1
00:00:13,543 --> 00:00:15,459
[rock music playing]
2
00:00:21,001 --> 00:00:24,001
Oh fuck. Can you believe this shit?
3
00:00:24,001 --> 00:00:27,834
Those rear echelon fuckers screwed up
and only gave me one sock.
4
00:00:27,834 --> 00:00:29,459
[laughs] Screwed up?
5
00:00:29,459 --> 00:00:31,918
Hey, the big green machine
does not make mistakes, Drew.
6
00:00:31,918 --> 00:00:32,959
[laughs]
7
00:00:32,959 --> 00:00:35,709
Oh yeah? Well, then, what am I
supposed to do with one sock?
8
00:00:35,709 --> 00:00:38,626
Hey, let me borrow that picture
of your sister and I'll show you.
9
00:00:38,626 --> 00:00:39,918
Fuck you.
10
00:00:39,918 --> 00:00:41,376
[rock music playing]
11
00:00:41,376 --> 00:00:43,251
[high-pitched drone]
12
00:00:43,251 --> 00:00:44,293
[gasps]
13
00:00:45,043 --> 00:00:46,626
[both scream]
14
00:00:46,626 --> 00:00:48,626
[snarling and growling]
15
00:00:51,001 --> 00:00:52,959
- [soldier screams]
- [gunshots]
16
00:00:56,501 --> 00:00:59,293
[reporter] The USO show.
What can you tell us about it?
17
00:00:59,293 --> 00:01:00,793
It's an honor to play for our boys.
18
00:01:00,793 --> 00:01:03,959
Mm-hmm. Well, what do you think
about the war they're fighting?
19
00:01:03,959 --> 00:01:08,001
Well, I'd just as soon keep
my personal views about that to myself.
20
00:01:08,001 --> 00:01:10,709
I'm just an entertainer,
so I'd rather not say.
21
00:01:12,043 --> 00:01:12,918
Walk with me.
22
00:01:12,918 --> 00:01:15,668
- Why didn't you just answer the question?
- About the war?
23
00:01:15,668 --> 00:01:18,501
Couple reasons.
Most of them being it's nobody's business.
24
00:01:18,501 --> 00:01:21,668
Come on. Look, you're a big deal.
People want to know what you think.
25
00:01:21,668 --> 00:01:23,418
And I've never understood why.
26
00:01:23,418 --> 00:01:25,418
[The Commander]
I can help you craft your message.
27
00:01:25,418 --> 00:01:27,834
- How's that sound?
- Like we're talking in circles here.
28
00:01:27,834 --> 00:01:29,459
Just think about it.
29
00:01:30,001 --> 00:01:30,834
Done.
30
00:01:30,834 --> 00:01:33,126
Ah, turns out I still don't want to.
31
00:01:33,126 --> 00:01:34,959
But if anybody
wants to talk about the show--
32
00:01:34,959 --> 00:01:38,584
Ooh, ooh, yeah. Speaking of.
How insanely great are they?
33
00:01:39,168 --> 00:01:40,418
[Elvis] Who? The strippers?
34
00:01:40,418 --> 00:01:42,418
[The Commander]
Uh, they're called dancers.
35
00:01:42,418 --> 00:01:45,043
For the show.
I designed the outfits myself.
36
00:01:45,043 --> 00:01:49,001
You really think it's a good idea to put
those ladies in front of a crowd of GIs
37
00:01:49,001 --> 00:01:52,501
who've been living in the jungle,
with each other only, for a year?
38
00:01:52,501 --> 00:01:54,584
It's called showmanship.
39
00:01:54,584 --> 00:01:57,251
No, it's actually called
a rhetorical question.
40
00:01:57,251 --> 00:01:59,959
Hello, hello. Am I interrupting?
41
00:01:59,959 --> 00:02:02,168
What the hell's Robert Goulet doing here?
42
00:02:02,168 --> 00:02:04,209
Oh, he didn't tell you?
43
00:02:04,209 --> 00:02:06,418
Why, I'm part of this USO show.
44
00:02:06,418 --> 00:02:08,293
Some might say the best part.
45
00:02:08,293 --> 00:02:10,793
Haven't the boys over here
been through enough already?
46
00:02:10,793 --> 00:02:15,126
I think a Tony Award-winning Broadway
star is just what the doctor ordered.
47
00:02:15,126 --> 00:02:17,084
That depends on the doctor, I guess.
48
00:02:17,084 --> 00:02:20,876
You know, I've got this kid
who mows my lawn, weapons-grade moron,
49
00:02:20,876 --> 00:02:23,959
been stuck in the sixth grade for years,
big fan of yours.
50
00:02:23,959 --> 00:02:27,334
He had one of your "rock and roll jingles"
playing on the radio the other day.
51
00:02:27,334 --> 00:02:28,709
Catchy, in places.
52
00:02:28,709 --> 00:02:32,543
Happen to remember
which one of my 18 number-one hits it was?
53
00:02:32,543 --> 00:02:36,626
Hard to tell.
Something about dogs or jail or something.
54
00:02:36,626 --> 00:02:38,668
It was all very confusing.
55
00:02:38,668 --> 00:02:40,251
- Thanks.
- [Robert] Ah, you're welcome.
56
00:02:40,251 --> 00:02:45,251
No. For reminding me why something
about you always kinda pisses me off.
57
00:02:45,251 --> 00:02:50,293
Well, jealousy manifests itself
in mysterious ways, doesn't it?
58
00:02:50,293 --> 00:02:51,918
Oh, and before I forget,
59
00:02:51,918 --> 00:02:53,501
welcome to TCB.
60
00:02:53,501 --> 00:02:55,834
So glad to have you on board.
61
00:02:55,834 --> 00:02:56,918
Wait, really?
62
00:02:56,918 --> 00:02:59,709
Oh God, no. They just told me to say that.
