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00:00:14,793 --> 00:00:16,793
{\an8}[insects chirruping]
2
00:00:18,543 --> 00:00:20,459
["Money Honey" playing]
3
00:00:23,043 --> 00:00:24,168
[car door closes]
4
00:00:25,626 --> 00:00:29,709
♪ You know, the landlord rang
My front doorbell ♪
5
00:00:30,293 --> 00:00:33,376
♪ I let it ring for a long, long spell ♪
6
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♪ I went to the window
I peeped through the blind ♪
7
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♪ And asked him
To tell me what was on-- ♪
8
00:00:40,043 --> 00:00:41,334
- Gabriel!
- Father!
9
00:00:41,334 --> 00:00:45,084
Uh, hey, I thought you had
a-a-a televised sermon tonight.
10
00:00:45,084 --> 00:00:46,626
Yeah, I did.
11
00:00:46,626 --> 00:00:51,668
It was all about Jesus
and his duel with the devil in the desert,
12
00:00:51,668 --> 00:00:53,959
which Jesus won!
13
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Thanks to karate.
14
00:00:55,251 --> 00:00:56,668
Wait, really?
15
00:00:56,668 --> 00:01:00,376
But little did I know
that I would come home
16
00:01:00,376 --> 00:01:05,668
to find Satan's very own music
playing in my house!
17
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[stammering]
It... I swear it won't happen again!
18
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{\an8}[laughs] Boy, I can guarantee that.
19
00:01:12,501 --> 00:01:13,918
♪ Money, honey ♪
20
00:01:14,834 --> 00:01:17,418
♪ Mm-hmm, money, honey ♪
21
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♪ Money, honey... ♪
22
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I banish this devil's vinyl
to the fires of...
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- [wind gusts]
- Oh shit!
24
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[screams]
25
00:01:28,001 --> 00:01:29,001
[Gabriel] Father!
26
00:01:29,501 --> 00:01:31,168
Damn you, polyester!
27
00:01:31,168 --> 00:01:32,584
[screams]
28
00:01:34,043 --> 00:01:37,626
♪ I finally got my baby
About half past three ♪
29
00:01:38,918 --> 00:01:39,751
Father!
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♪ I said, money, honey ♪
31
00:01:44,001 --> 00:01:46,793
♪ Uh-huh, money, honey ♪
32
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[Gabriel] Elvis!
33
00:01:50,043 --> 00:01:55,084
You burned/drowned my father!
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00:02:04,668 --> 00:02:06,418
[Elvis] Now, you see? What'd I tell you?
35
00:02:06,418 --> 00:02:08,376
{\an8}This is kind of nice.
36
00:02:08,376 --> 00:02:11,334
{\an8}I promised you more time for us,
and that starts right now.
37
00:02:11,334 --> 00:02:13,959
[laughs]
Feels like I've heard that before.
38
00:02:13,959 --> 00:02:16,168
Oh ye of little faith.
39
00:02:16,168 --> 00:02:17,709
Uh, hate to interrupt--
40
00:02:17,709 --> 00:02:19,459
But you're gonna muscle through it anyway?
41
00:02:19,459 --> 00:02:20,584
Just wanted to say hi.
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00:02:20,584 --> 00:02:22,668
Then your work is done here, ace.
Good job.
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00:02:22,668 --> 00:02:24,501
Gabriel Wolf, by the way.
44
00:02:24,501 --> 00:02:26,501
President of Wolf World Communications.
45
00:02:26,501 --> 00:02:28,168
Very excited about your concert.
46
00:02:28,168 --> 00:02:31,459
First ever broadcast
via satellite around the world,
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it's kind of impossible not to be.
48
00:02:32,918 --> 00:02:33,834
[chuckles]
49
00:02:33,834 --> 00:02:37,501
You know, we bid for the broadcast rights,
but we lost out to NBC, damn it.
50
00:02:37,501 --> 00:02:38,793
Guess you can't win them all.
51
00:02:38,793 --> 00:02:42,001
Well, Gabriel, based on
my personal life experience,
52
00:02:42,001 --> 00:02:43,501
you actually can.
53
00:02:43,501 --> 00:02:44,459
Now, you mind?
54
00:02:44,459 --> 00:02:46,084
[chuckles]
55
00:02:46,084 --> 00:02:47,209
Of course.
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00:02:47,209 --> 00:02:48,459
Good luck tomorrow.
57
00:02:49,126 --> 00:02:50,126
[laughing]
58
00:02:50,126 --> 00:02:52,418
Hey, bet you can't guess
who I just ran into.
59
00:02:52,418 --> 00:02:54,668
Safe bet, given I'm not even gonna try.
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00:02:54,668 --> 00:02:57,626
Hawaii Five-O's very own Jack Lord.
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00:02:57,626 --> 00:02:58,584
[laughs]
62
00:02:58,584 --> 00:03:01,793
Who, turns out, does not like to be
hugged in the men's room, by the way.
63
00:03:01,793 --> 00:03:04,418
He's in town filming the show.
You know I'm a huge fan.
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00:03:04,418 --> 00:03:06,418
Sounds like Jack knows that now too.
65
00:03:06,418 --> 00:03:09,626
Oh, and speaking of fans,
yours are starting to pile up over there.
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[girls screaming]
67
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Mind if I go say hi?
