1
00:00:06,418 --> 00:00:08,543
["Green, Green Grass of Home"
by Elvis Presley playing]
2
00:00:15,043 --> 00:00:18,043
♪ The old hometown looks the same ♪
3
00:00:18,043 --> 00:00:19,834
[snoring]
4
00:00:19,834 --> 00:00:21,709
♪ As I step down... ♪
5
00:00:21,709 --> 00:00:23,168
Oh, come on.
6
00:00:23,168 --> 00:00:25,876
I am bored out of my fucking mind here.
I know you're holding.
7
00:00:25,876 --> 00:00:27,584
Just give me a little something.
8
00:00:27,584 --> 00:00:30,751
Acid, shrooms, ludes,
dealer's choice, I'm not picky.
9
00:00:31,251 --> 00:00:34,376
That, or I'm gonna lick you like one
of those psychedelic frogs in the Amazon.
10
00:00:34,376 --> 00:00:35,543
Swear to God.
11
00:00:36,126 --> 00:00:38,918
♪ Down the road, I look ♪
12
00:00:38,918 --> 00:00:41,334
♪ And there runs Mary ♪
13
00:00:42,168 --> 00:00:44,001
Ugh. Damn, nothing.
14
00:00:44,001 --> 00:00:45,209
[snoring]
15
00:00:45,209 --> 00:00:46,459
[music playing on headphones]
16
00:00:46,459 --> 00:00:49,459
Have you seriously been
listening to yourself this whole trip?
17
00:00:49,459 --> 00:00:50,668
Don't know if you've noticed,
18
00:00:50,668 --> 00:00:53,543
but not a lot
of entertainment options around here.
19
00:00:54,376 --> 00:00:57,751
You know, Tom Jones does
a killer version of this song.
20
00:00:57,751 --> 00:01:00,459
I don't even know
why you bothered doing it.
21
00:01:00,459 --> 00:01:02,834
Don't you have something else
better to be doing?
22
00:01:02,834 --> 00:01:05,209
I guess I could try
licking Leary's face again.
23
00:01:05,209 --> 00:01:07,459
Tastes like old man balls, by the way.
24
00:01:07,459 --> 00:01:09,501
Thanks for the disturbing visuals.
25
00:01:10,459 --> 00:01:12,459
[psychedelic sitar music playing]
26
00:01:16,584 --> 00:01:17,876
[horse whinnies]
27
00:01:28,418 --> 00:01:30,709
[high-pitched giggling]
28
00:01:30,709 --> 00:01:33,084
[ominous music playing]
29
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{\an8}[feedback squeals]
30
00:01:38,709 --> 00:01:41,293
{\an8}- [psychedelic sitar music playing]
- [voices giggling]
31
00:01:44,543 --> 00:01:45,668
{\an8}Hey, I know you, man.
32
00:01:45,668 --> 00:01:47,376
{\an8}Everybody knows me.
33
00:01:47,376 --> 00:01:49,793
{\an8}That's kind of how being me works, buddy.
34
00:01:49,793 --> 00:01:50,751
{\an8}Now, you mind?
35
00:01:50,751 --> 00:01:52,084
{\an8}No, you don't understand.
36
00:01:52,084 --> 00:01:54,293
{\an8}I know the other you.
37
00:01:54,293 --> 00:01:57,376
{\an8}[whispers]
I worked on you in Germany, man.
38
00:01:57,376 --> 00:01:59,376
{\an8}Pretty sure you're tripping on something.
39
00:01:59,376 --> 00:02:02,209
{\an8}[in normal voice]
Of course I am. It's kind of my job.
40
00:02:02,209 --> 00:02:05,459
{\an8}I basically invented the whole
hallucinogenic business model.
41
00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:08,418
{\an8}I'm like the Ray Kroc
of getting fucked up.
42
00:02:08,418 --> 00:02:09,959
{\an8}Good luck with that.
43
00:02:09,959 --> 00:02:11,793
{\an8}Now, if you'll excuse me.
44
00:02:12,834 --> 00:02:14,751
{\an8}No, I know you.
45
00:02:15,376 --> 00:02:19,293
{\an8}You're Tupelo. You're Project Tupelo, man.
46
00:02:19,293 --> 00:02:20,209
{\an8}[grunts]
47
00:02:20,209 --> 00:02:21,584
{\an8}Tupelo, man.
48
00:02:21,584 --> 00:02:23,626
{\an8}[doctor] No, it's fine.
He won't remember a thing.
49
00:02:23,626 --> 00:02:24,876
{\an8}[Elvis screams]
50
00:02:24,876 --> 00:02:27,418
{\an8}Jesus Christ. What the hell?
51
00:02:27,418 --> 00:02:29,918
{\an8}- Let me guess, flashbacks?
- What?
52
00:02:29,918 --> 00:02:31,668
{\an8}[laughs] Yeah, I know.
53
00:02:31,668 --> 00:02:33,168
{\an8}Those fuckers can be nasty.
54
00:02:34,043 --> 00:02:37,501
{\an8}I tried to weed them out,
but I never got the formula quite right.
55
00:02:37,501 --> 00:02:40,084
{\an8}Here, when you're
someplace safe and comfy,
56
00:02:40,084 --> 00:02:41,251
{\an8}take one of these.
57
00:02:41,251 --> 00:02:43,668
{\an8}Sugar cubes? What am I, a fucking horse?
58
00:02:43,668 --> 00:02:45,459
{\an8}[laughs] Weirdly, yes.
59
00:02:45,459 --> 00:02:47,043
{\an8}Sometimes.
60
00:02:47,043 --> 00:02:49,459
{\an8}Oh, that's a good boy, good boy.
61
00:02:49,459 --> 00:02:51,043
{\an8}Are you out of your goddamn mind?
62
00:02:51,043 --> 00:02:52,501
{\an8}No, no, no, look.