63
00:02:59,709 --> 00:03:01,043
[laughs]
64
00:03:01,043 --> 00:03:02,668
I don't give a shit.
65
00:03:04,376 --> 00:03:05,668
Fucking Goulet?
66
00:03:05,668 --> 00:03:08,001
What kind of half-assed operation
are you running here?
67
00:03:08,001 --> 00:03:10,251
Oh we're half-assed now?
That's an improvement.
68
00:03:10,251 --> 00:03:11,751
Love the strippers, by the way.
69
00:03:11,751 --> 00:03:14,001
They're not strippers. Fuck.
70
00:03:14,001 --> 00:03:16,793
Right. Sorry. "Med students."
71
00:03:16,793 --> 00:03:19,043
[ominous music playing]
72
00:03:23,043 --> 00:03:24,793
{\an8}[feedback squeals]
73
00:03:24,793 --> 00:03:26,584
[The Commander] The Ia Drang Valley.
74
00:03:26,584 --> 00:03:31,543
{\an8}Last week, several GIs were wounded there
in an unusual friendly fire incident.
75
00:03:31,543 --> 00:03:33,043
{\an8}Highly unusual.
76
00:03:33,043 --> 00:03:35,584
{\an8}Oh, what did I tell you
about interrupting my briefings?
77
00:03:35,584 --> 00:03:36,543
{\an8}Uh...
78
00:03:36,543 --> 00:03:37,501
{\an8}Ah.
79
00:03:37,501 --> 00:03:39,293
{\an8}Don't. Ever.
80
00:03:39,293 --> 00:03:40,293
{\an8}What else?
81
00:03:40,293 --> 00:03:43,251
{\an8}Unless I don't like
my left testicle very much. Sir.
82
00:03:43,251 --> 00:03:45,626
{\an8}That seems pretty self-explanatory.
83
00:03:45,626 --> 00:03:47,001
{\an8}Also pretty specific.
84
00:03:47,001 --> 00:03:49,418
{\an8}Okay, where was I? Right. Friendly fire.
85
00:03:49,418 --> 00:03:51,834
{\an8}That incident,
along with signal intercepts,
86
00:03:51,834 --> 00:03:55,834
{\an8}leads us to believe the weapon
you two saw at Altamont may be here now.
87
00:03:55,834 --> 00:03:57,793
{\an8}What exactly are we dealing with here?
88
00:03:57,793 --> 00:04:00,376
{\an8}A sonic weapon that turns people
89
00:04:00,376 --> 00:04:02,084
{\an8}- primal.
- Primal?
90
00:04:02,084 --> 00:04:03,626
{\an8}Well, if you're susceptible, yes.
91
00:04:03,626 --> 00:04:06,168
{\an8}But the good news is,
it doesn't work on everybody.
92
00:04:06,168 --> 00:04:08,001
{\an8}It's 50% effective.
93
00:04:08,001 --> 00:04:09,793
{\an8}Works on only about half the people,
94
00:04:09,793 --> 00:04:11,209
{\an8}give or take.
95
00:04:11,209 --> 00:04:12,168
{\an8}Thus the math.
96
00:04:12,168 --> 00:04:14,543
{\an8}You seem to know
an awful lot about this thing.
97
00:04:14,543 --> 00:04:18,126
{\an8}Well, we experimented
with this technology years ago.
98
00:04:18,126 --> 00:04:20,918
{\an8}Manipulating sound waves
to bypass the conscious mind
99
00:04:20,918 --> 00:04:22,834
{\an8}and control the subconscious mind.
100
00:04:22,834 --> 00:04:25,043
{\an8}Wait, are you talking about mind control?
101
00:04:25,043 --> 00:04:27,293
{\an8}Yeah, great fucking idea.
102
00:04:27,293 --> 00:04:28,668
{\an8}That's what I said!
103
00:04:29,251 --> 00:04:31,959
{\an8}Uh, but we had some problems,
had to shut the program down.
104
00:04:31,959 --> 00:04:34,793
{\an8}And now someone stole your little toy
and turned it into a weapon?
105
00:04:34,793 --> 00:04:37,209
{\an8}Exactly. And you two
are going to get it back.
106
00:04:38,001 --> 00:04:41,001
{\an8}You'll take a boat upriver and meet
a TCB contact who will take you in.
107
00:04:41,001 --> 00:04:41,918
{\an8}Who's the contact?
108
00:04:41,918 --> 00:04:44,543
{\an8}It's sort of a... surprise.
109
00:04:44,543 --> 00:04:49,084
{\an8}Doyle, who clearly doesn't like having
a left ball, by the way, is correct.
110
00:04:49,084 --> 00:04:50,543
{\an8}You'll find out when you get there.
111
00:04:50,543 --> 00:04:53,251
{\an8}Well, just so long
as I'm back in time for the Jaycees.
112
00:04:53,251 --> 00:04:54,668
{\an8}[CeCe] What the hell's a Jaycee?
113
00:04:54,668 --> 00:04:58,293
{\an8}Junior Chamber of Commerce. The Jaycees.
114
00:04:58,293 --> 00:05:00,834
{\an8}They're giving me
their Man of the Year award for,
115
00:05:00,834 --> 00:05:03,126
{\an8}well, you know, obvious reasons.
116
00:05:03,126 --> 00:05:04,709
{\an8}We'll do our best to get you there.
117
00:05:04,709 --> 00:05:08,251
{\an8}Good, because not getting there
is not an option, ace.
118
00:05:08,251 --> 00:05:10,126
That is weird. [laughs]
119
00:05:10,126 --> 00:05:13,168
That sounded a lot like
you telling me what to do.
120
00:05:13,168 --> 00:05:14,751
Glad we're on the same page then.
121
00:05:14,751 --> 00:05:15,668
[chuckles]
122
00:05:15,668 --> 00:05:17,001
Let's be clear.
123
00:05:17,001 --> 00:05:18,834
I give the orders around here.
