‪点一道香烤酒醋干杯

204
00:12:08,584 --> 00:12:10,626
‪-抱歉 你说什么?
‪-不用道歉 相信我

205
00:12:10,626 --> 00:12:14,251
‪我第一次尝到时 好吃到跺脚

206
00:12:14,251 --> 00:12:16,918
‪现在回想起来 干贝好像烤得不够熟

207
00:12:16,918 --> 00:12:19,418
‪-废话少说 暗杀名单怎么回事?
‪-对啊

208
00:12:19,418 --> 00:12:21,459
‪-有人要你死
‪-谁?

209
00:12:21,459 --> 00:12:24,251
‪你对查尔斯·曼森
‪这个名字有印象吗?

210
00:12:26,376 --> 00:12:29,209
‪你真坏!

211
00:12:29,209 --> 00:12:31,918
‪别乱来 贾格黑德

212
00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:34,459
‪帅哥 可以借个火吗?

213
00:12:35,334 --> 00:12:38,293
{\an8}‪可以 小姐 想借什么都可以

214
00:12:38,293 --> 00:12:40,584
{\an8}‪打火机、车钥匙 甚至是脾脏都可以

215
00:12:41,084 --> 00:12:43,376
‪那就连你也借走吧 老兄

216
00:12:43,376 --> 00:12:45,543
‪别光站着看 赶紧把他抬起来!

217
00:12:45,543 --> 00:12:46,918
‪我这是在自言自语吗?

218
00:12:47,501 --> 00:12:51,459
‪我刚刚没在反问你们 我在吩咐你们
‪我脑袋里有六把声音在对我说话

219
00:12:52,168 --> 00:12:53,251
‪他是彻头彻尾的变态

220
00:12:55,001 --> 00:12:59,709
‪顺便提醒你一声
‪他刚刚绑走了你的同伴

221
00:12:59,709 --> 00:13:02,459
‪-什么?
‪-不是裹着尿片的那个 是鲍比·雷

222
00:13:02,459 --> 00:13:04,168
‪那个该死的服务生跟你说的吗?

223
00:13:04,168 --> 00:13:05,959
‪“那个该死的服务生...” 没错

224
00:13:05,959 --> 00:13:08,043
‪我们到处都有眼线 很可怕吧?

225
00:13:08,043 --> 00:13:10,043
‪看来你不是开玩笑的
‪他被带去哪里了?

226
00:13:10,043 --> 00:13:11,668
‪-无可奉告
‪-跟我走

227
00:13:11,668 --> 00:13:13,959
‪你要我取消
‪跟一个放射科医生的晚餐约会?

228
00:13:13,959 --> 00:13:16,834
‪好不容易找到个不太粘人
‪穿13号鞋、坐拥海滩别墅的对象

229
00:13:16,834 --> 00:13:18,418
‪我可不想哦

230
00:13:18,418 --> 00:13:19,376
‪再耍花招试试

231
00:13:22,293 --> 00:13:23,126
‪小心点

232
00:13:26,459 --> 00:13:29,918
‪你看起来不像乡下来的治安官

233
00:13:30,584 --> 00:13:34,084
‪介意告诉我为什么迪安·马丁
‪手持38口径手枪瞄准我吗?

234
00:13:34,084 --> 00:13:35,834
‪这好像不关我们的事

235
00:13:35,834 --> 00:13:40,668
‪那就说说“你们的事”
‪如果曼森真把鲍比·雷绑走了...

236
00:13:45,459 --> 00:13:49,293
‪那你们很快就知道
‪为什么我们从不让斯盖特开车了

237
00:13:58,543 --> 00:13:59,793
‪一起去兜风吧

238
00:14:02,876 --> 00:14:05,293
‪(好莱坞)

239
00:14:05,293 --> 00:14:06,459
‪等一下!

240
00:14:10,751 --> 00:14:12,334
‪这个地方叫斯班牧场

241
00:14:12,334 --> 00:14:14,459
‪前身是西部片的片场

242
00:14:15,001 --> 00:14:16,168
‪看来没人

243
00:14:16,168 --> 00:14:19,584
‪-是吗?那怎么这么多马呢?
‪-有道理

244
00:14:19,584 --> 00:14:22,501
‪不是开玩笑的 相信我
‪这就是曼森和他信徒们的贼窝

245
00:14:22,501 --> 00:14:25,793
‪可以叫这莫名其妙的家伙冷静点吗?

246
00:14:29,459 --> 00:14:30,376
‪那我就不客气了

247
00:14:30,959 --> 00:14:32,584
‪你是我的新宠儿

248
00:14:34,334 --> 00:14:35,959
‪屋里有没有人只有一个办法知道

249
00:14:36,543 --> 00:14:38,126
‪你可以下车了

250
00:14:38,126 --> 00:14:39,751
‪你想干吗?