68
00:03:12,626 --> 00:03:14,626
Oh, I'm used to it.
69
00:03:14,626 --> 00:03:15,918
Back before you know it.
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[chuckling] Yes.
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00:03:18,209 --> 00:03:19,209
Mm-hmm.
72
00:03:19,209 --> 00:03:20,126
Yes, ma'am.
73
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[cameras clicking]
74
00:03:23,126 --> 00:03:24,876
Well, thank you very much.
75
00:03:25,459 --> 00:03:26,584
What are you doing here?
76
00:03:26,584 --> 00:03:30,668
Oh, well, I thought I was in line
to get Don Ho's autograph, so,
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00:03:30,668 --> 00:03:32,126
color me disappointed.
78
00:03:32,126 --> 00:03:33,293
Come here.
79
00:03:34,293 --> 00:03:37,293
If you're here to try to get me
to come back, you can fucking forget it.
80
00:03:37,293 --> 00:03:41,876
[laughing] Somebody's doing just fine
in the self-important department. Good.
81
00:03:41,876 --> 00:03:42,959
I'm serious.
82
00:03:42,959 --> 00:03:45,084
News flash,
the world doesn't revolve around you.
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[excited screams]
84
00:03:46,834 --> 00:03:47,959
- [snaps fingers]
- [silence]
85
00:03:47,959 --> 00:03:49,334
Wanna bet?
86
00:03:49,334 --> 00:03:52,459
Hey there, Mrs. P.
You and Elvis having a good time?
87
00:03:52,459 --> 00:03:53,834
Do me a favor, Bertie.
88
00:03:53,834 --> 00:03:55,584
If he ever gets done over there,
89
00:03:55,584 --> 00:03:57,918
tell him I caught a flight
back to Memphis.
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00:03:58,918 --> 00:04:00,126
[CeCe] I don't give a shit.
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00:04:00,126 --> 00:04:01,501
Believe whatever you want.
92
00:04:01,501 --> 00:04:03,876
You people just stay away from me.
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00:04:03,876 --> 00:04:04,834
Done.
94
00:04:05,751 --> 00:04:06,959
Oh, uh, quick question though--
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00:04:06,959 --> 00:04:09,751
No, I don't fucking know
where Don Ho lives.
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00:04:09,751 --> 00:04:12,251
[ominous music playing]
97
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{\an8}[feedback squeals]
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[reporter] And speaking of big things
coming in small packages, coming up,
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{\an8}Hervé Villechaize,
star of the new James Bond film,
100
00:04:24,543 --> 00:04:27,501
{\an8}stops by our studio
for an exclusive interview.
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00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:29,334
{\an8}I'm smoking indoors.
102
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{\an8}What the hell is this shit?
103
00:04:31,293 --> 00:04:33,126
{\an8}First I've seen him since I asked him
104
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{\an8}to go get me some potato chips
from the lobby two days ago.
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{\an8}Looks like he forgot the potato chips.
106
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{\an8}Is he even alive?
107
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{\an8}No idea.
108
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{\an8}Hey, have you seen Priscilla?
109
00:04:42,334 --> 00:04:45,084
{\an8}Yeah, look, about that.
110
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{\an8}[distant police siren]
111
00:04:46,626 --> 00:04:50,251
{\an8}Oh no, no, no, no.
Don't you even think about it, goddamn it!
112
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{\an8}[gunfire]
113
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{\an8}[action music playing]
114
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{\an8}[explosion]
115
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{\an8}- What?
- I know your car-chase face when I see it.
116
00:05:04,501 --> 00:05:08,293
{\an8}You left all that secret agent
nonsense behind you. Remember?
117
00:05:09,543 --> 00:05:10,709
{\an8}What about Priscilla?
118
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{\an8}- She had to catch a flight to Memphis.
- Really?
119
00:05:13,126 --> 00:05:17,084
{\an8}Something came up.
You should give her a call later.
120
00:05:17,084 --> 00:05:19,709
{\an8}But right now, you need to get ready.
121
00:05:19,709 --> 00:05:22,251
{\an8}Bobby Ray will be back
in a sec to pick you up.
122
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{\an8}Back from where?
123
00:05:23,251 --> 00:05:24,959
{\an8}- From picking up the kid.
- What kid?
124
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{\an8}The kid.
125
00:05:26,334 --> 00:05:30,918
{\an8}Beautiful day, top down,
wind in your hair. Isn't this great?
126
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{\an8}Yeah, I thought you'd like it.
Least I could do after, well, you know.
127
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{\an8}Hang on, are we already filming?
128
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{\an8}Wait, is that my beer back there?
129
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{\an8}[screams]
130
00:05:44,084 --> 00:05:45,668
{\an8}[Bobby Ray]
And let me tell you something.
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{\an8}You, my friend, are an inspiration.
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{\an8}Living proof that
even with a shattered windpipe,
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00:05:51,584 --> 00:05:54,293
{\an8}collapsed lung, no spleen,
and only half a kidney left,
134
00:05:54,293 --> 00:05:56,418
{\an8}there is always a silver lining.
135
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{\an8}No idea what it is, though,
but at least you get to meet Elvis,
136
00:06:00,959 --> 00:06:02,793
{\an8}for a couple seconds, anyway. No promises.
137
00:06:02,793 --> 00:06:03,793
{\an8}Want a beer?
