1
00:00:21,793 --> 00:00:23,168
‪行了

2
00:00:23,168 --> 00:00:25,876
‪我都闷坏了 我知道你藏着掖着

3
00:00:25,876 --> 00:00:27,584
‪给我一点就好了

4
00:00:27,584 --> 00:00:30,668
‪迷幻药、迷幻蘑菇、安眠酮都好
‪随你想给我哪个 我不挑剔

5
00:00:31,251 --> 00:00:34,376
‪快给我 不然我就变成
‪亚马逊迷幻蟾蜍来舔你

6
00:00:34,376 --> 00:00:35,543
‪我是认真的

7
00:00:42,668 --> 00:00:44,084
‪该死的 枉费工夫

8
00:00:46,418 --> 00:00:49,459
‪整个飞行途中你都在听自己的歌吗?

9
00:00:49,459 --> 00:00:51,043
‪不知道你有没有意识到

10
00:00:51,043 --> 00:00:54,293
‪飞机上的娱乐设施不多

11
00:00:54,293 --> 00:00:57,751
‪你知道汤姆·琼斯唱的版本
‪特好听的吗?

12
00:00:57,751 --> 00:01:00,459
‪真不知道你为什么还要翻唱

13
00:01:01,043 --> 00:01:02,834
‪你没别的事做了吗?

14
00:01:02,834 --> 00:01:05,209
‪我大可再试着舔舔利里的脸

15
00:01:05,209 --> 00:01:07,459
‪味道就像老男人的睾丸

16
00:01:07,459 --> 00:01:09,501
‪把我代入这种恶心的画面
‪你开心了吧?

17
00:01:30,793 --> 00:01:33,418
‪片名:特务猫王

18
00:01:44,543 --> 00:01:45,668
{\an8}‪老兄 我认识你

19
00:01:45,668 --> 00:01:47,376
{\an8}‪只要是人都认识我

20
00:01:47,376 --> 00:01:50,751
{\an8}‪我已经习惯了 可以让我上厕所吗?

21
00:01:50,751 --> 00:01:52,084
{\an8}‪不是 你搞错了

22
00:01:52,084 --> 00:01:54,293
{\an8}‪我认识另一个你

23
00:01:54,293 --> 00:01:56,751
{\an8}‪你是我在德国的实验品

24
00:01:57,459 --> 00:01:59,376
{\an8}‪我看你肯定是嗑嗨了

25
00:01:59,376 --> 00:02:02,209
{\an8}‪还用说吗?嗑药的确是我的职责之一

26
00:02:02,209 --> 00:02:05,459
{\an8}‪严格说来
‪整个致幻药物业务模型是我开创的

27
00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:08,418
{\an8}‪我就像是嗑药嗑上瘾的雷·克罗克

28
00:02:08,418 --> 00:02:09,959
{\an8}‪那你好自为之吧

29
00:02:09,959 --> 00:02:11,793
{\an8}‪失陪了

30
00:02:12,834 --> 00:02:14,751
{\an8}‪你还搞不清楚 我认识你

31
00:02:15,376 --> 00:02:19,293
{\an8}‪你是图珀洛 你就是“图珀洛计划”

32
00:02:20,293 --> 00:02:21,584
{\an8}‪图珀洛

33
00:02:21,584 --> 00:02:24,043
{\an8}‪不要紧的 他不会记得的

34
00:02:25,293 --> 00:02:27,418
{\an8}‪天啊 搞什么鬼?

35
00:02:27,418 --> 00:02:29,918
{\an8}‪-你脑海里是不是闪过一些画面?
‪-什么?

36
00:02:29,918 --> 00:02:33,418
{\an8}‪我就知道 副作用偶尔令人作呕

37
00:02:34,043 --> 00:02:37,334
{\an8}‪我试过排除这种副作用
‪可惜找不到正确的配方

38
00:02:37,334 --> 00:02:41,251
{\an8}‪拿去 找个安全舒适的地方嗑一颗

39
00:02:41,251 --> 00:02:42,168
{\an8}‪方糖?

40
00:02:42,168 --> 00:02:43,668
{\an8}‪当我是马吗?

41
00:02:44,376 --> 00:02:46,584
{\an8}‪这话说来奇怪
‪但我有时确实当你是一匹马

42
00:02:47,126 --> 00:02:49,459
{\an8}‪乖 马儿乖

43
00:02:49,459 --> 00:02:51,043
{\an8}‪你脑子是不是进水了?

44
00:02:51,043 --> 00:02:52,501
{\an8}‪不是的 你听我说

45
00:02:52,501 --> 00:02:54,043
{\an8}‪这段短暂的致幻体验

46
00:02:54,043 --> 00:02:56,459
{\an8}‪由我亲自研发的迷幻药引发

47
00:02:56,459 --> 00:02:59,126
{\an8}‪天然有机、从研究室直接进货
‪纯手工制造

48
00:02:59,126 --> 00:03:00,918
{\an8}‪跟我卖给披头四乐队的是同一批货

49
00:03:00,918 --> 00:03:04,876
{\an8}‪你知道我是半个缉毒警察吧?

50
00:03:04,876 --> 00:03:07,459
{\an8}‪你是指你和尼克松的合照吗?

51
00:03:07,459 --> 00:03:10,543
{\an8}‪我知道
‪你们的合照印在咖啡杯上挺好看的

52
00:03:10,543 --> 00:03:12,584
{\an8}‪市面上竟然有这种咖啡杯?