251
00:14:53,043 --> 00:14:56,334
‪干吗?我的任务是确保你不被谋杀

252
00:14:56,334 --> 00:14:58,418
‪另一个更重要的任务是跟猩猩一起嗨

253
00:14:58,418 --> 00:15:00,293
‪总之可以速战速决吗?

254
00:15:06,918 --> 00:15:09,918
‪好无趣的地方 你的同伴已经死了...

255
00:15:09,918 --> 00:15:11,584
‪你听我说

256
00:15:11,584 --> 00:15:13,334
‪鲍比·雷在偏僻的森林里长大

257
00:15:13,334 --> 00:15:16,543
‪那边的人要么私酿威士忌
‪要么感染狂犬病

258
00:15:17,418 --> 00:15:20,251
‪你要说的重点是什么?

259
00:15:20,251 --> 00:15:21,834
‪鲍比·雷是不会死的

260
00:15:23,959 --> 00:15:24,793
‪待在车上

261
00:15:25,293 --> 00:15:26,334
‪没问题

262
00:15:32,959 --> 00:15:34,793
‪真他妈的 鲍比·雷

263
00:15:38,251 --> 00:15:39,459
{\an8}‪(银两小酒馆)

264
00:15:39,459 --> 00:15:40,751
{\an8}‪(泰克斯 克莱姆 苏珊 吱吱)

265
00:15:45,126 --> 00:15:50,459
‪(《狼狈》 查尔斯
‪猪猡们去死吧 家族 死亡谷)

266
00:15:57,876 --> 00:15:59,543
‪我的妈啊

267
00:16:00,459 --> 00:16:03,418
‪他们搞不好很快就会回来了

268
00:16:03,418 --> 00:16:05,376
‪那就赶紧救你出去吧

269
00:16:05,376 --> 00:16:07,584
‪什么?不要 她们还会回来操我

270
00:16:07,584 --> 00:16:11,418
‪不骗你 这些疯疯癫癫
‪做爱无拘束的美女啪起来可凶了

271
00:16:12,293 --> 00:16:13,126
‪这是血迹吗?

272
00:16:13,126 --> 00:16:15,751
‪是的 越啪越淫邪

273
00:16:15,751 --> 00:16:18,168
‪虽然感到难为情
‪但我不介意再玩一遍

274
00:16:18,709 --> 00:16:20,209
‪那是什么声音?

275
00:16:23,584 --> 00:16:26,043
‪老兄 别乱开枪

276
00:16:26,626 --> 00:16:28,376
‪怎么凶巴巴的?

277
00:16:28,876 --> 00:16:31,043
‪是你们先绑走我朋友的

278
00:16:31,043 --> 00:16:32,043
‪绑走?

279
00:16:33,876 --> 00:16:36,834
‪是我前律师的焦尸在说话吗?

280
00:16:37,459 --> 00:16:40,709
‪你误会了 我们只是借用你的朋友
‪好引你来这里

281
00:16:41,209 --> 00:16:43,959
‪别激动 坐下吧

282
00:16:43,959 --> 00:16:46,834
‪我们都很友好的

283
00:16:47,793 --> 00:16:50,001
‪-加入我们吧
‪-来加入我们吧

284
00:16:50,001 --> 00:16:51,001
‪-加入我们吧
‪-不妙

285
00:16:51,001 --> 00:16:53,043
‪埃尔维斯 我们还是赶紧离开这里吧

286
00:16:55,001 --> 00:16:58,876
‪不介绍你那几个新朋友
‪给我们认识吗?

287
00:16:58,876 --> 00:17:01,001
‪-赶紧开车吧
‪-好的

288
00:17:03,418 --> 00:17:07,501
‪开快点 搞不好我还来得及
‪跟迪米医生共进晚餐和参观那间大...

289
00:17:19,834 --> 00:17:20,751
‪搞什么?

290
00:17:22,251 --> 00:17:23,459
‪睡得好吗?

291
00:17:23,459 --> 00:17:24,793
‪这是什么情况?

292
00:17:24,793 --> 00:17:26,126
‪你问我这是什么情况?

293
00:17:26,126 --> 00:17:29,418
‪这里是电影《琳达与艾比利尼》中
‪刑场的拍摄场地

294
00:17:29,418 --> 00:17:32,418
‪一部被低估的性变态西部片

295
00:17:32,418 --> 00:17:33,959
‪这些乡亲又是谁呢?

296
00:17:33,959 --> 00:17:36,543
‪他们都是我的家人!

297
00:17:37,043 --> 00:17:38,834
‪谢谢 很好

298
00:17:39,751 --> 00:17:43,293
‪他们来为了在泥巴里啪啪
‪还是见证你设法干掉我?

299
00:17:43,293 --> 00:17:46,668
‪干掉你?兄弟 你误会了
‪你到底在胡扯些什么呢?

