1
00:00:42,001 --> 00:00:43,376
‪去他的拉斯維加斯

2
00:00:44,709 --> 00:00:46,876
‪特務貓王

3
00:00:52,209 --> 00:00:53,959
‪(歡迎來到絢麗的拉斯維加斯)

4
00:00:53,959 --> 00:00:56,543
‪天啊,我真的好喜歡拉斯維加斯

5
00:00:57,293 --> 00:00:58,876
‪(熱門節目!貓王回來了!)

6
00:00:58,876 --> 00:01:01,793
‪(瑞德福克斯、蒂娜透娜
‪比爾米勒鉅獻《貓王》)

7
00:01:59,709 --> 00:02:01,126
‪你是殺人機器

8
00:02:01,126 --> 00:02:03,418
‪完成受訓的任務

9
00:02:04,418 --> 00:02:08,334
‪你是殺人機器,完成受訓的任務

10
00:02:19,709 --> 00:02:22,626
‪-好精彩的表演
‪-天啊!真是太棒了,貓王

11
00:02:24,376 --> 00:02:26,709
‪貓王,對白人來說還不錯

12
00:02:26,709 --> 00:02:28,043
‪你知道的,瑞德

13
00:02:28,043 --> 00:02:29,334
‪太正點了,寶貝

14
00:02:29,834 --> 00:02:31,334
‪我愛功夫

15
00:02:31,334 --> 00:02:32,668
‪讚喔,山米

16
00:02:32,668 --> 00:02:34,376
‪小心臀部,貓王

17
00:02:34,376 --> 00:02:36,959
‪你會戳瞎眼睛,山米只剩一隻

18
00:02:36,959 --> 00:02:39,293
‪謝謝,感謝你們來捧場

19
00:02:40,709 --> 00:02:42,834
‪嗨,希拉,妳來了

20
00:02:42,834 --> 00:02:45,043
‪很棒的表演,貓王,我好愛

21
00:02:45,043 --> 00:02:46,626
‪我愛妳

22
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:49,626
‪空手道很另類

23
00:02:50,251 --> 00:02:52,334
‪對,抱歉,羅尼

24
00:02:52,334 --> 00:02:53,709
‪沒事

25
00:02:53,709 --> 00:02:55,084
‪走一走就會好,大個子

26
00:02:55,084 --> 00:02:56,376
‪他不會有事吧?

27
00:02:56,376 --> 00:02:58,209
‪沒事啦,羅尼是老手了

28
00:03:07,459 --> 00:03:10,709
{\an8}‪你腦袋裡到底在想什麼?

29
00:03:13,959 --> 00:03:16,126
{\an8}‪說實話,你表演大多時候我都在睡覺

30
00:03:16,126 --> 00:03:18,084
{\an8}‪但我喜歡你抓狂的環節

31
00:03:18,084 --> 00:03:19,709
{\an8}‪天啊!怎麼又是妳?

32
00:03:19,709 --> 00:03:21,626
{\an8}‪妳是怎麼繞過保全的?

33
00:03:21,626 --> 00:03:23,043
{\an8}‪那些是你的保全人員?

34
00:03:23,626 --> 00:03:24,501
{\an8}‪真可愛

35
00:03:26,334 --> 00:03:29,043
{\an8}‪別激動,他們可能還活著

36
00:03:29,043 --> 00:03:30,251
{\an8}‪妳在這裡做什麼?

37
00:03:30,251 --> 00:03:33,084
{\an8}‪史上最無聊的工作,跑腿

38
00:03:33,084 --> 00:03:34,584
{\an8}‪我要帶你去見我老大

39
00:03:36,084 --> 00:03:36,918
{\an8}‪妳老大?

40
00:03:36,918 --> 00:03:39,626
{\an8}‪我幹嘛要見他?妳替誰工作?

41
00:03:39,626 --> 00:03:43,209
{\an8}‪我不能告訴你,但他很想見你

42
00:03:43,209 --> 00:03:44,709
{\an8}‪是啊,我常聽到這句話

43
00:03:44,709 --> 00:03:45,709
{\an8}‪我沒興趣

44
00:03:45,709 --> 00:03:48,418
{\an8}‪在曼森那,我救了你,你欠我個人情

45
00:03:48,918 --> 00:03:51,001
{\an8}‪明明是我救了妳,朋友

46
00:03:52,168 --> 00:03:53,334
{\an8}‪嘿,小姐,妳不能...

47
00:03:54,834 --> 00:03:55,668
{\an8}‪媽的

48
00:03:55,668 --> 00:03:59,293
{\an8}‪妳幫我找來一把電擊槍
‪我就去見妳老大

49
00:03:59,293 --> 00:04:01,918
{\an8}‪-成交
‪-對了,不知道要怎麼稱呼妳

50
00:04:01,918 --> 00:04:03,918
{\an8}‪-西西,東西的西
‪-不然呢?

51
00:04:03,918 --> 00:04:07,584
{\an8}‪我的毒蟲脫衣舞孃老媽寫成吸毒的吸

52
00:04:07,584 --> 00:04:09,626
{\an8}‪但不是那樣寫,是東西的西

53
00:04:09,626 --> 00:04:10,668
{\an8}‪已經聽夠了

54
00:04:15,001 --> 00:04:16,918
‪我們又要去哪裡?