53
00:03:13,709 --> 00:03:16,126
{\an8}‪天啊 你应该
‪好好经营你的周边产品了

54
00:03:16,126 --> 00:03:17,376
{\an8}‪图珀洛

55
00:03:19,084 --> 00:03:21,168
{\an8}‪-也对
‪-怎么了?又有画面闪过了?

56
00:03:21,168 --> 00:03:22,293
{\an8}‪太奇怪了

57
00:03:22,293 --> 00:03:24,293
{\an8}‪你肯定是受到了什么刺激 图珀洛

58
00:03:25,543 --> 00:03:27,334
{\an8}‪触发点可能就是“图珀洛”这个词

59
00:03:28,418 --> 00:03:30,709
{\an8}‪该死的
‪可以别再说“图珀洛”这个词了吗?

60
00:03:32,418 --> 00:03:34,751
{\an8}‪这次是你自己说的 图...

61
00:03:35,459 --> 00:03:38,251
{\an8}‪听好 你体内有些不为人知的秘密

62
00:03:38,751 --> 00:03:41,751
{\an8}‪嗑下我给你的迷幻药
‪放飞思绪吧 老兄

63
00:03:42,251 --> 00:03:46,084
{\an8}‪放飞思绪 放飞屁股

64
00:03:46,084 --> 00:03:48,876
{\an8}‪各位先生女士 请回到座位上

65
00:03:48,876 --> 00:03:50,709
{\an8}‪我们即将抵达孟菲斯

66
00:03:53,084 --> 00:03:54,959
{\an8}‪各位 听好

67
00:03:54,959 --> 00:03:58,126
{\an8}‪抵达航厦后 就把埃尔维斯团团围住

68
00:03:58,126 --> 00:04:00,251
{\an8}‪无论发生什么事 只管向前走就对了

69
00:04:00,251 --> 00:04:02,834
{\an8}‪只要能让我买到
‪道地的黏糊糊巧克力糖就行了

70
00:04:02,834 --> 00:04:04,376
{\an8}‪我快要饿死了

71
00:04:04,376 --> 00:04:05,959
{\an8}‪还是不要停下脚步较好

72
00:04:05,959 --> 00:04:08,334
{\an8}‪歌迷就是趁他停下脚步蜂拥而上的

73
00:04:08,334 --> 00:04:09,251
{\an8}‪蜂拥而上?

74
00:04:09,251 --> 00:04:14,876
{\an8}‪马文·盖伊

75
00:04:14,876 --> 00:04:18,501
{\an8}‪看来不会有人蜂拥而上吧?

76
00:04:19,084 --> 00:04:21,043
{\an8}‪天啊 好壮观的景象

77
00:04:21,043 --> 00:04:22,459
{\an8}‪我研发的药也太牛了

78
00:04:24,334 --> 00:04:27,751
‪这星期皮博迪酒店有一场猫王研讨会

79
00:04:27,751 --> 00:04:30,959
‪难怪到处都是我的冒牌货

80
00:04:30,959 --> 00:04:33,459
‪虽然有些模仿者让我摸不着头脑

81
00:04:34,709 --> 00:04:35,751
‪(吸烟区)

82
00:04:37,709 --> 00:04:38,668
‪欢迎回来 埃尔维斯

83
00:04:38,668 --> 00:04:42,168
‪你的凯迪拉克跑车就在外头
‪打蜡后闪闪发亮 蓄势待发

84
00:04:43,251 --> 00:04:46,126
{\an8}‪黏糊糊巧克力糖太好吃了

85
00:04:46,126 --> 00:04:48,001
{\an8}‪这是田纳西州最伟大的发明

86
00:04:48,001 --> 00:04:50,584
{\an8}‪你好像忘了我也是在田纳西州出生的

87
00:04:50,584 --> 00:04:51,876
{\an8}‪其实我并没有忘记

88
00:04:53,876 --> 00:04:55,043
‪(洛林汽车旅馆)

89
00:04:55,043 --> 00:04:56,709
‪(新菊影院)

90
00:04:56,709 --> 00:04:59,709
‪(比尔街 皮博迪酒店 太阳录音室)

91
00:04:59,709 --> 00:05:00,626
{\an8}‪(猫王大道)

92
00:05:00,626 --> 00:05:03,668
‪(猫王 温柔地爱我吧)

93
00:05:05,709 --> 00:05:07,168
‪天啊 当猫王真好

94
00:05:11,876 --> 00:05:13,334
‪你们都给我听好

95
00:05:13,334 --> 00:05:16,418
‪这个周末你们都不准踏入优雅园
‪就从这一刻开始生效

96
00:05:16,418 --> 00:05:18,418
‪我需要好好跟普瑞希拉独处

97
00:05:18,418 --> 00:05:21,376
‪没问题 我也不想跟你一起相处

98
00:05:21,376 --> 00:05:24,876
‪我和教授要去吃烤猪肋排
‪顺便到处观光

99
00:05:24,876 --> 00:05:27,543
‪你应该到皮博迪酒店
‪去看看喷水池里的鸭子

100
00:05:27,543 --> 00:05:29,418
‪对啊 我在飞机上看过介绍的文章

101
00:05:29,418 --> 00:05:31,168
‪酒店大厅竟然有鸭子

102
00:05:31,168 --> 00:05:33,959
‪好像很有趣的样子
‪卫生标准似乎也严重不达标

103
00:05:33,959 --> 00:05:35,459
‪随你们想干什么

104
00:05:35,459 --> 00:05:37,959
‪只要不是在我家就行了

105
00:05:37,959 --> 00:05:40,418
‪话说回来
‪你确实应该去看看那些鸭子

106
00:05:41,751 --> 00:05:44,043
‪普瑞希拉 我回来了
‪我两个小宝贝呢?