300
00:17:46,668 --> 00:17:47,959
‪我被列入了暗杀名单

301
00:17:47,959 --> 00:17:50,376
‪我都跟“嗜血的查尔斯”说
‪别用那个词了

302
00:17:50,376 --> 00:17:52,709
‪可是“愤怒的查尔斯”却叫我闭嘴!

303
00:17:52,709 --> 00:17:54,626
‪-你才闭嘴!
‪-安静!

304
00:17:54,626 --> 00:17:55,668
‪是谁的声音?

305
00:17:55,668 --> 00:17:56,793
‪你们都给我安静

306
00:17:58,126 --> 00:18:01,126
‪你所分裂出来的所有人格
‪简直“比常人还要正常”

307
00:18:01,126 --> 00:18:02,084
‪我可以走了吗?

308
00:18:02,084 --> 00:18:05,084
‪没问题 就当你同意加入我们家族了

309
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,959
‪家族?什么家族?

310
00:18:06,959 --> 00:18:09,418
‪这里每个人都是兄弟姐妹

311
00:18:09,418 --> 00:18:11,751
‪我们是一家人 真的

312
00:18:11,751 --> 00:18:13,376
‪杰瑞负责洗碗

313
00:18:13,376 --> 00:18:15,251
‪玛莎负责准备零食

314
00:18:15,251 --> 00:18:16,543
‪弗兰克负责带毒品

315
00:18:16,543 --> 00:18:19,001
‪那边的贝蒂也负责带毒品

316
00:18:19,001 --> 00:18:21,834
‪其实大多数家人都负责带毒品

317
00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:23,876
‪大家可别忘了带毒品过来!

318
00:18:23,876 --> 00:18:25,584
‪我知道你在想什么

319
00:18:25,584 --> 00:18:28,293
‪你担心自己融入不了

320
00:18:28,293 --> 00:18:29,668
‪都担心到睡不着了

321
00:18:29,668 --> 00:18:31,626
‪你只是需要一些时间适应

322
00:18:31,626 --> 00:18:34,876
‪等我们连续三个月给你强行灌迷药后

323
00:18:34,876 --> 00:18:38,709
‪我敢保证你一定感受得到爱的

324
00:18:38,709 --> 00:18:42,959
‪感受爱就是指
‪我们一天到晚都在互相啪啪 对吧?

325
00:18:44,793 --> 00:18:47,376
‪说得好 恐怕你找错人了

326
00:18:47,376 --> 00:18:49,918
‪怎么会呢?你还不懂吗?

327
00:18:49,918 --> 00:18:50,834
‪就当我不懂吧

328
00:18:50,834 --> 00:18:52,668
‪我们是同类人

329
00:18:52,668 --> 00:18:57,918
‪我们都是有个性魅力的人
‪都在做音乐改变世界

330
00:18:57,918 --> 00:18:59,418
‪-音乐?
‪-有你的加持后

331
00:18:59,418 --> 00:19:02,959
‪加上暗杀名单上所有人
‪我一定能够抵达颠峰

332
00:19:02,959 --> 00:19:03,959
‪你到底在搞什么...

333
00:19:10,001 --> 00:19:11,126
‪我的妈啊

334
00:19:11,126 --> 00:19:13,334
‪懂了吗?

335
00:19:13,334 --> 00:19:15,834
‪-我的理解跟你期待的不同
‪-那你怎么看?

336
00:19:15,834 --> 00:19:17,459
‪你就答应吧

337
00:19:17,459 --> 00:19:20,543
‪如果要我跟一群窝囊的嬉皮士
‪一起混日子

338
00:19:20,543 --> 00:19:22,418
‪那我老早就回丹尼斯·霍珀的电话了

339
00:19:26,543 --> 00:19:28,459
‪-埃尔维斯!
‪-真他妈的!

340
00:19:28,459 --> 00:19:31,626
‪其实我并没有很生气 我只是很失望

341
00:19:31,626 --> 00:19:33,084
‪我只能怪自己了

342
00:19:33,084 --> 00:19:35,334
‪猪猡王倒下了!

343
00:19:35,334 --> 00:19:39,418
‪查尔斯!

344
00:19:39,418 --> 00:19:40,334
‪嗨

345
00:19:40,959 --> 00:19:43,293
‪你要还我一个新的警徽了 蠢货

346
00:19:46,959 --> 00:19:49,209
‪天啊 爹爹 有没有什么断掉了?

347
00:19:50,126 --> 00:19:51,293
‪抓住他

348
00:19:51,834 --> 00:19:54,668
‪有些武器太粗大了
‪你的裤裆装不下 对吧?