138
00:06:03,793 --> 00:06:06,084
{\an8}After the soundcheck,
you'll come back here.
139
00:06:06,084 --> 00:06:08,251
{\an8}And I mean straight back here.
140
00:06:08,251 --> 00:06:10,126
{\an8}I'm sensing a little subtext there.
141
00:06:10,126 --> 00:06:12,751
{\an8}I saw you talking
to that woman last night.
142
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{\an8}The bimbo in the tiny bikini.
143
00:06:14,626 --> 00:06:18,668
{\an8}Okay, this may sound bad, but you're
gonna need to be way more specific.
144
00:06:19,251 --> 00:06:21,418
I'm counting on you. All of you.
145
00:06:21,418 --> 00:06:24,418
CeCe, Hawaii Five-O's Jack Lord.
146
00:06:24,418 --> 00:06:26,459
Nobody knows this island better than you.
147
00:06:26,459 --> 00:06:28,543
Character actor Hervé Villechaize.
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Time to put that wonderfully
compact frame of yours to work.
149
00:06:31,543 --> 00:06:35,084
Now get this done.
Otherwise, millions of people could die.
150
00:06:35,084 --> 00:06:37,876
Oh, so no pressure then.
Great. Thanks for that, by the way.
151
00:06:37,876 --> 00:06:39,084
Any other fun news?
152
00:06:39,084 --> 00:06:42,334
One more thing.
These bad guys we've been after?
153
00:06:42,334 --> 00:06:43,584
We finally have a name.
154
00:06:43,584 --> 00:06:46,376
When we captured the asshole
with that blueprint over there,
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he gave us one word.
156
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Malus.
157
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And he was wearing this.
158
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Oh! Is that the guy's fucking finger?
159
00:06:52,793 --> 00:06:55,209
Well, it's not
somebody else's fucking finger.
160
00:06:55,209 --> 00:06:57,209
I mean, that would be seriously twisted.
161
00:07:01,043 --> 00:07:02,543
[laughs] Oh!
162
00:07:02,543 --> 00:07:04,459
Hey there, pookie bear.
163
00:07:04,459 --> 00:07:06,668
No. Still not a thing.
What are you doing here?
164
00:07:06,668 --> 00:07:09,501
What? A girl can't come to Hawaii
to have a little fun?
165
00:07:09,501 --> 00:07:11,793
With that self-absorbed douchebag?
166
00:07:11,793 --> 00:07:12,918
No, she can't.
167
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Mm!
168
00:07:13,918 --> 00:07:15,626
Isn't he great?
169
00:07:15,626 --> 00:07:18,376
We've been sort of
rekindling an old flame.
170
00:07:18,376 --> 00:07:19,876
Bumped into each other in Vietnam,
171
00:07:19,876 --> 00:07:23,959
and he has been
sweeping me off my feet ever since.
172
00:07:23,959 --> 00:07:27,043
- Whoa, hang on.
- It's almost like a fairy tale.
173
00:07:27,043 --> 00:07:29,876
I mean, if fairy tales had, like,
174
00:07:29,876 --> 00:07:32,418
way more vodka tonics and oral sex.
175
00:07:32,418 --> 00:07:33,584
- [chuckles]
- Oh God!
176
00:07:33,584 --> 00:07:34,959
[gags and coughs]
177
00:07:34,959 --> 00:07:36,209
You okay?
178
00:07:36,209 --> 00:07:38,501
Shut up. What do you mean rekindling?
179
00:07:38,501 --> 00:07:41,668
We had a fling years ago,
before you were born.
180
00:07:41,668 --> 00:07:44,459
If you're about to tell me
Robert Goulet is my father,
181
00:07:44,459 --> 00:07:46,459
then I am going to shoot both of you.
182
00:07:46,459 --> 00:07:47,751
Like, over and over!
183
00:07:47,751 --> 00:07:50,501
Relax. There's not a chance.
184
00:07:50,501 --> 00:07:51,459
I don't think.
185
00:07:51,959 --> 00:07:54,751
[eerie music playing]
186
00:07:54,751 --> 00:07:56,584
[grunts] Shit! Shit!
187
00:07:56,584 --> 00:07:58,543
Shit! Shit!
188
00:07:59,209 --> 00:08:00,459
Oh shit.
189
00:08:00,459 --> 00:08:01,376
I gotta go.
190
00:08:01,376 --> 00:08:04,459
Telling you, Jack Lord's basically
the mayor of this entire island.
191
00:08:04,459 --> 00:08:07,001
Even lives here.
Show you his house if you want.
192
00:08:07,001 --> 00:08:08,084
Only from the car though.
193
00:08:08,084 --> 00:08:10,793
The cease-and-desist letter
was pretty clear on that.
194
00:08:10,793 --> 00:08:13,126
[dreamy luau music playing]
195
00:08:15,251 --> 00:08:16,459
[car approaching]
196
00:08:16,459 --> 00:08:18,126
Hey, CeCe with an E!
197
00:08:18,709 --> 00:08:20,209
Oh, no, no, no, no, no!
198
00:08:21,959 --> 00:08:23,918
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
199
00:08:23,918 --> 00:08:26,084
No, no, no! Hervé! The car! The car!
200
00:08:27,459 --> 00:08:29,376
- [phone ringing]
- Say words. Go.