63
00:02:52,501 --> 00:02:54,043
{\an8}Those little magic carpet rides
64
00:02:54,043 --> 00:02:56,459
{\an8}are dosed with my very own
Timothy Leary signature brand,
65
00:02:56,459 --> 00:02:59,293
{\an8}organic, pharmacy-to-table, artisan LSD.
66
00:02:59,293 --> 00:03:00,918
{\an8}It's the same batch I gave the Beatles.
67
00:03:00,918 --> 00:03:04,876
{\an8}You do realize I'm a federal narcotics
officer, sort of, don't you?
68
00:03:04,876 --> 00:03:07,459
{\an8}Oh, that bullshit Nixon photo-op?
69
00:03:07,459 --> 00:03:08,876
{\an8}[laughs] Yeah, okay.
70
00:03:08,876 --> 00:03:10,543
{\an8}It makes a great coffee mug.
71
00:03:10,543 --> 00:03:12,584
{\an8}There's an Elvis/Nixon coffee mug?
72
00:03:12,584 --> 00:03:13,626
{\an8}[chuckles]
73
00:03:13,626 --> 00:03:16,834
{\an8}Wow, you need to get
a handle on your merchandising, Tupelo.
74
00:03:16,834 --> 00:03:18,334
[Elvis screaming]
75
00:03:19,084 --> 00:03:21,168
{\an8}- Yeah.
- What is it? Another flashback?
76
00:03:21,168 --> 00:03:22,293
{\an8}That is so weird.
77
00:03:22,293 --> 00:03:24,084
{\an8}Something must be
triggering those, Tupelo.
78
00:03:24,084 --> 00:03:25,501
{\an8}[screams]
79
00:03:25,501 --> 00:03:27,334
{\an8}I bet it's the word "Tupelo."
80
00:03:27,334 --> 00:03:28,459
{\an8}[screams]
81
00:03:28,459 --> 00:03:30,709
{\an8}For God's sake,
will you stop saying "Tupelo"?
82
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{\an8}[screams]
83
00:03:32,251 --> 00:03:34,001
{\an8}Okay, that one's on you, Tu--
84
00:03:34,001 --> 00:03:35,376
{\an8}[muffled dialogue]
85
00:03:35,376 --> 00:03:38,251
{\an8}Listen, you have secrets deep inside you.
86
00:03:38,751 --> 00:03:42,168
{\an8}Take the LSD and free your mind, brother.
87
00:03:42,168 --> 00:03:46,084
{\an8}Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
88
00:03:46,084 --> 00:03:48,876
{\an8}[flight attendant] Ladies and gentlemen,
please return to your seats.
89
00:03:48,876 --> 00:03:50,709
{\an8}We will be landing in Memphis shortly.
90
00:03:53,084 --> 00:03:54,959
{\an8}Okay, okay, listen up, people.
91
00:03:54,959 --> 00:03:58,126
{\an8}When we get in the terminal,
form a perimeter around my Elvis,
92
00:03:58,126 --> 00:04:00,209
{\an8}and no matter what, y'all keep moving.
93
00:04:00,209 --> 00:04:02,834
{\an8}All right, whatever. As long as we stop
and grab a Goo Goo Cluster.
94
00:04:02,834 --> 00:04:04,376
{\an8}I'm literally starving to death.
95
00:04:04,376 --> 00:04:05,959
{\an8}Stopping's a bad idea.
96
00:04:05,959 --> 00:04:08,334
{\an8}Yeah, that's when they swarm.
97
00:04:08,334 --> 00:04:09,251
{\an8}Swarm?
98
00:04:09,251 --> 00:04:14,876
{\an8}Swear to God, this man is like
Marvin Gaye to white people.
99
00:04:14,876 --> 00:04:17,918
{\an8}I don't think the whole
swarming thing's gonna be a problem.
100
00:04:19,084 --> 00:04:21,043
{\an8}Okay, now that's fucking trippy.
101
00:04:21,043 --> 00:04:23,043
{\an8}Damn, my shit is good. Mwah.
102
00:04:24,334 --> 00:04:27,751
This week's the first-ever
Elvis convention at The Peabody.
103
00:04:27,751 --> 00:04:30,543
I guess that explains
all the extra mes walking around.
104
00:04:31,043 --> 00:04:33,168
Although I'm not sure it explains that.
105
00:04:37,709 --> 00:04:38,668
Welcome home, E.
106
00:04:38,668 --> 00:04:42,168
Got the Caddy waiting outside,
all shined up and ready to roll.
107
00:04:42,168 --> 00:04:46,126
Mm! These Goo Goo Clusters
are fucking amazing.
108
00:04:46,126 --> 00:04:48,001
Best thing to ever
come out of Tennessee.
109
00:04:48,001 --> 00:04:50,126
I think you're forgetting,
I came out of Tennessee.
110
00:04:50,126 --> 00:04:51,459
Mm, actually, I'm not.
111
00:04:52,543 --> 00:04:55,043
["Memphis" by Elvis Presley playing]
112
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♪ Long-distance information
Give me Memphis, Tennessee ♪
113
00:05:00,626 --> 00:05:02,084
[crowd screaming]
114
00:05:05,709 --> 00:05:07,168
Damn, it's good to be me.
115
00:05:11,876 --> 00:05:13,334
Listen up, all of you.
116
00:05:13,334 --> 00:05:16,418
Starting right now,
Graceland is off-limits for the weekend.
117
00:05:16,418 --> 00:05:18,418
I need some alone time with my Priscilla.
118
00:05:18,418 --> 00:05:21,376
Easy, tiger, it's not like
I want to hang out with you either.
119
00:05:21,376 --> 00:05:24,876
Professor and I are gonna
grab some ribs, see some sights.
120
00:05:24,876 --> 00:05:27,543
Oh, you got to see The Peabody ducks.
121
00:05:27,543 --> 00:05:29,418
Yeah, I read about those on the plane.