55
00:04:16,918 --> 00:04:18,959
‪-別擔心
‪-我們要見誰?

56
00:04:18,959 --> 00:04:20,043
‪別擔心

57
00:04:20,043 --> 00:04:22,793
‪我們要讓史卡特自己留在這裡?

58
00:04:22,793 --> 00:04:24,293
‪我們可能要擔心他

59
00:04:24,876 --> 00:04:26,418
‪幾小時後回來,史卡特

60
00:04:26,418 --> 00:04:27,501
‪待在房間裡

61
00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:30,251
‪沒有小妞,沒有酒
‪沒有麻煩,聽到了嗎?

62
00:04:48,126 --> 00:04:50,793
‪嘿,寶貝,你怎麼現在才來?

63
00:04:57,793 --> 00:05:00,459
‪關掉迷幻藥音樂

64
00:05:01,584 --> 00:05:03,043
‪等我死了再說

65
00:05:03,043 --> 00:05:04,459
‪你們會先死

66
00:05:04,459 --> 00:05:06,459
‪吉姆莫里森是真正的神

67
00:05:07,251 --> 00:05:08,668
‪就像希臘男神一樣

68
00:05:18,293 --> 00:05:19,293
‪天啊

69
00:05:20,168 --> 00:05:21,751
‪不准帶寵物,女士,抱歉

70
00:05:21,751 --> 00:05:23,084
‪猴子得離開

71
00:05:23,084 --> 00:05:25,501
‪嚴格來說,黑猩猩是猿類

72
00:05:27,418 --> 00:05:28,251
‪看吧?

73
00:05:28,251 --> 00:05:30,501
‪我不管那麼多,把牠弄走

74
00:05:30,501 --> 00:05:33,209
‪且慢,那不是一般猴子

75
00:05:33,209 --> 00:05:35,168
‪那是普里斯萊先生的猴子

76
00:05:37,293 --> 00:05:40,126
‪我很抱歉,有什麼吩咐儘管開口

77
00:05:40,126 --> 00:05:42,043
‪我們會記在普里斯萊先生的帳單上

78
00:05:48,501 --> 00:05:50,584
‪哇靠

79
00:05:50,584 --> 00:05:52,334
‪貓王,你看

80
00:05:54,876 --> 00:05:55,793
‪這是什麼地方?

81
00:05:55,793 --> 00:05:58,168
‪它沒有名字,實際上不存在

82
00:05:58,168 --> 00:06:01,668
‪了解,又是妳一直在宣揚的機密狗屁

83
00:06:01,668 --> 00:06:04,418
‪對了,我要拿我的電擊槍

84
00:06:04,418 --> 00:06:06,834
‪小心點,我教你怎麼用

85
00:06:06,834 --> 00:06:09,543
‪開保險、設定電量...

86
00:06:12,043 --> 00:06:14,959
‪好,我懂了,妳老大在哪裡?

87
00:06:14,959 --> 00:06:15,918
‪他待會就到

88
00:06:15,918 --> 00:06:18,918
‪他從蒙特卡洛飛過來
‪他去找甘迺迪聊聊

89
00:06:18,918 --> 00:06:22,251
‪甘迺迪死了,那是震驚全國的悲劇

90
00:06:23,334 --> 00:06:25,918
‪沒錯,他...他“死了”

91
00:06:25,918 --> 00:06:27,084
‪我老是忘記

92
00:06:27,084 --> 00:06:28,543
‪妳是說他沒死?

93
00:06:28,543 --> 00:06:30,501
‪也許你不該相信電視上的一切

94
00:06:31,126 --> 00:06:34,168
‪喂!小姐,別毀了《檀島警騎》

95
00:06:34,168 --> 00:06:36,543
‪這裡有點無聊,西西,東西的西

96
00:06:36,543 --> 00:06:37,584
‪好吧,等等

97
00:06:37,584 --> 00:06:40,501
‪至少先參觀飛機
‪我老大覺得你可能會喜歡

98
00:06:40,501 --> 00:06:41,709
‪我們可以進去?

99
00:06:42,293 --> 00:06:44,459
‪真是的,下次早點說嘛

100
00:06:45,293 --> 00:06:48,043
‪還輪不到你,瘦竹竿,這是機密

101
00:06:48,043 --> 00:06:51,876
‪我的皮包也是機密,千萬別亂碰

102
00:06:57,709 --> 00:06:59,084
‪機密個屁啦

103
00:06:59,876 --> 00:07:01,751
‪再說了,偷看不算作弊

104
00:07:04,459 --> 00:07:07,668
‪我以為我的飛機麗莎瑪莉號夠豪華了

105
00:07:09,001 --> 00:07:11,834
‪麗莎瑪莉是誰?她聽起來很正

106
00:07:12,334 --> 00:07:13,168
‪我女兒

107
00:07:14,459 --> 00:07:17,251
‪這傢伙用他的飛機命名女兒?