201
00:08:30,751 --> 00:08:32,459
The fuck? Both of them?
202
00:08:35,168 --> 00:08:38,501
[Elvis] Think I'll try the Aloha tacos.
203
00:08:38,501 --> 00:08:40,376
And put yourself down
for a Cadillac, boss.
204
00:08:40,376 --> 00:08:42,043
Yes, sir.
205
00:08:42,043 --> 00:08:44,001
Anything else I can get you, Mr. Presley?
206
00:08:44,001 --> 00:08:46,668
Maybe a side order
of giant fucking asshole.
207
00:08:46,668 --> 00:08:49,918
Ooh, wait a minute, never mind.
Turns out I got one right here.
208
00:08:50,834 --> 00:08:51,668
Fuck off.
209
00:08:51,668 --> 00:08:54,751
[laughs] Now, is that any way
to talk to an old friend?
210
00:08:54,751 --> 00:08:56,918
No, but since you're not, fuck off.
211
00:08:56,918 --> 00:08:59,501
Just checking in.
Want to see how you're doing, buddy.
212
00:08:59,501 --> 00:09:02,168
Well, I'm about to play
the biggest concert of my life
213
00:09:02,168 --> 00:09:03,959
for the entire fucking planet.
214
00:09:03,959 --> 00:09:06,501
- [The Commander] Wow.
- So, doing just fine without you.
215
00:09:06,501 --> 00:09:09,626
Ha! Obviously. Need a quick favor though.
216
00:09:09,626 --> 00:09:11,293
Fuck off.
217
00:09:11,293 --> 00:09:12,584
Ah, so you've said.
218
00:09:12,584 --> 00:09:15,501
But what if I told you
there's a problem with your concert?
219
00:09:16,001 --> 00:09:17,168
- Explain.
- Okay.
220
00:09:17,834 --> 00:09:20,043
You remember that sonic weapon
we've been after?
221
00:09:20,584 --> 00:09:23,251
Well, we tracked particles
emitted by that weapon...
222
00:09:23,251 --> 00:09:24,584
Explain faster.
223
00:09:24,584 --> 00:09:25,584
...to outer space.
224
00:09:25,584 --> 00:09:27,001
What are you talking about?
225
00:09:27,001 --> 00:09:29,084
Oh, look who's interested all of a sudden.
226
00:09:29,084 --> 00:09:30,876
Uh-huh. Okay. Yeah.
227
00:09:30,876 --> 00:09:33,459
Attached to the satellite
that'll broadcast your concert
228
00:09:33,459 --> 00:09:35,334
to millions of Elvis fans watching--
229
00:09:35,334 --> 00:09:36,668
Uh, try billions.
230
00:09:36,668 --> 00:09:39,043
Uh, number sounds a tad high.
231
00:09:39,043 --> 00:09:43,293
Your show, your music, is about
to infect people around the world,
232
00:09:43,293 --> 00:09:47,251
turning them into bloodthirsty lunatics.
It'll be a global bloodbath.
233
00:09:47,251 --> 00:09:50,501
Then what the fuck are you doing
sitting here? Take care of it!
234
00:09:50,501 --> 00:09:51,709
That's why I need you.
235
00:09:51,709 --> 00:09:52,834
You've got people.
236
00:09:52,834 --> 00:09:54,584
I got people? I got people? Guess what.
237
00:09:54,584 --> 00:09:57,918
I got two less after your idiot friend
ran over them in the parking lot.
238
00:09:57,918 --> 00:09:59,668
Fucking Bobby Ray.
239
00:09:59,668 --> 00:10:01,293
I'm running out of people I can trust.
240
00:10:01,293 --> 00:10:02,584
What are you talking about?
241
00:10:02,584 --> 00:10:05,126
TCB's got a mole. A traitor.
242
00:10:05,126 --> 00:10:07,668
- [Elvis] What?
- The stolen sonic tech. The weapon.
243
00:10:07,668 --> 00:10:09,126
It's got to be an inside job.
244
00:10:09,626 --> 00:10:11,584
[dramatic music playing]
245
00:10:14,001 --> 00:10:15,043
Won't be long now.
246
00:10:15,584 --> 00:10:16,918
My grand finale.
247
00:10:16,918 --> 00:10:20,251
After tonight,
Elvis Presley will no longer be beloved.
248
00:10:20,251 --> 00:10:21,626
He'll be reviled.
249
00:10:21,626 --> 00:10:25,001
You asked me why I didn't
let you kill him at the Jaycees Awards.
250
00:10:25,001 --> 00:10:26,209
Well, today is why.
251
00:10:27,918 --> 00:10:29,501
The day Elvis goes down in history
252
00:10:29,501 --> 00:10:32,043
as the man whose music
caused millions to die.
253
00:10:32,043 --> 00:10:34,959
The day the world will
finally loathe Elvis as I do,
254
00:10:34,959 --> 00:10:36,793
for as the Bible foretold,
255
00:10:36,793 --> 00:10:40,084
"And the bedazzled,
caped man who sangeth evilly
256
00:10:40,084 --> 00:10:42,501
was finally brought to his knees."
257
00:10:42,501 --> 00:10:45,084
Leviticus 4:12. Pretty sure.
258
00:10:46,543 --> 00:10:48,001
Close enough for me.