349
00:20:21,293 --> 00:20:23,501
‪-这种情况我还是第一次见到
‪-他们都死不了

350
00:20:24,126 --> 00:20:26,293
‪简直就是“僵尸嬉皮士”

351
00:20:26,293 --> 00:20:27,668
‪比僵尸还厉害 好吗?

352
00:20:27,668 --> 00:20:29,918
‪他们都嗑嗨了 一点感觉也没有

353
00:20:29,918 --> 00:20:32,334
‪这画面太美了!

354
00:20:32,334 --> 00:20:35,334
‪叽叽呱呱 叽叽喳喳
‪那家伙的嘴巴就是合不上

355
00:20:37,751 --> 00:20:38,918
‪不要 天啊 放开我!

356
00:20:58,459 --> 00:20:59,543
‪该死的

357
00:21:01,793 --> 00:21:04,168
‪混蛋 看好

358
00:21:04,168 --> 00:21:06,501
‪-这就是我不想跟你来的原因
‪-不要啊

359
00:21:08,751 --> 00:21:10,209
‪该死的畜生!

360
00:21:10,209 --> 00:21:13,126
‪看你们把我的家人糟蹋成什么样子

361
00:21:13,709 --> 00:21:15,668
‪轮到你们付出代价了

362
00:21:15,668 --> 00:21:17,459
‪-手榴弹?
‪-好吧

363
00:21:23,168 --> 00:21:25,876
‪天啊 他太喜欢《猩球崛起》
‪那部电影了

364
00:21:26,501 --> 00:21:27,459
‪完了

365
00:21:33,709 --> 00:21:37,376
‪你杀了我的妹妹暨养女暨妻子

366
00:21:37,376 --> 00:21:38,876
‪你这个该死的...

367
00:21:43,459 --> 00:21:47,084
‪我一直很想问你
‪这外衣好看 什么皮革做的?

368
00:21:47,084 --> 00:21:48,918
‪是意大利皮革 我反对使用动物毛皮

369
00:21:48,918 --> 00:21:50,293
‪在哪里买的?

370
00:21:50,293 --> 00:21:52,501
‪以你的腰围 买不到

371
00:21:54,793 --> 00:21:56,376
‪真不搭我们的顺风车吗?

372
00:21:56,376 --> 00:21:59,918
‪不了 我要清理现场
‪放心吧 我们有的是人手

373
00:22:04,668 --> 00:22:05,668
‪“我们”是指...

374
00:22:05,668 --> 00:22:08,459
‪-祝你演出顺利
‪-对了 鲍比·雷!

375
00:22:08,459 --> 00:22:11,168
‪-怎么?
‪-给这位新朋友几张门票

376
00:22:12,293 --> 00:22:13,459
‪谢了 不用

377
00:22:13,459 --> 00:22:15,251
‪不是摇滚乐迷吗?

378
00:22:15,251 --> 00:22:16,918
‪说得好 就当我不是吧

379
00:22:22,834 --> 00:22:24,376
‪绝对是我的新宠儿

380
00:22:44,584 --> 00:22:47,334
‪(猫王埃尔维斯)

381
00:23:04,751 --> 00:23:05,834
‪说说看

382
00:23:05,834 --> 00:23:07,168
‪你看他可以了吗?

383
00:23:07,168 --> 00:23:10,751
‪你说呢 老大?
‪他通过你的假暗杀真考验了吗?

384
00:23:11,751 --> 00:23:15,126
‪说起这事 有件事我一直想跟你说

385
00:23:16,959 --> 00:23:19,084
‪-怎么?
‪-你和道格熟吗?

386
00:23:19,084 --> 00:23:22,251
‪说不上熟 我们短暂交往过
‪但还没到全垒打的程度 怎么了?

387
00:23:22,751 --> 00:23:26,834
‪我把礼车考验任务交给道格处理
‪结果事情不如...

388
00:23:26,834 --> 00:23:28,084
‪天啊 怎么说来着?

389
00:23:28,084 --> 00:23:29,084
‪结果事与愿违

390
00:23:29,084 --> 00:23:30,876
‪他都不是小孩了 不会有事的

391
00:23:30,876 --> 00:23:33,709
‪我可能说得太轻了

392
00:23:33,709 --> 00:23:37,043
‪他被那只猩猩一枪爆头

393
00:23:37,043 --> 00:23:37,959
‪不会吧?

394
00:23:38,584 --> 00:23:40,084
‪真的 我现在的表情很严肃

395
00:23:40,918 --> 00:23:42,918
‪无所谓 反正他也是个渣男

396
00:23:44,709 --> 00:23:51,668
‪(猫王埃尔维斯)

397
00:23:58,043 --> 00:23:59,834
‪谢谢 晚安

398
00:24:00,334 --> 00:24:03,209
‪(谨以此片纪念
‪丽莎·玛丽·普雷斯利)

399
00:24:52,459 --> 00:24:55,959
‪字幕翻译:张庆龄