1
00:00:21,084 --> 00:00:25,459
‪每隔一陣子,人類會成就不可能的事

2
00:00:26,209 --> 00:00:29,168
‪目視確認,降落架已展開

3
00:00:29,876 --> 00:00:32,293
‪收到,哥倫比亞號,鷹號已升空

4
00:00:33,084 --> 00:00:35,668
‪促成這一切的是有夢想的人

5
00:00:36,334 --> 00:00:38,293
‪一路順風,鷹號

6
00:00:38,293 --> 00:00:39,709
‪因為當人有了夢想

7
00:00:41,334 --> 00:00:44,418
‪你知道會發生什麼事
‪他可以改變世界

8
00:00:45,126 --> 00:00:46,209
‪好了,卡

9
00:00:47,626 --> 00:00:50,584
‪聽著,我不想妨礙你演戲

10
00:00:50,584 --> 00:00:53,501
‪但我正在看劇本,我很確定...對

11
00:00:53,501 --> 00:00:56,543
‪裡面沒有那些字

12
00:00:56,543 --> 00:00:59,626
‪沒錯,那是因為劇本裡的字是垃圾

13
00:00:59,626 --> 00:01:02,376
‪好了,聽我說,別管那些字了

14
00:01:02,376 --> 00:01:03,793
‪照劇本唸就好,兄弟

15
00:01:03,793 --> 00:01:06,709
‪你是約翰卡彭特
‪抱持理想主義的貧民窟醫生

16
00:01:06,709 --> 00:01:10,459
‪你什麼人都幫
‪窮人、病人、飢餓的人、有的沒的

17
00:01:10,459 --> 00:01:12,418
‪你是耶穌,你的經歷不凡

18
00:01:12,418 --> 00:01:15,251
‪你的經歷就是美國的經歷

19
00:01:15,251 --> 00:01:17,834
‪有時你會和修女親熱

20
00:01:17,834 --> 00:01:19,001
‪不錯吧?

21
00:01:19,001 --> 00:01:21,043
‪好喔,聽好了,菜鳥

22
00:01:21,043 --> 00:01:24,209
‪美國不會跟修女親熱

23
00:01:24,209 --> 00:01:26,168
‪是嗎?那是美國的損失,對吧?

24
00:01:26,168 --> 00:01:29,626
‪好,聽好,我們要再拍一次,開拍!

25
00:01:32,001 --> 00:01:33,501
‪搞屁啊?

26
00:01:34,168 --> 00:01:36,334
‪拜託,各位,哪件事更重要?

27
00:01:36,334 --> 00:01:40,084
‪是幾個平頭男
‪坐著華麗火箭降落在大石頭上

28
00:01:40,084 --> 00:01:44,084
‪還是在地球上創作活生生的藝術?

29
00:01:46,626 --> 00:01:48,418
‪好啦,不聽就算了,休息五分鐘

30
00:01:48,418 --> 00:01:51,126
‪特務貓王

31
00:01:56,501 --> 00:01:58,543
{\an8}‪來自紐約新聞編輯部的最新報導

32
00:01:58,543 --> 00:02:02,084
{\an8}‪請收看華特克朗凱特的CBS晚間新聞

33
00:02:02,084 --> 00:02:06,793
{\an8}‪登月小艇會在數小時後降落月球表面

34
00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:10,209
{\an8}‪這些人的英勇是無庸置疑的

35
00:02:10,209 --> 00:02:12,001
{\an8}‪你看看

36
00:02:13,126 --> 00:02:16,001
{\an8}‪你有沒有想過,我們說不定可以做...

37
00:02:16,001 --> 00:02:17,251
{\an8}‪-更多?
‪-更多?

38
00:02:17,251 --> 00:02:20,418
{\an8}‪對,你知道的,怎麼說...幹一番大事

39
00:02:20,418 --> 00:02:21,959
{\an8}‪沒什麼比當貓王更大的事

40
00:02:21,959 --> 00:02:24,334
{\an8}‪我是說,看這裡,我們眼前的景象

41
00:02:24,334 --> 00:02:29,293
{\an8}‪人類即將降落在可惡的月球上

42
00:02:29,293 --> 00:02:30,376
{\an8}‪我在幹嘛?

43
00:02:30,376 --> 00:02:33,876
{\an8}‪下一個場景
‪你要透過歌曲教導小孩寬容

44
00:02:33,876 --> 00:02:36,126
{\an8}‪這顯然讓修女慾火焚身

45
00:02:36,126 --> 00:02:38,334
{\an8}‪但不知為何,還不夠

46
00:02:38,334 --> 00:02:39,793
{\an8}‪老大,你還好吧?