108
00:07:17,251 --> 00:07:20,168
‪奇怪的優先順序,但我喜歡

109
00:07:20,168 --> 00:07:23,209
‪提醒一下,這裡有個古怪流浪漢

110
00:07:23,209 --> 00:07:25,501
‪在間諜飛機上尿進罐子裡

111
00:07:25,501 --> 00:07:28,084
‪他很古怪沒錯,但絕對不是流浪漢

112
00:07:28,084 --> 00:07:30,251
‪霍華是億萬富翁,也是天才發明家

113
00:07:30,251 --> 00:07:32,709
‪-他替我們工作
‪-我是霍華休斯,幸會

114
00:07:32,709 --> 00:07:33,834
‪霍華休斯?

115
00:07:33,834 --> 00:07:35,543
‪不會吧,我聽說你瘋了

116
00:07:35,543 --> 00:07:39,209
‪從牆上的尿罐看來,我聽到的是對的

117
00:07:40,668 --> 00:07:42,793
‪你的口氣跟我的醫生一樣

118
00:07:42,793 --> 00:07:46,418
‪老實說,我完全瘋了...

119
00:07:46,418 --> 00:07:49,001
‪等等,我完全瘋了...

120
00:07:49,001 --> 00:07:50,584
‪等等,不對,我說錯了

121
00:07:50,584 --> 00:07:53,334
‪我完全沒有發瘋

122
00:07:54,168 --> 00:07:55,376
‪那些罐子是怎麼回事?

123
00:07:55,376 --> 00:07:56,959
‪飛機上沒有廁所?

124
00:07:56,959 --> 00:07:58,584
‪其實有六間

125
00:07:58,584 --> 00:08:01,334
‪三間用來上大號,兩間用來小便

126
00:08:01,334 --> 00:08:03,626
‪一間放滿了罐子

127
00:08:03,626 --> 00:08:05,293
‪這架飛機什麼都有

128
00:08:05,293 --> 00:08:07,001
‪甚至有核能發電

129
00:08:07,001 --> 00:08:09,334
‪我在後頭蓋了反應爐,想像一下

130
00:08:09,334 --> 00:08:11,043
‪永遠不必加油

131
00:08:11,043 --> 00:08:15,876
‪永久飛在空中的TCB總部
‪內含六間廁所

132
00:08:15,876 --> 00:08:16,793
‪TCB?

133
00:08:16,793 --> 00:08:18,584
‪對,假裝你沒聽到

134
00:08:19,126 --> 00:08:21,459
‪參觀一下如何?
‪我們可以從駕駛艙開始

135
00:08:21,459 --> 00:08:23,334
‪這是最酷的部份

136
00:08:23,334 --> 00:08:25,543
‪因為外觀很像老二

137
00:08:27,918 --> 00:08:32,168
‪嘿,有人跟你說過
‪你看起來像盜版的貓王嗎?

138
00:08:33,418 --> 00:08:34,501
‪防彈

139
00:08:34,501 --> 00:08:38,418
‪廢話,我是氣到開槍掃射,白痴
‪不能讓他們劫持這架飛機

140
00:08:38,418 --> 00:08:41,876
‪除非妳有偽裝成口紅的焊槍...

141
00:08:41,876 --> 00:08:43,543
‪-我真蠢!
‪-怎麼說?

142
00:08:43,543 --> 00:08:45,709
‪我把焊槍煙放在皮包裡

143
00:08:54,876 --> 00:08:56,584
‪他們到底要去哪裡?

144
00:08:57,084 --> 00:08:57,918
‪嘿!

145
00:08:57,918 --> 00:08:59,501
‪你們知道...

146
00:09:00,001 --> 00:09:01,584
‪後腦杓跑哪去了嗎?

147
00:09:04,209 --> 00:09:05,626
‪這下可慘了

148
00:09:07,334 --> 00:09:09,001
‪你好啊

149
00:09:11,418 --> 00:09:13,084
‪咱們來想看看

150
00:09:13,084 --> 00:09:16,834
‪強化鋼門對上拿著滅火器的嬌小女人

151
00:09:17,334 --> 00:09:18,459
‪我賭門會贏

152
00:09:18,459 --> 00:09:21,418
‪你好,沙文豬!真會選時機,王八蛋

153
00:09:21,418 --> 00:09:23,043
‪艦長廣播

154
00:09:23,043 --> 00:09:28,251
‪真是抱歉,貓王穿《藍色麂“皮靴”》
‪感到《心煩意亂》

155
00:09:28,251 --> 00:09:29,876
‪是“皮鞋”,白痴

156
00:09:29,876 --> 00:09:32,584
‪你的粉絲群是討人厭的壞蛋

157
00:09:32,584 --> 00:09:36,209
‪我不會為我的大眾吸引力道歉

158
00:09:36,209 --> 00:09:41,584
‪不好意思
‪但你該去《“火燒心”旅館》了

159
00:09:41,584 --> 00:09:44,251
‪好吧,撇開語言障礙

160
00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:50,418
‪我們學到貓王粉絲遍及全球...

161
00:09:52,751 --> 00:09:54,543
‪-多爾
‪-是,指揮官?