124
00:05:18,834 --> 00:05:20,584
You work for me, King.
125
00:05:20,584 --> 00:05:23,376
Oh, I think you're confusing me
with that guy over there
126
00:05:23,376 --> 00:05:25,209
whose balls you like to talk about.
127
00:05:25,834 --> 00:05:28,168
The ball thing
did fly off the rails a little bit.
128
00:05:28,168 --> 00:05:30,251
[mellow guitar music playing]
129
00:05:32,084 --> 00:05:33,168
[Scatter gibbering]
130
00:05:34,043 --> 00:05:35,251
[Bobby Ray] Hell yeah!
131
00:05:35,251 --> 00:05:36,918
[Bobby Ray laughs]
132
00:05:36,918 --> 00:05:41,584
Jesus! Hey, ever heard of this new thing
called not trying to fucking kill us?
133
00:05:41,584 --> 00:05:42,501
Relax.
134
00:05:42,501 --> 00:05:45,584
Let Bobby Ray have his fun.
He's not gonna get anybody killed.
135
00:05:45,584 --> 00:05:48,751
Oh that's right. We'll already be dead,
thanks to that shit show.
136
00:05:48,751 --> 00:05:49,959
[snarling]
137
00:05:49,959 --> 00:05:52,293
- [phone ringing]
- Uh, better half is calling.
138
00:05:54,834 --> 00:05:56,126
[clears throat]
139
00:05:56,126 --> 00:05:57,918
Hey there, honey. What you up to?
140
00:05:57,918 --> 00:05:59,043
Not much.
141
00:05:59,043 --> 00:06:01,334
Just cooking a little dinner for one.
142
00:06:01,334 --> 00:06:04,168
Yeah, sorry.
I know I've been gone a lot lately.
143
00:06:04,793 --> 00:06:06,751
Promise to find time for just you and me.
144
00:06:06,751 --> 00:06:08,543
I'm going to hold you to that.
145
00:06:08,543 --> 00:06:09,459
Please do.
146
00:06:10,293 --> 00:06:11,709
[screeches]
147
00:06:11,709 --> 00:06:12,918
[lows]
148
00:06:12,918 --> 00:06:14,418
Goddamn it, Scatter!
149
00:06:14,418 --> 00:06:16,459
Put that poor thing out of its misery.
150
00:06:18,501 --> 00:06:20,668
- Just try to have a good time.
- Will do, honey.
151
00:06:20,668 --> 00:06:22,043
[sighs]
152
00:06:22,043 --> 00:06:23,918
Not off to a strong start though.
153
00:06:23,918 --> 00:06:25,126
[The Commander] Heads up.
154
00:06:25,126 --> 00:06:26,418
[horn blares]
155
00:06:27,918 --> 00:06:29,001
[sighs]
156
00:06:29,001 --> 00:06:30,251
Thank you for that.
157
00:06:30,251 --> 00:06:31,751
Ah, let's be honest, Doyle.
158
00:06:31,751 --> 00:06:33,793
Given your job
and proximity to yours truly,
159
00:06:33,793 --> 00:06:37,251
the chances of you dying a horrible death
are pretty much through the roof.
160
00:06:37,251 --> 00:06:39,168
But not today, buddy. Not on the agenda.
161
00:06:39,168 --> 00:06:41,709
Okay, um, speaking of my job,
162
00:06:41,709 --> 00:06:44,293
have you perhaps given
any more thought to what I--
163
00:06:44,293 --> 00:06:46,793
- We've been over this, Doyle.
- Indeed, sir. But I--
164
00:06:46,793 --> 00:06:48,626
I know you want to be a field agent,
165
00:06:48,626 --> 00:06:51,709
but I need your clinically obsessive
organizational skills
166
00:06:51,709 --> 00:06:52,793
right where they are.
167
00:06:52,793 --> 00:06:56,501
Thank you, sir,
but being an agent is a dream of mine.
168
00:06:56,501 --> 00:06:57,418
[laughs]
169
00:06:57,418 --> 00:06:59,251
Then keep dreaming. Have fun with that.
170
00:06:59,251 --> 00:07:00,459
Because in real life,
171
00:07:00,459 --> 00:07:04,418
you're not what any rational human being
would call field agent material.
172
00:07:04,418 --> 00:07:06,126
- I'm sorry, buddy.
- Sir, if I may--
173
00:07:06,126 --> 00:07:08,793
And not just because you have
the muscle mass of a small child.
174
00:07:08,793 --> 00:07:11,459
It's because you lack awareness, Doyle.
175
00:07:11,459 --> 00:07:13,709
A field agent has to be
ready for anything.
176
00:07:13,709 --> 00:07:16,459
If a flying saucer lands
and a space dragon charges out
177
00:07:16,459 --> 00:07:18,709
to beat you to death
with a fucking strap-on,
178
00:07:18,709 --> 00:07:21,251
you have to be the guy
who saw that coming.
179
00:07:23,126 --> 00:07:25,626
Honestly, sir?
I think I might surprise you.
180
00:07:26,834 --> 00:07:28,209
- [horn blares]
- [grunts]
181
00:07:29,376 --> 00:07:30,251
Hmm.
182
00:07:30,251 --> 00:07:32,043
Then again, you might not.
183
00:07:34,251 --> 00:07:37,043
Any idea who this contact is
we're meeting?
184
00:07:37,043 --> 00:07:39,501
Nope. Just hope to hell
they know what they're doing.
185
00:07:39,501 --> 00:07:40,793
It'll be fine.
186
00:07:40,793 --> 00:07:41,709
Oh, you think so?
187
00:07:41,709 --> 00:07:44,834
Because you see this green shit
all around us? It's a fucking death trap.
188
00:07:44,834 --> 00:07:49,001
Take it easy, CeCe with an E.
It's just the jungle. Been around forever.