47
00:02:40,834 --> 00:02:43,209
{\an8}‪要是我在太空艙上會更好

48
00:02:44,334 --> 00:02:46,501
{\an8}‪胡扯?這不是胡扯

49
00:02:46,501 --> 00:02:48,876
{\an8}‪這是歷史上的重大時刻

50
00:02:48,876 --> 00:02:52,168
{\an8}‪說得好,接著會播你的復出電視特輯

51
00:02:52,168 --> 00:02:53,168
{\an8}‪應該吧

52
00:02:54,959 --> 00:02:57,418
{\an8}‪嘿,你答應過我要戒毒

53
00:02:59,209 --> 00:03:03,168
{\an8}‪嚴格說來,老大
‪他說除了週二以外的日子會戒毒

54
00:03:04,043 --> 00:03:08,001
‪古柯鹼週二?我喜歡
‪像是有趣人的塔可餅週二

55
00:03:08,001 --> 00:03:10,751
‪該死,妳在這裡做什麼?

56
00:03:11,626 --> 00:03:13,334
‪吃東西,不然呢?

57
00:03:13,334 --> 00:03:15,084
‪天啊

58
00:03:15,084 --> 00:03:18,709
‪我願意為十個熱狗殺死一個人類嬰兒

59
00:03:19,293 --> 00:03:22,001
‪怎樣?我會殺死我不認識的好嗎

60
00:03:22,001 --> 00:03:24,126
‪所以這是妳的工作嗎?

61
00:03:24,126 --> 00:03:26,501
‪妳就這樣隨心所欲,隨時出現?

62
00:03:26,501 --> 00:03:28,418
‪就像我進耶魯那樣,是真的

63
00:03:28,418 --> 00:03:29,418
‪但聽著,我要...

64
00:03:29,418 --> 00:03:31,834
‪住嘴,我不想知道妳為什麼來這裡

65
00:03:31,834 --> 00:03:33,626
‪什麼?我是個超級粉絲

66
00:03:33,626 --> 00:03:35,668
‪你的影迷,電影有夠搞笑

67
00:03:35,668 --> 00:03:37,918
‪我說的當然不是喜劇

68
00:03:37,918 --> 00:03:41,459
‪-這也算是一種讚美
‪-夠了,妳得離開,快閃

69
00:03:41,459 --> 00:03:42,543
‪好吧,真沒禮貌

70
00:03:47,376 --> 00:03:49,584
‪不行喔,沒倒乾淨,我幫你擦

71
00:03:52,126 --> 00:03:53,043
‪拿去丟掉

72
00:03:53,043 --> 00:03:55,209
‪你去哪弄來這些古柯鹼?

73
00:03:56,168 --> 00:03:57,043
‪帥爆哥?

74
00:03:57,543 --> 00:04:01,334
‪他是在停車場賣電影明星家地圖的人

75
00:04:01,334 --> 00:04:03,751
‪他也賣古柯鹼,應該先說的

76
00:04:03,751 --> 00:04:05,626
‪-不如介紹一下吧
‪-現在?

77
00:04:05,626 --> 00:04:06,918
‪那下一幕呢?

78
00:04:06,918 --> 00:04:10,584
‪好,各位,修女,穿上溜冰鞋

79
00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:11,626
‪電影可以等

80
00:04:13,043 --> 00:04:13,876
‪站住

81
00:04:13,876 --> 00:04:18,043
‪片場在那邊
‪但你往這邊走,不合理吧

82
00:04:18,043 --> 00:04:20,168
‪只是出去一下

83
00:04:20,168 --> 00:04:23,126
‪是嗎?那幹嘛擺出打抱不平的表情?

84
00:04:23,126 --> 00:04:24,376
‪什麼打抱不平的表情?

85
00:04:24,376 --> 00:04:30,168
‪就是在使出空手道
‪槍戰、血流成河前出現的表情

86
00:04:30,168 --> 00:04:33,959
‪妳說那個打抱不平的表情啊

87
00:04:33,959 --> 00:04:36,334
‪幫幫忙,我們是來拍電影的

88
00:04:36,334 --> 00:04:38,251
‪導演正在準備下一個鏡頭

89
00:04:38,251 --> 00:04:42,376
‪放輕鬆,柏蒂小姐,這只是過肩鏡頭

90
00:04:42,376 --> 00:04:44,376
‪巴比雷可以當我的替身

91
00:04:44,376 --> 00:04:47,709
‪只有我記得這麼做有多糟嗎?

92
00:04:47,709 --> 00:04:48,626
‪(《藍色夏威夷》)

93
00:04:49,501 --> 00:04:51,293
‪等一下,我們已經在拍了嗎?

94
00:04:51,293 --> 00:04:53,084
‪等等,後座那是我的啤酒嗎?

95
00:04:55,584 --> 00:04:57,626
‪我們還在為那個可憐的男孩付出賠償

96
00:04:57,626 --> 00:05:00,834
‪放輕鬆,這部電影裡沒有小孩
‪他會表現得很好

97
00:05:00,834 --> 00:05:04,418
‪波多黎各街頭小鬼過來,拜託快點!

98
00:05:05,543 --> 00:05:07,293
‪我其實不是波多黎各人

99
00:05:07,293 --> 00:05:10,793
‪你們都不是
‪所以上帝發明了化妝的魔法

100
00:05:10,793 --> 00:05:12,709
‪你有沒有看劇本?