107
00:05:44,043 --> 00:05:45,626
‪亲爱的 我马上下楼

108
00:05:45,626 --> 00:05:48,043
‪这个周末我让帕茜看顾丽莎

109
00:05:48,043 --> 00:05:50,501
‪这几天你只属于我一个人

110
00:05:50,501 --> 00:05:52,459
‪不错嘛

111
00:05:52,459 --> 00:05:56,043
‪你先坐着吧 顺便把眼睛蒙起来

112
00:05:56,043 --> 00:05:57,334
‪我给你准备了一个惊喜

113
00:05:57,918 --> 00:06:01,459
‪天啊 我感到体温升高了

114
00:06:03,459 --> 00:06:05,293
‪拿下眼罩

115
00:06:07,751 --> 00:06:10,001
‪当猫王真好

116
00:06:10,501 --> 00:06:12,459
‪“杰布牛仔”到底是谁?

117
00:06:12,459 --> 00:06:13,501
‪(皮博迪酒店)

118
00:06:13,501 --> 00:06:16,001
‪杰布牛仔 人见人爱

119
00:06:16,001 --> 00:06:19,084
‪他曾经是
‪孟菲斯收视率最高的儿童节目主持人

120
00:06:19,084 --> 00:06:22,084
‪节目叫《杰布牛仔的小小乐园》

121
00:06:22,084 --> 00:06:23,626
‪当年是个人见人爱的偶像

122
00:06:24,168 --> 00:06:25,793
‪后来他的节目被砍了

123
00:06:25,793 --> 00:06:28,543
‪既然他人见人爱
‪节目怎么会被砍了呢?

124
00:06:28,543 --> 00:06:32,543
‪原来老杰布对“小小乐园”的定义
‪是喝得烂醉如泥

125
00:06:32,543 --> 00:06:36,334
‪然后跟《霍根英雄》的男主角
‪协办群淫会

126
00:06:36,334 --> 00:06:39,876
‪不错嘛 这家伙我喜欢

127
00:06:39,876 --> 00:06:43,209
‪那斯盖特是怎么被代入
‪这片田园风光里的?

128
00:06:43,209 --> 00:06:47,626
‪一切从斯盖特被逐出美国宇航局开始

129
00:06:50,043 --> 00:06:51,793
‪(杰布牛仔和斯盖特历险记)

130
00:06:51,793 --> 00:06:55,001
‪那个可怜的傻子
‪管不好它藏在尿布里的老二

131
00:06:55,001 --> 00:06:58,668
‪搞大了宇航局一只母猩猩的肚子
‪他被逐出宇航局后伤心欲绝

132
00:06:58,668 --> 00:07:03,084
‪从此踏上吸毒酗酒之路 一蹶不振

133
00:07:03,084 --> 00:07:05,668
‪还跟陌生人滥交

134
00:07:08,043 --> 00:07:09,001
{\an8}‪(20美元)

135
00:07:14,876 --> 00:07:15,918
‪(孟菲斯 78公里)

136
00:07:17,793 --> 00:07:21,668
‪它的梦想不过是
‪成为第一个登上月球的猩猩

137
00:07:22,251 --> 00:07:24,793
‪结果它只去到孟菲斯

138
00:07:27,418 --> 00:07:29,043
‪钱花光后

139
00:07:29,043 --> 00:07:32,209
‪斯盖特开始当上色情杂志的模特儿

140
00:07:32,209 --> 00:07:34,251
‪天啊 愿上帝保守它的心灵

141
00:07:34,251 --> 00:07:39,293
‪可惜它把卖肉挣来的钱
‪都花在毒品酒精上

142
00:07:41,209 --> 00:07:43,793
‪后来杰布收留了它 将它洗尽铅华

143
00:07:43,793 --> 00:07:45,876
‪他尿了它一身
‪这是他起码能为斯盖特做的

144
00:07:45,876 --> 00:07:48,751
‪他给斯盖特找了个活儿
‪也就是当他的搭档

145
00:07:48,751 --> 00:07:53,209
‪结果这只穷困潦倒的猩猩
‪竟然成为了小朋友们的偶像

146
00:07:53,209 --> 00:07:54,834
‪本来一切好好的

147
00:07:54,834 --> 00:07:58,876
‪直到赞助商发现杰布牛仔的性癖好

148
00:07:58,876 --> 00:08:01,126
‪然后给他加薪吗?

149
00:08:03,251 --> 00:08:07,168
‪杰布牛仔失去了一切
‪落了个倾家荡产的下场

150
00:08:07,168 --> 00:08:10,126
‪于是他以200块
‪将斯盖特卖给了埃尔维斯

151
00:08:10,626 --> 00:08:11,834
‪天啊 好便宜

152
00:08:12,668 --> 00:08:14,209
‪鲍比·雷的工资多少?