162
00:09:56,626 --> 00:09:58,793
‪我的手錶超前了嗎,多爾?

163
00:09:58,793 --> 00:10:00,418
‪-沒有,長官
‪-我想也是

164
00:10:00,418 --> 00:10:03,251
‪我吩咐西西帶貓王來見我

165
00:10:03,251 --> 00:10:06,584
‪三點整在飛機場見面,是嗎?

166
00:10:06,584 --> 00:10:09,626
‪-沒錯,長官
‪-但他們不在這裡

167
00:10:10,209 --> 00:10:13,209
‪難不成他們使用了隱形裝置?

168
00:10:13,751 --> 00:10:14,584
‪什麼?

169
00:10:14,584 --> 00:10:16,418
‪你知道的,隱形裝置

170
00:10:16,418 --> 00:10:18,959
‪說不定他們在這裡,只是隱形了

171
00:10:18,959 --> 00:10:22,668
‪多虧了新開發的實驗隱形裝置故障

172
00:10:22,668 --> 00:10:24,751
‪他們不能再現身了嗎?

173
00:10:24,751 --> 00:10:27,959
‪因為這是我唯一能想到的解釋

174
00:10:28,793 --> 00:10:30,501
‪我不認為我們發明出

175
00:10:30,501 --> 00:10:32,293
‪-隱形裝置
‪-我也這麼想

176
00:10:32,293 --> 00:10:35,334
‪要是有的話,世界會截然不同
‪對吧,多爾?

177
00:10:35,334 --> 00:10:38,459
‪我可以在洗手間裡站在帥哥身邊

178
00:10:38,459 --> 00:10:41,418
‪看著他小便,他不會發現我在旁邊

179
00:10:41,418 --> 00:10:43,459
‪我只是隨便舉個例子

180
00:10:43,459 --> 00:10:45,543
‪肯定有無限的可能性

181
00:10:45,543 --> 00:10:49,251
‪現在我有兩個發飆的理由

182
00:10:49,251 --> 00:10:50,543
‪貓王不在這裡

183
00:10:50,543 --> 00:10:54,709
‪我們顯然在研發隱形裝置進度上落後

184
00:10:54,709 --> 00:10:57,709
‪提醒我告訴西西她現在麻煩大...

185
00:10:58,293 --> 00:11:01,418
‪完了!

186
00:11:01,418 --> 00:11:04,293
‪嘿!同路嗎?

187
00:11:04,293 --> 00:11:07,043
‪如果你走的路是被摔死的話

188
00:11:07,043 --> 00:11:08,876
‪沒錯,正好我也同路

189
00:11:08,876 --> 00:11:10,834
‪不會有人摔死

190
00:11:10,834 --> 00:11:14,293
‪雖然你的披風很華麗,也很女性化

191
00:11:14,293 --> 00:11:15,626
‪但不能停止降落

192
00:11:15,626 --> 00:11:18,501
‪-妳說得對,但他會
‪-誰?

193
00:11:18,501 --> 00:11:19,459
‪我的搭檔

194
00:11:30,709 --> 00:11:32,293
‪你真是我的新寵

195
00:11:33,709 --> 00:11:34,834
‪飛機不錯喔,巴比

196
00:11:34,834 --> 00:11:38,126
‪-對啊,還有杯架
‪-你在哪學會開飛機的?

197
00:11:38,126 --> 00:11:41,084
‪巴比雷會開車
‪開飛機、駕駛任何東西

198
00:11:41,084 --> 00:11:44,584
‪你的孟斐斯黑手黨小弟真有用呢

199
00:11:44,584 --> 00:11:45,876
‪別這麼說

200
00:11:45,876 --> 00:11:48,209
‪巴比雷不是我的孟斐斯黑手黨小弟

201
00:11:48,209 --> 00:11:50,959
‪-希望有一天能加入
‪-再說啦

202
00:11:50,959 --> 00:11:52,959
‪我們順其自然好嗎?

203
00:11:52,959 --> 00:11:53,876
‪好,很好

204
00:11:53,876 --> 00:11:56,501
‪與此同時
‪我們尾隨被挾持的飛機如何?

205
00:11:56,501 --> 00:11:57,459
‪沒問題

206
00:11:58,001 --> 00:11:59,376
‪聽起來不太妙

207
00:11:59,376 --> 00:12:01,376
‪別擔心,巴比雷能解決任何問題

208
00:12:01,376 --> 00:12:03,668
‪嘿,誰有很多汽油?