259
00:10:49,834 --> 00:10:51,251
So let me get this straight.
260
00:10:51,751 --> 00:10:53,751
You get me drafted into the Army
261
00:10:53,751 --> 00:10:56,918
so you could make
a mind-control device based on my DNA,
262
00:10:56,918 --> 00:10:57,959
that you then lose,
263
00:10:57,959 --> 00:11:01,459
and now has ended up on a fucking
satellite about to destroy the world,
264
00:11:01,459 --> 00:11:03,584
and you want me to do something about it?
265
00:11:03,584 --> 00:11:06,084
Ooh! Well, that was kind of a long road,
266
00:11:06,084 --> 00:11:07,543
but yeah, pretty much.
267
00:11:07,543 --> 00:11:11,168
You realize you're basically asking me
to save the world from myself?
268
00:11:11,168 --> 00:11:14,084
Yeah. And if it's not this concert,
it'll be the next one.
269
00:11:14,084 --> 00:11:16,293
Goddamn it. You know what?
270
00:11:16,293 --> 00:11:18,501
I was doing a hell of a lot better
before I met you.
271
00:11:18,501 --> 00:11:19,668
[laughs]
272
00:11:19,668 --> 00:11:23,001
Oh come on. You were moonlighting
as a dime-store vigilante.
273
00:11:23,001 --> 00:11:24,293
It was pathetic.
274
00:11:24,293 --> 00:11:26,209
I took you global, kid.
275
00:11:26,209 --> 00:11:29,543
No, what you did was take me
down a rabbit hole full of your bullshit.
276
00:11:29,543 --> 00:11:32,209
Yeah. And then
you shot me twice and quit.
277
00:11:32,209 --> 00:11:33,459
After all I did for you.
278
00:11:33,459 --> 00:11:35,459
How do you think that made me feel, huh?
279
00:11:35,459 --> 00:11:36,501
You'll get over it.
280
00:11:36,501 --> 00:11:40,376
- I was emotionally sodomized.
- Where do you come up with this shit?
281
00:11:40,376 --> 00:11:41,959
Writer's room, I don't know.
282
00:11:41,959 --> 00:11:44,084
Point is, are you going to help me or not?
283
00:11:44,084 --> 00:11:45,709
We're running out of time.
284
00:11:47,918 --> 00:11:49,251
[grumbles]
285
00:11:49,751 --> 00:11:51,251
Okay, I'll do it.
286
00:11:51,251 --> 00:11:53,251
But not because you asked me.
287
00:11:53,251 --> 00:11:56,626
More because these assholes
aren't about to ruin my show.
288
00:11:56,626 --> 00:12:00,793
And "Elvis Saves the World,"
it's got a nice ring to it.
289
00:12:00,793 --> 00:12:03,668
Ha-ha! And I haven't
even told you the best part yet.
290
00:12:04,459 --> 00:12:05,876
[spy music playing]
291
00:12:14,459 --> 00:12:16,376
Do you actually enjoy
being this predictable?
292
00:12:16,376 --> 00:12:17,459
[sighs]
293
00:12:17,459 --> 00:12:18,376
Excuse me?
294
00:12:18,376 --> 00:12:20,584
So knew you'd fall for the jetpack.
295
00:12:20,584 --> 00:12:21,793
What's he doing here?
296
00:12:21,793 --> 00:12:23,501
And where the hell are my potato chips?
297
00:12:24,709 --> 00:12:27,584
Yeah, sorry, had to borrow
your little friend here. We need him.
298
00:12:27,584 --> 00:12:28,959
- For what?
- For that.
299
00:12:31,418 --> 00:12:33,751
The capsule was designed for Hervé
300
00:12:33,751 --> 00:12:36,876
to fly up to the satellite
and disarm the sonic weapons.
301
00:12:36,876 --> 00:12:39,793
But since Hervé's busy
bleeding out in a parking lot,
302
00:12:39,793 --> 00:12:41,959
we're gonna have to go
with the next best thing.
303
00:12:42,543 --> 00:12:44,168
Remember all those assholes at NASA
304
00:12:44,168 --> 00:12:46,418
who kicked you out
for arguably understandable reasons?
305
00:12:47,418 --> 00:12:50,876
Well, this is your chance
to prove them wrong. Own it.
306
00:12:51,584 --> 00:12:52,668
[inhales]
307
00:12:53,793 --> 00:12:54,626
Yeah.
308
00:12:55,418 --> 00:12:57,001
No way this ends badly.
309
00:12:57,001 --> 00:12:58,501
[buzzer sounding]
310
00:12:58,501 --> 00:13:00,251
[engines erupt]
311
00:13:06,709 --> 00:13:08,793
Godspeed, drunk monkey.
312
00:13:08,793 --> 00:13:10,084
Godspeed.
313
00:13:12,001 --> 00:13:13,043
[knock on door]
314
00:13:14,709 --> 00:13:16,251
Bertie, what are you...
315
00:13:16,251 --> 00:13:18,084
[screams]
316
00:13:18,084 --> 00:13:19,459
- [electricity crackles]
- [gasps]
317
00:13:20,043 --> 00:13:21,084
[Elvis] Scatter okay?
318
00:13:21,084 --> 00:13:23,293
[CeCe] He's fine.
It's telemetry from the rocket.
