1
00:00:21,668 --> 00:00:23,543
‪好,現在該說重點了

2
00:00:23,543 --> 00:00:26,001
‪你們是誰?這是什麼?

3
00:00:26,001 --> 00:00:28,418
‪你想問問題,我可以理解

4
00:00:28,418 --> 00:00:31,501
‪沒錯,首先,TCB到底是什麼?

5
00:00:31,501 --> 00:00:32,793
‪耐心點

6
00:00:33,376 --> 00:00:35,459
‪現在正是時候

7
00:00:36,959 --> 00:00:38,376
‪-請坐
‪-他是誰?

8
00:00:38,376 --> 00:00:41,626
‪你不是唯一的稀有寵物行家

9
00:00:41,626 --> 00:00:43,959
‪這是我的寵物,他叫多爾

10
00:00:43,959 --> 00:00:47,709
‪-我其實唸哥倫比亞法學院
‪-現在他幫我去乾洗店跑腿

11
00:00:47,709 --> 00:00:49,584
‪對,我害自己出糗了

12
00:00:49,584 --> 00:00:50,834
‪沒錯

13
00:00:50,834 --> 00:00:51,793
‪能繼續說嗎?

14
00:00:51,793 --> 00:00:55,293
‪誰點了顛覆認知?

15
00:00:55,293 --> 00:00:58,334
‪-我們不是叫你別穿浴袍嗎?
‪-對,通融一下嘛

16
00:00:58,334 --> 00:01:02,959
‪去世的鄰居跟我穿同個尺寸
‪這種巧合能遇到幾次?

17
00:01:02,959 --> 00:01:05,793
‪等一下,那是什麼東西?

18
00:01:05,793 --> 00:01:09,709
‪我稱之為“增加臨場感”

19
00:01:09,709 --> 00:01:12,334
‪我以為我們稱之為“虛擬實境”

20
00:01:12,834 --> 00:01:16,459
‪“虛擬實境”?那兩個詞太矛盾了吧

21
00:01:16,459 --> 00:01:19,043
‪可以別那麼笨嗎?

22
00:01:20,709 --> 00:01:22,834
‪好了,放輕鬆

23
00:01:23,459 --> 00:01:26,126
‪特務貓王

24
00:01:38,543 --> 00:01:41,334
‪(TCB新特務報到)

25
00:01:41,918 --> 00:01:42,834
‪這是什麼鬼?

26
00:01:42,834 --> 00:01:45,043
‪你好,歡迎來到TCB

27
00:01:46,084 --> 00:01:46,959
‪TCB是什麼?

28
00:01:46,959 --> 00:01:49,209
‪TCB是“中央局”的縮寫

29
00:01:49,209 --> 00:01:53,584
‪本機構打從你們還沒出生前
‪就在保護美國的安全

30
00:01:54,584 --> 00:01:55,418
‪怎麼說?

31
00:01:55,418 --> 00:01:56,834
‪這麼說吧

32
00:01:56,834 --> 00:01:58,793
‪假如沒有TCB

33
00:01:58,793 --> 00:02:01,793
‪一半的人現在會在日本的鹽礦裡工作

34
00:02:01,793 --> 00:02:04,584
‪另一半則會在蘇聯工人的天堂

35
00:02:04,584 --> 00:02:06,626
‪販賣性癖好填飽肚子

36
00:02:06,626 --> 00:02:08,959
‪什麼是性癖好?

37
00:02:10,209 --> 00:02:11,543
‪小孩真的很笨

38
00:02:12,293 --> 00:02:14,293
‪請容我自我介紹

39
00:02:14,293 --> 00:02:18,834
‪我是指揮官
‪歷史悠久的TCB指揮官中最近一任

40
00:02:18,834 --> 00:02:23,168
‪我們在暗地裡塑造歷史
‪創造出現今的世界

41
00:02:23,168 --> 00:02:25,834
‪TCB的秘密力量影響深遠

42
00:02:27,293 --> 00:02:31,043
‪1952年,世上第一個氫彈

43
00:02:31,043 --> 00:02:33,084
‪那是我們了不起的成就

44
00:02:33,084 --> 00:02:35,084
‪當時很多人問“為什麼?”

45
00:02:35,084 --> 00:02:37,668
‪但在TCB,我們問的是

46
00:02:37,668 --> 00:02:39,209
‪“為什麼不行?”