209
00:12:03,668 --> 00:12:04,918
‪我幫朋友問的

210
00:12:08,751 --> 00:12:09,668
‪讚啦

211
00:12:09,668 --> 00:12:11,668
‪真好,柏蒂,這真的很棒

212
00:12:11,668 --> 00:12:13,626
‪不知道妳知不知道

213
00:12:13,626 --> 00:12:16,459
‪但我是第一個
‪站上拉斯維加斯舞台的黑人

214
00:12:16,459 --> 00:12:19,293
‪我愛這個城市
‪無論我要什麼,白人都會給我

215
00:12:19,293 --> 00:12:21,918
‪絕大部分是因為他們認定
‪所有黑人身上都有刀

216
00:12:21,918 --> 00:12:23,001
‪他們錯了

217
00:12:23,001 --> 00:12:24,084
‪我有手槍

218
00:12:27,501 --> 00:12:28,876
‪嗨,不好意思

219
00:12:28,876 --> 00:12:34,918
‪請給我一杯無酒精戴克瑞
‪要擺可愛的小雨傘

220
00:12:35,918 --> 00:12:39,459
‪還有三小杯龍舌蘭酒
‪再幫福克斯點酒

221
00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:42,334
‪抱歉,女士,您的帳戶超過額度了

222
00:12:42,334 --> 00:12:45,126
‪我用的是貓王的帳戶

223
00:12:45,126 --> 00:12:48,168
‪也就是說,沒有額度限制

224
00:12:48,168 --> 00:12:51,793
‪顯然有,是三十萬兩千元

225
00:12:51,793 --> 00:12:53,501
‪搞什麼?

226
00:12:53,501 --> 00:12:55,918
‪上校是不是全拿去賭博了?

227
00:12:55,918 --> 00:12:59,376
‪我相信是另一個夥伴史卡特先生

228
00:13:01,126 --> 00:13:03,376
‪你是說找死的的黑猩猩

229
00:13:03,376 --> 00:13:04,459
‪放輕鬆

230
00:13:14,084 --> 00:13:15,084
‪放輕鬆

231
00:13:20,334 --> 00:13:21,209
‪放輕鬆

232
00:13:27,126 --> 00:13:29,959
‪-看到了嗎?放輕鬆...
‪-給我再說一次試試看

233
00:13:29,959 --> 00:13:32,209
‪放輕鬆,西西,東西的西

234
00:13:32,793 --> 00:13:34,376
‪我們現在在哪裡?

235
00:13:40,251 --> 00:13:42,376
‪嘿,妳在做什麼?

236
00:13:42,376 --> 00:13:46,293
‪想辦法修理這玩意
‪它能找到我留在飛機上的追蹤裝置

237
00:13:46,293 --> 00:13:48,834
‪-妳總是隨身攜帶?
‪-我想知道東西在哪裡

238
00:13:48,834 --> 00:13:50,418
‪被挾持的飛機、前男友

239
00:13:50,418 --> 00:13:53,209
‪我的笨狗、前男友更笨的狗

240
00:13:54,293 --> 00:13:58,126
‪妳看看,連荒無人煙的地方
‪也聽得到我的歌聲

241
00:13:58,126 --> 00:14:01,043
‪配上佈滿灰塵的古董
‪沒有違和感,老伯

242
00:14:01,043 --> 00:14:02,209
‪我才33歲

243
00:14:02,209 --> 00:14:03,293
‪真老

244
00:14:03,834 --> 00:14:06,418
‪好吧,你的音樂不是我的菜,對不起

245
00:14:06,418 --> 00:14:08,418
‪-那是不可...
‪-給我

246
00:14:10,251 --> 00:14:11,626
‪這樣好多了吧?

247
00:14:11,626 --> 00:14:13,334
‪無法擺脫那首該死的歌

248
00:14:13,334 --> 00:14:15,459
‪那是因為大家都愛他們

249
00:14:15,459 --> 00:14:19,376
‪有點像你早期的作品,1920年代那種

250
00:14:20,043 --> 00:14:21,751
‪等等,當年有廣播嗎?

251
00:14:27,626 --> 00:14:29,251
‪我也是這麼想的

252
00:14:31,126 --> 00:14:33,293
{\an8}‪史卡特,你這蠢貨

253
00:14:33,293 --> 00:14:34,876
‪你有多醉?

254
00:14:37,918 --> 00:14:40,043
‪不准昏過去

255
00:14:40,043 --> 00:14:41,793
‪你接受了美國太空總署訓練

256
00:14:41,793 --> 00:14:44,126
‪但你絕對不是火箭科學家

257
00:14:44,126 --> 00:14:46,293
‪更像是毛茸茸的笨蛋

258
00:14:46,293 --> 00:14:48,459
‪快給我滾出去

259
00:14:49,001 --> 00:14:52,668
‪好了!來把貓王的錢贏回來吧

260
00:14:53,251 --> 00:14:56,001
‪很好,這區住不下去了

261
00:14:56,543 --> 00:14:58,418
‪等等

262
00:14:58,418 --> 00:15:00,251
‪你是在針對黑人嗎?

263
00:15:00,251 --> 00:15:02,001
‪妳要玩牌還是要講話?

264
00:15:02,001 --> 00:15:05,418
‪我要享受讓白人輸到脫褲子

265
00:15:05,418 --> 00:15:06,459
‪下注

266
00:15:14,793 --> 00:15:17,959
‪嘿,看來巴比雷打開電源了

267
00:15:17,959 --> 00:15:21,126
‪嘿!我也好了,我想這玩意可以用了

268
00:15:22,709 --> 00:15:23,543
‪車子不錯喔

269
00:15:23,543 --> 00:15:27,251
‪你還沒見識到呢,我改裝了這輛車

270
00:15:29,668 --> 00:15:32,334
‪-雖然不能跑得更快,但...
‪-兩位

271
00:15:32,334 --> 00:15:34,709
‪...是值得的,因為它看起來超酷炫

272
00:15:34,709 --> 00:15:36,376
‪-我同意
‪-兩位

273
00:15:36,376 --> 00:15:38,126
‪怪了,根據我的追蹤器

274
00:15:38,126 --> 00:15:40,418
‪飛機在地面上,就在...