189
00:07:49,001 --> 00:07:50,376
Mm, so has typhus,
190
00:07:50,376 --> 00:07:53,751
which I bet, like,
half the mosquitoes here have, by the way.
191
00:07:53,751 --> 00:07:57,501
Hey, you do realize there's
a decent chance that's motor oil, right?
192
00:07:57,501 --> 00:07:58,751
[laughs]
193
00:07:58,751 --> 00:08:01,709
Well, he can have it,
because this baby's purring like a kitten.
194
00:08:01,709 --> 00:08:04,584
Hell, if I'd known the Army
was handing out hot shit like this,
195
00:08:04,584 --> 00:08:06,293
I probably wouldn't have dodged the draft.
196
00:08:06,293 --> 00:08:07,459
Excuse me?
197
00:08:07,459 --> 00:08:09,376
[Bobby Ray]
Was that a hell of a cannonball?
198
00:08:09,376 --> 00:08:10,709
[Elvis] You dodged the draft?
199
00:08:10,709 --> 00:08:12,543
Well, now, look here.
200
00:08:12,543 --> 00:08:16,293
I had three cousins who got drafted,
and only two and a half of them came back.
201
00:08:16,293 --> 00:08:17,626
Sorry to hear that.
202
00:08:17,626 --> 00:08:21,209
Look, they didn't really want me anyway
after I checked the box for gonorrhea.
203
00:08:21,209 --> 00:08:22,793
You faked having gonorrhea?
204
00:08:22,793 --> 00:08:26,543
No. I paid hookers to have sex with me
until I got gonorrhea.
205
00:08:27,043 --> 00:08:28,543
Actually took longer than you'd think.
206
00:08:28,543 --> 00:08:29,876
I'm disappointed in you, buddy.
207
00:08:29,876 --> 00:08:31,501
[CeCe] Come on. Can you blame the guy?
208
00:08:31,501 --> 00:08:33,126
This war is a horrible idea.
209
00:08:33,126 --> 00:08:36,834
Since when's trying to spread freedom
around the world a horrible idea?
210
00:08:36,834 --> 00:08:39,584
Uh, since the war stopped
being about that years ago.
211
00:08:39,584 --> 00:08:41,876
Now it's just shitty politicians shipping,
212
00:08:41,876 --> 00:08:44,251
if cannonball guy back there
is any indication,
213
00:08:44,251 --> 00:08:46,709
pretty hot guys
off to a fucking meat grinder.
214
00:08:46,709 --> 00:08:48,918
Well, maybe you should
jump on the next plane home
215
00:08:48,918 --> 00:08:53,084
and get a fucking job
getting high on burning American flags.
216
00:08:53,084 --> 00:08:54,293
[gibbering]
217
00:08:54,293 --> 00:08:56,834
[Elvis] No, goddamn it,
that's not a real job.
218
00:08:57,793 --> 00:08:59,209
[The Commander]
Tell me what you see.
219
00:08:59,709 --> 00:09:01,709
[Doyle, laughs] Well, at first glance,
220
00:09:01,709 --> 00:09:03,876
alarmingly little
in the low-carb department.
221
00:09:03,876 --> 00:09:06,834
Not the menu, you dumbass.
Awareness. Remember?
222
00:09:06,834 --> 00:09:08,543
What do you see around you?
223
00:09:08,543 --> 00:09:10,459
Oh yeah. Right.
224
00:09:11,251 --> 00:09:13,418
{\an8}Well, we've got
some Army guys drinking at the--
225
00:09:13,418 --> 00:09:16,043
{\an8}- [The Commander] Those are Marines.
- Hard to tell the difference.
226
00:09:16,043 --> 00:09:17,918
{\an8}- Better not say that to them.
- Got it.
227
00:09:18,501 --> 00:09:19,459
Give me that, moron.
228
00:09:20,209 --> 00:09:21,834
Ah. No notes. Makes sense.
229
00:09:21,834 --> 00:09:25,251
Now, one of those Marines
isn't just a Marine.
230
00:09:25,251 --> 00:09:26,209
Right.
231
00:09:27,126 --> 00:09:28,126
Wait, what now?
232
00:09:28,126 --> 00:09:30,084
One of them is our secret contact.
233
00:09:30,084 --> 00:09:31,626
Nice! Which one?
234
00:09:31,626 --> 00:09:33,959
Hey, you're the one
that wants to be an agent.
235
00:09:33,959 --> 00:09:35,001
You tell me.
236
00:09:35,668 --> 00:09:38,084
- [Doyle] The big one with the mustache?
- [The Commander] Bingo.
237
00:09:38,084 --> 00:09:39,876
Holy shit, I did it!
238
00:09:40,543 --> 00:09:41,376
Wait.
239
00:09:41,876 --> 00:09:43,543
Why am I breathing so hard
all of a sudden?
240
00:09:44,209 --> 00:09:46,418
- Is that normal?
- Uh, not remotely.
241
00:09:46,418 --> 00:09:48,334
You should probably
see somebody about that.
242
00:09:51,334 --> 00:09:53,126
[Bobby Ray] Well, holy shit.
243
00:09:53,126 --> 00:09:56,168
Looks like the man upstairs finally
changed his mind about old Bobby Ray.
244
00:09:56,168 --> 00:09:59,043
Oh, you gotta be fucking kidding me.
245
00:09:59,043 --> 00:10:01,584
- What?
- Our TCB contact.
246
00:10:01,584 --> 00:10:02,543
[Elvis] Who, her?
247
00:10:02,543 --> 00:10:05,668
Yeah, her. This is why the Commander
didn't tell us who our contact was.
248
00:10:05,668 --> 00:10:07,126
- There a problem?
- Several.
249
00:10:07,126 --> 00:10:09,251
Starting with the fact that she's my mom.
250
00:10:09,251 --> 00:10:10,418
[chuckles]
251
00:10:10,418 --> 00:10:12,376
Wait, seriously?