122
00:05:29,418 --> 00:05:31,168
Ducks in a hotel lobby.
123
00:05:31,168 --> 00:05:33,959
Sounds thrilling, as far as
giant health code violations go.
124
00:05:33,959 --> 00:05:35,459
I don't care what y'all do
125
00:05:35,459 --> 00:05:37,959
as long as
whatever you're doing ain't here.
126
00:05:37,959 --> 00:05:40,418
But yeah, you should
really check out the ducks.
127
00:05:41,751 --> 00:05:44,043
'Scilla, I'm home. Where are my girls?
128
00:05:44,043 --> 00:05:45,626
I'll be right down, baby.
129
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I had Patsy take Lisa for the weekend.
130
00:05:48,043 --> 00:05:50,501
I wanted you all to myself.
131
00:05:50,501 --> 00:05:52,459
I sure like the sound of that.
132
00:05:52,459 --> 00:05:55,084
Make yourself comfy
and put on the blindfold.
133
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[chuckles] I got a surprise for you.
134
00:05:57,918 --> 00:06:01,459
Lord Almighty,
I feel my temperature rising.
135
00:06:03,459 --> 00:06:05,293
[Priscilla] Take off that blindfold.
136
00:06:07,751 --> 00:06:10,001
It is seriously good to be me.
137
00:06:10,501 --> 00:06:12,543
[CeCe] Who the hell is Cowboy Jeb?
138
00:06:12,543 --> 00:06:16,001
[Bertie] Ah, sweet, beloved Cowboy Jeb.
139
00:06:16,001 --> 00:06:19,084
He had the number-one
children's show in Memphis.
140
00:06:19,084 --> 00:06:21,668
Cowboy Jeb's Jungle Gymboree!
141
00:06:22,168 --> 00:06:23,418
Everybody loved him.
142
00:06:24,168 --> 00:06:25,793
Then his show got canceled.
143
00:06:25,793 --> 00:06:28,543
Oh. If everybody loved him so much,
why'd he get canceled?
144
00:06:28,543 --> 00:06:32,543
Turns out old Jeb's idea of a jamboree
was getting blackout drunk
145
00:06:32,543 --> 00:06:36,334
and hosting wild orgies
with that fella from Hogan's Hero.
146
00:06:36,334 --> 00:06:38,209
[laughs] Okay.
147
00:06:38,209 --> 00:06:39,834
I love this guy.
148
00:06:39,834 --> 00:06:43,209
All right, so how does the chimp
fit into this Norman Rockwell painting?
149
00:06:43,209 --> 00:06:47,626
Well, it all started
when Scatter got kicked out of NASA.
150
00:06:47,626 --> 00:06:49,709
[bluegrass music playing]
151
00:06:51,876 --> 00:06:55,001
That damn fool couldn't keep
his monkey junk in his diaper.
152
00:06:55,001 --> 00:06:57,334
Knocked up one of the other space chimps.
153
00:06:57,334 --> 00:06:58,668
He was devastated.
154
00:06:58,668 --> 00:07:03,084
It took him
on a nasty spiral of drugs, drinking,
155
00:07:03,084 --> 00:07:05,418
and dumpster sex with strangers.
156
00:07:05,418 --> 00:07:06,418
[Scatter] Hmm?
157
00:07:07,043 --> 00:07:08,376
[growls]
158
00:07:11,918 --> 00:07:13,376
- [zipper rasps]
- [wet sucking sounds]
159
00:07:14,209 --> 00:07:15,709
- [groans]
- [tires squeal, car crashes]
160
00:07:15,709 --> 00:07:17,126
[steam hissing]
161
00:07:17,793 --> 00:07:21,668
[Bertie] All he ever wanted
was to be the first chimp on the moon.
162
00:07:22,251 --> 00:07:24,793
But he only made it as far as Memphis.
163
00:07:24,793 --> 00:07:26,418
[whimpering softly]
164
00:07:26,418 --> 00:07:29,043
- [gibbering]
- [Bertie] And when the money ran out,
165
00:07:29,043 --> 00:07:32,168
Scatter did photo shoots
for Barely Human magazine.
166
00:07:32,168 --> 00:07:34,251
Lordy, I pray for that monkey's soul.
167
00:07:34,251 --> 00:07:39,376
But every unholy sin he made
went to paying for his next fix.
168
00:07:41,209 --> 00:07:43,376
Jeb took him in and cleaned him up.
169
00:07:43,376 --> 00:07:45,668
[CeCe, scoffing]
Least he could do after pissing on him.
170
00:07:45,668 --> 00:07:48,751
[Bertie] He gave Scatter
a job as his sidekick,
171
00:07:48,751 --> 00:07:53,209
and that nasty-ass chimp
turned out to be a big hit with the kids.
172
00:07:53,209 --> 00:07:54,834
Things were great.
173
00:07:54,834 --> 00:07:58,876
But then the sponsors found out
about Cowboy Jeb's kinky side.
174
00:07:58,876 --> 00:08:01,126
[CeCe] And gave him a big, fat raise?
175
00:08:03,251 --> 00:08:05,418
[Bertie] Cowboy Jeb lost everything,
176
00:08:05,418 --> 00:08:07,168
ended up going bankrupt,
177
00:08:07,168 --> 00:08:10,126
and sold Scatter to Elvis for 200 bucks.
178
00:08:10,626 --> 00:08:11,834
Wow, cheap.
179
00:08:12,668 --> 00:08:14,209
How much did he pay for Bobby Ray?
180
00:08:15,126 --> 00:08:16,418
{\an8}[sighs]
181
00:08:16,418 --> 00:08:18,959
- [romantic jazzy music playing]
- Baby... Baby, wait.
182
00:08:19,543 --> 00:08:22,334
Look, I got a little surprise for you.
183
00:08:22,334 --> 00:08:24,334
As sexy as you look right now,
184
00:08:24,334 --> 00:08:26,793
I was thinking
maybe we can connect on a...