275
00:15:40,418 --> 00:15:41,876
‪死定了

276
00:15:50,001 --> 00:15:51,251
{\an8}‪(勁辣開關)

277
00:16:00,168 --> 00:16:01,293
‪有沒有中?

278
00:16:01,293 --> 00:16:02,376
‪有

279
00:16:05,584 --> 00:16:06,543
‪醒來囉

280
00:16:07,334 --> 00:16:08,376
‪你們兩個

281
00:16:08,376 --> 00:16:09,626
‪媽的快醒醒!

282
00:16:11,334 --> 00:16:12,168
‪我們在哪裡?

283
00:16:12,709 --> 00:16:14,626
‪該死的共產黨

284
00:16:14,626 --> 00:16:16,543
‪可能已經在去俄羅斯的半路上

285
00:16:16,543 --> 00:16:19,668
‪不是俄羅斯,是拉斯維加斯
‪我在你們不省人事時聽到的

286
00:16:19,668 --> 00:16:22,334
‪對了,你們的打呼聲
‪像氣喘發作的巴吉度獵犬

287
00:16:22,334 --> 00:16:23,918
‪等等,妳會說俄文?

288
00:16:23,918 --> 00:16:27,376
‪還有八種語言
‪如果葡萄牙文安全語也算就有九種

289
00:16:27,376 --> 00:16:29,918
‪不過他們發現我在聽,就改說法文

290
00:16:29,918 --> 00:16:33,251
‪我不認為他們是俄國特務
‪而是來自截然不同的地方

291
00:16:33,251 --> 00:16:37,084
‪為何要劫持飛機飛回拉斯維加斯?

292
00:16:37,584 --> 00:16:39,668
‪簡單,夷為平地

293
00:16:39,668 --> 00:16:41,084
‪好吧

294
00:16:41,084 --> 00:16:44,043
‪我從困惑的表情看出來我忘了提到

295
00:16:44,043 --> 00:16:48,001
‪他們逼我把飛機上的核反應爐
‪改成核子彈

296
00:16:48,001 --> 00:16:49,709
‪-什麼?
‪-“什麼”

297
00:16:49,709 --> 00:16:51,293
‪他們拿槍指著我的頭

298
00:16:51,293 --> 00:16:53,126
‪核子彈炸拉斯維加斯?為什麼?

299
00:16:53,126 --> 00:16:56,626
‪我猜他們想消滅可惡的韋恩紐頓

300
00:16:56,626 --> 00:16:58,543
‪但也有可能是

301
00:16:58,543 --> 00:17:03,418
‪他們知道TCB私底下經營賭城
‪作為收入來源

302
00:17:03,418 --> 00:17:05,084
‪假裝你沒聽到

303
00:17:05,584 --> 00:17:07,084
‪天啊

304
00:17:07,084 --> 00:17:09,251
‪普莉希拉還在拉斯維加斯

305
00:17:10,584 --> 00:17:12,418
‪抱歉,這很好笑

306
00:17:12,418 --> 00:17:14,459
‪因為確切來說,她活不了多久

307
00:17:14,459 --> 00:17:18,376
‪先把話說清楚,我早就說過
‪建造核子飛機是個壞主意

308
00:17:18,376 --> 00:17:21,084
‪所以呢?大家都這麼說!

309
00:17:21,084 --> 00:17:22,876
‪妳不特別

310
00:17:22,876 --> 00:17:23,918
‪閉嘴!

311
00:17:23,918 --> 00:17:26,918
‪我們現在要做的是掙脫鎖鍊

312
00:17:26,918 --> 00:17:28,334
‪我辦得到

313
00:17:28,834 --> 00:17:31,834
‪我只需要請人幫我掏出老二

314
00:17:31,834 --> 00:17:34,376
‪請人幫你什麼?

315
00:17:34,376 --> 00:17:37,709
‪好吧,我想我必須說出這個故事

316
00:17:37,709 --> 00:17:42,043
‪我在好幾年前替自己注射了輻射

317
00:17:42,043 --> 00:17:43,918
‪-為什麼?
‪-聽我解釋

318
00:17:43,918 --> 00:17:48,293
‪我後來才蜘蛛人的故事完全是鬼扯蛋

319
00:17:48,293 --> 00:17:50,668
‪你當時不知道?

320
00:17:50,668 --> 00:17:51,709
‪我哪知?