47
00:02:40,376 --> 00:02:43,751
‪若少了秘密特務
‪我們的科技便無用武之地

48
00:02:43,751 --> 00:02:46,043
‪這是你能派上用場的地方

49
00:02:46,043 --> 00:02:47,459
‪(好萊塢)

50
00:02:47,459 --> 00:02:50,793
‪如果你正在看本片,那你可能很有名

51
00:02:50,793 --> 00:02:52,418
‪對了,恭喜你

52
00:02:52,418 --> 00:02:57,334
‪不只恭賀你的名聲
‪更重要的是取得成功的意志力

53
00:02:57,918 --> 00:03:00,168
‪像鋼鐵一般堅韌的毅力代表著

54
00:03:00,168 --> 00:03:04,751
‪你會為了在雪地中生存
‪殺死自己心愛的東西並吃下去

55
00:03:04,751 --> 00:03:09,043
‪因為這就是在美國成名的必要條件

56
00:03:10,376 --> 00:03:14,084
‪大門會為瑪麗蓮夢露那種人敞開
‪同樣也會為你而開

57
00:03:15,001 --> 00:03:19,251
‪這就是為什麼一百多年來
‪TCB派了許多名人

58
00:03:19,251 --> 00:03:22,376
‪進行潛入、煽動、挪用資源任務

59
00:03:22,376 --> 00:03:24,626
‪如果布拉格那邊成功的話

60
00:03:24,626 --> 00:03:26,834
‪不惜以毒氣保護美國安全

61
00:03:32,126 --> 00:03:33,043
‪班傑明富蘭克林?

62
00:03:34,876 --> 00:03:36,626
‪那傢伙超邪惡的

63
00:03:37,209 --> 00:03:40,293
‪像他一樣,身為名人,你有影響力

64
00:03:40,293 --> 00:03:42,543
‪世人在乎你的想法

65
00:03:42,543 --> 00:03:44,709
‪而這種手段正是

66
00:03:44,709 --> 00:03:48,418
‪TCB在暗地裡塑造歷史
‪創造出現今世界的諸多手段之一

67
00:03:48,418 --> 00:03:49,876
‪不客氣

68
00:03:49,876 --> 00:03:55,334
‪請記住,在TCB,我們不只操縱文明

69
00:03:55,334 --> 00:03:56,959
‪我們還喜歡享樂

70
00:03:57,501 --> 00:03:59,584
‪我們甚至有年度公司旅遊

71
00:04:00,126 --> 00:04:01,584
‪但現在不去海灘了

72
00:04:01,584 --> 00:04:05,751
‪上次去海邊度假的時候
‪演變成豬玀灣事件

73
00:04:05,751 --> 00:04:08,001
‪我們學到了教訓

74
00:04:08,001 --> 00:04:09,668
‪歡迎加入團隊

75
00:04:09,668 --> 00:04:12,834
‪記住,你不再只是名人了

76
00:04:12,834 --> 00:04:16,209
‪你是美國豐功偉業的角鬥士

77
00:04:18,501 --> 00:04:21,459
‪我的天啊,他們的腹肌線條分明

78
00:04:23,918 --> 00:04:26,209
‪你以為我會相信你嗎?

79
00:04:26,751 --> 00:04:29,668
‪我想你我都知道你已經相信了

80
00:04:29,668 --> 00:04:31,126
‪你覺得如何?

81
00:04:32,918 --> 00:04:33,959
‪厲害的特務裝備?

82
00:04:33,959 --> 00:04:35,251
‪那算是重點

83
00:04:35,251 --> 00:04:36,626
‪拯救美國?

84
00:04:36,626 --> 00:04:38,001
‪幾乎是每日例行任務

85
00:04:38,001 --> 00:04:39,084
‪超級無敵危險?

86
00:04:39,084 --> 00:04:43,501
‪我幾乎可以保證死相悽慘

87
00:04:45,418 --> 00:04:47,376
‪訓練馬上開始,準備好

88
00:04:48,251 --> 00:04:50,918
‪再見囉,西西,東西的西

89
00:04:50,918 --> 00:04:52,876
‪且慢,你不能帶著太空服離開

90
00:04:52,876 --> 00:04:53,918
‪麻煩歸還

91
00:04:53,918 --> 00:04:56,501
‪我穿著這套服裝上月球

92
00:04:57,043 --> 00:04:58,501
‪我很確定這是我應得的

93
00:04:58,501 --> 00:05:01,001
‪(太陽谷)

94
00:05:11,584 --> 00:05:14,626
‪抱歉,妮絲比女士,妳出局了

95
00:05:14,626 --> 00:05:15,918
‪王八蛋

96
00:05:20,001 --> 00:05:21,501
‪少來了

97
00:05:21,501 --> 00:05:23,418
‪誰不愛貓王?