185
00:08:27,459 --> 00:08:28,501
deeper level.
186
00:08:28,501 --> 00:08:31,834
Ooh, please tell me
that's lysergic acid diethylamide.
187
00:08:31,834 --> 00:08:35,126
Didn't realize
you're on a first-name basis with LSD.
188
00:08:35,834 --> 00:08:37,876
[psychedelic rock music playing]
189
00:08:40,918 --> 00:08:43,793
{\an8}[Elvis] Didn't know you listened
to this kind of music either.
190
00:08:43,793 --> 00:08:45,959
Baby, it's groovy, don't you think?
191
00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:50,293
{\an8}Well, it definitely fits
with the incense and black light posters,
192
00:08:50,293 --> 00:08:52,834
{\an8}that I didn't even know we had,
by the way.
193
00:08:52,834 --> 00:08:57,501
I'll have you know I happen to be
a very cool and with-it chick,
194
00:08:57,501 --> 00:09:01,043
which maybe wouldn't be such a surprise
if you weren't gone so much.
195
00:09:01,043 --> 00:09:02,584
I know. I know. I know.
196
00:09:02,584 --> 00:09:03,584
I just...
197
00:09:05,168 --> 00:09:06,501
Are you sure you want to?
198
00:09:07,834 --> 00:09:09,918
I guess that answers that question.
199
00:09:13,918 --> 00:09:15,751
I'm still not feeling anything.
200
00:09:15,751 --> 00:09:17,501
Damn, me either.
201
00:09:17,501 --> 00:09:19,834
I think maybe it takes a while to kick in.
202
00:09:19,834 --> 00:09:21,876
[in gruff voice] Surprise, asshole. Ha-ha!
203
00:09:21,876 --> 00:09:23,459
How's this for kicking in?
204
00:09:23,459 --> 00:09:24,959
Buckle up, buttercup!
205
00:09:24,959 --> 00:09:25,959
What the fuck?
206
00:09:26,668 --> 00:09:27,876
[in normal voice] Exactly.
207
00:09:27,876 --> 00:09:29,501
I don't see what the big deal is.
208
00:09:29,501 --> 00:09:32,293
I thought we'd at least
see colors or something.
209
00:09:32,293 --> 00:09:33,668
[knocking on door]
210
00:09:33,668 --> 00:09:35,834
Shit, be right back.
211
00:09:41,209 --> 00:09:42,501
What the hell are you doing here?
212
00:09:42,501 --> 00:09:43,543
Well...
213
00:09:44,126 --> 00:09:46,459
- funny story.
- That I don't wanna hear.
214
00:09:46,459 --> 00:09:49,209
You know that barbecue place
you're always babbling about? Ray Ray's?
215
00:09:49,209 --> 00:09:51,668
Yeah, what does Ray Ray's
have to do with anything?
216
00:09:51,668 --> 00:09:52,876
Okay, well, here's the thing.
217
00:09:52,876 --> 00:09:55,834
Don't be mad,
but the restaurant is not there anymore.
218
00:09:55,834 --> 00:09:58,709
- What?
- I mean, as of a few minutes ago.
219
00:09:58,709 --> 00:10:00,709
I'm surprised you didn't see the fireball.
220
00:10:00,709 --> 00:10:02,126
What are you talking about?
221
00:10:02,126 --> 00:10:04,418
Those assholes followed us
back to the States,
222
00:10:04,418 --> 00:10:06,584
the ones from Algeria
who tried to take Leary.
223
00:10:06,584 --> 00:10:08,543
The Professor and I
had just ordered some ribs
224
00:10:08,543 --> 00:10:10,459
when they came
out of nowhere, and then we...
225
00:10:11,209 --> 00:10:13,709
- We kind of got into a little dust-up.
- Dust-up?
226
00:10:13,709 --> 00:10:14,793
Okay, fine, bloodbath.
227
00:10:14,793 --> 00:10:17,418
So, then you came here,
to my fucking home.
228
00:10:17,418 --> 00:10:19,709
Relax, nobody followed me.
229
00:10:21,001 --> 00:10:22,251
Wanna tell him that?
230
00:10:26,543 --> 00:10:30,168
Kill that motherfucker. Finish him.
Chew on his dead fucking eyeball.
231
00:10:30,168 --> 00:10:31,501
I'm not an animal!
232
00:10:31,501 --> 00:10:33,751
I'm not eating anybody's eyeball!
233
00:10:33,751 --> 00:10:35,959
- Uh, no one said anything, dude.
- Jesus.
234
00:10:36,668 --> 00:10:38,751
Oh. I'm losing it.
235
00:10:38,751 --> 00:10:42,126
Uh, yeah, by the way, Agent Overkill,
I'm pretty sure he's dead.
236
00:10:42,126 --> 00:10:43,043
Dear God.
237
00:10:44,418 --> 00:10:46,251
You're gonna pass on the eyeballs?
238
00:10:46,251 --> 00:10:47,709
[laughs] You little bitch.
239
00:10:47,709 --> 00:10:49,751
Jesus, you really are
a pussy motherfucker.
240
00:10:50,501 --> 00:10:53,334
I didn't mean to kill him.
I wasn't even trying to.
241
00:10:53,334 --> 00:10:55,959
Well, his pulverized head begs to differ.
242
00:10:55,959 --> 00:10:58,293
Ugh. It's like head soup.
243
00:10:58,293 --> 00:11:01,876
Would you get out of here, CeCe?
And take Professor Burn-out with you.
244
00:11:01,876 --> 00:11:05,293
Relax, we'll be out
of your weirdly precise hair in no time.
245
00:11:05,293 --> 00:11:08,293
Already called it in. TCB extraction team
will be here in a jiff.
246
00:11:08,293 --> 00:11:11,459
Screw jiff, you need to go.
Get out of here, now.
247
00:11:11,459 --> 00:11:13,209
Priscilla and I just took some LSD.