153
00:08:14,668 --> 00:08:16,418
{\an8}‪(埃尔维斯光替粉丝见面会)

154
00:08:17,376 --> 00:08:18,793
‪亲爱的 等一下

155
00:08:19,543 --> 00:08:22,334
‪我给你准备了一个惊喜

156
00:08:22,334 --> 00:08:24,334
‪我知道你现在看起来很火辣性感

157
00:08:24,334 --> 00:08:28,501
‪但我想来个更深层的交流

158
00:08:28,501 --> 00:08:31,834
‪最好是麦角酸二乙酰胺

159
00:08:31,834 --> 00:08:35,126
‪没想到你对这种迷幻药了若指掌

160
00:08:41,376 --> 00:08:43,918
{\an8}‪我也是今天才知道你会听这种音乐

161
00:08:43,918 --> 00:08:45,959
‪亲爱的 你不觉得这种音乐很潮吗?

162
00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:50,293
{\an8}‪跟房里的檀香和黑光海报非常搭配

163
00:08:50,293 --> 00:08:52,834
{\an8}‪我也是今天才知道家里有这些玩意

164
00:08:52,834 --> 00:08:57,501
‪你马上就会知道
‪我是个与时俱进的潮流女神

165
00:08:57,501 --> 00:09:01,043
‪要不是你经常不在家
‪这点你早就意识到了

166
00:09:01,043 --> 00:09:02,584
‪我懂 我知道

167
00:09:02,584 --> 00:09:03,584
‪我只是...

168
00:09:05,168 --> 00:09:06,501
‪你真要嗑吗?

169
00:09:07,834 --> 00:09:09,918
‪看来你用行动回答了问题

170
00:09:13,918 --> 00:09:15,751
‪还是没什么感觉

171
00:09:15,751 --> 00:09:17,501
‪天啊 我也是

172
00:09:17,501 --> 00:09:19,834
‪药效可能要好一阵子才发作

173
00:09:19,834 --> 00:09:21,876
‪没想到吧?傻逼!

174
00:09:21,876 --> 00:09:23,459
‪药效可以吗?

175
00:09:23,459 --> 00:09:24,959
‪坐稳了 小瓜!

176
00:09:24,959 --> 00:09:25,959
‪搞什么鬼?

177
00:09:26,668 --> 00:09:27,876
‪可不是吗?

178
00:09:27,876 --> 00:09:29,501
‪这药还好吧

179
00:09:29,501 --> 00:09:32,543
‪我还以为起码能看到五颜六色什么的

180
00:09:33,751 --> 00:09:35,834
‪该死的 去去马上回来

181
00:09:41,209 --> 00:09:42,501
‪你们来干吗?

182
00:09:42,501 --> 00:09:43,543
‪是这样的

183
00:09:44,126 --> 00:09:46,459
‪-说来有趣了
‪-我不想知道

184
00:09:46,459 --> 00:09:49,209
‪知道你介绍
‪我们去的老雷烤肉餐厅 对吧?

185
00:09:49,209 --> 00:09:51,668
‪没错 老雷烤肉餐厅
‪跟你们来我家有什么关系?

186
00:09:51,668 --> 00:09:55,834
‪事情是这样的 说了你可别生气
‪那家餐厅已经没了

187
00:09:55,834 --> 00:09:58,709
‪-什么?
‪-我是指几分钟前没了

188
00:09:58,709 --> 00:10:00,709
‪没想到你竟然没看到那团火球

189
00:10:00,709 --> 00:10:02,126
‪你到底想说什么?

190
00:10:02,126 --> 00:10:04,418
‪那群兔崽子跟着我们回国了

191
00:10:04,418 --> 00:10:06,709
‪我是指企图
‪在阿尔及利亚带走利里的那伙人

192
00:10:06,709 --> 00:10:10,501
‪我和教授刚点了猪肋排后
‪那伙人就突然出现 接着我们就...

193
00:10:11,209 --> 00:10:12,918
‪于是我们动手打起架来

194
00:10:12,918 --> 00:10:14,793
‪-只动手?
‪-好吧 是展开一场杀戮

195
00:10:14,793 --> 00:10:17,418
‪接着你们跑来我的家

196
00:10:17,418 --> 00:10:19,709
‪放心吧 没人跟上来

197
00:10:20,834 --> 00:10:22,251
‪这句话你要不要跟他说说?

198
00:10:26,543 --> 00:10:30,168
‪干掉这个狗杂种 干掉他!
‪咬下他的死鱼眼!

199
00:10:30,168 --> 00:10:31,501
‪我不是野兽!

200
00:10:31,501 --> 00:10:33,751
‪我不吃人类的眼珠子!

201
00:10:33,751 --> 00:10:35,959
‪-老兄 没人在说话啊
‪-天啊

202
00:10:37,709 --> 00:10:38,751
‪我失控了

203
00:10:38,751 --> 00:10:42,126
‪这位出手太重的特工
‪听我说一句 他已经死了

204
00:10:42,126 --> 00:10:43,043
‪天啊

205
00:10:44,418 --> 00:10:46,793
‪你真打算放过我的眼珠子吗?

206
00:10:46,793 --> 00:10:49,751
‪天啊 没用的兔崽子
‪你果然是个窝囊的狗杂种

207
00:10:50,501 --> 00:10:53,334
‪我没有要他命的意思
‪我连想也没想过

208
00:10:53,334 --> 00:10:55,959
‪他被砸碎的脑袋瓜儿恐怕难以苟同

209
00:10:56,959 --> 00:10:59,751
‪-活像一锅脑浆浓汤
‪-茜茜 你可以滚了吗?