98
00:05:23,418 --> 00:05:25,251
‪那男人是個禍害

99
00:05:25,251 --> 00:05:28,043
‪他看起來像個男妓的理髮師

100
00:05:29,376 --> 00:05:31,043
‪但長得不難看

101
00:05:39,043 --> 00:05:41,001
‪想到他的翹臀我就心花怒放

102
00:05:41,001 --> 00:05:43,709
‪那男人的屁股像山獅一樣

103
00:05:56,751 --> 00:05:59,209
‪效果比我們預期的還要好

104
00:06:00,626 --> 00:06:01,626
‪回應率?

105
00:06:01,626 --> 00:06:03,209
‪超過五成

106
00:06:03,793 --> 00:06:05,376
‪請稍後

107
00:06:10,709 --> 00:06:12,501
‪少尉,有沒有怎樣?

108
00:06:13,251 --> 00:06:15,459
‪那個女人看起來很可笑

109
00:06:15,459 --> 00:06:19,001
‪誰會穿這種衣服在銀河系飛行?

110
00:06:20,209 --> 00:06:24,376
{\an8}‪看來穿著叢林貓紋連身服的人很嫉妒

111
00:06:24,376 --> 00:06:25,459
{\an8}‪老娘才不會嫉妒

112
00:06:25,459 --> 00:06:28,209
{\an8}‪我還是不敢相信妳跟寇克艦長交往

113
00:06:28,209 --> 00:06:29,876
{\an8}‪這個嘛...

114
00:06:29,876 --> 00:06:33,126
{\an8}‪好吧,我們不算在交往

115
00:06:33,126 --> 00:06:36,043
{\an8}‪不過那天晚上,我讓他...

116
00:06:36,043 --> 00:06:38,418
{\an8}‪-等等
‪-不了,謝謝

117
00:06:38,418 --> 00:06:40,584
{\an8}‪不用了,謝謝,我聽夠了

118
00:06:40,584 --> 00:06:42,876
{\an8}‪你們有什麼毛病?成熟點吧

119
00:06:42,876 --> 00:06:47,043
{\an8}‪我想繼續這樣下去,腦中沒有那畫面

120
00:06:47,043 --> 00:06:50,043
{\an8}‪對,這好比不小心看到爸媽裸體

121
00:06:50,043 --> 00:06:52,668
{\an8}‪他們正同時和寇克艦長啪啪啪

122
00:06:52,668 --> 00:06:54,334
{\an8}‪沒有人需要知道

123
00:06:55,084 --> 00:06:56,251
{\an8}‪那是你自己的看法

124
00:06:56,793 --> 00:06:57,751
{\an8}‪抱歉打擾了

125
00:06:57,751 --> 00:06:59,959
{\an8}‪什麼?這是怎麼回事?

126
00:06:59,959 --> 00:07:01,959
{\an8}‪想必妳是柏蒂小姐吧

127
00:07:01,959 --> 00:07:03,543
{\an8}‪讓我猜猜

128
00:07:03,543 --> 00:07:06,834
{\an8}‪你是經營愚蠢秘密俱樂部的混蛋

129
00:07:06,834 --> 00:07:10,626
{\an8}‪還差點在核子爆炸中
‪害死我的寶貝貓王

130
00:07:10,626 --> 00:07:12,209
{\an8}‪天啊,我愛妳的氣勢

131
00:07:12,209 --> 00:07:15,293
{\an8}‪他並沒有差點被殺死

132
00:07:15,959 --> 00:07:18,001
{\an8}‪嚴格來說,他是幾乎被殺死

133
00:07:18,001 --> 00:07:19,793
{\an8}‪-根據輻射...
‪-霍華!

134
00:07:20,584 --> 00:07:23,543
{\an8}‪準備好了嗎?
‪因為你的訓練從現在開始

135
00:07:23,543 --> 00:07:25,334
{\an8}‪訓練?你在說什麼?