248
00:11:13,209 --> 00:11:14,543
Get the fuck out.
249
00:11:14,543 --> 00:11:19,084
Look at you being all hip and not square,
taking dangerous hallucinogenic drugs.
250
00:11:19,084 --> 00:11:21,293
I didn't take it to be cool, okay?
251
00:11:21,876 --> 00:11:23,501
Drugs aren't cool, kids.
252
00:11:24,376 --> 00:11:25,584
I'm doing research.
253
00:11:25,584 --> 00:11:27,209
Oh yeah. Yeah, I know.
254
00:11:27,209 --> 00:11:29,251
Me too, since junior high, actually.
255
00:11:29,251 --> 00:11:31,584
So, are you gonna hook me up, or...
256
00:11:31,584 --> 00:11:32,793
I got it from Leary.
257
00:11:32,793 --> 00:11:34,626
Hold the fucking phone!
258
00:11:34,626 --> 00:11:37,834
You have been holding out on me
this whole time, you piece of...
259
00:11:38,626 --> 00:11:40,543
Shit, okay, now I feel bad.
260
00:11:40,543 --> 00:11:42,626
[suspenseful music playing]
261
00:11:49,751 --> 00:11:50,793
[gunshot]
262
00:11:50,793 --> 00:11:53,168
Lucky shot, hillbilly.
263
00:11:53,168 --> 00:11:54,668
[romantic piano music playing]
264
00:11:54,668 --> 00:11:57,001
Everything okay out there?
265
00:11:57,001 --> 00:11:59,043
I think it's finally kicking in.
266
00:11:59,043 --> 00:12:00,084
Ooh!
267
00:12:00,084 --> 00:12:01,584
[children laughing]
268
00:12:03,376 --> 00:12:05,251
Make that definitely kicking in.
269
00:12:05,251 --> 00:12:06,626
[laughs]
270
00:12:06,626 --> 00:12:09,668
Paul McCartney just crawled out of the TV.
271
00:12:10,293 --> 00:12:12,418
Oh my, my...
272
00:12:12,418 --> 00:12:14,043
- my.
- Hello, love.
273
00:12:14,043 --> 00:12:16,668
It feels like I should be
freaking out right now.
274
00:12:16,668 --> 00:12:18,793
Oh relax. You'll be fine.
275
00:12:18,793 --> 00:12:20,584
You know, I've done this a million times.
276
00:12:20,584 --> 00:12:22,126
- Really?
- Oh yeah.
277
00:12:22,126 --> 00:12:24,834
People get high listening
to Beatles albums, and then blam,
278
00:12:25,418 --> 00:12:26,668
there I am.
279
00:12:26,668 --> 00:12:28,626
Ideally wearing clothes, you know.
280
00:12:28,626 --> 00:12:29,584
[Priscilla] Wait.
281
00:12:29,584 --> 00:12:32,126
People hallucinate you in the nude?
282
00:12:32,126 --> 00:12:35,084
They make me do things,
if you know what I mean.
283
00:12:35,084 --> 00:12:36,626
It's a bloody horror show, actually.
284
00:12:36,626 --> 00:12:40,001
So, are you the only
magical tour guide in these trips,
285
00:12:40,001 --> 00:12:41,751
or do other Beatles show up?
286
00:12:41,751 --> 00:12:44,959
Yeah, well, you know,
mostly people hallucinate either me...
287
00:12:44,959 --> 00:12:47,293
Or sometimes they hallucinate John...
288
00:12:47,293 --> 00:12:48,918
Or sometimes George.
289
00:12:49,918 --> 00:12:51,334
Ringo, not so much.
290
00:12:51,876 --> 00:12:55,126
You know, if the drugs are really shite,
you don't even get a Beatle.
291
00:12:55,126 --> 00:12:57,293
You get one of the fucking Monkees.
292
00:12:57,293 --> 00:12:59,043
Talk about a bloody horror show.
293
00:12:59,543 --> 00:13:02,126
[Jeb] Scatter, you old scamp, you!
294
00:13:02,126 --> 00:13:04,668
Oh, I've missed you, partner.
295
00:13:04,668 --> 00:13:06,209
[gibbers]
296
00:13:07,584 --> 00:13:09,168
I'm totally clean.
297
00:13:09,168 --> 00:13:11,293
Sober for two years now.
298
00:13:11,293 --> 00:13:13,668
They're even talking
about bringing the show back.
299
00:13:13,668 --> 00:13:16,084
- [gibbers]
- I know, right?
300
00:13:16,084 --> 00:13:19,168
I was kind of hoping you'd come back.
301
00:13:19,168 --> 00:13:21,001
Get the old team back together.
302
00:13:21,001 --> 00:13:21,918
What do you say?
303
00:13:21,918 --> 00:13:23,834
[coos]
304
00:13:24,793 --> 00:13:26,584
[crowd] Aw!
305
00:13:27,793 --> 00:13:29,751
{\an8}Oh, this sucks.
306
00:13:29,751 --> 00:13:31,001
{\an8}[sighs] I feel you, brother.
307
00:13:31,001 --> 00:13:33,626
You ever feel, you know, unappreciated?
308
00:13:34,126 --> 00:13:36,043
All the damn time.
309
00:13:36,043 --> 00:13:39,376
Sometimes it feels like I'm wasting
my life with this whole Elvis thing.
310
00:13:39,376 --> 00:13:41,126
You shut your damn talk hole.
311
00:13:41,126 --> 00:13:43,751
I saw you sing
at the airport Howard Johnson's.
312
00:13:43,751 --> 00:13:45,168
You are goddamn amazing.
313
00:13:45,168 --> 00:13:47,293
Don't pull my chain, man.
You really think so?
314
00:13:47,293 --> 00:13:50,334
Hey, I ain't going to shit down your neck
and tell you it's raining.
315
00:13:50,334 --> 00:13:52,043
Pretty sure I know that's not rain.