321
00:17:51,709 --> 00:17:53,626
‪這完全是騙局

322
00:17:53,626 --> 00:17:56,793
‪沒有帥爆的蜘蛛網,根本不能爬牆

323
00:17:56,793 --> 00:18:00,084
‪我只得到剪不掉鋒利指甲

324
00:18:00,084 --> 00:18:02,459
‪還有跟硫酸沒兩樣的尿液

325
00:18:02,459 --> 00:18:05,709
‪所以我要尿在罐子裡才不會損壞水管

326
00:18:06,293 --> 00:18:08,751
‪你們誰要幫我瞄準?

327
00:18:09,751 --> 00:18:11,834
‪可惡,這裡爛爆了

328
00:18:12,418 --> 00:18:16,751
‪看到沒有?
‪我以前常在教堂的地下室跟教友打牌

329
00:18:16,751 --> 00:18:18,334
‪當然了,賭的是牙籤

330
00:18:18,334 --> 00:18:22,501
‪後來我說服了他們賭錢

331
00:18:22,501 --> 00:18:25,001
‪現在呢?我是教會的老闆

332
00:18:32,334 --> 00:18:33,168
‪莊家爆

333
00:18:34,709 --> 00:18:37,876
‪就像從嬰兒手上搶走糖果般容易

334
00:18:38,751 --> 00:18:43,126
‪假設嬰兒是討人厭
‪有種族歧視的21點荷官

335
00:18:44,001 --> 00:18:46,626
‪對,很好,你最好走開!

336
00:18:47,376 --> 00:18:49,876
‪反正我厭倦了從他那裡贏錢

337
00:18:51,209 --> 00:18:52,084
‪拜託

338
00:18:52,584 --> 00:18:55,668
‪他沒有要你從背後愛撫他
‪瞄準他的老二

339
00:18:55,668 --> 00:18:57,126
‪妳跟那傢伙共事

340
00:18:57,126 --> 00:18:59,584
‪對,那是典型的職場性騷擾

341
00:18:59,584 --> 00:19:00,959
‪好吧,巴比雷,你上

342
00:19:00,959 --> 00:19:02,668
‪沒問題,等等,要幹嘛?

343
00:19:02,668 --> 00:19:05,126
‪大展身手吧,兄弟,振作起來

344
00:19:05,126 --> 00:19:07,751
‪要知道你天生適合這麼做

345
00:19:07,751 --> 00:19:10,543
‪但主要是你做了,我就不用做

346
00:19:14,626 --> 00:19:17,043
‪可以快一點嗎?因為有人來了

347
00:19:17,626 --> 00:19:18,959
‪手好冰!

348
00:19:20,043 --> 00:19:21,709
‪認真一點,可惡!

349
00:19:21,709 --> 00:19:23,543
‪喂!放下陰莖

350
00:19:30,209 --> 00:19:32,293
‪現在你們可以拆除炸彈了

351
00:19:32,293 --> 00:19:33,876
‪-沒問題
‪-高度懷疑

352
00:19:35,418 --> 00:19:36,584
‪所以你的意思是

353
00:19:36,584 --> 00:19:39,543
‪如果我們同時切斷主線
‪重新引導雷管

354
00:19:39,543 --> 00:19:40,834
‪就能分離引爆器

355
00:19:40,834 --> 00:19:44,084
‪你簡直是某種鄉巴佬天才

356
00:19:44,084 --> 00:19:45,168
‪應該吧

357
00:19:45,168 --> 00:19:47,751
‪-那條要命的電線在哪?
‪-你說什麼?

358
00:19:47,751 --> 00:19:50,751
‪每顆炸彈上都有
‪一條絕對不能碰的電線

359
00:19:50,751 --> 00:19:52,501
‪我叔叔蘭迪教我的

360
00:19:53,126 --> 00:19:55,209
‪其實那是他最後的遺言

361
00:19:55,209 --> 00:19:57,918
‪你們再不快點,也會是你們的遺言

362
00:19:57,918 --> 00:19:59,626
‪我們沒時間了

363
00:20:18,709 --> 00:20:21,293
‪天啊...移開你的小弟弟

364
00:20:21,293 --> 00:20:22,459
‪天啊

365
00:20:22,459 --> 00:20:25,501
‪如果麗塔海華斯每次這麼說
‪我都能拿到一塊錢

366
00:20:25,501 --> 00:20:27,126
‪我就會有十八塊

367
00:20:31,293 --> 00:20:32,501
‪抓住東西

368
00:20:48,501 --> 00:20:51,251
‪你剛才說拿滅火器的嬌小女人怎樣?

369
00:20:58,501 --> 00:21:01,209
‪非得是那條要命的電線,是吧?

370
00:21:03,709 --> 00:21:05,626
‪很厲害嘛,朋友

371
00:21:05,626 --> 00:21:10,334
‪但不幸的是,我鎖定了
‪開到拉斯維加斯的自動導航

372
00:21:10,334 --> 00:21:12,709
‪所以我們要道別了

373
00:21:12,709 --> 00:21:16,126
‪對你來說,這是《少說點話》

374
00:21:17,626 --> 00:21:19,876
‪多點輻射

375
00:21:19,876 --> 00:21:22,084
‪我得承認你說得好

376
00:21:22,084 --> 00:21:23,418
‪挺有哏的

377
00:21:23,418 --> 00:21:28,626
‪總共賺了三十萬兩千美元

378
00:21:28,626 --> 00:21:29,626
‪帥啦!