136
00:07:25,334 --> 00:07:27,084
{\an8}‪派你執行第一次任務

137
00:07:27,084 --> 00:07:29,251
{\an8}‪什麼?等一下,混蛋

138
00:07:29,251 --> 00:07:34,043
{\an8}‪派他執行第一次任務不是訓練

139
00:07:34,043 --> 00:07:37,168
‪在TCB,我們的訓練不是訓練

140
00:07:37,168 --> 00:07:40,043
‪你真覺得這樣說得通?

141
00:07:40,043 --> 00:07:44,126
‪我們透過實做
‪與獨自應付挑戰進行訓練

142
00:07:44,126 --> 00:07:46,501
‪就像維京人教寶寶游泳那樣

143
00:07:46,501 --> 00:07:48,209
‪大多數寶寶應該游得不錯

144
00:07:48,209 --> 00:07:51,751
‪你以為你可以隨意闖入我家電視

145
00:07:51,751 --> 00:07:55,751
‪打擾柏蒂看《星際爭霸戰》
‪派我出任務?

146
00:07:55,751 --> 00:07:58,168
‪我有提到可能有噴射背包嗎?

147
00:07:58,168 --> 00:08:00,043
‪-我們要去哪?
‪-熟悉阿爾塔蒙特嗎?

148
00:08:00,043 --> 00:08:01,626
‪那是什麼?某種車款?

149
00:08:01,626 --> 00:08:05,418
‪不,老兄,那在舊金山
‪人稱西部胡士托

150
00:08:05,418 --> 00:08:08,418
‪聽說會是重現愛之夏

151
00:08:08,418 --> 00:08:10,168
‪這樣啊,我懂了

152
00:08:10,168 --> 00:08:13,334
‪嬉皮狂歡雜交演唱會,明白

153
00:08:13,334 --> 00:08:16,001
‪沒錯,到時會給你資料

154
00:08:16,001 --> 00:08:18,918
‪也許換上比較不像你的衣服

155
00:08:18,918 --> 00:08:20,334
‪你給我說話小心點

156
00:08:20,334 --> 00:08:21,876
‪他們要拍紀錄片

157
00:08:21,876 --> 00:08:25,168
‪周圍會有攝影機,確保你能融入人群

158
00:08:30,834 --> 00:08:31,918
‪你知道嗎?

159
00:08:31,918 --> 00:08:34,584
‪這套衣服穿在我身上看起來不荒謬

160
00:08:34,584 --> 00:08:36,501
‪對啊,有道理

161
00:08:36,501 --> 00:08:39,876
‪彼得方達經常打來
‪問什麼時候能拿回摩托車

162
00:08:39,876 --> 00:08:40,959
‪你跟他說什麼?

163
00:08:40,959 --> 00:08:42,459
‪“什麼摩托車?”

164
00:08:42,459 --> 00:08:43,418
‪好樣的

165
00:08:45,751 --> 00:08:47,709
‪等等,貓王

166
00:08:47,709 --> 00:08:52,001
‪我以為這會是你跟我騎車兜風

167
00:08:52,001 --> 00:08:54,668
‪像是兄弟旅行,沒有...

168
00:08:55,751 --> 00:08:59,126
‪拿著三種武器威脅要殺死我的黑猩猩

169
00:09:00,126 --> 00:09:02,501
‪對,你也是,毛茸茸的混帳

170
00:09:07,126 --> 00:09:07,959
‪又是我

171
00:09:07,959 --> 00:09:09,418
‪天啊

172
00:09:09,418 --> 00:09:10,793
‪我想澄清一下

173
00:09:10,793 --> 00:09:14,084
‪妳剛才說我是混蛋

174
00:09:14,084 --> 00:09:16,793
‪我想解釋為什麼不是那樣

175
00:09:16,793 --> 00:09:19,543
‪我可以聽,親愛的,但我做不到

176
00:09:19,543 --> 00:09:21,168
‪因為老娘不想聽

177
00:09:23,001 --> 00:09:26,168
‪那可能不是最明智的做法

178
00:09:26,168 --> 00:09:29,709
‪史巴克,我可以借你的耳朵
‪當萬聖節裝扮嗎?