316
00:13:52,043 --> 00:13:56,168
I'm telling you, man. If I close my eyes,
I could have sworn you was Elvis.
317
00:13:56,168 --> 00:13:59,293
That's the problem.
No one closes their eyes.
318
00:13:59,293 --> 00:14:01,834
Maybe the world
just ain't ready for a Black Elvis.
319
00:14:01,834 --> 00:14:03,334
I haven't had a gig in months.
320
00:14:03,334 --> 00:14:05,459
Come on, I find that hard to believe.
321
00:14:05,959 --> 00:14:07,501
[scoffs] Believe it, brother.
322
00:14:07,501 --> 00:14:10,918
The only Elvis working less than me
is Orthodox Jewish Elvis.
323
00:14:10,918 --> 00:14:14,251
And that's only because he can't work
weekends starting sundown Friday night.
324
00:14:14,251 --> 00:14:15,543
Ain't that right, Sid?
325
00:14:15,543 --> 00:14:17,959
Shabbat, rattle and roll, my brother.
326
00:14:18,834 --> 00:14:20,168
Could be more coming here.
327
00:14:20,168 --> 00:14:22,501
Or not. Maybe try being more positive.
328
00:14:22,501 --> 00:14:23,918
- [objects crash]
- [glass tinkles]
329
00:14:23,918 --> 00:14:26,709
Okay, I'm positive
there's more coming here.
330
00:14:26,709 --> 00:14:28,668
[suspenseful music playing]
331
00:14:30,293 --> 00:14:31,876
[all yell and grunt]
332
00:14:35,126 --> 00:14:37,584
Oh! Really love
what you've done to the place.
333
00:14:37,584 --> 00:14:40,834
It's got that whole
mid-century modern warfare vibe.
334
00:14:40,834 --> 00:14:41,959
Who's your deco?
335
00:14:47,251 --> 00:14:48,543
Oh! Good call.
336
00:14:48,543 --> 00:14:51,751
Yes, I didn't like
that coffee table either, hideous.
337
00:14:51,751 --> 00:14:54,501
Shut the fuck up, asshole!
338
00:14:54,501 --> 00:14:57,793
Again, weird guy, didn't say anything.
339
00:14:57,793 --> 00:15:00,334
I wasn't talking to you.
I was talking to him.
340
00:15:00,334 --> 00:15:02,376
[laughs] She can't see me, Einstein.
341
00:15:02,376 --> 00:15:05,751
Do you not know how LSD trips work?
342
00:15:06,626 --> 00:15:09,084
[CeCe] Okay, cupcake,
how the fuck did you follow us?
343
00:15:09,959 --> 00:15:12,793
With the tracker
you left in our submarine.
344
00:15:12,793 --> 00:15:14,584
Thank you for that.
345
00:15:14,584 --> 00:15:15,501
Don't look at me.
346
00:15:15,501 --> 00:15:18,126
You're the one
who left the tracker on the sub, dumbass.
347
00:15:18,126 --> 00:15:20,001
Doesn't mean I want you looking at me.
348
00:15:20,001 --> 00:15:23,418
You have no idea what kind
of shitstorm is coming your way.
349
00:15:23,418 --> 00:15:25,084
We are legion.
350
00:15:25,084 --> 00:15:27,251
Uh-oh, sounds like
you fucked up, superspy,
351
00:15:27,251 --> 00:15:29,126
bringing your dirty work home with you.
352
00:15:29,834 --> 00:15:31,251
Wife's gonna be pissed.
353
00:15:31,251 --> 00:15:33,584
I'd be nervous if I were you,
and not just because
354
00:15:33,584 --> 00:15:36,418
Paul fucking McCartney's trying
to get in her pants in your basement.
355
00:15:36,418 --> 00:15:38,918
Talk about a British invasion.
356
00:15:38,918 --> 00:15:40,668
Side note, you may wanna duck now.
357
00:15:40,668 --> 00:15:42,418
[gunfire]
358
00:15:44,626 --> 00:15:46,126
Ooh-whee, I'm pretty!
359
00:15:46,876 --> 00:15:48,293
[plays flurry of notes]
360
00:15:48,293 --> 00:15:51,709
- Now, let's boogie-woogie, motherfucker.
- [swinging rock music playing]
361
00:15:51,709 --> 00:15:53,584
- [punches landing]
- [Paul McCartney laughs]
362
00:15:53,584 --> 00:15:55,376
[Paul McCartney]
Yeah, you know, great times.
363
00:15:55,376 --> 00:15:58,209
I did this in Hamburg once,
but it wasn't on a Twister board.
364
00:16:05,709 --> 00:16:09,376
I can't believe I'm gonna die
in your tacky jungle fantasy room.
365
00:16:09,376 --> 00:16:10,668
Tacky?
366
00:16:10,668 --> 00:16:14,668
What? What? What, like your jungle room's
way more refined or something?
367
00:16:14,668 --> 00:16:16,001
That's just it.
368
00:16:16,001 --> 00:16:18,668
No one else has a fucking jungle room.
369
00:16:19,793 --> 00:16:22,084
Uh, the waterfall's a tad much, King.
370
00:16:23,834 --> 00:16:26,418
Oh, you still don't get
how LSD works, do you?
371
00:16:26,418 --> 00:16:27,626
[grunts]
372
00:16:29,834 --> 00:16:31,709
So, this is what dying's like.
373
00:16:32,459 --> 00:16:33,793
Get used to it.
374
00:16:33,793 --> 00:16:35,543
You're in TCB, baby.
375
00:16:35,543 --> 00:16:39,126
You have a bright future in being dead.
376
00:16:42,168 --> 00:16:43,959
[indistinct chatter]
377
00:16:44,834 --> 00:16:46,084
[yells]
378
00:16:47,834 --> 00:16:50,084
I'm usually the peace and love guy
on these trips,
379
00:16:50,084 --> 00:16:53,334
but, uh, this gratuitous violence
is actually a nice change of pace.