252
00:10:12,376 --> 00:10:14,334
Yeah, the rest kind of flows from there.
253
00:10:14,334 --> 00:10:16,626
One big river of Freudian shit.
254
00:10:19,334 --> 00:10:20,709
Oh CeCe.
255
00:10:20,709 --> 00:10:21,793
Mom.
256
00:10:21,793 --> 00:10:23,251
You look great.
257
00:10:23,251 --> 00:10:25,834
Huh. Rare dose of positive reinforcement.
258
00:10:25,834 --> 00:10:27,876
The bangs
are an interesting choice, though.
259
00:10:27,876 --> 00:10:29,418
And we're back.
260
00:10:29,418 --> 00:10:31,168
How long's it been? A year?
261
00:10:31,168 --> 00:10:32,209
Try four.
262
00:10:32,209 --> 00:10:34,709
Well, now you're just being ridiculous.
263
00:10:34,709 --> 00:10:35,626
[laughs]
264
00:10:35,626 --> 00:10:40,126
So, are you going to introduce me
to Mr. Tall, Dark, and Insanely Sexy?
265
00:10:40,126 --> 00:10:41,793
[gagging] Oh God.
266
00:10:41,793 --> 00:10:43,251
- You okay?
- Yeah. Yeah.
267
00:10:43,251 --> 00:10:45,251
Just throwing up in my mouth a bunch.
268
00:10:45,251 --> 00:10:47,293
Hi, I'm Elvis.
269
00:10:47,293 --> 00:10:48,918
Agent Roxanne Ryder.
270
00:10:48,918 --> 00:10:52,334
Otherwise known as CeCe's mom.
I'll be taking you guys in country.
271
00:10:52,334 --> 00:10:53,751
Well, CeCe's mom,
272
00:10:53,751 --> 00:10:57,001
I would have guessed younger sister,
but I'll take your word for it.
273
00:10:57,001 --> 00:11:00,876
Oh, so piercing blue eyes and charming?
274
00:11:00,876 --> 00:11:03,209
Well, that's a cocktail
I'd chug in the shower.
275
00:11:03,209 --> 00:11:05,251
Can you not, for once?
276
00:11:05,251 --> 00:11:08,876
You know, I actually put my name in
to be your partner, instead of CeCe.
277
00:11:08,876 --> 00:11:09,959
- I'm flattered.
- Mm-hmm.
278
00:11:09,959 --> 00:11:12,959
Yeah. Because that's what moms do
when they're overly competitive
279
00:11:12,959 --> 00:11:15,293
- with the daughter they never wanted.
- Ignore her.
280
00:11:15,293 --> 00:11:18,001
And there's my childhood
in a two-word nutshell.
281
00:11:19,001 --> 00:11:20,501
[The Commander] Now, listen carefully.
282
00:11:22,043 --> 00:11:24,668
I want you to quietly
slip this to our contact.
283
00:11:25,334 --> 00:11:27,834
This is your chance
to show me some tradecraft.
284
00:11:27,834 --> 00:11:29,376
I will not let you down, sir.
285
00:11:29,376 --> 00:11:30,918
Well, first time for everything.
286
00:11:30,918 --> 00:11:31,876
I'm on it.
287
00:11:37,334 --> 00:11:38,876
Something I can help you with?
288
00:11:40,334 --> 00:11:41,293
What the hell?
289
00:11:41,959 --> 00:11:43,543
You having a seizure or something?
290
00:11:43,543 --> 00:11:45,376
Just read the note.
291
00:11:47,209 --> 00:11:52,251
"Dear asshole, is it true ' semper fi'
means 'douchebag' in Latin?"
292
00:11:52,251 --> 00:11:53,251
Huh.
293
00:11:53,834 --> 00:11:54,668
Wait, what?
294
00:11:56,584 --> 00:11:57,459
[man grunts]
295
00:12:00,001 --> 00:12:01,668
[grunting and shouting]
296
00:12:01,668 --> 00:12:02,876
[bottle shatters]
297
00:12:10,001 --> 00:12:11,626
[police siren wailing]
298
00:12:13,459 --> 00:12:14,751
[screams]
299
00:12:14,751 --> 00:12:17,168
Dynamite work, Doyle.
On your feet, soldier.
300
00:12:17,668 --> 00:12:19,293
[Doyle whimpers]
301
00:12:24,168 --> 00:12:27,668
So I take it TCB's
sort of the family business?
302
00:12:27,668 --> 00:12:29,459
Oh, we are definitely not a family.
303
00:12:29,459 --> 00:12:31,043
Well, not in the traditional way.
304
00:12:31,043 --> 00:12:32,501
Or any healthy way.
305
00:12:32,501 --> 00:12:37,418
But yes, I joined TCB right out of college
and had CeCe a few years later.
306
00:12:37,418 --> 00:12:40,293
[CeCe] But only after
rampant anonymous sex.
307
00:12:40,293 --> 00:12:42,293
[Roxanne] It wasn't anonymous.
308
00:12:42,293 --> 00:12:44,543
Well, it is when you have
no idea who my dad is.
309
00:12:44,543 --> 00:12:47,168
Well, that doesn't mean
he didn't have a name, pookie bear.
310
00:12:47,168 --> 00:12:48,584
[chuckles]
311
00:12:48,584 --> 00:12:49,834
"Pookie bear"?
312
00:12:49,834 --> 00:12:52,043
Little nickname I called her
when she was growing up.
313
00:12:52,043 --> 00:12:53,084
No, no. No, you didn't.
314
00:12:53,084 --> 00:12:56,251
You never called me any cute nicknames.
Stop pretending to be normal.
315
00:12:56,251 --> 00:12:58,834
- You were too young to remember.
- Oh, you know what? You're right.
316
00:12:58,834 --> 00:13:02,418
I do remember being called
a "pull-out method cautionary tale."