210
00:10:59,751 --> 00:11:01,876
‪顺便把这位疯疯癫癫的博士也带走

211
00:11:01,876 --> 00:11:05,293
‪放心吧 我们马上就滚出
‪你这个造型偏执狂的视野

212
00:11:05,293 --> 00:11:08,293
‪我已经叫人来了
‪TCB撤离队伍很快就抵达这里

213
00:11:08,293 --> 00:11:11,459
‪我不管 我要你们马上滚出去

214
00:11:11,459 --> 00:11:13,209
‪我和普瑞希拉刚嗑了一些迷幻药

215
00:11:13,209 --> 00:11:14,543
‪不会吧?

216
00:11:14,543 --> 00:11:19,084
‪瞧你放飞自我、不按理出牌的模样
‪还嗑起了致命的迷幻药物

217
00:11:19,084 --> 00:11:21,168
‪我嗑药不是为了耍帅 好吗?

218
00:11:21,834 --> 00:11:23,626
‪年轻人 嗑药不帅

219
00:11:24,376 --> 00:11:25,584
‪我在做些研究

220
00:11:25,584 --> 00:11:27,209
‪是吗?我懂

221
00:11:27,209 --> 00:11:29,251
‪我也是 从初中就开始做类似研究了

222
00:11:29,251 --> 00:11:31,584
‪可以给我一点吗?

223
00:11:31,584 --> 00:11:32,793
‪是利里给我的

224
00:11:32,793 --> 00:11:34,626
‪等一下

225
00:11:34,626 --> 00:11:37,834
‪就知道你一直藏着掖着 狗娘养的...

226
00:11:38,626 --> 00:11:40,543
‪该死的 我好内疚

227
00:11:50,876 --> 00:11:53,168
‪乡巴佬 你只是侥幸射中罢了

228
00:11:54,751 --> 00:11:57,001
‪外面都好吗?

229
00:11:57,001 --> 00:11:59,043
‪药效好像终于发作了

230
00:12:03,376 --> 00:12:05,543
‪还真起效了

231
00:12:06,709 --> 00:12:09,668
‪保罗·麦卡特尼刚刚从电视爬出来

232
00:12:10,293 --> 00:12:12,418
‪天啊

233
00:12:12,418 --> 00:12:14,043
‪-天啊
‪-嗨 亲爱的

234
00:12:14,043 --> 00:12:16,668
‪我应该紧张吗?

235
00:12:16,668 --> 00:12:18,793
‪别紧张 没事的

236
00:12:18,793 --> 00:12:20,584
‪这事我做无数次了

237
00:12:20,584 --> 00:12:22,126
‪-真的吗?
‪-真的

238
00:12:22,126 --> 00:12:24,834
‪听披头士乐队音乐都会嗨起来
‪然后砰的一声

239
00:12:25,418 --> 00:12:26,668
‪我就出现了

240
00:12:26,668 --> 00:12:28,626
‪只要不是光着身子就好

241
00:12:28,626 --> 00:12:29,584
‪等等

242
00:12:29,584 --> 00:12:32,126
‪有人产生幻觉后看到你全裸的样子?

243
00:12:32,126 --> 00:12:35,084
‪他们还会叫我做些事 你懂的

244
00:12:35,084 --> 00:12:36,626
‪好可怕哦

245
00:12:36,626 --> 00:12:40,001
‪那在这趟神秘之旅中
‪只有你这位心灵导师出现吗?

246
00:12:40,001 --> 00:12:41,751
‪还是乐队成员也会出现?

247
00:12:41,751 --> 00:12:44,959
‪大都数人的幻觉中都有我的身影

248
00:12:44,959 --> 00:12:47,293
‪有时是约翰出现

249
00:12:47,293 --> 00:12:48,918
‪有时则是乔治

250
00:12:49,918 --> 00:12:51,334
‪林戈就还好

251
00:12:51,876 --> 00:12:55,126
‪如果药劲太弱
‪那出现在幻觉里的就不是披头士了

252
00:12:55,126 --> 00:12:57,293
‪而是这只难看的猩猩

253
00:12:57,293 --> 00:12:59,043
‪我指的是这档烂节目

254
00:12:59,543 --> 00:13:02,126
‪斯盖特 你这个小淘气一点都没变
‪真的是你!

255
00:13:02,126 --> 00:13:04,668
‪我好想念你哦 老搭档

256
00:13:07,584 --> 00:13:09,168
‪我已经脱胎换骨了

257
00:13:09,168 --> 00:13:11,293
‪已经有两年没碰毒品了

258
00:13:11,293 --> 00:13:13,959
‪电视台甚至在考虑重启我们的节目

259
00:13:14,751 --> 00:13:16,084
‪可不是吗?

260
00:13:16,084 --> 00:13:19,168
‪其实我希望你也能一起回归荧幕

261
00:13:19,168 --> 00:13:21,001
‪让老团队再次聚首

262
00:13:21,001 --> 00:13:21,918
‪你怎么看?

263
00:13:28,459 --> 00:13:29,751
{\an8}‪好难受哦

264
00:13:29,751 --> 00:13:31,001
{\an8}‪老兄 我理解你的心情

265
00:13:31,001 --> 00:13:34,001
‪你有没有体验过
‪那种怀才不遇的感觉?