380
00:16:53,334 --> 00:16:55,793
Ah! God, I love your accent.
381
00:16:58,834 --> 00:17:02,334
'Scilla, that was incredible.
Where'd you learn to do all that?
382
00:17:02,334 --> 00:17:04,209
I've been taking karate lessons,
383
00:17:04,209 --> 00:17:07,043
something you would know
if you were around more often.
384
00:17:07,043 --> 00:17:10,334
Ah, I "sense a"
trouble in paradise, pretty boy.
385
00:17:11,293 --> 00:17:12,501
Get it? [chuckles]
386
00:17:12,501 --> 00:17:14,084
Sense, sensei...
387
00:17:14,084 --> 00:17:16,043
You get the wordplay, anybody?
388
00:17:19,001 --> 00:17:21,876
How the hell am I gonna
explain all this to Priscilla, huh?
389
00:17:21,876 --> 00:17:24,168
Well, she's tripping her ass off,
so I wouldn't worry.
390
00:17:24,168 --> 00:17:26,543
And that's exactly why
you shouldn't eat meat.
391
00:17:26,543 --> 00:17:28,876
Those poor animals.
392
00:17:28,876 --> 00:17:31,084
- [groaning softly]
- [children laughing distantly]
393
00:17:31,584 --> 00:17:32,959
I'm serious.
394
00:17:32,959 --> 00:17:35,293
My house looks like a goddamn war zone.
395
00:17:35,293 --> 00:17:36,626
TCB has a cleanup crew.
396
00:17:36,626 --> 00:17:40,043
They'll get this place back
to all its cheesy splendor in no time.
397
00:17:40,043 --> 00:17:43,876
Um, side note,
we might want to take care of that first.
398
00:17:43,876 --> 00:17:46,709
If you follow us, she dies.
399
00:17:46,709 --> 00:17:48,793
[ominous music playing]
400
00:17:51,251 --> 00:17:52,251
[engine revs]
401
00:17:54,459 --> 00:17:56,584
Mind if I appropriate
this side of your neck?
402
00:17:56,584 --> 00:17:57,876
Get the hell off of me!
403
00:17:57,876 --> 00:18:00,251
Come on, man,
it's The Thing with Two Heads.
404
00:18:00,251 --> 00:18:02,126
Rosey Grier and Ray Milland.
405
00:18:02,126 --> 00:18:03,209
Great fucking movie.
406
00:18:03,209 --> 00:18:04,251
Didn't see it.
407
00:18:04,251 --> 00:18:05,709
Oh! Fucking classic.
408
00:18:05,709 --> 00:18:09,459
They transplant a white bigot's head
onto a Black man's body,
409
00:18:09,459 --> 00:18:11,918
and brilliance ensues, right?
410
00:18:11,918 --> 00:18:13,043
Somehow, I doubt that.
411
00:18:13,043 --> 00:18:14,459
Oh. Well. Excuse me.
412
00:18:14,459 --> 00:18:18,376
It might not reach the cinematic heights
of that piece-of-shit nun movie you made,
413
00:18:18,376 --> 00:18:19,293
but still.
414
00:18:22,084 --> 00:18:23,168
[grunts]
415
00:18:24,584 --> 00:18:26,418
[glass shatters]
416
00:18:28,834 --> 00:18:29,959
[tires squeal]
417
00:18:29,959 --> 00:18:31,751
[upbeat rockabilly music playing]
418
00:18:37,709 --> 00:18:40,209
I'm going after Priscilla.
You get the other two.
419
00:18:40,209 --> 00:18:41,626
You're not the boss of me.
420
00:18:41,626 --> 00:18:43,209
But yeah, okay, it sounds like a plan.
421
00:18:56,626 --> 00:18:58,168
[guests scream]
422
00:19:02,959 --> 00:19:04,376
[growls]
423
00:19:07,084 --> 00:19:08,168
[shrieks]
424
00:19:09,876 --> 00:19:12,043
[yells]
425
00:19:17,584 --> 00:19:18,751
[gunshot]
426
00:19:20,251 --> 00:19:21,834
[all scream]
427
00:19:21,834 --> 00:19:22,834
[elevator dings]
428
00:19:22,834 --> 00:19:24,418
[quacking]
429
00:19:32,751 --> 00:19:35,626
Okay, I get it.
They're pretty fucking great.
430
00:19:36,543 --> 00:19:37,876
[feedback squeals]
431
00:19:37,876 --> 00:19:41,084
Listen up,
some assholes kidnapped Priscilla.
432
00:19:41,084 --> 00:19:45,418
I got a brand-new Cadillac for whoever
grabs that fucker by the back door.
433
00:19:45,418 --> 00:19:46,834
You got this, my man.
434
00:19:47,334 --> 00:19:48,501
Hell yeah, I got this.
435
00:19:49,709 --> 00:19:51,959
Here's a song by Mr. Chuck Berry.
436
00:19:51,959 --> 00:19:53,001
Hit it, boys.
437
00:19:53,001 --> 00:19:54,459
[band playing "Memphis"]
438
00:19:54,459 --> 00:19:58,209
There you go, nice gesture letting
a brother show you how it's done.
439
00:19:58,209 --> 00:20:03,334
You do know that Chuck Berry is the true
king of rock and roll, right, King?
440
00:20:03,334 --> 00:20:06,959
I can't stress enough
how much I need you to shut the hell up.
441
00:20:06,959 --> 00:20:10,959
♪ Long-distance information
Give me Memphis, Tennessee ♪
442
00:20:12,543 --> 00:20:15,543
- Did they hurt you?
- I'm fine. Just go.
443
00:20:15,543 --> 00:20:17,751
You have to be the hero. I get it.
444
00:20:18,376 --> 00:20:19,293
[lips smack]
445
00:20:22,834 --> 00:20:25,209
Elvis, the schmucks went that way.