317
00:13:02,418 --> 00:13:07,834
Hey, I apologized for that
when we had dinner with what's-his-face.
318
00:13:07,834 --> 00:13:09,751
- Craig.
- Who's Craig?
319
00:13:09,751 --> 00:13:12,209
An old boyfriend.
I brought him to dinner one time.
320
00:13:12,209 --> 00:13:15,168
Oh, and I remember
Mom brought her always-fun date,
321
00:13:15,168 --> 00:13:16,751
raging alcoholism.
322
00:13:16,751 --> 00:13:18,918
- Shh. Quiet.
- You quiet.
323
00:13:19,543 --> 00:13:22,209
[Roxanne] The broadcast location's
on the other side of that clearing.
324
00:13:22,209 --> 00:13:24,043
Oh great. Thank you. You can go now.
325
00:13:24,043 --> 00:13:26,959
Look, I get it. You don't want me around.
326
00:13:26,959 --> 00:13:29,084
[mockingly] "I was a crappy mom."
327
00:13:29,084 --> 00:13:31,001
[in normal voice]
You want me to slit my wrists?
328
00:13:31,001 --> 00:13:31,918
No.
329
00:13:32,584 --> 00:13:34,918
But a tiny version of that
might be nice though.
330
00:13:38,209 --> 00:13:40,168
- Everybody stay low.
- Take your time.
331
00:13:40,168 --> 00:13:42,543
Just enjoying the view.
332
00:13:43,043 --> 00:13:43,959
Will you stop it?
333
00:13:43,959 --> 00:13:46,501
What? The man's got
an ass like a French teenager.
334
00:13:46,501 --> 00:13:50,043
Well, I hate to put a crimp
in your plans, ma'am, but I'm married.
335
00:13:50,043 --> 00:13:54,334
Yeah, okay. Trust me,
to her, that doesn't mean... Shit.
336
00:13:55,709 --> 00:13:56,584
Uh...
337
00:13:57,168 --> 00:13:59,001
You may want to hit the deck there,
pookie bear.
338
00:13:59,001 --> 00:14:01,084
[gunfire and artillery explosions]
339
00:14:03,418 --> 00:14:06,209
- I'm not sure I'm cut out for this.
- Are you kidding me?
340
00:14:06,209 --> 00:14:08,001
- You're doing great.
- Seriously?
341
00:14:08,001 --> 00:14:10,459
God, no! What are you, a fucking moron?
342
00:14:10,459 --> 00:14:11,376
Sorry.
343
00:14:11,376 --> 00:14:12,626
Hey, look at me.
344
00:14:12,626 --> 00:14:15,126
First rule of being a field agent?
Never apologize.
345
00:14:15,126 --> 00:14:16,043
Right.
346
00:14:16,043 --> 00:14:18,876
Second rule... See that guy
in the white suit across the street?
347
00:14:21,668 --> 00:14:23,793
Yeah, him.
I'm going to need you to kill him.
348
00:14:23,793 --> 00:14:25,084
Like, right now.
349
00:14:25,084 --> 00:14:26,584
What? Now?
350
00:14:26,584 --> 00:14:28,543
Well, maybe put some clothes on first.
351
00:14:28,543 --> 00:14:29,459
[laughs]
352
00:14:29,459 --> 00:14:31,251
I wouldn't, but, you know,
most people would.
353
00:14:31,834 --> 00:14:33,251
[gunfire]
354
00:14:33,834 --> 00:14:35,418
[bombs whistle and explode]
355
00:14:37,459 --> 00:14:40,584
Please tell me Bobby Ray hears this and
is calling in some fucking air support.
356
00:14:41,876 --> 00:14:43,084
- Mm.
- Mm.
357
00:14:43,084 --> 00:14:44,418
- [distant gunfire]
- Mm!
358
00:14:44,418 --> 00:14:47,084
Know what?
I can barely even taste the napalm.
359
00:14:47,084 --> 00:14:48,709
[gunfire continuous]
360
00:14:51,959 --> 00:14:53,626
[grunting and panting]
361
00:14:53,626 --> 00:14:54,709
[sighs]
362
00:14:55,501 --> 00:14:59,709
Okay, whoever said it sucks here
may have a point.
363
00:15:03,293 --> 00:15:05,001
[ominous music playing]
364
00:15:08,626 --> 00:15:10,668
Who in the hell are those guys?
365
00:15:10,668 --> 00:15:14,418
[Roxanne] Don't know, but they are
definitely not from around here.
366
00:15:15,459 --> 00:15:17,834
You two sit tight. Be right back.
367
00:15:17,834 --> 00:15:20,084
- Cover me.
- On it.
368
00:15:20,084 --> 00:15:22,001
[suspenseful music playing]
369
00:15:25,376 --> 00:15:26,334
[gunshot]
370
00:15:27,751 --> 00:15:31,001
So, whatever happened
to that boyfriend from dinner? Craig?
371
00:15:31,001 --> 00:15:32,918
You had sex with him in the bathroom.
372
00:15:32,918 --> 00:15:34,209
- [Elvis grunts]
- [punch lands]
373
00:15:53,751 --> 00:15:57,751
Now that's what we in the business
like to call "done and done."
374
00:15:57,751 --> 00:15:58,959
Which business?
375
00:15:58,959 --> 00:16:01,168
It's a fucking cool line.
376
00:16:01,168 --> 00:16:02,209
Don't overthink it.
377
00:16:02,793 --> 00:16:04,751
Well, this calls for a celebration.
378
00:16:04,751 --> 00:16:06,209
Who's up for a few drinks?
379
00:16:06,209 --> 00:16:08,543
And maybe a few bad decisions.
380
00:16:08,543 --> 00:16:11,918
Jesus, Mom, you're getting
desperation all over his shirt.
381
00:16:13,043 --> 00:16:14,376
- [powering up]
- What the--
382
00:16:14,376 --> 00:16:15,709
Cover your ears!