266
00:13:34,001 --> 00:13:36,043
‪经常

267
00:13:36,043 --> 00:13:39,376
‪有时我觉得模仿猫王
‪简直是在浪费人生

268
00:13:39,376 --> 00:13:41,126
{\an8}‪你给我闭嘴

269
00:13:41,126 --> 00:13:43,751
‪我看过你在豪生酒店演出

270
00:13:43,751 --> 00:13:45,168
‪你是个很出色的歌手

271
00:13:45,168 --> 00:13:47,293
‪老兄 不用奉承我了 你真这么想吗?

272
00:13:47,293 --> 00:13:50,334
‪我不是那种喂你吃屎后
‪骗你说是下雨的那种人

273
00:13:50,334 --> 00:13:52,043
‪我敢肯定这玩意不是雨水

274
00:13:52,043 --> 00:13:56,168
‪老兄 你听我说
‪闭上眼睛还真以为你是猫王本尊呢

275
00:13:56,168 --> 00:13:58,959
‪这就是问题所在
‪观众看我演出时都是睁开眼睛的

276
00:13:58,959 --> 00:14:01,543
‪也许这个世界还没准备好
‪迎接一个“黑人版猫王”吧

277
00:14:01,543 --> 00:14:03,334
‪我已经好几个月没接到演出邀约了

278
00:14:03,334 --> 00:14:05,459
‪怎么可能?骗人的吧?

279
00:14:05,959 --> 00:14:07,501
‪老兄 不骗你

280
00:14:07,501 --> 00:14:11,084
‪工作邀约比我少的猫王模仿者
‪只有那个“正统犹太版猫王”

281
00:14:11,084 --> 00:14:14,251
‪原因是他尊守安息日的规定
‪周末都不接演出活儿

282
00:14:14,251 --> 00:14:15,543
‪对吧 席德?

283
00:14:15,543 --> 00:14:17,959
‪安“嘻”日 闹腾翻滚 好哥们

284
00:14:18,709 --> 00:14:20,168
‪可能还有很多敌人会出现

285
00:14:20,168 --> 00:14:22,834
‪也可能都死了 正面点 好吗?

286
00:14:24,209 --> 00:14:26,793
‪好吧 我们将正面迎来更多敌人

287
00:14:35,293 --> 00:14:37,584
‪你家的装潢还真不错

288
00:14:37,584 --> 00:14:40,834
‪充满中世纪现代化战场的氛围

289
00:14:40,834 --> 00:14:41,959
‪装潢师是哪一位?

290
00:14:47,793 --> 00:14:51,751
‪很好 我也不喜欢那张茶几 丑死了

291
00:14:51,751 --> 00:14:54,501
‪闭嘴 傻逼!

292
00:14:54,501 --> 00:14:57,793
‪你又来了 神经病 我什么都没说

293
00:14:57,793 --> 00:15:00,334
‪我没跟你说话 我在跟他说话

294
00:15:01,043 --> 00:15:02,376
‪她看不见我 爱因斯坦再世

295
00:15:02,376 --> 00:15:05,751
‪你还不知道
‪迷幻药起效是怎么样的吗?

296
00:15:06,626 --> 00:15:09,084
‪兔崽子 你们怎么知道我们在这里?

297
00:15:09,959 --> 00:15:12,793
‪你们在我们的潜水艇里留下的追踪器

298
00:15:12,793 --> 00:15:14,584
‪多亏了它

299
00:15:14,584 --> 00:15:15,501
‪别看着我

300
00:15:15,501 --> 00:15:18,126
‪蠢货 是你把追踪器留在潜水艇里的

301
00:15:18,126 --> 00:15:20,001
‪别代表你可以瞪我

302
00:15:20,001 --> 00:15:23,418
‪你们不知道给自己闯下了什么大祸

303
00:15:23,418 --> 00:15:25,084
‪我们是杀也杀不完的

304
00:15:25,084 --> 00:15:27,251
‪糟糕 高级间谍 你好像搞砸了

305
00:15:27,251 --> 00:15:29,126
‪竟然把麻烦事给带回家了

306
00:15:29,834 --> 00:15:31,251
‪老婆会生气的

307
00:15:31,251 --> 00:15:33,584
‪换成我是你 我就开始担心了

308
00:15:33,584 --> 00:15:36,418
‪不仅要担心保罗·麦卡特尼
‪要在地下室跟你老婆厮混

309
00:15:36,418 --> 00:15:38,918
‪还要担心英伦狂潮入侵

310
00:15:38,918 --> 00:15:40,668
‪对了 你还是躲一躲吧

311
00:15:44,626 --> 00:15:46,126
‪天啊 好爽!

312
00:15:48,418 --> 00:15:50,626
‪狗娘养的 一起摇摆吧

313
00:15:53,584 --> 00:15:55,376
‪好开心

314
00:15:55,376 --> 00:15:58,209
‪我在汉堡跳过这种舞
‪只是当时不是在扭扭乐垫子上跳

315
00:16:05,709 --> 00:16:09,376
‪没想到我竟然要
‪死在你打造的烂俗伪森林空间里

316
00:16:09,376 --> 00:16:10,668
‪烂俗?

317
00:16:10,668 --> 00:16:14,668
‪怎么?难道你打造的森林空间
‪比我的更精致吗?

318
00:16:14,668 --> 00:16:16,001
‪这就是问题的症结

319
00:16:16,001 --> 00:16:18,668
‪谁会在家里打造一个森林空间啊?