319
00:13:23,293 --> 00:13:25,626
We knew there was a signal station
somewhere on the island
320
00:13:25,626 --> 00:13:28,459
that's been hacking into the satellite,
and now we know where.
321
00:13:28,459 --> 00:13:31,459
Heh. Well, then,
what the hell are we waiting for?
322
00:13:35,126 --> 00:13:38,501
[Bertie] Elvis had
this zapper gun of yours ever since Vegas.
323
00:13:39,001 --> 00:13:39,834
He loves it.
324
00:13:40,418 --> 00:13:42,334
Oh, and it's growing on me too.
325
00:13:42,334 --> 00:13:44,126
Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait!
326
00:13:44,126 --> 00:13:45,793
Wait. Okay.
327
00:13:45,793 --> 00:13:49,709
First off, kind of turned on right now.
I'm just putting that out there. Second--
328
00:13:49,709 --> 00:13:50,751
- Shut up!
- Copy that.
329
00:13:50,751 --> 00:13:53,209
Now where the hell's my Elvis?
330
00:13:54,001 --> 00:13:55,709
Doing what he was born to do.
331
00:13:55,709 --> 00:13:59,168
I'm not gonna let you
ruin that boy's life all over again.
332
00:13:59,168 --> 00:14:00,459
Ruin his life?
333
00:14:01,001 --> 00:14:03,501
That man's literally trying
to save the world right now,
334
00:14:03,501 --> 00:14:06,043
and instead, you want him
to do what, a fucking sound check?
335
00:14:09,584 --> 00:14:12,793
Better not be a scratch on him, or else.
336
00:14:12,793 --> 00:14:14,543
Or else what, exactly?
337
00:14:14,543 --> 00:14:16,126
[electricity powering up]
338
00:14:16,126 --> 00:14:20,626
Okay, if you don't put that thing down,
one of two things is gonna happen here.
339
00:14:20,626 --> 00:14:23,168
- [electricity crackles]
- [screams]
340
00:14:24,209 --> 00:14:26,793
Huh. Wonder what the other thing was.
341
00:14:26,793 --> 00:14:28,459
[dramatic music playing]
342
00:14:31,709 --> 00:14:35,293
Guess we aim for the cartoonishly large M.
343
00:14:39,418 --> 00:14:40,918
[funky rock music playing]
344
00:14:45,168 --> 00:14:46,418
[groans]
345
00:14:46,418 --> 00:14:47,918
[shrieks]
346
00:14:55,043 --> 00:14:56,376
[CeCe] Where are all the bad guys?
347
00:14:57,959 --> 00:15:00,293
[Elvis] You just had to fucking ask,
didn't you?
348
00:15:10,293 --> 00:15:11,251
[man screams]
349
00:15:12,209 --> 00:15:13,168
Ah shit!
350
00:15:18,876 --> 00:15:21,001
Well, it was fun while it lasted.
351
00:15:27,209 --> 00:15:28,043
Ha-ha!
352
00:15:28,043 --> 00:15:31,751
Honestly, I don't know which was better,
my aim or my entrance.
353
00:15:32,751 --> 00:15:33,668
Thanks for that.
354
00:15:33,668 --> 00:15:34,668
Don't mention it.
355
00:15:34,668 --> 00:15:36,334
What? You saving my ass?
356
00:15:36,334 --> 00:15:37,334
[chuckles]
357
00:15:37,334 --> 00:15:38,543
That won't be a problem.
358
00:15:38,543 --> 00:15:41,084
Now, you, my friend,
have a concert to get to.
359
00:15:41,084 --> 00:15:44,001
[Elvis] Not until we take out that dish.
360
00:15:44,001 --> 00:15:47,293
Oh, get on with your show.
I'll take care of it, trust me.
361
00:15:48,626 --> 00:15:50,418
You know what? I don't think I will.
362
00:15:51,001 --> 00:15:52,459
- [cocks hammer]
- Uh...
363
00:15:52,459 --> 00:15:53,793
What are you doing?
364
00:15:53,793 --> 00:15:57,001
Forgot to check the grip
on your rocket launcher there.
365
00:15:57,001 --> 00:15:58,376
Goddamn it.
366
00:15:58,376 --> 00:16:00,376
You know they put
these stupid M's on everything.
367
00:16:00,376 --> 00:16:02,751
It's like they're selling
fucking time-shares.
368
00:16:02,751 --> 00:16:05,043
So you're the fucking traitor.
369
00:16:05,043 --> 00:16:07,209
"Traitor" is such an ugly word.
370
00:16:07,209 --> 00:16:08,793
Accurate, but ugly.
371
00:16:10,418 --> 00:16:11,584
[gunfire]
372
00:16:15,001 --> 00:16:17,501
Such a pompous prick!
373
00:16:17,501 --> 00:16:18,626
Correction.
374
00:16:18,626 --> 00:16:21,584
Tony Award-winning pompous prick!
375
00:16:21,584 --> 00:16:23,251
There's a big difference.
376
00:16:23,251 --> 00:16:24,584
[both grunt]
377
00:16:26,293 --> 00:16:28,293
Okay, that sucked.
378
00:16:28,293 --> 00:16:30,584
Oh come on. Don't be like that.
379
00:16:31,751 --> 00:16:33,709
We're just getting to the fun part.
380
00:16:33,709 --> 00:16:35,001
For me, I mean.