383
00:16:15,709 --> 00:16:17,334
[high-pitch drone]
384
00:16:21,043 --> 00:16:21,959
[groaning]
385
00:16:23,751 --> 00:16:25,834
[shrieks]
386
00:16:29,293 --> 00:16:30,626
[gasps]
387
00:16:30,626 --> 00:16:32,584
Jesus Christ. You see that?
388
00:16:32,584 --> 00:16:33,834
Turns 'em primal.
389
00:16:34,709 --> 00:16:35,918
We need to go after her.
390
00:16:36,418 --> 00:16:37,709
Eh, do we though?
391
00:16:39,168 --> 00:16:40,626
Oh damn it.
392
00:16:42,251 --> 00:16:44,043
Vietcong tunnel network.
393
00:16:44,709 --> 00:16:45,709
Stay close.
394
00:16:46,709 --> 00:16:48,251
[buzzing]
395
00:16:50,793 --> 00:16:54,084
[Roxanne grunting and panting]
396
00:16:54,751 --> 00:16:55,834
[roars]
397
00:16:55,834 --> 00:16:57,793
Yup. See? Told you she sucks.
398
00:16:57,793 --> 00:16:59,584
She's been infected by that device.
399
00:16:59,584 --> 00:17:02,751
Yeah, but she still sucks though,
is the takeaway here.
400
00:17:03,293 --> 00:17:04,543
[yells]
401
00:17:06,876 --> 00:17:09,168
Okay, Captain Nice Guy. I got this.
402
00:17:15,126 --> 00:17:16,418
- [rumbling]
- [dirt sifting]
403
00:17:16,418 --> 00:17:17,334
What...
404
00:17:18,001 --> 00:17:19,459
What the hell happened?
405
00:17:20,459 --> 00:17:21,959
- [click]
- [rapid beeping]
406
00:17:23,751 --> 00:17:25,918
Don't move.
407
00:17:25,918 --> 00:17:27,751
- He's right.
- [explosive rumbles]
408
00:17:28,501 --> 00:17:30,543
At least not till we're gone. Shall we?
409
00:17:30,543 --> 00:17:31,668
Hang on, what?
410
00:17:31,668 --> 00:17:35,501
Wait, we're not leaving your mother here.
She's standing on a land mine.
411
00:17:35,501 --> 00:17:37,209
Listen to your sexy friend on this.
412
00:17:37,209 --> 00:17:38,959
Oh, you know,
the mission comes first, Mom.
413
00:17:38,959 --> 00:17:40,501
- You taught me that.
- I did?
414
00:17:40,501 --> 00:17:43,251
Of course not! You didn't teach me shit.
415
00:17:43,251 --> 00:17:46,251
Just how to chain-smoke Pall Malls
and make vodka in the toilet.
416
00:17:46,251 --> 00:17:47,209
Jesus.
417
00:17:47,209 --> 00:17:49,668
But you can't leave me here, CeCe.
418
00:17:49,668 --> 00:17:52,251
Yeah? Give me one good reason why.
419
00:17:52,251 --> 00:17:54,668
Because then you'll never know
who your father is.
420
00:17:54,668 --> 00:17:56,334
- [explosion rumbles]
- Wait, you know?
421
00:17:56,334 --> 00:17:57,251
Yeah.
422
00:17:57,251 --> 00:17:59,334
Well, why the fuck didn't you tell me?
423
00:17:59,334 --> 00:18:01,418
I don't know, what do you want me to say?
424
00:18:01,918 --> 00:18:03,793
I don't know anything
about being a good mom?
425
00:18:03,793 --> 00:18:05,543
No shit. Look at me.
426
00:18:05,543 --> 00:18:08,001
I try to beat my own daughter
at everything she does
427
00:18:08,001 --> 00:18:10,001
for, like, basically no reason.
428
00:18:10,001 --> 00:18:12,126
Could it be it's because
I'm a walking reminder
429
00:18:12,126 --> 00:18:14,001
of your fading beauty
and inevitable death?
430
00:18:15,168 --> 00:18:17,293
I'm already standing
on a land mine, all right?
431
00:18:17,293 --> 00:18:19,751
So I don't really need a slap in the face
while I'm at it.
432
00:18:21,543 --> 00:18:22,418
[groans softly]
433
00:18:23,959 --> 00:18:25,126
[CeCe] Careful.
434
00:18:27,418 --> 00:18:28,459
[sighs]
435
00:18:28,959 --> 00:18:30,084
Thanks for that.
436
00:18:30,084 --> 00:18:32,584
Ew. Don't thank me.
Just tell me who my dad is.
437
00:18:32,584 --> 00:18:35,959
Oh, that. Oh yeah. No, I have no idea.
438
00:18:35,959 --> 00:18:38,376
You fucking lied to me.
439
00:18:38,376 --> 00:18:41,209
Pretty much been lying to you
since you were in diapers. So...
440
00:18:41,751 --> 00:18:42,584
[laughs]
441
00:18:42,584 --> 00:18:44,334
Feels kind of weird to stop now.
442
00:18:44,918 --> 00:18:47,043
- [explosion]
- [dirt sifts]
443
00:18:52,751 --> 00:18:54,459
[birds squawking]
444
00:18:56,751 --> 00:18:58,251
Sir, I don't think I can do this.
445
00:18:58,251 --> 00:19:00,668
That man over there
is a spy in the US Embassy.
446
00:19:00,668 --> 00:19:02,834
- And now it's your job to take him out.
- How?
447
00:19:02,834 --> 00:19:04,543
With the fucking weapon I gave you.
448
00:19:04,543 --> 00:19:05,543
Weapon?
449
00:19:06,209 --> 00:19:08,209
This? This is a salad fork.
450
00:19:08,209 --> 00:19:09,709
A really, really shitty one!
451
00:19:09,709 --> 00:19:10,751
Look at me. Look at me.