320
00:16:19,793 --> 00:16:22,084
‪猫王 那个瀑布太夸张了

321
00:16:23,834 --> 00:16:26,418
‪你还是搞不懂迷幻药的药效吧?

322
00:16:29,834 --> 00:16:31,709
‪这就是死的感觉

323
00:16:32,459 --> 00:16:33,793
‪习惯一下吧

324
00:16:33,793 --> 00:16:35,209
‪你可是TCB的成员 小子

325
00:16:35,751 --> 00:16:39,126
‪正在往死亡的康庄大道前进

326
00:16:47,834 --> 00:16:50,084
‪在幻觉中
‪我都是扮演和平使者的角色

327
00:16:50,084 --> 00:16:53,334
‪但这种不负责任的暴力输出
‪其实也是不错的转变

328
00:16:54,293 --> 00:16:55,793
‪天啊 我好喜欢你的口音

329
00:16:58,834 --> 00:17:02,334
‪普瑞希拉 好身手 你从哪里学来的?

330
00:17:02,334 --> 00:17:04,209
‪我最近参加了空手道课程

331
00:17:04,209 --> 00:17:07,043
‪要不是你经常不在家
‪你早就意识到了

332
00:17:07,584 --> 00:17:10,334
‪帅哥 我感应到
‪有人的幸福婚姻“段位”降低了

333
00:17:11,293 --> 00:17:12,501
‪懂吗?

334
00:17:12,501 --> 00:17:14,084
‪婚姻和空手道一样 也有“段位”

335
00:17:14,084 --> 00:17:16,043
‪懂我的哏儿吗?

336
00:17:19,001 --> 00:17:21,876
‪我要怎么跟普瑞希拉解释?

337
00:17:21,876 --> 00:17:24,168
‪她都嗨爆了 这点我不担心

338
00:17:24,168 --> 00:17:26,543
‪这就是你不应该吃肉的原因

339
00:17:26,543 --> 00:17:28,876
‪好可怜的小动物

340
00:17:31,584 --> 00:17:32,959
‪我是认真的

341
00:17:32,959 --> 00:17:35,293
‪我家就像个死伤惨重的战场一样

342
00:17:35,293 --> 00:17:36,626
‪TCB有清理小组

343
00:17:36,626 --> 00:17:40,043
‪马上就能恢复这个家俗气的装潢

344
00:17:40,043 --> 00:17:43,876
‪顺便说一句
‪我们还是先把眼前的事处理好后再说

345
00:17:43,876 --> 00:17:46,709
‪敢跟上来的话 她就必死无疑

346
00:17:54,459 --> 00:17:56,584
‪介意我把头插在你脖子这边吗?

347
00:17:56,584 --> 00:17:57,876
‪别缠住我!

348
00:17:57,876 --> 00:17:59,918
‪别这样嘛 这是《双头人》的场景

349
00:17:59,918 --> 00:18:02,126
‪罗斯福·格里尔和雷·米兰德
‪主演的电影

350
00:18:02,126 --> 00:18:03,209
‪特好看的

351
00:18:03,209 --> 00:18:04,251
‪没看过

352
00:18:04,251 --> 00:18:05,709
‪简直经典

353
00:18:05,709 --> 00:18:07,084
‪讲述一个偏激的白人

354
00:18:07,084 --> 00:18:09,459
‪他的头不小心被移植到
‪一个黑人男子身上

355
00:18:09,459 --> 00:18:11,918
‪接着展开一连串精彩的冒险 懂吗?

356
00:18:11,918 --> 00:18:13,043
‪真有这部电影?

357
00:18:13,043 --> 00:18:14,459
‪不会吧?

358
00:18:14,459 --> 00:18:18,084
‪虽然没有创下
‪你那部俗烂修女电影的票房高度

359
00:18:18,084 --> 00:18:19,293
‪但还是一部好电影

360
00:18:20,418 --> 00:18:21,876
{\an8}‪(兰斯基兄弟 蓝调王酒吧)

361
00:18:30,043 --> 00:18:32,126
‪(埃尔维斯)

362
00:18:36,209 --> 00:18:37,626
‪(埃尔维斯周边商品站)

363
00:18:37,626 --> 00:18:40,209
‪我去救普瑞希拉 另外两个人你搞定

364
00:18:40,209 --> 00:18:41,626
‪我不是你的手下

365
00:18:41,626 --> 00:18:43,209
‪但你这个提议不错

366
00:19:32,751 --> 00:19:35,626
‪好吧 我懂了 确实精彩

367
00:19:37,959 --> 00:19:41,084
‪听好 有人绑架了普瑞希拉

368
00:19:41,084 --> 00:19:45,418
‪谁抓到门后那个王八蛋
‪我就送他一辆崭新的凯迪拉克跑车

369
00:19:45,418 --> 00:19:46,793
‪老兄 你可以的

370
00:19:47,334 --> 00:19:48,501
‪好的 没问题

371
00:19:49,709 --> 00:19:53,001
‪这是查克·贝里的歌 乐队 开始!

372
00:19:54,543 --> 00:19:58,209
‪不错嘛
‪竟然让一个小弟教你怎么表演

373
00:19:58,209 --> 00:20:03,334
‪你知道查克·贝里
‪才是真正的摇滚天王吧 猫王?