381
00:16:36,001 --> 00:16:37,709
Remember those experiments
382
00:16:37,709 --> 00:16:40,251
the Commander performed on you
in the Army?
383
00:16:41,293 --> 00:16:42,501
I was there.
384
00:16:44,168 --> 00:16:47,001
Back then,
I was the Commander's right-hand man.
385
00:16:48,876 --> 00:16:52,834
I watched you turn into an animal.
You should have died.
386
00:16:53,501 --> 00:16:54,876
Sorry to disappoint.
387
00:16:54,876 --> 00:16:56,709
And then you came back.
388
00:16:56,709 --> 00:16:59,793
Waltzing into TCB like you own the place,
389
00:16:59,793 --> 00:17:04,501
with your sculpted hair
and your granite jawline,
390
00:17:04,501 --> 00:17:08,043
and-and that pouty yet inviting mouth.
391
00:17:08,043 --> 00:17:11,209
Uh, starting to feel like
this is about something else.
392
00:17:12,001 --> 00:17:13,959
[Goulet]
Like you didn't already have it all.
393
00:17:13,959 --> 00:17:16,168
The talent, the legions of fans,
394
00:17:16,168 --> 00:17:17,834
the amazing music.
395
00:17:17,834 --> 00:17:19,251
That wasn't enough?
396
00:17:19,251 --> 00:17:23,126
You had to take TCB away from me too?
397
00:17:23,126 --> 00:17:24,126
Ah.
398
00:17:24,834 --> 00:17:26,418
So you do like my music.
399
00:17:27,001 --> 00:17:30,251
Um, is that seriously
all you got out of that?
400
00:17:30,834 --> 00:17:32,543
[groaning]
401
00:17:32,543 --> 00:17:35,209
Hey! Aren't you
supposed to be boning my mom?
402
00:17:35,209 --> 00:17:36,251
Hyah!
403
00:17:38,501 --> 00:17:39,501
You okay?
404
00:17:40,084 --> 00:17:40,918
Yeah.
405
00:17:40,918 --> 00:17:43,584
- What was that all about?
- Fucking Goulet.
406
00:17:43,584 --> 00:17:45,793
[Goulet]
Interesting choice of dying words,
407
00:17:45,793 --> 00:17:48,126
but hey, at least I'm in there somewhere.
408
00:17:48,126 --> 00:17:50,334
[suspenseful spy music playing]
409
00:17:56,459 --> 00:17:59,751
Uh, did I miss the fucking meeting?
What the hell'd you do that for?
410
00:17:59,751 --> 00:18:02,751
Ah, believe it or not, he might be my dad.
411
00:18:03,793 --> 00:18:05,626
- So the hell what?
- [machinery whirring]
412
00:18:07,584 --> 00:18:08,959
[powering up]
413
00:18:13,709 --> 00:18:15,751
[dramatic music playing]
414
00:18:18,168 --> 00:18:19,293
[coos]
415
00:18:21,334 --> 00:18:22,626
[monitors beeping]
416
00:18:22,626 --> 00:18:24,084
What in the fuck?
417
00:18:27,834 --> 00:18:29,334
[Scatter gibbering]
418
00:18:29,334 --> 00:18:31,251
["Also sprach Zarathustra" playing]
419
00:18:38,459 --> 00:18:40,126
[beeping]
420
00:18:42,543 --> 00:18:45,626
Hey, think your super great dad's
gonna mind if I borrow this?
421
00:18:45,626 --> 00:18:46,543
Shut up.
422
00:18:50,959 --> 00:18:52,876
[rapid beeping]
423
00:18:53,668 --> 00:18:55,293
No! No, no, no, no, no, no!
424
00:18:55,876 --> 00:19:00,001
By Jesus
and his seven glorious dwarf apostles,
425
00:19:00,001 --> 00:19:01,709
I swear this ain't over.
426
00:19:03,001 --> 00:19:04,376
Fucking Goulet.
427
00:19:04,376 --> 00:19:06,251
Are you serious? He's the mole?
428
00:19:06,251 --> 00:19:07,209
Very.
429
00:19:07,209 --> 00:19:10,626
Hey, I've been telling folks for years,
this guy is a bag of shit.
430
00:19:10,626 --> 00:19:12,459
[sighs] Well, either way,
431
00:19:13,126 --> 00:19:14,168
job well done.
432
00:19:14,168 --> 00:19:16,793
We still gotta get Scatter
when he comes back down.
433
00:19:16,793 --> 00:19:19,751
Comes back down? What are you...
434
00:19:19,751 --> 00:19:22,501
No, no, no, that was a one-way trip.
He's stuck up there.
435
00:19:22,501 --> 00:19:24,459
What the fuck are you talking about?
436
00:19:24,459 --> 00:19:26,751
Which is exactly what Hervé would've said.
437
00:19:26,751 --> 00:19:28,293
So, yeah, I didn't tell him either.
438
00:19:31,126 --> 00:19:33,584
- Where are you going?
- To the airport, goddamn it!
439
00:19:35,001 --> 00:19:37,501
- [door slams]
- God, I love his angry energy.
440
00:19:38,084 --> 00:19:40,793
[CeCe] Let me get this straight.