101
00:05:12,709 --> 00:05:14,668
‪我其實盡量不去看

102
00:05:18,001 --> 00:05:19,293
‪(明星地圖)

103
00:05:19,709 --> 00:05:22,334
‪天啊,真的是貓王

104
00:05:22,334 --> 00:05:24,293
‪天啊,哇靠

105
00:05:24,293 --> 00:05:26,251
‪你現在是醫生嗎?

106
00:05:27,084 --> 00:05:29,959
‪讓我猜猜看,你是帥爆哥?

107
00:05:35,626 --> 00:05:37,668
‪這有回答你的問題嗎?

108
00:05:37,668 --> 00:05:38,584
‪一點也沒有

109
00:05:38,584 --> 00:05:41,751
‪好吧,你想要明星地圖嗎?

110
00:05:41,751 --> 00:05:45,126
‪多付五塊錢就能得到
‪保羅紐曼的大門密碼

111
00:05:45,126 --> 00:05:47,251
‪我跟你說,帥爆哥

112
00:05:47,251 --> 00:05:50,334
‪我對你賣的其他東西更感興趣

113
00:05:50,334 --> 00:05:51,418
‪懂我的意思嗎?

114
00:05:52,251 --> 00:05:54,001
‪好啊

115
00:05:54,918 --> 00:05:55,751
‪你看

116
00:05:55,751 --> 00:05:57,626
‪告訴我,帥爆哥

117
00:05:57,626 --> 00:06:00,459
‪既然你是毒販,幹嘛穿得像皮條客?

118
00:06:00,459 --> 00:06:03,334
‪好吧,這兩者確實有重疊之處

119
00:06:03,334 --> 00:06:05,543
‪少廢話,你到底要不要古柯鹼?

120
00:06:05,543 --> 00:06:07,501
‪我全都包了

121
00:06:07,501 --> 00:06:08,418
‪全部?

122
00:06:11,084 --> 00:06:14,293
‪猜猜誰正式成為貓王的粉絲!

123
00:06:14,293 --> 00:06:15,751
‪讚啦

124
00:06:15,751 --> 00:06:19,084
‪很好,我通常不做大宗交易,但...

125
00:06:19,084 --> 00:06:20,834
‪-閉嘴
‪-好

126
00:06:20,834 --> 00:06:22,793
‪一般來說,我會扁你一頓

127
00:06:22,793 --> 00:06:25,918
‪誰叫你是打扮成皮條客的毒販

128
00:06:25,918 --> 00:06:27,001
‪打完就閃人

129
00:06:27,001 --> 00:06:29,834
‪但我今早過得不太尋常

130
00:06:31,043 --> 00:06:32,501
‪老實說,我也是

131
00:06:32,501 --> 00:06:35,168
‪-我今天的目標是位階更大的人
‪-好喔

132
00:06:35,168 --> 00:06:39,084
‪說來話長
‪但我有點不爽我現在不在太空

133
00:06:39,084 --> 00:06:41,959
‪就是說啊,你說的很有道理

134
00:06:41,959 --> 00:06:45,209
‪但我不能在
‪不被發現的情況下到處走動

135
00:06:45,209 --> 00:06:47,751
‪所以我需要借點東西

136
00:06:50,834 --> 00:06:55,293
‪老實說,你穿起來比我好看多了

137
00:06:55,293 --> 00:06:57,793
‪對,誰能料到呢

138
00:07:01,918 --> 00:07:03,584
‪(絕對不准進入)

139
00:07:03,584 --> 00:07:06,918
‪任務控制中心正在等待消息,登月...

140
00:07:07,834 --> 00:07:09,668
‪萊德探員,妳在做什麼?

141
00:07:09,668 --> 00:07:10,876
‪沒什麼

142
00:07:10,876 --> 00:07:11,918
‪很好

143
00:07:11,918 --> 00:07:16,334
‪那妳有足夠的時間告訴我
‪貓王為什麼不在片場拍電影

144
00:07:16,334 --> 00:07:20,834
‪妳知道這對我來說非常重要

145
00:07:21,876 --> 00:07:24,126
‪媽的死定了,他到底跑去哪了?

146
00:07:26,834 --> 00:07:27,959
‪我們要去哪裡?

147
00:07:27,959 --> 00:07:30,751
‪拜託,老兄,你知道我不能告訴你

148
00:07:30,751 --> 00:07:33,876
‪因為告密者最後都沒好下場

149
00:07:33,876 --> 00:07:35,834
‪對,我聽過這句話

150
00:07:35,834 --> 00:07:38,168
‪但你知道什麼比那更糟嗎?

151
00:07:39,209 --> 00:07:40,459
‪我現在知道了

152
00:07:41,001 --> 00:07:44,709
‪好吧,貓王
‪做什麼都行,別傷到大衣

153
00:07:46,001 --> 00:07:47,168
‪這要求很合理

154
00:07:55,334 --> 00:07:57,209
‪呼叫約翰卡彭特醫生

155
00:07:58,209 --> 00:08:00,751
‪-可惡
‪-你不是應該要拍電影?

156
00:08:00,751 --> 00:08:03,543
‪聽好,別鬧了,好嗎?
‪妳到底想幹嘛?

157
00:08:03,543 --> 00:08:06,168
‪天啊,疑神疑鬼的
‪沒幹嘛,人與人的信任呢?