379
00:21:30,751 --> 00:21:33,918
‪很好,希望妳回去老家

380
00:21:34,584 --> 00:21:38,376
‪看來我還教訓得不夠

381
00:21:39,501 --> 00:21:42,626
‪就像我的寶貝外甥威斯利說的...

382
00:21:44,834 --> 00:21:46,709
‪永遠賭黑的會贏

383
00:21:48,293 --> 00:21:49,334
‪小心!

384
00:21:55,418 --> 00:21:58,626
‪可惡,霍華
‪他要活著我才能審問他

385
00:21:58,626 --> 00:22:00,251
‪妳應該要早點說

386
00:22:00,959 --> 00:22:02,001
‪說到這

387
00:22:02,001 --> 00:22:04,293
‪我們剛才拆除的炸彈

388
00:22:04,293 --> 00:22:06,418
‪效果不佳

389
00:22:06,418 --> 00:22:08,543
‪我們完蛋了

390
00:22:08,543 --> 00:22:11,751
‪該死!自動駕駛儀
‪已鎖定前往拉斯維加斯

391
00:22:12,834 --> 00:22:14,418
‪現在不是了

392
00:22:15,126 --> 00:22:17,001
‪大家快抓緊

393
00:22:23,168 --> 00:22:25,709
‪好,誰在抓我屁股?

394
00:22:26,543 --> 00:22:28,584
‪好,誰沒有抓我屁股?

395
00:22:28,584 --> 00:22:30,543
‪可能是死人

396
00:22:31,501 --> 00:22:33,168
‪我其實沒死

397
00:22:33,168 --> 00:22:34,584
‪只是毀容了

398
00:22:34,584 --> 00:22:37,793
‪我的天啊,好像在跟肉餅說話

399
00:22:37,793 --> 00:22:40,626
‪不,我是大粉絲,貓王頭號鐵粉

400
00:22:40,626 --> 00:22:42,334
‪所以我才會引用歌名

401
00:22:42,334 --> 00:22:43,918
‪你激勵了我

402
00:22:44,834 --> 00:22:46,918
‪-謝謝?
‪-很好,你替誰工作?

403
00:22:46,918 --> 00:22:48,793
‪也許這是徵兆

404
00:22:48,793 --> 00:22:51,543
‪我應該改變人生,你懂嗎?

405
00:22:51,543 --> 00:22:54,626
‪共乘通勤,找份正常工作,對吧?

406
00:22:55,126 --> 00:22:58,418
‪為你的美好願景高興
‪你到底替誰工作?

407
00:22:58,418 --> 00:23:01,043
‪好吧,有太多祕密了

408
00:23:01,043 --> 00:23:03,376
‪沒差,我這就說吧

409
00:23:03,959 --> 00:23:05,084
‪我替...

410
00:23:07,793 --> 00:23:09,918
‪那真是他媽的太棒了

411
00:23:26,084 --> 00:23:29,001
‪感謝上帝賜予的隱喻

412
00:23:29,001 --> 00:23:31,418
‪(新婚夫妻)

413
00:23:34,918 --> 00:23:37,126
‪你需要去看醫生

414
00:23:37,126 --> 00:23:38,918
‪而且要看很多醫生

415
00:23:39,751 --> 00:23:41,668
‪我被開除了,對吧?

416
00:23:41,668 --> 00:23:42,793
‪對啊

417
00:23:48,876 --> 00:23:50,626
‪去他的拉斯維加斯

418
00:24:04,543 --> 00:24:06,334
‪什麼...霍華?

419
00:24:06,334 --> 00:24:07,334
‪是你嗎?

420
00:24:07,918 --> 00:24:09,418
‪你們兩個認識?

421
00:24:09,418 --> 00:24:10,626
‪對啊

422
00:24:10,626 --> 00:24:14,584
‪梅爾文幾年前在路邊遇到我
‪載我去市區

423
00:24:14,584 --> 00:24:18,001
‪等我死後要將所有財產留給他

424
00:24:18,001 --> 00:24:19,793
‪只是因為載你一程?

425
00:24:19,793 --> 00:24:21,418
‪等等,幫你掏槍能拿什麼?

426
00:24:21,418 --> 00:24:23,876
‪帶我回飯店吧

427
00:24:23,876 --> 00:24:25,501
‪對,沒錯

428
00:24:25,501 --> 00:24:27,918
‪要不要順路先去見我老大?

429
00:24:27,918 --> 00:24:29,459
‪不,我受夠你們這些人

430
00:24:29,459 --> 00:24:30,834
‪-可是...
‪-沒得商量

431
00:24:32,626 --> 00:24:34,126
‪來點音樂如何?

432
00:24:39,626 --> 00:24:40,959
‪他媽的拉斯維加斯

433
00:24:42,001 --> 00:24:46,959
‪(歡迎來到絢麗的拉斯維加斯)

434
00:24:47,626 --> 00:24:50,501
‪(僅此紀念羅恩圖特)

435
00:25:43,168 --> 00:25:46,501
‪字幕翻譯:張瀛