179
00:09:29,709 --> 00:09:32,626
‪今年我想扮成愛批評別人的討厭鬼

180
00:09:51,334 --> 00:09:52,584
‪(阿爾塔蒙特賽車場)

181
00:09:55,959 --> 00:09:59,293
‪想到這一切都源於我本人

182
00:09:59,293 --> 00:10:02,084
‪在圖珀洛五金行花七元買一把吉他

183
00:10:02,084 --> 00:10:05,043
‪天啊,看來你有健康的自我形象

184
00:10:05,043 --> 00:10:08,168
‪太好了,是...妳

185
00:10:08,168 --> 00:10:09,334
‪有趣的打扮

186
00:10:09,334 --> 00:10:11,168
‪我想融入群眾

187
00:10:14,834 --> 00:10:16,834
‪妳要說為什麼要我來這裡嗎?

188
00:10:18,584 --> 00:10:21,709
‪因為我開始覺得這是在浪費時間

189
00:10:23,126 --> 00:10:26,459
‪就像我和威利納爾遜的每一次對話

190
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:28,043
‪對了,他死了嗎?

191
00:10:31,918 --> 00:10:33,376
‪-沒有
‪-好,是這樣的

192
00:10:33,376 --> 00:10:35,834
‪身分不明的壞人偷走了TCB的科技

193
00:10:35,834 --> 00:10:38,751
‪據說還改造成聲波武器

194
00:10:38,751 --> 00:10:41,459
‪指揮官認為武器可能在這裡
‪或許很危險

195
00:10:41,459 --> 00:10:44,043
‪-有多危險?
‪-不曉得,目前只知道這些

196
00:10:44,043 --> 00:10:45,293
‪真是含糊不清

197
00:10:45,876 --> 00:10:47,126
‪這樣才有樂趣!

198
00:10:47,126 --> 00:10:49,168
‪不停給我大麻的猴子也很讚

199
00:10:49,168 --> 00:10:51,959
‪-注意有沒有奇怪的事
‪-噴射背包呢?

200
00:10:53,709 --> 00:10:55,168
‪我就知道你會上當

201
00:10:55,168 --> 00:10:56,501
‪沒有噴射背包

202
00:10:56,501 --> 00:10:59,001
‪但你能拿到這個,用來保持聯絡

203
00:10:59,584 --> 00:11:01,126
‪享受表演吧

204
00:11:01,126 --> 00:11:05,334
‪對了,我注意到你不在表演名單上

205
00:11:05,334 --> 00:11:06,334
‪妳可以走了

206
00:11:07,376 --> 00:11:09,793
‪放進他媽的尿布裡?真的嗎?

207
00:11:11,751 --> 00:11:14,084
‪不擦乾淨嗎?擦一下好嗎?

208
00:11:33,959 --> 00:11:37,168
‪這場合...不可能會出錯吧

209
00:11:45,793 --> 00:11:49,334
‪就像小孩走進世上最怪異的糖果店

210
00:11:49,334 --> 00:11:53,001
‪你能不能假裝知道什麼叫量力而行?

211
00:11:53,001 --> 00:11:53,918
‪恐怕不能

212
00:11:53,918 --> 00:11:56,209
‪傳送器無法運作

213
00:11:56,209 --> 00:11:58,876
‪多虧了這位蘇格蘭酒鬼

214
00:11:58,876 --> 00:12:00,168
‪我們初次見面有些誤會

215
00:12:00,168 --> 00:12:02,668
‪你再打斷我看電視啊!

216
00:12:02,668 --> 00:12:04,751
‪天啊,你只會創造誤會

217
00:12:04,751 --> 00:12:06,876
‪這樣吧,讓我請妳喝一杯

218
00:12:06,876 --> 00:12:09,209
‪我懂了

219
00:12:09,209 --> 00:12:10,418
‪什麼?

220
00:12:10,418 --> 00:12:12,709
‪-你有那種癖好
‪-妳說什麼?

221
00:12:12,709 --> 00:12:16,209
‪像你這種有權力的人習慣手到擒來

222
00:12:16,834 --> 00:12:20,251
‪所以你默默被那些數落你的女人吸引

223
00:12:20,251 --> 00:12:21,501
‪我真的沒有

224
00:12:21,501 --> 00:12:23,126
‪那就好

225
00:12:23,126 --> 00:12:25,876
‪現在把你奇怪的頭滾出我的電視

226
00:12:26,918 --> 00:12:28,126
‪太正了

227
00:12:29,126 --> 00:12:30,334
‪原來我有那種癖好

228
00:12:30,334 --> 00:12:32,126
‪別這樣,吃晚餐如何?