158
00:08:06,168 --> 00:08:07,251
‪被輻射毀了

159
00:08:07,251 --> 00:08:09,918
‪別忘了拉斯維加斯的核子爆炸

160
00:08:09,918 --> 00:08:13,709
‪那這是什麼?偷溜出來打抱不平?

161
00:08:13,709 --> 00:08:16,168
‪不過是看不慣惡行罷了

162
00:08:16,168 --> 00:08:19,834
‪對,效果超棒,難怪看不到惡行了

163
00:08:19,834 --> 00:08:21,626
‪這叫做有所作為

164
00:08:21,626 --> 00:08:23,793
‪才不是,這完全是浪費時間

165
00:08:23,793 --> 00:08:27,001
‪我知道這是怎麼回事
‪替你做個總結吧

166
00:08:27,001 --> 00:08:29,709
‪無論你抓了多少小型毒販

167
00:08:29,709 --> 00:08:31,126
‪你都到不了月球

168
00:08:31,126 --> 00:08:33,251
‪-妳臉上有芥末醬
‪-對,我知道

169
00:08:33,251 --> 00:08:36,168
‪妳不介意嗎?
‪臉上沾著芥末醬走來走去?

170
00:08:36,168 --> 00:08:38,834
‪哇靠!卡彭特醫生身上有槍?

171
00:08:39,501 --> 00:08:40,584
‪劇情急轉彎

172
00:08:40,584 --> 00:08:42,293
‪等等,那句台詞是什麼來著?

173
00:08:42,293 --> 00:08:45,251
‪你的台詞是“好”,該死的蠢貨

174
00:08:48,584 --> 00:08:49,543
‪夜視鏡

175
00:08:50,501 --> 00:08:53,168
‪糟糕,該死

176
00:08:53,918 --> 00:08:57,084
‪好,我喜歡會起火的眼鏡

177
00:08:57,834 --> 00:08:59,418
‪但這玩意有透視功能

178
00:08:59,418 --> 00:09:00,751
‪-真的嗎?
‪-千真萬確

179
00:09:00,751 --> 00:09:03,543
‪如果顛倒電極,會燒壞眼球

180
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:04,876
‪殺傷威力十足

181
00:09:04,876 --> 00:09:06,584
‪-聽妳在胡扯
‪-不信問我室友

182
00:09:06,584 --> 00:09:10,126
‪但別看她的眼睛,看起來超詭異

183
00:09:10,959 --> 00:09:12,501
‪好樣的,繼續

184
00:09:14,043 --> 00:09:16,501
‪天啊,好,我要搬來這裡

185
00:09:17,418 --> 00:09:18,834
‪等他們搬出去

186
00:09:18,834 --> 00:09:21,001
‪是很酷啦,護目鏡要多少錢?

187
00:09:21,001 --> 00:09:24,001
‪你買不起
‪也許披頭四可以,但你就算了

188
00:09:24,001 --> 00:09:27,043
‪妳的神奇護目鏡能不能告訴我

189
00:09:27,043 --> 00:09:29,459
‪那扇門的另一邊有什麼?

190
00:09:29,459 --> 00:09:32,209
‪那有什麼樂趣,笨蛋?速戰速決

191
00:09:32,209 --> 00:09:34,834
‪卡彭特醫生必須藉由相信自己的力量

192
00:09:34,834 --> 00:09:36,501
‪治療孤兒的結核病

193
00:09:37,209 --> 00:09:38,876
‪天啊,劇本太爛了

194
00:09:38,876 --> 00:09:40,126
‪收到,休士頓

195
00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:47,668
‪我們現在只能耐心等待

196
00:09:48,418 --> 00:09:52,459
‪登月小艇準備降落的同時...

197
00:09:52,459 --> 00:09:55,918
‪帥爆哥,這麼快就來補貨啦?

198
00:09:58,876 --> 00:10:00,043
‪嘿,那...

199
00:10:01,626 --> 00:10:02,459
‪天啊

200
00:10:05,876 --> 00:10:09,459
‪規模還不錯嘛
‪要不要告訴我是誰在作主?

201
00:10:09,459 --> 00:10:10,876
‪去你的

202
00:10:10,876 --> 00:10:11,959
‪再試一次

203
00:10:15,001 --> 00:10:18,001
‪我想吹口哨,但你把我的牙齒打掉了

204
00:10:18,001 --> 00:10:19,293
‪兄弟們!進來!

205
00:10:45,001 --> 00:10:45,834
‪媽的!

206
00:10:48,626 --> 00:10:51,501
‪你知道這麼做不會讓你好過點吧?

207
00:10:51,501 --> 00:10:52,959
‪我們各持己見

208
00:10:56,043 --> 00:10:58,751
‪是時候告訴你殘酷的事實
‪不管你做什麼

209
00:10:58,751 --> 00:11:00,751
‪你都不會變成太空人

210
00:11:00,751 --> 00:11:02,834
‪我願意付錢請妳閉嘴

211
00:11:02,834 --> 00:11:05,334
‪你的口氣跟我小時候我媽一樣

212
00:11:05,334 --> 00:11:06,876
‪聽起來像個女強人

213
00:11:07,584 --> 00:11:10,543
‪她付我的是香煙,好個女強人

214
00:11:27,959 --> 00:11:29,793
‪張大嘴巴,混蛋

215
00:11:29,793 --> 00:11:32,376
‪你損失的不只是那顆牙齒

216
00:11:32,376 --> 00:11:36,584
‪快說,你的貨比當地的毒販還多

217
00:11:37,459 --> 00:11:39,293
‪運送毒品的是...