You were so consumed with jealousy
441
00:19:40,793 --> 00:19:44,334
over the fake Apollo moon landing
that you spent millions of dollars
442
00:19:44,334 --> 00:19:47,501
to convert this thing
into a half-ass space plane?
443
00:19:48,376 --> 00:19:52,001
Well, when you put it like that,
yeah, it sounds kind of pathetic.
444
00:19:52,001 --> 00:19:53,793
[uplifting dramatic music playing]
445
00:19:59,668 --> 00:20:01,418
[engines roaring]
446
00:20:06,126 --> 00:20:07,876
You brought your fucking Grammys?
447
00:20:10,584 --> 00:20:13,043
Are those... potato chips?
448
00:20:14,084 --> 00:20:15,751
That little motherfucker.
449
00:20:16,334 --> 00:20:17,168
Hang on.
450
00:20:17,751 --> 00:20:18,668
What the hell?
451
00:20:18,668 --> 00:20:20,751
[funky music playing]
452
00:20:28,251 --> 00:20:29,709
[beeping]
453
00:20:40,918 --> 00:20:43,001
Okay, that's just fucking wrong.
454
00:20:43,001 --> 00:20:44,293
I'm going to get him.
455
00:20:45,251 --> 00:20:48,751
[CeCe] You just happened to have
Neil Armstrong's spacesuit handy?
456
00:20:48,751 --> 00:20:51,543
Uh, kinda. Yeah.
457
00:20:51,543 --> 00:20:52,543
[CeCe] Hang on.
458
00:20:52,543 --> 00:20:56,709
You two morons were actually gonna try
and fly this piece of shit to the moon?
459
00:20:59,209 --> 00:21:00,334
[Elvis] Come on, damn it.
460
00:21:00,334 --> 00:21:03,126
I think you're supposed
to blow in his mouth or something.
461
00:21:03,126 --> 00:21:05,376
Obvious STDs notwithstanding.
462
00:21:07,293 --> 00:21:08,584
[blows]
463
00:21:10,834 --> 00:21:12,126
[gasps]
464
00:21:13,626 --> 00:21:15,584
Why is that like that right now?
465
00:21:15,584 --> 00:21:17,209
Ugh, God, can we go home?
466
00:21:17,209 --> 00:21:19,709
Oh yeah, about that.
467
00:21:19,709 --> 00:21:20,959
Unfortunately, no.
468
00:21:20,959 --> 00:21:22,376
[CeCe] What are you talking about?
469
00:21:22,376 --> 00:21:24,376
Little problem with the heat shield.
470
00:21:24,376 --> 00:21:26,959
Uh, what's the little problem?
471
00:21:26,959 --> 00:21:28,584
I haven't installed one yet.
472
00:21:28,584 --> 00:21:30,376
Uh, we'll burn up on re-entry.
473
00:21:30,376 --> 00:21:32,001
You know, hearing that out loud,
474
00:21:32,001 --> 00:21:33,959
it's kind of
a bigger than a little problem.
475
00:21:33,959 --> 00:21:35,293
God... Jesus!
476
00:21:35,293 --> 00:21:36,626
Wait, what?
477
00:21:36,626 --> 00:21:38,459
Are you out of your fucking mind?
478
00:21:38,459 --> 00:21:40,543
["Also sprach Zarathustra" playing]
479
00:21:42,501 --> 00:21:43,418
[Bobby Ray] Hang on, E.
480
00:21:44,334 --> 00:21:45,293
[CeCe]
You can't do this.
481
00:21:45,293 --> 00:21:47,501
You can't pretend to be
a human heat shield.
482
00:21:47,501 --> 00:21:48,668
You'll burn alive!
483
00:21:48,668 --> 00:21:51,334
Boss, are you sure about this?
484
00:21:51,334 --> 00:21:52,959
I got a show to do, buddy.
485
00:21:52,959 --> 00:21:54,834
You never leave a packed house waiting.
486
00:21:54,834 --> 00:21:55,876
Hey, look at me.
487
00:21:55,876 --> 00:21:57,668
Don't do this!
488
00:21:57,668 --> 00:21:58,668
Look.
489
00:21:59,459 --> 00:22:00,918
I've gotta at least try.
490
00:22:01,876 --> 00:22:03,251
You folks best strap in.
491
00:22:07,043 --> 00:22:08,168
You know what?
492
00:22:08,168 --> 00:22:11,043
Just now realizing
I haven't checked in with Priscilla,
493
00:22:11,043 --> 00:22:13,001
and that's probably not a good sign.
494
00:22:13,001 --> 00:22:14,668
[CeCe] Just take care of yourself.
495
00:22:15,168 --> 00:22:18,709
But yeah, relationship-wise,
it's not a great sign at all.
496
00:22:18,709 --> 00:22:20,793
["Also sprach Zarathustra" continues]
497
00:22:29,584 --> 00:22:31,751
[upbeat swing music playing]
498
00:22:45,626 --> 00:22:48,251
[The Commander]
Howard, listen, I may need you
499
00:22:48,251 --> 00:22:50,793
to resume your cloning research.
500
00:22:50,793 --> 00:22:53,459
[Howard, on phone]
Uh... I was supposed to stop?
501
00:22:54,043 --> 00:22:57,626
Yeah, we're probably
gonna need a new Elvis.
502
00:22:57,626 --> 00:22:59,709
[upbeat swing music playing]