229
00:12:32,126 --> 00:12:34,834
‪喝酒、加油站爆米花、或別的

230
00:12:36,626 --> 00:12:39,001
‪重點不只是性和毒品

231
00:12:39,001 --> 00:12:42,168
‪你知道,這整個活動的重點是自由

232
00:12:42,168 --> 00:12:45,168
‪我是指自由自在

233
00:12:45,876 --> 00:12:47,084
‪等會再聊,道格

234
00:12:47,834 --> 00:12:49,334
‪融入得怎麼樣了?

235
00:12:49,834 --> 00:12:53,668
‪耶!最棒的一天!

236
00:12:55,543 --> 00:12:58,126
‪對,我朋友道格跟妳打招呼

237
00:12:58,126 --> 00:12:59,084
‪有發現什麼嗎?

238
00:12:59,084 --> 00:13:02,126
‪有,妳對地獄天使了解多少?

239
00:13:02,126 --> 00:13:05,459
‪我19歲時和其中一員交往過
‪因為我媽對我超壞

240
00:13:05,459 --> 00:13:08,876
‪舞台旁的人為了免費啤酒擔任保全

241
00:13:08,876 --> 00:13:11,668
‪有點像是做公益,但酒鬼才會去

242
00:13:11,668 --> 00:13:14,626
‪-不是他們,是冒牌貨
‪-什麼?

243
00:13:14,626 --> 00:13:17,209
‪那些在貨車旁邊打扮成地獄天使

244
00:13:17,209 --> 00:13:20,043
‪但絕對不是地獄天使的傢伙

245
00:13:20,043 --> 00:13:21,001
‪你怎麼知道?

246
00:13:21,001 --> 00:13:24,459
‪外套上沒有徽章,他們是冒牌貨

247
00:13:25,626 --> 00:13:28,126
‪-天啊
‪-對

248
00:13:28,126 --> 00:13:29,834
‪死之華樂團來了

249
00:13:29,834 --> 00:13:30,959
‪等一下再說

250
00:13:31,751 --> 00:13:33,209
‪要等多久?

251
00:13:33,209 --> 00:13:36,876
‪我哪知,認識傑瑞加西亞
‪或幫他吹喇叭要多久?你說呢?

252
00:13:36,876 --> 00:13:39,043
‪說真的,我有計畫

253
00:13:39,043 --> 00:13:40,418
‪你說我是騙子?

254
00:13:40,418 --> 00:13:44,876
‪不,當然不是
‪但我有機器能判斷妳有沒有說謊

255
00:13:44,876 --> 00:13:47,501
‪還有機器能判斷妳是不是想說謊

256
00:13:47,501 --> 00:13:49,959
‪但不敢說謊,因為看起來很可怕

257
00:13:49,959 --> 00:13:54,251
‪還有一台騙自己不是機器的機器

258
00:13:54,251 --> 00:13:57,084
‪-但它自殺了
‪-霍華!

259
00:13:57,084 --> 00:13:58,584
‪(死之華樂團)

260
00:14:01,709 --> 00:14:03,209
‪不能來這裡,小姑娘!

261
00:14:03,209 --> 00:14:04,126
‪誰說的?

262
00:14:04,126 --> 00:14:05,168
‪我

263
00:14:05,709 --> 00:14:06,543
‪剛剛說的

264
00:14:06,543 --> 00:14:08,751
‪我沒有要問你的意思,笨蛋

265
00:14:08,751 --> 00:14:11,543
‪這是老套的話,就像不要轉頭看...

266
00:14:13,918 --> 00:14:16,584
‪等等,妳是怎麼通過保全的?

267
00:14:16,584 --> 00:14:18,293
‪快點,樂團在哪裡?

268
00:14:18,293 --> 00:14:20,584
‪-還沒到
‪-但我看到他們的直升機降落

269
00:14:20,584 --> 00:14:23,793
‪對,他們正在裡頭呼麻

270
00:14:25,126 --> 00:14:27,043
‪天啊,早知道就組樂團了

271
00:14:28,876 --> 00:14:31,376
‪抱歉,朋友,禁止進入這裡

272
00:14:31,376 --> 00:14:32,876
‪你再說一次試試看

273
00:14:32,876 --> 00:14:34,334
‪哇靠,嘿...