218
00:11:44,834 --> 00:11:47,001
‪可惡,史卡特!

219
00:11:57,459 --> 00:12:00,459
‪天啊!透過眼鏡看起來好酷

220
00:12:06,334 --> 00:12:07,584
‪嘿,下雪了

221
00:12:09,459 --> 00:12:10,668
‪下雪了

222
00:12:10,668 --> 00:12:12,251
‪-下雪了
‪-好耶!

223
00:12:12,834 --> 00:12:14,084
‪好耶!

224
00:12:15,168 --> 00:12:17,209
‪可惡,史卡特,快回來

225
00:12:18,626 --> 00:12:19,959
‪他媽的週二

226
00:12:19,959 --> 00:12:21,168
‪這樣想吧

227
00:12:21,168 --> 00:12:24,543
‪至少你讓很多孩子認識毒品的危害

228
00:12:24,543 --> 00:12:27,501
‪藉由讓他們吸入大量毒品學到一課

229
00:12:29,001 --> 00:12:30,626
‪嘿!你要拋下我?

230
00:12:30,626 --> 00:12:31,751
‪好!

231
00:12:32,709 --> 00:12:33,918
‪-什麼?
‪-“好”

232
00:12:33,918 --> 00:12:36,418
‪什麼“好”?
‪我說台詞,還是那就是台詞?

233
00:12:36,418 --> 00:12:39,168
‪說吧,老兄,說“好”

234
00:12:39,168 --> 00:12:41,626
‪行,我是說“好”,可惡

235
00:12:41,626 --> 00:12:42,584
‪卡!

236
00:12:44,376 --> 00:12:45,209
‪貓王去哪了?

237
00:12:45,209 --> 00:12:48,209
‪只是出去買煙而已

238
00:12:48,209 --> 00:12:49,501
‪他不抽煙

239
00:12:50,918 --> 00:12:53,001
‪我有說煙嗎?我是說凱迪拉克

240
00:12:53,001 --> 00:12:56,543
‪你知道你很不擅長對我說謊吧?

241
00:12:56,543 --> 00:12:57,751
‪我知道,真可悲

242
00:12:58,834 --> 00:13:00,168
‪搞屁啊?

243
00:13:00,168 --> 00:13:02,834
‪可惡,貓王,我的大衣怎麼了?

244
00:13:02,834 --> 00:13:03,918
‪發生了很多事

245
00:13:03,918 --> 00:13:06,709
‪媽的,你知道那件大衣要多少錢嗎?

246
00:13:06,709 --> 00:13:09,834
‪對,你很懂昂貴的衣服

247
00:13:09,834 --> 00:13:12,334
‪聽好,菜鳥,你要談的

248
00:13:12,334 --> 00:13:14,043
‪是古柯鹼運送方式

249
00:13:14,043 --> 00:13:17,084
‪某個人爆炸之前跟我說的

250
00:13:17,084 --> 00:13:19,418
‪那批古柯鹼運送方式

251
00:13:19,418 --> 00:13:22,626
‪有人爆炸?什麼...什麼運送方式?

252
00:13:22,626 --> 00:13:25,293
‪他們什麼都沒跟我說,好嗎?

253
00:13:25,293 --> 00:13:26,501
‪我發誓

254
00:13:27,501 --> 00:13:30,459
‪看到了嗎?
‪那表示史卡特不喜歡你的答案

255
00:13:30,459 --> 00:13:33,709
‪好啦,去找大棒

256
00:13:33,709 --> 00:13:38,459
‪他會知道的,他總是在四號碼頭附近
‪我發誓,這次是真的

257
00:13:38,459 --> 00:13:40,876
‪我的老二會瘀青

258
00:13:40,876 --> 00:13:41,834
‪很好

259
00:13:41,834 --> 00:13:44,334
‪聽著,帥爆哥,大衣的事很抱歉

260
00:13:46,168 --> 00:13:48,001
‪你穿那是什麼東西?

261
00:13:48,751 --> 00:13:49,584
‪說來話長

262
00:13:49,584 --> 00:13:52,001
‪看來你偷了皮條客的衣服

263
00:13:52,001 --> 00:13:53,251
‪不只是我這麼想

264
00:13:53,251 --> 00:13:55,793
‪-你在做什麼?
‪-我來拿東西

265
00:13:55,793 --> 00:13:58,043
‪你是指一堆槍和子彈

266
00:13:58,918 --> 00:14:02,709
‪看吧,我就知道那是你的沒子彈表情

267
00:14:02,709 --> 00:14:05,709
‪我們現在要做的是讓你回到片場

268
00:14:05,709 --> 00:14:07,709
‪-巴比雷能應付
‪-想打賭嗎?