446
00:20:25,209 --> 00:20:27,168
Thanks, man. Dig the sideburns.
447
00:20:27,168 --> 00:20:28,876
- [whip cracking]
- [muffled moan]
448
00:20:28,876 --> 00:20:30,043
[crowd yelling angrily]
449
00:20:31,168 --> 00:20:34,334
♪ Oh help me, information ♪
450
00:20:34,334 --> 00:20:36,834
♪ Get in touch with my Marie... ♪
451
00:20:37,668 --> 00:20:38,584
[crowd shouting]
452
00:20:39,251 --> 00:20:40,501
[engine revs]
453
00:20:42,043 --> 00:20:45,376
Whoa! Goddamn!
Who do you think you are? Elvis Knelvis?
454
00:20:48,959 --> 00:20:53,334
Oh man, I know I've been giving you shit,
but that was pretty badass.
455
00:20:53,876 --> 00:20:55,126
[grunts]
456
00:20:55,126 --> 00:20:57,001
[suspenseful music playing]
457
00:21:03,876 --> 00:21:05,793
Finish him. Kill this asshole.
458
00:21:05,793 --> 00:21:06,959
[Elvis] Ah.
459
00:21:06,959 --> 00:21:07,959
I don't...
460
00:21:07,959 --> 00:21:09,918
[stammers] I don't know.
461
00:21:09,918 --> 00:21:11,709
I don't know what's real anymore.
462
00:21:11,709 --> 00:21:13,793
Ain't nothing more real
than a memorable beheading.
463
00:21:13,793 --> 00:21:14,918
Let's get shit done.
464
00:21:14,918 --> 00:21:16,584
[Elvis] I don't have to kill him.
465
00:21:16,584 --> 00:21:18,584
Maybe he's got a wife, kids...
466
00:21:18,584 --> 00:21:21,126
Motherfucker, you have a wife and kid.
467
00:21:21,126 --> 00:21:24,168
This animal came to your house,
held a gun to your wife's head.
468
00:21:24,168 --> 00:21:26,459
What if your little girl had been home?
Kill him!
469
00:21:27,084 --> 00:21:29,084
The extra head's got a point, honey.
470
00:21:29,084 --> 00:21:30,584
Maybe you should kill him.
471
00:21:30,584 --> 00:21:32,251
Normally I'd say kill him, boss,
472
00:21:32,251 --> 00:21:35,043
but, hell, I've hardly
been in this episode, so...
473
00:21:35,043 --> 00:21:36,543
Don't listen to Gomer Pyle.
474
00:21:36,543 --> 00:21:39,459
You're a killing machine.
You're my killing machine.
475
00:21:39,459 --> 00:21:40,668
No, goddamn it. No!
476
00:21:41,251 --> 00:21:42,084
No, I'm not.
477
00:21:42,084 --> 00:21:44,376
We don't...
478
00:21:44,376 --> 00:21:47,584
- We don't have to kill him.
- Don't have to kill him!
479
00:21:47,584 --> 00:21:49,668
Goulet, Goulet, Goulet ♪
480
00:21:49,668 --> 00:21:53,168
Yes, we do!
481
00:21:54,751 --> 00:21:56,251
[Elvis screams]
482
00:21:58,418 --> 00:21:59,918
[blades slice]
483
00:22:00,918 --> 00:22:02,793
Damn, it's fucked up to be me.
484
00:22:02,793 --> 00:22:04,751
[upbeat bluegrass music playing]
485
00:22:06,834 --> 00:22:08,834
[Priscilla]
So, how long do you think this LSD lasts?
486
00:22:08,834 --> 00:22:11,168
Can't be over soon enough for me.
487
00:22:11,168 --> 00:22:13,543
Oh look, it's Scatter.
488
00:22:13,543 --> 00:22:14,834
He looks so cute.
489
00:22:15,709 --> 00:22:17,876
What? Hey, I thought I was the cute one.
490
00:22:17,876 --> 00:22:20,168
Oh fuck, look at the time. I gotta go.
491
00:22:20,168 --> 00:22:22,251
I'm late for Jack Nicholson's acid trip.
492
00:22:24,459 --> 00:22:27,084
Trust me, it gets dark fast.
493
00:22:31,043 --> 00:22:34,709
Now, you know that monkey was better off
with that freakshow cowboy, right?
494
00:22:34,709 --> 00:22:37,543
Just like I was better off
before you, asshole.
495
00:22:38,126 --> 00:22:40,168
[Bertie] Exactly how I found them.
496
00:22:40,168 --> 00:22:43,001
They've been sitting like that
going on 12 hours now.
497
00:22:43,001 --> 00:22:44,168
Jesus!
498
00:22:44,168 --> 00:22:46,126
And what the hell happened upstairs?
499
00:22:46,126 --> 00:22:49,001
Looks like I missed a hell of a party,
which is not like me.
500
00:22:49,001 --> 00:22:50,668
Well, that's the damnedest thing.
501
00:22:50,668 --> 00:22:52,001
You got to see this.
502
00:22:52,001 --> 00:22:56,918
That boy was beating his own self up
and shooting up his own goddamn house.
503
00:22:56,918 --> 00:22:58,959
What the hell did you give him?
504
00:22:58,959 --> 00:23:01,251
Ah, one of my custom blends.
505
00:23:01,251 --> 00:23:04,626
An earthy, full-bodied acid
with an oaky vanilla character.
506
00:23:05,209 --> 00:23:07,126
I'm surprised he's still alive, actually.
507
00:23:07,126 --> 00:23:08,334
[CeCe] Got any more?
508
00:23:08,334 --> 00:23:10,626
Oh come on. I'm bored out of my mind here.
509
00:23:10,626 --> 00:23:13,293
I know you're holding.
Just give me a little something.
510
00:23:15,709 --> 00:23:17,876
[upbeat rockabilly music playing]