374
00:20:03,334 --> 00:20:06,959
‪我无法用言语来强调
‪我有多么希望你闭嘴

375
00:20:12,626 --> 00:20:15,543
‪-他们有没有伤害你?
‪-我没事 去追吧

376
00:20:15,543 --> 00:20:17,751
‪你是大英雄 我懂的

377
00:20:22,834 --> 00:20:25,209
‪埃尔维斯 那个王八蛋往那边跑了

378
00:20:25,209 --> 00:20:27,168
‪谢了 老兄 特喜欢你的鬓角

379
00:20:42,043 --> 00:20:45,376
‪天啊 你真以为
‪你是特技摩托车手吗?

380
00:20:49,459 --> 00:20:53,334
‪好样的 我知道我经常唱衰你
‪但刚刚那一招太牛了

381
00:21:03,876 --> 00:21:05,793
‪干掉他 要了他的命!

382
00:21:07,126 --> 00:21:07,959
‪我不...

383
00:21:07,959 --> 00:21:09,084
‪我不知道...

384
00:21:09,084 --> 00:21:11,709
‪我已经分不清真假了

385
00:21:11,709 --> 00:21:13,793
‪没什么比斩首来得更真实了

386
00:21:13,793 --> 00:21:14,918
‪赶紧杀了他!

387
00:21:14,918 --> 00:21:16,584
‪我没必要杀了他的

388
00:21:16,584 --> 00:21:18,584
‪他可能有老婆孩子

389
00:21:18,584 --> 00:21:21,126
‪狗娘养的 你也有老婆孩子啊

390
00:21:21,126 --> 00:21:24,168
‪但这个畜牲还不是闯进你家
‪拿枪按在你老婆头上吗?

391
00:21:24,168 --> 00:21:26,459
‪如果你女儿在家 后果更不堪设想
‪干掉他!

392
00:21:27,084 --> 00:21:29,084
‪亲爱的 你另一个头说得有道理

393
00:21:29,084 --> 00:21:30,584
‪我看你还是干掉他吧

394
00:21:30,584 --> 00:21:32,334
‪通常我会劝你干掉他

395
00:21:32,334 --> 00:21:35,043
‪但我很少会出现在你的幻觉里
‪所以劝你别动手

396
00:21:35,043 --> 00:21:36,668
‪别听这个冒牌戈默·派尔的话

397
00:21:36,668 --> 00:21:39,293
‪你是杀人机器 你是我的杀人机器

398
00:21:39,293 --> 00:21:40,668
‪不是 真他妈的!

399
00:21:41,251 --> 00:21:42,084
‪不是 我不是!

400
00:21:42,084 --> 00:21:44,376
‪我们没...

401
00:21:44,376 --> 00:21:47,584
‪-我们没必要杀了他!
‪-没必要杀了他!

402
00:21:47,584 --> 00:21:49,668
‪顾雷特...

403
00:21:49,668 --> 00:21:53,168
‪没错 杀了他吧!

404
00:22:00,918 --> 00:22:02,668
‪该死的 当猫王好惨

405
00:22:06,834 --> 00:22:08,834
‪这个迷幻药的药效会持续多久呢?

406
00:22:08,834 --> 00:22:11,168
‪应该很快就消退了吧

407
00:22:11,168 --> 00:22:13,543
‪你瞧 是斯盖特

408
00:22:13,543 --> 00:22:14,834
‪好可爱

409
00:22:15,709 --> 00:22:17,876
‪什么?我才可爱 不是吗?

410
00:22:17,876 --> 00:22:20,168
‪我的妈啊 都几点了?我该走了

411
00:22:20,168 --> 00:22:22,251
‪我要赶去潜入
‪杰克·尼科尔森的幻觉里了

412
00:22:24,459 --> 00:22:27,084
‪相信我 天很快就黑了

413
00:22:31,043 --> 00:22:34,709
‪你知道斯盖特跟那个变态牛仔
‪在一起比较幸福吧?

414
00:22:34,709 --> 00:22:37,543
‪狗杂种 就像没有你的时候
‪我也比较幸福

415
00:22:38,126 --> 00:22:40,168
‪我发现他们的时候
‪他们就是这个样子

416
00:22:40,168 --> 00:22:43,001
‪他们维持同一个姿势整整12个小时了

417
00:22:43,001 --> 00:22:44,168
‪天啊!

418
00:22:44,168 --> 00:22:46,126
‪那楼上到底怎么回事?

419
00:22:46,126 --> 00:22:49,001
‪我好像错过了一个精彩的派对
‪这也太不像我了

420
00:22:49,001 --> 00:22:50,668
‪这就是最诡异的部分

421
00:22:50,668 --> 00:22:52,001
‪你一定要看看

422
00:22:52,001 --> 00:22:56,918
‪这小子不断地伤害自己
‪还在家里不断开枪扫射

423
00:22:56,918 --> 00:22:58,959
‪你到底给了他什么东西?

424
00:22:58,959 --> 00:23:01,251
‪我独家炮制的一种混合型毒品

425
00:23:01,251 --> 00:23:05,043
‪一款洗尽铅华、浓郁醇厚的迷幻药
‪还带有淡淡的橡木香草风味

426
00:23:05,043 --> 00:23:07,126
‪没想到他竟然活下来了

427
00:23:07,126 --> 00:23:08,043
‪还有吗?

428
00:23:08,584 --> 00:23:10,626
‪给我嘛 我都快闷死了

429
00:23:10,626 --> 00:23:13,293
‪我知道你藏着掖着 给我一点嘛

430
00:24:08,043 --> 00:24:11,126
‪字幕翻译:张庆龄