269
00:14:07,709 --> 00:14:09,043
‪開拍!

270
00:14:09,626 --> 00:14:10,876
‪等一下

271
00:14:11,876 --> 00:14:13,251
‪我的動機是什麼?

272
00:14:13,251 --> 00:14:14,959
‪開門啊,你這蠢貨

273
00:14:14,959 --> 00:14:16,959
‪你要站在門的另一邊

274
00:14:21,001 --> 00:14:24,584
‪正是這些時刻能令人感到

275
00:14:24,584 --> 00:14:26,584
‪我們是歷史的一部分

276
00:14:37,584 --> 00:14:39,126
‪別去想了,好嗎?

277
00:14:39,126 --> 00:14:42,168
‪我知道你忿忿不平
‪因為你沒完成美國太空總署訓練

278
00:14:42,918 --> 00:14:45,543
‪“滿嘴謊言”?誰,尼爾阿姆斯壯?

279
00:14:45,543 --> 00:14:48,501
‪每個人都是美國的英雄

280
00:14:48,501 --> 00:14:53,334
‪舉國上下的希望和夢想
‪都在他們的肩上

281
00:14:53,334 --> 00:14:57,793
‪西西,我發現貓王還沒去片場

282
00:14:57,793 --> 00:15:00,251
‪兇狠地強調“還沒”

283
00:15:00,251 --> 00:15:01,793
‪我知道,我正在努力

284
00:15:01,793 --> 00:15:03,001
‪可能要快一點

285
00:15:03,001 --> 00:15:04,293
‪是的,長官,明白了

286
00:15:06,543 --> 00:15:08,084
‪有趣的題外話

287
00:15:08,084 --> 00:15:11,543
‪我曾經因為開胃菜等太久

288
00:15:11,543 --> 00:15:15,459
‪就把服務生的股骨做成沙拉叉子

289
00:15:16,584 --> 00:15:19,626
‪天啊,妳應該看看他孫子的表情

290
00:15:19,626 --> 00:15:22,668
‪他的孫子在那裡做什麼?好多疑點

291
00:15:23,959 --> 00:15:25,459
‪太好了,妳回來了

292
00:15:25,459 --> 00:15:29,084
‪我猜我們在過度補償
‪沒有登陸月球的空虛感

293
00:15:29,084 --> 00:15:30,459
‪別說那麼多廢話

294
00:15:30,459 --> 00:15:31,876
‪聽著,我懂

295
00:15:31,876 --> 00:15:34,168
‪我媽在濕T恤比賽贏過我

296
00:15:34,168 --> 00:15:36,834
‪我絕食三個月,還把酒吧燒了

297
00:15:37,834 --> 00:15:41,668
‪-我們要去哪裡?
‪-這裡沒有“我們”

298
00:15:41,668 --> 00:15:44,459
‪而且妳臉上還有芥末醬

299
00:15:44,459 --> 00:15:47,459
‪-謝謝你注意到我,我覺得被看見了
‪-妳不懂

300
00:15:47,459 --> 00:15:49,584
‪-至少讓我載你一程吧
‪-不了,謝謝

301
00:15:49,584 --> 00:15:52,084
‪是嗎?你確定嗎,大個子?

302
00:15:58,668 --> 00:16:02,876
‪應該再過不久就能聽到
‪阿波羅11號英勇的太空人傳來消息

303
00:16:02,876 --> 00:16:04,334
‪告知最後降落結果

304
00:16:04,334 --> 00:16:06,084
‪加油啊,各位,你們行的

305
00:16:06,084 --> 00:16:09,251
‪說到這,事成後送你回片場如何?

306
00:16:09,251 --> 00:16:10,584
‪不,電影可以等

307
00:16:10,584 --> 00:16:12,876
‪我們要阻止大批毒品運來這裡

308
00:16:12,876 --> 00:16:16,293
‪對,每天都有成千上萬的毒品運過來

309
00:16:17,209 --> 00:16:19,043
‪對了,這輛車是哪來的?

310
00:16:19,043 --> 00:16:20,626
‪挺不錯的吧?公司車

311
00:16:20,626 --> 00:16:22,376
‪-我能按這些按鈕嗎?
‪-按吧

312
00:16:22,376 --> 00:16:28,209
‪等等,我不想被電擊
‪或被彈出座位之類的狗屁把戲

313
00:16:28,209 --> 00:16:31,334
‪那就別碰,不,我不會碰大部分按鈕

314
00:16:32,834 --> 00:16:33,751
‪謝謝?

315
00:16:33,751 --> 00:16:35,751
‪他問這裡有沒有酒

316
00:16:35,751 --> 00:16:39,043
‪這是功能強大
‪最先進的情報蒐集工具

317
00:16:39,043 --> 00:16:40,751
‪右邊第三個按鈕

318
00:16:45,918 --> 00:16:48,751
‪應該是右邊第四個按鈕,好像是

319
00:16:52,751 --> 00:16:55,126
‪天啊,我們永遠找不到這個人吧?