274
00:14:34,334 --> 00:14:37,543
‪嘿!你是貓王艾維斯普里斯萊

275
00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:38,459
‪大家都這麼說

276
00:14:39,709 --> 00:14:41,459
‪小姐,妳快走吧

277
00:14:41,459 --> 00:14:43,584
‪放輕鬆,我跟傑瑞是老朋友了

278
00:14:43,584 --> 00:14:45,334
‪假設重複春夢也算的話

279
00:14:45,334 --> 00:14:47,084
‪-什麼?
‪-天啊,超棒的

280
00:14:47,084 --> 00:14:50,334
‪午夜時分,他扮成聖誕老人闖進我家

281
00:14:50,334 --> 00:14:53,001
‪他在我的淋浴間掐我脖子,激情火辣

282
00:14:53,709 --> 00:14:56,126
‪妳知道嗎?妳不是他的菜,快走吧

283
00:14:56,126 --> 00:14:58,709
‪他喜歡男生?太酷了,我沒問題

284
00:14:59,293 --> 00:15:01,168
‪不是,不可能的

285
00:15:01,168 --> 00:15:03,626
‪但如果妳想跟其他樂團上床

286
00:15:03,626 --> 00:15:05,501
‪-去抽號碼牌
‪-你說什麼?

287
00:15:05,501 --> 00:15:07,709
‪真的,在隔壁的追星族拖車裡

288
00:15:07,709 --> 00:15:10,626
‪第一頁是棄權同意書,仔細閱讀

289
00:15:10,626 --> 00:15:12,959
‪“拉屎癖”?真的嗎?

290
00:15:13,709 --> 00:15:14,834
‪對

291
00:15:14,834 --> 00:15:15,918
‪別做夢了

292
00:15:15,918 --> 00:15:18,001
‪抱歉,小姐,規則就是這樣

293
00:15:18,001 --> 00:15:21,084
‪我是獨立、活出自我的女權主義者

294
00:15:21,084 --> 00:15:24,834
‪這表示我總是照自己的規則
‪在拖車裡無意義地做愛

295
00:15:24,834 --> 00:15:27,501
‪我不確定那是“女權主義者”的意思

296
00:15:28,876 --> 00:15:31,209
‪嘿,貓王,嘿

297
00:15:31,209 --> 00:15:34,001
‪你知道我最喜歡貓王的哪一首歌嗎?

298
00:15:34,001 --> 00:15:35,501
‪只有一首歌喔?

299
00:15:37,459 --> 00:15:38,459
‪我只有...

300
00:15:39,459 --> 00:15:41,376
‪-老兄,你真搞笑
‪-什麼...

301
00:15:47,876 --> 00:15:53,168
‪高勒特...

302
00:15:53,168 --> 00:15:55,418
‪史卡特,快阻止那個禿頭

303
00:16:25,418 --> 00:16:26,793
‪希望你還是粉絲

304
00:16:31,043 --> 00:16:33,126
‪摧毀那鬼東西,史卡特

305
00:16:45,918 --> 00:16:46,751
‪好

306
00:16:46,751 --> 00:16:48,668
‪樂團要來了,妳得走了

307
00:16:48,668 --> 00:16:50,959
‪-我要走了
‪-追星族拖車在右邊

308
00:16:50,959 --> 00:16:54,293
‪-盡情享受,玩得盡興點
‪-我寧願被老二噎住

309
00:16:54,293 --> 00:16:56,834
{\an8}‪那其實也列在棄權同意書裡

310
00:16:59,501 --> 00:17:01,209
‪-搞...
‪-什麼鬼?

311
00:17:11,168 --> 00:17:13,418
‪那個傢伙破壞了大家的興致

312
00:17:13,418 --> 00:17:15,084
‪那樣不酷

313
00:17:15,084 --> 00:17:17,543
‪你和你的朋友可能毫無頭緒

314
00:17:17,543 --> 00:17:20,376
‪也顯然沒穿褲子,但你們挺上道的

315
00:17:26,043 --> 00:17:28,251
‪有沒有人說過你長得像貓王...

316
00:17:39,543 --> 00:17:41,084
‪你這是在幹嘛?

317
00:17:41,084 --> 00:17:43,209
‪我們在拍演唱會的紀錄片

318
00:17:43,209 --> 00:17:45,626
‪不,笨蛋,那個角度拍起來不好看

319
00:17:47,918 --> 00:17:50,584
‪哇,有人看起來糟透了

320
00:17:50,584 --> 00:17:51,959
‪那老頭跑去哪了?

321
00:18:03,126 --> 00:18:04,001
‪你在做什麼?