452
00:19:10,751 --> 00:19:15,043
I want you to think back to all the people
in your life who called you worthless.
453
00:19:15,043 --> 00:19:17,501
- A pathetic loser.
- Not sure this is helping.
454
00:19:17,501 --> 00:19:21,334
A sexless, one-nut nerd
destined for rock-fucking-bottom.
455
00:19:21,334 --> 00:19:24,751
Then you harness that anger,
and you show them how wrong they were.
456
00:19:25,459 --> 00:19:27,293
[inhales and exhales heavily]
457
00:19:27,876 --> 00:19:29,668
[high-pitched shriek]
458
00:19:32,501 --> 00:19:33,834
[coughs and groans]
459
00:19:33,834 --> 00:19:34,918
[Doyle] Safe word.
460
00:19:35,876 --> 00:19:37,209
[Doyle groaning]
461
00:19:37,209 --> 00:19:39,001
[ominous music playing]
462
00:19:42,543 --> 00:19:43,459
E!
463
00:19:43,459 --> 00:19:45,043
Jesus, boss. You okay?
464
00:19:45,043 --> 00:19:46,626
Officially been better, buddy.
465
00:19:47,834 --> 00:19:49,584
♪ A hunk of burning love ♪
466
00:19:50,168 --> 00:19:52,959
♪ I'm just a hunk
A hunk of burning love ♪
467
00:19:53,501 --> 00:19:56,001
♪ I'm just a hunk
A hunk of burning love ♪
468
00:19:56,001 --> 00:19:57,209
♪ Ah ♪
469
00:19:57,209 --> 00:19:59,209
♪ A hunk, a hunk of burning love ♪
470
00:19:59,209 --> 00:20:00,584
♪ Ah ♪
471
00:20:00,584 --> 00:20:03,001
♪ Just a hunk
A hunk of burning love ♪
472
00:20:03,001 --> 00:20:05,168
[The Commander]
Oh, it's the scoop of the century.
473
00:20:05,168 --> 00:20:07,543
The report's got
a stupid long name though.
474
00:20:07,543 --> 00:20:10,751
Just call it, uh,
the Pentagon Papers. Yeah.
475
00:20:10,751 --> 00:20:13,168
That's got a certain flair. I like that.
476
00:20:13,168 --> 00:20:15,543
- [Elvis] Love you, boys. Stay safe.
- [audience cheering]
477
00:20:15,543 --> 00:20:17,376
[fanfare playing]
478
00:20:17,376 --> 00:20:18,668
[cheering]
479
00:20:22,168 --> 00:20:23,501
[powering up]
480
00:20:23,501 --> 00:20:25,084
[high-pitched drone]
481
00:20:29,418 --> 00:20:30,543
[screams]
482
00:20:34,876 --> 00:20:35,959
[electricity crackles]
483
00:20:38,334 --> 00:20:39,793
[snarling and roaring]
484
00:20:41,751 --> 00:20:43,376
[hissing]
485
00:20:44,001 --> 00:20:46,126
Oh God, you and your fucking strip show.
486
00:20:49,043 --> 00:20:52,501
Sonic weapon's backstage.
Somebody take it out, now!
487
00:20:53,126 --> 00:20:54,209
[gibbering]
488
00:20:54,209 --> 00:20:55,876
[hoarse gasping]
489
00:20:56,376 --> 00:21:00,126
♪ It's coming closer
The flames are now licking my body ♪
490
00:21:00,126 --> 00:21:01,709
[Scatter cackles]
491
00:21:02,918 --> 00:21:06,834
♪ Won't you help me
Feel like I'm slipping away ♪
492
00:21:09,251 --> 00:21:11,209
[women shrieking]
493
00:21:11,209 --> 00:21:13,626
♪ My chest is a-heavin' ♪
494
00:21:16,334 --> 00:21:20,418
♪ Lord, have mercy
Burning the hole where I lay ♪
495
00:21:21,043 --> 00:21:22,126
[both grunt]
496
00:21:23,334 --> 00:21:25,293
♪ Your kisses lift me higher ♪
497
00:21:26,001 --> 00:21:28,584
♪ Like the sweet song of a choir... ♪
498
00:21:28,584 --> 00:21:30,459
You guys, is it just me,
499
00:21:30,459 --> 00:21:33,668
or is it hilarious
my mom's still down there somewhere?
500
00:21:34,459 --> 00:21:36,543
Oh. Okay. Just me. Got it.
501
00:21:39,126 --> 00:21:41,709
{\an8}♪ I'm just a hunk
A hunk of burning love ♪
502
00:21:43,001 --> 00:21:44,168
The hell are you doing here?
503
00:21:44,168 --> 00:21:45,543
Come on, you think I'd miss this
504
00:21:45,543 --> 00:21:48,168
when I'm the one who made sure
you won this stupid little award?
505
00:21:48,168 --> 00:21:50,084
What? What's this?
506
00:21:50,084 --> 00:21:53,376
Oh, I just took the liberty of preparing
a few remarks, little punch-up for you.
507
00:21:53,376 --> 00:21:55,001
Touches on the war here and there.
508
00:21:55,001 --> 00:21:57,126
I told you how I feel about that.
509
00:21:57,126 --> 00:21:59,376
[The Commander] I know you did.
But trust me on this.
510
00:21:59,376 --> 00:22:01,126
Thought we covered this the other day.
511
00:22:01,126 --> 00:22:02,293
Covered what?
512
00:22:02,293 --> 00:22:04,918
That I don't take orders from you.
513
00:22:07,626 --> 00:22:09,626
[applause]
514
00:22:13,251 --> 00:22:14,584
[beeper buzzes]
515
00:22:14,584 --> 00:22:16,459
[ominous music playing]
516
00:22:18,918 --> 00:22:20,793
[Morse code beeping]
517
00:22:29,834 --> 00:22:31,959
[Morse code fades to silence]