320
00:16:55,126 --> 00:16:58,584
‪對,所以上帝發明了訂製車牌的笨蛋

321
00:16:58,584 --> 00:17:01,168
‪(大棒)

322
00:17:02,793 --> 00:17:03,626
‪嘿,兄弟

323
00:17:04,209 --> 00:17:05,418
‪我需要跟你談談

324
00:17:09,418 --> 00:17:10,418
‪可惡,史卡特!

325
00:17:11,001 --> 00:17:13,418
‪按鈕不是玩具

326
00:17:38,126 --> 00:17:41,084
‪看來你不玩追逐遊戲了

327
00:17:41,709 --> 00:17:43,334
‪你到底想怎樣?

328
00:17:43,334 --> 00:17:44,876
‪告訴我毒品運送的事

329
00:17:44,876 --> 00:17:47,668
‪媽的,克麗奧佩脫拉昨天就出貨了

330
00:17:47,668 --> 00:17:48,709
‪克麗奧佩脫拉?

331
00:17:51,584 --> 00:17:53,709
‪你們拋下我,真討厭

332
00:17:53,709 --> 00:17:56,126
‪所以這一大批毒品運往哪裡?

333
00:17:57,584 --> 00:17:58,793
‪已經走了

334
00:17:58,793 --> 00:17:59,834
‪很好

335
00:17:59,834 --> 00:18:02,543
‪好,如同我先前所說

336
00:18:02,543 --> 00:18:04,334
‪“完全是他媽的浪費...”

337
00:18:05,834 --> 00:18:07,418
{\an8}‪(克麗奧佩脫拉號)

338
00:18:07,418 --> 00:18:08,626
‪“時間”,可惡

339
00:18:08,626 --> 00:18:10,834
‪抱歉,妳剛才說什麼?

340
00:18:10,834 --> 00:18:14,168
‪妳說妳大錯特錯?

341
00:18:15,626 --> 00:18:16,751
‪不錯的大衣

342
00:18:20,876 --> 00:18:22,168
‪掩護你?等等

343
00:18:36,043 --> 00:18:37,418
‪他媽的週二

344
00:18:38,418 --> 00:18:40,501
‪我們需要計劃,他們要逃走了!

345
00:18:40,501 --> 00:18:42,168
‪如下,誰鳥你啊?

346
00:18:42,168 --> 00:18:43,793
‪-掩護我!
‪-媽的

347
00:18:43,793 --> 00:18:45,168
‪我討厭逞英雄時間

348
00:18:45,168 --> 00:18:48,209
‪先把話說清楚
‪我的“誰鳥你”計劃簡單多了

349
00:19:00,251 --> 00:19:02,418
‪角度下降三度,距離三公尺

350
00:19:06,793 --> 00:19:10,168
‪休士頓,這裡是靜海基地
‪鷹號已著陸

351
00:19:15,834 --> 00:19:16,668
‪等一下

352
00:19:16,668 --> 00:19:17,668
‪等什麼?

353
00:19:17,668 --> 00:19:20,501
‪等你送走我的車嗎?這叫先斬後奏

354
00:19:20,501 --> 00:19:24,334
‪不,我在離開之前按了所有按鈕

355
00:19:24,334 --> 00:19:26,793
‪那輛車會炸得到處都是

356
00:19:26,793 --> 00:19:29,084
‪等等,你按了所有按鈕?

357
00:19:29,084 --> 00:19:30,626
‪-對
‪-完蛋了

358
00:19:30,626 --> 00:19:32,584
‪-怎樣?
‪-那只能鎖車門

359
00:19:33,876 --> 00:19:38,126
‪但費城辦公室送上一個有趣的小玩意

360
00:19:43,751 --> 00:19:45,501
‪-我的媽呀
‪-沒錯

361
00:19:45,501 --> 00:19:46,418
‪跑哪去了?

362
00:19:46,418 --> 00:19:48,626
‪我不知道,我們還沒弄清楚

363
00:19:49,626 --> 00:19:50,876
‪幹嘛擺一副臭臉?

364
00:19:50,876 --> 00:19:52,459
‪錯過月球著陸

365
00:19:52,459 --> 00:19:54,959
‪別板著臉
‪我相信我們能讓他們再來一次

366
00:19:54,959 --> 00:19:57,251
‪-什麼?
‪-跟我來

367
00:19:57,834 --> 00:19:59,709
‪來人啊,有人在嗎?哈囉?

368
00:19:59,709 --> 00:20:03,376
‪該死的猴子,把槍塞進我老二

369
00:20:03,376 --> 00:20:05,668
‪今天還能更糟嗎?

370
00:20:13,334 --> 00:20:15,751
‪-台詞
‪-你根本沒有

371
00:20:15,751 --> 00:20:17,084
‪站著就好

372
00:20:17,709 --> 00:20:20,126
‪聽著,我花了12年

373
00:20:20,126 --> 00:20:22,834
‪拿到他媽的電影博士

374
00:20:22,834 --> 00:20:25,334
‪我可不會被該死的白痴阻止

375
00:20:25,334 --> 00:20:28,668
‪我深感同情,聽起來很令人沮喪

376
00:20:28,668 --> 00:20:29,584
‪誰是白痴?