322
00:18:04,001 --> 00:18:06,334
‪接聽飄來史卡特下體味的電話

323
00:18:06,334 --> 00:18:08,126
‪想辦法完成我們兩個的任務

324
00:18:08,126 --> 00:18:09,126
‪可以了嗎?

325
00:18:09,959 --> 00:18:10,793
‪媽的

326
00:18:10,793 --> 00:18:11,709
‪嘿

327
00:18:12,293 --> 00:18:13,626
‪嘿,巴比雷,醒醒

328
00:18:13,626 --> 00:18:14,834
‪醒醒

329
00:18:16,126 --> 00:18:18,043
‪天啊,一定會超酷的

330
00:18:21,376 --> 00:18:22,959
‪搞什麼?

331
00:18:22,959 --> 00:18:24,376
‪有誰能告訴我

332
00:18:24,376 --> 00:18:27,751
‪我的頭上怎麼有忍者劍大小的針筒?

333
00:18:28,876 --> 00:18:29,959
‪不行

334
00:18:30,668 --> 00:18:31,876
‪開過這種飛機嗎?

335
00:18:31,876 --> 00:18:35,334
‪沒有,但這不過是上下顛倒的除草機

336
00:18:35,334 --> 00:18:36,293
‪包在我身上

337
00:18:40,168 --> 00:18:41,001
‪你又是誰?

338
00:18:41,001 --> 00:18:42,459
‪我是喬治,喬治盧卡斯

339
00:18:42,459 --> 00:18:44,543
‪好,你在做什麼?

340
00:18:44,543 --> 00:18:48,293
‪外面完全瘋了,所以我躲在這裡

341
00:18:49,376 --> 00:18:53,668
‪喬治,從安全的角度來看
‪你的情況似乎沒有好轉

342
00:18:55,668 --> 00:18:57,626
‪對,這位女士可能有道理

343
00:19:12,668 --> 00:19:14,626
‪是時候除草了

344
00:19:16,959 --> 00:19:18,959
‪瞄準目標

345
00:19:36,751 --> 00:19:38,209
‪嘿,貓王!接住

346
00:19:51,209 --> 00:19:52,209
‪你看看

347
00:19:52,209 --> 00:19:54,251
‪看起來像某種雷射劍

348
00:19:54,251 --> 00:19:55,751
‪比較像是光劍

349
00:19:55,751 --> 00:19:57,376
‪對,那也行

350
00:20:02,001 --> 00:20:02,834
‪可惡

351
00:20:03,501 --> 00:20:04,459
‪來,拿著

352
00:20:21,584 --> 00:20:23,168
‪出任務總是這樣?

353
00:20:23,668 --> 00:20:24,709
‪只有好的任務

354
00:20:25,876 --> 00:20:29,043
‪不管怎樣,希望妳今晚玩得開心

355
00:20:29,043 --> 00:20:30,626
‪那還用說

356
00:20:30,626 --> 00:20:33,959
‪好吧,但我不禁懷疑妳的約會對象

357
00:20:33,959 --> 00:20:37,459
‪有我本人威風凜凜、吸引人的氣場

358
00:20:38,543 --> 00:20:39,584
‪要打賭嗎?

359
00:20:43,001 --> 00:20:44,918
‪這是什麼該死的玩笑

360
00:20:44,918 --> 00:20:46,376
‪寇克艦長,有沒有搞錯?

361
00:20:51,418 --> 00:20:53,043
‪嘿,貓王,你好嗎?

362
00:20:53,043 --> 00:20:54,043
‪沒心情,寇克

363
00:20:56,709 --> 00:20:58,501
‪-幹嘛?
‪-你的口氣真兇

364
00:20:58,501 --> 00:21:00,543
‪-他媽的寇克
‪-你在說什麼?

365
00:21:00,543 --> 00:21:03,084
‪-任務進行得如何?
‪-貓王找到聲波武器

366
00:21:03,084 --> 00:21:05,584
‪順帶一提,那會讓人發瘋

367
00:21:05,584 --> 00:21:06,834
‪武器在哪?

368
00:21:06,834 --> 00:21:07,834
‪海底

369
00:21:08,626 --> 00:21:11,334
‪今天越來越糟了,對吧?

370
00:21:11,918 --> 00:21:13,501
‪多爾!過來領打

371
00:21:14,001 --> 00:21:15,126
‪我的榮幸,先生

372
00:22:08,918 --> 00:22:12,168
‪字幕翻譯:張瀛