377
00:20:30,334 --> 00:20:32,293
‪去他的,我要走了

378
00:20:32,293 --> 00:20:35,001
‪天啊,瑪莉泰勒摩爾剛說“去他的”?

379
00:20:36,126 --> 00:20:37,959
‪我愛上她了

380
00:20:37,959 --> 00:20:41,126
‪準備好大吃一驚吧

381
00:20:49,834 --> 00:20:51,209
‪天啊

382
00:20:51,209 --> 00:20:52,918
‪也許史卡特說得對

383
00:20:52,918 --> 00:20:55,543
‪這是怎麼回事?

384
00:20:55,543 --> 00:20:56,668
‪(《太空怪談》)

385
00:20:56,668 --> 00:20:59,168
‪這就是在創造歷史

386
00:20:59,834 --> 00:21:02,168
‪-你是誰?
‪-貓王,這位是我老大

387
00:21:02,168 --> 00:21:04,251
‪我很期待跟你見面

388
00:21:04,251 --> 00:21:07,543
‪甚至資助了隔壁那部狗屎電影
‪就為了讓你過來

389
00:21:07,543 --> 00:21:09,251
‪還精心布置一切

390
00:21:09,251 --> 00:21:12,376
‪飲料、點心、熔岩巧克力蛋糕

391
00:21:12,376 --> 00:21:14,709
‪擁抱、一起看登陸月球

392
00:21:14,709 --> 00:21:17,918
‪但有人動作太慢了

393
00:21:17,918 --> 00:21:20,459
‪對啊,多虧了他愛打抱不平

394
00:21:20,459 --> 00:21:22,959
‪有沒有搞錯?
‪我不知道我們有熔岩巧克力蛋糕

395
00:21:22,959 --> 00:21:25,126
‪等一下

396
00:21:25,126 --> 00:21:28,751
‪登陸月球,人類偉大的一刻

397
00:21:28,751 --> 00:21:29,834
‪是假的?

398
00:21:29,834 --> 00:21:32,584
‪這得歸功於電影天才的幫助

399
00:21:32,584 --> 00:21:34,459
‪跟史丹利庫柏力克打聲招呼

400
00:21:35,668 --> 00:21:36,543
‪怎麼了,史丹?

401
00:21:36,543 --> 00:21:39,584
‪我們的明星似乎不舒服

402
00:21:39,584 --> 00:21:40,959
‪在蹲馬桶嗎?

403
00:21:40,959 --> 00:21:45,168
‪不,他不小心喝下摻了古柯鹼的果汁

404
00:21:45,168 --> 00:21:46,793
‪他現在嗨翻天

405
00:21:46,793 --> 00:21:49,168
‪站在屋頂上,怎樣都不下來

406
00:21:49,168 --> 00:21:50,084
‪可惡,史卡特

407
00:21:50,084 --> 00:21:51,043
‪-什麼?
‪-沒事

408
00:21:51,043 --> 00:21:52,876
‪總得有人穿太空服

409
00:21:54,209 --> 00:21:55,584
‪貓王

410
00:21:55,584 --> 00:21:56,501
‪你說什麼?

411
00:21:57,459 --> 00:21:58,751
‪安靜,別擔心

412
00:21:58,751 --> 00:22:00,709
‪你跟尼爾的體型差不多

413
00:22:00,709 --> 00:22:03,293
‪我們錄好了台詞
‪你只要擺個姿勢就行了

414
00:22:03,293 --> 00:22:05,959
‪等一下,你是說要我...

415
00:22:05,959 --> 00:22:08,334
‪沒錯,成為第一個登上月球的人

416
00:22:08,334 --> 00:22:12,501
‪個人的一小步,是...下一句?

417
00:22:12,501 --> 00:22:14,626
‪“人類的一大步”

418
00:22:14,626 --> 00:22:18,751
‪應該是“一個人”吧?文法也要正確

419
00:22:18,751 --> 00:22:20,293
‪-不是
‪-好吧,不管了

420
00:22:20,293 --> 00:22:23,918
‪聽好,會有人發現這不是真的

421
00:22:23,918 --> 00:22:25,418
‪什麼是真的由我們決定

422
00:22:25,418 --> 00:22:26,793
‪這不是

423
00:22:26,793 --> 00:22:28,793
‪對全世界來說是

424
00:22:28,793 --> 00:22:30,001
‪我怎麼知道?

425
00:22:30,001 --> 00:22:32,209
‪因為華特克朗凱特這麼說

426
00:22:32,209 --> 00:22:34,709
‪等等,這上面有美乃滋嗎?

427
00:22:34,709 --> 00:22:37,834
‪因為那會是全國性的悲劇

428
00:22:37,834 --> 00:22:41,251
‪除非你想回到隔壁的修女那裡

429
00:22:46,293 --> 00:22:48,668
‪個人的一小步...

430
00:22:51,709 --> 00:22:54,459
‪是人類的一大步

431
00:23:08,793 --> 00:23:11,043
‪歡迎來到TCB

432
00:24:08,418 --> 00:24:11,793
‪字幕翻譯:張瀛